There are times in life where somedays you just feel stuck, you don’t know what’s wrong or sometimes you know what’s bothering you but you just can’t seem to figure out an answer. And somedays, you know the problem, maybe heck you know the answer, but maybe there isn’t just one answer, but choices, a decision that needs to be made. And on all of those days you find yourself a little lost. You find yourself overthinking, overanalyzing the choices. And on somedays, you find that you’ve spiraled so much that you’re almost tired. And then there are also days when things become too heavy, you even become emotional under the weight of the decision that you’ve to make. And then finally you think how did I even get here.

This might happen time and again because life is all about making choices, big or small, choosing one path over another, and sometimes just making the trade offs. While you make a decision, with the best knowledge you’ve at that point of time, most of us struggle with making a decision, especially when stakes are high, and that in between time when you’re weighing the options, and each option feels like there’s a lot to loose. It can easily start feeling overwhelming, and that can sometimes take away joy from day to day life because that one question has now taken so much space in your brain, that you just desperately want to get it done with , even if that could just mean, choosing something, that probably you might actually regret.

Sometimes these questions, decisions, choices can feel so big, and you might feel like you’ve to make a decision immediately, and maybe in some exceptional cases you do. But let me stop you here and tell you something,

In most of the cases, you still have some time.

So, it’s important to take a step back and remind our pretty heads to take a pause and be kind to ourselves. Take the space you need to slow down and detonate that tiny thing in your mind that has become the time bomb.

Take deep breaths, give yourself some grace and if possible maybe treat yourself to something you enjoy, for going through something that has tuned into this big demanding thing, that takes all your energy away. Take a walk and just enjoy the tiny little moments, to recognize how far you’ve come, and to bring back that tiny little faith on yourself and the universe (if you trust it), that whatever you choose would work out in one way or another.

This faith in yourself can do wonders, and the belief that that nobody can have best intentions for you than yourself can make a lot of difference because it gives you the grace to own and accept the choices you make and move forward in life.

When we’re in middle of finding answers or making choices, a lot of times, we often find ourselves looking at extreme outcomes or choices, thinking it has to be all or nothing, but that’s not always the answer. There might always be a middle path where you can still find a way to move forward by focusing on small tiny actions or things that you can control. This can help a lot because you’re actually making some progress instead of being stuck in that loop. And that in itself can stop the spiraling or overthinking because your brain now needs to focus on executing some of the actions.

Sometimes talking to a friend or saying it out loud or just writing about it can give you a lot of clarity and maybe somewhere build that acceptance that you’ll be fine no matter what choice you make.

Most decisions aren’t about right and wrong. They’re about choosing which trade-offs you’re willing to live with.

This year has been a lot about introspection and overthinking. A lot of questions have popped up in my head, and maybe some of them even might need a decision on my end. But time and again, I find myself making a choice , and then changing the decision altogether. And that’s how sometimes a decision can feel so big in your head because you can’t bring yourself to choose, maybe sometimes stakes are high, but most of the times, you’re just scared, scared of making a wrong choice and regretting it later. And being scared can stop you from even making a decision.

And while I’m in middle of all this, I realized a couple of small things that I mentioned earlier have helped me realize that I don’t have to stay stuck and I can still somehow move forward.

I watched this movie recently called The Worst Person in the World , the main protagonist keeps moving from one choice to another, to find a perfect version of life, but towards the end , she realizes that life is anyway passing and time is limited.

I’m also reading the book The Midnight Library, where the main protagonist decides to end her life, but she lands up somewhere between life and death in a library where she gets to live through or see every choice that could’ve been her life—the lives she regretted not living. And in that library, there are millions of possibilities, but every life she wished she could have lived was imperfect in its own way.

So, if you think about it, every choice you make gives you a different life. We won’t live every possible life, and every choice or life we live won’t be perfect.

I don’t know how this book would end, and I’m quite curious about it. Both these things gave me some perspective. Whether we keep on jumping from one choice to another or we find ourselves stuck at making a choice, both indicate us looking for a perfect path which doesn’t exist.

I don’t know what’s better jumping from choice to choice or being stuck but one thing I know is that life is anyway passing by. And knowing that whatever choice you make, life would still be imperfect is quite assuring but that doesn’t mean making a choice is still easy.

It’s okay to not know answers right away, but you keep taking those tiny steps anyway and allow yourself to move forward rather than being stuck.

Here’s to imperfect choices we’ll make anyway :)

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment or share my work and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favorite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

By the time it was time for the trip, I was in desperate need of disconnecting from work and almost ready to recharge my batteries with some family time, which I feel I need at least every 6 months if not less.

The first day we landed at 6 in the morning. It was still 27 degrees, it was humid and hot, but the moment we stepped out of the airport, we were greeted with this view of tall buildings and well-maintained trees all around. The roads were clean and the sun was out in its full glory. It was almost like I couldn’t get enough of how much greenery there was all around and we were only going to discover more in the coming days.

We stepped out in the afternoon the same day thinking it was cloudy and we could feel some breeze. Guess what? We were quite wrong. It was hot and humid and the breeze which we had felt was nowhere in sight, so it was a mistake to think you could step out without a proper sunscreen. But slowly the more days you spend there, the weather starts growing on you. I would say it becomes tolerable with rain and a pleasant breeze every now and then.

The place where we were staying had an amazing view of this canal which I would like to think was part of the Singapore River, so waking up to that view every single morning was a joy in itself. We had a beautiful balcony where we would spend some time, or rather a few minutes, every day just soaking in the view, otherwise staying in air conditioners at all times haha.

The first thing that we explored in Singapore was its wildlife. It’s called Mandai Wildlife Reserve and everything including Bird Paradise, Singapore Zoo, Night Safari and River Wonders is there at one single place. It’s a bit away from the main center, but it’s almost like a biodiversity hub built right in the middle of the country where you could get lost discovering numerous birds and animals, and aquatic life as well.

We had quite a good time finding all those birds and animals hidden away in their sanctuary. I saw colorful parrots, like multi-colored, yellow, a green anaconda, an Indian gharial, pink and orange flamingos, a crowned pigeon, a sturgeon and numerous other birds and animals I’ve never seen in my life before. My favorite one definitely had to be the giant panda, Le Le. He was in sound sleep and hopefully having the best days of his life, or at least I’d like to think.

As we were exploring around Singapore, I also noticed several buildings named after Raffles like Raffles Hotel, Raffles Medical, and some of the colonial buildings like the Old Supreme Court, City Hall, and The Fullerton Hotel, which got me really curious and indeed there’s a story behind it. Sir Stamford Raffles was part of the British East India Companyand in 1819, after the signing of the Singapore Treaty, they were granted the exclusive right to establish a trading post in Singapore and that’s when during that time they started building these colonial buildings, and some of the buildings are in his name since he played a huge role in what we call modern Singapore today.

There are also streets like Chinatown and Haji Lane, which is part of Arab Street, and the Bugis area which we explored next. Chinatown was also created as part of the 1822 Town Plan by Stamford Raffles for Chinese immigrants while Kampong Glam or Bugis was assigned to Malays by him. But it was still quite mixed because we saw Sri Mariamman Temple in Chinatown with the Buddhist temple, so it means Indians also lived in the area of Chinatown. We also saw a mosque around Arab Street so Arab merchants and Indonesians (Bugis people, which are an ethnic group from today’s Indonesia) also lived there together with Malays.

While Chinatown had a lot of small shops, and also some of the famous hawker centres like Maxwell Food Centre, it also had one of the oldest coffee shops which sold kopi, which is also quite famous in Singapore. Whereas Haji Lanehad boutiques and cute shops and restaurants all around with different street art and murals.

There’s another area as well which we explored later which was Joo Chiat. This is where we saw Peranakan houses. This is also where Chinese descendants settled but these were different from Chinese immigrants that lived in Chinatown. These were earlier descendants and it was like a middle- to upper-class residential area for merchants whereas Chinatown was more for the working/trading class.

So Singapore was quite diverse because of being a trading hub and ships from all over Asia and the Middle East stopped there and migrants came here for work. Singapore today is also one of the most diverse countries in the world with four main communities: Chinese, Indians, Malays and Others (including Eurasians and Arabs).

One of these days when I went for a run with my siblings towards Marina Bay and we stopped at the Merlion right in front of Marina Bay Sands. I realized something very interesting about Singapore which didn’t hit me until we saw theMerlion. But before I tell you about that, mind you, the entire run we did was almost by the water, which was like a sight in itself and that’s also why I would say I enjoyed those runs so much.

Coming back to the point, if you think about the name Singapore and break it down, it’s basically Singa-pura, which, if you think about it, means City of the Lion, as pura means city and singa means lion. It has Sanskrit origins, but the name entered the Malay language through Hindu-Buddhist influence in the region. It almost made me think it had Indian origins.

Another interesting thing if you think about it is it was called a city and not a country, which when I googled it happened in 1965 when it separated from Malaysia and became a sovereign country.

We also spent some time in the famous Fort Canning Park which was another great way to connect with nature. It also has historical significance because that’s where Stamford Raffles also built a wooden bungalow and it was his residence and it was on a hill. It became quite significant as a military fort for the British military command center and also had underground bunkers during World War II.

And also how can I forget, there were a lot of malls in Singapore which I miss a lot here in Europe so we of course spent some time shopping and just enjoying the different variety of food in the food courts.

I didn’t even realize where the time went. Cooking food together, exploring the country, going on two amazing runs with my siblings to see a beautiful skyline of Singapore and its beautiful gardens and finishing a book. We also went to a beach, a cool Vinyl Cafe and also tried different treats and food. And of course, no family trip is complete without a few little fights and arguments.

It filled my cup which was half empty, it recharged my batteries which were almost drained. This was hands down one of the best times I’ve had this year and I’m just grateful to be writing this piece here and thinking about all the memories we made together.

P.S. Photo credits to my family.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment or share my work and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favorite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

I hardly write about work because for me writing has always been a way to relive memories and introspect better. And since work is consuming a lot of my time lately, I might as well write about it.

In these past few years, I’ve realized one thing about work,

It is just one part of your life,

You work so that you can enjoy your life and so that you can live the life you want after the clock hits 5 pm. So, when I find myself thinking about work in the gym while exercising or in the dreams while sleeping, and how it’s taking a lot of my mental space and how by the time it’s 9pm I’m already tired and sleepy. And how I feel like taking a small nap before I can wake up again to do the dishes and sleep again. I wasn’t happy with how my days were going. Not because I was tired mentally but also because I kept wondering whether I was really doing anything meaningful for other parts of my life.

For me travel has been one of those things that took me to new destinations and helped me break this cycle when one part of life starts overpowering the other parts of it. It gives me the time and the energy to recalibrate back.

And, Luckily, last month, I was traveling a bit both for work and otherwise. And spending some time with my friend and her mother in Morocco was an amazing break. We’ve had the most profound conversations and also generally about life and a lot more about adulting.

We both also got a chance to go on a work trip together which was like the cherry on the top, it was like we were making up for all those trips, all these years. We had the chance to visit Helsinki and also squeezed in a ferry ride to Tallinn. Again, it was a critical time from work’s perspective but we somehow managed it thinking when else are we going to get a chance like this?

And I’m glad we did, because some trips you just take to spend time with yourself and silence that non stop chatter, you spend them with your close people, have good food, and let yourself be in this new environment where everything feels like a sight in itself and you can’t help think how grateful you’re for this life.

Travel might feel like an escape, but sometimes an escape isn’t bad when it gives you the space and time to be kind to yourself, to pause for a moment when it gets intense, when you’re sometimes experiencing too many emotions you can’t even apprehend, just the very feeling that this is what it means when they say life is happening!

But I’ve also realized we might not be able to always travel, when life gets too busy and one part of life starts overpowering other parts of it. So, lately, I’ve been trying to find a few small things that I can count on:

1. Switch off internet especially of your work phone after working hours. No matter how urgent your mind might make it, you can always 99% of the times come back to it later.

2. Step out to get some fresh air : For me, since I would most of the time go to the gym in the afternoon or early evening, I had no reason pushing me to step out but just a 5-10 mins walk or just stepping out in the balcony to break the day can give your body an indication that it’s time to switch gears.

3. Don’t cancel any social plans : I’ve done this where I’ve cancelled social plans with my friends on weekdays because I had work to take care of. Social plans are a great way to refresh yourself and forget about work, so that you can start the next day afresh.

4. Try some new things : It could be a sports class, a new hobby or even a new place you want to try. When you have things you’re excited about outside work, life starts feeling a lot fuller.

5. Journalling : Journalling helps you introspect and identify your thoughts better, and once you become aware of certain patterns, you can actively try to make space for other parts of your life too.

This wasn’t supposed to be a travel post, but I still wanted to capture how Tallinn felt to me. Enjoy :)

Tallinn felt like we’ve entered into a different world altogether, We were in Tallinn, and despite it being the capital city, the streets felt unusually quiet and calm with a very few people on the roads or maybe it was the Sunday effect.

It’s also a UNESCO World Heritage site because of its cobblestone streets and medieval buildings, some of which date back to the 14th century. It felt like we were in an alternate universe where for one I could calm my mind which had been racing in all directions

Tallinn is divided into two parts the upper part and the lower part, upper part was mostly high class wealthy people while the lower part was occupied by traders and merchants, and the two were separated by a wall. The area around the Danish gardens honestly felt a little haunted to me because of its vibe and the statues around it (you’ll agree once you see the photos).

Tallinn is a relatively small city , so it’s possible that you can cover everything within a couple of hours, but even despite that getting lost in those cobblestone streets between medieval buildings is something I always look forward to, even though some of them felt a bit creepy to my friend.

Another place that felt surreal to me was the onion shaped cathedral. As beautiful as it is from outside, it also felt a lot different in terms of architecture than what I’ve seen so far, but also because I haven’t had a chance to explore the eastern side of Europe a lot, it was so calming just being inside the cathedral away from the noise.

Tallinn in general had that vibe and I was happy just to be able to experience this alternate universe far away from the hustle and bustle, where you can hear your own thoughts and just pause for a moment and switch off your brain.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment or share my work and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favorite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

My friend says one thing about me that I’m all in for the plot. Maybe if it isn’t clear yet let me explain. I feel life is the sum of experiences you have. Good or bad, good ones become memories and bad ones lessons, but I’m always all in for experiencing new things. So this trip also felt like a new experience I was going to live for a couple of days at least. And I guess the universe made sure it started with a bang.

As excited as I was for this trip, the travel was the least favorite part for me because I had to take two flights and it was going to be a long day. And guess what, just like that my first flight was delayed which meant I had less time to catch my second one. I had almost an hour to go through security, immigration etc., and seeing how crowded the airport was didn’t help either. I was almost questioning if I would make it to the second flight given everybody else was so chill except me.

The immigration officers were taking their sweet time, and here I was on constant calls with my siblings to keep them updated, while asking every other person if they were on the same flight. Luckily there were people, in fact a lot of them, taking the same flight to Marrakech as I was, so that made me a little at peace thinking that we’d all miss it together. And then finally, surprisingly, I made it to the flight and even got an upgrade.

It was a weird combination of being happily tired as I was enjoying Moroccan cookies and mint tea. But that didn’t last long, because this airline waited for an hour and a half for transit passengers. And by the time it was time to take off, there was low visibility due to fog. So I was in the flight for almost three hours for a flight that was supposed to be a 30-minute quick one.

That’s how my trip started, impatiently waiting to land at the destination. And when I finally did and saw my friend, I knew we had finally made that plan come true and broken the spell for years to come haha.

The next day was all about catching up, long conversations, great weather surrounded by palm and orange trees and a lot of cats because guess what, my friend is a cat lady. And let me not forget about the great food that we started with, which was this Moroccan delicacy with couscous and chicken. My friend and her mom had made it a point to have me try every single famous authentic Moroccan dish and I was all in for it.

The sun was very bright by the afternoon, and as we stepped out to go to a nearby mall, my first impression of the city was red buildings all around surrounded by colorful flowers, most likely bougainvillea. We were living a bit outside the city, so I saw big houses almost like kothis that you would call back in India. And if you haven’t guessed yet, Marrakech is also known as the Red City because of all its red buildings.

Some of the peculiar things I noticed in Marrakech were the yellow taxis everywhere and they’re cheaper than app taxis. Finding one was an experience in itself because my friend and I would sometimes spend 15–20 minutes waiting for one that was empty and ready to take us. They also run on a shared basis, so while the driver is dropping other passengers, for me it was almost like I was getting to experience other parts of the city that I wouldn’t otherwise see as a tourist.

The second day was about exploring Jemaa el-Fnaa, the center square of Marrakech. Here you’ll find everything from people with monkeys, to people singing, to snake charmers, to ladies applying henna, to all kinds of food like kebabs and breads, and juice vendors. And let me tell you, at least for juice vendors, it’s almost like a competition on who gets the customer, and they’re constantly calling out. I feel there’s never a dull moment in the square. By evening, people start sitting in circles and start singing and dancing.

We also decided to head to Ourika Valley the next day, it was about an hour and a half drive from Marrakech. The valley is surrounded by the Atlas Mountains, and the way to Ourika is very beautiful because you start seeing mountains, camels, colorful carpets, and once you’re closer, waterfalls and rivers. One of the most interesting things I found was that the restaurants are right by the river side, with Berber rugs and cushions laid out. It’s like having a picnic while the river flows next to you. You can dip your legs and enjoy lunch and the weather by the riverside. The water on that day was flowing quite fast due to rain in previous days and it was very cold.

The Ourika Valley is also known for Berber rugs which are handwoven by local women groups there. And Morocco is also famous for Argan oil, and luckily Ourika Valley is known for it too, so I got to try Amlou, which is argan oil and almond spread mixed with honey. It’s amazing with bread, almost like peanut butter. They also produce rose water. And also other things which are famous include Aker Fassi (cheek tint) and Nila, which I only knew because my other friend mentioned it. Morocco is also famous for its colorful ceramics, which are made in Safi.

All the days I was there, it almost became a ritual to start the day with bread, cream cheese and Moroccan delicacies, and let me not forget the famous tea. I really liked how they always had a steel kettle on the stove at all times in the morning and evening. And one thing I noticed, and I could be wrong, I feel Moroccans are big foodies because I was fed so much food throughout the day that I had to pause because I knew my digestive system isn’t used to so much food in a day.

There were a few more dishes that I tried, one of them was another couscous dish with lots of veggies including boiled carrots, pumpkin pieces, chicken and caramelized onions, along with buttermilk (can’t remember the name). My friend’s mom had it specially prepared for me and we took it to Ourika Valley for a picnic. That’s also where we ordered the famous tagine, which is meat with caramelized onions and prunes, usually eaten with bread. Tagine is not just a dish but also the earthen pot in which it is cooked and served.

On the last day, I really wanted to see Moroccan architecture, especially their palaces and intricate designs, so we went to Bahia Palace in Marrakech. I loved its courtyards, and it’s also built in a riad-style, so a traditional building built around a central courtyard is called a riad. The palace has multiple courtyards, including big marble-floored ones. The ceilings were adorned with intricate designs and the floors in some parts had beautiful tiles. And I just couldn’t get enough of those carved wooden doors, crafted by local artisans as mentioned on the information boards inside.

I would’ve loved to get a local guide who could tell me more about the palace’s history and the city, but spending it with my friend who grew up in Morocco and knows the ins and outs of the city felt like a local experience in itself. All the memories I made with her and her mom is something I will always treasure so much. I was amazed by their hospitality and how they made sure of every little thing and that I was comfortable at all times.

I’m just surprised it took us so long to make this happen, but every time I think about this trip it just fills my heart with so much warmth and memories that I’ll cherish forever. Hopefully I can be the same kind of host for my friend when someday she decides to visit my country. And I guess that’s the beauty of finding friends abroad, you get to share each other’s cultures.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment or share my work and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favorite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to write when I’m not traveling. Maybe I can write about my life or about the hundred different thoughts that constantly move through my mind, each heading in its own direction. The problem is, I never quite know how to begin.

So far, this year hasn’t gone the way I expected it to. I feel like I’m a little lost—trying to figure out what comes next in life, maybe finding something outside of work that genuinely excites me, maybe exploring other areas of my life, and maybe also finally finding a way out of this middle I’ve been in for the last few years.

Around this time last year, I remember feeling much more positive and excited about what was ahead. This year feels different. It feels like I’m missing that sense of excitement, and instead I’m mostly in the process of figuring things out. This constant thinking and figuring out can sometimes feel tiring.

I’ve also realized how many things there are that I could be doing. Maybe I should learn how to invest my money better, pick up a new language, become a better writer, or find a hobby I’m genuinely excited about. Maybe I should be more intentional about my weekends, about the way I spend my time, about the direction I want different aspects of my life to take.

Perhaps it’s the new free evenings that leave me alone with my thoughts. Or maybe I just need to fill them with more meaningful things. Either way, my mind often feels like it’s moving in too many directions at once, and sometimes that also means my emotions are all over the place.

So I thought the best way to begin might be with gratitude—for the good things that have already happened this year.

• One of the best things that this year started with would definitely be having my own place and coming back to it every day. Although I’m still trying to figure out a routine and it feels like there’s always some cleaning to do, I still feel at peace and more than happy to have found this place to call home. And let me tell you, nothing compares to just blasting some music and cooking or dancing to the beat.

• I turned 31 this year, and even though I get stressed time and again about growing older and not having everything figured out, I’m grateful for everything good or bad that has led me to this point in my life, which has helped me become this version I’m today.

• I saw snow this year—a fresh shower of it. I had expected a lot more, but I still managed to create an entire cozy evening around it, turning the moment into its own little vibe.

• Not all days are full of energy, but every now and then I get these small bursts where I try something new. Baking has been one of those things recently. I’ve been quite into making baked oats.

• A short work trip to Brussels was also a nice change of pace—along with Belgian chocolate and some really good food.

• Also, I’m always a big fan of time spent celebrating with good food and friends. Holi was one such occasion. My friends and I ended up cooking together, and I remember thinking how unexpectedly nice it was to sit around talking about music we all liked—everything from old classics to 90s songs to what’s playing today.

• And then there have been quiet weekends spent discovering new bakeries with a book in hand. Although I might need to slow down a little on that habit, because I’ve a sweet tooth, and if this doesn’t slow, I might end up having cavities again, which I’ve managed to prevent so far over the past few years.

Here’s to hoping I can add many more small moments to this list before the year ends.

Maybe finding yourself in the middle of things, or suddenly realizing how much there is to figure out—isn’t necessarily a bad place to be. Even though it can feel chaotic at times, perhaps that’s just part of growing up: learning to sit with the chaos long enough to find clarity on the other side. Maybe these are just the good kinds of problems to have.

I’m on the hunt for something meaningful to do on the weekends, preferably outdoors, besides reading and writing, so if you have any cool ideas, please drop them in. I can’t wait to hear them!

By the way, how has your year been so far? I would love to hear:)

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment or share my work and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favorite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

I was house hunting for more than a month and a half last year, going through all the listings wherever I could find, applying diligently every single day and attending viewings. While doing all this practical work, I went through a range of emotions, almost like an emotional journey—from feeling insecure about not having a place I could call home to coming to terms with the fact that this is part of the life I’ve chosen and that adulting often comes with this challenge. And along the way, I found myself also questioning what a true sense of home means to me.

When you first move abroad, you have this big excitement of starting a new life, building a cozy place that you can call yours, and maybe also dreaming that somehow you’ll find your people, and if you’re lucky, one day you’ll find a sense of home in them. I’ve had my share of dreams when I first started.

I had this big dream of sharing a cozy house with a flatmate who would become my best friend, and that we’d do everything together and be there for each other. But probably, I was naive, thinking it would be simple. Still, I was at least glad that I wasn’t scared when moving here; instead, I had all these dreams about the life I’d build.

The reality is, when you move abroad, the entire meaning of home shifts. The place that once was home becomes a memory, a nostalgia, somewhere you visit once or twice a year. And then your journey of finding a new home truly begins: you try to find your home in people, you try to find a space that feels cozy, and you try different things just to feel that sense of home.

They say home is a feeling, a memory, and also that you can find home in your people—and most of the time, you should be able to find home within. I still don’t know if I truly know the meaning of finding a sense of home within. I’m still trying to figure that out. But one thing I know for sure: it’s a long journey.

I’ve lived in two different places now, and this would be my third. The journey so far has been nothing short of crazy—sometimes in a good way, but also full of lessons I had to learn. For the past three years, every few months have been filled with stress—either dealing with flatmates who weren’t considerate of others, the stress of finding a new house, or dealing with landlords who tend to take advantage of tenants. It’s been a constant struggle to come across people who’ve disappointed me, despite our history.

I’ve realized a feeling of home starts with first having a safe space where you can come back every day and unwind without thinking twice. A space where you don’t have to hide in your room, a space where you can finally keep your guards down. You may think, how difficult can it really be?

But this is just one part of the picture. Living alone is an expensive option too, especially in a city like Amsterdam. It’s a constant trade-off between cost, convenience, and peace of mind. Even if you decide, “I choose my peace,” finding an apartment to live alone isn’t easy. The houses are way more expensive, and often, even if you get lucky and find an apartment that fits your budget, the landlord—like everywhere—doesn’t make it easy.

Maybe somewhere I’m realizing why, for some people, having their own house is so important. Because yes, it’s about a safe feeling, but more than ever, it’s also about being at peace, knowing that while anything happens, you at least have your home to come back to, where you can be your true self, whether you’re feeling happy, dejected, sad, or life hasn’t been treating you well. The house can be your buffer, a hiding place. Maybe if today you’re not ready to face the world, or if you feel too exhausted, you can just exist in that safe space.

I don’t know if I am finding the feeling of “home” in the wrong places, and maybe this feeling keeps changing, and maybe belonging takes time. But when immigration says, “Welcome back home,” I can smile now at the thought that I at least have a space to return to, where I can cherish and feel completely myself.

And who knows, maybe that feeling of home I keep thinking about might show up someday, or perhaps in somebody—or maybe, just maybe, I can become my own home.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment or share my work and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favorite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

Malaga had a comparatively longer flight than I would have liked. But my first impression once I landed and got off the plane wasn’t bad, because we’re surrounded by mountains, and as I got outside, I also saw palm trees, which instantly gave me a beach city vibe. I took a cab to reach the hotel and by the time I stepped out to explore the city, it was almost 4 in the evening and I was badly in hunt of a proper meal since I hadn’t had one since morning. Plus in Europe if you must know something, all the restaurants close at 3 pm after lunch and open again in the evening for dinner. I was out of luck, since all the places I went to in search of good food were closing, and I had to settle for an all-day brunch cafe. The coffee there was amazing, but sadly I didn’t enjoy the meal a lot, but at least I was feeling more energized and ready to go around the city with whatever energy and day light was left.

I started walking around the center, the main square had trees laden with oranges in the middle and was adorned with a big Christmas tree. The Christmas decoration was also on another level here. This year, the famous street, La Larios was decorated with so many Christmas lights and the theme was related to the Jesus. There was also a light show every 2 hours in the evening, and the entire street was filled with music, lights and people dancing with their families. It brought a smile to my face.

I also heard from the guide on the walking tour the next day that they change themes every couple of years and on one of the years, the theme was gothic-inspired since they don’t have a lot of Gothic buildings.

The squares of Malaga are quite small compared to other cities you might see in Europe. It’s also because it was ruled by Muslims for almost 800 years. They kept squares small as a feature of medieval Islamic city planning.

I also went to the Malaga port which was only a short walk away from the center, the big cruises were lined up, but the weather by that time was very cloudy and windy especially by the water. I could also see the Alcazaba and Gibralfaro forts from the port.

I saw a different culture in Malaga, instead of coffee cafes, there were a lot of espresso bars instead, which would serve pastries and specialty coffees. These were quite small spaces which didn’t have enough space to sit, but you can grab a good coffee and a small snack on the go.

It was getting cold, and there was a wind warning, so after getting some coffee and a donut, I decided to head back to my hotel after getting some dinner on the way. Luckily the hotel was only a 2-minute walk from the bus stop, so the bus was the most convenient way to get there.

The next day once I had a good sleep and felt more refreshed, the plan was to take a day trip to Nerja, a small coastal town which was also famous for its stunning Mediterranean views from the Balcón de Europa (Balcony of Europe). Unfortunately I didn’t get a lot of sun as I would’ve liked on this trip but on this particular day the sun was at its brightest, it felt amazing with temperatures around 17-18 degrees.

One thing I noticed was Malaga was definitely less International than other cities in Spain like Barcelona, so everybody speaks Spanish and a lot of people didn’t speak English, so it took some time to also figure out things at the bus stop and get tickets from the machine.

By the time I was on the bus it was already 12.30 pm, I sat on the window seat with sun falling on my face, the bus was going around mountains with white houses lined with brown roofs, the sky was blue, my head felt heavy, because I hadn’t had a chance to have a proper breakfast. So, I was looking forward to getting there while being lost in my thoughts.

Finally when we did, I followed other people getting off the bus thinking given it’s a small town, everybody must be going towards the same thing, the most iconic thing, the Balcony of Europe, and I was right. While on the way, I stopped by an espresso bar, got some matcha, and something to eat, so that I can eat it while enjoying the beautiful view.

The sun was beautiful but it was also quite windy, but once I sat down and finally ate something, it finally felt peaceful, and I got enough energy to go around this coastal town. It had cobble stones, a small church, a cute Sunday flea market. I found myself lost in a lot of alleys, and hidden corners where I got amazing views of the Mediterranean. There were walls lined up with beautiful pots and doors with different colors, I could almost imagine how it would feel like living there with all your family and friends living close by, surrounded by beautiful water, hidden corners, local restaurants and beautiful cobblestone roads and maybe where everyone knew everybody else.

I was thinking to stay until sunset since I could imagine how beautiful the sunset would be, but I was also tired, and there wasn’t much to do and I still had a few more hours to kill, so I took an early bus to Malaga city. Once I came back, I decided to try Spanish tapas, which I thoroughly enjoyed before heading back to the hotel.

The next day I had booked a walking tour of the city, and it also was my last day in the city. I decided to start with a brunch at a good place, since I had missed out on breakfast the past two days, I decided to start my day slow. It was Sunday and there was a big marathon in Malaga. The roads were blocked and public transport was also paused. But at least my walking tour wasn’t cancelled, and I almost luckily made it on time.

We started from the main square Bishop’s Square, went to the famous La Larios street, where the tour guide told us the flats here might be as expensive as €5000 per sqm . We then went towards the famous cathedral of Malaga, which is Gothic, Renaissance and Baroque, all in one, and was built on a former Mosque, the part was also called the Gate of Forgiveness.

Malaga is also the city where famous painter Pablo Picasso was born. We saw the building where Picasso lived when he was very young . He also like his father started painting pigeons. Picasso’s dove symbol of peace became iconic later. He also named his daughter Paloma, which is a Spanish word and female name and means Dove. Picasso created around 13,500 paintings and drawings in his lifetime. There is also a statue of him sitting in one of the parks gazing towards the city center.

After the tour was over, I decided to head to Castillo de Gibralfaro in the mountains for a small city hike. It’s a great place to get a panoramic view of the city, with mountains on one side and water on the other, with the city in between. By the time I got down, I was already hungry, so I decided to get something to eat followed by some souvenir shopping.

Malaga wasn’t a different surprise for me, it was almost like Nice, surrounded by mountains and beaches , but maybe that’s what I was looking for. I was quite happy with the weather, it felt comfortable, a good change from gloomy and wet winters in Amsterdam. I think I felt better after I came back, maybe less tired, and more energized and also with a new respect and motivation for home cooked food.

Probably this trip was more about just change of scenery, a slow, easy trip where I could take my own time, I could go by the day as I wanted to, come back and relax as I wanted. And just forget and take a mini escape from daily life and sometimes an escape is not as bad as we say travel sometimes is, because sometimes that’s all you need.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment or share my work and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favorite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

Thanks for giving me so many experiences, a few surprises, and great memories. Thanks for letting me know myself a little better, finding solace in some people, and pushing myself wherever I could with the best I had. Last year, for the first time in my life, I did a vision board, almost around the same time as this year, where I placed everything I wanted to achieve in different aspects of my life. Of course, I didn’t end up fulfilling everything. Maybe the idea was never to achieve everything on it, but to not give up on them—to keep pushing even when things got tough, when it looked like things wouldn’t work out, and to have that unlimited faith in the universe.

At some point, it felt like this was it—like my patience and energy were finally rubbing off on the universe and everything was coming together. I went on two great hikes this year, made a career pivot, got some unexpected opportunities, and created great memories with people I didn’t expect. I focused more on weight training this year and made sure I was taking more protein, which also improved my immunity—something we don’t give enough credit to.

I took a few solo trips this year. Even when I felt tired, and being alone in a new country felt like a lot, I still went—and came back more refreshed and with a new confidence that no matter how tired I am, I can always do it. I still need to write about the last one I took, but maybe that’ll happen next year.

I tried new things like golf, took Dutch lessons, and explored different short-term hobbies like sketching and painting—things I struggled to stay consistent with. As we approached the second half of the year, life got a lot busier than I had expected. I tried my best to stay consistent with writing, even though it was all over the place in the last few months, and I didn’t meet the goal I had set for myself this year. But I also knew I’d always come back to it, so I worried a little less.

There were also moments that made me reflect deeply on the life I’ve chosen for myself. They made me question the meaning of home, and what it truly means to me—maybe more on that later. I also realized that you might think you’ve learned enough lessons and that everything is finally bearing fruit, but sometimes there are more lessons to be learned and more growing to be done. That can make you question things. I may have been disappointed at times—in people and in circumstances—but I’m purely grateful that I somehow didn’t have enough time to overthink what didn’t work out, which helped me overcome those moments faster than I expected.

Anyway, what’s a year without its highs and lows? The best part was that there were far more moments where I was laughing and smiling than moments of disappointment. Maybe I was tired nonetheless, but not in a bad way. That makes this one of the contenders for the best years I’ve ever had. I’m purely glad—more than proud—that I made it to the other side of the year, and that it’s finally time to slow down, relax, recharge, and take care of myself in the best way I can.

Here’s to many more years to come!

Leaving you with a line I heard somewhere that stayed with me.

See you next year :)

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

I wasn’t mentally ready to go, honestly — even after the 10-hour flight, it still felt like two weeks would be such a long time. But the days just came and went so quickly. Luckily, I wasn’t as jet-lagged as I expected. I was sleeping like a baby, waking up at 6 in the morning, and by 10pm my battery would be dying.

At first, being in the US didn’t feel very different, but as days went by and I walked around more, exploring different restaurants and cafes, it started feeling both different and strangely familiar. Sometimes it reminded me of London with all those tall buildings in the downtown(we call it city center in Europe), sometimes of Amsterdam because it was walkable and you could bike around. And the best part — the water. Seattle is surrounded by it, and that made everything feel even more beautiful.

I think I was lucky Seattle was my first US city, because it’s genuinely beautiful. You’re surrounded by water and mountains at all times, the food scene is amazing, and the city is built on hills — meaning a lot of steep roads. If you decide to walk, be ready for a good cardio session. But the views at the top? Totally worth it. A win-win: cardio + views.

I was working the entire 2 weeks, so on weekdays I mostly explored restaurants and a couple of areas around my office. Still, it was amazing , I tried so many cuisines. I tried to eat healthy but you know how it is, when you’re eating out for 2 weeks it’s almost impossible to do it entirely healthy, but I tried my best.

I also got to experience something completely new: watching an ice hockey game in a stadium. It was a pre-season game, but still it was such an experience. I had never watched any sport in a stadium in my life, so this being my first made it extra special.

Since I was there for 2 weeks, I had a weekend off, and I decided to take the ferry to Bainbridge Island. I’m so glad I did — the ferry ride had those never-ending views. You can even do whale-watching in Seattle(or maybe close to it), but the tickets were sold out when I checked. Bainbridge itself was a lovely surprise if you want to get away from the city. It has hiking trails, it’s by the water, and I found this cute old coffee shop called Pegasus. The muffin I tried called Morning Glory was so good that I still remember the name.

I didn’t get a chance to try as many bakeries and cafes as I wanted to since I didn’t have enough time, but I still managed a couple of coffee and matcha stops.

Oh my god, I forgot to tell you the most important thing — the weather. It was amazing! I got so lucky. It was sunny every single day, and some days the temperature went as high as 21–22°C, which was perfect. I didn’t even need a jacket. And autumn was around the corner — Seattle gets a stunning autumn with so much color everywhere. Definitely worth waiting for.

Seattle is also the place where the first Starbucks was opened. I went to the one at Pike Place, which opened in 1976 and is now the iconic original Starbucks that gets a lot of visitors every day.

And yes — I did so many things for the first time. Even going to Target felt like an experience. I know, it’s just a store, but it felt new to me.

We also visited the historical Japan town based on book a colleague was reading. We went to visit the Panama Hotel, which is quite old , it was built in 1910 and it still has belongings left behind by Japanese-American families during World War II. Many of those items are still preserved.

Seattle doesn’t feel like an old European city because most buildings are relatively new. That’s because the city was rebuilt after the Great Seattle Fire of 1889, which destroyed much of downtown.

My office area was around Fremont and it was amazing, you walk for 5 minutes, and suddenly you’re by the water. The walk was always spectacular. Apparently there are a lot of trolls around too I found one in Seattle and heard there was one on Bainbridge Island. I don’t know what was the significance behind them, if somebody knows, please comment, I would love to know.

Seattle is a very scenic place — just a short drive and you’re already around mountains, lakes, waterfalls. I visited one called Snoqualmie Falls. And of course, Seattle has a lot of big tech companies. For me, those 2 weeks felt both the longest and the shortest at the same time, but I enjoyed every bit of it.

Maybe I wasn’t mentally ready to go, but the city surprised me in so many ways. I came back with so many memories. And guess what , I wasn’t even that jet-lagged when I returned! There were so many things I enjoyed. I don’t know if I’ll miss the city, but I will absolutely not miss the same breakfast we had every single day at the hotel.

And the joke is on me — I thought I was eating healthy by taking scrambled eggs for protein, but later someone told me hotel buffets often use processed liquid eggs. So, yeah!

Visiting the US also gave me a different perspective on how life works there — a nice perspective, compared to my life here in Europe. After such a fast-paced two weeks, it took time to ease back into my slower routine, and I actually missed doing so many things every day. But there’s beauty in both.

Busy days make us feel alive because every hour counts — you’re doing a lot of things, learning, feeling, connecting. Laid-back days have their own beauty too: they give you time to re-live those moments, rest, and recover. Don’t you think we need both to feel alive?

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

When I wake up in the morning and open my windows for fresh air, listening to people around me makes me feel alive. It makes me feel like I exist, and that the world is still working. It hasn’t come to a standstill. And the best part is, I always have a choice to close the window if I want to.

Now I might be exaggerating a bit when it comes to Ireland, but I’m comparing it to Amsterdam, where I live in the center and love every part of it.

But this time, when I went there after a year, for some reason, it seemed different. Maybe I was looking at it from a different perspective, or maybe it was just the time that made me forget, and maybe I had forgotten it somewhat. I could still remember certain roads and things, and the city center. It felt calmer compared to the last visit. Maybe it was my inner self reflecting. And can I say—the weather this time felt better to me, or maybe it was because my inner weather was almost sunny?

Now that I’m in this hike era of my life, not sure if it’s related to turning 30 this year, I’d give up being in a city without thinking twice to spend some time in nature. Ireland, being an oasis of nature, I wasn’t going to miss a chance of hiking. We had a lot of options, but how could you resist a place with lakes surrounded by mountains? So, we settled on Glendalough.

I’ve been to Glendalough before, and I remembered the place, but we never hiked before. We never went around the mountains, to reach the highest point from which everything seemed really small. There’s a different kind of calmness there—the sound of nature at its best. Somewhere, a bee is buzzing; the wind whispers; sometimes it rains, and then the sun comes out. Water flows, sheep graze, and you slowly take in the entire view to capture it in your heart.

But then there are also paths with no views. You try your best to see beyond and far, but all you see is nothing—or a view you are not a fan of. At that very moment, you get an epiphany: maybe I’m learning something about life. Most of the time, it’s ordinary. Most days, there are no views, and we are just trying to reach something. But then, on rare days, the amazing views make it all worth it. You have to go through the ordinary paths to reach a point where you can enjoy a wholesome, beautiful view.

The hike started by crossing the lower lake and reaching the upper lake through a path surrounded by trees. The moment you land in Glendalough, you see mountains all around—these are the Wicklow Mountains. Only when you reach the upper lake does the real hike begin. You start climbing the mountains along a well-defined trail.

The trail is a mix of wooden steps and as you start coming down, the trail changes to a rocky path that isn’t smooth.There are ups and downs and sometimes steep sections. But as you start coming down again, you find yourself in a valley, and it’s important to not forget to look around and capture the view while you’re trying your best to cross those rocks carefully. We even saw a couple of deer grazing in the grass.

At some point as we were close to completing the hike, I couldn’t wait for this rocky part to end because for one it puts a lot of pressure on your toes and I really didn’t have my hiking shoes on. I couldn’t wait to finish the hike, to sit, and feel the relief that you get after walking for so many hours in a row.

But even though in all this tiredness and urge to sit so badly, there’s this peace and calmness you feel. You finally get the chance to run wild with your thoughts, without something distracting you every moment. You realize how vast nature is—you see trees going through the seasons, birds and animals living their lives, water flowing its course—and somewhere in all this, you realize there’s so much life going on around you.

And just like them, your life is moving too—sometimes thriving, sometimes changing seasons, and sometimes just going by.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you’ve ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you’re feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

While July was something along those lines, I was doing so many things at once and I hardly registered it except for a few different things that I did. But I was happy when August came in. It meant I would have more time to slow down. It started on a good note with me exploring another faraway city, where it took longer to get there than the time I actually spent at the destination. But I was happy just thinking it’s not always about the destination but the journey itself, isn’t it?

But then slowly, I saw the items on my checklist, and I started completing them one by one, sometimes at the same time. And before I knew it, I couldn’t wait for August to end. I was overwhelmed, I couldn’t sleep well, things wouldn’t stop playing in my mind. Although I didn’t let the other parts of my life come to a standstill — I was still working out, cooking my own food, watching my favorite show — all of it had to be squeezed into a dedicated time so that I could make room for these extra things I was doing.

You know what I realized in all this? I had gotten used to doing things all the time in these past two months, and when I finally had time, I was quite restless, like I needed to find the next thing to work on right away. I couldn’t just sit and be bored — I had to be doing something. That feeling of restlessness is overwhelming in a different sense. Yes, I was tired, but I also started feeling a little hollow, like all this while I had just distracted myself with my checklist, and maybe I’d forgotten how to enjoy day-to-day life. There was nothing I was looking forward to, not even writing.

And that followed with another realization: how important hobbies are. For example, if you are just spending even 15 minutes every day on something you genuinely enjoy and look forward to, that’s enough to make your day fulfilling and give you a sense of comfort. When we get too busy, like it happens sometimes, I think that time passes by quite quickly. But when we finally have some time, you don’t have anything worth looking forward to if not for hobbies — because how much can you relax and watch Netflix?

I’ve also decided that once a month, I want to do something different, something new, so that my brain can remember that time. Even if it’s the smallest thing, at least the month won’t just blur into another entry that my brain doesn’t register and just forget.

So tell me: Were you able to make sense of August, or did it just slip by?

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you've ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you're feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

For one, I wasn’t alone—I had my brother with me, and I couldn’t just sit there all alone. We had a long distance to cover. This was the kind of hike where if you decide to hike beyond the middle point, you are bound to complete it fully if you want to go back home.

It all started when I had to go to London for a training, and I knew I had to make the best out of it. So the planning started—how would I spend my time there? This time, it had to be done in advance. An amazing idea struck me: I’ve been wanting to go on a hike for some time and this could be the perfect time, especially since it’s summer. I did some research around hikes from London and came across Seven Sisters and the Cliffs of White Dover. Among these, Seven Sisters seemed to be an easier one for beginners and had a defined trail path. I convinced my brother and we started planning where to start, finally chose a day, and booked our train tickets.

I was beyond excited. The weather looked promising—until it didn’t—on the day of my journey. It was supposed to rain explicitly that weekend—the irony. I arrived on a Saturday, spent my time around London visiting museums, watched a play for the first time, and had some great food. We were going to hike the next day; the weather didn’t look good, it showed it was going to rain. Still, we decided to go since we had already booked our train tickets. While we were on our way on the train, it got even darker, and it started to rain once we reached there.

We decided to start from Eastbourne and then end our hike at Seaford, from where we could get the train back to London. It generally depends on you; a lot of people also start vice versa. But my brother liked the idea of building up the view, so we started from Eastbourne town. We got our coffees for much-needed caffeine. I bought a hoodie because I was underprepared for this kind of weather—but it’s not my mistake, it was supposed to be summer (but I did forget these are UK summers we’re talking about). And then we got ready to start the hike going through the city. It was still raining, might I add.

We reached near the English Channel at Eastbourne, where a triathlon was happening. That gave us some hope, because these people were going to do it despite the weather, and seeing people around sort of cheered us up. So we made a plan: we would go until the lighthouse, and then decide if we wanted to go further based on the weather and how we felt.

We started walking towards the trail path, and as we started climbing up, the weather started clearing up. I was getting excited again, because what else do you need when you are hiking but amazing weather? It was looking quite promising. We started walking through the path surrounded by flowers and long grass—it was a little muddy.

We could see the entire city from up there and finally, as we started approaching the top, we could start seeing the water on the side, and might I add the colour of water was just beautiful. After a mini photo session came our first target of the day, the lighthouse. We reached a point where, as far as I could see, it was just green plains, and trees, a lot of wind, a few people around, and a lot of calming silence. My brother and I were having the talks of life while doing the hike, and I could say I couldn’t have asked for a better company.

The weather had finally cleared up, the sun was finally out, and my brother—can’t imagine—knows the importance of sunscreen more than I do, because he started applying it all over. And me being me, thinking no, I don’t need it because I don’t want to get all sweaty, but still applying unevenly, got sun-burned. So we happily continued our hike. The landscape remained the same, but we started seeing our first chalk cliff—or maybe the cliffs had already started when we were at the lighthouse, for the lighthouse was at the bottom of the cliffs near the water.

We would go up the hill and then come down, only to be ready to climb another hill. Some of the ups and downs were quite steep, and going down the hill you had to make sure you were walking with a frog’s feet. Finally, we made it to the middle point of the hike, which is called the Birling Gap, where I think we reached around in 3 hours. It was already around 3 by the time we reached here. We took some rest, had some lunch, and went around a souvenir shop, which seemed interesting. They also had a lot of books which were second hand and you could buy them at low prices.

Thinking about reading a book in that kind of landscape sounded like a fantastic idea, but we had to complete our hike to Seaford. We saw a lot of cars and buses at Birling Gap, realising that there were a lot more people around. Maybe there was a way to go back from here by bus, but we didn’t explore that option.

The second leg of the hike was exciting only for an hour or two, after which—can I say—I was a little bored. Or maybe not bored, restless or a little tired too, because it was the same going up the hill and coming down. Some of them were quite steep, but in the middle, somehow we kept on finding our muses which kept us entertained. Sometimes it was the sheep, and other times the horses, and when we couldn’t find any animal, we would just compete with a few people that were around to see how they got ahead of us. My brother, surprisingly, was quite patient and less tired; he was the one keeping my energy high. We would take a pit stop here and there.

Finally, after the longest last hour of our hike, and after never-ending cliffs, we reached the end, and we could finally see the beach in Seaford. But it just didn’t end here—we still had a lot of walking to do to reach the city, to get to the roads and human civilization. I think it took us another hour and a half to finally reach the city. A lot of credit here goes to my brother, who was my navigator for the entire hike—might I say also for keeping my energy and myself in check hahah.

We finally reached an inn and decided to get some dinner before we took the train back. Can you imagine this inn took an hour to get our order? We had just ordered quite easy dishes, which, according to me, were easy to put together. After we were done, I was done with walking for the day, so we decided to take a cab to the station, where the cab driver suggested taking 2 paracetamols if we had completed the entire hike. That was hilarious. By the time we got home, I’ve never been this happy to see the bed as I was that day, and I knew I was going to have one of the best sleeps.

I definitely cherish those days, might I add, where I am so tired that I just need to put my head on the bed and I am in deep sleep.

This was one of the most amazing days of my life. After seeing the forecast and how it was raining in the morning, I never thought it would turn into such a bright sunny afternoon. But I guess we didn’t give up; we decided to make a plan and be fully prepared. It made me realise my body was capable of a lot more, and right there at that moment, I was nothing but grateful and happy that we decided to show up. And somehow everything worked, and the day surprised us in a way we never imagined.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you've ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you're feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

You can still learn to live with loneliness and maybe even come to embrace it, but what about your fears? What happens to them? Probably, half the time, we’re too scared to face them and just run away, and the other half, we’re too distracted by our own lives. While life continues, those fears always stay in the back of your mind, haunting you until you find the courage to face them and finally decide to do something about them.

I have had several fears in life, as we all do, and they are always in the back of my mind, constantly resurfacing from time to time. After moving abroad, one of my greatest fears has been living away from my parents. Although video calls have been a great invention, and seeing them and talking with them every day helps a lot, there are days when we only talk for a couple of minutes. Then there are days when they’re going through something but won’t share it with us. Days when they don’t have enough strength or don’t feel like cooking a meal for themselves, so they order food from outside—which sometimes doesn’t sit well with their stomachs. Days when they struggle to get through because of physical pain. Probably days when they feel the need for a support system, and we are not around.

They are going through everything on their own, big or small. We are not there to take them out on walks, to help them exercise, or to cook food on days they don’t feel like it or don’t have enough strength. I live with this realization most days, and on other days, I am simply too distracted by my own life. But on these days, it hits hard—the fear of not being around them. Then I start to question: is it really worth the helplessness I sometimes feel, the longing to be at home, which now seems to happen more often? Will I really be missing out on something if I go back? Am I really being selfish?

There are a lot of “what ifs” that come into the picture. And then, one of the biggest “what ifs” that scares me the most is: what if, God forbid, something happens and I’m not around? What if I’m not able to make it on time? Will I ever be able to forgive myself? I’m scared to even imagine.

These thoughts have been on my mind a lot lately, and I recently came across a series called Ghar Wapsi that deeply resonated with me. For those of you who are living away from home and haven’t watched it, I would highly recommend it. It’s such a real story. I won’t go into much detail here, but it’s the story of a small middle-class family in Indore. They have a small business, and the elder son is working in an IT company to make money. He also sends some of it back home. He’s the dependable one but has been too busy in his corporate world, loaded with work, that he doesn’t have time for his family or himself.

One time, he visits home after too long because he’s been laid off. He finally gets to live with his family as a family member and not as a guest for the first time in the longest time. He finally realizes how many things he’s been missing out on. It’s an emotional journey where he comes to understand a lot of things and has to finally confront himself and make some tough decisions in life. Both the characters and the story feel too real, and somewhere, I think each one of us will be able to relate. It shows the value of friendships, living with your family, and being there for each other. It also shows the reality of the corporate world—something we all, working there, are quite aware of but tend to forget from time to time.

A couple of things hit hard and one of them especially being:

It also makes you question a couple of things in life:

• Are we prioritising our jobs over our family? Maybe not consciously, but sometimes.

• Are we too busy running the rat race we’ve created for ourselves? Too busy to know what’s happening with our siblings or parents?

• Do we have time for ourselves—to think about where life is heading and whether we are really happy with how it is? Is this how we imagined life to be?

• Do we have the time to foster real friendships?

Two years ago, when I made the decision to move abroad, I was too busy figuring out my life. I wanted my own independence, my own space and time to find myself. And I wouldn’t change that for anything—it was, hands down, one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. But what I hadn’t imagined, or rather considered, was that I would also be living with this fear that comes and goes, and somewhere, this guilt of being selfish.

Still, I believe it’s important to make those choices and live the life you want because that takes courage. The regret of not doing it can eat you alive. It’s also only when you live that life that you truly understand what is important. The things you cared about back then—do they still matter? Because with time, you change, and the definition of the life you want changes as well.

This is a piece I wrote last year but never got the chance to publish. I had a similar conversation with someone recently, and it reminded me of how often I’ve had this same conversation with many people I’ve met. Today, while looking through my drafts, I finally read it again and it felt like I was ready to share it.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you've ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you're feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

This time working on many things at the same time

With so many interests together, it’s just hard to keep up

Or should I say I feel lucky to have found so many things that excite me.

It could be temporary. But who said

Those things can’t make you happy?

Living each moment as it comes

Finally finding the courage to do certain things

Feeling the high and anxiety at the same time

Slowly allowing myself to let loose.

Isn’t this what we call living?

Showing up for people in the ways we know

Showing up for myself more often than not

Taking that one step at a time,

Whether in the highs or the lows.

Isn’t this what we call living?

This month made me realize

There’s so much more I can handle

So much more I’m capable of

Only if I keep going

Giving my best along the way

Without caring so much about the outcome.

Isn’t this what we call living?

Isn’t experience a valuable thing in itself?

Why care about the end goal

When the journey can be beautiful on its own,

Only if we don’t overthink,

And keep walking, or even crawling.

Isn’t this what we call living?

What Unfolded

• A hike to Seven Sisters — yes, I finally did it. A hiking trip. And can I tell you how happy and accomplished I felt? I’ll write about it soon. The only thing I missed was sketching the beautiful cliffs.

• Learning Dutch again and meeting new people in class. Hard to keep up, but I’ve come at least a little bit far.

• Finally, finally finished my first book of the year: The Palace of Illusions.

• Pistachio cookies from M&S — I brought them back from London, since we don’t get them here.

• Discovering another city in the Netherlands, looking for hidden treasures one at a time.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you've ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you're feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

The year started slower than expected, but I had a tiny little plan and a vision board that I somehow ended up making during my time back home in December.

If I look back now—have I achieved some of the things on my vision board? Maybe yes. But have I achieved the top 3 things is the big question—and the answer is maybe I am not even close. But at least some of them are a work in progress. Yes, it gets tiring, sometimes I live too much in my head, but there’s one thing I am at peace with: that I am at least working towards them, the best way I know how and with whatever I have, and figuring out the rest all on the way.

Another thing I figured was that I had this newfound hope this year—that even though I don’t see things yet, what’s meant for me will find a way to find me. And I guess that did help reduce a lot of pressure on myself when things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to. I am showing up for myself continuously and am learning to also show up for the people who I’ve luckily come across.

Having said that, I can’t deny that I don’t feel a little awkward telling my age at a doctor’s appointment or anywhere else. But guess we’ll have to get used to it.

June started while I was in Italy enjoying the European summer—or maybe not, because the sun was so bright. And can I say nobody was spared? We all were dehydrated, a little cranky, and slightly exhausted. But nonetheless, now that I look back, we did learn a bit about the city, and the trip did have some highlights—enough for me to remember this trip by.

This trip was followed by a long weekend—can I say the last long weekend of the year before December? Thinking about it makes me depressed. But I guess I’ll have to survive. Maybe I might use a sick leave or two—but of course, I am not planning to get sick anytime soon.

On the long weekend, I had a chance to meet a fellow Substacker . We had great conversations over coffee and we could relate to a lot of things. It feels so good to think that a virtual connection can turn into a real-life meet-up, and somewhere someone is living the same life and going through the same things but dealing in his/her own ways.

It’s still Spring until June 20th here in the Netherlands, but it sometimes feels like summer for a day or two. And when I say summer, I mean temperatures reaching 30 degrees and more—which doesn’t sound that bad, right? But when the temperature remains the same even at 10 at night, and you feel worse inside than outside your house, you know it’s one of those real hot days, where everybody complains "why is it so hot?"—including me.

On one of these days, the plan was to go to the beach—and guess what—it was cloudy the entire day. But despite that, I think I was still excited about the beach, although still thinking: will I get lucky to see the sunset? Because this is the Netherlands we are talking about, where the sun can be here one moment, it could be raining the next. So I was a little hopeful.

And I guess it’s almost like I had manifested it—I finally saw the sunset! One of the first sunsets of this Spring/Summer, and I hope many more to come.

Guess what, this year it’s definitely one of the warmest Springs we have had in a while. And this time, I went to Breda on a fun team day with my colleagues. I didn’t imagine that I would have such a great time—where I ended up having a lot of conversations, like real ones, about life with my director. He gave so many good pieces of advice, especially his words about being yourself everywhere in life, and about how intention is what matters the most.

We ended up listening to the love stories of all our older colleagues, and somewhere while all this was happening, I suddenly realised that this is what a feeling of belonging feels like. I no longer have to pretend; I can be myself to the greatest extent. There was room for mistakes, and expressing yourself—your thoughts, your opinions—was something always encouraged. And somehow, I felt somebody had my back.

That was the feeling I returned home with that evening. And sometimes this is what I love: you get the most from the place you least expect it.

How amazing would it be if you could keep this feeling with you forever? Maybe if only you can have your own back most of the time, and you can trust yourself a little more every day. Isn’t it?

While I am loving these long and sometimes perfect days, they are going by at the speed of light. Before I know it, it’s almost the end of the day—working my day job, exercising, getting my meals sorted three times a week, and somehow finding a little time for myself. But I guess I am just grateful to be living this part of life.

Yes, there are days where I overthink certain things, but I can also recognise them quite fast, let them stay for a while, and then move on. Days where I get to challenge my body in some way and sweat like a pig. Days when I am just watching the sky and realising I can see planes every few minutes. A lot of days where I’m just distracted, and also surprising days where I have a lot of focus. Days when even the tiniest thing has made my day, and days when I get ambitious and scared at the same time.

I am just grateful for every single one of those days, because maybe this is the proof of just being—and becoming—with all those emotions at once. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be.

Few Things That Inspired Me This Month

• inspired me to sketch, and I have never been this happy. Here’s what I tried so far—hopefully there will be many more to come.

• City trips inspired me to go on a hiking trip. Hopefully, we can make that happen soon.

• Apparently, I love Korean dramas—also because they have a way of conveying messages in a subtle way. I love how they portray human emotions. Recently, I watched this drama called Tastefully Yours, and somewhere the bits and pieces of it made sense.

  • Small lessons that we tend to forget sometimes—like how food can bring people together. How the main character doesn’t compromise on ingredients even though her restaurant isn’t making money. How to live with integrity, and how she’s learned not to let disappointments get in the way.

Some of the pieces I enjoyed Reading :

Didn’t know , you had such an amazing travel story hidden away, I loved reading it through and through:)

anotherBlog

Taking the road less travelled

It’s the August of the late 15th century. The skies above Spain are clear — great for stargazing or playing that game where you convince yourself a cloud looks like Hrithik Roshan doing yoga. The rain Gods have taken the day off, the bazaars are buzzing, and the people of Spain are generally vibing. Sure, they’re still 518 years away from winning a Worl…

Read more

a year ago · 40 likes · 38 comments · Abhishek Singh

Loved reading both your pieces — more power to you:)

Hargun’s Substack

Mujhe tumse Ishq nahi, bas Uns tha

There’s one word I’ve always choked on. Not because it’s heavy. But because it’s everywhere…

Read more

a year ago · 26 likes · 17 comments · Hargun Kaur Sachdev

Hargun’s Substack

The most poetic thing is normalcy

Here’s a truth many people are not ready to hear…

Read more

a year ago · 28 likes · 24 comments · Hargun Kaur Sachdev

I am still reading The Palace of Illusions, hoping to complete it soon. But I would love to hear any recommendations you might have for me.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you've ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you're feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

From the past three years, I have been to so many cities, some of them being the famous cities of the world, including this time.

I was in Italy—in its one of the famous cities, ‘Florence’—which is also called its cultural capital. Before going there, I had this notion that maybe you can appreciate a city more once you visit it the second time, because the second time maybe you are not really a tourist, since you would already recognise a lot of things.

But for some reason, the appreciation didn’t come to me as I expected. Instead, it felt like any other city. I couldn’t truly appreciate it until the very end when I heard all the little stories that made this city. Stories like how it took an artist 21 years to build a bronze gate called the Gates of Paradise—or where the name of the city comes from (Florence from Florentia, which means “flourishing” in Latin, not directly from Flora, the stem of “flower”)—or how the most famous family made Florence accessible to common people (maybe you can guess which family I’m talking about toward the end), or even who made the first Renaissance building.

That made me realise cities are very much like human beings. Unless you don’t know the story behind them, you can hardly appreciate them for what or who they are and what they have been through. Stories are what make us and the cities alive. So I am going to tell you the story of this great city, Florence, because that’s where we spent the most time in. I’ll try my best to simplify it for you from as much as I know.

A family called the Medici used to be very famous in Florence. They were into banking and founded the Medici Bank, which then turned out to be the largest bank in Europe and it made them quite influential. There were three successive generations of the Medici—Cosimo, Piero, and Lorenzo. They valued art and also wanted to create a legacy. Cosimo [technically his father Giovanni began the work, but Cosimo continued it] commissioned an architect called Brunelleschi to create the first Renaissance building —the Church of San Lorenzo. Brunelleschi later became known as the founding father of the Renaissance.

If you don’t know what the Renaissance is, don’t worry—I didn’t know it myself either. So, here in simple words, the word Renaissance means "rebirth" in French, and these buildings were inspired by ancient Greek and Roman architecture—domes, columns, arches, and symmetry.

Brunelleschi was also the one who created the dome for what we call the Duomo today. Piero, the second in the generation, died early due to his chronic illness and that’s when Lorenzo came in. Lorenzo was the one who recognised the talent of young Michelangelo and brought him into the Medici household to study and learn among Florence’s top thinkers and artists.

Michelangelo later created one of the most famous sculptures he is known for today, called ‘David’. The statue of David is not a real person; it’s based on a depiction from the Bible where David represents a biblical hero, moments before he defeats Goliath, the giant warrior, with his five stones and a sling.

Now you might think, why is David’s sculpture naked? As I mentioned above, the Renaissance was all about Greek and Roman art, which depicted gods a lot and put a lot of value on the human body and mind. So basically, David’s nude body shows that the strength comes from within.

Lorenzo earned the name of "Magnificent" because of his contribution to art and bringing political stability. But somewhere, some people weren’t happy with him—like the pope at that time—because Lorenzo was conflicting with some of his political interests, and he ended up joining hands with the Pazzi family, who were then enemies of Lorenzo due to power, wealth, and influence.

They both conspired together to end the Medici family, but unfortunately, instead, Lorenzo’s brother was the one who was killed. As a result, the entire Pazzi Family was punished, and they were banned from Florence. After this Pazzi episode was over, Lorenzo thrived, and he became an even greater patron of the arts, and art reached a new peak in Italy.

Unfortunately, Lorenzo died early as well, and his sons couldn’t take his legacy forward because one of the sons became a pope, and another wasn’t as talented or skilled as Lorenzo. So, the Medici empire almost came to a standstill until other branches—descended from younger sons or cousins—came in and took over the Medici empire, and they ruled for another two centuries.

Some of the other great facts we heard were about:

• During the Renaissance period, people used to live in 2–3 story townhouses, and they had major sanitation problems. It was only after the 1900s that the lifespan increased and the actual demographic growth happened because of a better sewage system.

• The Vasari Corridor, a 1 km long corridor, was built in the heart of Florence so that the Medici family could move safely and privately between their residence and the seat of government. It also ran over Ponte Vecchio. It originally passed over shops selling meat and fish. The smell and noise were unfit for a duke, so they were ordered out and replaced with goldsmiths and jewellers—a tradition that still exists today.

Apart from Florence, we also explored other cities like Venice and Siena, but I don’t have stories to tell about the cities, just some pictures for you here. I loved being in Siena for its views of Tuscany and Venice for its chilled-out evening where we sat down on the streets to have some great pizzas by the water. The vibe felt different. It was also less warm than Florence.

Every year for the last three years, I have been taking a summer trip, and somehow, it’s either been Spain or Italy. I don’t know if I can call any one of the countries my favourite destinations yet. Yes, there are parts and bits of them that I have loved, but also some parts—and mostly a lot of major cities—feel a lot more commercialised and crowded.

And the more I have been on these trips, the more I have realised that maybe it’s time for me to step away from city travel for a while. Cities are nice, especially here, they have history behind them and that makes them different. But when you have lived long enough in Europe, every city starts to feel the same, with almost the same things like architecture, churches, canals—unless, of course, you know their specific stories.

A year or two ago, I had this conversation with someone and he was pointing out how a particular building looked ugly. At that time, I found myself laughing at what he said, but maybe it does make sense to me now. Nowadays, buildings are hardly built with any stories, and maybe that’s also the reason why city travel is losing its charm.

I’ve also realised, cities don’t allow you to get lost so easily, because you’ll always find people in every corner. They don’t let you sit at one place for hours and do nothing, or just read a book. They don’t give you the space to sit with your thoughts.

Having said that, it doesn't mean I won’t visit cities. But at present, if I have to choose between a city or a hike in nature, I might choose the latter option. I’ve never done a hike before or maybe a mini one back in Wales for a waterfall, I don’t know if you would even call one, but it was definitely quite thrilling.

I’ve often imagined myself just sitting in nature after hours of hiking, staring at the view—or maybe into nothing—for as long as I want. I want to feel that little thrill, that quiet excitement about what’s about to unfold. I want to feel so small in front of a giant mountain I’m trying to climb (maybe that’s a bit much, but you get it) that I start to question everything I stand for. Maybe I want to come back a different person than the one who started the hike—and for once, that would be the greatest souvenir of all.

Maybe it’s too much to ask from a hike. Maybe not. But circling back to my first question—what would you choose, and why?

If you want to read more about Florence, you can read it here. This was back in 2023, when I took my first solo trip:)

Photo credit: My lovely siblings.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you've ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you're feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

You have been slow and fast at the same time.

And suddenly, we are almost halfway through the year.

Where did you just disappear?

Some days there were so many highs,

while some of the other days it was pure chaos.

Some days were about feeling lost and questioning everything,

and some days were about feeling tired.

Maybe yes, every day wasn’t productive.

Every day wasn’t perfect.

Some days, certain realisations stuck.

Some days it was pure FOMO.

Some days it was just about never-ending chores.

And then there were some days where we all were together

like old times sake, for a couple of days.

A day of shopping,

a day for chole bhature and butter chicken,

a day for lots of parcels,

a lot of days about great summer drinks and yoga,

a day of long, smooth flight,

and then a lot of rainy days.

Maybe May, you weren’t that bad.

Maybe not the most productive one,

but also one with chaos and adventure,

and good memories after all...

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you've ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you're feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

But I think I did just fine. Once the packing was done and I checked in, I felt a little relieved. Also, a good thing: I didn’t have an early flight, so there was a chance I could wake up the next day relaxed, rested, and at least a little excited for the trip. And, as I expected, it wasn’t that bad. I reached Berlin smoothly, and public transport was easy to figure out. It was my lucky day because they gave me my room early, around 1 pm, even though the original check-in time was 3 pm. Doesn’t happen that often, believe me. Things weren’t that bad, except for the weather, because it was supposed to rain the entire day.

But I brought an umbrella. As strange as it may sound, I live in the Netherlands, where it rains a lot, but I still hate being wet. And wet, frizzy hair? Looking like a drowned cat? No thanks.

But it turned out to be a good hair day and I was happy. I grabbed my umbrella and backpack and stepped out to explore Berlin. Luckily, I was staying in Mitte, which is close to the center, so everything was quite walkable from there, and I didn’t have to take public transport. I started walking in search of good food and came across a mall. Yes, you heard it right! Berlin has a lot of malls. I missed them so much after moving to the Netherlands because, apparently, they have a very few small ones and I have never been to any of them.

As soon as I entered the mall, the first thing I checked was the direction to the food court, and oh my, I was surprised! It almost felt like I was in one of the malls back in India, with so many options to choose from. Indian, Turkish, Chinese, Vietnamese—there was everything. After having my satisfying lunch, I left the mall thinking I might come back, but I forgot that it would only be open on Saturday because markets are closed on Sundays in Germany, and Monday was Easter.

After walking for a few more minutes, I found myself at Alexanderplatz, where there are a few tourist monuments, like the TV Tower. I heard you can climb up there, and there’s also a historic 24-hour world clock. While researching the clock, I came across an interesting fact: Germans believe that being on time is not just important but a serious, sacred way to show respect. I can definitely vouch for this, thanks to a German friend of mine! I recently was running late, about 20 minutes, and kept her updated along the way, but let’s just say she definitely noticed and made sure I knew about it.

I explored around Alexanderplatz and walked toward Hackescher Markt, which is also close to Museum Island. Museum Island is essentially all the museums in one place. The area is well-maintained, and there’s a lot of history. For instance, there’s a memorial right in front of Humboldt University, which is a window that looks down to a lot of empty white shelves underground. It’s a book-burning memorial because, at this very place, university students, along with Nazi officials, organised a public book-burning ceremony to burn works and books deemed "un-German." I discovered this on a walking tour the next day.

On my first day, it was mostly rainy and cold, so after walking for a long time, I decided to call it a day with a good dinner—a vegan ramen, which I found a bit salty, but it was comforting nonetheless. I headed back to my hotel for the much needed rest.

The next day, the forecast was bright and sunny, and I had a walking tour scheduled, which I’m so glad I didn’t miss, even though I almost considered skipping it. This was the biggest highlight of the trip.

The walking tour started at the Red Town Hall, which is near Alexanderplatz. We reached Museum Island, which consists of five museums built during the time of the Prussian rulers. You might be wondering, “How did the Prussians come to rule Germany?” Well, the walking tour told an interesting story behind it. It all started with the Hohenzollern family, who ruled in southern Germany and later expanded their territories to control Germany as a whole. During the Prussian Empire, Protestants from France fled to Germany. They were highly educated, skilled artisans, merchants, and artists who created galleries and museums. The hidden secret is that a significant part of Berlin's architecture and culture was influenced by the French, and as a tribute to them, there is a cathedral called the French Cathedral.

From there, we moved to a site where, during the Cold War, Germans would watch over anyone crossing from East Germany to West Germany.

To simplify the history* : After World War II, the Allies split Germany into pieces to keep it from causing more trouble. The United States, the United Kingdom, and France controlled the western parts of Germany, while the Soviet Union took control of the eastern part. Even though the Allies were all on the same side during the war, they didn’t always agree on how to run the world afterward, which is why Germany ended up being divided into two parts: the Western side controlled by the Allies, and the Eastern side controlled by the Soviet Union.

We then moved to a site that is now a modern-day parking lot, where Hitler and his wife took their lives in a bunker underneath it. There is no public acknowledgment of the historical significance of the spot. From there, we moved to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin, which consists of 2,711* concrete slabs arranged in a grid pattern, with varying heights that create a sense of unevenness as you walk through them. Nobody knows the real meaning behind it, but what I heard from the guide made sense: Although we humans look different, we are all made of the same things. The memorial is dedicated to all Jews killed by Hitler.

From there, we finally reached the Brandenburg Gate, one of the oldest city gates still standing in modern-day Berlin. Right in front of the gate is the Hotel Adlon, where celebrities like Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, and Barack Obama have stayed. You might be wondering how much one of their suites costs? Let me clear up your confusion: it’s around 25,000 euros per night.

That was the end of my walking tour, which left me with so many historical facts and a deeper understanding of the city’s story. I feel like unless you know the story behind a place or its history, you're not truly experiencing it. You might visit the sites, but without knowing their significance, you won’t take away anything meaningful. Consider learning the story as a souvenir you carry from every city, every country.

After the long walking tour, I finally sat down for lunch and then headed to my last destination of the day: the East Side Gallery, a preserved stretch of the Berlin Wall. In 1990*, 118 artists from 21 countries painted murals on a 1.3 km stretch of the Berlin Wall. However, only about 300 meters* (the preserved stretch) still have the original murals from 1990. Some of the most famous murals on this stretch include Dmitri Vrubel's "The Kiss," depicting the kiss between Soviet leaders.

The next day, I had a few hours before my flight, so I visited the Berlin Art Market, which I would highly recommend if you’re ever there. Artists from all over Berlin showcase their work, and you can leave with some unique souvenirs.

As a solo traveler, I didn’t face any problems. They have an app for public transport, and if you know the zones, it’s not too difficult to figure out. And the city is all quite walkable atleast for the parts I covered. Don’t forget to carry cash although, for example some artists in Berlin market only accepted cash and also for your free walking tour which runs on tip basis and they put in a lot of effort, so you wouldn’t want to live without leaving a good tip.

They say Berlin is for the odd ones out but I think everybody is odd in their own way, maybe it’s just the level that varies. Maybe this time, I just had a chance to appreciate the well-maintained parts of the city, I’ve heard the city has a rawness to it that you only truly appreciate if you live there for a while. But who knows maybe sometime in the future I become odd enough to also appreciate that rawness.

Disclaimer*: Some of the history and numbers I mention in this piece were checked (verified) and made easier to understand (simplified) with the help of my newfound friend, ChatGPT.

I’m taking a leap of faith, believing in myself and in the possibility of becoming a good writer one day. If you've ever read my work and seen even the smallest bit of potential, I would be so grateful if you could leave a comment and, if you're feeling generous, perhaps buy me a cup of coffee or matcha (my new favourite these days). I could really use a little extra caffeine to fuel my writing:)

I’m a little distracted right now. It’s been a crazy last week, but in a good way. I was in Berlin over the weekend, attended a great event last Thursday, and was in Brussels on Tuesday. Then, on Friday, I went to see the tulips. So you see what I mean—there’s been a lot. And now, I just don’t feel like working. I still feel tired... or maybe that’s just my state of mind.

So, April—how were you really?

Let’s start with the good things:

• Tulip Garden → It was amazing to get lost in a world of tulips with my best friend (even though we were both so tired, haha).

• Berlin happened → More on this soon, but I think I had a great time. It went by quickly, but the city holds so much history. I was already tired from a hectic week of events and travel, but somehow, once I got there, I forgot all about that. Maybe that’s why I’m so tired now, haha.

• First work event → A big one. It was nice to meet people and get that kind of exposure.

• Reformer Pilates with friends → Definitely a good first-time experience. Always feels good to try new things.

• A lot of selfies → Yes, I love taking selfies and photos of just everything in nature.

• Long walks, gelato, and bakery days → Longer days mean more sun and more walks. And I think I might just have a sweet tooth.

• Museum Night with friends → A beautiful mix of music, painting, photo booths, and even an offline club with an amazing pianist.

• Matcha → I discovered something recently—matcha with coconut milk actually tastes amazing. If you haven't tried it yet, give it a shot!

A lot of good things happened. New experiences, traveling, the arrival of spring. The days are longer, the sun is warmer. But somewhere, despite all of this, I keep wondering—Am I happy? Is my cup full? Is something missing? Am I making the most of my time, or is it just passing me by? Am I growing? Am I doing things that scare me? Am I living my best life? Am I still running from something?

These thoughts live non-stop in my mind. And maybe that’s not entirely a bad thing—because I’m constantly evaluating, analyzing. But it does get exhausting sometimes... this overthinking.

I’m also trying to bring my focus back to other parts of life. I’ve started going on dates again. But it feels like I’m caught in a never-ending loop—trying, meeting people, giving chances... and eventually, just getting tired. Because nothing seems to work. And then I start questioning—What’s wrong? Why is it so hard to find someone? Am I trying too hard? Or not giving enough? Please tell me I’m not the only one. But the good part, if I’m not tired and cribbing, is that I get a chance to meet new people.

I can only hope that I can find answers to all these questions, but probably, they’ll come in their own time, in their own way. One thing I know for sure: I don’t want to be stuck in a loop, where I can’t find a way out. But despite all of this, reflecting on everything and writing about it is my way of maybe finding those answers—and suddenly, the problem doesn’t feel as big anymore. Maybe I’ll have an epiphany... but for now, I’m just trying to give myself a little more credit for keeping up with both my brain and heart, haha. Can't forget, I’m still a work in progress!

Song I’ve been vibing to these days

Fun little coincidence—March Reflections went out on the same date too. Btw, how’s your April been?

That realization didn’t sit right with me. For one, I had been spending a lot of time on Substack—maybe more than I should—while other things, perhaps more important at this point, were waiting. And no, I’m not undermining writing, because I know how much it has given me—a community I am forever grateful for.

But sometimes, I think we convince ourselves of what’s important in life until something or someone gives us a reality check. During that brief period when I had that reality check, I found that I had no motivation to write. But even then, I knew I wouldn’t want to give it up. Things don’t always offer the same happiness or solace, but time changes, and eventually, you find that happiness again—maybe not in the same way as before, but somehow, it finds its place in your life. And, this time, I was ready to let it return in its own time.

To cope with this overwhelming feeling of time passing so quickly, I came up with the idea of doing a monthly reflection, inspired by some writers. I want to look back at my month and everything that’s happened. This way, I can make sense of time, see how far I’ve come, and realise that it’s no longer just time passing by. I can also smile again, thinking about the things that made me happy, and realise that the month had a lot of highs, not just the lows.

The things that made my month:-

• Days of Summer and Spring – which improved my mood even more. Fewer cloudy days and more reasons to step out of the house. It’s almost the season of cherry blossoms.

• A day trip to Delft, even though it was just for a couple of hours, made me appreciate the beauty of small cities.

• A new book given to me by my sister, which I’ve started, and a line from it that struck me:

A problem becomes a problem only if you believe it to be so. And often, others see you as you see yourself.

• I treated myself to a good spa massage after the longest time here.

• Reading a book while soaking up the sun on the deck when the temperature reached 21°C.

• Random firecrackers for five minutes. It doesn’t happen often here, but it made me happy.

• Finally got a Belgian waffle, although by the time I had it on the train, it was already soggy and not the best.

• Discovering my love for Japanese cuisine, which started earlier this year. I can’t get enough of ramen and sushi, and the pleasure of finding a go-to place for comfort food.

• Random Ideas striking while cooking my meals, especially my breakfasts. Sometimes sharing meals with my flatmate.

• Planning my next trip and looking forward to summer.

• Finally letting go of the stress of getting back to dating. It felt like a task, and I was almost tired of it. But sometimes, it just takes a tiny reminder to take one step at a time and see it as an experience—getting to know a new person and maybe trying new places and experiences.

• The biggest reminder was to surrender and let go of the control I like to have. That things will happen in their own time and pace. This can sometimes be so hard to digest.

The month hasn’t ended yet, but listing all these things and thinking about them already makes me feel so much lighter. I know it’s often said that we should always look forward, but I think sometimes, looking back is equally important to truly appreciate how far you’ve come. And even though it might feel like you haven’t done much or have been struggling, it’s easy to overlook the small steps we take every day.