I didn’t mean for it to happen. In all honesty I sort of stumbled in here.

I’m sitting at a table directly facing the chairs we occupied. I couldn’t stomach the thought of sitting in them now, so the table will do.

I remember how bashful and nervous I was that day, how badly I wanted the date to go well, and how much I enjoyed myself while we were here.

I had such a lovely time sitting across from him in those chairs. I remember parting ways, my whole body swollen with thoughts of the possibility of us.

It’s been four months since we sat in those chairs.

Presently, at my table just a mere few feet away, I glance up at the chairs and can’t help but think about the fact that I couldn’t feel any further from the version of myself that sat there.

I yearn for her.

There’s a middle-aged man, balding and tired looking, sitting in the chair that *redacted* sat in.

No one sits across from him.

Can he feel the weight of my thoughts from here? Does he understand the gravity of where he sits?

Does *redacted*? Do I?

I offered my heart up on a silver platter, over coffee, in those chairs.

And now a man sits there taking a work call, he’s talking numbers a little too loudly against the backdrop of the quiet cafe this early in the morning.

Four months. Four. Months.

That’s how long it has taken me to come back to this cafe. To allow myself to occupy this space again.

In that time I have offered myself up again and again, always without the promise of anything in return.

Scraps of myself that I had never dared show anyone else, parts that I was sure would stay hidden forever. He somehow pulled from me.

All of that, just to end up back where we started.

The chairs. Two blue chairs with a small side table in the middle. The table that held our coffees, long forgotten in the midst of easy conversation. Of laughter.1

Except this time, I’m alone.

I sit at the table, not the chairs.

The man stands up and collects his things. Phone held against his ear, he continues his work call as he curtly leaves through the cafe doors. I watch him the whole way.

I turn back to the chairs.

They sit empty.

The chairs are empty, and maybe…they always were.

I have always loved Valentine’s Day, not in spite of being single, but almost because of it.

I have never spent February 14th with a romantic partner, never had the candlelit dinner or the dramatic bouquet delivery at my door, yet the day has always felt like it was made especially for me. Because at its heart (pun intended), Valentine’s Day is not really about romance - it’s about loving people out loud. And loving people out loud is my favorite thing in the world.

I am someone who strives to celebrate my people. I love finding the exact card that sounds like something I would say if I were brave enough to say it first. I love wrapping small, unnecessary gifts just because something reminded me of someone. I LOVE acts of service — picking up coffee, sending a long voice memo, remembering tiny details most people forget. Words, gifts, time, effort etc… these are the ways I say you matter to me. A holiday built around doing exactly that feels less like a marketing invention and more like a dream come true.

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

Valentine’s Day gives us permission to be intentionally affectionate, to pause in the middle of ordinary routines and say, “I love you. I appreciate you. I’m glad you are in my life.” It reminds me that love is not rare or scarce or reserved for only one kind of relationship. It lives in group chats that never go quiet, in friends who show up without being asked, in the people who know our stories by heart.

My friends are the platonic loves of my life. They are the people who have witnessed my becoming, who have sat with me in laughter and in heartbreak, who know exactly how I take my coffee, what books will get me out of a reading slump, and exactly what to say when I don’t have the words myself. Long before any romantic relationship enters my life, and long after many of them fade, these are the relationships that shape a lifetime. They are, in so many ways, the great loves of my story.

So when Valentine’s Day arrives each year, I don’t feel like I am missing something. I feel like I am being handed a celebration perfectly suited to the way I already live: a day dedicated to loving my people well. A day that invites handwritten notes, thoughtful surprises, warm dinners with friends, and small acts of care that say, “ You are important to me, and I want you to know it.”

Maybe someday I will celebrate the holiday with a romantic partner, and that will be beautiful in its own way. But even then, Valentine’s day will never belong to just one relationship. It will always be about the wide circle of people who make my life brighter — the friends who feel like home, the family who stands ready beside me, the people whose presence has shaped who I am.

Because for me, February 14th has never been about whether I have a date. It has always been about this: a day devoted to the people I love most. And honestly, I can’t imagine a better reason to celebrate.

Small ways you can celebrate the people you love this Valentine’s Day:

• Write a handwritten letter telling someone exactly why they matter to you

• Send a “thinking of you” text to a friends you haven’t spoken to in awhile

• Plan a cozy dinner/movie night with friends

• Leave kind notes for coworkers, roommates, or family members to find

• Offer an act of service — babysitting, running an errand, or helping with something they’ve been putting off

• Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your friendship and share it with them

• Buy flowers — not just for a partner, but for a friend, a parent, or even yourself

• Call someone you love and tell them something you usually assume they already know: how grateful you are for them

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

I hope you all feel surrounded by love this season. If you don’t feel the love, BE the love! It’s the most powerful force in the world <3

xoxo, Hannah

The moment I stepped through the front door of Orchard House, something inside me settled — the kind of feeling you get when you slip into a place that feels familiar, even if it isn’t yours. It wasn’t just nostalgia or admiration; it was recognition. A soft, subtle knowing that the stories held inside those rooms weren’t just the Alcotts’ stories. Somehow, they brushed against mine too.

There’s a warmth in her home that doesn’t come from the lighting or the paint or the old wood. It comes from the way her life — the ordinary and the extraordinary — still lingers in the air. Her childhood wasn’t perfect. Her family wasn’t perfect. Their struggles weren’t tucked away; they shaped the walls themselves. And maybe that’s why it feels like home to so many of us. Because our stories, too, are stitched together with the same mix of love, disorder, hope, and hardship.

Walking through her doorway felt like crossing into a shared human experience. Louisa wrote about sibling squabbles, cramped spaces, financial worries, laughter echoing up stairwells, and the small joys that hold families together. Those things are timeless. They happened to the Alcotts, but they also happened to my family — and to yours. That’s what makes Orchard House feel strangely universal. It mirrors the homes we grew up in, not in structure, but in spirit.

As I moved from room to room, it struck me how deeply personal it felt to stand in a place shaped by a woman whose life was at once so different from mine and yet completely familiar. Her dreams, her grief, her striving, her longing for a better life — these are the things that make a house feel lived-in and alive. And they are the same things that have shaped my own story.

And in telling her story, she somehow tells ours too — carrying our worries, our hopes, our girlhood dreams alongside her own. That shared heartbeat is what fills the house with a sense of belonging.

Her home feels like my home. And your home. Because at its core, Orchard House isn’t just the Alcott family’s story — it’s a reflection of every home where love and loss have sat side by side, where creativity sprouted out of necessity, where families tried their best even when life wasn’t easy. In that way, walking through her door felt like returning to something I already knew: that our stories overlap more than we think.

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Thank you for reading this sappy little post. I wrote this mostly for myself and my sweet friends Nadia and Lily (who contributed to this letter with their collective memories of our trip to Orchard House). I will always remember being there with you two and the lovely older ladies who took our photo outside of the home and said, “now these are the real little women”. <3

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When I think about fantasy books, one image that keeps coming back to me is the figure of the female knight. She stands tall in armor, sword in hand, but her strength feels like it comes from something deeper than steel. It reminds me of the way religious stories frame certain women — chosen, guided, even burdened — with a sense of higher purpose. It’s as if the archetype of the female knight carries not just the weight of battle, but the weight of faith.

I can’t help but think of Joan of Arc in this moment. She’s a historical figure, yes, but also a mythic one — a teenage girl who heard voices, claimed divine visions, and marched into war when no one thought she should. Fantasy authors often borrow from this template: the girl who isn’t “supposed to be” a warrior but is called one anyway, not by the world around her, but by something sacred and unshakeable. That kind of religious subtext makes the female knight more than a fighter; it makes her a chosen one, even a martyr.

There’s also the way armor itself feels symbolic. In scripture, there’s the “armor of God” — faith, as a shield, righteousness as a breastplate. When a female knight straps on her gear, it almost reads like a physical manifestation of that same idea. She isn’t just armoring her body; she’s armoring her spirit again corruption, against evil, against the doubts that come from stepping into a role society says she doesn’t belong in.

What fascinates me most is the tension. Religion, in history, hasn’t always been kind to women who sought power or agency (It often times still isn’t today). And yet, these female knight figures in fantasy — like their saintly counterparts in tradition — break through anyway. They fight not because they’re permitted to, but because something higher demands it. This duality makes their stories feel both rebellious and holy, both radical and deeply rooted in tradition.

For me, drawing these connections makes the female knight more than just a cool character type. She’s a bridge between myth, faith, and fantasy — a reminder that sometimes the most powerful warriors are not the ones society ordains, but the ones who answer a call no one else can hear.

Looking back on my studies so far, I’ve learned how fantasy often serves as a mirror for humanity’s oldest questions: What does it mean to be chosen? How does faith shape identity? And how do women find power in systems built to contain them? From Tolkien’s spiritual undertones to Joan of Arc’s enduring legend, I’ve begun to see that stories of divine purpose and rebellion are inseparable. The female knight stands at that crossroads — where belief becomes courage, and where myth gives women a place in the sacred narrative of heroism.

In essence, my curriculum so far has shown me that faith and fantasy are not opposites but reflections of each other, and that the image of the female knight continues to challenge, inspire, and redefine what it means to fight with conviction.

⋆˙⟡

Thank you all so much for following along this little passion project of mine. My first post garnered way more attention than I was expecting. If you too are completing this curriculum, or just have knowledge on the topic that I might be missing, please don’t hesitate to reach out!

You can support me and this blog by buying me a cup of coffee <3

This year feels like the year of the lady knight. Everywhere I look—in books, films, shows, and games—women in armor are stepping into the light, lifting their swords, and rewriting the stories we thought we knew. That surge of imagery and courage is what inspired me to create this curriculum. It isn’t just a study plan—it’s a quest.

Joan of Arc rides at the heart of this journey. She was both saint and soldier, girl and general, a figure who belongs as much to legend as to history. Her spirit lingers in every armored heroine who has followed: Brienne of Tarth, Bradamante, the women of Avalon, and countless others. When I see them, I see faith and fire woven together—and I can’t help but ask: What does it mean to be chosen, to believe, to fight for something beyond yourself?

This is the path I invite you to walk with me. Along the way, we will sharpen our pens like swords, turning pages as if entering new battlefields. We’ll seek wisdom in old texts, spar with new interpretations, and forge our own creations from the stories that inspire us. Every knight’s journey is richer with companions—so I hope you’ll join me, not just as a reader, but as a fellow traveler. Together, we’ll discover how faith, fantasy, and the figure of the female knight continue to shape the worlds we dream and the heroes we become.

The following is a four unit framework I have created with the intention of diving deeper into the topic of religious subtext in works of fantasy, and the role of women in these stories. I have also come up with a list of questions that could be answered with the research to be done within the units. If you intend to follow along and partake on this quest yourself, please know that this is JUST a framework! This is not an actual syllabus, so feel free to go wherever your curiosity takes you. I am so excited to hear/se what you all find within these texts.

Personal Curriculum Framework

Theme: Faith, Fantasy, and the Female Knight
Exploring how religion, mythology, and history shape female warrior figures in fantasy, with Joan of Arc as a central archetype.

Unit 1 – Foundations: Religion & Myth in Fantasy

• Topics:

  • How Christianity and other religious traditions influence fantasy worldbuilding.

  • Themes of prophecy, martyrdom, chosen heroes.

• Suggested Reads/Resources:

  • Tolkien and the Great War by John Garth (Christian subtext in Tolkien).

  • Excerpts from The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell.

  • Short stories with religious undertones (e.g., C.S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia).

• Activity: Write a reflection on where you’ve noticed religious imagery in fantasy you already love.

Unit 2 – The Female Knight Archetype

• Topics:

  • History of Joan of Arc (primary sources + biographies).

  • Women warriors in medieval literature (La Pucelle, Bradamante from Orlando Furioso).

  • The “virgin knight” trope vs. empowered female warriors in modern fantasy.

• Suggested Reads/Resources:

  • Joan of Arc: A History by Helen Castor.

  • Selected cantos from Orlando Furioso (Ariosto).

  • Articles on “gender and chivalry.”

• Activity: Compare Joan’s portrayal in history with a fictional female knight (e.g., Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones).

Unit 3 – Religious Subtext & Gender in Fantasy

• Topics:

  • How fantasy uses martyrdom, sainthood, and sacrifice.

  • Female characters as “chosen ones” or spiritual leaders.

• Suggested Reads/Resources:

  • T.S. Eliot’s Murder in the Cathedral (themes of martyrdom).

  • The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley (reimagining Arthurian legend from a female perspective).

  • Select fantasy novels with prophetess/knight figures (listed at the end).

• Activity: Write a creative sketch of a Joan-of-Arc-inspired character in a fantasy setting.

Unit 4 – Synthesis & Creation

• Topics:

  • Pulling together religious themes, gender roles, and knightly archetypes.

• Capstone Options:

  • Write a research essay (comparative analysis).

  • Build a creative project (short story, worldbuilding outline, or character study).

Create a presentation/mini-lecture tying history and fantasy together.

☆ Books/Movies/TV Shows/Documentaries ☆

Books (modern novels with female knight/saint characters):

• The Six Deaths of a Saint by Alix E. Harrow

• The Everlasting by Alix E. Harrow (releases at the end of October)

• The Second Death of Locke by V.L. Bovalino

• The Isle in the Silver Sea by Tasha Suri

• The Starving Saints by Caitlin Starling

• Gwen and Art Are Not in Love by Lex Croucher

Movies:

• The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999)

• The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)

• The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

TV Shows:

• Willow (defunct?)

• Xena: Warrior Princess

• Game of Thrones ( Episodes where Brienne of Tarth is prevalent)

Youtube Video Essays:

Thank you to all my fellow lady-knight lovers for your interest in this little passion project of mine, I can’t wait to see where this little quest takes us!

Happy reading!!

Kings Rising

By: C.S. Pacat

Started my year off by finishing a series that I have been reading for quite some time now. While this isn’t my favorite series by Pact (I prefer Dark Rise by a MILE) it was still a fun time. I will say however, this book wasn’t the satisfying conclusion to the series that I was looking for. I was OBSESSED with the tension and yearning that we got in the first two books, and then it just fell flat in this last one. I still love Damen and Laurent so much and I still find myself thinking about this world occasionally but it’s very forgettable in my opinion. Our two main characters are the perfect foil of each other and their complicated relationship kept me intrigued and engaged. At the end of the day, Pact is the master of packing her novels full of political intrigue but she makes her characters and relationships so compelling that the politics and war isn’t so overwhelming. It’s the perfect mix, and I love her books for that.

“You were never a slave, Damianos. You were born to rule, as was I.”

The Summer Palace & Other Stories

By: C.S. Pacat

I don’t have much to say about this one. This is a collection of short stories that take place in the world of the Captive Prince Trilogy. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to read this one because I didn’t particularly care about any of the other short stories other than the one from Damen’s perspective but I was very pleasantly surprised. These stories take place in different places in the timeline of our series and it was very interesting to get some different point-of-views from some of the events that take place. It added another layer to those scenarios and I found it deeply appealing. It was fun to spend just a little bit longer in this world. I could see myself revisiting this one some day!

Arch-conspirator

By: Veronica Roth

WOWWWWWWW ok miss Veronica!! This is a modern sci-fi telling of the classic story of Antigone. It was a futuristic and apocalyptic twinge to it. It’s a very short book but it really packed a punch. It’s a thoughtful reflection on bodily autonomy, mother/womanhood, family, and the ethics of immorality. Veronica’s writing is lyrical and poignant, she has definitely grown since writing the Divergent series. I am a greek philosophy nerd at my core so I will ALWAYS consume a retelling like no other. This was such an interesting take on Antigone’s story. And even though I know the story, I know how its end, Veronica keep me on the edge of my seat until the final page. It’s the perfect book to binge in one sitting, which is exactly what I did!

“I had heard, for just a moment, not Ismene’s voice, but the voice of our mother. And I wondered if maybe I was wrong — maybe immorality did exist, if my mother could speak through Ismene. If I could still hear her, even after death.”

—

“And if the election turns out someone worse?”

“Then at least we would be responsible for our own doom,” he said, “ instead of someone else deciding it for us. And really, isn’t that the most any of us can hope for?”

Even Though I Knew the End

By: C.L. Polk

Okay hear me out…. romantic fantasy noir set in Chicago in the 40s! Yeah i’ll be there!! This is a sapphic period piece that kept me enticed from start to finish. Just like the title of the book would suggest, I knew exactly how this book was going to end but that didn’t stop it form absolutely crushing me! I always forget how much I love urban fantasy, and this book completely reminded me that it’s a genre that I need to pick up more often. This book was dark, edgy, emotional, tense, mysterious, and just an absolute gem in my opinion. If you are going to read this book (and you 100% should) do yourself a favor and just go into it blind. You won’t regret it!!!

“You don’t do the unthinkable to get something you want. You do it to get back what you lost.”

The House of My Mother

By: Shari Franke

If you are anything like me, then you probably had a slight obsession with family bloggers at a young age. When I was in middle school, I used to watch 8 Passengers on my school-issued laptop for HOURSSSSS. So when I saw that this book was coming out, I knew that I was going to have to get my hands on it. I listened to the audiobook version of this because it was narrated by Shari herself and I think that it was the perfect way to do it. This was such a hard read in the sense that it was sad to come to the realization that the events of this book were happening behind the scenes in the videos I loved to watch when I was younger. Reading this memoir made me uncomfortable and I think it did its job. I felt myself connecting to Shari in such a deep way as a fellow oldest sister. A lot of the guilt and pressure she documented feeling was so incredibly relatable. I’m so proud of her for standing up for herself and telling her story. I hope that she now has the room to heal on her own timeline.

“Sometimes, family isn’t just what you’re born into—it’s also what you build in the aftermath of loss.”

“It felt like I was waking up from a long, hazy dream. The fog was lifting, and in its place was a blinding, brilliant truth: It wasn’t me. It never had been me. The dysfunction, the chaos…it was all Ruby. It always has been.”

Hysterical

By: Elissa Bassist

Our country is in absolute shambles right now, and so now more than ever it’s vital to educate yourself. This book is for any woman who’s been called crazy or “Hysterical” when simply trying to be heard. This was an intelligent and compelling read. I could feel the love and rage that it took to write this memoir radiating off the pages. Lots of interesting discussions within this book. Honestly should be a priority read for everyone. Highly recommend.

RECAP!!!!

So excited for what the rest of 2025 reading has in store!!

What was your favorite read of January?

Until next time!

xoxo, Hannah

On a Sunbeam

By: Tillie Walden

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/ 5 stars

# of pages: 533

Moods: emotional, adventurous, hopeful, reflective

(see bottom of review for content warnings!!)

“Have you ever even considered that something that’s so trivial to you could mean SO much more to someone else?”

I LOVE graphic novels! Anytime i’m in a reading slump or I start to feel myself losing joy in my current read, I know that I can pick up a graphic novel and it will cure all my reading woes. I never used to let myself read graphic novels because I thought they weren’t considered “real” books (which is absolutely ridiculous…read whatever the hell you want!). But I have recently let myself fall head-first into my love for graphic novels. I have read 12 books so far this year, and 9 of those have been graphic novels!!!! And guess what…i’ve never been happier lol.

I’ve had this particular book on my TBR list for so long. One of my favorite bookish content creators, known as allisonpaiges on social media, absolutely raves about this book along with all of Tillie Walden’s other works. Firstly, I highly recommend you check out Allisons Youtube channel, their content is so lovely. She truly puts her whole chest into creating the best possible content for viewers and i’m obsessed. Allison and I have VERY similar reading tastes (if you forget the fact that she hated The Song of Achilles, my FAVORITE book of all time lol) so of course I had to pick up the book that she speaks so highly about…and i’m so so glad I did.

I originally loaned this book out from the library, but by the time I was around 50 pages in, I knew I needed to own this book so I immediately went to the book store and got my own copy. I don’t know how to properly emphasize to you just how gorgeous this book is, I don’t think I can. And it’s not just the art that is beautiful. It’s the characters and the wonderfully diverse cast of people that we meet through the pages of this book, it’s the friendships and found family, it’s the plot that will have you sobbing while also somehow feeling more whole than before you read this book. The overall experience of reading this book is unlike any other graphic novel, or really any book in general, that i’ve read before. And yes, the art is out of this world beautiful.

“You don’t get to take the easy road out and just respect the parts of people that you recognize”.

Along side being the most gorgeous graphic novel i’ve read, it’s also the longest. This book comes out to a whopping 533 pages. This book is HUGE! You know a book is big when it won’t even fit in your Baggu crescent bag (IYKYK). For how lengthy this book is, Tillie Walden does an excellent job at pacing the storyline. I was thoroughly invested in the plot from cover to cover. This book had all of my favorite tropes including: found family, multiple timelines, and a wonderful mix of both platonic and romantic relationships. Reading this book was such an escape for me. I dove straight into this sci-fi fantasy world and I fell deeply in love. The characters all have my entire heart. This is such a special story and I’m so grateful that I got to experience it.

If you too want to experience the joy that is this book, I have great news for you!!! The entirety of the graphic novel is available through Tillie Walden’s website in web-toon format. And its completely free!!! I have provided the link for it below! Happy reading!

Click here to read!

If you like any of these movies/tv shows I think you’ll like this book:

• Star Wars (any of them)

• The Last of Us (HBO tv special)

• Eternals (Marvel)

• Willow (Disney+)

⚠️content warnings for this read include: bullying, violence, death of a loved one, and transphobia.

Content warnings for every book I ever discuss is always available on my StoryGraph, the link for which is in my Instagram bio.

Be kind to yourself while reading :)

Thank you so much for sticking around and listening to me rant about things I love. I’ve committed to sending out a newsletter once a week, and right now that is going to happen on Wednesday mornings. It’s not always going to be book reviews. I’m going to save those for my all time favorite reads of the year. Not quite sure what this is going to look like on a week-to-week basis, but we will see:)

Thank you all again for following along and supporting my very tiny little passion project. I love each and every one of you <3

💌follow my socials (if you want to of course):

Insta: @blakley.hannah

Goodreads: @hannahblakley

StoryGraph: @hblakley

2022 has been the best reading year of my life in regards to quantity. At this point in the year, I have read a grand total of 80 books (with hopes to read a few more in the last few weeks of the year). I found some new faves, as well as some major disappointments. Overwhelmingly though, I had fantastic luck with the books I read in the past year.

I read a little of every genre, so there is a bit of everything here in this list. I hope you can find at least one here that makes you feel that lightness that comes from discovering a new book.

Happy reading!

“I am, I am, I am” By: Maggie O’Farrell

What first drew me into this book was the fact that the title is my favorite quote from Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar. But I was immediately enraptured by Maggies intrinsic writing and incredible capacity for story-telling. Every single sentence of this book is lyrical and flowery while still managing to capture the harrowing fear the Maggie felt in these life or death moments. If you couldn’t already tell from the title, this book is a memoir of sorts where Maggie O’Farrell intimately recalls the seventeen times where she had a brush with death and lived to tell the tale. Something about the way that O’Farrell tells a story is so all-consuming. She sets up each of the seventeen experiences by telling you where she was in her life, and who she was as a person at the time. And, in my opinion, that’s what makes this book so special. You come to understand Maggie is such a deep and intimate way. You feel for her, you feel as if you lived through these experiences along side her. I had a pit in my stomach the entire time I was reading this book, yet I still couldn’t help but notice the outright beauty of her writing. My words and opinions on this memoir could never even come close to giving it the justice it deserves, so I’ve decided to let some of my favorite quotes speak for me instead.

“We are, all of us, wandering about in a state of oblivion, borrowing our time, seizing our days, escaping our fates, slipping through loopholes, unaware of when the axe may fall.”

“It was not so much that I didn’t value my existence but more that I had an insatiable desire to push myself to embrace all it could offer.”

“Migrations” By: Charlotte McConaghy

To be completely honest, I had absolutely no clue what this book was about going into it and, honestly, I think that’s the only right way to go about reading this one. So I’m not going to go too deeply into the plot. But what I will tell you is that I read this book back in April, and I haven’t been able to go a single day without thinking about this story. From the opening line, “The animals are dying. Soon we will be alone here”, to the very last page, I was consumed by the story being told and the way it was being told to us. This book had the ability to make me feel a wide range of emotions (sadness, nostalgia, fear, love, and most of all, hope) that somehow just feels right in this instance. Yes, this is a story about loss and extinction and sadness. But it is also, at its core, a story of human connection. Of nature. Of healing. While reading this book, I found myself constantly reflecting on what it truly means to be human, and how that effects our relationship with the world around us. This is one of those stories that reminds you of the realities of life. This book gave me hope in humanity, while also giving me a deep fear for our future as a species. All of that in less than 300 pages… incredible.

“Once, when the animals were going, really and truly and not just in warnings of dark features but now, right now, in mass extinctions we could see and feel, I decided to follow a bird over the ocean. Maybe I was hoping it would lead me to where they’d all fled, all those of its kind, all the creatures we thought we’d killed. Maybe I thought I’d discover whatever cruel thing drove me to leave people and places and everything, always. Or maybe I was just hoping the bird’s final migration would show me a place to belong. Once, it was birds who gave birth to a fiercer me.”

“A Psalm for the Wild-Built” By: Becky Chambers

In 2022, I was introduced to the joy that is “cozy reads”. If you aren’t familiar with the sub-genre, it’s basically just books with little/no plot with main characters who just wander around doing mundane tasks and reminiscing on life (same). These books are often characterized by their beautiful depictions of scenery, food, appearances, etc. In my opinion, this book is the blueprint on what a “cozy” read should be. The characters were complex and well rounded while still feeling relatable and easy to digest. The plot was definitely there, but it’s not the main focus. You know what is the main focus, tea….that’s right, tea. I am still in awe about how I read an entire chapter that was solely about tea leaves and how they looked while they were steeping. And you know what…I absolutely love every second of it. Reading this book felt like receiving a hug from someone you deeply care about. It was so comforting and warm. Becky Chambers does a fantastic job at world-building. She gives us just enough information to make us feel like we understand, yet not too much as to make readers overwhelmed. Because feeling overwhelmed would definitely take away from the cozy aspect. What I didn’t expect from this book was how emotional it would make me. It was a beautiful depiction of unanticipated friendship and self discovery. I have never read anything quite like this one, and I don’t think I ever will.

“You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I don’t know how to answer that, because it is enough to exist in the world and marvel at it. You don’t need to justify that, or earn it. You are allowed to just live.”

“I think there’s something beautiful about being lucky enough to witness a thing on its way out.”

“I’m Glad My Mom Died” By: Jennette McCurdy

Everyone and their mother read this book this year, so I’m sure you're sick and tired of hearing people recommend it. But it would be a disservice not to mention it in my top reads of the year. Because it might just be THE top book. I’m always cautious of celebrity memoirs, mainly because only a select few of them are actually worth reading (someone should really remind celebrities that just because they can, doesn’t mean they should….right??). But once I saw the mass amounts of love and support this book was receiving, I decided it was worth a shot. And boy was it. This book felt like a swift punch to the gut. I was a huge Nickelodeon kid growing up, preferring it’s quirky and teenage-centric shows compared to ever more popular Disney ones. That being said, ICarly was a huge part of my childhood. The style, the characters, the fact that Spencer and Carly lived on their own, the idea of three friends creating a web show…I was obsessed with all of it. And yet, after reading this book, I don’t think that I will ever in good-judgement be able to rewatch a single episode knowing what I know now. Knowing that a character that I grew up adoring for her spunkiness and for the fact that she never took shit from anyone, especially boys, was played by a little girl who was miserable every single day she was on set, who never even wanted to be there in the first place. It hurts. I’m so incredibly sorry for all Jennette had to go through. I’m not sorry, however, for having read this book. I think it’s an extremely important read. It opens up so many necessary conversations. Conversations about the poor treatment of many child actors, toxic relationships, eating disorders, mental health, and how sometimes the people we are meant to trust the most are the ones who can hurt us the worst. I highly encourage every single person to read this book.

“And if she’s really going to die, what am I supposed to do with myself? My life purpose has always been to make Mom happy, to be what she wants me to be. So without Mom, who am I supposed to be now?”

“Loveless” By: Alice Oseman

No matter how old I get, you will never be able to convince me that YA literature isn’t the greatest thing on the planet. I think my deep love for this genre is just due to the fact that is is where my love for reading really grew into something special. I remember countless nights from my childhood, staying up way later than I should have, just so I could finish whatever book had my attention at the moment before school in the morning. I remember sneaking in a chapter here and there during the school day, rushing to get my silent work done early so I could pull a book out of my desk and escape into a world that wasn’t my own, if only for a moment. Not to get too deep and personal on this cold and gray Friday, but I have never been good at making and keeping friends, especially when I was younger. But books, books didn’t ask anything of me…but they gave me everything. Book characters have, in some ways, been there for me when no one else was. I felt seen and understood in the characters I read. And I had a deep longing to belong in their make-believe worlds. That being said, none of the books I read as a kid were particularly inclusive. It was easy for me, with white skin and blonde hair, to see myself reflected in many of the female main characters that I read about. Often putting myself in their places. But I know that is a privilege. Unfortunately, many kids my age DIDN’T get that. It’s not just appearances. It was so incredibly rare to see anything that wasn’t considered “standard” in a character. You didn’t see characters who were; plus size, queer, handicapped, BIPOC, disabled, etc. I’m so glad that this is no longer the case. Now, you can find books with every time of main character that you can think of. It's so exciting. I’m also slightly jealous, jealous that kids nowadays will have such an easier time seeing themselves reflected in book characters. Anyways, I guess I should stop being sappy and actually talk about the book. Loveless was absolutely incredible. I have read four other of Alice Oseman’s novels, and this is my far the best one yet. I didn’t expect to feel so seen by our main character Georgia. But that’s what happened. It’s a beautiful coming-of-age story. One that we have never seen depicted before. And I hope some young kid somewhere sees themselves reflected in Georgia and learns the joys of reading as I did.

“In the end, that was the problem with romance. It was so easy to romanticize romance because it was everywhere. It was in music and on the TV and in filtered Instagram photos. It was in the air, crisp and alive with fresh possibility. It was in falling leaves, crumbling wooden doorways, scuffed cobblestones and fields of fresh dandelions. It was in the touch of hands, scrawled letters, crumpled sheets and the golden hour. A soft yawn, early morning laughter, shoes lined up together by the door. Eyes across a dance floor. I could see it all, all the time, all around, but when I got closer, I found that nothing was there. A mirage.”

🍂

So there we are, there are my favorite books of the year. If you have made it this far, I guess I should thank you for listening to all of my rambling. These books are worth it though. And I hope you will take the time to read at least one of them.

As always, please look up the trigger warnings for any of these before you consider reading. Take care of yourself.

I would love to know what some of your favorite reads from this year have been! Comment one down below if you feel like it :)

I love you all so much, thank you for being here.

xoxo, Han

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hello friends

I have forever been in love with the idea of a blog. This may have begun during my time on the best platform of all time, also known as Tumblr. Or the obsession of blogs may have come from the countless quirky female characters I read about when I was younger, who all seemed to have one thing in common. They ALL had blogs. I see it as social media, in its purest form.

Blogs, to me, are for creators at heart. Those who wish to give, but not necessarily receive. Blogs are for those who picked up journaling at an early age and now have a plethora of nonsense-filled notebooks hidden underneath their bed. Writing has always been easiest way for me to truly say what I was thinking and feeling, without actually ever saying it. But journaling can get lonely, when the only one who ever sees the contents is you.

This is where the blog comes in. I wanted a way to write, create, and also to dive deeper into myself. Social media no longer feels like a place where I want to reside. It’s too loud, too much. I’m hoping this is much quieter. I hope you all will be able to find some peace and comfort in my words. Comfort that I hope to bring myself as well.

This blog is going to be a collection of things I love: book reviews, poems/quotes I’ve been loving, life updates, travel logs, advice, recommendations, the occasional rant about how much I love Taylor Swift….you get the idea ;)

So I guess this is my very informal invitation to join me along for the ride.

I’m so happy you’re here <3

xoxo, han

p.s.

It only felt fitting to end my first official post with the quote that inspired the name of this blog.

“I am made of memories”

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