You read the title right.

FUCK my Chungus life bro

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I don’t even know where to begin.

I wake up, and my eyes work just fine; I can taste food and breathe just fine.

I wake up with my back all stiff because I fell asleep on the sofa after a strong shift of domscrolling and INSTANTLY reach for my phone like a flippin chud the nanosecond i wake.

I walk past my siblings and don’t say good morning, because uno, I see them all the time so I seem to take that for advantage.

Have a nice shower, brush my teeth while I do a lil dance to We Can't Stop by Miley Cyrus (amazing song btw) and then go downstairs and GENUINELY crack 6 eggs into a bowl and eat them scrambled, mixed in with some goat’s cheese, salt and pepper while I watch Rick and Morty.

MY faculties of reason work perfectly.

I’m not diseased either.

I even have the capacity to actively work towards super fun goals, such as being a famous supermodel.

How cute.

I talk to my friends, and they make me laugh a lot.

I get to talk back to my parents at times.

I’m so blessed to have a functioning vehicle through which I get to experience all that I deem beloved to me.

Yet, I am ungrateful.

All these innumerable blessings, yet the pain of losing someone you love makes everything else seem so small…

The walls of your lungs start to feel tight, the faculties through which you breathe.

The eyes through which you even got to experience the beloved, all of a sudden are red, bathing in salty tears.

The hands through which you feel the softness of another… now struggling to feed the self.

Anger, washing over me like a tidal wave.

Grief knocking me down onto my knees.

The body is ungrateful.

My body is ungrateful.

Yet the soul is light and thrives in the pain.

Without it? There is no life.

Without darkness, there is no light.

Without pain, there is no joy.

And without Hell, there is no Heaven

Hell is a home to those who welcome it.

In Hell, there is Heaven

In Hell, there is Heaven

F*ck my Chungus life, my amazing beautiful life.

As a religious person (assuming you are) you may read the title of this article and be quite offended, taken aback? You probably heavily disagree with the title.

What do you mean, God hasn’t done sh*t?

He created the stars and the moon, the oceans and fruits

He saves children from burning buildings and answers your prayers!

Alhamdulilah.

But by his very will, millions, maybe billions across history have been murdered.
Innocent women raped, loved ones killed.

People being robbed, children being bullied.

Heck, you yourself reading this have probably gone through quite a lot. How can God be so great, when that supposed greatness has led to all this destruction?

Well,

I’m here to give my two cents on the central reason atheists and religious people just can’t understand each other. How both the average religious person and average atheist are the exact same person in essence, taking on different forms.

The atheist… sees God like a separate being. He is this majestic, perfect, all-loving entity that created the universe in all its magnificence and GLORY! Just for him to allow YOU to suffer?

(And as religious people, let’s not cope and say all suffering invites growth. Gratuitous evil, evil in which a person can be walking home and gets hanged, drawn and quartered, clearly isn’t helping that person who is now in cube form grow as a person.)

Would you say a father is loving if he lets his child get raped?

I know I wouldn’t. And if you think so, you are a disgusting person.

Therefore, the atheist is justified in rejecting this conception of God.

This isn’t to say religion is false though… We’ll get to that.

At times you see an atheist become a theist as they come to religion through reason, and then simply accept religion front-facing, as now they are epistemically justified to do so. But in a way, they can still be an atheist.

This brings me onto how the average religious person today sees God.

This Mighty King coming on the clouds of heaven. You don’t argue with his rulings; he rewards you generously, yet if you step an inch over the line…

“Indeed, those who disbelieve in Our signs, We will burn them in a Fire. Whenever their skins are completely burned, We will replace them with other skins so that they may taste the punishment. Indeed, Allah is Almighty, All-Wise.”
- Qur’an 4:56

The average religious person today may be extremely happy when a prayer is answered and thank God! But what happens when something doesn’t go their way? Are they still thanking God when an abomination occurs? Do they internalise hatred and dissatisfaction for their circumstances, or are they equally satisfied?

Would you forgive your dad if he rewarded you generously when you listened to him, but he put you in a fire and let you burn there as your skin regenerated for eternity?

Probably not akhi.

And as a religious person, sorry to say, but some of you may pray 5 times a day, you may fast, you may do Ramadan or Lent… but don’t ever think just because you are part of your specific organised religion that you are not an atheist at heart.

Do you truly believe in God, or do you believe in a sky daddy?

When a religious person is operating from God being separate, and when a non-religious person rejects that separatist idea of God. It is nothing but 2 sides of the same coin.

The atheist fitrah is recognising that viewing God as separate is shirk.

Everyone loves to talk about how great God is, but everyone forgets?

“Indeed, We created the human being and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than his jugular vein.” Quran 50:16

“He is the First and the Last, the Outward/Manifest and the Inward/Hidden, and He knows all things.” Quran 57:3

“Know that Allah comes between a person and his heart.” Quran 8:24

God is closer to you than your jugular vein, closer to you than your own heart?
The inward and the outward.

Not just out there somewhere; he is the most intimately related thing to you.

Does that sound like a tyrannical leader? Who just burns people for fun lol. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

There is something that the lay religious person and lay atheist are missing. Something you can’t blame these people for even missing because it has BEEN missed for generations.

And that is that all of creation is a disclosure of who God is.

To help you wrap your head around this concept, I propose an analogy.

When you draw a tree, are you disconnected from the drawing?

In a sense, absolutely. You created the drawing; you aren’t a tree 😂 but YOU drew that tree. That is your tree, and it took a bunch of memories and experiences that make up you to produce your tree.
The inner reality of the tree, you could say, is you
Maybe a more timid person would draw a smaller tree, and a LOUD AND VERBOSE PERSON WOULD DRAW A HUGE TREE!

well thats how I see the whole of creation.

We know God is perfectly loving, merciful, able, knowledgeable, avenging, sustaining, etc and HE CREATED EVERYTHING.

The same way you can look at a tree someone has drawn and maybe see signs from the tree about its creator, you can look at yourself and do the exact same thing.

So tell me, how much time do you spend with yourself?

How much time do you spend building an intimate connection and getting to know yourself? Or do you spend most of your time praying to God, looking for him in the sky? When the same creator who created the sky… created you.

You do not have independent existence from God. He fully encompasses you because you are nothing but a disclosure of him. To develop a relationship with God is ultimately to cultivate a good, honest relationship with yourself.

How much better of a place would you think the world is if people focused more on being a good person instead of arguing over whether the Trinity or Tawhid was correct?

After all?

“I was only sent to perfect righteous/noble character.” - The Prophet Muhammad SAW

Now I'm not saying sharia or Theology debates or apologetics don't matter at all and we all just focus on being good people.

No

“He is the First and the Last, the Outward/Manifest and the Inward/Hidden, and He knows all things.” Quran 57:3

God is equally the Outward and the Inward.

Working on the self and following the structure of religion are BOTH equally disclosures of God.

But nowadays too many people focus on the outer and not the inner.
Forgetting that ultimately the outer that we see with our own eyes is…

“…nothing but the enjoyment of delusion.” Quran 3:185

Our inner world is what ultimately dictates our relationship with God, not the outer.

If the inner reality of the universe is God, is love, is mercy, is expansion, is constriction etc

Then what happens if one’s internal state is everything other than that of peace, but one of anxiety, ego, anger and regret?

Something isn’t adding up?

It’s almost as if you have somehow gotten in the way of God? You are a disclosure of his perfection, and he says..

“…your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied.” Quran 93:5

That verse above is quite literally your inner reality, so if that’s not a verse you have truly internalised, and you worry a lot, get angry, let external circumstances rattle you and have control over you, and then you drop on your knees and beg God to change your circumstances… are you really operating any differently to an atheist?

Simply because you say you believe in God as a propositional statement, are you really that internally different from an atheist?

Now that we have explained how realising that your inner reality is God, as in you don’t have independent reality from him… neither does the rest of creation.

How does this change the problem of moral evil?

Well, I'm gonna answer this in the way that I see it.

I see the evil in the world more as a revelation of human corruption than one of blame to God, and here’s why.

Since whether someone is generally a good person (only known to God) is a revelation of one’s willing relation with him, then I make the argument that all evil in the world between humans is simply the willing distancing from God, and disrealisation of one’s inner reality.

There being evil around the world shouldn’t be externalised to the fault of some deity in the sky, but should be a revelation of the stature of the human being themselves.

The inner reality, foundation of existence, is already a perfect God.

So war between humans would simply be caused by humans willingly anchoring themselves externally in their own beliefs that the true reality.

Therefore, when God sends someone to hell.

It isn’t a room psychologically separate from the prisoner. It is the externalisation of an internal state one cultivated during their time alive.

Even in the Quran, on the day of judgement, the disbelievers are still blaming each other, with hellfire in front of them. A person who goes to hell is someone whom God sends to hell outwardly, while that judgement simultaneously reveals what this person has spiritually actualised themselves to over the course of their life, by willingly distancing themselves from God.

Islamically, when we are raised from the grave, our forms are physical, but they will be revelations of our internal states while we were alive. The spiritually ugly person will be in the form of someone identifiable as spiritually ugly, and the sincere person raised in a form that is oriented to God.

The composition of physical reality on that day will shift more toward the unseen. Compared to the dunya, where someone can be spiritually dead but be seen praying 5 times a day.

My main point is, we shouldn’t be focusing on “God sending people to hell and them unjustly burning”, no.

We should be focused on ourselves and our OWN sincerity and getting to know ourselves more and understanding that God is not far away.

And to think he is far away, whether religious or not, is the root of evil in this world.

Evil is a human decision. And the human choice toward evil is an actualisation of God wanting to experience himself fully through your own conscious experience, and part of that experience is God’s justice. You will reap what you sow, and your eternity is entirely in your hands, but at the same time not independent of God.

This is close to the idea expressed in the famous sufi “hidden treasure” tradition: “I was a hidden treasure; I loved to be known, so I created creation that I might be known.”

So when I speak about God “experiencing himself” through creation, I don’t mean God learns something he previously didn’t know. I mean creation is the manifestation and disclosure of what is already eternally known in God.

Now let’s tie this back to the title of this essay.

God didn’t do Sh*t

Was inspired by a TikTok of an atheist claiming that a doctor saving a child’s life has nothing to do with God.

Well, the doctor doesn’t exist independently of God, and is a self-disclosure of God’s mercy upon the child. Mercy exists because God is merciful

To think the doctor is separate from the action of saving the child’s life, whether from the angle that God doesn’t exist, or not recognising the doctor’s pivotal role and praising God, are both, in different fonts, misunderstandings of the underlying love woven into reality itself.

To Allah belong the east and the west, so wherever you turn, there is the Face of Allah. Indeed Allah is All-Encompassing, All-Knowing.” Quran - 2:115

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This realisation entered my consciousness during an esoteric spiritual journey, which is still ongoing.

And I don’t even know where it came from.

I have a brief history with apolgetics, spending my days researching Christology. Learning theology so I could better dismantle ‘the Christians’ to further reinforce my ego, which was tied to my identity as a muslim. Barely a muslim esoterically. Anywho. Long story short, I had a baseline level of knowledge when it comes to the trinity, hypostatic union, tawhid and the likes.

A while after this era, I embarked on a new spiritual journey. I started reading books filled with knowledge from hermetic and rosicrucian philosophical traditions to new age spirituality books… and I started noticing all these books connect in many different ways, all talking about the same ‘divine’ laws. I was able to link these back and synergise them with Islam due to my previous experience in the apologetic field, and I felt as if I was progressing spiritually, mentally and physically all of a sudden. I felt great.

But one specific ‘law’ I found really interesting.

The concept of the ‘I’ and ‘Me’ distinction.

How we aren’t the thoughts we get, but they are just like sheep grazing a field or a stormy weather passing by.

How can you feel consumed by anger one second and then be confused as to how you even got that angry? You are watching all of this. Sat back and relaxed. Silent and serene.

Now, being aware of being aware is a very powerful realisation that a lot of these books taught me, drawing on hermetic traditions… but. When I finally got around to reading esoteric Islamic knowledge, I started making.. uncanny connections?

Islamically, the ‘I’ can be identified with the ruh (soul) and the ‘Me’ can be identified as the nafs. The ruh coming from the realm of command, God’s spirit breathed into man, kun fayakun. The nafs are a product of the whispers of mankind and jinn alike. Inherited beliefs from family, friends and culture.

So I landed at the conclusion that Islamically, humans are composed of 2 natures, you could say… One divine, one human.

Not a conglomerate of God’s real essence with a human one, but a divine spark that exists within all.

Now I know obviously the doctrine of Jesus’ two natures is very different to this, BUT I couldn’t help but draw the comparison, a sort of Islamic hypostatic union. Christians nowadays conclude from the verses of the bible that Hazrat Isa ibn Maryam is ontologically fully God and fully man, but as a muslim myself, how would I interpret the words of Jesus in the biblical sources to arrive at the Islamic hypostatic union?

"On that day you will realise that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you." John 14:20

"The Father and I are one." John 10:30

"...that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe you have sent me." John 17:21

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one, I in them and you in me, so that they may be brought to complete unity." John 17:22-23

This repeating language that Jesus used, constantly preaching how he is one with Abba, as he would have said. Sounds very similar to Ibn Arabi’s Wahdat al-Wujud. Meaning oneness of being. A doctrine that states all of existence is a reflection of God.

That we are not separate from God, and that God is within, which seems to be a core tenet of the teachings of Jesus.

Now, this is just an esoteric reading of these texts; I’m not claiming this is what the authors of the gospels intended to portray, most likely not, given the second temple Jewish context of the gospel of John specifically. They most likely did see Jesus as a divine name bearer, more than just a human with a divine spark.

I am merely offering Jesus through a different lens.

Not God incarnate, but a human carrying a divine spark that originates in fullness. A man who, when he says “the Father and I are one,” is not claiming exclusivity, but pointing to a reality he has remembered and we have forgotten. He is not the only one with the Father. He is the one who has realised it and is showing the way.

He makes this clear in how he speaks: he does nothing of his own will, but acts in complete alignment with the divine (John 5:19). The Father is in him, and he is in the Father (John 14:11). This language can be read not as separation between two beings, but as perfect unity of will and awareness.

From this perspective, his teachings begin to resemble a deeper metaphysical principle: that the ultimate Reality is present within all, and that all existence unfolds within it. And more than that, Jesus does not keep this relationship to himself. He repeatedly expresses the desire that others enter into the same unity he embodies.

John 17:11: "Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name... so that they may be one as we are one."

John 17:21: "...that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us..."

John 17:22: “I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one”

Being one with the Father doesn’t seem exclusive to Jesus to me.

Being one with God isn’t even exclusively a muslim teaching or even an Abrahamic teaching; it’s found within multiple esoteric traditions. Different exoteric rituals and prayers, but they all hit the same note on the piano. That to know yourself is to know God. Everything you need to know God is within, and hitting that note, Muslim or not, IS ISLAM… Submission is the language of God; you cannot be in the ‘‘wrong religion’’ when your soul is aligned with love, true, pure intention and acting from it? This is truly divine.

Maybe Jesus is "fully human" because he has a body and a soul, and "fully divine" not because he is God, but because he is a perfect mirror. A mirror reflecting the sun is full of light, but the mirror is not the sun itself. Maybe he was a humble esoteric, genius shepherd whose teachings were filtered through Second Temple Jewish interpretations, then later through Greco-Roman traditions, which led us to an extremely literal view of his teachings. That he has two natures, that he is literally God, and he is the second person of a triune Godhead, and you need to believe he died for your sins to reach heaven because you are a sinner and deserve hell.

But habibi?

Didn’t you know?

"Behold, the kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:21

Yours Truly,

Ihaveadoogee

You probably think of passion-fuelled moments, the famous axiom ‘‘if you love someone, you don’t let them go’’. The man and the woman, despite clearly being horrible to one another, never seeming to split, as if they were seeking to punish each other. Chasing each other into the depths of hell.

Surely this cannot be love?

I started thinking of this myself after a conversation with a close female friend, listening to her speak about her relationship problems. How she was going insane because the guy she liked was acting distant, and how she will feel ok when he isn’t acting distant. She also said that when he is not distant, she can even sometimes be cold toward him.

Very odd, I thought to myself.

I told her, “Doesn’t it sound like you are dating yourself?”

She looked at me, so very confused and asked me to elaborate.

And so I did. To me, she very clearly wasn’t in love. If you can act cold when you have someone and then lose your mind when they pull away, you are in the relationship to verify something about your own identity. When the person pulls away, it feels as if your identity is slipping. Death of the self. But we coat this reality in powdered sugar, calling the exhausting push and pull of the relationship “passion-fuelled”.

This selfish cycle to preserve one’s identity, feeding each other and starving each other. Two people who think they are in love, but the crippling reality is that they would rather both destroy each other physically for eternity than potentially feel the death of the soul. They would be mistaken. The soul cannot be hurt by physical circumstances. Stuck in this cycle for so long, stuck in the cloud of pain that they forgot the sky behind is always blue and clear, fresh air.

This blue sky is where love really lies.

And you can only get there by moving out of the clouds.

When you are there, your brain is finally clear. You may look at the person you thought you loved and find them unrecognisable… or realise you do truly love them.

And sadly, only the strongest can accomplish this. I say this because when you look at the media and how people commonly view love, it’s seen as a reflection of each person’s own void. Popularised to the masses. A pity to see.

True love is loving from overflow, being so full, and via your personal agency, choosing to stretch it towards another. Creation, not consumption. This is truly divine! The starting point has to be the blue sky. You've got to let go of the familiarity of the other person to find out if you truly love someone. And when you do, you will learn so much about yourself and what you truly feel about the other person. You will walk away full of love, or you will walk back to them so full you want to share your newfound love. And that’s when you stop dating yourself, and you start truly loving another.

If you are someone whose emotions are heavily tied to how someone treats you, you’re in the clouds. YOU ARE THE SKY. Sadness comes, sadness goes. Happiness comes, and it also goes; all emotions come and go. But the person observing the emotions never changes. The sky is always there, no matter the weather. That’s who you are twin, you are the sky.

And the sky’s the limit.

Once you realise you are the sky, you stop mistaking storms for love.

Yours truly,

Ihaveadoogee

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