After 26 years of zealous participation, this is year 2 of my indefinite hiatus from Burning Man. I’m not feeling FOMO…but I am experiencing grief.

If we are new friends, you may not know how significant Burning Man was in my life.

• I was uploading videos about the 10 Principles before YouTube existed.

• I was an official contributor to the Burning Man blog.

• I was invited to The Burning Man staff retreat at Esalen.

• I was featured prominently in the 1st Burning Man video to go viral, the brilliant, “Oh The Places You’ll Go,” by Teddy Sanders.

Over 20+ years, I’ve made 243 Burning Man-related videos.

If you typed in “How to ____ Burning Man…” at any point between 2001 and 2020, you would almost certainly see my pink-haired mug show up in your search results.

That meant that many people got to know me during their Pre-Burn online research. In a city of 70,000 people, a solid percentage would recognize me. Other than founder Larry Harvey, I was one of the more well-known Burners.

Which meant that, for 1 week a year, I was kinda “famous.”

It was a surreal experience and I loved it.

After spending all year staring into a webcam, alone, in my bedroom making content, I got to meet the 10,000s of people who had received my transmissions. I put a lot of love into those videos, and it deeply nourished my soul to meet appreciative new Burners - and receive love in return.

It was also a massive ego boost. I was recognized everywhere. I rarely waited in lines. I was invited to all the things and people made me exquisite & hilarious gifts.

The highest praise was when my image would be made into a meme.

The one exception being the year of COVID cancellation. I publicly echoed the BORG’s request: “Do NOT go to the Black Rock Desert this year” and that did NOT go over with some people. Someone distributed 1000s of stickers showing a screenshot of me crying with the words, “I TOLD THEM NOT TO GO TO PLAYA”

I had made that photo public because I was trying to normalize male tears. But I was furious that their “joke” might be seen as confirmation to some men that it is unsafe to show emotion. 😡

Because my special star treatment was only for a week, I LOVED it. (Maybe too much.)

For the remaining 51 weeks a year, I was able to shop, eat, and pump gas without recognition.

I try to imagine what it would be like to be a legit famous person - being recognized and approached by strangers year round - and it sounds terrifying.

But, boy did I enjoy the shower of appreciation I felt every year in Black Rock City.

In 2023, Lisa and I went to the Burn together, after dating for just 3 months.

My 1983 Hugmobile broke down on the way, per usual. Then the roof leaked terribly during the Mudpocalypse rain. Witnessing Lisa deal with all that (and me) confirmed that she was my person.

But it was a hoot to hear her impressions of what it was like to be with me at Burning Man.

“18 seconds,” she would often say with a laugh.
“We can only walk for 18 seconds before someone yells ‘HALCYON!’ and stops us.”

In the following months, as our love grew (and my sobriety strengthened), I felt less and less need for external validation. It’s one of the reasons I am taking a break from Burning Man. As much as I still love meeting people who are touched by my art, I don’t NEED it anymore.

Lately, I’m getting messages asking if I’ve watched the new HBO doc, “The Man Will Burn.”

I have not.

For the same reason I wouldn’t follow an ex’s Facebook feed after a breakup.

Even though I don’t want to get back together with them, I still miss them.

I also miss the purpose that Burning Man gave my life.
I miss the joy of Gifting and helping bring Pink Heart Camp to the Playa.

I’m also grieving my role as wisdom keeper.
I miss encouraging new Burners and un-jading old veterans.

I miss the joy of sharing expertise, advice, and comfort.
I miss the face-to-face reminders that I have value.

That isn’t to say I don’t feel respected in other areas of my life.
But I am noticing that I’m a bit more fragile without the anchoring role of “26 Year Veteran and Community Leader.”

Will I return to Black Rock City? I’m certain.

When will I return? I have no idea.

I am euphoric about this Second Act of my life, but I am mourning the parts of HALCYON PINK that are no longer on stage.

I ‘m going to print out these thoughts and send them with a friend to burn in the Temple this year.

If you are going, I hope you have the most nourishing time ever. Share a story with me when you return! My heart will (always) be with you in Black Rock City.

Love,
Halcyon

P.s. Please share my Burning Man Bootcamp and @BurnerPrep IG with campmates!

BONUS if you scrolled this far:

Photo of Burning Man CEO Marian Goodell writing “Halcyon Principle” on the white board during the all-staff retreat at Burning Man.

In essence, the Halcyon Principle is that Burning Man is not necessarily made better by BIGGER, BETTER art.

In fact, big, expensive art makes it less likely that regular folks will have their “I AM AN ARTIST!” epiphany.

I’m still proud of that moment.

Trisha, with tears in her eyes, gushed about the power of the music she experienced. “Your voices are so beautiful!” She looked to Lisa, then Tayler, then Sharon….
“Such beautiful voices…” she repeated the phrase as she scanned around the circle.

When she got to me, she looked directly into my eyes, “… Such beautiful personalities!”

The circle erupted in laughter.
It sounded like an insult i.e. “She’s not pretty, but she’s got a nice personality.”

But it wasn’t at all.
I got it.

She was experiencing me as part of the beauty.
My song is my being who I am.
My instruments are whimsy and warmth.
My unique vibration may not be musical, but it is still a beautiful addition to the symphony.

🩷💜💙

It reminded me of when I went to the fire flow festival, “Ignight” in 2015.

The best fire performers in the world gave workshops during the day and then everyone participated in a “flow jam” fire circle at night.

The flow jam was incredible. A few at a time, people dipped their poi, rope darts, gravity sticks, hoola hoops, WHATEVER into fuel and entered the center of the large circle. Everyone took their turns lighting their tools and playing (not performing) as DJs played.

I felt like an outsider.

Why was I at this event!?! I don’t do any flow arts.

Marvin Ong, one of the event’s organizers and mind blowing flow artist, had asked me to come give a talk. He had participated in past Hug Nations and we had a special connection.

So I drove out to their Joshua Tree gathering and delivered a workshop about gratitude, gifting, and my grandpa. I closed my talk by leading everyone in a massive cinnamon swirl hug.

But at night, when EVERYONE but me was participating in the fire flow arts, I felt like I didn’t belong.

Flow Artists are a beautiful, incredibly supportive community - I just wasn’t a part of it.

I remember beginners that night dropping their tools repeatedly and being cheered on by the supportive crowd. I remember the crowd going silent when people like Marvin demonstrated sublime mastery of the craft.

I watched and appreciated from the sidelines as an outsider. Then I heard some young people 10-15 feet behind me whispering.

“That’s Halcyon...he does Word Flow.”

And in an instant, my mind shifted and I could see that I did belong.

🩷💜💙

Too often the old, damaged parts of my mind take the wheel:

I’m not good enough. I don’t fit in. I’m not needed.

I focus on what I am NOT, instead of what I AM.

That is sooo unhealthy.

• Lebron James is NOT very good at bull riding.

• Jimmy Hendrix was NOT a great chess player.

• Einstein was NOT talented at skipping rope.

So much suffering can be avoided if we tell the right story.

Love,
-John
Word Flow Artist
Gratitude Evangelist
Kind Man

p.s. My new coloring book is available for purchase!
If you text me a photo of a colored-in page, I’ll refund you $3 via Venmo.

p.p.s. This weekend is 1st Saturdays in San Diego if you’d like to join me.

Since I started it a year ago, The Hug Monster Show has tried to ride, “The Muppet Line.”
Meaning: It’s entertainment made for kids, but has jokes hidden in it to make their parents laugh.

Full disclosure: My Muppet adoration has crossed the line into non-sanctioned collaborations.

The latest (unreleased) video is a response to 7 year old Ravi’s question, “Did you ever do anything ‘very stupid’ when you were a teenager?”

Hug Monster had a lot of fun with the answer, but a friend warned me that the 🥚chicken joke was “too much” for little ones.🐣
Since that friend does NOT have kids, I wanted to get some REAL parental feedback before I decide if the video should be made public.

If you have 76 seconds to watch it, I’d love to hear your vote:

👍 or 👎

ALSO…

Hug Monster loves answering questions from kids.
Video your kid asking a question and send it to me!

Hope your summer is filled with fuzzy friends and LOTS of syrup.

Love,
John & Hug Monster

I just got back from an otherworldly Alaskan cruise.

My only previous experience on a cruise was in 1989 right after high school graduation. My family took a Carnival Cruise to Cozumel, Grand Cayman, & Jamaica. As much as I enjoyed underage drinking in international waters, I’ve never felt called to return to the sea.

My negative association with cruises could be related to the lip-sync act my brother and I performed on the ship’s main stage talent show. The 1989 audience loved us. But…let’s just say that today’s Cancel Culture would NOT have approved.**

But there I was again. On a boat with my family.

When we were planning a family trip, the Holland America Alaska cruise checked all the boxes. It was nobody’s first choice, but it was an easy plug-&-play adventure.

With lots of excursions to pick from at each port, there was something interesting for everyone.

(NON)TROPICAL PARADISE

I had low expectations. I imagined the boat would be a floating version of an off-strip Reno casino: crowded, broken-down, & stewing with e-coli.
But everything - and everyone - was so nice! Short lines, friendly staff, delicious food, and the boat interiors were stylish & clean.

Our cabin room had floor to ceiling windows and a veranda, so we soaked up INCREDIBLE scenery. While at sea it was an infinite expanse of clouds, ocean and sky. As we approached the port of Juneau, there were dense forests and sporadic waterfalls on both sides of the ship. It looked like Hawaii…with snow & ice.

And the freakin’ wildlife!

From the boat I saw over 50 whales and 100+ otters*. On our last day at sea I even saw a pod of orcas. I didn’t realize the journey would be so dense with majestic creatures. (*These numbers don’t include the animals seen during land outings & port excursions on smaller boats.)

PRECIOUS TIME, TREASURED MOMENTS

The night before we left for the cruise, Lisa & I had a visit from a friend going through terrible loss. Thirty seconds after walking into our home, he received a call informing him that - in addition to everything else - his father just died.

It is hard to describe the feeling of respect & compassion I felt for this man. He was so authentic with his experience of shock, grief, anger, gratitude, and fear.

Holding space as he processed his father’s death, I was deeply in touch with how limited our time is with loved ones. And how precious the next week with my family would be.

During the cruise I was especially warm and affectionate with my parents. Often putting my arms around them as we looked out to the sea.

I’m at a place in my life where I really enjoy my mom and dad. The old triggers that used to ruffle my feathers rarely phase me. Or at least the bristling passes quickly.

That being said, being trapped on a boat together is a whole ‘nother level of forced proximity

As Ram Dass famously said, “If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family. “

But my heart was wide open and I remained blissed-out with gratitude.

I could see my mom and dad’s beauty with awe-inducing clarity.
I felt deep appreciation for my sister-in-law, Jen.
My heart beamed witnessing my nephews emerge as beautiful young men.
My spirit was tickled in a way only my brother’s hilarity can touch.
And it was magical to simply share space with Lisa in the middle of the ocean.

My old story around boats was that I have an aversion to being stuck with people. Forced to be anywhere without the option to leave makes me feel anxious. But last week I didn’t feel stuck at all. I could sense the physical separation from the default world… and felt peacefully disconnected.

Which made time with loved ones even more wonderful.

Each whale spout and porpoise fin felt like an exclamation point as the Universe repeatedly declared, “Hallelujah!”

Are there ethical issues with cruise ships? Yes.
Would I have enjoyed sharing a boat with strangers who overlapped with my interests more? Sure.

But I fell in love with Alaska and will treasure the family time forever.

Hope your summer is filled with magic moments.

Love,
John

** Since you read all the way to the end, I’ll share the shameful song we lip synched (and danced): “Fat Girl” by Easy E & NWA.

1st Saturdays fell on 4th of July this year.

It was also the day I had designated to gift $700 cash accumulated from my Patreon Supporters.

There were some logistics to figure out.

You can’t hand a person living on the street a bunch of cash in public.

Best case, everyone nearby will start yelling and asking for *their* money. Worst case, someone robs them the minute they are alone.

So I asked some of the regular clientele that I have relationships with if they would be willing to be in a YouTube video. I pulled them away from the crowd and asked them, “What is one thing good about America?”

I knew it would help my heart to hear perspectives from fellow Americans who have so little. After the interview, I discreetly gave them the monetary gift. It felt great.

By the end of the event (on behalf of my Patreon supporters) I had given away $100/each to 5 people and $200 to the man in the video below. (Earlier in the day I also sent $100 Zelle to a long-time subscriber to my newsletter who shared his current homeless situation.)**

I’m choosing not to share the majority of what I recorded. But here are a few beautiful highlights from the day.

**I know there is something less-than-tasteful about publicly sharing charitable giving. But I also think there is an important benefit to making Gifting more visible in our culture. If we had more reminders of generosity around us, I think we would give more. We get trapped in the warped mindset that GETTING more for ourselves is the way to feel better. The opposite is true.

1st Saturdays is in its 16th year of monthly events. We can always use your cash or gently used clothes. I’d love you to join us in person in San Diego with your presence and smile. More importantly, I encourage you to include acts of service - in any direction that calls you - as a part of your self care.

Happy 4th, dear friends.

Love,

John Halcyon

I don’t give any special perks to my patrons - at all.

Patreon is a way that people can support me in my work if they are inspired to do so.

A way for people to energetically say, “What you do has value.”

I currently receive $86 a month. THANK YOU to everyone who supports me!

A while back I decided that I would give my Patreon money to people in need during 1st Saturdays events.

But I forgot about it for many months.

Which means I now have over SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS to give away!

Should I give it all to one person? $100 to 7 people? $10 to 70?

I’m open to suggestions. (With extra weight given to my Patreon supporters.)

**Video is from a previous
Patreon-supported gift to “Bird Man.”**

I love you!!!

p.s. 1st Saturdays is 4th of July this weekend. It’s gonna be EXTRA awesome.

p.p.s. I’d love you to join us! Downtown San Diego, noon-1:45. You’ll be done in plenty of time to hit a 4th of July BBQ. Ping me for details.)

Charles Eisenstein said something in an interview this week that has fundamentally changed the way I’m looking at the future.

He doesn’t deny that the near future will be difficult. There is a likelihood of supply chain breakdown, loss of an electrical grid, food shortages, etc..

He talked of the actions one takes to prepare for an uncertain future like stockpile food, water, and tools. The next logical step is to buy a gun to protect these resources from others who might try to take them.

**NOTE: In the last month I have purchased a large water barrel and a two week supply of shelf-stable food. And after 55 years of vocal pacifism, I just signed up to take a gun safety class next month. **

Charles explains that this “prepping” is a reasonable path for an individual who is focussed on surviving. “People will die. I need to make sure I live.”

But that “me-focussed” worldview is the core problem of our current reality.

It highlights the spiritual separation that allows for the injustice, inequality and cruelty of humans in the world.

We want to evolve past the current reality, don’t we?

We dream of humanity anchored in unity and love.

But if we insist that our personal existence must survive - by any means necessary - then we are preserving and maintaining the old, broken reality.

If I believe I am more important than other people - then I am fighting to maintain a system of hierarchies and inequality. A worldview that can easily justify violence and oppression.

***

Charles didn’t say to sit back and wait for death.

He encouraged forward-thinking preparation - like gardening - as opposed to anchoring to the past (i.e. stockpiling processed, canned goods).

He encouraged holding a vision of hope as a possibility.

If I zoom out, I can see his wisdom.

And I can see how I got caught up in my ego’s need to survive.

(Falling in love with Lisa is what triggered the survival instinct. I was always at peace with not surviving an apocalypse. I only began stockpiling supplies recently when I started to feel the need to protect my beloved.)

I’ve been in a panic about the collapse of society.
At the same time feeling deeply upset about the state of society.

I don’t like the way it is AND I’m afraid of what is to come.

Hmmm. That sounds like a recipe for suffering.

To be clear: I don’t want additional hardship for anyone and I would love to enjoy my current lifestyle for as long as possible.

But I need to remember that the current system is not sustainable and is destroying the planet.
I need to remember that miracles are possible.
I need to remember that unfathomable beauty may lie ahead.

And I need to stop poisoning my Now with future fear.
(*see my previous post about River Rafting)

That being said I’m gonna keep my water barrel full…and probably still attend that gun safety class.

I love you.
-John

p.s. Hug Monster has been busy! Check out the latest videos.

Our Men’s Group’s rafting trip was planned for June 12–14.

Forecast in the closest city, Bakersfield, had an “EXTREME HEAT ADVISORY” with highs expected to be around 105. Lows only getting down to 75 at night.

I panicked.

Those were unacceptable camping conditions.

My last experience with temps like that was Burning Man 2022.

I almost died.

***

Burning Man 2022 was the hottest ever. There may have been some days in the last 25 years when the temp was higher, but there had never been so many 100+ days in a row.

The heat was relentless. Even the nights stayed warm. There was no opportunity for an overheated body to cool off.

The smart (and well-resourced) people that year slept during the day in AC-cooled RV’s. Then cruised around the Playa nearly naked til dawn in the 80+ degree nights.

My 1983, metal-walled RV had zero insulation and an under-powered AC unit that was woefully unequipped for the conditions. I was able to keep a tiny corner of my RV around 95 degrees while the rest of my sun-baked metal lingered between 115–117 during the day.

Thursday afternoon of Burn Week, I hit a wall of extreme exhaustion. With assistance, I staggered to the nearest medical tent. I had a negative COVID test and was diagnosed with simple dehydration. They filled my belly with electrolytes and sent me back to camp.

I chugged and chugged Gatorade, but got progressively weaker.

I got to a point where there was no way I could walk to a porto potty, so asked a campmate to bring a 5 gallon bucket to my bedside.

It occurred to me that if I got much worse, I would be unable to move.

I lay, motionless, in the “cooled” corner of my RV for hours. I could hear the laughter and activity of Burning Man outside the RV but felt totally disconnected.
I started to get scared.

As a 24 year veteran of Burning Man, I held a certain amount of respect in camp. I imagined a conversation in our camp kitchen:

“Has anyone seen Halcyon?”
“He’s still resting in his RV, I think.”
“Should we check on him?”
“Nah. He’s a pro. Let him be.”

As I cooked inside the Hugmobile, barely able to move, I realized… I could die.

What if I got to a point where I could no longer reach for my water bottle? If I lost consciousness, how long would I survive in the heat?

I pulled myself to a seated position and scrawled onto a piece of notebook paper:

“*CHECK ON HALCYON EVERY HOUR*
1:00pm ( pls. initial)

2:00

3:00

4:00

5:00…”

Etc.

I pulled myself to the front of my RV, through the heavy 117 degree air. I sat in the doorway until someone walked by. They posted the paper in the camp kitchen and I collapsed back into bed.

I drifted in and out for a couple days.

48 hours later, I felt slightly better. I was able to leave the RV (and visit a porto potty) but remained extremely fatigued and brain-fogged.

In Reno, post-event, I tested positive for COVID. I suspect that I had COVID the entire time.

***

The experience left its mark on me.

I can no longer think about Burning Man without a spike of anxiety around being too hot.

That residual PTSD is one of the reasons why I have stopped attending Burning Man (for now.)

Alas, my exaggerated fear of overheating flared up as soon as I saw the weather forecast for our rafting adventure.

I spent the week leading up to the trip in dread.

I pulled out all my old Burning Man anti-overheating tools.

Spray bottles, ice-packs, gel-filled neck scarf, battery-powered fan.

I lamented the loss of my old ice-vest. (Years ago, I spent nearly $200 on a cooling vest made for police officers or people who had to wear Furry mascot outfits on blazing summer days. It was covered in thin, little pockets that held Otter-pop sized frozen gel rods.)

I considered backing out.

But the cowardice of that choice was glaring.

Lisa was going to be out of town.

And skipping our once-a-year adventure could create distance between me and the rest of the guys. Male friendships in your 50’s are precious…it would be shameful to choose comfort over connection.

Steadily consuming iced drinks was another way I have kept my temperature down at past Burns. I considered driving myself to ensure there was room for me to bring my own cooler — but was grateful that Jasen had extra room for my gear in his van.

On departure day, I woke up early to drive my cooler to Jasen’s before heading to the meeting place of my carpool group.

5 minutes into the drive I realized that I was so freaked out about the heat that I didn’t even bring a sweatshirt or jacket. Or socks. I had to borrow clothes to avoid shivering during the luxurious, 5 hour, AC-cooled car ride.

***

The campground was hot.

Probably 10 degrees less than the forecast, but still oppressive when the sun beat directly on you.

Luckily, our campground had plenty of shade and there was a steady, beautiful breeze.

Our campground was right next to the crisp river, so cooling dips were close and easy.

The next day, we left for our rafting adventure before the morning sun cleared the trees that shaded us.

And the conditions on the river? Perfect.
Cool breeze off the water and lots of chances to get sprayed by the rapids (or our cagey guide).

Probably my favorite moments of the whole trip were during the calm parts of the day when our guide encouraged us to jump in and let the river carry us alongside the raft.

I heard one of the guys yell, “Float more! Steer less!”

The weekend was beautiful.

The time with brothers was precious.

The heat was never a problem.

But the most valuable part of the weekend was the opportunity to learn, once again, the futility of worry.

It is ridiculous to voluntarily experience suffering in anticipation of a *possible* future.

So wasteful! So unnecessary!

As Shakespere wrote, “A coward dies 1000 deaths, but a hero dies but once.”

On a macro level, I think we are all looking with some anxiety about an uncertain future.

So I am looking to my rafting experience as instructional.

Yes, prepare for adversity.

But do so without excess emotion.

Do not allow future fear to corrupt the present.

If there is discomfort to come, experience it when it is time.

But be cautious about making the *potential* for hardship become actual suffering through worrisome thoughts.

Of course, I’ve learned this lesson countless times before.

Hopefully I can more quickly return to this reminder the next time that rapids are up ahead.

I hope your summer is filled with inspiration and beauty!

I’d love to hear from you.

-John Halcyon

featuring Zan & Lisa

Two of my favorite people playing BEAUTIFUL music together!
How to see you there. (Tonight, Wed. June 3.)

Doors Open 6pm · Concert Starts 6:30pm

Del Mar Social · 3444 Tripp Ct, Ste. A2 · San Diego, CA

Hug Monster is becoming my favorite creative outlet.
Made for kids AND grownups. Average video is under a minute.

Come see!

I had a beautiful birthday week. Feeling SO blessed.

As grandpa would say, “My cup is overflowing and Im drinking from the saucer!”

LOVE YOU!
-John

And here’s Lisa’s choir message:

It’s time to sing again, good people!

After more than 12 years of leading Wholehearted, my enthusiasm only grows for this ancient yet revolutionary act of gathering and singing together.

​Wholehearted Chorus is much more than a choir. It’s a thriving community, a personal growth portal, an emotional metabolizer, a vocal activator, a spiritual alchemist and joyous playground.

Two weeks from today, on Wednesday, May 27th, Wholehearted Chorus kicks off our next concert season in San Diego, welcoming new singers of all ages, genders, and levels of experience. For five months we will marinate deeply with 16 songs that support embodied healing and insight around one question: “What is mine to do?”

In a complex and challenging world, it’s tempting to give in to overwhelm, confusion, reactivity, or numbness.
​How do we practice skillfully, to Be the Change? ​
​How do we make space for inner alchemy before outer action? ​
​
This season we will explore songs that build our bandwidth for thriving aliveness in these wild times -- to become the Love that is the balm. We’ll sing to resource ourselves, we’ll sing to attune to our souls’ deepest wisdom, and we’ll sing to build capacity for powerful, strategic action that mends this sacred web of life.​

This season we collaborate with Lyndsey Scott, a community singing powerhouse and deep, longterm ally of Lisa’s. She will join us a few times through the season, including our concert. We’ll sing several of her songs, along with a diverse mix of others.

Wholehearted Season Details
​Earlybird Tuition ends this Sunday

Tuition for the season is $350 until 7pm this Sunday, when it goes up to $390. We have partial scholarships and payment plans for those with financial limitations. (Just make your request soon please!)

Wholehearted has two chapters, in San Diego and Carmel, CA, both led by artistic director Lisa Littlebird and supported by an awesome team of section leaders and instrumentalists. We learn all our songs in the old way– through call & response listening and repetition– rather than studying sheet music.

In San Diego, we gather about twice a month, and most practices fall on Wednesday evenings from 6:30-8:45pm at the First Church music center in Mission Valley. Our season culminates in a large public concert on October 11th at the Magnolia.
​
We’d absolutely love to have you with us. See below for details.

psst.... we’re especially calling in a few good men! Baritones & tenors, where are ya?

SEASON SCHEDULE

FAQs

TUITION & REGISTRATION

Sing, Social & Sunset with Lisa
Wednesday, May 20, 6-7:30pm
at Kate Sessions Park

This is a free, informal event for registered singers or anyone thinking about it. Friends and family welcome. Come meet Lisa and our good people in a relaxed way with a mix of song time and hang time. It will be an ideal chance to get help finding your voice placement for the season.

No advance registration is required. Bring a little food to share if you wish, and we might also suggest a beverage, blanket or camp chair, layers, and anything else you need to be comfortable outdoors.
​
Kate Sessions park is located at 5115 Soledad Rd, San Diego, CA 92109.

It started with me making a custom Hug Monster coloring book for Asher for Xmas. I used AI and photoshop to put him into fun scenes.

Once I had the pages set up, it wasn’t too difficult to make custom books for other kids I knew. Sometimes I included their parents. I always included at least one picture with Lisa and I.

Collaborating with kids is always fun.

But I quickly discovered that I wasn’t a fan of coloring with pencils, or crayons, or traditional markers.

Then I bought a set of alcohol markers and my world changed.

I bought a “grown-up coloring book” of mandalas and completed every page. I ordered more coloring books. Then more. I tried other illustration styles, but they didn’t scratch the itch. Coloring mandalas was my happy place.

But the books I ordered were never quite right.

The more I colored, the more I knew what I liked: thick lines to color inside + high quality paper.

So I started making & printing my own. I scrolled through 100’s of mandalas on Magnific.com and downloaded my favorites.

My first mandala books included images of Lisa and I on every page.

As I colored, I learned that I preferred black backgrounds…and that looking at my own face lost its silly charm after a few hours.

My newest books are feeling really dialed-in.

Thick black lines against black background, cardstock paper, and a favorite quote on every page. (As adorable as our faces are, a wisdom mantra is a much better accompaniment to the meditative act of coloring.)

(higher res images uploaded here.)

If you'd like to print your own copy of my latest 33 page coloring book, you can download a zip of the images here. (Message me if you’d like detailed instructions on how I get them printed at Staples.)

Now…
Turn up your volume and bask in the glory of “The Coloring King” music video: (No Instagram? click here)

Hope you are enjoying the end of Spring!
I love you,
John
p.s. There’s still spots for May 16th in Santa Barbara!
p.p.s. And still time to sign up for Lisa’s Chorus, too.

Lots going on in May!

Men: Join me and Ishmiel in Santa Barbara on May 16!

This weekend:

FRIDAY: Join me and Betsy in Zoom on Friday noon/3pm EST for our 100th episode of STAY SPARKED. (Not IRL, but still quality connection time.)

SATURDAY: Join me downtown San Diego at noon for 1st Saturdays.

Meet at 1420 Third Ave. Bring gently used clothes, luggage and blankets to gift.

Lisa’s Wholehearted Chorus (San Diego & Monterey) starts at meeting at the end of May, too. I’m signed up!

It would be amazing to connect next month. But no matter what, I hope your spring is full of fragrant blooms, inspiration, and tomato seedlings.

Love,

John

Heart-Centered Men’s Gathering

On May 16th, I’m co-leading the 2nd annual gathering of “Heart-Centered Men” in Santa Barbara with Ishmiel.

We opened up registration yesterday. Our last one sold out.
Check out the event page for details. Or respond to this email with questions.

On Recent Headlines about “Men”

**Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault***

It is hard not to be thinking about the work that is needed from men right now.

♂️ The Manosphere documentary on Netflix has shone a light on the misogynist thought leaders who are attracting frightening numbers of young male followers.

♂️ The CNN article about an “online rape academy” has exposed a population of married men who drug and then have sex with their unconscious partners.

WTF!?

It is hard to face these realities.

It is hard to know what to say or do.

Obviously I am against rape and all non-consensual acts.

But I am also deeply distressed that our culture has incubated and birthed these communities of men.

How does a young man become so lonely that he finds solace in shared anger against women?

How does a man become so distant from his partner that drugging her feels acceptable?

How many men are not in spaces as extreme as those in the headlines - but are experiencing profound suffering and disconnection?

To yell, “They’re bad!” feels empty - and possibly even pushes the disconnected men farther away. And any nuanced statement around such a charged topic will inevitably be met with hurt and vitriol.

That being said…

🗣️ I’d like to say to women:

• I cannot imagine what it must be like to be a woman - knowing that the potential for violence, disrespect and deceit could be just below the surface in any man she meets.

• I will listen to women without defensiveness.

• I will be understanding and compassionate about women’s fears.

• I will publicly show my respect and admiration for the feminine.

🗣️ I’d like to say to men:

• I cannot imagine what it is like to be a man so lonely and angry that they feel justified in dehumanizing and degrading women.

• I will listen to men without judgement.

• I will work to show love and seek to understand. I will try not to drive fearful men deeper into the darkness.

• I will speak up when I see hints of dangerous beliefs or behaviors.

• I will do my best to role-model healthy masculinity in my relationships, words, and actions.

• I will create spaces of healing for men.

• I will continue to work on myself.

I’m not excusing any behavior. Or minimizing any rage.

I’m just trying to keep my heart open and move the needle towards love.

💗

I doubt the May 16th invitation will find the men on the far edge who need it, but I believe that any healing work impacts the entire collective. It certainly benefits the relationships with the people in our lives and ourselves.

So I hope some of you - or someone you care about - can join us for the 2nd annual Gathering of Heart-Centered Men in Santa Barbara on May 16th.

If you have read this far, I hope you know that I love you.
And I’d LOVE for you to respond sharing something you are grateful for.

Me?
I’m grateful (& excited) that next Friday, Betsy and I will be recording our 100th EPISODE of our podcast, “Stay Sparked!”

I’m feeling proud and reflecting on how much the practice has helped me. It’s gonna be recorded live in zoom -(12 PST 3:00pm EST) so mark your calendar and join us if you want to listen and participate in the recording! (Facebook event page)

Betsy & I did something totally different for the latest episode of Stay Sparked.

Instead of sharing an inspiring conversation, we spoke directly to YOU.

I think you’ll really feel the love.

LISTEN:
Apple Podcasts | YouTube | Spotify

It is hard to believe, but we are approaching our 100th EPISODE!

We’re going to record it live on May 1, and you’re invited!
Join us in Zoom and share your thoughts on Staying Sparked in the modern world.

We’d love to include your voice in our 100th episode. Or just listen and laugh with us.

SAVE THE DATE: May 1, 12:00 PST, 3:00pm EST.

When we started recording Stay Sparked in 2022, we had no idea it would become a priceless memorial.

We are immensely grateful for the time we spent together and the wisdom we we able to record. He is always in our thoughts and his energy is a part of every broadcast.

We love you, Janus.

Are you a Stay Sparked subscriber?
Maybe you’ve never listened?

C’mon… give us a try.
Apple Podcasts | YouTube | Spotify

Even if you never listen to Stay Sparked (or “Hard on the 80’s”), I still love you to pieces.

Happy Springtime!
-John Halcyon

p.s. I’m live every day at 9:00am PST if you want to join me and share some gratitude!

🙏 I’m grateful for daily moments of presence with my beloved, Lisa. And I’m grateful for the people who gather with me online to share gratitude each day.

🙏 I’m grateful that the latest episode of STAY SPARKED is an interview with me!

Last episode I interviewed Betsy, and this time she interviewed me.

As we approach 100 episodes, we thought it would be fun to share more about ourselves and the origins of our biggest projects.

Have a Listen/Watch:

Spotify + Apple Podcasts + YouTube

🙏 I’m grateful I was able to use AI to make a lifetime of Self-Expression come alive:

I also used AI on old family photos to celebrate my dad’s 85th bday.

What are you feeling grateful for?

love,
John

JOIN THE ZOOM

(Participation is optional. Just listen if you wish.
There are activities all weekend, but I’ll be hosting the gratitude circle Saturday at 12:00 noon PST.)
🩷💜🩷🍦💩🩷💜🩷

Today we’re celebrating six years of daily gratitude circles.
We started with the first COVID lockdowns.

People from all over the world have been gathering three times a day - every day - to share gratitude and connect.

We’ve supported one another through grief.
We’ve celebrated one another’s wins.
We’ve been family for one another when the world was just too much.

Some of you have dropped in our Zoom room just once.
Some people have attended while going through a specific life chapter, then moved on.
Others pop in every year or so when they know they could use some extra love.
Many of us are there every day.

Personally, it’s a huge part of what keeps my heart open and maximizes the joy in my life. It’s part of my spiritual practice.

1000’s of little celebrations of life.
1000’s of reframes to find the lessons in the struggles.
1000’s of opportunities to learn from others’ life experiences.

Every single gathering ends with a shared self hug & a nod to Grandpa Caleb.

We may be geographically separated, but we connect through intention.

We like to say, “It doesn’t matter where your feet are, it matters where your heart is.”

There will be activities all weekend in our Zoom room.
But the main event is today (Saturday) at noon PST when I’ll lead our celebratory gratitude sharing and hug.

To everyone who has honored Grandpa Caleb and the healing power of gratitude through the years...THANK YOU. I know he’s proud.

If you’ve ever joined in a hug, or would like to try it for the first time, you are always welcome.

((HUG))

love,
John

p.s. Don’t want to Zoom? Reply with something you are grateful for!

HUG MONSTER was born as a way to connect to Asher.

At the end of one of my visits to Connecticut, Asher was upset that I was leaving.

He pouted and refused to talk to me on the 20 minute ride to the airport.

Every time I turned around from the front seat with a new attempt to redirect his attention or make him laugh, he double downed and intensified his scowl.

Half way through the drive, I tried a new tactic: While facing forward in the front seat I reached my hand over my shoulder and started talking to Asher, using my hand as a makeshift puppet.

My hand puppet had a funny voice and was obsessed with syrup. He asked Asher if he’d ever taken a bath in syrup. And if so, did he struggle with washing the syrup off his fur.

Asher started giggling and responding directly to my hand. For the remaining 10 minutes of the drive, Asher and my improvised hand puppet were fully engaged in dialogue.

As soon as I got back to San Diego, I found an Etsy seller who made custom puppets.

“Hug Monster” started joining me in my weekly video calls with Asher.

It was super fun. And it allowed me to see a side of Asher I hadn’t. Hug Monster would ask stupid questions, and Asher would answer seriously and confidently. In their dynamic, Asher was the well-educated authority. I can only imagine how refreshing that would be for a kid.

I started REALLY enjoying getting into the Hug Monster character. I made personalized short videos & birthday messages and sent them to friends’ kids.

Then I made Hug Monster a public YouTube channel for kids.

My goal has been “The Muppet Zone.”

Meaning: content that makes kids laugh, but has jokes above their head that also make their parents laugh.

Cool parents have been recording their kids’ questions for Hug Monster to answer.

As I’ve been working on this project, my disillusionment with social media algorithms was hitting a breaking point.

I worked so hard to get 1,000 or 100,000 people to watch 5 seconds of my Instagram videos. Even when a reel went viral and topped a million views, it felt empty. I got few new followers and no real connections.

So I’ve redirected my focus. I began creating for “micro audiences.” Custom coloring books for Asher and friends’ children. Birthday card videos. Hug Monster videos that would be watched by 5-10 kids max.

Recently I’ve been using my Hug Monster response videos as a place to practice using new AI tools. And, I don’t mean to brag…but they are AWESOME.

I’m proud of them and I’m feeling the old tugging desire to get more people to see them.

So I’m sitting with that feeling and examining how much of it is a healthy desire to make people smile…and how much of it is ego.

But I genuinely think you’ll enjoy them.
And making you (or your kids) smile would make me happy.

If I could make a few requests:

1. Share the Hug Monster YouTube channel with a kid you know! Tell them to SUBSCRIBE.

2. If you have a kid, show him a few videos and - if they’re inspired - record them asking Hug Monster a question like, “Do you like…?” “Have you ever…?” “What should I do about…?”

3. Don’t leave any syrup out on the table if Hug Monster comes to visit you.

Sending you Springtime love,

John Halcyon & Hug Monster

If you have a little one (or an inner child) I’d love you to check out the Hug Monster Show.
Even better, record a video of your kid asking a question for Hug Monster to answer.

For example:

Hug Monster’s close friends sometimes even get custom coloring book pages.

Hoping all your days are SUPER!

Love,
John

p.s. If you’re new to the Hug Monster’s world, it will make more sense if you understand that he LOVES maple syrup.

Grab your best pink threads and come dance this weekend!

Tickets, lineup, and info.
(Use code pinkie2026 for $5 off)
Note: I’m no longer an active camp member and can take no credit for the party. But I will be there with pink bells on, enthusiastically celebrating Pink Heart & the 10 Principles.

Better yet, make a weekend out of it…

… and join my Love Ambassador Meetup.

Happy New Year!
Love,
John

This video will give your heart the Warm Fuzzies. Please watch?

It shows quick snips from the best of our Xmas week adventures.


Below is the“Things we could do” list I presented to him. Asher color-coded it with a system I never quite figured out. But we did almost everything.

I’m still glowing from the visit and am missing the sound of Asher’s laughter.

How is your year-end feeling?

I’m looking forward to a mellow New Year’s Eve and The Love Ambassador Retreat at my home Jan. 10-11.

Love you!
-John