Towards the middle of this year, I was speaking with a friend, and we had an interesting conversation that I thought certain people reading this might benefit from.

Part of our discussion was around the dealings of God and how, sometimes, when we step outside His plans and will, He pulls us back. And some of the ways He does that may come through allowing certain circumstances that redirect us to seek Him again and come back into alignment with Him.

Imagine having journals full of dreams. The things you desire to achieve. The places you want to go because you’ve seen the possibilities in the lives of others. The businesses that burn in your heart because you know what it takes to become a successful entrepreneur- a life centered around learning, taking courses, building, growing, becoming.

But somehow, things didn’t go as planned.

The business you tried establishing possibly failed. God may have called you into a place of consecration that made you feel stuck, almost as though your life had been placed on hold. Those dreams you were passionate about may have fallen flat because resources were not forthcoming, or perhaps what eventually materialized looked very different from what you had on paper.

And in all honesty, you are truly tired. You cannot see what is ahead. Where you are looks nothing like what you planned for.

Here’s where it gets really hard: you are afraid to dream again.

In the place of prayer, as images flood your soul and possibilities stare at you, you wonder if this will not become another failure. If truly, God spoke to you or it was merely a desire you caught somewhere. You wonder if getting into this love relationship will not end like the others. If investing in another business idea impressed upon your heart will not end up crashing like before. If starting that discipleship group you closed down will not drain you again.

Or…you are scared of the new season God is opening before you because it looks too good to be true and now, you are questioning the “stars” God is showing you. You are wondering if stepping out again after a period of consecration will not land you flat on your back.

You really want to hope again… to see that God has great things He wants to do through you.

But those cold feet… The fears…

Trust me, I can relate. Recently, God has been pulling me in the direction of the things He restrained me from, and I have wondered, if this wasn’t self resurrecting. At some point, I discarded the ideas and just wouldn’t press but as I prayed, it got stronger. I jumped on one of those ideas and the experience has been beautiful.

Let me leave this thought here: When God restrains you from stepping into something that burns deeply in your heart, it doesn’t necessarily mean He frowns at it. It may simply not be the right time. And when the time comes, you’ll have the confirmations and clarity you need to move.

So, just in case there is someone who has outgrown an old season is reading this, God says to tell you:

“Take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees.” - Hebrews 12:12

And if you look closely at the preceding scriptures, you’ll see that the context was around the discipline of the Lord. It speaks about God working in us, putting our flesh under, dealing with unholy desires, and bringing us to the place where He truly becomes Lord over our lives.

But now, you have been corrected. You have learnt your lesson. You know what to do right.

The next step is to build the courage to rise again and believe God for what He is saying now.

Stop shutting down those words you hear in prayer about what God wants to do through you. There is a giant arising. The assignment is waiting for you. The resources and abundance of wealth still have your name on them. The healing power of God is still at work.

The Lord sent me to you today. It’s time to lift up those hands. It’s time to walk out courageously, albeit with small steps.

If the green light appears, no matter how little, follow the direction of the Spirit.

If ideas flood your mind about a business, or the structure for that NGO He wants you to run, or the book you should write, start somewhere. Do not let the pain of the past stop you.

As we step into the last part of this year, what we often call the ember months, I strongly believe God will be pouring out floods of ideas and direction for new assignments slated for commencement in 2027.

And yes, 2027 is the year of executing in greater dimensions. It is also a mission-minded year where, for those who respond, there will be an influx of harvest for the Kingdom.

It is the year of the new. So get ready.

It will also be a year of much greater distraction, requiring those of the Kingdom to be sensitive. I also see a lot of redirection from the familiar, and the way to position yourself is to spend lots of time with the Lord.

Take charge of your tired knees, soldier of Christ. The Lord beckons you on. There is work to be done. The cloud of witnesses cheers you on.

By faith, let God birth His will through you.

Even when you do not understand the full dimension of what He is doing, take what He is placing before you. There is strength for you to press on.

Remember, the man of faith keeps believing, no matter what the circumstances look like right now. Please don’t give up.

Take time to go through the cloud of witnesses in Hebrews 11 again. Write out the things God is showing you. Dare to dream the dreams of God. Dare to see things through His eyes.

It may be tough now. It may seem like everything is in one spot, but faith presses through the now. As you spend time with God, choose to believe everything He says. Write the strategies you are receiving in your spirit, even if somewhere a voice is screaming:

“Are you sure? What if it fails?”

By faith, the elders had a good reputation. You can too. Your faith will stand.

P.S. I really wanted to get this out today despite my busy schedule. The workspace I use closes in a few minutes, and once I’m out of here, the home front calls. Motherhood has its own timetable… lol. So if it feels like I’m saying too many things at once, or not quite in chronological order, pardon me.

I really hope this spoke to you in one way or another.

I was in Primary 4 when the idea of writing fiction first came to me.

I still remember where I was. I had picked up an English Language textbook and came across the proverb, Let sleeping dogs lie.

Immediately, I thought, I can write a story about this.

So I did.

I cannot fully explain how I felt after writing that story. There was something so sweet about realising that I could create an entire world from my imagination. I had taken a simple sentence and turned it into something that had not existed before.

That feeling stayed with me.

I went on to write many stories in sixty-leaf exercise books. Some of those notebooks eventually went missing because they passed from one classmate to another.

One story I cannot forget was titled The Mistaken Wedding.

I was in JSS 3 when I wrote it. It was a love story involving identical twins. One of the twins travelled to a faraway land and did not return, so his brother who lived some towns away pretended to be him in order to take over his wife.

Sometimes, I still wonder how stories like that entered my consciousness. We did not have a television at home at the time because my family church frowned at it, but I read a lot of fiction.

Perhaps that was where it came from.

When I entered university, my mum bought movies produced by Mount Zion, and something else started happening to me.

I would watch those movies repeatedly and write summaries of every scene. I did not understand how screenplays worked, but I began filling page after page with what I believed a screenplay should look like.

One day, I sent a script I had written to a Christian movie producer.

His response was simple:

“There is no suspense in this story.”

My heart broke.

Still, I kept writing. I had those Higher Education notebooks (Nigerians will understand) and I filled every page.

I’m going somewhere with this story. Please stay with me.

During my service year, I came across Francine Rivers.

I had not had much access to Christian novels as a teenager, but after reading Redeeming Love, I knew that I wanted to write Christian fiction. Nothing else interested me in quite the same way.

I wanted to write stories about faith, redemption, relationships, struggles, and encounters with God. I pursued that desire with everything I had.

At some point, I wrote a novelette and gave it to a friend who was very knowledgeable about literature.

He told me he did not enjoy reading it. He also said I was melodramatic. Ahh! Is storytelling really my thing? Am I deceiving myself?

Why then do I love writing stories so much?

I was deeply discouraged. But do you know what I did?

I began to read more books. I read fiction and nonfiction. I studied phrases, sentence structures, descriptions, characters, and dialogue. I took notes. I disciplined myself to keep reading and practiced writing alongside.

A few years later, I wrote a novella. I sent it to the same friend and also to a recognised, award-winning writer.

Their responses stunned me.

My friend was so impressed that he could barely contain his excitement. The other writer gave me feedback that completely blew my mind. Of course, there was still honest criticism, but it was obvious that I had improved tremendously.

That experience taught me something important: Criticism is not always a sign that you should stop. Sometimes, it is an invitation to grow.

Here’s the interesting thing. As I continued to write, the feedback began to change.

It was no longer simply, “This is beautifully written.”

People started telling me that they had specific encounters with the Holy Spirit through my books.

Some said God answered questions that had lingered in their hearts for years. Some were stirred to pray. Others said their relationship with God took a new turn.

The testimonies that shocked me the most came from people who said they had accepted Christ after reading one of my books.

Really?

I have loved telling stories for as long as I can remember, and I have been doing it intentionally for more than a decade.

But when the Lord began to show me through Scripture and prayer that storytelling was not merely an interest but an assignment, I started to see it differently.

I realised that I was not simply a writer who wanted people to enjoy good stories. My stories had to point people towards Christ.

That does not mean every paragraph must sound like a sermon. It means the heart behind my work must remain connected to God’s purposes.

Recently, I was reading reviews of a movie I wrote for a film producer. The title is Waiting for Sarah. It was her debut film, and it reached more than 300,000 views in less than six months.

As I read the reviews, I found myself wondering, What if I had never tried writing screenplays?

What if I had allowed my lack of knowledge to stop me?

When I first started, I knew almost nothing about locations, scene headings, action lines, or professional screenplay formatting.

I simply wrote. Later, I came across resources that helped me understand the craft better, and I am still learning.

What if I had ignored that persistent desire to explore screenwriting?

I have also lost count of the number of people reached through the Diary of a Nigerian Christian Girl. The testimonies, reconciliations, and stories of restoration connected to the book leave me in awe.

I do not know how else to say this:

You have a great role to play in the advancement of the assignment God has placed in your hands.

Why are you stalling? Why are you waiting for the perfect time?

There is no perfect time. You prepare, you begin, you make mistakes, and you grow.

I was once a terrible writer.

Oh God.

Sometimes, Facebook reminds me of posts I wrote many years ago, and I cannot believe I published them. Some were boring. Some were unnecessarily dramatic. Some were simply not good.

But growth happened. And growth is still happening.

Over time, I learned to craft words more carefully. I began to understand how stories are structured, how characters develop, how conflict works, and how to keep a reader engaged.

None of that knowledge fell from heaven. It took work. It took sitting with books, reading widely, studying other writers, receiving criticism, practising, rewriting, and trying again.

God may have spoken to you about your assignment, but you are waiting for the launch.

My question is: what preparation have you put in place? Whose resources are you studying? Who is already producing the kind of work that resembles where you believe God is taking you? What skills will your future assignment require?

And why are you comparing yourself to someone who has spent years developing their craft while you are still refusing to begin?

There was a time when nobody knew me. But as I responded to the call to grow, visibility came.

There is a process involved in carrying out a kingdom assignment. Please, submit yourself to the preparation process. Start with what is in front of you.

Perhaps you feel called to reach teenagers.

Start with one teenager.

Learn how to communicate with them. Try developing a simple plan for a teenage meeting. Observe what others are doing, learn from them, and then build your own unique expression.

Do not despise small beginnings.

In my case, it began as a simple desire to write Christian content. I did not initially have an encounter in which God opened the heavens and showed me several Scriptures about my assignment.

I simply wanted to write fiction and create screenplays. So I started.

I made many mistakes, but that was part of the process.

Mistakes are not always evidence that you missed God. Sometimes, they are evidence that you are learning how to carry what He has given you.

Again, I hope you noticed how I responded to criticism throughout my journey.

Some people may communicate their feedback poorly. Some may sound harsh or unnecessarily dismissive. But when there is truth in what they are saying, take what you need and grow.

This attitude of abandoning your work because someone knowledgeable did not like it will keep you stagnant.

Someone may think you are not good enough today. They may even be right about the current quality of your work. But that does not mean you cannot become better.

When something continues to burn in your heart, dig deeper.

Read. Practise. Take courses. Sit under mentors. Study the craft.

Do not conclude too quickly that you are not called simply because your first attempts were not impressive. You cannot grow well when everyone around you only says yes.

Someone should be able to tell you where your work is weak. Someone should be able to point out what could be improved.

Finally,

Have you ever wondered, What does consecration have to do with advancing a kingdom assignment?

Everything.

As you respond to God, He begins to strip you of the flesh because certain weights cannot accompany the immensity of the call.

As you yield to Him in devotion and consecration, He prunes you. He reshapes your motives, confronts your pride, strengthens your character, and teaches you obedience.

He makes you into a vessel He can move through.

This is one of my greatest successes as a Christian storyteller. For many years, the Lord restrained me from pursuing screenplay practice. He wanted me to focus on writing fiction and of course, that was when I wrote 9 books. There will be stops in your life. Know when to withdraw and when to advance.

Remember, It is not first in the numbers, the reviews, the views, or the testimonies. It is what happens in the secret place.

The dealings. The continuous surrender. The discipline of devotion. The legitimate things He is asking you to release. The difficult instructions. The moments when obedience cost you something.

The work people see publicly must be sustained by a life that is yielded privately.

Talent may give you visibility, but character and consecration will determine whether you can carry what visibility brings.

God has something for you to do.

I have much more to say about pursuing kingdom assignments, but for now, I will stop here.

Blessings!

My 6-week mentorship program for Christian Writers commences 15th August, 2026. If you are interested, register here.

FIREWRITERS MENTORSHIP PROGRAM

Shortly after I was called to the bar, my closest friend from uni days called me.

“Ife, I’m getting married!”

That was the first time the idea of marriage really began to make sense to me. I mean, we had only recently left law school and yeah, I had attended weddings before, but this one hit differently because we were age mates.

Suddenly, I had so many questions.

What did it mean to be married? What would it feel like to wake up every day beside a man? What would pregnancy feel like?

Just different questions.

Attending the wedding only made them louder. I loved the idea of marriage. How sweet would it be to become Mrs. Somebody and wear a wedding ring?

Of course, getting into a relationship was not the problem. I had guys who were interested in me. The real question was: Who would I settle down with?

Then I met a fine young man who was a member of the drama ministry I belonged to. It felt so good. We travelled to different places to minister together. He loved God. He loved me. He was caring, patient and generous. He even gave me a monthly allowance.

What else was I looking for? Could we just get married already?

We were not merely dating casually; we had marriage in view. But about a year later, everything scattered.

I was so devastated.

God, what is going on?

Still, I thought getting into another relationship would not be a problem. I would simply move on to the next available one.

My brethren, God had a different plan.

For the next four years, I roamed emotionally. Things kept scattering. My life felt disorganised and out of order. I entered situationships and became increasingly frustrated with myself.

Finally, in desperation, I cried out:

“God, what are You doing with my life?”

It felt as though God responded, “Finally, I have your attention.”

That was when the drills began.

There were many things wrong with me emotionally during those years when I fought desperately to enter a marriage relationship. I did not know what I was supposed to do with my life. I carried emotional baggage that God needed to address. My subconscious needed to be rewired.

And considering the intensity of the assignment which I now largely understand, the trainings had not even begun.

Over the next few years, I watched my friends get married while God kept correcting, rebuking and pruning me.

What is it sef? Couldn’t God say something different-something more exciting? Where was the husband in all these instructions?

Interestingly, whenever I spoke to the Lord about marriage, He would redirect my attention to something else. I moved from one instruction to another.

Have weekly prayer meeting with that lady. Run a 4-week program for Christian women.. . Start a blog. Write a blog series on the Diary of a Nigerian Christian Girl. Write Ayanfe, as a novel that demonstrates the intensity of my love…Gather young people into a discipleship group and sit over their lives.

Eventually, I left the matter and poured myself into the things He was asking me to do.

Looking back now, I realise that while I thought nothing was happening, God was building my life.

Today, I am married, and I am also a mother.

You would think the waiting had finally ended. But recently, I found myself in another season of waiting-one that brought me to tears.

I looked through the prophecies recorded in my journal and remembered the things God had spoken concerning my future. For a moment, I was tempted to ask:

“Did I really hear God?”

“Why does everything feel like Lagos traffic?”

I have come to realize that at different stages of life, we will have to trust God for different things.

Waiting is part of our walk with Him. Step by step, our faith will be tested-sometimes through trials and sometimes through seasons that simply leaves us feeling weary and exhausted because hope deferred makes the heart sick.

Yet, through it all, we learn to stand.

Here is something I want you to remember about a waiting season:

God has not abandoned you.

That is one of the enemy’s strategies-to make you feel forgotten, rejected and frustrated with God because you have not yet received what you desire.

But God is still with you. Even when it does not feel like it, choose to hold on to His Word. He sees you. He cares about you. He has not forgotten your name or misplaced the details of your life. Use scriptures to silence the voice of the enemy during that waiting season.

Do you know that waiting often reveals the condition of our hearts?

What will you do when you do not yet have what you desire?

Will you stop worshipping?

Will you withdraw from God because He has not answered you according to your preferred timeline?

Will you continue to trust Him when there is no visible evidence that anything is changing?

Again, the waiting season is not passive.

It is a season to engage with the Word of God concerning your health, finances, marriage, children, career or whatever you may be trusting Him for.

It is a time to take instructions and run with them even when your desires are still unmet.

Sometimes, the season is an expression of God’s mercy. He may be pruning you, strengthening your character and preparing you for the weight of what is ahead.

Stay through with the process.. If you do, He will build such capacity that when you finally appear at the gate of your assignment, you will still be standing.

God will continually bring you to the place where your eyes are no longer fixed only on what you want from Him, but on Him alone.

Can I say this? Be sure you are truly in a waiting season and not simply stalling on an instruction God has already given you. Selah.

Let the waiting make you stronger. Let it make you more resilient. Let it deepen your walk with God. Let it purify your motives and strengthen your convictions. Let it be that when you step out of your waiting season, you are not the same person who entered it.

In this season,

God deeply cares about you.

Do not give up.

I hope these scriptures encourages your heart as you wait actively, in expectation of a reward.

Isaiah 40:31

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Psalm 27:13–14

“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.”

Habakkuk 2:3

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.”

Lamentations 3:25–26

“The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.”

Psalm 130:5

“I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.”

James 1:3–4

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

Isaiah 49:15–16

“Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.”

God has not forgotten you.

He is present in the waiting. And even here, He is working.

I really wish I could pour my whole heart into this one post, but somehow, I feel blank. Not because there is nothing to say, but because there is too much. Too many words are rushing through my heart at once, and I am trying to catch them gently.

I thought 2026 was going to be that year. Believe me, I had plans. Goals set. Big dreams written down. Productivity systems in place. Income streams mapped out. Timelines arranged.

I was ready.

By February, I could almost see how the year was going to unfold. The goal-getter in me had everything organized. Strategy? In place. Vision? Clear. Energy? Available.

I was more than ready. But by the end of March, I had crashed. And with me, all my goals and plans.

It started with what I can only describe as being called to Daddy’s room only that it was not one of those pampering sessions…

Has the Lord ever asked you, “What exactly are you doing?”

Have you ever felt like your mind was under such intense attack that the confident version of you suddenly could not find herself anymore?

Like, we were good at the beginning of the year. What is this?

Have you ever willed your skills to show up and work the way they normally do, but all you could see was darkness?

That was me.

I’ll describe the conversation with the Lord this way.

“Ife, you said you wanted to go with my terms. You prayed for alignment. You cried to stay surrendered. You asked to be a vessel. So how is it My fault that when there is a shift from the target, all I am doing is setting you back on track?

Is it not a good thing that I keep stripping you of everything that does not represent My life? Because to keep pouring from pure streams requires fire in the innermost parts of your heart, even in the places you truly thought were already fine.

And me?

“Ah, Daddy, but I feel like I am drowning. I feel alone on this journey.”

Here is the strange part.

How is it that I have such a supportive and peaceful husband, an amazing toddler you cannot help but love, a protégé whose presence in my home brings great delight, and a friend who stands by me through this fiery furnace and yet, I still feel like I am sinking?

These last few months have brought me into a deeper understanding of what it means to follow Jesus.

The stripping is not nice. It sounds beautiful when we sing about surrender. It sounds deep when we pray, “Lord, use me.” or “Have Your way, Lord”

But when the process begins, it is not always pretty. Because while the Lord is dealing with you, life does not pause.

You still have to show up.

You still have to go to church with a smiling face. You still have to be kind. You still have to be a mother. You still have to love. You still have to serve. You still have to keep your devotion going, even if all you can manage is worship, an audio Bible, and whispered prayers from a tired heart.

And somehow, you are not permitted to stay cranky, bitter, and short-tempered just because God is working on you… and yes, you learn how to remain spiritually alert even when you feel emotionally exhausted.

Guess what?

Just when you want to stay there-walking around tired, drained, and going through the motions because it feels like your brain refuses to wake up again, you hear the Lord say:

Get up. Strengthen your tired knees. Make straight paths. Keep going.

And then the demands of consecration hit you all over again.

Just know this, the place of surrender cannot leave you the same.

Could this be the reason many people do not truly follow?

Because denying yourself and carrying your cross sounds poetic until the cross becomes heavy It feels noble until the instruction becomes difficult. It sounds inspiring until obedience starts costing you comfort, convenience, reputation, timing, or the version of life you had carefully planned for yourself.

Sometimes, you get to that place where the instructions become really tough. Where the process feels like hardship. Where you sneak a quick look at your peers and suddenly feel like you are last in a race-a race, by the way, that you set for yourself.

And you begin to wonder, Lord, what is going on?

But is following Jesus worth it?

A hundred times, yes.

Just think about what Jesus has done for you.

Think about the eternal life He has given you. Think about God coming in the flesh to die for you so that you can be with Him forever. Think about the mercy that found you, the grace that held you and the love that refused to leave you where you were.

I know that when we stand before Him, it will be even more joyful to know that we lived for Him on this side of eternity.

You do not want to meet your Savior ashamed, do you?

I remember listening to the story of the woman who played Miss Clara in the movie, War Room. How her journey had carried intense disappointment and waiting, yet God had reserved a role for her that would bless so many lives. I remember hearing Priscilla Shirer speak about how they prayed fervently because they knew the right woman for that role had not yet shown up even though there had been auditions for the role.

God had kept that place for her.

I remember Alex Kendrick talking about wanting to go out and bless lives through movies after graduating from the university , and the Lord saying, You are not ready. Sit down and spend time with Me. Study the Word.

I remember Mrs. Boye-Ajayi sharing how she was instructed to shut down her company for 18 months because the Lord needed to draw her back to the drawing board and bring her into alignment with His plans.

And I think about all of that now, on my birthday, in this very reflective season.

If we are truly disciples of Christ, then we cannot serve Him on our own terms.

That difficult instruction God placed on your heart, the one you keep delaying is part of your surrender.

That location God placed you in, the one you are desperate to escape because it is uncomfortable, may be part of your formation.

That season that feels like fire may not be punishment. It may be purification.

When you said yes to Jesus, you accepted His Lordship over your life. So stop cherry-picking instructions. If you are for the Lord, let it be clear.

And to my dear comrades in spaces that do not make sense, those placed in what feels like fire because God will not take them out yet, those carrying instructions that require intense consecration, those going through dealings that drive them to tears every time. When it gets really hard, remember what the Lord has done for you.

Remember that He is not cruel. Remember that He is not wasting your life and never forget these words:

“Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10

And this too:

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord,
thoughts of peace and not of evil,
to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11

And maybe the next time you read Matthew 16:24, it will make even more sense:

“If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”

Following Jesus is not easy and maybe that is the point.

Because the goal was never just to make us comfortable. The goal was to make us like Him.

Happy birthday to me.

Church hurts have chased after me since my early teenage years. At that time, I didn’t even have a name for it, but that’s how I felt most of the time.

Being a pastor’s child puts you at the forefront of everything, and I got my fair share of the confusion that came with it. Sometimes I just wanted to ask, Can’t I be a normal child like every other curious kid?

Okay, I talked to a boy in church, so what? If you had a problem with that, why not just talk to me? Why report me to my parents?

Being the curious child that I was, I got into trouble a lot.

Some of the reports were so ridiculous that I genuinely believed I was hated. And that belief sat with me through those years.

But even that didn’t hurt as much as what happened later, when I had just started my walk with God as a young undergraduate. I was passionate about Jesus and genuinely hungry for Him. I decided to seek counsel from my pastor, opening up details about my life, my struggles…just seeking help.

What happened next shocked me to my bones.

I became the topic of discussion during the Sunday service. News traveled far, and I, the main character in the story, was shocked by what I heard. Was that what I really said?

The story traveled far beyond the shores of Nigeria. Given the position my father occupied in the church, that wasn’t surprising. But what hurt deeply was that the truth was never told in its entirety.

I had never been more ashamed in my life. I had never felt so alone as a new believer.

How do you even begin to justify yourself in a situation like that? Where do you start explaining that this is not what really happened?

Unfortunately, I had to return home to face the same people I had been trying to run away from. The glances… the sighs…

It was a few weeks of living in what felt like literal hell. Yet rather than turning away from the Lord, I found myself holding onto Him. I listened to sermons nonstop. I read spiritual books like crazy. I built a wall around myself with those materials.

But here is where I am really going with this.

Years later, after moving to other cities and still being on fire for the Lord, I didn’t realize that I was still carrying soul wounds.

Let me pause here to say something important.

It is very possible to be sound in the Scriptures, tongue-speaking, fervent in spirit and still have soul wounds.

However, when you build intimacy with God, His light will eventually shine on those wounds. But because they are painful, because they leave us feeling naked and reopen old hurts, we often shut the door quickly and continue with our religiosity.

I thought I had forgiven and forgotten everything until some years later, when I had to return to the place where I grew up for my sister’s wedding.

Jeez.

I had a panic attack.

I literally found it hard to breathe as I began seeing people I had grown up with who had come to rejoice with us. I was angry in my spirit. Everything came rushing back. My inner child started screaming in anger.

It was so bad that I couldn’t concentrate.

Trust me, I tried to be nice and calm. I really tried. But it just didn’t happen. I was restless the entire time.

At one point I was determined to fly back that same afternoon and apologize to my sister for leaving her wedding early, but eventually I stayed and left the next day.

That was when I knew I had a problem. It wasn’t about them anymore. It wasn’t even really about what had happened years earlier.

It was about the power those memories still had over me. Something was still buried deep inside.

But even then, I still didn’t fully pay attention to what God was exposing.

Until some years later.

I saw someone start a tweet thread about church hurts that had happened in my family church. People began pouring out their experiences. As I read through the comments, I started vibrating.

Memories of my teenage years, my struggles, the fears I lived with, it all came flooding back. I was trembling. I didn’t sleep well that night.

That was the moment I decided this could not continue. Whatever may have been done to me was no longer the issue.

I was the issue here.

I sat with the Lord and began the process of unraveling everything. I didn’t avoid the situations anymore. I brought them before me.

I was determined.

My heart must become as tender as Christ’s.

Wasn’t it on the cross that Jesus-God Himself-whose life’s mission was to die and give humanity eternal life, was mocked and still said,

“Father, forgive them.”

Think about that for a moment.

So practically speaking, here are some things I did to walk in forgiveness.

First of all, I sat with the understanding of God’s love for several months. I took Scriptures, meditated and declared them back to back.

It was during that time that the Lord showed me something powerful: the revelation of the finished work of Jesus is the sum expression of God’s love. And the deeper I go into understanding what Christ did for me, the easier it becomes to forgive others.

So I stayed there.

I read Romans 5 over and over again. I sat with the truth of my righteous identity. I studied justification by faith and the forgiveness of sins. I meditated on Romans 6.

I read books about God’s love. I just sat there and devoured it and it changed everything.

No jokes. My heart became lighter. I started seeing things differently.

When you truly understand by revelation the sacrifice Christ made for your sins, forgiving even the craziest offender becomes easier.

So beyond simply saying, “God help my heart… I forgive everyone who has hurt me,” I delved deeply into the revelation of the risen Lord.

And this is what I want to say to anyone still struggling with forgiveness.

Maybe you are reading this right now, and every time the memory of the hurt surfaces, anger rises inside you. You’ve been praying and saying, “God, I forgive them.”

Can you go one step further?

Sit with the revelation of what Christ has done for you.

Open 1 John and meditate deeply on it. While doing that, talk honestly with God about how you feel about what happened. Tell Him how badly you want to let go.

Just have the conversation with your Father.

I can confidently say this: the revelation of God’s love especially through the finished work of Christ is the perfect balm for any kind of wound.

Pain. Rejection. Grief. Shame. Name it. So, it’s not about chanting “God loves me… God loves me…” If those words are not coming from a place of revelation, they remain just words.

Another important step is following the instruction of the Holy Spirit, even when it is difficult.

Not every relationship requires reconciliation. But there may be certain steps the Lord will ask you to take concerning a person or even a church where you experienced hurt.

You cannot ask God to heal your heart while refusing to obey His instructions because they feel uncomfortable. Part of healing is partnering with the Holy Spirit to take difficult steps when necessary.

Certain things have happened and I am so glad I walked this healing journey because of the way I responded to them.

Healing from church hurts or any hurt in general, is for your sake. The people who hurt you may have grown. They may even have changed completely while you are still stuck in that moment.

One thing we often forget is this: if people knew better at the time, they might have treated us better.

That doesn’t excuse wrongdoing. It’s never okay for believers to continually hurt one another. But the truth is this: our local assemblies are made up of people at different stages of spiritual growth.

Some are sincerely submitting to the Lord. Some are still entrenched in carnality but may later open their hearts to discipleship. Some are not even saved yet and can become tools the enemy uses to take you on a journey of unforgiveness.

With that understanding, remember what Jesus already told us:

Offenses will come.

But how we handle them is what matters.

The Church-the local assembly, the gathering of saints-is still God’s idea.

If you need to change your church, do so. But please, don’t abandon church altogether. You will never experience God’s best that way.

I honestly cannot imagine not belonging to a local church. It is my home. My safe place. My covering.

When it comes to forgiveness, it may take time to reach the point where memories no longer stir negative emotions. But each time those memories surface, you go back again to the Scriptures and remind yourself of God’s love, even through tears.

But the journey toward forgiveness?

Please start it. And stay on it until the work is complete.

Here’s something I have discovered.

Offense is one of the enemy’s greatest weapons against believers. If the devil cannot get you through offense, there is hardly any other way he can overpower you.

It can hinder the possibilities of God in your life. You can find yourself going in circles, never making real progress in spiritual growth.

It is also one of the easiest ways demons continue operating in someone’s life. Despite prayers and spiritual activity, the oppression remains because the root has not been addressed.

The assignment before us is far too important to allow our hearts to remain shut because of painful experiences.

Don’t shut your heart down.

Don’t bury the hurt.

Walk with the Holy Spirit as He heals it. That is how we grow stronger in the faith.

And together, as the body of Christ, we win.

I did not plan to live in Ogbomosho.

In fact, if you had asked me some years ago where life would take me after marriage, Ogbomosho would not even make the list. My husband and I had very clear plans- settle first in Lagos, pursue opportunities abroad, and start the next phase of life in a completely different direction.

But sometimes God interrupts carefully designed plans with a single unexpected question.

One day, while sitting in my husband’s office discussing our relocation plans, I heard myself say something that surprised even me:

“What if the Lord asks us to go to Ogbomosho?”

The moment those words left my mouth, I knew something strange had just happened.

Because of all the places I could have mentioned… why Ogbomosho?

I had never been there before. In my mind, it sounded like some distant village somewhere. Where for goodness sake was Ogbomosho?

The only connection I had with the place was that my husband had attended university there and worked there for some time before moving to Ibadan.

When I asked that question, my husband simply smiled and said nothing.

But do you know what happened next? That statement started to haunt me.

If you’ve walked with God long enough and you’ve built a track record of following His direction, you start to recognize certain things. Sometimes an instruction doesn’t arrive as a thunderbolt. Sometimes it begins as a quiet nudge that won’t leave you alone.

And suddenly I kept thinking:

Ogbomosho?

Jesus… that is not part of the plan.

We were planning to move to the UK. Lord, what are you saying?

I didn’t know anyone there. My community was in Ibadan and Lagos. My friends were there. My rhythms were there. My comfort zone was there.

What exactly was happening?

The following morning during my devotion, something unusual happened. I saw an image in my mind of a living room in Ogbomosho with people gathered for a meeting. I think it happened twice.

At that point I just knew. “Omo… plans have been disrupted.”

A few days later my husband confirmed that he was sensing the same thing. During a time of prayer he felt led to call someone in Ogbomosho. That phone call eventually led us to the house we now live in- the very place I had seen in that image.

When the person asked us to come and check the place, we left Ibadan for Ogbomosho.

All through that journey, my mind was in different places. “Lord… but you didn’t say this before. Why now?”

Not Lagos. Not Abuja. Not even Ibadan which at least felt familiar.

Then my practical mind kicked in.

What about church? Would I start searching for a new church again? What about friends?

I loved personal retreats. In Ibadan I often went to Bible Guest House for back-to-back retreats. Would there be places like that here?

Then we got closer to town. And the trailers started appearing everywhere. Lots of them. The road was narrow and rough.

First of all, one thing is clear: even when God gives an instruction, you should not expect a completely smooth ride. Just like when God leads someone to a life partner-both partners would still have to work very hard to make the marriage thrive. Yes, even with God’s leading.

I think it’s a bit of a fantasy to believe that because God led you into something, it will automatically be easy. Not at all. The real benefit is that God walks with you through it and you’ll enjoy ease.

Back to my story.

At that point I was just like: “God… what exactly am I supposed to do here?”

We drove further into town and I spotted Bitemore and Chicken Republic.

I smiled and said, “Okay… at least there are eateries here.”

Forgive me, but since I had never visited before, the picture in my head had been of a very rural place.

Then…. Another shocking news… I saw even more trailers inside the town itself and I almost freaked out. Why were there so many? What exactly were they doing inside a town like this?

Eventually we moved in. And one experience I will never forget was the peace that came when I finally surrendered. The moment I accepted that this was where God wanted us, something shifted inside me.

Peace settled in. Rest followed. And adapting suddenly became easier. I saw ease too.

The images I had seen during my devotion slowly started unfolding in real life.

I discovered my church actually had a community here. The support I received and the warmth I experienced from people here is something I cannot fully describe.

Then I discovered Assembly- an absolutely beautiful, executive workspace that could stand anywhere in the country. And then Kinora, an African-American restaurant.

Little by little, Ogbomosho began revealing sides I had never imagined.

Has it been a perfect ride?

Not at all.

I’m still healing from the trauma of certain experiences within what was supposed to be a top-notch healthcare facility. And driving on those roads with trailers coming at you from every direction still makes me cringe.

I still miss my community of friends.

And honestly, sometimes the thought of making that trip back to Ibadan through that Ogbomosho road with the possibility of getting locked in between trailers just drains my morale.

But one thing remains enough for me.

I am where God asked me to be.

And over time I’ve realized something important.

If I insist on understanding everything God is doing before I obey Him, I will constantly be behind His agenda.

I have had experiences in my life where I made decisions that did not make sense to many people.

Like how a lawyer leaves the legal path to teach teenagers in a secondary school on the outskirts of town simply because of a leading.

It doesn’t make sense. Or how certain opportunities appear, and you cannot even take them because God is directing you somewhere else.

Here’s what I want to leave with you.

Trust God with your life.

Don’t wait to understand every detail before obeying Him. Yes, wisdom matters. Planning matters. But there are moments when God invites you to lay your logic down and simply follow His leading.

Some people think they are in a waiting season, when in reality they are in a hesitation season.

God already spoke.

But because the instruction does not make sense yet, they keep delaying the step of obedience.

Walking with God has taught me something I am still learning daily:

You don’t always understand the road, but you can trust the One leading you on it. This has been my testimony across many areas of my life- church, mentorship, friendships.

Only in the place where God plants you will you truly thrive. Just keep taking each step with God.

It is worth the journey.

Have a blessed weekend!

Earlier this week, God showed up for my family and turned what could have been a tragedy into a testimony.

I won’t go into all the details because that isn’t the main focus of this article. But as I look back now, my heart is full of gratitude.

Watching my daughter being stitched so close to her eyes and imagining how much worse it could have been, I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving.

God delivered us. Please, thank God with me.

But here’s where I’m really going.

After we returned from the hospital, my husband and I sat together praying and thanking God. And as we prayed, the Lord reminded me of something.

The week before the incident, I had a strong burden to pray for my daughter.

She wasn’t sick. She was vibrant. Jumping around. Completely fine.

Yet the burden wouldn’t lift.

I couldn’t explain it. I just knew she kept ringing in my heart. The more I prayed, the stronger the burden stayed.

One day, the prompting was so strong that I left everything I was doing and rushed to pick her up from school earlier than usual. Nothing negative happened that day. But I still couldn’t shake the feeling.

At the same time, I had become extremely busy. Deliverables. Deadlines. Morning and evening, I was glued to my laptop trying to meet expectations.

Because I slept late, I woke up late. Devotion became rushed. I would hurry through prayers while getting my daughter ready for school, mumbling declarations when my “pray-for-your-child” alarm went off.

I remember one night, I got my journal and strategized. It was too dangerous to leave my altar cold… God forbid it.

And then, a week later, I was rushing my child to the hospital. As a woman of the spirit, I can assure you, it would have been worse.

Let me say this gently.

I know you have goals. I know you want to excel in your career, become a thought leader, build something meaningful.

But life is spiritual.

A cold prayer altar is not neutral. It leaves gaps. Dangerous ones at that.

Everything may look fine now. But we live in a fallen world and everything you need to stand against the schemes of the enemy has already been given to you.

The question is: will you use it?

Discernment does not come simply because you pray, “Lord, give me discernment.” It comes from Intimacy. From consistently staying in the Word. From building a life of prayer.

When your spiritual signals are sharp, your heart will pick things up quickly. You will feel that tug, that restraint, that pull…

Can I say this to you….

Distraction is really how the enemy plays hide and seek with believers in this generation. The goal is is to weaken you and create a disinterest in spiritual things. Wondered why you now prefer to watch movies than pray?

And oh… even God-given assignments can become distractions if they take priority over intimacy.

In Reverend Peter Alabi’s words:

That prayerlessness you are experiencing at the moment is not the real issue. The real, dangerous issue is ahead. Let me explain what this means. Whenever you struggle to pray, something is coming. The devil aims to see that you are weak in the place of prayer as a ploy to achieve what’s ahead. Fight to protect your devotion!

The world is dark. We cannot afford to lower our guard.

The month is coming to an end. Let me ask you this:

How is your prayer altar? Are you truly spending time with the Lord? How has your spiritual walk been?

It’s time to check your spiritual vital signs.

This is our lifeline. The enemy prowls like a roaring lion.

Maybe you need a personal retreat- a quiet space where you can pray, reflect, and plan the coming month intentionally.

Maybe it’s time to stop praying whenever you feel like it and build a structure that fits your season.

If you’re tired and weak in prayer, maybe you need accountability. Gather with friends this weekend. Pray together. Strengthen one another.

There are seasons when your heart keeps tugging for longer hours in prayer. Seasons when you can’t shake off a burden. In those moments, make the time. It might save your future.

Let’s get back on track where needed. Spend time praying today. Worship. Meditate on the Word.

And remember, we don’t pursue God just to prevent attacks. We pursue Him because we love Him.

Have a blessed day.

Maybe that’s you too.

You sell a course but nobody buys it. You publish what feels like your best book and just a few family members and friends purchase the book.

People say, “Learn skills that are useful in the 21st century,” so you jump in. Copywriting. Creative writing. Social media management. Data analysis. You’re investing in yourself. You’re stretching. You’re trying.

And still… nothing.

It becomes even heavier when you have responsibilities. Imagine a father trying to provide and the numbers are not adding up.

Think about a mother stretching the little in her hands and it’s still not enough. And then you look around and see your peers living the life you’ve been praying for.

You find yourself whispering, “God… what is it?”

Let me talk to you the way I wish someone would talk to me in those moments.

Embrace stillness as part of your life system.

I don’t know how to scream this enough. Embrace stillness, not as an occasional escape but as a system.

When things aren’t working, panic is loud and anxiety pushes you to move quickly. You start watching what everyone else is doing. You start jumping from one idea to another. You sign up for another course. You launch something new. You pivot again.

I’ve done it.

There was a time I organized a course simply because I needed quick cash to meet some very important needs. It was rushed. I was scattered. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t my best work. It came from pressure, not clarity.

It was only after everything settled, after I stepped into stillness, that I began to see clearly what I should have done differently. In that quiet, I realized the direction was wrong. I eventually scrapped the entire program and followed the new path God placed in my heart.

You cannot get the best out of life by operating on autopilot. Especially not in seasons layered with fear.

Stillness is not laziness. It is strategy.

I’m not just talking about setting aside time to pray and rant about your problems. I mean extended time where you ask hard questions. “What should I be doing now? Is this even my lane? Who am I? Am I forcing something that isn’t meant for this season?”

In quietness-in worship, journaling, reflection- clarity begins to rise. Things start connecting. You start sensing redirection.

Start there.

Train your mind to capture what God is saying.

Not every thought should be dismissed as “just my mind.” I’ve learned to write everything down... of course that excludes thoughts that do not align with God’s word. I simply write, “These are the things I’m sensing. I will pray more about them.”

Over time, It becomes clear what is for now and what I should do later.

If you don’t have a consistent devotional life, start small. But start. Sit with Scripture. Pray consistently for 15 mins, then increase it.

Sit long enough for the noise to settle. Worship is a strategy to quieten that noise.

Find out your place in God’s agenda.

God is more interested in showing you your place in His agenda than in just solving your immediate financial needs.

Bread matters. Of course it does. We need to eat. We have bills. But the Lord of the earth is thinking beyond survival. He sees generations. He sees impact. He sees influence.

There have been times I poured my heart into a project- a novel, for instance-expecting it to produce income. And the instruction came: give it out for free.

I argued. “God, this book took my soul.”

But that instruction positioned me in ways I could not see at the time. It opened doors. It brought readers who later paid for other works. It expanded reach beyond what marketing strategies could have achieved.

I am not saying you should give your work away. I am saying walk with God’s agenda. Sometimes, the instructions will not make sense at the moment but obedience carries a wisdom that panic does not.

While you are seeing bread, God wants to give you a factory. He wants to put resources for the kingdom in your hands.

Redirections by the Spirit.

There is also something else we don’t talk about enough: redirection. Some things have simply overgrown their relevance in your life. What worked before may not be what this season requires.

Last year, I barely showed up on Instagram. I was too comfortable with Facebook. I told myself I wasn’t a “picture person.” I assumed the platform wasn’t for me. I would show up once or twice and disappear for months.

Then in prayer, the nudge came: it’s time to move. I had to be consistent on IG.

I struggled. I didn’t know how I would thrive there. I’m not a comedian. I don’t enjoy taking pictures. So I asked myself, what can I do? I started experimenting with text-based designs.

Within a few months, I had over 200 percent increase that translated into more training opportunities. My DMs were flooded with testimonies. It started to feel overwhelming that I had to get a social manager.

What am I saying? Sometimes your blessing is waiting inside a specific instruction. And that instruction may not align with your comfort zone.

You may be running too fast.

Someone finishes a two-week writing course and expects to become a bestselling author. Another person completes a short copywriting training and expects a 200k job immediately.

But mastery takes time. Enjoy the slow, rigorous journey. Excellence takes depth. You cannot rush substance.

Ask yourself uncomfortable questions. How many resources have I interacted with in my field? How many hours weekly am I deliberately practicing and refining my craft?

Am I producing work that I am proud of, or work I just want to release quickly?

If you become undeniably good, doors will open. You may not control the timing, but excellence has a voice. It will speak.

Finally, I need you to remember this: even the strongest people go through seasons where nothing seems to move. The intensity may differ. The circumstances may vary. But it is still a season.

Seasons end.

Do not make permanent conclusions from temporary pain. Stay grounded. Stay consistent. Be led. Yes, experiment when necessary, but do not drift aimlessly.

I’ll leave you with this encouragement from scripture:

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Keep going.

This season is not the end of your story. It is a chapter. And God is still writing.

Want to join my 30-day prayer and meditation program on clarity? Click the link below.

LIGHT: 30-DAY PRAYER AND MEDITATION WITH IGA

One evening, my ex (we were dating at the time), my best friend, and I decided to hang out. My best friend was leaving town, and we wanted to give her a memorable send-off, the kind of goodbye-we-will-miss-you moment that lingers.

So we went to this cozy spot known for really good waffles and chocolate tea. We had such a lovely time.

On our way out, my ex spotted someone and said, “Hey! How far?”

They laughed and chatted for a bit.

Then my ex turned to me and asked,
“Don’t you know him?”

I shook my head. My best friend also did not know him.

He smiled, looked directly at me, and said, “I know you. Aren’t you the Head of Sanitation?”

Just for context. I was heading that team before it was merged with the Ambience department of my church.

Then he mentioned my best friend’s name.

That was the first time I ever met him.

We left.

And honestly? I didn’t even take note of him in church. I completely forgot about him.

It happened again, at the same location, but this time I was alone with my ex.

After that, I began to see him here and there in church. I noticed he was part of the videography team. Quiet. Reserved. He barely mingled.

Meanwhile, I was the life of the party. I was well known in church. We were the kind who stayed hours after service ended. Church after church… is that not what you call it?

It’s funny now because in marriage, my husband has taken over that role. Sometimes I have to shout, “Mr. Alamu, let’s go home o!”

I think he has talked to almost everybody in church.

Anyway, for reasons I won’t go into here, the relationship I was in didn’t work out. We remained good friends, but there I was single again.

I scheduled retreats- hours weekly- where I sat with Cindy Trimm’s 40-Day Soul Fast and poured my heart out to the Lord. What is going on? God, just tell me if you have assigned me a eunuch role.

It was a lot at that time but I knew that first, I had to heal.

Pain can be tricky. I didn’t want to run into “kingdom assignment” as an escape route. I wanted to serve God healed and whole, not broken and distracted.

It took about a month of quiet retreating to get there.

Let me pause here and say something.

Whenever you experience pain, confusion, rejection, or consistent unhappiness, don’t sweep it under the carpet. Take a pause. Deal with it properly. Pain has a voice. And if you allow pain become the voice you hear, you won’t step into the best of God. In another post, I’ll talk about pain and also share deep thoughts on personal retreat.

I didn’t come out of that season saying, “I’m not interested in marriage again! I will just serve the Lord!”

No. That’s what pain can do to a person.

I knew I would get married. But during the wait, I would serve God wholeheartedly.

About a month later, I arrived at church early one morning, happy, really happy… We had just finished tidying up the stage area. I walked into the pew holding two mop sticks and there he was.

He smiled.

I didn’t remember his name, so I simply greeted him and kept walking.

But that evening, something strange happened.

I was in the kitchen when suddenly his image hit my heart with an emotion of love so strong I couldn’t explain it.

First of all, I laughed.

“Devil, you cannot catch me like this.”

You see, I had once been in a situation (I’ll share that story another time) where someone came to my mind repeatedly in prayer, and I believed he was “the one.”

So I was irritated with myself.

Ife, what is wrong with you? Stop this nonsense. But for days, I couldn’t get him out of my mind.

It became frustrating. I told my inner circle and begged them to pray with me. I remember sitting before God, ranting.

When I finished, I heard clearly:
“Open your journal.”

I didn’t even know what I was looking for. I just kept scrolling… until I found a particular entry.

I almost screamed.

I won’t bore you with the details, but that entry was the first sign that it was not just some mushy-mushy feelings.

Still, I resisted.

So I went on another retreat.

And God began to speak about what we would do together.

“Eh God! Which kind wahala be this?”

Then God gave me a specific instruction. Something I did not want to do.

But I obeyed.

And when I did?

I cannot explain what it triggered but my husband came after me. The pursuit was intense… and sweet.

Less than a year later, we were married.

When I think about the life we are building, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I look at the things God spoke years ago about my husband, and I can only say this:

Prophecy is unfolding before my eyes.

Here is what I have learned:

Your prayers are often connected to obedience.

From the instruction to move to the church where I met my husband… To joining the workforce immediately when I really wanted to stay detached for a while… To going on personal retreats… To showing up to disciple people even while I was hurting… To the final instruction that led to our relationship.

Instructions shape our journey.

When God says, “Let’s deal with this trauma,” please submit. It’s connected to your next season.
When He says, “Step out boldly,” obey.
When He says, “Stay here and wait,” don’t rush.

You might not like those instructions but trust me, His plans are only for your good.

Again and again, I have learned that my peace, joy, and progress are tied to what God is saying now.

This is not the year to go in circles.

What is God saying to you?
Do you even know?

Selah

Thank you for reading this far.

Enjoy the Valentine season. Do something beautiful for your friends, your spouse, and your family.

I look forward to sharing another thought with you next week.

By the way, if you are interested in learning how to write powerful stories whether fiction or creative non-fiction, the April cohort of The Firewriters Academy is now open.

Find the link below.

THE FIREWRITERS ACADEMY

I needed help with a particular project I was working on. Before this time, I had a protégé handling that area. We agreed on pay and kicked things off, but along the way she became unavailable because of her health.

The project paused, and even though I knew God had laid it on my heart to pursue it, I didn’t know how to move forward especially with everything else I already had going on.

Then someone else showed up, willing to take over. But she was different. She wasn’t just pragmatic, I felt she was rude. As we talked, my defenses went up. How can she talk to me like this? Who is she sef?

Most of the people who have worked on my projects over the years are people I’ve raised- from graphic designers to instructional designers, admins, and more. Some of them represent my “cave of Adullam” days, if you know what I mean. I’ve watched them grow and become excellent in their fields. But here was this young lady who was irritating me and honestly making me upset.

I was close to responding brashly and saying, “I can’t work with you. Please just go.”
But then I felt that quiet nudge, that restraint, to pause.

While I was fuming inside, I began to reflect.

What really is at the root of this? Pride? Isn’t that it?

For several minutes, I sat back and had that honest conversation with myself. Then I said “This pride will die here.” I returned to the conversation, still feeling heated about her tone but gradually I watched myself calm down. We continued negotiations, and in the end, things went very well.

I have learned again and again that self is the reason a person does not touch the depths of God or walk in the fullness of their Kingdom assignment.

This self-life is a major reason many prayers go unanswered. You want God to give you a spouse? Really? With that bad character? It is the core reason marriages fall apart and potential relationships never see the light of da.

When Paul says in Romans 6:11:

“Reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord…”

It means I have a part to play. I must be intentional about staying dead to the flesh-of course, in partnership with the Holy Spirit.

I truly want to be very alive to Christ in 2026. I hope this is your desire too. That in this year, as God exposes a behaviour that does not represent His life, I will respond and not back out because my flesh wants a way out.

How do we even stay alive in practical terms;

First, intentionally create space to meditate on the Word until it becomes a delight and permeates every area of your life. Honestly, I believe this is the strength you need to stay alive. It means being disciplined in your prayer life and reassessing the content of your prayers so they reflect surrender to God’s dealings, not just requests for your needs.

It means being willing to reckon- to be vulnerable and observant when God’s light shines on an area He wants to uproot. Even when your flesh feels strong and wants its way, you will take hold of it and starve it by refusing to respond.

It means choosing the opposite of what the flesh wants. Apologizing when prompted, even when you don’t feel like it.

Killing jealous or envious thoughts by openly celebrating those who seem like competition and praying sincerely for them.

It means, shutting down social media pages and deleting movies that have become entry points for lust while still setting up an accountability schedule that includes daily prayer, structured study time, worship and listening to sermons.

It means having conversations with yourself whenever your defenses rise in alignment with the flesh. Not going down the guilt road by saying, What is wrong with me? How could I act like this?” but remembering you are on a journey with God. You can start again right where you are and face the situation differently.

For more stubborn patterns, it means creating a focused plan: gathering scriptures related to that area, listening to sermons, crafting declarations, praying intensely with the Word, and talking with the Holy Spirit about wisdom to handle it…

To surrender or not to surrender is a choice. You can keep praying in tongues, giving prophetic words, and attending church faithfully, but if you do not deliberately keep this self-life crucified, you will not live a life that truly pleases the Lord. You also won’t touch the deepest places in God, because only love flows from there.

Will it be easy? No.
Will there be days when surrender feels harder because the wounds run deep? Yes.

But the greatest warfare often happens in the soul. We keep fighting even when we stumble. We rise again and press deeper until only the life of Christ is revealed through us.

Have a blessed week.

I ran the Firewriters Summit, a six-hour training for Christian writers. I followed it up with an intensive training program, then another three-month writing training. Alongside that, I ran one-on-one private coaching with multiple clients for a total of five to six months-reviewing writing assignments, preparing notes and slides, teaching, mentoring, listening.

In the same year, I published two books: a novel and a collection of stories. I wrote four feature-length scripts for clients. I ran intensive Bible study programs. And I did all of this while walking through the demanding journey of motherhood.

At some point, I had to pause and ask myself an honest question:

How did I do all of this without burning out?

The answer wasn’t grit. It wasn’t exceptional strength. It wasn’t even time management.

It was systems.

I saw three things very clearly: the blessing of obedience to God’s instruction, the reward of intentionally investing in people, and the joy that comes from walking in God’s assignment. All of these converged into one powerful gift: men.

Men as systems. People as God’s infrastructure.

During my days as a single lady, God began to give me very specific instructions, one of which was to open my home to young ladies. It was deeply uncomfortable. I love my space. I value quiet. But obedience often stretches us in the exact places we want to protect.

Different ladies came at different times, and with that came responsibility-loving them, accommodating their personalities, their flaws, their learning curves. I didn’t do it because I saw a future reward or a return on investment. I did it because I genuinely loved them.

And love, real love, is costly.

That instruction certainly paid off. From my pregnancy days through the newborn phase, infancy, and into nurturing my toddler, I never lacked help.

Even in that season, the ministry calendar did not pause. Bible studies continued. Prayer meetings went on. The leaders carried on faithfully, as though I were standing right beside them.

I believe strongly that I am blessed with the gift of men, and that I cannot be stranded. It is a conviction rooted in obedience to God’s desire and sustained by His design.

Relationships remain one of the strongest gifts God uses to set a person apart.

Loving people genuinely is rewarding but it is also exposing. It cuts to the core.It reaches the deepest recesses of your heart. It pulls vulnerability out of you. For me, it has tested how deeply sanctification has taken root. With people, you quickly discover whether you are truly bearing the fruit of the Spirit.

I understand pain. I understand the temptation to lock your heart so you never have to be hurt again especially when God keeps bringing people your way. But I also know that this is not what God’s love looks like. His love keeps no record of wrongs. It believes the best. It is patient. It is not shaped by worldly measurements.

The system of men will always be central to God’s agenda for advancing His kingdom. Read Colossians 4. Take note of the names in Romans 15. Paul did not fulfill his assignment alone. He ran with people. He leaned on people. He invested in people.

I am truly grateful to everyone who has served alongside me in one way or another. I hope that if they read this, they see how deeply appreciated they are. They are the reason I can walk boldly and move with speed in the different assignments God keeps placing in my hands.

You will not be stranded this year. I hope you believe that not just mentally, but with your heart. There is help for you. Men will arise to walk with you, to strengthen you, to support the work God has entrusted to you.

But remember this: as help is activated, you have a part to play. You cannot reap where you have not sown. Invest in someone. Raise men. Strengthen another person. Ask the Lord who needs your help and respond when He answers. If you are already doing this, God sees you and He will reward you. I know it can be tough and it will stretch you but do not stop.

Have a blessed week.

But I was scared. Write? What if people laughed at me? What if they didn’t enjoy it?

After a lot of back and forth, I finally shared something I had written- a funny dream I had. About three or four people liked it. That was all. It was small, but it was something.

A few months later, after I moved to Lagos, a story idea crossed my mind. Then the thought came again: Share it on Facebook. Just do it.

So here’s what I did. I posted the story and went to sleep. I wasn’t expecting any serious response. I already believed people didn’t like my style of writing.

A few minutes later, I woke up and lazily checked my phone. My eyes widened. What? Thirty-nine people liked my post. There were comments too. I was stunned.

I started writing more. I got better-more confident, more proficient. Feedback kept coming. People reached out to tell me my stories had transformed their lives. Slowly, it began to make sense that this was something I could actually do.

I started compiling short stories into e-books and emailed them to about a hundred people or more. I wrote the stories quarterly. Later, I started a blog and shared story series- some of which attracted thousands of readers. I would check the backend analytics and just stare at the numbers in awe.

The more I pressed in, the clearer it became: this was my destiny design. I was graced to tell beautiful stories.

But I would never have known if I hadn’t taken that step in 2012.

You never can tell what that idea brewing in your mind can produce. You never can tell the opportunities it might open or the impact you could make just by stepping out.

What if you fail… and so what?

There are things I’ve tried and failed at and realized they weren’t part of my strengths. There are projects that didn’t work out and that’s fine. We move.

This morning, a new idea started brewing in my heart. It first dropped during one of my personal prayer retreats, and it came again today. It’s going to be one of the scariest moves I’ve ever made. As I write this, I’m afraid because I don’t like the demands of it.

I’m asking the same questions I asked in 2012: Will people receive it? Will they like it? What if I fail?

This is my year of audacious moves, because the help of God is tied to His instructions. You can’t experience His help when you shrink back.

So do what burns in your heart this year. Face the fear of failure and remind yourself that it cannot overpower you because even if it doesn’t work out, at least you will learn something valuable from the experience.

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