It all started with a voice note…

"Ahh cousin. Things are tight here in Port Harcourt. Can I just come and crash for 2 weeks?.. I’d be job hunting in Abuja. You know you’re my favorite person in the family ❤️" (the indirect blackmail)

…2 weeks only, wasn’t a terrible idea.

That was April 21th.

It’s now August.

Week 1: The Guest

He arrived with one backpack and 2 "Ghana-must-go" bags… "Just clothes and my laptop," he said…. The laptop was for "job applications." The bags were for "everything else." (Okayyyy…..)

His mum (mama) was so appreciative. "Family is indeed family" she said

Dad said, "He’s a good boy. I know He’ll sort himself out."

I said, "2 weeks.. no worries”

He cooked jollof once. We called him chef for 3 days.

Week 3: The Tenant

The backpack is now positioned in the living room, on the sofa permanently, and the guest room?.. Infact, the shelves and entire wardrobe had been filled with his ‘everything else’, carefully arranged. Didn’t look like buddy had any intention of moving out soon. He’s figured out the WiFi password, the Netflix login, and that I buy garri every Tuesday.

The group chat started:

Aunty Blessing: So how is work going?

Cousin: Aunty… well, interviews are coming. God is in control 🙏

Uncle Tayo: In my time, 2 weeks was enough to get 3 jobs.

Me: (hmm)

Week 6: The Landlord

He now has opinions.

"The sitting room light is too bright."

"Can we change DSTV to sports package? For my morale."

"Who ate the last egg?"

He’s wayyy too comfortable now

He’s applied to 2 jobs. Both were "not a good fit."

Today: Month 4

The group chat is on fire again.

Mama: My son, how far?

Cousin: Mama I’m fine. Just trusting God. Also, can someone from home send my small brown bag down to me? I need some more outfits and I’m short on cash, I need some money for my well being

Aunty Blessing: Send account number

Uncle Tayo: Ehn. “2 weeks”

Me: typing... deleting... typing...

I love him. He’s family.

But I also love my peace, my food, my privacyyyyyyyy and my guest room.. it’s kinda my second favorite place in my house

The worst part? I don’t know how to tell him to leave without looking like the "bad relative".

What would you do tho?

A. Give him one more month?

B. Set a firm exit date?

C. Start charging him rent?

D. Leave it to God and Aunty Blessing’s money?

Drop your verdict below. And tell me your worst "2-week guest" story 👇🥴

Next week: Episode 2 - The Aunty Who Screenshots Everything

Okay, don’t roll your eyes just yet.

I noticed something lately… Actually... I’ve noticed it for years. I just never realized I was guilty of it too.

So, every other inspirational quote is telling us to slow down… Rest... Protect our peace... Romanticize life literally.

Which is great... until “protecting your peace” somehow turns into avoiding your responsibilities.

Because, be honest...

How many of us have said, “I’ll do it tomorrow,” knowing fully well tomorrow has been on repeat since February?.. In my crazy case; it was a procrastination that lasted for about a decade. Oh Iman… #deep sigh

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the universe isn’t going to miraculously climb that ladder for you, you gotta wake up and act.

Your future self isn’t some superhero who’s magically more disciplined than you are today.

So, are you still waiting for motivation??.. I’ve realized that motivation is often unreliable. Sometimes the real push is the thought of looking back one day and wondering, “What if I’d just started?”

Rest is good tho, I mean, how can a vehicle function effectively if the engine is faulty??? I personally love rest; everyone does

…Sleep.

…Take a break.

…Go on that hangout.

…Watch a movie.

…Touch grass if you must.

But once you’ve rested... PLEASE GET UP!!! In fact, ARISE!!!. lol

Because time has this annoying habit of moving whether we’re ready or not.

You see in Ephesians 5:15–16

“Be very careful, then, how you live... making the most of every opportunity.”

Many translations render this as “redeeming the time”, emphasizing that time is precious and should be used wisely.

I honestly think we’ve confused intentional living with delayed living.

Because life isn’t necessarily asking us to rush.

It’s asking us to stop waiting for a perfect moment that probably doesn’t exist.

Anyhoo...

That’s my little rant for now.

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