For a period of time, that memory was blocked by my brain; I think it was overwhelming for a nine-year-old to perceive her father as someone who would hit a very pregnant woman.

Another moment in my life was when I was babysitting for a wealthy family in Miami.
I decided to walk the child from the neighborhood they stayed in to the neighborhood where their friends were located, which was a 35-minute walk.
Right until a man yelled for me from across the street—he was wearing a ski mask.
He stood next to me, gun in his hoodie, and told me to give him my phone or that he would harm my baby.
He didn’t know that I was just a nanny.
In my confusion, I began asking him questions: Why do you want my phone? What are you going to do with my phone if it is locked?
When I screamed for help, he took off with only my purse.
Later, we found out that the man had been targeting women with babies and strollers.
I would’ve never gotten robbed if I hadn’t been with a baby.

Even beyond the risk around pregnancy in relationships and in society, mothers typically assume most responsibilities associated with children.
I’ve observed this time and again in my work supporting mothers and in my personal life.
The sad reality is that many women are socialized to compete for men, and if that competition means ending up in a dynamic that leaves their bodies exhausted, then so be it.
My argument is that since society already assumes the bulk of responsibility will fall on her, he should at least care enough to treat her like a priority and to make her life easier in the ways that allow her to have the bandwidth to support the child.

The truth is, men aren’t socialized to support child-rearing the way women are.
I had dolls with diapers as a child, then went on to help raise my younger sisters.
Meanwhile, my father, an actual parent, was expected to do far less than I was as a daughter.
Even in medical settings, the father isn’t treated as a primary parent.
Research shows mothers are assumed to be the central figure, while fathers are framed as secondary, even when they themselves feel sidelined.1
From birth onward, parenthood is reinforced as a woman’s primary role, while men are positioned as optional.

This ties into the colonial history of medicine, especially gynecology, which was built on the exploitation of enslaved Black women, often experimented on without anesthesia.2
When the very foundations of women’s healthcare are rooted in sacrifice and pain, it’s no surprise that routine care still feels uncomfortable or dismissive of women’s needs.
The same logic shapes our work culture: it’s built around the circadian rhythm (a daily cycle) instead of the infradian rhythm (the monthly hormonal cycle).
If workplaces accounted for the ebb and flow of women’s energy throughout the month, life would be more sustainable—not just for women, but especially for those who are neurodivergent or under chronic stress.

And stress itself rewires the brain.
It trains your body to scan for threats instead of opportunities.
That survival mode leaves you exhausted more easily, and it lingers long after the crisis is over.

When one group holds disproportionate power, both sides carry the imprint: the victims inherit trauma, and the privileged inherit a distorted sense of safety that depends on others staying small.
So when that balance shifts, when women and other marginalized groups gain power, it can feel like a kind of trauma to those who were promised dominance.
Their socialization told them the world would always tilt in their favor, and suddenly it doesn’t.
That’s a kind of ego death.
But the truth remains: you can’t expect others not to rise just to protect your feelings.

And this is why I always warn against 50/50.
When the baby comes, it won’t be 50/50.
It will fall on you, and you’ll be the one policed for how you show up as a mother.
If you’re already exhausted in the dating phase, splitting bills, carrying the emotional load, imagine what that looks like postpartum.
You deserve a man who sees caring for you as just as important as caring for the child, because you are the foundation of the family.
When you’re supported, you get to remain soft, present, and visible, not invisible and drained.
And that’s the difference between surviving motherhood and actually thriving in it.
So choose wisely.
A father is only as good as how he treats the mother.

I’ve had three mothers in my life: the woman who gave birth to me, the woman who raised me during my most formative years, and the girl who became my mother much too young.

They taught me many things, from the importance of a quality education to independence, to the need for a backup plan if you ever depend on a man.

But they did not teach me how to date kind men, how to love myself, or how to pursue a life worth living.

That inspired me to start this brand: to share the lessons I had to learn on my own.

The easiest entry point was dating.

It’s a skill, and for a time I enjoyed sharing it.

But eventually I realized: dating isn’t hard, it’s simple.

If he likes you, you’ll know.

If not, move on and pour into yourself.

For me, that’s where dating ended.

Simple lessons, simple results.

What feels deeper and truer to me now is motherhood.

Given the current state of the world, it feels tone-deaf to focus on romance while women everywhere are struggling to be safe, supported, and seen.

My energy is better spent being a resource for women at their most vulnerable: during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

I’ll be shifting toward insights, resources, and reflections on maternal wellness and somatic support so that together we can create a culture where motherhood is safer, more supported, and more valued.

If that resonates, I’d love for you to stay connected.

I may occasionally share something on relationships, but my focus is on what truly matters: commitment to self and building a future where women and mothers are fully seen.

I used to try to be.

I contorted myself into the mold I was raised in: meek, small, naive.

I searched for love outside of myself, even though I was the source.

The patriarchy stifles the fire in women.

It punishes us for being wild, magnetic, and powerful.

It teaches men to disconnect from their humanness and perform violence just to feel worthy.

But I am not a submissive woman.

I wouldn’t call myself dominant either.

I’m a muse.

The kind of woman whose presence lingers.

Who awakens dormant things.

I am the hedonist, the lover, the friend.

I am the imperfect echo of my lineage and the perfect recipe for intoxication.

And how did I become this?

I made it normal in my body.

I gave myself permission.

That is what somatic healing is.

Permission for your body to become what it always knew it could.

It doesn’t demand perfection.

It demands presence.

Period.

Click here to apply for somatic coaching with me.

There’s 3/4 slots left for anyone interested in 50% off three months of somatic coaching ($500 total investment)…

So if you are ready to stop performing softness for men who do not protect you, and start embodying power that protects itself, this work is for you.

Growing up in a home where my dad adored me but hated every other woman taught me something:

A man can harm women even while enjoying proximity to them.

It also taught me this:

There are always signs (if you know what to look for).

Lately, with everything happening in the American government, I’ve felt even more called to offer my energy in a way that helps women feel protected, held, and powerful.

Frankly, many men are not safe (even the ones who don’t mean to harm you).

And if your body is under constant stress, it won’t be able to tell the difference.

You’ll either:

• Perceive everything as dangerous and project a savior complex onto the “nicest” guy,

• Or miss dangerous cues entirely because your nervous system is in freeze or fawn.

So this is what I’m doing:

While I’m becoming certified in a new modality of somatic healing, I’m offering a limited-time 3-month coaching package for $500 (usually $1,000).

This is a practicum container while I’m integrating a new modality.

My coaching will not be offered again at this price so get it while it is available.

This new approach to somatic healing is for women who are ready to be held in deep transformation.

If even one of these apply, then my 1-on-1 coaching is for you:

• You want to heal from hyper-independence

• You’re ready to decenter male validation

• You need to regulate your nervous system

• You want to become the woman who receives, rests, and is adored

• You want to detect unsafe dynamics before they spiral

• You want to reclaim your softness without abandoning yourself

• You’re ready to stop defaulting to survival-mode in friendships, romantic relationships, and when it comes to your dreams

• You want to feel valuable without over-performing

I’m only taking 4 clients.

Once those spots are filled, I’ll be closing enrollment to focus fully on my training.

If you’re interested, or know someone who might be, just reply to this email or DM me on Instagram (@innernoor).

I’ll send you the details and see if it’s the right fit.

Safety starts in your body.

Let’s nurture that together.

With care,

Kylie

It made me think about my younger self and how badly she wanted to get married, find her husband, and discover the love of her life.

Women were not put here to be Lover Girls™.

Women were put here to be full of joy, to be satiated, to be supported…

Not to live in a state of yearning, hoping to pair bond with a man, or the person who is statistically most likely to murder you.

And let’s be real: it’s not just about yearning.

It’s about what we’ve been taught to yearn for.

Marriage was never for love.

It was a legal and economic contract that traded women as property.

And even now, the statistics don’t lie: in romantic contexts, men are far more likely to harm their partners than vice versa.

So if you find yourself yearning for a man, for marriage, for a soft life you’ve been told only a man can give you…

Just ask: is this my desire, or my conditioning?

Let’s define the Lover Girl™:

A Lover Girl™ is the archetype of the woman whose emotional world revolves around finding a man to complete her or save her.

This identity masks deeper social conditioning that ties a woman’s value and happiness to romantic attachment.

This trope glosses over the risks and social conditioning behind that yearning, reducing her identity to someone whose happiness depends on external validation and romantic attachment.

She tends to:

• Confuse longing with love

• Believe her happiness will begin/be complete when she finds Him

• Feel uncomfortable or incomplete when she doesn’t have a man to pour her emotional energy into

• Use her romantic desires as justification for poor boundaries (she says things like “I can’t help it” and makes excuses)

• Constantly envision the future through the lens of partnership with a man or marriage

• Romanticize emotional unavailability and overcompensate to make romantic dynamics work

A woman who feels her feelings:

• Acknowledges her desires without attaching or clinging to them

• Knows the difference between a passing urge and an inner knowing

• Asks: “Can this desire be met safely and sustainably now?”

• Doesn’t pathologize wanting a relationship with a man who adores her, but doesn’t build her life on the promise that he will come to rescue her

• Understands that sometimes what feels like romantic longing is an unmet need for safety, joy, or nervous system coregulation

• Trusts her capacity to self-soothe and still welcomes intimacy

• Is clear: men may complement her life, but they don't complete it

A Lover Girl™ yearns to trust in a man while a girl who feels her feelings knows that men are unpredictable; a girl who feels her feelings trusts herself to navigate any unexpected dynamics that come her way with self-kindness.

I’m not saying you should shame any versions of yourself.

But what I am saying is that to exist with men, you will often have to navigate a split in your psyche.

This is also referred to as cognitive dissonance, or when someone experiences discomfort because their actions or relationships contradict their values.

If you value kindness, you’ll eventually realize that many of the men around you, your cousin, your father, your uncle, your partner, have been socialized to put their needs first.

This is deep socialization.

It is not easily undone.

And over and over again, you’ll find that it’s not sustainable for most men to show up with kindness in the long term unless you’re willing to forgive the many moments when he is unkind; the moments when he is borderline abusive.

I do believe there are good men in the world.

But even good men are still men.

Transparently, I feel heartbroken for The Wizard Liz.

For her to have to go through something like this while pregnant is a huge fucking blow.

I can only imagine the pain in her heart right now.

I know a lot of women want to find love.

But more than that, I know you will be disappointed over and over and over again as long as you look for something outside of yourself, as long as you commit to the stories you were conditioned to want, instead of what is.

A man is never going to come to save you.

That’s the unfortunate truth…

The belief that you would be rescued by a prince was designed to make you put your power outside of yourself.

To dedicate the potency of your feminine energy, the proximity of your godliness, and give it to a man, so he might break off a piece of it and hand you back something significantly less than what you deserved.

And that’s why I’m telling you: the Lover Girl™ who was conditioned into you growing up… she doesn’t have to be with you for the rest of your life.

She’s part of who you had to be to become who you will be.

But you don’t have to over-identify with her.

You don’t have to prove that she belongs or that she needs a seat at the table.

She’s just there.

You can feel her.

You can even name her.

“Ah, there’s my inner lover girl, that sweet little girl.”

The vulnerabilities of motherhood:

Beyond the heartbreak of betrayal that we’re witnessing for Wizard Liz, what struck me most was the timing.

The Wizard Liz is pregnant.

She’s preparing to bring life into this world, and yet, in her most vulnerable state, she’s experiencing this deep emotional harm.

And that isn’t rare.

The leading cause of death for pregnant women in the U.S. is homicide, often at the hands of an intimate partner.

That statistic is brutal.

But it reflects something most of us already feel in our bones:

Mother energy, Cancer energy, is so often abused, misdirected, and undervalued.

We’re taught to mother others before we mother ourselves.

We’re taught to build homes for other people.

We’re taught to create on behalf of someone else—never for ourselves.

But this Jupiter in Cancer transit is a portal.

A portal to reroute that power.

To channel it not into rescuing a man, chasing a fantasy, or nursing disappointment, but into creating something that genuinely nurtures you.

That’s what this upcoming workshop is about.

Full transparency: I wasn’t planning to “sell” anything this early.

But divine downloads don’t always follow our timelines, and this Jupiter in Cancer transit is too powerful to ignore.

So here’s what’s happening:

• I'm sending out a manifestation workbook next week so that you have a printable that you can hang up in your physical space

• We’re gathering on June 9th at 9 PM EST for a live ritual + workshop to channel Jupiter in Cancer energy

  • Jupiter is the planet of abundance, fortune, knowledge, expansion

  • Cancer is the sign where Jupiter is THE most powerful; cancer is also the sign that associated with the mother and the cardinal water energy

What the ritual/workshop will look like:

• It’ll be intimate, focused on embodiment, and rooted in feminine manifesting

• There will be no replays so save the date

• No pressure to stay as a monthly member past the workshop, you can cancel at any time

What you need to do to join:

• Become a monthly subscriber to this blog now, the investment is $22.22 and it gives you access to all the paid material that I've posted up until now

• Make sure my emails aren't going to your spam folder

• Nothing else. Joining as a monthly member automatically makes you eligible to receive emails that will include the manifestation workbook and the Zoom link for the ritual

Subscribe now

The best way to manifest is when many women are manifesting on your behalf, too.

Men know this, that is why they do whatever they can to be near us.

This post, the guidebook that goes out next week, and the workshop aren’t about blame.

It’s about freedom.

The fact that you’re still reading suggests that you know this is something you need…

Upgrade to monthly now.

Have you ever felt absolutely enthralled by a man?

And this is a safe space, okay?

I don’t want to hear any of the “pick-me” stuff.

There is a time and place for that and right now I just want us to be honest with ourselves.

Have you ever felt that a specific man showing up for you would literally change your life for the better?

He would hold you in all the ways you need to be held.

He would provide you with the security you’ve been yearning for.

He would safeguard your heart in his hands and make sure it was always safe.

Because I definitely have.

I haven’t in a while, but I definitely have.

The last time I desired a man like that was about a year ago, when I was under extreme amounts of stress.

He was attracted to me, don’t get me wrong, but attraction is never enough.

I remember the moment we both realized we were into each other.

We were meeting up with a group of people.

He came late, but this group adored him; probably because of his proximity to extreme wealth.

He was about to step away for a second to grab lunch, and he just stood there, staring at me.

I think he was hoping I’d say I wanted to come with him.

Hoping we could finally be alone… even just for twenty, thirty minutes.

And I just stared back.

The air between us felt so heavy.

My heart was pounding against my ribcage.

All the aching.

All the energy.

But it goes nowhere without structure and safety.

And all that is left is the soft, dangerous murmurs of something that could have been love.

I couldn’t bring myself to say that I wanted to go.

I didn’t know if I wanted to go, it felt like a yes but it was so scary.

I wanted him to invite me.

This is what it looks like when there’s no masculine container for attraction.

Just a lot of feelings and energy, chemistry even, but not enough structure.

Not enough safety.

What I was experiencing back then was limerence.

Limerence in simple terms is when you are so intensely preoccupied with someone that you begin to feel emotionally dependent on the thought of them.

It is an addiction to what could be with someone who is not showing up in the way they do in your fantasies.

Limerence is exactly the reason why manifesting a person can be difficult.

When manifesting a person, because of their free will, the usual manifestation rules don’t always apply.

You’re dealing not only with their free will but also their unique perspective of the universe.

So while, typically, you would be allowing the universe to conform to give you your desires, now the expectation is that the universe conform to have them experience what they must experience so that they can show up how you need them to.

Trauma-informed magnetism isn’t about being palatable to powerful men.

It’s about knowing which men are actually safe for your nervous system and reclaiming the spiritual strength that patriarchy tried to cut you off from.

I know manifestation talk can feel like fantasy, especially when you’ve been betrayed before.

But women are powerful.

You are powerful.

Not from a naive place.

From a grounded, regulated, embodied one.

I’ve seen this power work in my own life, and I want more women to experience that too.

In the rest of this mini lesson, we’re diving deep into the mechanics of manifesting a specific person (how it differs from general manifestation, and the soft skills that help you move through limerence with power and grace).

This is about more than mindset.

It’s about energy, somatic self-trust, and deep nervous system regulation.

If you’re ready for the full breakdown (plus access to my private archive of teachings on feminine energy, discernment, and dream girl embodiment), join as a monthly or annual member today.

Read more

The group is very relaxed, but, because of my background, my default is to operate as professionally as possible.

But there came a moment when I was feeling the music.

It was one of those moments when the body takes over before the mind can catch up.

And so, my body felt called to lower my torso, tighten my abdomen, and let my head swing…

My hips just moved on their own.

The movement felt yummy.

And afterward, one of my managers, a Black woman, said, “You ate that up,” I just smiled and said thank you.

Then my other manager, a Black man, who I have a slight crush on, asked me, “How are you going to be shy and then move like that?”

I responded, “How I just did.”

What struck me about that moment was that this wasn’t performative; I wanted to enjoy the swaying of my body.

I was responding to the intersectional pleasures of being near someone who I found attractive, listening to music that tickled my brain in just the right way, and being in a room with the right amount of atmosphere.

This movement did not come from my mind…

It came from somewhere older.

Deeper.

This got me thinking about the other ways the body tries to speak—how it reaches for sensation, for relief, for regulation.

Sometimes, like dancing, this communication is beautiful.

Other times it is painful, messy, and isolating.

Even the things that hurt a little can feel like home when the body is trying to soothe itself.

Read more

However, I’ve decided to divorce myself from my lover-girl nature.

When I say “lover girl,” I mean specifically the version of me who naively hoped for the best, who was disappointed in my romantic options, who gave away all my power.

Now, I like to gatekeep my softness.

My softness is the most magnetic she has ever been because she is only experienced by those who honor her.

I’m no longer in a space where I am willing to put her in the presence of those who might take advantage of her generosity…

The security I now offer lets her blossom to her fullest potential.

This post is specifically for the girlies who feel disillusioned with men.

These 12 truths are what finally ended my obsession with men, re-centered me in my body, and helped me create a love life that actually feels good.

You’ll never see men, or yourself, the same way again.

Read more

However, if we're getting technical, marriage doesn't offer many benefits for women unless you're marrying someone wealthy or at least with assets.

That's why I think it's important to stop centering what society or others tell you to center.

Right now, there's a shift happening in social dynamics where men are having to earn their place in women's lives because women are succeeding so well without them.

This is how things are naturally—but patriarchal institutions created and upheld a pseudo need for men.

If you're focused on the structures society tells you to focus on, you might quickly realize you don't feel like you measure up.

The "shoulds" around desiring marriage are often more about what you think ought to be the case.

That's why I believe marriage shouldn't even be in your top ten goals.

If it is, that's completely fine—you deserve to enjoy your desires.

AND, l invite you to be curious about what it might be like to shift your desires.

What if, instead of marriage, you hoped for a partnership with someone willing to put assets in your name?

You don't need to be married for that.

What if you desired community with women who care about your safety and wellness?

What if you sought relationships with men who think you are inherently valuable?

What if you shifted your desire for marriage into something that makes you feel supported, safe, and closer to your dream life?

The reality of men and relationships is never what we were conditioned to believe.

After de-centering men, I started aligning with men who are interested in ME (not so much what I can do for them).

I attract men who are willing to invest in me.

I attract men who hold space for me, not because I’ve proven I’m “good at giving,” but because I embody the energy that comes naturally to me.

For a long time, I wanted to be a good wife.

I wanted to be a good person.

And then I realized I’m not willing to limit myself to be a “good wife.”

So I let go of that concept and chose to be a happy woman instead.

When I’m alone, I center my dream life.

When I’m with a man, we both do.

1. What do you think a relationship will fix for you, and are you willing to fix that before you attach yourself to someone?

2. Are you attracting from a place of loneliness, fear, and fantasy?

Read more

I used to swoon at the idea of meeting a man, falling in love, and becoming each other’s lifelong best friends.

“Don’t sleep with a man unless he’d die for you,” my dad once told me.

At the time, it felt like such a dramatic statement.

Surely, I thought, there are other ways to know if a man loves me.

But over time, I learned why he gave me that advice.

Men aren’t socialized to be lovers, fathers, or even considerate.

They’re socialized to win—at all costs.

They’re taught to be selfish in pursuit of their goals, to sacrifice others as long as it means they come out on top.

Of course, there are exceptions—men who manage to break away from that conditioning.

But let’s be honest—that’s probably, what, 1% of them?

I no longer feel the need for a “lifelong best friend” in a man.

I have myself, and I have a few very close women confidants.

After witnessing countless men abandon their families, leave their sick wives, or make a move on me while pretending to be committed, I’ve decided:

Read more

Always.

It's misleading to claim that men change out of the blue and begin mistreating their partners.

That narrative plants seeds of fear and helplessness, suggesting there's nothing a woman can do to protect herself or make informed decisions.

After watching “Married a Monster” by Isis, I was reminded why I started my social media brand.

In the video, she shares the heart-wrenching story of discovering her husband had been sexually assaulting her daughters, ages 2 and 4.

I grew up witnessing mistreatment from men toward women, and it never felt right to me—but there are always signs.

Often, we dismiss them because we haven't unpacked patriarchal conditioning within ourselves.

Sometimes the signs are subtle—like a resentful joke at your expense when you share a success.

Other times, they're glaring—like when Isis realized her husband's assaults on her meant he had no regard for consent, hers or anyone else's, including their children's physical safety.

This is why I caution women against blindly taking advice from married women-especially those who haven't deconstructed patriarchal values within themselves.

Another red flag when it comes to content creators is when they brag about how quickly they got together with their husbands.

While Isis seems like a great mom, things could have gone much differently.

She could have chosen not to believe her daughters or kept the situation under wraps to preserve her image.

Many married women won't disclose mistreatment in their marriages because their entire platform depends on portraying an ideal partnership.

On Financial Abuse:

Already, I'm seeing YouTubers discussing the "truth" of dating wealthy men, but this perspective often lacks nuance.

Any man, wealthy or not, can be financially abusive.

Whether he has millions or no money at all, financial abuse can look like sabotaging your streams of income, forcing you to pay half the rent when you can't afford it, or refusing to share his resources while benefiting from yours.

This isn't about dating wealthy men— it's about the broader issue of misogyny and the vitriol directed at women.

P.S. I'm going to upload a video on this to YouTube soon—make sure you follow.

Click here to subscribe.

When we learn to harness both beauty and femininity with intention, we gain the power to shape how others perceive and value us—even if this value is superficial.

It pains me to see people with their croc leather mini Kelly’s butcher the outfit with a poorly fitting dress that looks like it was slipped off of a corpse. If someone were to pair that mini Kelly with a form-fitting knitwear dress while also knowing how to curate their hair and pair a perfume that complimented their natural body odor, my attention would be caught.

The way you present yourself to the world tells people in an instant how much they should value you and what you can do for them. Fashion brands use femininity and race as tools for power, positioning beauty both as a way to gain social upward mobility and as an exclusionary tool for others. From the perspective of a socialite—they might be eating (doing well)—the fact that said person could access an animal leather Hermes bag says that they’re well connected, wealthy, and know how to position themselves. These qualities are impressive for apparent reasons, and anyone with sense would want to be around someone with this persona.

Mass media suggests that fashion is for everyone, but it still upholds exclusivity through beauty standards, social class, and race. The exclusivity of fashion perpetuates inequality because you were never supposed to fit in. Part of the appeal of this exclusivity is that the poor can’t access it. The people who are able to establish whether something is or isn’t luxury have already moved on from a fashion item or brand once everyone can access it. The Halo Effect wasn’t only reserved for pretty people—it also greatly facilitates the lives of the wealthy.

Someone’s beauty, the human preference, can be their downfall if it is not curated to show that they understand the social dynamics of the wealthy and influential. Understanding what works for one’s body is inherently the dilemma many people face regarding fashion—on top of how that might please or displease those in positions of power. This reveals the tension between fashion’s promise of success and its ongoing favor of certain groups.

People tend to buy for two reasons: because they want more of a feeling or they want less of a feeling. The wealthy-socialite type wants more of the feeling of I-am-apart-of-your-class-ism, even if they’d never say that part out loud. Emotional branding establishes itself as a critical factor in developing brand loyalty… Increased loyalty driven by emotional branding, in turn, leads to higher sales.

The minimalist trend feels like it explicitly goes against how I was brought up in my home, full of vibrant colors and loud laughs. Fashion was never designed to make you happy or give you a true sense of belonging. The whole point is exclusion. In a capitalist society, the poor are never centered—just like in a patriarchal society, women are never centered. And in a white supremacist country, people of color are never centered either. This is by design.

Humans are extremely judgmental, especially when they perceive that someone is challenging their understanding of how the world should work. Someone’s mannerisms, the things they’re barely conscious of, will give them away. A wealthy person can spot the difference in an instant—they’ll see that little piece of fabric sticking out of your Shein sweater and know it’s low quality. They’ll clock that the fabric you’re wearing is made of 50% plastic without missing a beat.

The exclusivity of fashion feeds off of our desire to fit in, to be seen, and to feel valuable—but the truth is, real belonging can’t be bought. You can’t buy aligned values. You can’t buy emotional regulation. Sure, you can buy access to a community that might teach you how to self-regulate. You can buy tickets to a networking event. You can “buy” a place to stay, which might allow you to build a grounded, relaxed personhood. But you cannot buy belonging.

P.S. If you’re tired of performing and ready to embrace the power of your authentic self, my feminine communication and group somatic coaching is designed to help you navigate societal pressures, build emotional resilience, and align with the version of you that feels truly grounded and powerful. It’s okay to change the things you don’t mind changing to move through the world with more ease, but it’s just as important to hold on to what truly matters to you. You don’t need to buy into someone else’s idea of value—learn how to embody your own.

Click here to join me, and let’s reclaim your feminine communication and essence together.

Focus on the bag, Pookie.

Being regulated means you can return to relaxation with ease, but the systems we use to build wealth often prey on our mental health.

If you need support in staying grounded, check out the playshop to help you stay regulated—even while you’re securing the bag.

• I'm needing more support than I can find in my immediate surroundings.

• I'm still learning how to nurture healthy relationships with people who prioritize my needs.

• I'm in the process of learning how to say no instead of over giving so I can be more present and have more energy for myself.

• I'm still getting used to trusting others and given how I've had to navigate the world until now-of course this will take me some time.

• I'm in a stage of my life where it has to seem a little worse before it can get much better-I'm committed to letting it get better.

• I'm developing the skill of reaching out to people who genuinely care and support me.

• I'm overwhelmed and I need some rest right now.

Are you ready to feel more supported and cared for?

Let’s work on reclaiming your power together:

Feminine Communication & Seduction for Spoiled Girlies

P.S. I’ve just finished uploading the updates for the Savage Feminine module; the course is now 6 hours long!

I’ll be sending out the September Priority Access survey (that collects pain points and availability) tomorrow at 2 PM EST.

If you haven’t invested yet, NOW IS THE TIME TO DO SO <3

I started this blog to nurture a relationship with my audience and provide free content.

But little Kylie—she always wanted to be a writer.

Writing and reading were her safe spaces.

They were where she went to be free, to nurture herself, and to tend to her curiosities.

At some point, I gave up on being a writer.

This started when I felt that everyone at NYU was significantly “better” at it than I was.

The realization came gradually, like when you first start letting go of all those friends constantly telling jokes at your expense.

Then, I slowly started resenting writing because of all the papers—it became a chore.

Comparison—I understand now—is the thief of joy.

I cried when I saw that I got my first paid subscriber on here.

I love being generous, and one reason for that is that it shows I value the exchange between myself and another person.

I also believe that being good to other women is an auspicious and sacred act.

I know not everyone shares this perspective, and I don’t judge them for it—but I know how good it feels to thank people for what they do for me.

My first paid Substack subscriber’s gesture reminded me that I am still a writer—that people can find pleasure and even a more vibrant life with the support of my written words.

I barely realized that I had returned to something that had brought me so much joy since childhood.

Thank you so much to everyone who allows me to support you through your journey to a more soft life.

If you've already signed up for the feminine communication + group coaching package then expect outreach in the next couple of days to collect your availability.

If you couldn’t make it, don’t worry—I’ve recorded a special version.

This session is packed with the same powerful tools to help you manage stress, overwhelm, and anxiety, tailored specifically for women who are ready to elevate their lives.

Click here to access the Feminine Healing for Elevated Women masterclass.

If you don’t know what that means—its when your life levels up so quickly and dramatically that it is like you changed lives.

The first quantum jump was when I was 15—I attended a program for radical abolitionists who wanted to use their art to inspire change.

The program had a 4% international acceptance rate and was known for being a fast-track opportunity that got its students into Ivy League schools.

Acceptance into that program and the full scholarship to attend was the first time I felt proud of myself and who I was becoming.

I went from being dirt poor at home to this study away program where we had a personal chef and stayed in a gorgeous dorm that looked like it was pulled out of a movie of ancient Greece.

The second quantum leap was when I turned 18 after years of dysfunction from my immediate family—I was suddenly catapulted into the luxurious lifestyle of an NYU student.

And boy, was that a culture shock.

The next quantum jump was a bit later when I went from being a regular college student to suddenly having access to unfathomably large amounts of money.

After that, I studied abroad in Ghana, which felt like another different life.

I was staying in a villa with a personal cleaning lady, food catering, and a chauffeur.

After that—I started dating men for lifestyle instead of love.

And, please don’t let that offend you because I date for money but will be marrying for love (I’m a cancer, come on now, in what world could I be around someone who doesn’t feel safe and romantic).

All of these shifts in my life were anxiety-inducing at first.

I probably had a yeast infection when I was 15 and just didn’t have the awareness to call it that.

When I got to NYU, I was suffering from addiction (which some people say is normal for a college student, but I feel like everything—including the consumption of drugs and alcohol should be done with a base level of awareness for a healthy relationship to self).

In Ghana, I had continuous stomach problems (if you’re signed up for the feminine healing masterclass for elevated women, we’ll go over why your unconscious levels of stress affect a multitude of things in the body).

When I first started dating wealthy men, I was always anxious as to whether I was doing things right (my anxiety and stress levels were always high, but if you had asked me, I would have said no because I was so “accustomed” to it).

I think the healthiest relationship to a quantum leap I’ve ever had is the one I have now, and I attribute that to my understanding of somatic healing.

My practice has six pillars, which all affect your identity and, sequentially, your routines and outcomes; these are also the pillars that I observe with work on my 1-on-1 coaching clients:

• The mind

• The higher self

• Body language

• Feelings

• Sensatory charge

• Coregulation

So, if you feel chronically stressed after receiving something you prayed for, then understand that is a perfectly reasonable reaction given your circumstances.

You are perfectly normal.

Now's time to evaluate where you want to go from here.

Do you want to continue experiencing these states of stress and anxiety, or would you like to try something a bit softer?

I’m suggesting a way of being just as abundant (if not more), just as cool, just as impressive—while simultaneously being connected to the truth hidden in your body.

If you’re someone who wants to have a healthier relationship with your nervous system, you’re breaking generational curses, and you know for a fact that you came here to do more than your little self ever thought was possible, then consider signing up for the masterclass that's coming up:

Masterclass: Feminine Healing for Elevated Women

My approach was centered around understanding the science of your body so I could help my clients have REAL transformations around things that were causing chronic feelings of anxiety, stress, anger, numbness, and/or depressiveness.

On that journey, I realized I genuinely enjoyed learning about this, so making a masterclass about it is genuinely no bother for me, even though it is a bit time-consuming (a lot of my videos on Instagram and YouTube are already dense with educational content).

I also realized that women like me who weren’t born into the type of home environment that they wanted to nurture in their adult lives could benefit from understanding how to regulate their bodies and nervous systems.

I recently posted this, to which someone said, “How do I make it stop, though?”

I responded: I have a free masterclass to help you better understand your nervous system, "Feminine healing for elevated women," you should attend.

“I’m poor; otherwise, I would”

I was on the phone with my best friend when I read that, and I had a brain fart—what does being poor have to do with attending a FREE masterclass?

This is one of the ways we subconsciously self-sabotage because I’m sure she genuinely believed that being poor prevented her from attending (she already has internet if she’s commenting).

It is normal for someone constantly in a state of fight, flight, or freeze not to be able to spot good opportunities.

This is because—in these heightened states of awareness—the way we perceive the world is as if it is inherently more dangerous even if we are in a safe environment.

Research tells us that in these states of survival (fight, flight, and freeze), a person might perceive another’s neutral expression as one with aggression.

Your body is ALWAYS just trying to protect you.

Understanding your nervous system is so that your body doesn’t protect you so hard that it keeps you from ever being happy and at ease.

With that being said, being in a state of openness for growth and being willing to put yourself in a new space is an excellent sign that your life will be improving the way you want it to very soon.

There are people so stuck in their current lives that they can't tell when someone is giving them a tool that will help them simplify it.

Are you ready to stop getting in your own way?

Sign up for the masterclass here.

We are all similar, yet everyone is different.

We produce chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins, but the levels and needs vary from person to person.

Some of us require more or less of these chemicals or need additional supplements because of atypical bodily functions.

While I’m not a doctor, I’ve learned from my creative writing days: know the rules so you can break them.

Sometimes, people don’t need less carbon dioxide in their blood; they need a community supporting them in feeling safe and relaxed.

For example, Huey Newton, a leader of the Black Panther Party, meditated and exercised daily in solitary confinement, but his energetic shift was noticeable once he was released.

He was traumatized by the lack of (healthy) community.

Human presence, a basic human need, no longer felt safe to him, leading to his demise.

As a coach, I am continually investing in myself and the quality of my services.

It would be unreasonable to ask my clients to do something I wouldn’t do myself.

This lifelong commitment to learning helps me deliver the highest quality possible.

Please keep in mind that my life's mission isn't healing, but I welcome it being softness.

Learning is the basis of remaining in a state of play.

And, play feels soft to me.

It makes my inner child feel safe.

But maybe that's the Gemini moon in me wanting to know a bunch of seemingly random things.

The mere fact that you are on this planet is a miracle—your genetic makeup will never be replicated again.

You are a gift.

As a woman, your authentic, feminine radiance is a gift x100.

Here are some mindfulness resources that helped me on my healing journey:

1. The Presence Process by Michael Brown helped me silence the unhelpful stories I told myself about my life.

2. 528 Hertz Healing Frequency comforted my nervous system when overstimulated and inspired me to add sound healing as a tool in my coaching process.

3. Deepening my dark feminine/savage feminine energy helped me more authentically embody my desires and the innate truth my body could access.

I’ve seen profound benefits from breathwork, but I understand that others might need a different approach, so I constantly add new tools to my strategy.

I was also aided with breathwork at distinct instances of my life while needing other tools at other times.

The ability to nurture/repair emotional intimacy with others, explore various somatic (body) healing techniques, or engage in deep self-reflection (through journaling or talking) can all affect emotional and physical well-being.

While we share common biological mechanisms, how we achieve nervous system regulation and fulfillment can be as diverse as our DNA.