Let’s go back to tiny little Penelope. She was under-stimulated, outspoken and would physically run circles around anyone. I’d say the darndest things for shock-factor and most adults told me to shut-up—and honestly rightfully so—I was rude and full of sugar. I would destroy everything. I’d cut the cords to lamps, hose down the concrete until it was soaked and play fake ice hockey, rollerblade on the trampoline, skateboard from the tallest hill I could find and scrape my whole entire face before picture day, swing on the clothesline until it snapped, cut up sheets, cut the heads of teddies and my personal favourite was when I went around the foam edges of the trampoline and scalloped it… with my teeth. I was feral… but fun.

Coined “gifted” until about 11, then deemed the class clown—loved for my energy all through the 13 years of schooling (by most people). I was never inherently bad, but… just bored and looking for attention, or anything to stimulate my brain that was running on overdrive.

When I was about 7 or 8, I became a bit less feral and stopped cutting lamp cords but I started to notice a voice. My own voice? A voice in the back of my head. A voice I thought was God because that was the only explanation I had at 8 years old. A voice that was testing me… Bite that kid… pull out a log from the fireplace and put it on the carpet… and simple things like count to eight as you close the door… and I would reply with you think I won’t do it? And a lot of the time I didn’t do as “God” asked me and then something bad would happen and I would associate that bad thing as the result of not doing the test God had asked of me.

The smaller things I did do and they became habit—some even to this day. If I don’t do them it feels—if I had to explain it simply I guess—frustrating could be a word—like someone has smashed my lego set that I’d worked on for 6 months. But back when I was a kid, it felt scary, like God was going to kill my pet guinea pig or cat. And I believe he did… he killed both of them because I didn’t do as he said.

Then sometimes someone else would be involved. Mum would drive the wrong way home and make God mad. Or there were only 11 Tiny Teddy biscuits in my lunch instead of 12. God is mad. I’m done for.

As I got older, into my teens I still had no explanation. I realised it wasn’t God but maybe it was the devil—I obviously had a very painfully catholic upbringing. I was also sure that God hated me as a teenager anyway. He’s a spiteful character isn’t he? My OCD got way worse. I indulged it as best I could but I became a massive germaphobe and washed my hands endlessly throughout the day. I’d keep my ears covered 24/7 in case bugs got in. If someone touched them, my whole day felt fuzzy like I couldn’t touch anything. My compulsions became habit. Counting to eight as I closed every door. Making sure none of my objects touched in my bedroom… it was endless.

I stayed energetic, under-stimulated and outspoken as a teenager (albeit less and less as I grew) and I accepted that I was just a bit weird with my background voice and compulsions that I could keep fairly under wraps. I learnt to ignore the voice as best I could knowing it wasn’t truly anyone—just myself. But I still did most compulsions to keep myself from getting frustrated. Other things helped. I danced ballet almost every day/night which was the same steps, the same outfit, the same music. It was freeing as a child and teenager living with OCD. There was right and wrong. And there was no OCD in this environment—my safe haven. I find myself returning to it now as an adult when I feel dysregulated.

And of course like any undiagnosed teenage neurodivergent, I turned to a creative outlet. For me—I wrote daily—constantly—to help me understand myself better and to quiet the voice in my head. Even though I was the only one who was listening, it became my lifeline and still is to this day. My compulsions became part of my life and those closest to me just found them quirky and didn’t mention them much. I just lived with them.

Then, it wasn’t until I was 21 that I found out I had OCD. I went to a therapist for an unrelated event that happened that I really needed a third party stranger to hear. I told her about my life and of course, my childhood, which is a therapist’s most delicious topic… and yadda yadda, yap yap yap, as you do with a therapist and eventually she told me I had OCD.

A diagnosis I would have looovvveeeddd at 8 years old to help me understand, but at 21, did it really make a difference? I’d finished university, I had a job, friends, a boyfriend, I’d already travelled to Europe, the US and Indonesia. Like, I was fine? Did it matter that I had OCD? No, but I thought it did so I kept going to therapy to “uncover” more.

For the next few years, I went to therapy fortnightly. Turns out all that running around and boredom as a kid? It was ADHD. Turns out I was not okay, despite thinking I was doing pretty well. Turns out I had all this unresolved trauma and repressed memories.

After I “uncovered” all of this, I went less and less. Monthly, and then every few months. And then after thousands of dollars, my therapist told me I was fine. After about six years of going to see her, she said that I didn’t need to come anymore. So I stopped going.

But it was too late. Therapy had turned me into a victim. No one understood me anymore. Everyone was out to get me. Therapy told me that I was not okay, even though I had lived my life being okay with being a bit weird. I embraced it and had found the outlets that worked for me, but no no no, that’s not allowed. You’re different and here’s a piece of paper to tell you so. Oh and that ex boyfriend? A narcissist. Your parents? Oh my god, terrible people.

And then enter the boom of short-form videos and then later “platform diagnosis” (Alper et al. 2023, Lupton & Southerton 2024). A whole world of people began self-diagnosing themselves. For me, I felt included (for just one moment).

After six years of being told I was not normal, this influx of neurodivergent discourse made me feel included, yes, but it also added mayo to everything. It was mostly, if not all, misinformation for views and telling neurodivergent people that the world was set-up against them.

And then… Wah wah wah… it became a whole generation of people who wanted to feel special with a special neurodivergent brain. People without a neurodivergent brain consumed this content and wanted to feel included, so the smallest thing became a self-diagnosis—a platform diagnosis.

It became a generation of victims looking for an excuse for their shitty behaviour.

“I’ve got ADHD.”

No, your attention span sucks because you scroll videos all day.

“I’ve got OCD.”

No, you just like to have a clean house.

“That’s an intrusive thought.”

No, it’s just a regular thought that’s bad but logical.

“Platformed diagnosis” on social media has turned an entire generation into victims. With more than 20 billion views on ADHD and a similar number on autism on TikTok alone, self-diagnosis is dangerous. It’s not real. It’s contagious peer influence. It’s glamourised personal-storytelling, leading people to misidentify perfectly normal (albeit sometimes shitty) behaviour.

According to Healthline, who referenced this study, the most popular autism-related videos were only 27% accurate. Over 41% were completely inaccurate and 32% were overly generalised. These are videos that have been viewed almost 150 million times. Social media is not real information. It’s marketing. It’s used to make you buy something. It’s to gain your attention. It’s not to help you.

Are you looking for answers to help your life or are you just bored?

Now before you come at me, I’m not talking about people who have real debilitating neurodivergence or disability. I’m talking about the people who just spend too much time on the internet and think they have all these “things”. You probably don’t. You’re probably fine.

On the flip side, therapy or diagnosis or even medication in some cases can make your quality of life better and you deserve that, absolutely. For someone like me, therapy gave me new tools to manage my OCD and to understand what triggers it. But it also made some things worse—like my sense of self.

I was doing fine without therapy and probably would have done fine, if not well, for the rest of my life without it. But who’s to know what would have happened if I didn’t go?

Today, my OCD arrives occasionally. And I know why and what triggers it, not from therapy, from years of living with it. I’ve journaled and documented when I feel my worst so now, I know what to avoid. My OCD arrives when I eat too much sugar for weeks in a row. When I haven’t slept well for a few days. When I drink or take “party favours”. When I don’t exercise for more than two days in a row. When I haven’t done something new for a few weeks. Or even, when I see certain people. So I avoid most of this regularly. If it happens, I know why and I get back on track to taking care of my brain.

But ADHD? I fight it daily. I just call it discipline. I set timers to work. I read books, play chess, do puzzles, bake and watch only long-form content (mostly) to keep my attention span as healthy as possible. I train my brain as much as I can. And it’s a daily hurdle that I work hard for. I don’t see my neurodivergence as a disability, use it as a crutch or as an excuse. Because then it becomes one. For me, it’s just a hurdle that requires steps to keep it in check—that’s all.

Your brain is an organ like the rest of your organs. When you drink too much, your liver is punished. When you eat too much cholesterol for 30 years, your heart is punished. When you consume garbage media and garbage food, your brain is punished. So why would you expect it to work well?

If you’re a creative person, you probably, could, might, maybe be, a little bit neurodivergent. But it’s not an excuse. Find what triggers your neurodivergence and avoid it. Certain people or environments? Certain foods? Drinking or drugs? No exercise? Watching short-form content? Too much television? Or maybe it’s all of the above, like me.

Be careful what you’re consuming and what you’re deciding is important to your quality of life. A small thought can take a small quirk to thinking you’re actually disabled. And something that you’ve lived with easily can actually ruin your quality of life when you go too far. You actually might just need some sun. A nutritious meal. Some exercise. A break-up. A move to a new country…

Just a reminder that hey… you’re probably fine.

But if you don’t feel fine or you finally get that diagnosis from a professional (not TikTok), work around it—work with it. Don’t let it define you and ruin your life. Because there’s plenty of pros to having a neurodivergent brain. For one, you’re probably more interesting and creative. Use that—focus on that.

So if you’re “quirky”, just know that you’re allowed to be quirky and live your life without a diagnosis, therapy or an explanation. You probably don’t need to unravel your subconscious and delve deep in there. It’s okay to be a bit weird and live with your quirks.

You’re not a victim. You’re cool and interesting and unique. So delve if you want to, but don’t go too deep, you might get lost. I did for a while…

PCS

Last night I finished The Memory Police by Yōko Ogawa. It’s a slow paced novel and I absorbed it with real intent. I read it nightly over a month or so, even though it’s only 72,000 words. The Memory Police was first published in 1994, but I think it will remain timeless in its ideas. In fact, the ideas feel so relevant to today’s world that it feels as if Ogawa has predicted our future.

The Memory Police is based on a fictional island where things disappear frequently. First they disappear mentally and the people who live on the island can no longer recall the names of the things that were once important to them. Common things like perfume, flowers, music boxes, the ferry, hats and then eventually larger, more important things.

I won’t spoil the novel too much because I strongly recommend reading it if you are a deep-thinker or enjoy Japanese writers, who I think seem to be able to create such spectacular worlds out of such ordinary moments.

In the novel, each time something disappears, the people on the island forget that thing ever existed. They make do even if their profession or favourite hobby is taken from them. They get on with their lives without a second thought. Like they never needed it. Like it never truly existed.

The Memory Police evoked many thoughts but there are two main ones that have stuck with me all day. The first is how little we actually need in this life to be happy. Life can be simple and enjoyable. My second thought was about over-consumption and how quickly the things we buy and view become obsolete–almost instantly we have forgotten about the media we just consumed or the new journal kit that had one or none uses.

We are living on this island even though we don’t realise it. We are the Memory Police ourselves—taking away our own memories. It’s just how we live our lives as best we can in a system that has been built to consume and forget. Use and dispose. We are the ones removing the memory of our things like they never existed. But just like the people on the island, it feels like there’s nothing we can do about it but move on and dispose of the next thing.

Yesterday you thought you’d love knitting after seeing a pretty woman with a knitting hobby. You bought the $39.99 Knitting Kit for Beginners and it arrived at your door that afternoon. You tried the knitting kit only to realise it’s not for you and so it is placed in the cupboard next to the ice-cream maker, the 3D printer and the roller-skates. For a brief moment, you remember those items but then you close the cupboard and forget all over again. Each new acquisition is the same and it will fade at the same speed. Each item is forgotten like it never existed.

Why do these things get forgotten so easily? Why is it so easy to dispose of everything? Maybe you never actually needed it in the first place. You haven’t needed it to survive and you haven’t had a true interest in it. Real passions and callings drive you—you don’t have to force them.

The pretty knitting woman probably knits, and has been knitting off camera for a while—she just decided to share her hobby with the world. And you thought it looked cool or nice or cosy or something. But you never really had an interest in it. Just like most content-creators who share hobbies, interests or skills, they didn’t start content-creation alongside their skill. They added the skill of content creation after. Now you’ve been shown a 7 second clip thinking her whole life is cosy knitting and now you want that too. And for one second, when you buy that knitting kit, you think you’ll have that life. For one second, you’ve got that dopamine of possibility. But it’s gone just as quickly as it arrived.

So you think the next thing will be different and the cycle is repeated. See. Want. Purchase. Dopamine of possibility. Try. Forget. See. Want…

Our brains often forget things that we don’t find important. Like you didn’t find the knitting kit important. And just like on the island in The Memory Police, we adapt like the thing we’ve forgotten never existed in the first place. We never needed it to begin with.

Like men continue to go to war and forget the slaughter, as time passes, you try to remember your mistake, but you’ve forgotten. Eventually you’ll make the mistake again.

A new dawn will break over the darkened world, when our mistakes will once again be forgotten. - Odysseus in Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey.

But your knitting kit hasn’t made history. You haven’t started a war. It’s not a tale to be told down through generations. It’s okay to forget. Nothing’s really happened. Like all things in the past, you’ll forget you made a mistake in buying it and buy the next thing.

The knitting kit you bought isn’t being mourned. It’s not sad to forget. It wasn’t important and you’ll survive without it. All that’s happened is that you’ve gone back to being the person without the knitting kit.

Eventually you’ll begin to wonder and your search bar will again read, buy knitting kits, express shipping.

PCS

Are you miserable? Lost? Looking for purpose? Sounds like the start of one of those 2000s self-help CDs… But this isn’t self-help. This is just my own experience and you should use that however you want.

If you’re a creative person, you probably have 100 ideas daily. How do you choose one? How do you know which is the right one? Which one will be fruitful? Which will make you happy in the long-term?

I have a friend who’s on her way out of OF. She’s been doing it for years, probably since the creation of the platform. Once a fruitful and exciting career has now turned into something she doesn’t enjoy. And after 10 years of doing anything, chances are you’ll probably be over it—OF or not.

So we were talking about why she got into it and her answer shocked me. She had just gotten out of a 10 year relationship and she wanted… revenge. Revenge on the man who broke her heart—to show him that she was desirable by 1000s of men, able to make more money than him, to be more successful than he was. It was to laugh in his face. And I guess once she achieved that, once the “revenge” was actioned, it was like… Oh… I did it. Now what?

I had a similar experience in starting a business. I realistically started a business with my boyfriend (Eden), firstly, just so I wouldn’t have to answer to anyone and I could curate my own life.

But as soon as I quit that 9-5 and my boss said to me “Just so you know, it’s hard to start a business and get rich,” a fire was lit under my stomach and I remembered all those people in my life who said I wouldn’t be successful—teachers, peers, employers. I got mad and that drove me to work hard and build a really successful small business.

Then I did it and nothing happened. No old teacher called me up and said “I’m sorry I didn’t think you would be successful.” They don’t remember me. No peer called me up and said “I’m sorry I thought you were stupid in high school.” I can’t even remember their face or name. No old employer sent me an email and said “wow, I’m so impressed you did this and I thought you couldn’t.” Because they replaced me a week later.

No one actually cares what you’re doing. No one is thinking about you. No ex, no old high-school bullies, no old teachers and no old-employers. Revenge is the worst reason to do anything in this life. It’s not for you, it’s for a scenario that no longer exists.

So how do we know what we want to do and for the right reasons?
It’s not revenge. It’s not money. It’s not the algorithm.

It’s the voices my friend. What do you think about when you drift off to sleep? When you’re sitting alone without any distractions? What keeps you up at night?

That’s the path you should follow. Not one of fame, fortune or to prove that you can.

What keep me up at night? My stories. Characters, worlds, words. Sometimes, these essays. That’s my path. One for me. And there’s one for you too.

“We become what we think about.” — Earl Nightingale

It can get so cloudy in our world. A fog from everyone else. Opinions or little videos showing you a better life than you have. It’s all nonsense. It’s not real and if you follow the path that someone told you to follow or one that you think will get you recognition or closure, it will leave you empty.

Give yourself time to breathe. To sit with who you really are and what you really want. Stop the external information and validation. You don’t actually want it. You don’t want 100,000s of followers or revenge on an old teacher. What you actually want is to follow your passion. For you and no one else. So log-off the socials and stop ruminating on people that have hurt you.

The voices will come back. Listen to them and action what your heart, not your head tells you.

PCS

If someone handed you a ready-made million dollar business or a finished hyperrealism painting or a 100,000 word novel and told you to put your name on it and pretend you did it, would you?

You might… if you’re a sell out or a phony or maybe… you’re just a regular, normal person. Who’s to say? I can’t. But what I can guarantee is that you’ll probably feel pretty shit about it after the dust settles. Why? Because it wasn’t real. You didn’t do anything. And deep down you know that too.

Say, you decide to never work again, your brain will change its baseline—doing nothing becomes the default. And pretty quickly that joy from doing nothing doesn’t feel good anymore. It’s vanished.

Okay, how about eating chocolate pudding. Is it tastier if you eat it everyday or once in a while?

If you sat on the couch for a week doing no exercise, does it feel good? Or does it feel better to relax after you’ve been on a run or to the gym?

In Daoism, basically, good cannot exist without bad. There is no light without dark. Good and bad exist together and only together. They don’t fight. They are back and front. Two sides of a coin. Or more commonly known as, ying and yang.

You cannot feel good without sometimes feeling bad.

When people see some things as beautiful, other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good, other things become bad.
Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
— Laozi, Daodejing

Have you ever gotten to the end of the day and felt… useless? I have. On days where I have done nothing; no work, no chores, no exercise. And sitting on the couch after a day like that feels… restless.

But on the days where I have worked out, done chores and had a productive work day, sitting on the couch feels incredible.

Why? Because you can’t have reward when there has been no work.

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Right now, we live in a world of quick dopamine. Little videos are more addictive than slot machines, LLMs produce work that feels like we’ve done something, instant food delivery, Amazon next day service… Each of these things gives us a reward but it’s all a facade. It’s gone instantly. And that’s why we keep reaching for more. More more moreee. But its just a taste of dopamine. Its fake pleasure.

Those days where you plan something feels good doesn’t it? News flash. You’ve done nothing. How about when you tell someone about your plans? Also feels good yeah? That’s fake dopamine too. You’ve done nothing.

Buying the counterfeit bag instead of saving for a real one. Getting the BBL instead of hitting the gym for 2 years. You’ve gotten the thing, but does it even feel good?

There are all quick fixes to almost everything you want in life. But it’s not like… real. And that’s why the dopamine wears off so quickly. It was fake happiness. A fake thrill. Fake pleasure. And that’s why you’re feeling useless after a day of these conveniences.

Just like plugging a leaking bathtub with chewing gum, the dopamine you get from a quick fix won’t last. Faux pleasure is quick hits. No real results. No real outcome. It’s gone quickly.

Real pleasure is a slow-release. It’s felt after running a marathon you’ve trained months for. It’s the feeling of finishing that hyper-realism painting or that 100,000 novel. It’s felt after a journey of hard work. That’s real and that’s what you should seek.

I think our world is at a standstill. It’s confused. It’s hurting. And it’s looking in the complete wrong direction. We’re looking for optimisation, convenience, answers, reasons why we are the way we are, 15-minutes of fame.

I’ve been there. Living dopamine hit to dopamine hit. Scrolling. Planning. Doing nothing because I thought that was the end goal—to make passive income enough to not work. To have no chores. To have no purpose. And it destroyed me (for a while).

Now, I yearn for a life on a farm—life like the “old” days. Maybe you do too. Why? Because there is purpose there. It’s hard work with a list of daily tasks that have to be done or the farm will perish. Animals need to be fed. Plants need to be tended to. Crops need to be sown. There is work and there is reward. But we’ve forgotten.

We’ve forgotten that you need to run around so laying down feels good.
We’ve forgotten there must be bad for there to be good.
We’ve forgotten there must be ying with yang.

We’ve forgotten why we do things.

How good does that post-gym meal taste?
How good does it feel to finish an essay you’ve written all by yourself?
How good does it feel to bake from scratch?
How good does it feel to clean your whole house?

It’s rewarding because you worked for it.

And it’s something I’ve (and maybe you’ve) forgotten about lately.

It might feel like you don’t want to do the journey, the process or the hard work. But you actually do. You really do. I think we’ve just forgotten what it feels like to feel real dopamine.

Rewards are not real when you’ve done nothing for them.
Do something real to feel something real.

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PCS

Success means different things for different people. A nice house, fancy car, maybe a large investments account. Or for some, success can mean a roof over their head or a stable job.

Your own version of success can vary throughout different stages of your life. At 16 your version of success might be losing your virginity. At 21 it might mean becoming a millionaire. At 35 it might mean becoming a parent.

For me, my version of success has changed drastically over the years. At one stage it meant being rich and flying business class. Now… its almost the opposite. I want a slow, quiet life. But both of these versions have meant sacrifice.

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There’s a trainer at the gym I go to and his body is absolutely insane. He looks like Goku from Dragon Ball Z—like he’s not even real. It feels like he’s at the gym 24/7 because whenever I go—morning, evening, middle of the day, he’s always there. He’s either training and filming himself, training others, eating his perfectly weighed out chicken and rice, or if it’s 4pm, he has his daily nap on the couch at the front.

Now in-between my own sets at the gym, I look around. I’m an observant kind of person. Yes, I agree you shouldn’t stare at people but I do... sue me.

So Goku films himself on his phone and I assume he has a social media following for his insane physique. And in between filming his sets, he scrolls. I can see clearly what he’s scrolling, but so can the whole gym because his phone is on a tripod.

And what he’s scrolling my friend, without fail, is food videos. In between each 100kg set of whatever he’s lifting, he’s looking at food.

This guy is starvinggggg. He’s starving to look as good as he does.

And that… that is just pure sacrifice. He can’t eat all the things he’s looking at. He’s torturing himself. Why? Because he would rather look insane. Because he understands that he cannot have everything. He cannot have cake and look how he does.

Now I will note, this is his livelihood and I truly believe you don’t need to be extremely good looking unless someone is paying you for it. Like next time you’re guilty about eating a cupcake, just remember Bella Hadid gets paid to not eat cupcakes. Do you? Didn’t think so. So don’t feel so bad about the cupcake. Goku probably gets paid from views and people thinking they can look like him if they hire him to train them— and maybe they can.

This is sacrifice. Goku, like Bella Hadid, knows you can’t have everything. And you should know this too. Noone truly has it all. Something has always got to give. But that’s your decision to make.

In this life, you have to choose what’s important to you and majority of the time, you can’t have everything.

If you want to have a 100k per month business, fly business class everywhere and be surrounded by women—you’ll have no time for anything else. No real relationships, no family life, no hobbies, no free time. That’s sacrifice.

If you want to be an olympic athlete, you have to sacrifice everything else for that. No hobbies, minimal social life, getting up at 5am to train. Eating clean. It’s sacrifice again.

Career and family takes sacrifice.
Building a small business takes sacrifice.
Being ripped takes sacrifice.
Living off-grid takes sacrifice.
Having freedom takes sacrifice.

And you have to make sure you know what’s important to you to make those sacrifices.

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When we first started Boring Studios, our creative studio in March of 2023, we sacrificed our entire lives to make it work. No social life, no buying anything, no Netflix, no holidays, no takeout. It was 6-7 days a week of 5am wakeups, 12 hour work days, hustling, marketing, client acquisition, building a brand, building back-end systems—building a real small business. And after 9 months, it became fruitful.

After the foundations were built, the huge sacrifices could be pushed-back a bit. But for the next 2 years it was still hard work to hit our financial goals. Well… the financial goals of what we thought was a good amount of money to be making, for the world to deem us “successful.” And now 3 years on, I wouldn’t make those sacrifices again. Because 10k weeks mean nothing to me now. I’d rather be making less (a lot less for the record) and have my freedom.

During this era, when I kept saying no to social events, one of my friends said to me “life isn’t all about money.” And I laughed. I was like “of course it is.” But turns out, she was right.

Now success to me means having the time to do what I love; to write, to dance, to spend time with my boyfriend and friends. But that means I can’t make 10k weeks. And I have to be okay with that.

You have to choose what success looks like to you. Just like Goku can’t eat cupcakes, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

But deciding what is important to you means your version of success will always be happiness. And that should be your goal. Not money. Not status. Not looking like you’re happy. Just actual happiness.

Success isn’t gold-plated for the world to see. It’s internal. It’s a feeling. Success is actually just happiness and you can decide what that means to you.

Don’t let the world choose your version of success. All versions will take sacrifice. Choose wisely. Do you want the cupcake or do you want the ripped body? Both are someone’s version of success. But what’s yours?

PCS

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Anyway, the cinema was packed right. I was so confused. I usually put my bags on the seat, take my shoes off and cosy up in an empty cinema alone (or with my boyfriend Eden). But I couldn’t. I had people to the left of me, to the right of me, behind me, in front of me wow. And as I watched this movie with a bunch of people I didn’t know, I could feel the community around me. I know… sounds so silly right. But it’s not. We all enjoyed our movie together. We all consumed this piece of art together. And what I walked away with after this movie was not what I was expecting to walk away with…

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So most people will be looking at Disclosure Day as a fun (actually it’s quite sad) take on aliens. And it’s incredible. Spielberg can do no wrong in my books. I have a realism E.T tattoo on my arm and on the other arm—a Gremlin, a movie where Spielberg was executive producer… To top it off, every essay and presentation I did when I studied film was of a Spielberg movie—so you could say… I’m a super fan of Spielberg.

Disclosure Day has a feeling of nostalgia about it. The lighting always feels natural with a script that matches. There’s always questions or thoughts to ponder on after a Spielberg—Not like plot holes but things that are omitted on purpose. Anyway, the movie also shows something that could happen and also possibly… what has happened. I won’t ruin it for you but it’s spectacular. Now, I’m not a conspiracy theorist but I think it’s pretty unrealistic to think we’re alone in the universes. But what I really took away from Disclosure Day is the fact that the aliens would want nothing to do with the human race. We’re so primitive but not for the reasons you think.

There’s a quote from one of the characters Hugo that says humans have no empathy and that’s why the aliens aren’t coming. Wait… here’s the actual quote:

“Empathy is something we all have, and we all have it when we were children, and we lose it in this cynical world. And I think the idea for us to advance is to find that again, to find that human connection, because that’s the only way for us to really exist and find harmony within ourselves and with each other.”

And it’s true. We have no empathy as a whole species. And it’s keeping us stuck in a way that’s halting our evolution. Nothing is happening. Our technology advancement is so slow and we’re just building things to make us stupider instead of finding ways to physically evolve so we don’t need things. We’re all stuck in this wheel of capitalism that’s quite literally keeping us stuck in the dark ages.

I’m embarrassed for us. If I was an alien, I wouldn’t come here either. We have nothing to offer them and we literally hate each other. Without spoiling the movie, the film does go deep into themes of empathy and community and how we show the aliens none—just like how we show our own species none.

I think it’s dangerous not to have empathy and it’s fucking showing. Society is cracking at the seams for years now, decades, centuries. Since our existence. And eventually it’s going to burst and all the aliens will say to each other “what a shame they couldn’t evolve with the rest of us.”

So what even is empathy? It’s putting yourself in someone else’s position. Seeing from their point of view—not necessarily agreeing with it but allowing them the space to have their own opinion. I think it’s something that has been so lost on our species. We judge. We cast out. We ostracise. We think our way is the best way. But who’s to decide? Who gets to make the call of what is right and what is wrong?

It’s harder to make that decision when the facts are grey or blurred. Because some things come from a feeling. For example, my friend recently started Ozempic and for me personally it’s never crossed my mind to take a peptide. Not because I don’t have days where I think I could lose a few pounds—but because it’s just not something that aligns with me. I focus on eating enough to train and wake up energised. So when she told me I instantly judged her.

In my mind, I was like why not just exercise and eat less if you want to lose weight? But then I stopped myself. I put myself into her position. I don’t know what’s going through her head on a day to day basis. Food noise or being fed up. I cleared my head and allowed her the space to make that decision without judgement. Without my own personal experiences being pushed onto her. Because I am not her. I had empathy for her situation even though I don’t understand it.

And this is where we lack as a society. In all decisions we make. Gender rights. Female rights. Human rights. We never actually feel any empathy towards anyone. We struggle to see an opinion that differs from our own, we have tunnel vision. We are all allergic to being wrong.

Why? Because our society has stripped it from us. There’s a little video of a war torn country then the next is an ad for Uber eats. So we become hungry and then the war is forgotten. Back to ourselves. The world has become how we can be better. Optimisation of living forever. Of money. Of ourselves. But if we looked to our neighbours more, we might find a world we actually want to live in. A world where people are actually equal. A world where aliens want to visit because we are evolved.

So maybe no one is right or wrong and maybe we just have to try and understand people where they are at.

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Other than the cinema, another moment where I felt empathy and community this week was in ballet class. Even though I used to train 30+ hours a week (close to 10 years ago now)—my brain can’t comprehend as quickly anymore because I’m not used to it (yet). I was struggling to learn the combo and another student went out of her way to help me. She doesn’t know me or owe me anything but she saw I couldn’t remember a part. Then another student in class watched me go over the combo after the first student helped me. So someone helped me and then I helped someone else by proxy. It was such a beautiful moment of community. Of empathy.

To be part of a community, you have to show that you’re willing to play your part. Show kindness. Help people where you can. Teach what you know without asking for anything in return. Help older people in public. Watch for little kids’ safety. Show some empathy for people who have differing opinions to you. Put yourself in someone else’s position and see from their perspective. Treat thy neighbour how you would want to be treated (I think that’s a famous quote from someone).

I’m realising how much we need community. I felt it when we started Boring Studios and had no business or really creative friends to talk to. We built that community and it was so spectacular to have people to talk to about creativity and business and how the two can coexist. But if we never chose to help other creatives get out of bad agencies, then we never would have helped 60k+ creatives with what we know. That’s real community. Sharing real knowledge and thinking about the receiver. The circle of empathy. So if you’re trying to build your own community, think about why? Think with empathy. Imagine how many people you could help with what you know? When it’s real, it works. Some people might just need a little guidance to release their full potential and you could be that little bit of guidance. And then they pass that on to someone else. That is real community.

The importance of community is more important now than ever. So have a bit more empathy towards people. And maybe in this lifetime we will be able to travel through space with the aliens. It all starts with one person. So let’s stop being such primitive humans. I want to meet the aliens and they’re only going to come if they have a reason to believe we’re not a shitty species.

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PCS

No one knows what they want anymore because the grass is forever greener. There’s always a new trend, a new concept, a new way to optimise… there’s always something new to have and to hold until death do us part. We think the trend is the one, then a new shiny trend comes along so we divorce the first trend and then quickly replace it with the new one. We’re just sluts for trends.

And it’s seemingly never ending... We go from one end of the spectrum to the other. The pendulum is always swinging.

And guess what? According to philosophers René Girard and Schopenhauer, the will to want something never really goes away. It’s just replaced with the next thing. This can be as small as a pair of shoes or a whole new career path.

René Girard (1923) basically says—we want something because someone else has it and then when you get it, you realise you don’t really want it. Cute. How annoying.

Schopenhauer in 1788— yes in 1788—Our issues never really change, hey? Evolution where?— So he basically says—when we want something, it’s because we feel we are lacking and then when we get it, the satisfaction is fleeting and we fall into boredom. Also annoying and basically the same thing.

So we’re just monkeys walking around with a bit less hair, copying what the other monkey’s are doing and then realising actually, no I don’t like bananas–fuck, now I have so many bananas.

This is what’s happened and happening and will forever happen. And there’s not much you can do about it unless you’re aware of it and have strong foundations/cornerstones to keep you grounded in yourself.

Don’t fret. I too am a little sheep in the wheel of capitalism. Lining up for TikTok hyped food stores, becoming a digital nomad because the lifestyle looked cool and just like everyone starting an online business and content creation in like 2022, I too listened to Bartlet’s podcasts about business and optimisation. Some topics met me where I was at at the time but maybe I would feel differently if I listened now.

I’m a malleable person, which I thought would go away when my frontal lope developed. But maybe the need to try new things never will. I’m just a curious person I guess and that is beautiful and I’ll live a million lives and forever be creative. But it can also be a dangerous thing. My life may never be my own if I’m not careful.

I’ve realised, I do like trends but apparently so does everyone else—we’re just monkeys remember? And we want to be included—not “left” behind. I think it’s fun and good and nice to discover new things and try them—truly. I also think trends can tell us what we don’t like too but maybe we have to try it before we know. I don’t regret becoming a digital nomad. I don’t regret lining up for Flippers in Tokyo for 2 hours for some pancakes. But I am also happy not being influenced by the next wave of whatever’s coming—or at least trying not to be. Right now, I want to be left behind.

They will always be telling us we HAVE to do this. We HAVE to do that. But in fact, you don’t have to do anything. Everyone telling you or influencing you that you’ll be left behind is just trying to make a buck.

And that’s where we come back to foundations—your values, your cornerstones. Your true likes and true tastes. And being strong enough to defend them when the time comes—mostly to yourself. I’m lucky enough to know what I like now, which I think comes after your messy 20s and in my case—isolating myself for a couple of years to put things into perspective. Now, I’ve got my values that I run through when making personal decisions. I have my own business that I built and can develop as I please (with my biz partner Eden ofc). On a smaller scale, I’ve got my preferences that I run through when I order food or buy a piece of clothing. Because for me, true freedom looks a lot like silence from external sources.

Life is easier when you have your own guidebook that you made for yourself. You’ve got your own grass and you can water it instead of looking over your neighbour’s fence and seeing that their grass is greener. Because here’s a secret, it’s probably not even real grass.

So as the wellness industry collapses and the pursuit of optimisation ends, I predict this new era will be a bit more hedonistic. Maybe it will be the collapse of trends all together. Possibly, people will start to dance like they used to and Berlin will become a party capital again. Maybe people will start drinking again or stop going to therapy, and maybe… just maybe we will stop trying to be at our ultimate peak or fully “optimised”.

Or maybe I’m just getting old and I’m tired of the trends. But right now all I know is that someone will always be telling us something is better. Maybe it is, maybe it’s not and it’s up to you whether you want to try it or not. Not because you HAVE to or some guy on a podcast told you to. Understand that advice often has a motive behind it; money from a capitalist or even advice from a friend’s projected jealousy or fear. Capitalism isn’t going anywhere–every industry is in it to make their fortune.

All I know is that the pendulum will keep swinging and if you don’t jump on this new wave, don’t worry, there’s another one just over the horizon. But don’t be fooled when the next wave feels like a must. It’s up to you to look away from the pendulum before you get motion sick.

Be strong in what you like and what you do because there will be a new trend tomorrow coming for the lifestyle you were told was the ultimate one just yesterday.

XX

P

So the Monday just past, I woke up dreading the day. Not because I had a particularly bad day ahead, I didn’t at all. On paper, it was a good day—write my novel, a bit of Boring Studios work, gym, burger bowls for dinner, play Stardew Valley… But when I woke up, all I wanted to do was watch TV. I was tired, cranky. And well I bet you’re surprised to hear that I did just that.

I made a coffee and put on The Pursuit of Jade, letting my mood level out. I succumbed to my desires, despite having a schedule and routine I wanted to adhere to. Then after an episode or so, breakfast and two coffees, at around 9-10am, I got on with my day as planned. I wrote a chapter of my novel, did a bit of work and went to the gym. I didn’t let my bad mood ruin my whole day—only the morning, in a sense. I allowed myself to be in a bad mood and slowly, it turned into a better mood. Sometimes we need to listen to bodies and rest, even if it means wasting your precious Monday morning with something “unproductive”.

I remember a time when starting my day with scrolling little videos was normal and it would ruin my entire day. It would slowly cook my brain and transport me back to my default settings of being a chimp. Then I would not be able to think or do anything for the rest of the day. It actually makes me feel a bit sick to think about it… And yes, if I started my day with my phone now, it would probably be the same. But I would never allow such a thing nor do I have the apps on my phone to even warrant the possibility.

Also back then, even if I had chosen the lesser evils of starting my day with TV or an enticing book, I’d be like “oh well, day’s ruined—better ruin the whole day and be a chimp.” This was also when I had a “real” 9-5 with an employer so I’d log on to the work laptop and pretend to work—occasionally keeping the screen on or pressing buttons, ticking stuff off—I don’t even know what I used to do when I was employed. And those days would be gone in a flash. I’d feel bad about my life but I’d still rinse and repeat, waking up feeling shit again and again—allowing myself to ruin everyday just because I had woken up feeling a bit shit. I didn’t understand how to shift the mood or change the tone of the day. I had no tools or knowledge.

Now, I don’t put that pressure on myself. Your morning sets your nervous system up and sometimes it needs a cold plunge and sometimes it needs an hour of TV to regulate. Just… for the love of god… don’t scroll—or look at your phone first thing or add urgency or panic. Then you’re fucked, and nothing—not this article or yourself can regulate a day from a panicked morning. Well… not easily. You might have to do that cold plunge after all.

But the day doesn’t have to be gone if the morning is “wasted.” If I wake up and feel shit and want to watch an episode of The Pursuit of Jade with my morning coffee at 7am, who gives a fuck–I do it. And 95% of the time, I’ll get on with my day as normal.

But here’s the kicker… If I wake up and want to do that a second day, then we have a problem. That’s when we start to build a bad habit. Waking up and watching TV everyday is not something I want to do—it doesn’t align with who I want to be.

So on Tuesday, yep you guessed it, I wanted to chimp again upon waking. But this time I didn’t allow it. And here’s where it’s important to have your own tools to kick your mood into gear. Because the mood shouldn’t decide our day, we can.

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So how did I change my mood on Tuesday to not chimp all day?

I wanted to watch The Pursuit of Jade again. But I didn’t. I had a shower and got dressed for the day in an outside outfit, not trackpants or pjs—an important way to let your brain know the day has started and we’re not chimping around. Then I got a huge glass of warm water and sat outside to journal. Yes, groundbreaking… journaling. I bet you’ve never heard that before.

Although I hadn’t journalled in a long time—months, maybe a year, I sat down in the morning light and wrote down why I was feeling so shitty. No prompts, no bullshit gratitude… just a stream of consciousness to clear my mind of everything I needed to get out. And it wasn’t even anything crazy. Turns out I just had a lot of small things that were stressing me out and I needed to see on paper to understand. You don’t need to hear my dirty laundry but literally some of the things were to go to the bookstore and re-pot a plant that had outgrown his pot. But other things I wrote included feeling frustrated in not having enough socialising last week or that I was drinking too much coffee and that’s why I was waking up tired. And sometimes journaling can turn into poems, stories or prose inspired by feelings or even people watching. There’s no rules. I just write. And every time, without fail, I feel better.

Journaling—and writing in general—doesn’t need to be this big la-di-da event. You don’t need prompts to tell you how to think—you know how to think. You don’t need to write down everything you’re grateful for—you’re not a monk and God’s not coming down to smite you if you’re not appreciating the roof over your head daily*. And you don’t need a routine or a schedule or a reason to write.

*God I am so grateful for my life. Thank you. Genuinely, please don’t smite me for my ungrateful behaviour in this piece.

Journalling is best done with no pressure, no expectations and no fkn uploading to the world that you’re journaling—okay, this article doesn’t count—I just mean don’t buy some aesthetic pens and leather books or spend money on a “journal set-up” that you think you need. You don’t need to post about it either—this can add pressure to your journalling which should be for you. But also I’m not the posting police, post your cute aesthetic journalling photo if it makes you happy.

Sometimes your brain just needs to know you’re listening. And that’s as simple as sitting down—in the morning or whenever you need—and letting your consciousness stream.

Writing has saved my life more times than I could count. In small moments where I needed clarity or large moments where I needed someone to listen but had no one. It centres you. Grounds you. It’s your brain saying “hello friend, thanks for listening to me today, you’re okay.”

In times of need, turn to your pen—you might find the answers you’re looking for waiting to come out.

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This week I got a blood test. Not because anything was particularly wrong but because Eden, my boyfriend, was getting a genetic test done. So like the little sheep I am following my boyfriend around, he shepherded me into the Bangkok Hospital to accompany him and I thought why not also check how I could be even more optimal in life. Because isn’t that what life’s all about? Reaching our optimal, genetic peaks? Or is life just about feeling good all the time?

At the moment I sit somewhere in-between Bryan Johnson and Kramer. But I have found myself at both extreme ends of the living forever→living like there’s no tomorrow spectrum, throughout different eras of my life.

I live a little… but also know when to reel it in.

So back to the blood test—this wasn’t my first blood test nor would it be my last, but just like every other blood test before it, the same thing happened—it’s like clockwork… every time I enter any form of medical space…

As soon as I smell that hospital-grade cleanliness, see the gurneys, people in wheelchairs, nurses and doctors, take a ticket or see the waiting room—the world begins to slow and speed up at the same time. I can see a fly from 10 metres away, I can hear someone’s conversation three rooms away. I note all exits, touch nothing. The fluorescent lights begin to rain down on me. I get dizzy—like death is near. And my brain thinks it’s my death…from a blood test.

My body flushes with heat—fear, anxiety. I know blood tests don’t hurt and nothing has ever gone even remotely wrong while getting a blood test. Even though this was my 50th (give or take) time getting one, I still…can’t… not cry.

So we head to reception and she gives me (and Eden) a patient wristband and tells us where to go. We walk through the different areas of the hospital and my impending doom begins to form into actual doom as we get closer and closer to phlebotomy. No tears yet. I get my number and sit with the other 15 people ready to get their blood taken too—young and old.

My number is called and it’s my turn. My phlebotomist is a young man with earbuds in. I get an extra ping of anxiety. Is it better than he’s young? Steady hands? Newer knowledge? Or bad that’s he’s maybe listening to a podcast and not listening if something goes wrong? I sit down in the plastic chair and pass him my sheet so he knows how much blood to take. He asks me to check my name. It’s right—not that I even looked.

I tell him I’m scared and that I would like the baby needle because I bruise easily. I know it takes longer, but i don’t care. He agreed and we chose the arm with the biggest veins visible—a trick I have learnt for minimal bruising to occur—because if I see a bruise over the days following the blood test, it will take me right back to that phlebotomy room. Yes… I know that’s not normal.

So I look away from the phlebotomist and let him do his thing and I know what’s coming. The tears. I feel my body heat up as the flush rises from my toes up to my head. As soon as the phlebotomist places that antiseptic wipe on my skin I begin to ball my eyes out… albeit quietly, but my entire face is wet within seconds. There’s a few older ladies in the room which weirdly make me feel better—getting a blood test in front of others waiting, especially women, like they are my mothers for that moment. They give me soft smiles and nods to let me know it’s okay… And within like 30 seconds it’s done and the bandaid is on. It’s over and I’m off to get some form of sweet treat to curb my dizziness.

Anyway, enough about me and my undiagnosed, unreasonable and unexplainable medical trauma. Why do I put myself through this? I quite literally didn’t even need to. I’m healthy and feel 100%. I’ll tell you why… Because I am brave.

Penelope, you literally cried the whole time.

Yeah but crying isn’t lacking bravery. Crying is just fear. And fear and bravery can coexist—In fact, they must co-exist, because you can’t be brave without fear. Bravery without fear is just not being scared.

Bravery is not the absence of fear. It’s being scared and doing it anyway. I’m scared of a lot of things—I was scared to quit my stable, well-paid senior role in corporate. I was scared to start a business with 10k savings between me and my business partner. I was scared to move across the world and start a new life in Bangkok.

I’m scared all the fkn time—to get on a motorbike, to get on planes, to tell someone how I feel.

But I do it and get through it (most of the time). I’m not Irena Sendler brave, who rescued around 2,500 Jewish children. Or David who chose to fight Goliath from the bible brave.

But on a smaller level, I am brave. And just like David chose to fight and not run away from Goliath, your choice to be brave is the same—a choice between yes, I’ll face this fear and come out the other side better or no I’ll just be scared and do nothing and wonder “what if?”

Bravery is just a choice like choosing between chicken or fish.

You’ll always be scared in this life. Of small things like riding the rollercoaster or getting a blood test. Or big things like getting an operation or moving across the world to a country where you don’t speak the language.

The choice is yours whether you decide to be scared and say no or to be scared and say yes.

Make fear your companion. It’s not something you should run from. Welcome fear because without it, you can never be brave.

Love,
Penelope
Writer, Brave

Yes, sure, if capitalism didn’t exist and we lived in a village where we had a range of mediocre skills to trade for goods and services. Then, being a jack of all trades might be good. But alas, we do not, we live in now, and being a jack of all trades makes you…watered-down. A bit soggy.

Being a master of 100 trades though… now that’s a bit more fun isn’t it?

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As a jack of all trades, no one thinks you’re good enough, focused enough or serious enough about the 100 things you’re offering. And they’re probably right. You’re probably shit at the 100 things you’re trying to do—especially if you’re doing them all at the same time. You look… average and no one trusts you.

Like Old Gil from the Simpsons who job hops every episode and sucks at all of them. Or like a 20 year old trying to be a life coach. No one trusts you.

Trying to be a jack of all trades is like being a teaspoon of butter for a whole loaf of bread—spread so thin you can barely see it.

But being a master of 100 trades is like a tablespoon of butter on each piece of bread. You can see it, feel it and taste it. It’s obvious.

So the entire quote reads: A jack of all trades is a master of none, oftentimes better than a master of one. In 1618 when this quote was first documented, it might have been true. Everyone kind of needed to be good at everything or at least to fill in the gaps in the village. Like the only doctor died so the blacksmith became one, ya know.

In 1618 I would have been trading my weaving skills for oysters and shepherding on the weekends in exchange for peaches because my husband died from the bubonic plague and left me with 15 children at the ripe old age of 25. Glamorous.

But in 2026, I wouldn’t trust a doctor who’s also my blacksmith. Would you?

A mechanic who’s also a baker, is probably not an expert at either. And personally, I wouldn’t trust them to bake my birthday cake or fix my car. But if they were a mechanic who used to be a baker for 10 years, I might still trust them to bake me a cake. Because their focus has shifted, not been spread thinly.

Wanting to learn and try new things is a good thing— it keeps you on your toes and makes life way more interesting and mentally-documentable. As a dopamine seeker, I get it and I live a pretty hedonistic life in terms of just up and doing what I want—I encourage it.

I also believe in the new structure Millennials and Gen Z have built and are building to chop down the traditional 9-5—working for the same company for 30 years and then retirement. That shit can truly fuck right off.

So please, if you want to, have 30 careers in your life. Do it. Be a mechanic and then a baker. But here’s the kicker—don’t do it at the same time.

You can only do one thing well, at one time.

You can do everything in this life. You just have to do them one at a time.

Right now I’m working on my first novel. It’s middle-grade sci-fi and I’m at about 20,000 words. It’s absolutely, fabulously fun and puts me in a flow state for hours.

I’ve been writing since I was three and that’s not an exaggeration. I still have my first story, illustrated and all, written before I started kindergarten, titled: The Easter Bunny Who Ran Out of Eggs. And even after that genius (if I do say so myself) first story, I’ve got boxes full of short stories, essays and poetry from my whole life.

I always knew I was a writer but it took me this long (I just turned 33) to actually focus on it. Why? I thought I needed to be a writer/business owner/ designer/ journalist/ dancer/seamstress/painter and so I spread myself across a bunch of things for years, instead of honing in on writing. And when focus is spread so thinly, none of it will be fruitful.

I never thought it was cool enough, good enough, visual enough, exciting enough… to be just a writer.

Now, being just a writer has made me the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. Focusing on one thing that I truly love and offering it my whole attention has given me a real purpose to get up every morning.

Finding your truest passion can take years even if it was there all along. It can be found in trying new things, meeting new people and I guess… “wasting” a bit of time. I’m grateful I found mine at 33. And I know in the scheme of life, that’s still very young. It’s the perfect time for me and my unique life trajectory. And maybe I’ll find another true passion at 60 or another 10 along the way to 120 years old. In fact, I plan to live at least 10 more lives of true passions because there’s so many things I want to do and master.

You might find your passion at 20 or at 55. And those are both perfect times too. The perfect time doesn’t exist. There is only now.

So even if you’re 18 or 75, the time before and after were, and will be spent on other crafts, skills, careers and general “wasted” life. All of this “wasted” time gives experience. And as a writer, creative or human, that’s the most important part of living—experience. You won’t take your paintings to the grave, but you will take your experiences with you.

Even if I had started this novel at 21 instead of going into journalism, social media, owning a fashion brand, auditioning for broadway, working in corporate, starting Boring Studios… and living at least 20 lives before this one, it would be a completely different story, because I’m a completely different person. And that’s my life trajectory. It’s my journey and maybe if I had of done one thing differently, I wouldn’t be starting this novel or writing this exact story.

How beautiful that we all have different life journeys. Don’t get drawn from your path because someone else’s looks better. You might just end up walking in circles. The grass is rarely greener.

Stay offline because it’s confusing your taste and what you truly want

It can be so beautiful to live through other people. A guy sailing-around the world for instance. I’d never do that, nor would I want to, but how cool that he is sharing that with the world.

Watching people’s lives online doesn’t necessarily make you jealous because you want that life, I think it just confuses you about what you truly want. Social media is designed to flood your brain and when you watch too much, of course you’re confused about what you want to do. There’s so many options for careers, skills and even which cafe to eat at—and they all look pretty darn cool—because the system is designed that way. To make you want.want.want.

I think social media gives us a chance to see into the endless professions and possibilities the world has to offer. It’s like career day in high school where they bring in a bunch of people to talk about what they do, to see if you’d be interested in it. But then the day ends and theres only like 10 choices to think about.

Social media shows us 100s of different career paths from fire-person to OF creator. Some look more glamorous and are celebrated more than others. But we never see the whole picture of their lives or the entire process of their craft.

And often on social media, the most viewed are just average people positioning their lives as better than yours, literally through… consumerism. Social medias are just ad platforms—specifically not Substack, but the rest are just trying to sell you something—whether it’s a product, a place or purely just purchasing your attention through views. How wild that the most valuable currency in 2026 is attention? But it’s more valuable than you think and you’re just giving it away for free only to confuse and cloud your brain? C’mon you’re better than that.

I won’t lie to you, I scroll for a few minutes about once a week. But I try to view and follow people who inspire me through their crafts, skills, ideas… not their day in the life where they literally do nothing but get matcha and go to pilates. I promise you, that life is boring as shit and those people would be an absolute wet blanket over dinner. Do you want to be like that? No you don’t. You want to be layered and interesting and interested in having conversations.

You probably wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t an interesting or interested person. So don’t be clouded by this nonsense like I have been before. I lived that “soft-life” and it’s fkn boring long-term and burnt me out to a crisp by having no purpose. Now that I’m chronically offline, my real interests shine through and I wake up daily excited to write, not to be a boring sod.

Oh and I forgot to mention the time you will save getting off the scroll. Go on check your screen time in your phone settings. I’ll wait…

Yikes.

How do you focus 100% on just one thing?

Okay so I said one thing at a time right? That was kind of the crux of this piece.

I can’t be a writer, a seamstress and a painter all at once. Not only because I don’t have the passion, or the time, but because I don’t have the brain capacity to do all things greatly, at once. And why would I want to do three things averagely? Ew.

You truly only have so much brain space, even for creating. Yes, the more creativity you give yourself, the more you have, I do believe that is true. But you can only focus your energies so much. There’s only 16 hours in the day and you have to eat, bathe, do chores, do work that makes money. So being a painter, seamstress and writer is just not physically possible.

Don’t spread yourself too thin like that butter from the intro. You’ll produce average work. Do one thing at a time and do it well. If there’s multiple things you want to do in this life, just do them one by one.

For me, the next five years will be (hopefully) purely writing. And then there are other things I want to do in life—things I want to do now but I know they will need to have my full-attention, just like my writing does. They can wait and that’s okay.

When we started Boring Studios in 2023 as a creative studio, it had my 100% full attention. How? No socialising, no Netflix, no other projects, limited hobbies and definitely not trying to make a novel-writing career happen. I lost a lot, but gained so much more in the long run.

Now, I’ve stopped everything that isn’t writing—except one day a week working on Boring Studios, which includes this newsletter. Has the business side taken a hit? Abso-fkn-lutely. But that’s the price I am paying to focus on my goals. My focus has shifted, it’s not going to be spread.

You have to make sacrifices to 100% focus. Whether that’s removing socialising and all expenses to churn through your first-home-deposit savings or quitting your job and moving into your grandma’s to make your dreams possible. You can’t have everything all at once.

You can’t have one foot keeping an old door ajar while you’re reaching for the next one.

Don’t be scared to close doors and start from nothing. I’ve been at complete zero twice in my life so it doesn’t scare me anymore. If my novel completely flops, I’ll move onto the next thing. Life can always be re-built, like a phoenix from ashes.

I am grateful that I have the opportunity to focus on writing a novel and I understand that most people don’t. It’s not making me any money right now, but my business that took 3.5 years of 100% attention is.

Like all new ventures started in your 20s without daddy’s-money, Boring Studios began with no money, no clients, no investors and no real business plan. But we believed in it and gave it our 100% attention for months before we made even one dollar. The cash would ebb-and-flow, like all businesses do, until it finally reached a place where it was stable. Why? Because it got 100% attention. And I hope for the months/years that my novel is making no money, eventually the 100% of my attention will be fruitful. I am counting on it… No, I’m betting on it because I know I’m giving it my all. If it fails, I’ll just move onto the next thing with 100%. Because I’m not a fkn baby.

I will give my writing 100% instead of 50% business, 50% novel. Both would be shit. Too many things at once means you’re not giving 100% to anything. And why would you want to do that?

As Yoda says “Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.” He’s saying there’s no point “trying” something, just give it your all, that’s doing.

So my friend, what I’m saying is that you have to be all in on your goals. You have to believe in what you’re making. Fall in love with the process and your purpose.

What gets you out of bed?

That’s your purpose.

For me, the fact that I get to write everyday gets me up. I’m excited to see my characters—to build their world. To get into a flow state that makes everything I am, and have experienced up until now truly make sense. But if I was focusing on other things, those things would pull me out of the flow state of my world— instead I have chosen to live inside my novel.

Find your daily words or the paint under your nails. It’s cliche but, believe in yourself. Believe in your work. Believe that your purpose is bigger than money, than glamour, than status, than showing off. Believe that your purpose is bigger than you and find that purpose in your daily flow state—whatever it is that you’ve chosen or fought to finally come out.

I’m glad I’ve decided writing is a cool enough career to have chosen. Even if you can’t see a visually glamorised version of it through little videos. And I’m glad I’ve decided to focus on it. But if I was still dabbling in painting, sewing or working full-time on Boring Studios, I’d have no story written. I’d be doing everything half-baked.

Writing is all I want to do right now and even though it took me years to try a million different things to figure it out, I’d rather be spending my days in a flow state than trying to put on a show to prove to everyone (and myself) that I can do everything, all at once. I can’t. But I can do everything I want in this life, it needs to be just one thing at a time.

Love Penelope,
Currently full-time writer, future art gallery-owner, future photographer, future teacher, future mother.

So this exhibition is being held in a large building with lots of mini galleries. And usually I’d go visit as many as possible in this exact building or any other building that allowed me to view art—especially, but not limited to, them being free exhibitions. So there was five more free exhibitions to visit after the Monster Museum, but I opted not to view them. Why Penelope? You love art. Yes, that I do. But in light of my new less is more value, we opted to skip all other exhibitions and saw just the one exhibition which was hard because I am an art feign.

Okay, so you want me to get to the why right? Why did we skip all the other exhibitions?

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Well, it’s simple really. I wanted to sit with FahFah’s work. Not five more exhibitions. Not even one more. Just one exhibition to really ponder on the artist’s thoughts, her feelings and her art for hours…days.

And I’ve been doing this in all aspects of my life lately. Sitting with ideas, thoughts and absorbing knowledge more. I want to take everything in wholly, rather than take in 100 watered down things.

Living like this for the past couple of months has given me time to enjoy my life more. My head is clear and my ideas and insights are more thorough. I’m not trying to know everything, to see everything or to read 100 books just to tell someone about it. I’m truly starting to understand what living in the moment means. It just means slowing down. Choosing one and taking it all in or giving it your all.

Less is more because how can you truly enjoy something when it’s constantly clouded and forgotten by a many other things?

You only need to read three insightful newsletters a day, not 10. Watch one episode of a show per day, not five. Reading one book a fortnight, not four. One absolutely marvellous cake is better than five not-so tasty ones, isn’t it?

And the dreaded little videos; I actually had a three month break from Instagram but I am back on it, giving myself 5 pieces of content to view/read and ponder per day. I choose wisely.

For me, less is more—to sit with ideas, insights, knowledge and to also have the brain capacity to action the things I want to. For the over-consumption to be truly turned into enjoyment or learning—the less you consume, the better.

And what has come from living like this? Well, for starters I can hear myself think. I have written 10,000 words of a novel and taken on a new hobby of conceptual photography. I really feel like I am entering a new era of living. Like I’m now living in the real world that I wasn’t in for so long.

Art, media, writing—all of this content is so marvellous and creatives should be celebrated and enjoyed as much as possible—but when there’s too much of it, you’re not taking in any of it. What a waste of such beautiful talent; your own and others.

So I implore you to do the same with your days. Limit all your media consumption; books, movies, television shows, poetry, art and content. Not to zero, but to an amount that means you’ve thought about the ideas in what you’re consuming. Treat your everyday consumption like you would a special trip to the theatre that you paid $400 a ticket for.

Don’t count how many books you’ve read this year. Absorb them instead. Rather than watching Netflix aimlessly everyday, make a list of movies you want to watch or go to the cinema once a week, grab a spoon and eat up the art of the film with zest. Take it in. Less is more my friend.

Life is going too quickly and you haven’t had a second to catch your breath because you’re trying to take on more than you need. Focus on one thing at a time.

Remove the fomo from your life because that fear of not reading enough books or seeing enough countries or doing enough in this life is taking away from the things you’re actually doing. It’s too much to take in.

Adopt this practice in all aspects of your life; projects, day-to-day, morning coffee, newsletters, work, hobbies, skills, art, media. You’ll start to take in your life more. You’ll notice the details.

Because you don’t need to go to 10 galleries in a day. Go to one and sit with it for days.

Slow down. Take a breath. Choose one thing today.

And tomorrow, or the next day, you just might start to hear the birds sing again.

Love Penelope,

Co-founder of Boring Studios, Writer, taking it all in

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So being back home has been lovely and chaotic at the same time.

It’s been beautiful to see our old home with fresh eyes, take in the autumn (fall) leaves and see our family who we’ve been missing for 2+ years.

But also chaotic to have a full calendar and to have no time to ourselves and for our goals. I haven’t been going to the gym, I haven’t been writing or working and my whole very-beloved routine is out the window. And I feeeeeel the repercussions of it… deeply. I’m exhausted with no inspiration for my work and my head is constantly racing.

And maybe that’s happening to you? Maybe you’ve got too much in your life, so there’s no room for you—for your goals or for any inspiration to make it’s way in. Maybe you’re blocking it with people.

This week has taken me back to a younger version of myself. She was so confused why she never had time to herself or why her goals could never be reached.

A time I enjoyed… but looking back… maybe I didn’t. Or at a least looking back, it is a time I don’t wish to re-live.

So 19-26 year-old Penelope was a young woman who had 100s of friends. I’d like to say that’s an exaggeration but my close circle was 30+ people for the majority of this time. Now this version of me had goals and aspirations like writing a novel, being a professional dancer and running a successful fashion brand. And I started all of them, but never to the best of my ability. I never had the time or effort to put into them and I thought that was just how it was. I chose socialising over my goals. My entire existence was centred around socialising.

Yeah it’s fun to party in your 20s, go to social events and (some) people are fabulous companions and conversationalists. But maybe you don’t need as much of it as you think. Instead of every night, maybe once a fortnight would have been enough. Maybe instead of 30 close friends, just two would have been enough.

Let’s fast forward a couple of years later to when we started Boring Studios—social events and people were no longer priority. All I thought about was my goals and how I could reach them. I’d fall asleep to my ideas and what I was doing tomorrow. I no longer was thinking about what’s on for the weekend, how to round up 10 people to go on vacation with or thinking about a friend’s problem I could help fix.

Okay, so it sounds selfish right? It’s not nice to just focus on yourself and not have others to think about. It’s also a privilege to not have anyone that relies on you.

It’s healthy to have friends and be close to your family, but one thing I’ve noticed in people who reach their goals—whether it’s gym goals, business goals, art goals or writing goals—it’s that they don’t have a lot of friends or people in their lives. They focus on themselves. And this is your sign that you’re allowed to as well.

Look, I’m not saying throw out all your responsibilities and move to the other side of the world like I did (although I do recommend it if you can). But if you can stop taking on people’s problems and lives as your own, you’ll have more brain capacity for the things that are important to you.

If there’s people in your life who aren’t making you feel good when you hang out with them, maybe don’t hang out with them. If your entire life is just socialising, like mine was and you’re not reaching your goals, then try and cut back on the social life. You might find your brain clearer with time to think, to create and to be inspired.

I know it can be important to socialise and there’s nothing more beautiful than having people around you who understand and love you. I’m grateful for those in my life that I have. But I need nothing more. And sometimes, like this week and in my past life, too much socialising can be detrimental to your goals.

Because sometimes what you really need in life is less, not more.

Today, I have 3 close friends that I truly care and think about and my three siblings. That’s enough for me. And maybe I needed this trip back to Australia to realise it—to appreciate how peaceful my life is and how much time I have to focus on myself and my goals.

I have one more week here in Australia and I’m looking forward to the plans I have with people I haven’t seen in years, but I’m glad i don’t live this life full-time anymore.

So maybe take a look at your calendar and make sure there’s room to breathe; to think, to work on your goals; time for YOU. It’s more important than you think.

Love,
Penelope

Co-Founder of Boring Studios, Tired-extrovert

One thing that stuck out in these conversations is that we were impressed by things we knew nothing about. People who had sword skills, morse code, wilderness navigation by stars, people who read dictionaries, scientists, people who had been on broadway…

Now as a kid, you’re impressed by things you don’t know about and that’s a great thing to be. It’s inspiring, you create idols and mentors and become curious in learning. But it can be taken too far. The impressiveness can create a divide between you and that person.

Why are we usually impressed? Because things can feel unobtainable.

It feels like:
“wow I can’t believe you did that. I could never.”

When it should be:
“That’s cool. How can I try that?”

Being impressed to a level of goals feeling unobtainable is doing you no favours as an adult.

In 2026 we can see what everyone’s doing. Celebrities doing what I eat in a day, house tours and Instagram stories to see what they’re up to. The mystery of celebrity has disappeared. We know so much about everyone and everything and that veil has been lifted—the line between famous and regular people has been blurred and becoming a “celebrity” is easier now than ever. You just have to find an audience, tell a story/show your talent and post videos on social media for a while.

Is it note-worthy to have drive, talent, discipline and creativity? Yes absolutely, but anyone can do it. Just like anything else in this life, anyone can do anything. You just have to take the steps to get there. And once you realise that, your goals aren’t so big and people achieving goals aren’t so impressive.

I think my choice of words is poor—”impressive” might be the wrong word. You should still congratulate, appreciate and be wowed by people hitting their goals or having cool skills. But... just remove the pedestal from them. They built that pedestal themselves and that means you can build your own too. And maybe your pedestal looks a bit different to theirs—better even, more you.

Taking inspiration from people is important and being interested or fascinated by someone else is an enjoyable feeling. There’s nothing I love more than hearing someone speak about something they are truly passionate about. I love to learn and ask questions. But if someone is telling me about something I would like to try or achieve, I’ll find out how-to do it from them or I’ll do my own research.

I think this piece is also about jealousy. Get rid of it. If you’re feeling sad when you see someone else hitting goals you want, it means you don’t think you can have or achieve that thing. And that puts that person on a pedestal and you below them. They’re not any more special than you. They just took the steps and actioned the thing to get to where they are. Turn that feeling into action. Next time you feel jealous or insecure hearing or seeing something, it means you want that thing. Go get it. Research, put in a plan and action it.

Gym goals, business, drawing, meditation, knitting, handstands, singing, dancing, acting, cooking, writing, building a social media… Every goal requires the same structure—adding it into your routine. And naturally, you get better.

So I want you to stop being impressed by people because they’re just people, like you. Be curious and excited by people and their achievements. But never, for one second, think that they are better than you or that you can’t have what they have.

Because let me tell you a secret… there’s no ready-made pedestals—everyone starts at zero.

Love,
Penelope

Co-Founder of Boring Studios, Building my own pedestal

So why did we do this? Honestly, I’m constantly looking for “inner peace” to quieten my forever buzzing brain. I think for people like us, we need quiet, downtime, grounding… a lot. Sometimes I find it in meditation, but I often find it easier when I push myself to physical limits.

Okay, so why am I telling you this? Because when I was on this hike I didn’t find inner peace. I found something even greater.

If you’ve been reading these for a while, you might remember this quote:

“We work the problems one by one. We do what’s in front of us. And we do the next thing”

It’s from The Meg 2… Not the greatest or worst movie I’ve ever seen but this one quote has apparently stuck with me up until now, maybe forever.

This quote essentially is saying focus on the first step and worry about the other things after. And that’s exactly how I felt on this hike. It was just one foot in front of the other. That was my only thought, my only worry, my only care in the world was getting through this hike.

I didn’t have any distractions, no phone, no reception, no people (other than Eden and our guide)—and I had no idea where I was going or even what time it was. It gave me perspective to really zoom out on life. Why are we constantly worrying about so much stuff? Why aren’t we just focusing on what’s in front of us?

The hike stripped me back to bare necessities. Water, food, shelter, companionship. Life can be filled with just too much unnecessary stuff. It’s okay to take a step back sometimes and ask yourself, does this really matter? Because most of the time, it really doesn’t matter.

We’re just little people on a big floating rock in a giant universe. And all you need to be doing is just one foot in front of the other. That’s enough. Tackle the problem in front of you, even if that’s just one step today.

When your perspective shifts from I need this, I need that to—the only thing I need is water, you realise your problems aren’t so huge in the scheme of things. But to solve your problems or reach your goals, you need to take action.

Maybe the first step is simply to drink some water to keep going. But you need to start taking the steps (literally and figuratively). Because you’ll never reach the top of the mountain if you stay sitting at the bottom.

That first decision to move is hard.

Then the first steps are easy.
But each step up the mountain becomes harder.

Even though it gets harder, each step is more familiar and easier to tackle. Because all you need is just one foot in front of the other.
And before you know it, you’re at the top of the mountain.

But you need to take that first step to keep going.

And you might need to drink water first.

Love,
Penelope
Co-Founder of Boring Studios, taking steps

A doer is simply someone who does what they say they will do. Someone who makes life happen.

And a bystander is someone who never acts on what they want. They let life happen to them.

*If someone falls into the doer category, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are always a doer or only a doer. And if someone falls into the bystander category, it doesn’t mean they never action things.

A doer sees a path, a dream or a goal they want to achieve and they take the steps to get there. They figure out how to get the life they want and they act on it.

• Wants to lose weight → researches nutrition, signs up for the gym, tracks their meals

• Hates their job → updates their resume, applies to new roles, builds new skills

• Wants to start a business → validates the idea, saves money, takes the first step

A bystander has a dream or a goal but says “it’s too hard” and continues to complain about it instead.

• Wants to lose weight → complains about being out of shape but never changes their diet or routine

• Hates their job → talks about quitting for years but never updates their resume

• Wants to start a business → says “I’d do it but I don’t have the money/time/connections”

Sound familiar? Did this hit a bit too close to home? Well good. Because you know who gets what they want in life? It’s obvious. The doers.

I’ve been both a bystander and a doer.

I was in a job for 9 months that I knew I needed to quit on day one. But I also quit a different job and started a business after only a couple of conversations about it.

I did a full university course that I felt wasn’t going to get me anywhere. But then I also started a Masters course and quit after 2 weeks knowing it wasn’t for me.

Now I always do what I say I’m going to do and I take action on the things I want to do. Why? Because I know life is too short to sit and dream or to do things constantly that make us unhappy. I’m always moving, doing.

I also have the skills to figure out the steps I need to make my goals a reality. So how do you become a doer?

The first thing is admitting you’re a bystander.

Is there something you’ve been complaining about for years that you haven’t changed? Yeah… sounds like you’re letting life happen to you. But every excuse has a workaround if you want it badly enough.

Take ownership of your life

No one is coming to give you what you want. The sooner you realise that, the sooner you can start to craft the life you actually want. You can’t continue to blame your environment, circumstances or “bad luck”. But surrounding yourself with other doers will shape your behaviour in a good way.

Start before you’re ready
Doers don’t wait for the perfect moment, they start without all the answers and figure it out along the way. Doers don’t wait for motivation because they know action is worth more.

Be stronger in your decisions

Don’t live in decision paralysis because any decision is better than no decision. Done is better than perfect most of the time and any momentum is still momentum, even if it’s the wrong direction. Read last week’s Boring Issues on how to be more decisive.

Planning is key

Break down what you want into smaller actionable tasks. There’s no way to know how to reach your goal without a plan. You can’t just say “I’m going to start a business” and a business appears.

Instead, ask yourself “what’s the one thing I can do today that gets me closer to this goal?” You need the process, not the outcome. Make a list and tick them off day-by-day. Each day you’re closer to your end goal.

Good things take time. Months, years. Not instantly. And a doer understands that the end goal is in daily habits.

Don’t be a bystander to your own life, saying “It’s too hard.” or “I’ll start tomorrow.”

Be a doer or be content with settling on watching others achieve the life you want.

Love,
Penelope

Co-Founder of Boring Studios, doing-stuff

Why did it take so long to choose and you’re still not happy?

There are big decisions and there are small decisions in life.

Will you be having the chicken or the fish?
Small decision.

Will you elope with me and move across the country?
Big decision.

Whether the decision is big or small doesn’t determine how easy it is to make.

Maybe your dinner choice was harder than deciding to elope.

There are moments of certainty and instant decisions when you’re sure of what you want and the right thing to do. And then there are moments of uncertainty, resulting in indecision.

But indecision itself is a decision. You’re choosing not to decide.

You’re scared to make the wrong decision and I get it. Sometimes it should have been the chicken and not the fish. But it’s not your last meal (hopefully)...

Indecision costs you valuable time and energy that could be used elsewhere. It’s a hassle. Like the chicken and fish example, indecision can be mentally straining on your quality of life.

So how do we remove, or at least reduce these moments of indecision?

Let’s delve into how to be more decisive.

Reps
Just like everything else in this life, the more you do something, the less scary it becomes. So the more decisions you make quickly, the easier it will become. Good enough decisions are always better than indecision. Trust your first instinct, it’s usually right.

Removing choice
I preach having a routine. The less little decisions you have to make, the better. Things like planning your work and personal life for the week leaves room for important decisions. Meals prepped (or planned), outfits ready for the week, work tasks ready in your planner to be actioned, weekend plans ready (even if it’s gaming and takeout, it’s planned).

Waking up in a bad mood can also make decisions harder. Routine helps.

Live by values
Every decision goes through your values. My values for 2026 are Honesty, Creativity, Kindness, Courage. If I have to make a decision that impacts my life, they run through these values and I’ll decide accordingly.

For smaller decisions, your values could be goals. For example, if your goal is gains at the gym and you’re out for dinner, you’ll be looking at a high protein option. For Eden, as soon as we sit down at a restaurant, without fail, he will order chicken.

Knowing who you want to be and what you like usually helps for these kinds of decisions. So be strong in your goals and tastes.

Does it even matter?

Like the chicken and fish example, it really doesn’t matter. Your life isn’t going to change with either choice.

When you’re making a decision, ask yourself will this matter next week? In a year? In five? The answer is usually no. Take away the weight these decisions hold over you.

If you have truly life changing decisions to make, talk it out with a couple of people you trust (and who understand your goals). Or make a trusty pros and cons list. That’s the best way to nut out a big decision – zoom out and see the bigger picture and what is really important to you.

Know when you shouldn’t decide

Sometimes your brain has had enough for the day. The most successful people know when they’re not in a state of mind to make decisions. The Hormozis don’t make company decisions after 4pm. Have a similar rule and don’t make big decisions that could destroy something you’ve built on a whim. Sleep on it.

When you’re in a pinch
Flip a coin; heads or tails for small, quick decisions. This often reveals what you truly want by your reaction. Are you disappointed by heads? Relieved by tails? Go with your gut or just with what the coin gives you. Either options gives you an answer to go with.

Don’t live in decision paralysis.
Any decision is better than no decision.
So decide to decide.

With love,
Penelope

Basically, the essay went throughout this person’s day choosing the long, romantic options for each part.

Waking up without an alarm.
Making filter drip coffee instead of a capsule.
Walking instead of catching the train or bus.
Making porridge on the stove instead of instant oats.

Ahhh even reading this slow list is making me calm, imagining doing these things.

Anyway, it made me realise how much I (and maybe you) also feel the need to rush through everything.

We’re constantly on a timer, a ticking clock, an alarm system.

When and why did life become let’s fit as much as possible in?

Should we take the long route sometimes?

I think many of us are rushing through life. Trying to fit in everything all at once.

100 little videos a day.
8 hours of work that doesn’t fulfil us.
Two episodes of a show each night.
Quick dinner.
Capsule coffee.

It’s exhausting. And it’s normal to be exhausted from this life that is deemed… normal.

So what’s the solution?

I think it seems obvious… slow down… but how?

A quick dinner is all that’s possible after a long 8 hour day.

There’s no time in the morning to make coffee other than the capsule.
The only way to get through the day is by scrolling.

I understand.
I’ve lived it.
And even when you work for yourself rushing through the day is normal.

I think what I’ll be doing is finding the moments where I can go slow.
Moments for myself that don’t have a timer.

A hot bath after work instead of Netflix.
A walk to a cafe on the weekends to read a book.

Putting on music to cook and enjoying the process rather than rushing through it. Snacking along the way and preparing with the intention of nourishing myself.

Choosing a movie with purpose that you’ve been dying to watch instead of watching whatever Netflix suggests.

Working your way through a novel for a couple of weeks and sitting with the ideas instead of churning through it just to tick off that you’ve read it.

Meeting with a friend that’s filled with sunshine for a slow walk on the beach.

Finding any moment you can to slow down in this life and trying your best to absorb what’s around you.

Life is meant to be slow. Absorbed. Lived.

So next time you feel like you’re falling behind in the race, remember there’s actually no fucking race.

With love,
Penelope

The things people fear most about the unknown, failure, rejection, starting over, are usually the things that produce the best outcomes.

There’s a quote that goes something like this…

Courage is being scared and doing the thing anyway.

So should you jump off the side of a cliff if you’re scared?
Yes and no.

There’s rational fear and there’s irrational fear in life.

Rational fear could be jumping off a cliff without a safety net or knowing how deep the water is. Or being face to face with a lion.

It’s rational because you might die or be seriously injured through plain old common sense.

Then irrational fear is more like imposter syndrome or the unknown. Or being scared to order a sandwich through room service or make a doctor’s appointment or just answering your phone in general.

These could be from a previous bad experience, something you picked up as a child or a new experience giving you the fear of the unknown.

You’re scared but nothing bad is going to happen, so it’s irrational.

The funny thing is, our brain and bodies can rarely tell the difference between this rational and irrational fear.

So how can we?

It’s hard to alter your brain on things like fear, especially when many of our fears are so deeply rooted in us.

You feed the brain logic but it doesn’t bite. Your brain is like nope I’m about to be eaten by a lion but really all that’s happened is your phone has received a call you don’t want to answer.

How to face your fears?

Fear is something I began to tackle head-on in my mid twenties. Maybe because I was bored or maybe “self-destructive”.

I quit jobs that weren’t serving me, ended friendships and relationships that were holding me back and said yes to experiences that literally made my body shake in fear. I wanted to know “what if?”

Today I am constantly faced with fear of the unknown, fear of the new and fear that I’ll make the wrong decisions.

And sometimes those decisions are met with consequences or bad outcomes.

But whether the outcome is good or bad, these decisions are always met with growth, new opportunities and knowledge.

Realistically, you don’t necessarily get better at battling the fear. You simply become more comfortable with the fear sitting by your side. It becomes a companion, a sign of growth nearing.

You just get better at tolerating uncertainty.

Things like making decisions with incomplete information or accepting that you may not get it right.

Basically, battling fear or using courage looks like trusting your ability to handle whatever comes, rather than needing to know what’s coming.

So this week, I’m battling the fear of the unknown because I’ve started a new chapter in my life (focusing on writing a book and writing personal essays on Substack 3 days a week).

And it’s so scary.

It’s as scary as when Eden and I quit our jobs with no money or clients to start Boring Studios.

It’s as scary as moving across the world with no friends or idea what was next.

It’s as scary as auditioning for a broadway musical with no experience.

It’s as scary as your first day of school…

So right now, I’m full of fear like a lion is coming to eat me.

Fear of this new chapter. Of the unknown…

What if no one likes my stories?

What if everyone thinks it’s silly?

What if I can’t find the words?

What if I’m a bad writer?

What if…

But the what if is just that; an empty space of unknownness ready to be filled. Filled with good or bad… but waiting to be filled regardless.

So I’ve given you no tools to battle this have I?

Well what I’m doing to battle my fear is understanding that it is irrational.

The worst thing that can happen is I enjoy the writing and no one likes my books.

And I won’t die if no one likes my stories.

I’ll focus on the task of writing.

I’ll fill that void of the unknown because if you never face your fears, you’ll forever be asking yourself what if?

Penelope
Co-Founder of Boring Studios, Future Published Author

109 isn’t much, is it?

Umm… yes it is.

Imagine 109 people telling you they enjoyed something you made IRL.

Imagine just one or two people giving you a compliment IRL?
It would honestly make my day.

Celebrate your milestones and achievements.
Be proud of even the smallest success or growth.

Don’t dilute that smile my friend.
Any progress is still progress.

Today, I’m not here to boast about the subscribers – the number is not the point.

I’m here to tell you why this growth is important.

So we’ve been posting sporadically on Substack for about a year.
I never really thought much of the platform.
I was just posting for the sake of it.

And nothing grew (obviously).

In the last month or so, I’ve really started to enjoy Substack.
I read, I engage and I post notes most days.

And guess what?
Behind the scenes, it’s been growing just naturally, organically.

Why? How?

Firstly because I am using the platform in a way it’s supposed to be used.

I engage and enjoy the content. I reply to comments, I post comments.

And that’s the best way to grow any social media.
Just be social. Ironic isn’t it?

Anyway, the other reason it’s growing is because I am consistently posting.

Every week I upload these Boring Issues.
And most days I post a note or graphic.

Simple really.
You don’t need a huge roadmap to build on social media.
Just engage, use it and enjoy the journey.

Like most things worth having, results don’t show up right away.
They take time.

And you don’t see it or hear about it.

No one talks about the weeks where nothing moves because that’s not sexy is it?

It’s much easier to talk about the final success.

But what you’re not seeing is the consistency.
The enjoyment of the process and the journey.
The behind the scenes tiny tasks.

So we’ve got 109 subscribers today.

And in a month’s time it will have grown.
And then in another month it will have grown again.

Just like the goals you’ve set out for yourself, all it takes is a little bit of consistency and time.

Then before you know it, you’ll have built, grown or created something.

If you miss a day, it doesn’t matter.
If you miss a few days, it might.

That’s consistency.
It’s not always perfect.
But you have to show up again and again.

Because 1% progress is better than 0%

Progress > perfection.

You’ve got this.

Love,
Penelope

Some are scammers and some are telling the truth.

How to tell the difference?
Use common sense mostly.

If there is a 20 year old telling you they are a life coach.
They’re obviously not, because realistically they have 2 years of life experience.

But forget about the scammers for now.
Let’s talk about the real experts selling you their advice and tools.

What they’re telling you is the truth; their life experiences, tools, processes and systems are what got them to where they are.

But the ultimate truth in what they’re selling is that it’s their dream, not yours.

And realistically, you’re just procrastinating on your own dream.

Let me explain…

Experts and specialists have spent their lives building, learning and perfecting their craft and skill.

How?

Probably through a mix of learning; from more experienced experts, books, podcasts, tools, courses, guides… but also through life experiences.

These experts and specialists can give you the tools, advice and process for their expertise. But they can never give you that valuable life experience.

I call myself an expert at marketing and SME because I have spent over 15 years doing it.

I started my very first business at 14 years old.
Marketing, clients, finances, audience building all from scratch.

Since then I’ve worked with founders, start-ups and started four other businesses.

So as an expert in marketing, freelancing and SME, I can tell you what to do from what I’ve learnt.

Things like how to land clients, create leads and build an audience.

But I can’t do it for you.

You need to apply that action.
You need to add your own experience and your own twist to it.

I can give you the tools to be able to follow my process of finding and taking care of clients, but I can’t run your business for you.

Eventually you need to put down the experts and actually just do the thing.

The crux of this piece isn’t to ignore experts.

You should listen to them to learn and expand on your skills.

But you should know when you’ve learnt enough.

Sometimes it’s time to stop with the external learning and tools, it’s time to just take action.

If you’re forever spending your time gathering information and planning, you’ll never take action.

Stop procrastinating on doing the thing.

Why not take the leap into what you’ve been learning about?

Don’t become someone who watched everyone else live out their dreams while you didn’t even try yours.

Love,
Penelope

Co-Founder of Boring Studios, Writer, Do-er