Introducing Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one.

These aren’t just feel-good words - they’re deeper coaching for the very real, very common roadblocks that show up while you’re working toward your dreamy goals.

So whether you’re doubting yourself, navigating a hard day, or simply need a boost of courage, you can press play every week and find words that will lift you up when you’re down and push you forward when you feel stuck.

These new coaching pep talks will drop every Thursday inside the Vault.

This is in addition to everything else you already get inside Your Richer Life Vault:

❅ The full paid archive - every premium guide, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault

❅ Don’t Die Unhappy - twice-monthly lessons and bonus implementation PDF guides to help you make the most of your one precious life

❅ Get Out of Your Own Way - twice-monthly lessons and bonus implementation PDF guides to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage

❅ LIGHTER: The Next Chapter - a monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen.

And now with weekly coaching drops to help you think better and live a richer, lighter life while pursuing dreamy goals all year round. 🙌🏻

THIS WEEK’S COACHING PEP TALK:

When A Plan Flops Despite Your Best Efforts

Your Richer Life Pep Talks are available exclusively to Your Richer Life paid subscribers.

If you’re already a member - you can listen below.

If you’re not yet a subscriber, this is your invitation.

Your Richer Life is your premium space to help you think better, chase real goals, and actually savour your one precious life

For just $15 a month, you get access to this coaching pep talk, plus everything else inside the Your Richer Life Vault.

Join Your Richer Life here →

Read more

How To Finally Follow Through On Your Goals In 6 Simple Steps 🫶🏻

You know that thing you keep saying you’re going to do… but somehow it keeps getting pushed to tomorrow, next week, or “when things calm down”?

This masterclass will help you close the gap between wanting to do something and actually following through on it.

You’ll discover my simple six-part Follow-Through Formula to help you work towards your goals in a clear, strategic way.

FYI: This is definitely not about encouraging you to become a productivity machine or executing everything perfectly (impossible to do, as there's no such thing as perfection!).

It’s instead about choosing something that genuinely matters to you, making room for it in your real life, and learning how to keep moving forward - even when the inevitable mind drama pops up.

The six steps are super simple, and you can apply them again and again to help you follow through on all the goals that matter most to you.

Much love,
Frances xxx

CLICK HERE TO WATCH👇🏻

Want More Support? 🫶🏻

INSPIRING LIFE ACADEMY → Get lifetime access to my complete vault of 90+ courses and coaching roadmaps to achieve your goals, without sacrificing your soul, sanity or family life.

SEE IT HERE

YOUR RICHER LIFE → Join me for ongoing coaching, ideas and inspiration to help you think better and live a richer, lighter life while pursuing the goals that matter to you.

SEE IT HERE

I SAID I WOULD DO IT! → Get four weeks of personal accountability coaching with me to help you stop putting off that important goal and actually follow through.

SEE IT HERE

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

Unlock the entire Your Richer Life Vault today

Introducing Lighter: Business Essentials Guide

The goal of every guide in the Lighter series is simple: to help your life feel simpler and lighter, while still being effective, clear and focused. Not less ambitious. Just less heavy.

This one has a personal element to it.

I’ve successfully run a business since 2018 - but I’ve always had to do it in a way that was lighter and more effective, out of necessity rather than preference.

A forty-hour work week was never available to me. Caring for my son meant I had to learn how to build something that worked in twenty hours or less, without compromising on quality.

So “lighter” isn’t a philosophy I picked up along the way - it’s the only way this business was ever going to survive.

Inside this guide, you’ll learn:

• The difference between the heavy way and the lighter way of running a business - and which one you’ve been unconsciously living in

• Why the pressure to do all the things (and succeed sooner) is a habit, not a requirement

• How to build your business around your actual values and your actual life, instead of the other way around

• How to decide - in advance - what “enough” looks like, so you can stop chasing a finish line that keeps moving

• How to build a real off switch, so you can close your laptop and mean it

• A checklist to help you see exactly where your business still feels heavy, and where to lighten it next

This is about remembering something simple: a lighter business isn’t separate from a richer life - it’s part of what makes one possible.

The Lighter: Business Essentials Guide is available exclusively to Your Richer Life paid subscribers.

If you’re already a member - you can download the guide below.

If you’re not yet a subscriber, this is your invitation.

Your Richer Life is your premium space to slow down, stretch toward richer goals, and actually live a richer life - not just imagine it.

For just $15 a month, you get access to this guide, plus everything else inside the Your Richer Life Vault:

Weekly implementation guides, bonus courses, coaching audios, exclusive resources, and three ongoing series designed to help you wake up, do what matters, and savour every bit of it.

Join Your Richer Life here →

Read more

Frances here! I’m a life coach, author and course creator living in Sydney, Australia. At Your Richer Life, I share mindset shifts and strategies to help you think better and live a richer, lighter life while pursuing dreamy goals.

And this month, I finally added a Founding Member tier, which includes 12 months of access to Inspiring Life Academy, with 100+ coaching programs + roadmaps valued at $7,000+. When you’re ready, come join me HERE.

A new month is a chance to stretch yourself.

There’s something exciting about stepping into a new month and wondering:

What could I do differently this time around?

Yesterday I shared my 30 Days of Fun Challenge, designed to help us intentionally bring a little more fun and lightness into our everyday lives.

Today, I have a different kind of challenge for you.

This one is all about stepping outside your comfort zone.

Because as lovely as it is to feel comfortable, I also know full well that some of the best things in my life have happened because I was willing to step outside my comfort zone.

We already know what to expect inside our comfort zones.

It’s where we keep doing what we’ve always done.

Going where we’ve always gone.

Talking to the same people. Eating the same foods.

Choosing what we already know.

But over time, this can start to feel really stale.

And a richer life is definitely not about living a life that makes you feel small or comfortable all the time.

Sometimes it means deliberately choosing a little discomfort because you know it’s helping you grow and evolve in life.

But this can feel tricky if you haven’t practised this muscle in a while.

Which is why this challenge is all about starting small and taking baby steps.

Until you eventually discover by the end of the month:

Hey, I can indeed do the uncomfortable things.

So this month, let’s stretch our comfort zones.

I’ve created a free 30 Day Step Outside Your Comfort Zone Challenge Card to help you do exactly that.

There are 45 challenges on the card. Your job is to choose any 30 that appeal to you - or perhaps more importantly, make you feel slightly uncomfortable - and complete them throughout the month.

These are just small opportunities to practise doing things that feel different, awkward, vulnerable, spontaneous or new.

The simple goal is this:

Each day, ask yourself:

What could I do today that stretches me just a little?

Because the more willing you become to experience a little discomfort...

the wider and more expansive your life will start to feel.

DOWNLOAD HERE 👇🏻

Challenge Comfort Zone

2.87MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

With love,

Frances xxx

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

WELCOME TO DON’T DIE UNHAPPY

The Don’t Die Unhappy series is part of the Your Richer Life Vault, available exclusively to paid subscribers.

Twice a month you’ll receive a new lesson and a practical Implementation Guide to help you apply what you’re learning.

Together we’ll work on letting go of the habits, beliefs and patterns making you feel miserable, so you can finally start savouring your one precious life.

To unlock full access to every bonus course, premium guide and resource inside the Your Richer Life Vault, upgrade your subscription below.

MISERY-INDUCING ACTIVITY #7

Pretending To Be Someone You’re Not

Have you ever worn a tight, ill-fitting outfit out in public?

The entire day you feel weirdly uncomfortable and know you don’t look your best. You tug at the hem and wish it was longer or looser.

All day you dream about the moment you get home and can strip this outfit off and slip into your pjs or something more comfortable.

However bad this feels, it feels even worse to walk around in this world pretending to be someone you’re not.

For me with age, I’ve gotten really good at owning my personality, both the good bits and my flaws.

Are you surprised to hear me admit that I have flaws?

Don’t be. We all have them.

I myself know I’m an introvert, who often appears to be an extravert because I’m very friendly and find it easy to talk to people.

Secretly (or not so secretly anymore) I love being at home where I can personally recharge my batteries by resting and enjoying my own company.

Too much talking and socializing makes me feel drained. I’m also stubborn yet open-minded.

Even though I can admit my failings, I oftentimes secretly think my way is still right.

I’m both brave and scared, weak and strong, open and closed and deep yet shallow.

Read more

Frances here! I’m a life coach, author and course creator living in Sydney, Australia. At Your Richer Life, I share mindset shifts and strategies to help you think better and live a richer, lighter life while pursuing dreamy goals.

And this month, I finally added a Founding Member tier, which includes 12 months of access to Inspiring Life Academy, with 100+ coaching programs + roadmaps valued at $7,000+. When you’re ready, come join me HERE.

A new month is just around the corner.

I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love the blank slate that comes with a new month.

It feels fresh and exciting and I love dreaming up all the ways I will continue to work towards my goals.

And while I’m all for making plans and thinking about what I want to accomplish in the weeks ahead, here’s something else I think deserves a place in our lives:

More fun!

Fun definitely has a way of making life feel lighter, even when life itself isn’t necessarily easy.

Because of course, obstacles, challenges and hurdles will always exist.

There will always be work to do, problems to solve, people to care for and things that don’t go according to plan.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t also infuse our days with MORE FUN along the way.

In fact, even the harder and more mundane parts of life can become a little more enjoyable when we’re intentional about bringing some fun into them.

So this month, let’s exercise our fun muscle.

I’ve created a free 30 Days of Fun Challenge Card to help you intentionally ease a little more fun, playfulness and lightness into your everyday life.

There are 45 simple challenges on the card. Your challenge is to choose any 30 that appeal to you and complete them throughout the month.

The simple goal is this:

Each day, ask yourself:

How can I make today a little more fun?

Because a richer life isn’t just about what you accomplish.

It’s also about enjoying yourself while you’re living it.

DOWNLOAD HERE 👇🏻

Challenge Fun

2.66MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

With love,

Frances xxx

Ready to go deeper?

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

I’m sure we all have people we don’t love.

Those who are small-minded, racist, sexist, cruel, cocky, critical, or think and behave in ways we don’t approve of deep down.

Humans naturally do this - judge other people, often without even realising we’re doing it.

We assess people, form opinions and make assumptions.

We make snap decisions about whether we like someone, trust someone, agree with someone, or want to spend more time with someone.

In many ways, judgment itself isn’t inherently negative.

You can actually make a positive judgment about someone:

“Oh, she’s kind or funny.”

“Yes, she’s intelligent or generous.”

All you’re doing in those instances is simply forming an opinion or conclusion based on what you’ve observed or experienced.

So the problem isn’t that humans make judgments.

The more interesting question is:

What do we do with those judgments?

Because things get interesting when we start judging others NEGATIVELY for their judgments.

The judgment loop

Imagine you have a friend who holds a political opinion you strongly disagree with.

They think their position is reasonable.

You think their position is completely wrong.

And suddenly you’re angry that they have the audacity to think differently from you.

“Why in the world do they believe XYZ when it is so obviously wrong?!”

Same goes if someone holds certain beliefs about a particular race, gender or group of people that you find offensive.

You judge them negatively for having those beliefs.

And hey, maybe they then judge you for judging them.

So now we’re both standing on opposite sides of the fence, each convinced that we’re the reasonable one.

Here’s the weird thing I want to point out to you:

We can become so horrified by another person’s judgment that we don’t notice we’ve entered into judgment ourselves.

They make judgements about others.

Then in turn we judge them for judging others.

So by default, we end up falling prey to the same thing we accused them of - being super judgey.

And around and around we go - until we all become stuck in this weird judgment loop that doesn’t usually bring anyone closer to understanding each other.

FYI: Understanding where people come from doesn’t mean agreeing with them

When someone holds a different opinion from you, rather than instantly wanting to convince them why they are wrong…

Another option you have is to GET CURIOUS.

Why do they hold that racist, sexist or some other belief that I strongly disagree with?

Understanding where that belief comes from does not require you to agree with it.

But aren’t you curious what led them to come to that conclusion?

What experiences have they gone through that led them down this road?

What makes a person want to think and behave in the ways that they do?

It’s entirely possible to have compassion for others while still saying:

“I don’t believe that behaviour is acceptable.”

Because compassion and empathy isn’t about approving, condoning or endorsing their behaviour.

It simply requires us to accept that someone has the right to think differently and understand that they have their personal reasons for thinking what they’ve chosen is best FOR THEM.

Because here’s the thing: there is a story behind every person in this world

We can’t even begin to fathom what lived experiences others have had in this world. Because we haven’t walked in their shoes.

They of course have different memories and different circumstances from us and as such how they see the world will be different from ours.

You see, their history has shaped the lens through which they’re looking at the world. And yours has shaped yours.

This doesn’t mean we have to suddenly love how other people show up in this world

We don’t ever have to pretend that their opinions or behaviour are acceptable to us.

We can still voice our own thoughts and speak our truth.

But understand that everyone in this world was born with free will and has the choice to believe whatever they want to believe.

Once you understand this, you can come from a place of curiosity and say:

“I understand why you might think that way, and I still strongly disagree with you.”

You can also decide that someone isn’t a good person for you to be around without deciding that they are stupid or crazy.

You can decide you don’t trust someone without needing to hate them.

You can disagree with their opinions without deciding they’re an idiot.

You can reject someone’s behaviour without believing you are morally superior to them.

You can walk away without making them the villain.

You’re simply deciding what works for you and what doesn’t.

When we ourselves are being “judgey” we think:

“You are wrong, and I am better than you.”

When we are curious, we think:

“I get why you might believe that, even if I don’t love it and I choose differently.”

FYI: I’ve definitely caught myself being judgey in the past

I’ve felt disappointed or frustrated by people whose behaviour I thought was racist, disrespectful or unkind.

And initially, I thought:

“Of course I’m right to feel this way. They’re the ones judging people.”

But then I caught the irony or hyprocrisy of that statement.

Wait, now I was judging them for being judgmental.

Underneath my frustration was a belief that my way of seeing the world was the correct way.

But then I came back to that curiosity question:

• What has led this person to think this way?

• What experiences have shaped them?

• What do they believe is true?

• Why does this make sense to them?

• What am I missing?

This curiosity didn’t force me to abandon my own values or think they were suddenly right.

It simply allowed me to hold my values without turning another person into an enemy.

You see, curiosity is a powerful alternative to judgment

Instead of:

“What’s wrong with them?”

Try:

“I wonder why they think this way.”

Instead of:

“How could anyone possibly behave like that?”

Try:

“What happened in their life that might have contributed to this?”

Instead of:

“They’re so ignorant.”

Try:

“What information are they working from?”

Instead of:

“Why would she make that choice?”

Try:

“What might I not understand about her circumstances?”

You don’t have to agree with the answer.

You’re simply moving from condemning the person to being curious about them instead and that curiosity opens doors that judgment tends to slam shut.

What about when someone judges you?

Guess what? Someone is allowed to think whatever they think about you.

They might be right or wrong.

They might have misunderstood you or have incomplete information.

They might be projecting their own experiences onto you.

Or they might simply have a completely different set of values.

You don’t have to figure out which one it is before you can be okay.

THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BE WRONG.

You can listen to their thoughts if you want to - consider it, learn from it or reject it.

But when it comes down to it, someone else’s judgment is just their own thoughts.

And people in this world have the freedom to think whatever they want to think, whether you agree with it or not.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to make their opinions responsible for how you feel about yourself.

Besides sometimes the criticism is useful

Rather than automatically thinking:

“They’re judging me, therefore they’re wrong.”

Try:

“Is there anything here I can learn?”

Take what’s useful. Leave behind what isn’t.

That’s being emotional mature.

Keep in mind: compassion is not pity

Pity can sometimes position us above another person:

“Poor them, they really don’t get it!”

“I feel sorry for them.”

“They don’t know any better.”

Compassion feels different.

Compassion says:

“I can see that you’re a human being having a human experience, just as I am.”

It doesn’t require you to feel superior or to rescue someone.

It also doesn’t require you to agree with them.

Sometimes compassion simply looks like curiosity.

“What can I understand here?”

“What might this person be experiencing?”

And that’s a very different way of moving through the world.

In a nutshell:

Some people will misunderstand you or not like you.

Some people will disagree with your choices, think you’re strange or that you’re making terrible decisions.

Some people will judge you.

And you can let them.

You don’t need to convince every person that you’re a good person.

You don’t need everyone to understand your motives or agree with your choices.

You don’t need universal approval before you can trust yourself.

You can simply think:

“I know why I’m making this choice. I’m comfortable with my reasons. And you are allowed to see it differently.”

Just let people be wrong about you

We often become obsessed with correcting people’s perceptions of us.

We want them to know our side or admit they were wrong.

We want the final word.

But sometimes peace comes from deciding:

They are allowed to have the wrong opinion about me.

You don’t have to defend every decision or turn someone else’s different opinions into a personal battle.

Their opinion belongs to them.

Your life belongs to you.

And don’t judge yourself for judging

Coming back to my intial premise - where I pointed out the irony of us being judgemental about judgemental people.

Don’t beat yourself up for doing this.

You’re human and your brain like to make assessments.

So notice your judgement, get curious and choose what you want to do next.

You don’t have to become a perfectly non-judgmental person.

The goal is simply to become more conscious of the judgments you make and more intentional about what you do next.

You can notice:

“I’m having a really strong reaction to this person and their opinions.”

And then ask:

“What exactly am I making this mean?”

“What do I actually know?”

“What am I assuming?”

“Can I disagree without hating them?”

“Do I need a boundary here, or do I simply need to let this go?”

“Is there anything I can learn?”

These questions will help you interrupt the cycle of judgement.

In the end - you don’t have to like everyone

You don’t have to agree with everyone or approve of everyone’s behaviour.

You don’t even have to spend time with everyone.

But you can still choose not to carry around unnecessary hatred, superiority or resentment towards others.

You can say:

“I don’t agree.”

“I don’t like this.”

“This isn’t for me.”

“I don’t want this person in my life.”

“I think this behaviour is harmful.”

And then move on, without turning every disagreement into a war over who is right.

The ultimate goal isn’t to stop judging

It’s to stop having these negative judgments control you and ruin your day.

Remind yourself that judgment is part of being human.

We ALL make assumptions, form opinions, decide what we like and don’t like.

We’ll sometimes think we’re right and other people will do exactly the same thing.

The freedom comes from recognising that you can still stay curious.

You can listen while maintaining your values.

You can have boundaries, disagree and walk away.

You can love people without approving of everything they do.

And you can let people think differently from you without making this difference a threat to you.

I love the sentiment behind the quote often attributed to Mother Teresa:

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

When we’re busy hating on someone, we’re no longer really seeing them.

We’re seeing our story about them.

Once again, the goal is not to become someone who never judges.

But someone who notices the judgment, gets curious about it, and chooses what happens next.

Because you can disagree without hating a person.

You can understand without approving.

And you can let someone think you’re wrong without needing to prove that you’re right.

Let people have their own opinions. Let yourself have yours.

You don’t have to make everyone see the world through your eyes.

You just have to live your life with enough self-trust that you don’t need everyone else to agree with you.

So the next time you find yourself thinking,

“I can’t believe they think that.”

Pause and ask:

“What would happen if, instead of judging them for being different from me, I simply became curious about why they are the way they are?”

You may just discover that understanding someone better doesn’t require you to become anything like them.

And that’s where the judgment loop ends.

With love,

Frances xxx

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

Inside you will receive instant access to:

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

Welcome to LIGHTER: The Experiment

This is a behind-the-scenes look at the changes I’m making in my own life to help it feel lighter, calmer, richer, and more intentional.

In this series, I’ll be sharing what I’m working on in real time - the things that are weighing me down, and what I’m doing to lighten the load. I’ll be working through the different areas of my life one at a time: sleep, health, mindset, relationships, goals, and the way I spend my time.

I’m especially curious to see what happens when I stop settling for things that aren’t working, and start taking small steps toward a life that feels better instead.

You’re welcome to follow along and watch me figure it out. 🙌🏻

Back in June, I started the Lighter Experiment because I was actively looking for ways to make my life feel lighter in a world that can often feel heavy.

But oh my gosh, the changes I’ve experienced over the past three months have been truly transformational.

Part of this has come from making one surprisingly simple shift:

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Why Casual Wanting Never Gets You Anywhere

When it comes to our goals, there’s a difference between wanting something and actually hungering for it.

And depending on which feeling fuels you, it changes what you’re willing to do for that goal.

You see, you can want lots of things in life without ever getting close to having it.

You can say:

“I’d love to write a book.”

“I really want to get fit.”

“I’d love to build a business.”

“I want to travel more.”

“I wish I had more money.”

“I’d love to have more time.”

“I really should get around to doing that.”

And you might mean every word.

But alas, there’s a massive difference between:

Saying the words I WANT SOMETHING versus

Actually wanting it enough to take action consistently towards it.

Whenever I think of this difference, I’m reminded of Beverly Goldberg from one of my favorite TV shows The Goldbergs.

Beverly was famous for reminding her kids:

SHE COULD HAVE BEEN A LAWYER.

Did you know? She COULD HAVE been a lawyer.

It’s that lovely could have, should have, would have game we sometimes play.

Fun fact: I could have been a lawyer too.

I played with the idea of studying law after graduating with my degree in psychology and even went to speak to a professor about this.

I could’ve done lots of different things when I was younger.

Travelled more, experimented more, laughed more etc.

But what good is intention is if it isn’t backed by action?

It’s like hearing someone say “I planned to donate $10,000 to a charity.” Or “I planned to run a marathon.”

But did you? Well, nope. Sooooo, what good was that intention you had?

The reality is that the list of all the things we COULD DO is long for everyone.

But the difference between those who achieve it and those who don’t all comes down to their hunger level for that goal.

If you have just casual wanting for a goal, this is the easiest way to stay stuck while still feeling like you’re trying.

Because you can think about a goal. Talk about a goal. Research a goal. Plan a goal. Buy things related to the goal. Consume endless content about the goal.

And still not actually do the goal.

At some point, something has to shift if you truly do want that goal.

And that shift happens when your desire becomes strong enough that you’re willing to repeatedly do whatever the goal requires of you.

That’s where hunger comes in.

Casual wanting says, “It would be nice.”

Real hunger says, “I’m willing to work hard for this goal.”

Followed by “and this is my gameplan.”

For example: .

“I am going to write this book, so I’m writing 500 words today.”

“I want to get stronger, so I’m going for my 30 minute walk even though I don’t feel like it.”

“I want to build this business, so I’m going to spend an hour figuring out the next step.”

“I want to travel, so I’m putting money aside ($150) every week into my savings account.”

When you hunger for a goal, you connect your desire with an action.

Action needs to be part of your strategy because intention alone doesn’t guarantee action.

People can genuinely intend to do something and still fail to follow through. This is why you need to have a specific plans for when, where and how you’ll act on the goal you want.

In other words:

Wanting matters. But wanting has to become doing.

So what does casual wanting actually look like?

The weird thing about casual wanting is that is often looks very productive.

You might spend hours researching how to start the business.

But never actually make the offer.

You might buy a new laptop for the book you’re going to write.

But never write the first chapter.

You might save hundreds of exercise videos.

But never exercise.

You might make cool travel plans.

But never open a savings account.

You might tell everyone about the project you’re going to start.

But never sit down and begin.

Basically casual wanting looks like:

ALL TALK AND NO ACTION.

And why do we do that - NOT TAKE ACTION - even when we really, really want a goal?

Well because taking action is uncomfortable.

Humans are hardwired to avoid pain, seek out pleasure and conserve energy (all these boxes get ticked when you are sitting in front of the TV, eating crisps and chocolate) .

In order to take action, you need to be willing to risk the discomfort that comes with stepping outside your comfort zone.

Because your mind will most likely scream at you to STOP whenever you’re trying to step outside your comfort zone.

It doesn’t want you to face your fears, feel uncomfortable or risk your safety by doing something new where the outcome is unpredictable.

So you procrastinate, hesitate and stay stuck in the realm of casual wanting because it protects you from that discomfort.

You get to keep the dream without having to test yourself against reality.

Hungering for a goal requires that you get comfortable with the discomfort.

I always say this is the best skill you can nurture in yourself because the discomfort is real whenever you’re stretching and growing in life.

Pair this with commitment and you are already ahead in the game.

Because to get to any goal, you need to be willing to work for it..

• Even when the novelty has worn off.

• Or your first attempt doesn’t work.

• Or you’re learning something you don’t understand.

• Or you’ve written a bad first draft.

• Or you’d rather stay home than go for a walk.

• Or you want spend money aside versus putting it away in savings.

  ---

FYI: We all need to let go of this idea that we need to FEEL like doing something before we take action.

Please don’t depend on motivation for your goals because it won’t take you very far.

Motivation is the most fickle and fleeting of all positive emotions.

And doesn’t even come close to comparing to the feelings of:

Strength, determination, courage and commitment.

You need to be willing to take that action because you want the goal more than you want the alternative (giving up on the goal).

And let’s face it, if your goal only gets whatever scraps of time, energy and attention happen to be left over, it isn’t really a priority.

It’s just a nice-to-have.

Hunger however is not composed of “desperate energy.”

In fact, desperate energy is the quickest way to REPEL your goals.

You instead hunger for your goals in a way that excites you and makes you feel hopeful for the future.

It doesn’t involve you sacrificing your health, relationships or family for the goal.

Nor does it leave you thinking that your life is worthless and you will never be happy until you achieve XYZ.

That’s not healthy determination.

Healthy hunger sounds more like:

“This matters to me. And I’m willing to pursue it. But I will be okay no matter what outcome I achieve because at least I tried.”

Even still the hunger is there.

When you genuinely care about something, it tends to occupy some space in your mind.

You notice opportunities and think about the next step.

You brainstorm ideas and become more resourceful.

You start asking:

“How could I make this work?”

“What would I need to change?”

“Who could help me?”

“What could I do with what I already have?”

“What’s the smallest version I could start with?”

That’s one of the biggest differences between casual desire and genuine commitment.

Casual desire tends to wait for circumstances to become convenient.

Hunger instead puts on its detective hat and intentionally looks for ways to move forward.

Hunger also doesn’t entertain excuses

Or more specifically, your desire for your goal needs to become stronger than your excuses.

You stop thinking:

“Here’s all the reasons why I can’t do this.”

And start thinking:

“How can I make this happen because I can’t keep putting this off?”

You also need to know YOUR WHY.

Knowing your “why” matters because surprise, surprise: there will be times when you’re tired, discouraged, distracted or tempted to give up.

Your why will keep you going when times are tough.

But you need to know your why FULLY IN YOUR BONES:

Why this goal matters to you and what you’re really hoping to create, experience or change in your life.

Then when your motivation dips (which it 100% will), your why will remind you that the next right action is worth taking, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.

Of course, a clear why won’t make your journey to the goal smooth or easy, but it will make the hard parts easier to keep moving through.

But sometimes we don’t REALLY, REALLY WANT THE GOAL.

When we are halfhearted with our attempts, sometimes the truth is pretty simple.

You didn’t actually want the goal that much.

Maybe you liked the idea of the outcome but didn’t want to work for it.

Maybe you thought you should want it.

Maybe someone else wanted it for you.

Or you wanted it once, but you don’t want it anymore.

And that is all important information to consider.

You are allowed to say:

“I thought I wanted this.”

“I thought this was important to me.”

“I liked the idea of it.”

“But yeah nah, I don’t really want it enough to organise my life around it.”

Because if you don’t really want a goal, you can gently release the pressure to pursue it in your life. And you’ve just freed up energy for something you genuinely do want.

The goal is to become someone who knows what is worth continuing to pursue.

Here’s the real test.

If you’re tired and still thinking about your goal.

Busy and still thinking about your goal.

Or nobody cares whether you take action or not AND YOU’RE STILL THINKNG ABOUT THE GOAL.

I’m going to guess that a seed of hunger lives inside you for that goal.

And if that seed exists I encourage you to water it daily.

Nourish it, love it, give it your time and attention.

And make room for that goal in your life, even if it still feels far away.

You don’t have to be relentless every day

But you do need to pay attention to your goal.

Because just like a newborn baby would die if it gets neglected day after day, the same is true for your goals

“Hungering for your goal” however doesn’t mean you have to perform at maximum capacity every single day.

But you still do need to keep the goal alive in some way.

So what do you truly hunger for?

Not:

• What should I want?

• What would make other people proud?

• What does everyone else seem to be chasing?

• What would prove something about me?

  ---

Instead:

What do I truly hunger for in this life?

• More time or freedom?

• More adventure or travel?

• More financial security?

• More love or connection?

• More good health or a fitter body?

• More simplicity or rest?

• More courage or experiences?

There is no correct answer here.

I’m going to guess you already have an inkling for what you hunger for in your life.

And once you know what this is, the next question becomes much easier:

What am I willing to do to feed it?

That’s when your dream becomes a solid goal.

And this goal in turn creates a plan that leads to actions that, when repeated often enough, create results.

Because you don’t achieve a goal simply by wanting it badly enough.

You achieve it by being willing to do the things that move you towards it -consistently, imperfectly and for long enough to give those actions a chance to work.

In a nutshell: if something genuinely matters to you, eventually your behaviour will begin to reflect that.

• You’ll make room.

• You’ll make decisions.

• You’ll tolerate discomfort.

• You’ll solve problems.

• You’ll try again.

• You’ll simplify.

• You’ll adjust.

• You’ll keep returning.

This is what hunger looks like in real life.

It isn’t desperate, frantic energy.

Instead it’s clear, focused and the pull is strong enough to keep pulling you back toward something that matters.

So if there’s a goal you’ve been saying you want for months or years, ask something honest:

“Do I truly want this, or do I just like the idea of having it?”

If the answer is no, cool! Take the pressure of your shoulders to achieve that goal.

And if the answer is yes - I really do want this - then stop casually wanting it.

Start feeding it instead with your attention. Give it a place on the calendar. Give it a first step. Give it a plan. Give it enough time to become real.

Ask yourself:

WHAT AM I WILLING TO DO TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN??

Because casual wanting creates daydreams.

And a real hunger for a goal creates the willingness to do what it takes to make it happen.

With love,

Frances xxx

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

Inside you will receive instant access to:

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

Introducing Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one.

These aren’t just feel-good words - they’re deeper coaching for the very real, very common roadblocks that show up while you’re working toward your dreamy goals.

So whether you’re doubting yourself, navigating a hard day, or simply need a boost of courage, you can press play every week and find words that will lift you up when you’re down and push you forward when you feel stuck.

These new coaching pep talks will drop every Thursday inside the Vault.

This is in addition to everything else you already get inside Your Richer Life Vault:

❅ The full paid archive - every premium guide, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault

❅ Don’t Die Unhappy - twice-monthly lessons and bonus implementation PDF guides to help you make the most of your one precious life

❅ Get Out of Your Own Way - twice-monthly lessons and bonus implementation PDF guides to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage

❅ LIGHTER: The Next Chapter - a monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen.

And now with weekly coaching drops to help you think better and live a richer, lighter life while pursuing dreamy goals all year round. 🙌🏻

THIS WEEK’S COACHING PEP TALK:

When You Can’t Make Yourself Start

Your Richer Life Pep Talks are available exclusively to Your Richer Life paid subscribers.

If you’re already a member - you can listen below.

If you’re not yet a subscriber, this is your invitation.

Your Richer Life is your premium space to help you think better, chase real goals, and actually savour your one precious life

For just $15 a month, you get access to this coaching pep talk, plus everything else inside the Your Richer Life Vault.

Join Your Richer Life here →

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I just recorded my second ever LIVE, and this time I’m talking about why strategy alone isn’t enough.

Because you can have the perfect plan, know exactly what you need to do, and still struggle to take action.

That’s because knowing WHAT to do is only part of the equation.

Your mindset plays a huge role in whether you actually follow through, especially when fear, doubt and overthinking inevitably show up.

In this LIVE, I talk about the mindset component of pursuing your goals - and why sometimes the problem isn’t that you need a better strategy.

You might simply need to learn how to work with your mind while you take the next step.

Thanks again to everyone who joined me.

Needless to say, after recording hundreds of private coaching videos, I’m so proud of myself for doing my second live here.

Much love,

Frances xx

P.S. See Inspiring Life Academy Here

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

Pursuing dreamy goals while still being fully present for your family is a skill.

It’s a skill because in order to achieve that goal, you will need to pay a price or exchange something in order to achieve it.

And as a mom, it’s usually our precious time, attention, energy and money. And sometimes our dreamy goals also take us away from the people we love.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue big goals.

It simply means that we need to stop pretending that we can pursue a huge goal without making any trade-offs whatsoever.

Because that’s impossible.

If you want to write a book, build a business, change careers, train for something, go back to study or create something you’ve dreamed about for years, something else will probably have to move in order to make room for it.

There will 100% be a pricetag attached to any goal we wish to pursue.

So the bigger question is this:

What are you willing to pay and what are you absolutely not willing to sacrifice in order to get to that goal?

I truly believe that it’s possible to be present for your family, without abandoning your dreams.

But it does first require a little tweaking about how we approach them.

First things first:

You need to get honest about what this goal actually requires

One of the biggest mistakes people make with dreamy goals is underestimating what they will require.

We forget that a big goal really does require a significant investment of time and attention.

So instead of pretending otherwise, get brutally honest.

• What will working towards this goal actually require from you?

• How many hours a week?

• How much money?

• How much mental space?

• What will you need to learn?

• What support will you need?

• What will probably have to come off your plate?

None of these questions are meant to scare you away from pursuing your goal.

To the contrary, this is about making an adult decision about whether you’re willing to pursue it.

Because there’s nothing empowering about pursuing a dreamy goal and then discovering six months later that you’re exhausted, resentful and never fully present anywhere.

If you want a big goal then it deserves an honest plan.

Decide what you’re not willing to sacrifice

Before you decide what you’re going to give your goal, decide what you’re going to protect.

• Maybe it’s meal times with your family

• Maybe it’s Saturday mornings or your child’s sporting events.

• Maybe it’s your relationship with your partner or your health.

• Maybe it’s one evening a week when you are completely off.

  ---

Whatever it is, identify it ahead of time.

When you’re excited about a goal, it’s very easy to think you need to do more, more, more to achieve it.

But then one more hour or late night morphs into two and suddenly the goal that was supposed to make your life richer has quietly swallowed your life.

Boundaries are thankfully what help stop that happening. Because while your goal gets to have a place in your life, it doesn’t get to consume your entire life.

Stop trying to grow everything at once

We need to stop thinking we can be superwomen.

You cannot simultaneously have an explosive business-growth season, renovate your house, train for a marathon, become an amazing cook, maintain a spotless home, read 50 books, be the most present mother imaginable and have a thriving social life.

Well, technically you can try but something is going to give.

Instead, start to think of your goals in terms of seasons.

Perhaps this is your business-growth season. That doesn’t mean your family disappears. It means your business gets more attention for a period of time.

Perhaps next year is a quieter year professionally because your family and health needs more from you. That’s okay too.

Sometimes one thing gets to be the main project while everything else gets to go into maintainance mode. That’s what a clear focus on a specific goal looks like.

Tell your family what you’re doing

Don’t quietly disappear into your dream.

Talk about it. Depending on the age of your children, explain what you’re working toward and why it matters to you.

People generally cope much better with change when they understand what’s happening behind the scenes

And your family may surprise you. They may become your biggest cheerleaders. They may help and even enjoy seeing you pursue something you care deeply about.

There is something so immensely powerful about children seeing a mother who loves her family deeply and also has dreams of her own.

You are showing them that caring for other people and caring about yourself is actually possible - and here’s how it’s done.

Get support before you desperately need it

If your dreamy goal matters, don’t build your entire plan around doing everything yourself.

This is where many women get stuck - they try to pursue the goal during whatever scraps of time remain after they’ve completed every household responsibility.

Look at what can be delegated.

• What can your partner take over?

• What can older children do?

• What could you outsource?

• What doesn’t actually need to be done?

• Could you buy groceries online?

• Get a cleaner occasionally?

• Swap childcare with a friend?

• Simplify meals?

• Lower your standards in one area?

You don’t need to outsource everything. You just need to stop assuming that you personally have to do everything. Sometimes the fastest way toward a goal isn’t becoming more efficient.

It’s removing things from your plate.

Create protected time for the goal

There’s a big difference between “I’ll work on it when I get a chance” and having protected time for your dreamy goals.

The exact schedule doesn’t matter as much as the principle:

Your goal needs somewhere to live in your calendar.

And when that time arrives, you work on the goal rather than spending half of it deciding what to do.

Know your next actions, keep a running to-do list and make it easy for you to begin. The less drama you create around your goal, the more likely you are to keep moving.

But don’t turn every spare moment into goal time

People seem to think:

• If you have a spare 20 minutes, you should be working on your goal.

• If you’re waiting in the car, you should be working on your goal.

• If you’re having your coffee, you should be listening to a podcast about your goal.

• If you’re walking or lying in bed, you should be brainstorming your goal.

At some point, you have to stop and take a break. Your brain can’t function properly without some white space.

Your family needs your attention too and you need to be able to enjoy your own everyday life.

So not every spare minute needs to become an opportunity for self-improvement.

Sometimes you should just sit in the sunshine and DO NOTHING.

• Watch the movie.

• Read the book.

• Have the coffee with your friend.

• Go to your kid’s game and actually watch it instead of mentally working through your business strategy.

Remember why you’re pursuing the goal in the first place.

You’re trying to build a life you love. Don’t become so obsessed with building the future that you stop living the present.

Have a minimum version for chaotic weeks

This is especially important if you have children.

You need to have a plan for when life goes sideways.

Because it will - obstacles, challenges and hurdles in life are 100% normal.

You need to be prepared for the unexpected, for the days when someone gets sick or you sleep badly or your schedule blows up.

You’ll have weeks where you simply cannot give your goal the attention you normally would.

But instead of abandoning the goal completely, have a minimum version of what you can do up your sleeve.

• If you normally write for an hour, perhaps your minimum is ten minutes.

• If you normally exercise four times, perhaps your minimum is one workout.

• If you normally spend ten hours on your business, perhaps your minimum is two.

The point is to keep the relationship with the goal alive.

Then, when life settles down, you can increase the effort again.

Be willing to disappoint people

Sometimes protecting your goal will mean disappointing someone.

• You may have to say no to an invitation.

• You may not be able to volunteer.

• You may not be available for every social event.

Someone may think you’re being selfish and hey, you may indeed feel guilty but you’ll have to tolerate some of that discomfort because if your goal matters to you, there will be things you cannot do.

You don’t need to constantly battle with or justify the boundaries that keep you from falling apart.

And watch for the warning signs

There is a difference between being stretched by a big goal and being consumed by it.

So pay attention to the way you feel every day.

• Are you constantly irritable or exhausted?

• Are you never mentally present?

• Are you missing things you genuinely care about?

• Are you becoming resentful of the people around you because they are “getting in the way” of your goal?

Those are useful signals to pay attention to because there might be something about the way you’re pursuing it that needs to change.

Maybe you need to slow down or get more support or renegotiate expectations.

Occasionally, you may also realise that your dreamy goal isn’t worth the price you’re paying for it. Which is fine because you’re allowed to change your mind.

Remember what success is actually for

Why do you even want to achieve that dreamy goal?

If you want to build a successful business so you can have more freedom, but the business now requires you to work every night and every weekend, something has gone wrong.

If you want to become wealthy so you can enjoy more experiences with your family, but you’re too busy working to enjoy any of them, something has gone wrong.

Keep in mind that the goal is supposed to serve your life.

Sometimes you will work hard and be tired and sacrifice things but there should still be a connection between what you’re working toward and the life you actually want.

You don’t have to choose

Women shouldn’t be forced to choose between ambition and family.

But at the same time we need to stop pretending we can have everything, all at once, with no trade-offs and no consequences.

You will need to make choices about your time.

You will need boundaries, help, grace and lots of self-compassion.

Most importantly, you will need to decide what matters most to you on any given day.

Because the real goal is to create a life where the things that matter most to you receive enough of your attention, energy and time.

So chase the big goal. Seriously, go for it! Stop waiting for permission.

But don’t burn down the life you love to prove that you’re can do it ALL.

Let the goal stretch you without consuming you and become part of your life rather than the whole of it.

You don’t want to look around and discover that you sacrificed everything good for the dreamy goal you wanted.

You want to be able to say:

I went after the dream. And I ALSO built a life I loved along the way.

Much love,

Frances xxx

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

Leaning Into Your Fears (Live Encore)

Thank you to everyone who tuned into my first live video!

This is the encore to my first live, where I discussed the merits of leaning into fear.

This morning, I woke up and had a random thought: “Would I be brave enough to do a live?” And it turns out the answer was YES.

Now, I’ve faced my fears many times in my life, especially in my business, but going live was something I hadn’t yet dared to try.

Of course, I was nervous beforehand, but I wanted to demonstrate to you what leaning into your fears actually looks like.

Like the saying goes: feel the fear… and do it anyway.

In this encore video, I talk about what it really looks like to lean into your fears and why doing so can be such an important part of creating the life you want.

Thanks again to everyone who joined me.

Needless to say, I was so proud of myself for leaning into my fears.

As they say, jump and the net shall appear.

Much love,
Frances xx

P.S. See The Fearless You Club Here

CLICK HERE TO WATCH👇🏻

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

Here’s a quick wrap-up of the things I’m loving, doing and thinking about this week.

Welcome to the latest edition of Dear Diary: Weekly Wrap-Up.

Here’s a little snapshot of what I’ve been up to this week:

1 - What I’m Pondering On

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how nostalgia can make your life feel richer.

For example, I bought these two books this week (see pic below) because I remember reading and loving them when my kids were still young.

I eventually gave them away so receiving them again this week gave me such a rush of feeling - almost like being transported back in time.

And it turns out, this isn’t a one-off.

So many of the things I’ve bought over the years, especially for my kids, have also connected me with my own childhood: Lego, My Little Ponies, Mr Potato Head, vintage Nancy Drew, The Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley High books etc.

It’s like holding a little piece of history in your hands.

And I think there’s something pretty cool about that.

We often think of a richer life as being about new experiences, but a part of living richly is also revisiting the things that made us happy before.

Because these things can bring an entire chapter of your life rushing back - and for a moment, you get to experience a little of that feeling all over again.

Does anyone else ever buy or keep things because of the positive feelings wrapped up in them?

I hope so, because I’m convinced that embracing the things that flood you with happy memories is another beautiful way to make your life feel richer.

2 - What I’m Reading

I absolutely love reading autobiographies.

Some of my favourites this year have been by Lisa Marie Presley, Sinéad O’Connor, Tina Turner, Cher and Christina Applegate, so it was a given that I wanted to read This Is Me by Hayden Panettiere.

I was sad to hear that she passed away at such a young age, and listening to her narrate her own story felt incredibly eerie. There was something particularly poignant about hearing her voice tell a story that we now know had such a tragic ending.

I have nothing but compassion for her.

For More Books To Read:

3 - What I’m Watching

I just finished watching the Prime documentary Murder 101 last night after coming home from my trip away, and oh my gosh. Wow - what an amazing surprise.

The documentary follows high school sociology teacher Alex Campbell and his students in rural Tennessee as they investigate a 1980s cold case as a class assignment.

Using old newspaper articles, research and profiling techniques, the teenagers uncover a string of connected victims, ultimately helping authorities crack open a decades-old serial killer case known as the Redhead Murders.

I found the whole thing fascinating, but most of all was so impressed by Alex Campbell himself. What an incredible teacher! I do hope they give Alex Campbell a Teacher of the Year award. He certainly deserves one.

For More Movies To Watch:

4 - What I’m Giggling Over

Given that I deleted social media apps from my phone months ago, this little quote really rings true!

5 - What I’m Eating

I’m obsessed with Arancinis this week and love how easy these ones were to make.

This is the recipe I used.

6 - What I’m Writing

Here’s a quick snapshot of the articles I shared this week:

7 - What I’m Snapping

I went away this weekend to the Southern Highlands with friends.

Cozy, slow and comforting are three words to describe my time away.

And that’s a little snapshot of my life lately.

Thanks for spending a few minutes catching up with me. 🤍

I’d love to know...

What’s something you’ve been loving lately?

With love,

Frances xxx

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

WELCOME TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY

The Get Out Of Your Own Way series is part of the Your Richer Life Vault, available exclusively to paid subscribers.

Twice a month you’ll receive a new lesson and a practical Implementation Guide to turn insight into action.

Together we’ll work on overcoming self-sabotage and quieting overthinking, so you show up each day less like your worst enemy and more like a best friend leading you towards a richer, lighter life.

To unlock full access to every bonus course, premium guide and resource inside the Your Richer Life Vault, upgrade your subscription below.

You’re your own worst enemy when you SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU THINK IS GOOD ENOUGH, even though it’s totally possible to strive for more.

Let’s talk about how settling for “good enough” shows up in our life

“If it’s good enough for you, it’s good enough for me. ”

You may be wondering how settling for “good enough” could possibly be a problem when it contains the word “good” in it.

Can something “good” really be that bad?”

Let me show you how to work this out.

The simplest way to work out if “settling for good enough” is an issue for you is by the way you feel inside.

Does what you have - even though most would consider it to be “good” (their opinion only) - make you feel like crap inside? If so, then this chapter is for you.

When you “settle for good enough,” you agree to or accept something, even though it isn’t something you really want.

For example:

• It’s when you stay in a job you hate, even though the thought of working there makes your soul die a little each day.

• It’s when you stay in a crappy romantic alliance, because you fear you’ll never find a better partner.

• It’s when you accept the relationships you have with your life - with your family and friends, without ever realizing that you have the power to transform the dynamics by the way you show up in them.

• It’s when you allow life to dictate the terms of your life and relationships and squish down this idea that you can actually ask for more.

• It’s when you become a victim of your poor choices rather than realizing you have the power to create new ones.

• It’s when you see other people “settle” for good enough and think this is normal and therefore don’t question whether you’re actually capable of achieving more.

  ---

Why We Settle In Life

There are numerous reasons why we settle in life. Sometimes it’s a self-confidence issue. We genuinely believe we don’t deserve any better.

Sometimes we don’t even realize we are settling.

Sometimes we think our circumstances aren’t actually “that bad”. I mean, things could always be worse, right?

It’s when we become complacent in life and lose the will or motivation to reach for big goals. Or we’re terrified of change and failure.

Like many of the other challenges presented in this book, settling for good enough is a conscious decision you choose to make.

And guess what we can do about past decisions that no longer serve us?

Read more

How To Choose Hope, Without Pretending Everything’s Fine. 🫶🏻

Today, I want to share a video from my Inspiring Life archives.

In life, we tend to categorise people as optimists, realists, or pessimists. And when the world feels heavy, being an optimist can honestly feel like the hardest one to embrace.

But if you want to live a richer, lighter life, I really do believe an optimistic mindset matters.

And I’m not talking about toxic positivity - eg: pretending everything is fine, forcing a smile through hard things, or refusing to acknowledge reality.

Being an optimist is something completely different.

It’s instead about showing up for yourself, having your own back and choosing to believe that things can work out, even when you have absolutely no idea how they will.

It’s not about believing everything will go your way.

It’s about believing you can handle it if it doesn’t.

Watch the video below for a real and honest take on what that kind of optimism actually looks like.

Much love,

Frances Vidakovic xxx

P.S. Inspiring Life Academy is where you’ll find lifetime access to all my courses.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH👇🏻

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

Hey, I’m Frances!

Welcome to Your Richer Life 🫶🏻

This is a premium space for women who want to think better and live a richer, lighter life while pursuing dreamy goals.

A little about why I built this

I’m a life coach, author, and writer who has spent more than two decades helping women think differently about their lives.

I hold a degree in psychology, have written 25+ books, and my courses have served over 10,000 students. My website InspiringMomLife.com has also welcomed more than 10 million readers.

But the things that have shaped me the most have happened behind the scenes.

After graduating from university, I lived in a tiny village on a little European island that taught me the beauty of simplicity, slow living, and riches that couldn’t be bought in any store.

Then later, I became a parent raising a child with a degenerative neuromuscular condition that requires him to use a wheelchair full-time. These experiences have profoundly changed the way I see life and what truly matters most.

I now know with full conviction that life is indeed precious, and that a richer life with richer goals is possible, even in a sometimes heavy world.

That perspective sits at the heart of everything I write and teach here.

In a nutshell, here at Your Richer Life we focus on:

→ Pursuing dreamy goals - the ones worth stretching for
→ Nurturing a quiet mind - always clarity over noise and chaos
→ Living a rich life - savouring what you’ve already got

The way we do this is by:

Waking Up: See your life clearly. Notice your patterns. Stop sleepwalking through your days.

Doing What Matters: Do what actually matters. Take action on your dreamy goals. Follow through - even when it’s uncomfortable.

Savoring It All: Be present for your life. Enjoy your people. Don’t rush past the moments that matter.

This is my sole mission inside Your Richer Life, to support you as you work towards your goals, without losing yourself in the process.

This is for the woman who:

• Is quietly ambitious - she just knows she wants more inside

• Is chasing dreamy goals, that her heart keeps calling her to do

• Wants a quieter mind - with less noise and chaos, more clarity

• Desires a richer, lighter life - present with her people, not rushing past the moments that matter

What I believe

Life is incredibly precious, but it’s also not guaranteed. And time isn’t something we get more of. This is why, if you have dreamy goals calling your name, today is the best day to follow the nudge.

And if you need support to help you stay inspired and on track, you can find it here.

At the same time, life also has the potential to be incredibly rich and full of moments that matter - if you’re actually present for them.

FYI: you don’t need a completely different life to be happy.
You just need to start making the most of the one you already have.

When you join Your Richer Life for $15/month (or $85/year), you get instant access to:

❅ The full paid archive

Every premium guide, mini-masterclasses, paid article and bonus courses such as The 21-Day Your Richer Life Audio Journey and When Your Mind Holds You Back Vault.

❅ Weekly Implementation Guides

A new paid lesson and PDF drops every Monday, and they alternate between two series:

→ Don’t Die Unhappy - to help you make the most of your one precious life.

→ Get Out of Your Own Way - to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage.

❅ Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one. A new audio drops every Thursday.

❅ The LIGHTER Experiment

A monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen

$15/month or $85/year. Cancel anytime.

Wake up. Do what matters. Savor it all. 🙌🏻

Why this matters so much to me

I’ve been coaching for over twenty-five years, and I’ve seen the difference between those who lean into support and those who try to flail their way through it alone.

Left to your own devices, your mind will try to hold you back. That’s just what it naturally does - our thoughts fill with fear and doubt, especially whenever we try to do something differently.

Or you’ll make it so far, then inevitably get stuck in the messy middle and want to give up. This is all completely normal.

And the difference between those who stop and those who keep going, despite the discomfort? Support. Having someone or something in your corner, reminding you why you started.

Bear in mind: life is fragile and incredibly precious. If we’re here right now, alive in this world - why not give it everything you’ve got?

This space exists for one reason: To help you think clearer, chase your dreamy goals and make the most of your one precious life.

If You’re Already A Member

Quick Access To All Paid Resources Is Here:

To See A Behind The Scenes Tour:

This'll give you a feel for what to expect inside the Richer Life Vault:

A Few Of My Favourite Articles:

Needless to say, I’m so glad you are here.

Today is the perfect day to begin thinking more clearly, doing what matters and embracing your dreamy goals.

Wake up. Do what matters. Savor it all. 🙌🏻

Much love,

Frances xx

Ready to go deeper?

Come join me inside Your Richer Life Vault, where the focus is on helping you live a richer, lighter life every day while pursuing what matters most to you.

$15/month or $85/year. I’d love to welcome you inside.

A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

45 Things I Learned By The Time I Was 45

A quick note before we dive in: I’m now 51, and this is an article I actually wrote back when I was 45 (so it’s now six years old!). I still think there are so many valuable insights here, which is why I’m sharing it today. Word of warning - it’s a long post, around 10,000 words - but it covers the 45 things I’d learned reflecting back on my entire life at that point. I hope you enjoy it.

A few months ago I celebrated my 45th birthday, and it didn’t feel like a particularly pivotal milestone the way entering my 30s or 40s had felt. Instead it was like a little stone I tripped over on my path that made me stop and say, “Oh - is this where I am right now?” I’m now 45, and this is where I have made it.

Thankfully, I loved the view I saw around me when I stopped to take everything in. I love my work, I love my family and friends, I love my home and the city we live in. My children are now 13 and 16, so they’re at that perfect age where they’re starting to become more independent. And by this age in adulthood, we’ve been here long enough to get comfortable in our skin - proud of our strengths, more accepting of our weaknesses.

So I thought I’d take the time to note all the things I’ve learned on my journey through life so far - the good, the bad, and everything in between. When I sat down to think about this list, I had no idea what even one lesson would be.

How do you summarise all the knowledge you’ve gained after spending almost 16,500 days here on Earth? Yes, I pulled out a calculator to work that figure out, and the number truly stumped me. I’ve spent 16,500 days here on Earth, and only a couple of hundred pivotal moments have stuck clearly in my mind.

The cool thing is, I’m fully aware that I’m always still growing - I’ve never stopped growing since the day I was born. I know more today than I did yesterday, and I’m not the same person I was last year, or even earlier this year.

I am constantly evolving, ever-changing, and that’s one of the most amazing opportunities we have as humans - we can always do more, live more, and be more, when we make that our intention.

So without further ado, here are 45 things I’ve learned after being on this planet for 45 years.

1 - Life is short and time is precious

It’s only fitting that we start this list with the mantra by which I live my life: life is short and time is precious. For some reason, many of us live our lives as though the opposite is true. We act as if time is unlimited, as if we have an infinite number of days left on this planet, when there’s no evidence to suggest that’s true.

We also act as if life goes on forever - as if there’s more than enough time to achieve whatever we want when, once again, there’s no evidence to back that up. It does feel long at times while we’re going through our days, but before we know it, our days have turned into weeks, which have turned into months and years.

And before you know it, you’re in your 40s and 50s and 60s, and it hurts to know you’ve wasted time and failed to grasp opportunities because you were waiting to start tomorrow - and then tomorrow never comes, because it’s always today.

This is one of those lessons many people learn later in life, once the years have already passed. You learn there’s no rewind or do-over button, that the time to grab life’s opportunities was right when it was happening, not after the fact.

But when the lesson becomes crystal clear, it’s like a lightbulb going off - suddenly you live with more intention, knowing this is it. The time to do things is now, while you still can, while you’re inspired to dream big.

2 - We all have a special gift

I honestly believe we were all put on this Earth for a reason, and we all have something special to share with others.

For me, my gift was writing. I think I knew from the age of 12 that this gift existed inside of me, because of my strong love for books and writing. That doesn’t mean I was a great writer right from the start - it absolutely took time to refine my skills and get better through practice.

But I sincerely loved writing, and even if I wasn’t paid a cent for it, you couldn’t tear me away from my laptop, or a paper and pen, to get these words out of me.

Your gift may look completely different. If it isn’t evident to you right now, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. For some it’s the gift to paint, sing, tell funny jokes, or solve problems. For others it’s the ability to communicate well, build things, or be kind and patient with children.

I can’t even begin to list the potential gifts that exist in this world, because they’re endless. Our vocational strengths can be our gifts. Our ability to be resilient, compassionate, creative, adaptable, or to love - these can be our gifts too.

Whatever the case, you have one, and even if you haven’t identified it yet, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Look deep and understand that you were put on this Earth for a reason - you are meant to be here, and your presence serves a purpose for one or many people in this world. You are needed, and you are special. The moment you understand this truth, you can use your gift to create a life you love.

As Debbi Fields once said: “We are here for a reason. We all have a gift or gifts to share. You want to look inside your heart and your soul, and you want to tap into the one thing you love to do. Develop it. Share it. Nurture it. You were meant to have that gift.”

3 - Your dreams don’t just fall into your lap

Now that we know we’re born with gifts, we need to understand that we all also have the ability to dream.

Some of us dream bigger than others, and if something has made you dream small rather than big, I encourage you to look at what’s gotten in your way.

As Robert Kiyosaki once said, people who dream small dreams continue to live as small people - so be brave enough to dream big instead. You may be wondering how to make that shift, and the answer is simple: just decide.

Decide you want more out of life. Decide you are worthy. Decide that giving it a go and failing is better than not giving it a go at all. Just decide.

4 - Holidays are worth the investment

A lot of us um and ah about taking holidays. They’re expensive. We need to take time off work, or maybe even pull our kids out of school during term, to take an extended trip. But in the end, I’ve never regretted any of them. They stand out as my all-time favourite life memories, and they feel priceless to me.

My family and I have taken three summer trips to Europe, back to the island where my parents were born, since the kids were young - and each holiday was such a gift. Just being able to spend time together, away from school and work commitments and the everyday routine, having fun and relaxing instead.

My kids also had the opportunity to immerse themselves in a new culture and spend time with family they never knew they had. Each time we stressed about how we could pull it off - we saved and made sacrifices = but in the end it was so worth the investment. Those memories are worth every cent to me.

The same can be said for the trips we took as kids with our own parents. My parents worked hard throughout our childhoods, so we only ever took two big holidays while at school - one back to Croatia for almost four months, and six weeks in New Zealand with our cousins. It’s funny, looking back as an adult, to realise you don’t remember as much as you thought from those first 18 years.

But I do remember my parents seeming like different people when they were on holidays - so much nicer and happier, away from life’s day-to-day stresses.

As adults, we also had the chance to go away with them, and once again, everything felt different - we got to enjoy each other, reflect on our blessings, and feel more alive. Even though there’s an expense attached to holidays, and some sacrifice is required to make those trips happen, they are well worth the investment.

5 - Travel opens your eyes to the beauty of the world around us

I wanted to add a lesson about travel that’s related to the previous one, but different in that I’ve realised how pivotal all my travels have been in shaping the person I am today.

As I mentioned, my parents took us on only two big holidays as kids, so I didn’t get to travel again until I was an adult and had saved my own money. I funded two and a half years of living on the island where my parents were born, and later, as a 25-year-old, went back to Europe and did all the things I’d dreamed of since I was a kid.

I sipped tea in the cafes of Paris, went on a gondola ride in Venice, danced in Barcelona, drank wine in Tuscany, caught the Tube in London, visited the palace in Monaco, scribbled my name beneath Juliet’s balcony in Verona, and allowed myself to dream big.

Even though that stretch through England, Spain, Italy, and France lasted only a few weeks, it made me realise the truth of Saint Augustine’s words: “The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.”

Travel reminds you that where you live is just one tiny dot on the planet, and there exists so much more in the world - different people, cultures, languages, customs, and ways of viewing the world. I believe people should try to travel while they’re still young and able to.

We stress about the money, but somehow we can make it work, because the world is yours to explore, and experience is far more valuable than money will ever be. As Danny Kaye once said, “To travel is to take a journey into yourself.”

In the end, you won’t remember the times you spent working in your office or mopping the floor. You’ll remember the moments you stepped outside your comfort zone. Travelling gives you new eyes with which to view yourself and the world around you - and by gosh, we live in a beautiful world.

If you’ve never travelled, that’s okay - there’s still time. And if you’ve travelled in the past but aren’t in the season of life to do so right now, know that the option remains available for you in the future. '

Right now, my kids are in high school, and my daughter is coming to the end of her schooling years, where trips abroad aren’t as feasible - but that’s okay. I accept that this is simply the season we’re in now. I do hope to travel more in the future, because travel makes me feel more alive, and it opens up our eyes to the beauty of this world.

6 - It’s better to do something and regret it than regret not doing it at all

I heard this quote as a teenager, and I remember my mind almost exploding from how powerful I thought it was.

Up until then, I had held back from doing lots of things, worried about the consequences. I thought it was better to keep myself small rather than too big - better to avoid mistakes than deal with their fallout. But then one day I realised keeping myself small wasn’t really living.

It’s like living in a tight box, kidding yourself that the box is safe and comfortable, when the truth is that the security of feeling safe lives within you - so once you have it, you can step outside the box and go anywhere, because you have your own back.

Throughout my life, this has been a mantra I’ve had to repeat to myself whenever I thought something was going wrong: it’s better to do something and regret it than not do something at all.

Since then, I’ve taken chances, stepped outside my comfort zone, and tried to just live rather than avoid mistakes, avoid failure, avoid saying or doing things when my heart was secretly yearning to give it a go.

Mark Twain was so right when he said: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

7 - It’s true what they say - you only have 18 summers with your kids

Now it’s time to touch on a lesson I’ve learned since having kids. My kids are teenagers now, aged 13 and 16, and closer to the adult years than to newborn - so I have to say, it’s true when people say time flies past fast.

One minute they were babies, then toddlers and pre-schoolers, and the next they’re growing at the most rapid rate - suddenly taller than you, becoming more independent, not stuck to your side like in the early years. I sometimes see a mum pushing a pram and can barely remember what it was like to be in those shoes.

It feels like a lifetime ago. And while those early years sometimes feel so long ago, the later years feel like they’re on steroids - they go so fast, and before you know it, your kids are becoming mini-adults.

Eighteen summers, my friends - that’s what we have with our kids pre-adulthood, while they’re still safe and secure within our home. Even though our relationships with them will continue to grow and mature, those early days of wanting kisses and cuddles, of wanting you to read them bedtime stories or jump into bed with them - they will one day be gone.

For me, I went through a strange mourning phase once my kids were both in high school. It was hard to say goodbye to those younger years, hard to know they wouldn’t be grabbing my hand as I walked them to school anymore, hard to let go of the fact that I wouldn’t be the centre of their world anymore, because suddenly their friendship circle is more important to them - which is perfectly normal for teenagers.

The teenage years are a period where it’s expected that kids will slowly break free from their dependency on their parents as they make their way toward adulthood. But for some of us, it takes time to adjust to this change. Eighteen summers, my friend. Treasure every single one of them.

A note from 51-year-old me:

I want to add something here, because my thoughts on this one has definitely shifted in the last six years!

When I wrote this, my kids were teenagers, and “18 summers” felt like a countdown clock - something to scare us into treasuring every moment before it was gone. Now my kids are 20 and 22, and I’ve realised something I didn’t understand back then: those 18 summers ARE NOT the whole story. As long as they’re alive, I get to be part of their life - maybe not woven into every single day the way it once was, but present, still. Because parenting doesn’t end the moment your kids reach adulthood.

I think this “18 summers” quote was simply meant to remind us to treasure the years when our kids are young - and it’s true, we only get 18 of those. But there are many more summers that come after that, which we just learn to appreciate in a different way.

8 - Family is everything

I’m not sure whether I’ve noted this lesson simply because it was drummed into me from an early age, or whether I would have eventually come to the same conclusion anyway. But it’s a big thing for me today - and that isn’t to say I have the perfect family, because I don’t. We’re very normal, which means we sometimes squabble and often disagree.

But in the end, we understand we’re connected to each other, and being loving means loving each other despite our differences. We make time for each other.

My parents still insist my sisters and I get together every week for a family dinner. We call each other all the time to check in. We are loyal, and we have each other’s back. My husband and I have tried to instil these same values in our kids, because if we want future generations to stay close, we need to reiterate this same message: family is everything, through thick and thin.

Yes, we may be different. Yes, we may squabble. But at the end of the day, blood is thicker than water, and just like the branches on a tree, we may grow in different directions, but our roots will always remain the same.

As Desmond Tutu once said, “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” And as Anita Baker put it: “You leave home to seek your fortune, and when you get it, you go home and share it with your family.”

9 - Great friends are priceless

The next thing I’ve learned in life is that great friends are priceless.

That doesn’t mean you have to keep the same friends you’ve had since childhood. Like the seasons in your life, friends will come and go. A true friend doesn’t have to be right by your side 24 hours a day.

Some of my best friends in the world are half the world away right now, but I feel as if their presence is right beside me - supporting me from a distance, always loving me, wishing me well.

They’re the friends you can call in the middle of the night, knowing they’ll pick up the phone when they see your name. They make life sweeter, they refresh your soul, and everything seems fine when you’re in their presence.

It doesn’t matter what else is going on in your life - the whole world could be in utter chaos, and everything would still be okay, because you’re there for them and they’re there for you.

To have a friend like that is a gift, a blessing, and something to be treasured forever. You may encounter dozens of people you love throughout your life, but if you collect even just a handful of these true friends, you’re blessed.

With them, there’s no need for pretence - you can let your hair down and say or do anything, knowing they love you for who you are, not some unicorn version of yourself that doesn’t really exist. I’m blessed to have a few priceless friendships in my life, and I hope you are too. Treasure them dearly - they’re worth their weight in gold.

10 - Grief is the price we pay for love

I put this down as a lesson because I recently lost my auntie, and as I get older, it becomes more apparent than ever that we don’t live forever. As we age, our parents age too, and we become more conscious of our own mortality.

It hurts a lot to say goodbye to someone we love, but I now understand it’s supposed to hurt - because that’s the price we pay for love. Feeling grief is what we call “clean pain,” because it’s a natural, normal response when someone passes away, or when we experience the loss of love. We feel grief when our hearts are broken, when friendships and relationships or a life ends.

But we only feel that way because we loved deeply and with all our hearts - so in some ways, we’re blessed to have loved that deeply at all. As they say, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

11 - You may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince

When I was writing this list, I decided to honour whatever ideas came to mind and just write them down, unedited - and this was the first quirky one that made me go, “Seriously? This is one of my grand life lessons?” But apparently it is - something I’d want to share with the younger people listening.

Back when I was a teenager, dreaming of a future that included a job I loved and a family of my own, it would have helped to know that the first, second, or third boy I had a crush on might be a frog instead of a prince. Looking back, this lesson is definitely true.

Sometimes you’ll like someone who isn’t right for you. Sometimes you’ll like someone who you think is right for you, yet they don’t feel the same way. None of us know when we’ll meet our future partner, but we need to be open to that experience, and open to love, for it to come our way.

I met my husband at 23, when I was least expecting it - I was living overseas with no real intention of coming back to live in Sydney at the time. But when you meet someone you think could be your prince, you need to be willing to trust the journey and see where it takes you. Trust your intuition.

Some people might need to kiss a hundred frogs before finding their one, and others may find their prince later turns back into a frog - and that’s okay too. We all have a different journey to love, and it’s part of what makes life special.

Sometimes the prince doesn’t even look like the prince you were expecting at all - just an ordinary person, in plain clothing, who catches your breath and makes your heart skip a beat.

12 - Love yourself first

While we’re on the topic of love, I think it’s important to mention the idea of loving yourself first. I don’t think I fully understood this concept when I was young - I think I confused loving yourself with being vain or arrogant, but that isn’t the self-love I’m advocating.

Self-love is when you have your own back, when you know you are worthy, capable, and enough. I love this quote: “If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” If you have the ability to love others, love yourself first.

It isn’t selfish - it’s a priority for our own happiness and sanity. Love yourself even if you aren’t perfect, even if you make mistakes, even if you sometimes drive yourself crazy. Own your story, and love yourself as you would love your best friend.

A few questions worth sitting with:

• What does self-love mean to you?

• How do you get in your own way?

• What are you having a hard time accepting about yourself?

• How do you tend to sabotage yourself?

• What do you need to forgive yourself for?

• What beliefs about yourself are holding you back in life?

In the end, it all comes down to what Buddha once said: “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

13 - It’s okay to be different

I’m not sure why kids and teens stress about the idea of being different, because I think being different is one of the coolest things in the world - to be your own unique person.

Do we really want to be a replica of every other human? Kurt Cobain said it best: “They laugh at me because I am different. I laugh at them because they’re all the same.”

Did I know this lesson when I was a teen myself? Nope, I’m sure I didn’t. I’m not even sure when this lightbulb moment dropped into my life - but you can believe it was a totally freeing and liberating day for me.

14 - Stop caring what other people think

This is another lesson similar to the one above, but that next step back. While it’s great to know it’s okay to be different, it’s even better when you stop caring what other people think of you. Please note - this is easier said than done. Even at 45, I sometimes still get an inkling of that old feeling, wondering what people might think about something I write or say.

That’s where I need to consciously nip the thought in the bud and remind myself it doesn’t actually matter what others think or say about me. Their thoughts are none of my business, and their opinion of me is not more important than my own opinion of me. They have their own life to lead, and I have my own path to follow.

It’s absolutely liberating when you don’t need or seek the approval of others. The people who love you will respect your decisions. The people who negatively judge don’t really matter in the end. As C. JoyBell C so wisely said, “The unhappiest people in this world are those who care the most what other people think.”

Follow your own heart, trust your intuition, listen to your inner voice, and stop people-pleasing. The moment you stop caring what other people think is the moment you free yourself from self-imposed shackles and the fear of judgement, and start being your true self.

15 - Not everyone you meet will be as nice as you

Now for a not-so-nice lesson: not everyone in this world will behave as nicely as you. We set ourselves up for disappointment when we expect others to have the same manners, compassion, and understanding as we do.

The truth is, some people are on a different path in their life, brought up with different expectations, carrying different values and personalities that clash with ours but work well with others.

The sooner we accept this will always be the case, the sooner we can appreciate those who are on the same wavelength as us, and become more tolerant of those who are ruder or more judgemental and dismissive - because that’s the baggage they’re carrying, and it has nothing to do with us.

16 - You teach people how to treat you

This is another tricky lesson to accept, because it means acknowledging the part you play in how people treat you. But the truth is, you do teach people how to treat you, by what you allow, what you accept, what you stop, and what you reinforce in your relationships.

If someone speaks rudely to you, you can either let it slip - which teaches that person this is okay - or you can say: “Hang on, you might talk to other people this way, but I won’t tolerate it. If you continue, I can’t hang out with you,” and walk away, every time, until it sinks in that this behaviour is not acceptable to you.

Another important thing to remember: the way you treat yourself sets the standard for how others treat you. So ask yourself - how do you treat yourself? Do you speak about yourself with love, or do you put yourself down? Are you your own cheerleader, or your own worst critic? Don’t just be good to others - be good to yourself.

If you aren’t good to yourself, how can you expect others to be good to you? And be mindful not to mirror other people’s terrible behaviour - instead of treating people the way they treat you, teach them how to treat you. Be a living example of the good you want to see in this world.

17 - Set clear boundaries

Building on the last lesson, it’s important that you learn to set boundaries. Anna Taylor said it best:

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”

Setting boundaries is another healthy way of showing self-love. It means you speak up when you’re mistreated, say what you think, and say no when you want to say no. You don’t play the role of a victim - you decide your limits, and make sure anyone in your life respects them too.

As Crystal Andrus once said: “Do not justify, apologise for, or rationalise the healthy boundary you are setting. Do not argue. Just set the boundary calmly, firmly, clearly, and respectfully.”

18 - Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself

I could talk on and on about the value of forgiveness, but here’s all you really need to know: when you forgive someone, it’s something you do for yourself.

Many people think forgiveness is something we do for others, without realising the person who benefits most from the act of forgiving is you. Forgiveness is the conscious, deliberate choice to let go of anger and bitterness toward another person or situation.

It doesn’t mean pretending the bad thing never happened. It doesn’t mean you have to be best friends with the person who wronged you, or feel lovey-dovey toward them. You may never see that person again, even though you’ve chosen to forgive them.

It simply means you’re choosing to release the negative emotion attached to that past grievance, so you can finally allow yourself to heal. Forgiveness sets you free - it allows you to let go of resentment, anger, or guilt about what you could have done differently, and to move on.

It means that past event no longer holds power over you. Forgiveness, in a nutshell, gives you true freedom, and even though it can’t erase or change the past, it does give you hope for the future.

19 - Be open

This lesson is a simple one: there is so much value in being open to life’s opportunities. Be open to learning. Be open to making mistakes. Be open to other people’s opinions. Be open to being wrong. Be open to life.

Be open to love. Be open to trying new things. Be open to the fact that you could be terrible at those things. Be open to change. Be open to yourself and loved ones. Be open to whatever comes next. Simply - be open.

20 - Enjoy your youth but plan for the future

This is a tricky lesson that requires some balance. What I’ve learned is that it’s fun to enjoy life while you’re still young - I lived overseas for a few years with my sisters and friends, and I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. But I was only able to do that because I worked part-time and diligently saved my money while still at school.

We continue to make the same decisions about how we spend our time and money as young adults. It’s great to earn an income once you leave school, but without a plan for the future, it’s easy to spend it all on clothes, going out, and takeaway, and have nothing to show for it at the end of each week - and if we do that week after week, we might end up nearing our 30s with lots of fun, transient memories, but an empty bank account.

We need to balance our desire to enjoy our youth with creating a plan for the future - whether that involves buying a home or other goals requiring some sacrifice.

Have fun along the way, but always keep in mind what you’d like to create in your future, because many of those stepping stones are laid earlier in life, and will require some sacrifice of time, money, and energy.

21 - Good health is your greatest wealth

You may have been wondering when I’d get to this lesson - here it is. In case you hadn’t worked it out yet, it’s harder to enjoy life when you’re not in good health.

To achieve good health inside and out, we need to take care of our bodies, feed them well, nourish them with nutrients, keep them moving, drink plenty of water, and consistently get a good night’s sleep. Take care of your body, my friend - it’s the only place you’ll ever live.

22 - People deserve a second chance

Not everyone will agree with me on this one, but I’ve always abided by the philosophy that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance.

I’m not saying you should give people a third, fourth, or fifth chance if they’ve hurt or betrayed you repeatedly - but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, a chance to correct their errors if they sincerely want to make amends.

You need to trust your gut here. I’d override this lesson if my intuition was screaming at me to stay away - but a second chance, I can give, if I feel there’s still something worth salvaging in that friendship.

23 - Change is inevitable

When I was younger, I don’t think I particularly cared for change. I liked things predictable and familiar. But then I discovered that change is a constant, and progress is impossible without it.

To fully experience life, you need to be willing to go with the flow, to embrace each season as it comes, instead of getting angry that the season changed. It’s a waste of energy to fight what is and always will be.

As Lao Tzu so wisely said: “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

24 - Trust your intuition

I’m not entirely sure when I became best friends with my intuition, but I believe it was later in life. When I was young, I probably heard it whispering to me all the time, but I ignored it, thinking the opinions of my family and friends mattered more than anything my soul had to say.

As I got older and wiser, I discovered that out of everyone in this world, my intuition knows and loves me best, and anything it shares is given with my best interests at heart.

As the supermodel Gisele Bündchen once said, “The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become.” Sometimes it might not even make sense to you, but you don’t need to explain or justify your feelings to anyone else.

That inner voice speaks to you because it loves you, and it’s wiser and more powerful than anything your brain can logically explain.

Have the courage to trust your intuition, my friend. Follow its lead - let it show you the way, as it will take you down the right path. Your intuition knows your true power and what you’re meant to become, so trust this precious gift rather than ignoring it.

25 - Everything has a consequence

This lesson stems from the quote: you are free to make whatever choice you want, but you are not free from the consequences of that choice. There’s always a consequence to every action you take, so before you act, make sure you’re prepared for them.

Your whole life is a product of the choices you make - pick action A and it takes you in one direction, pick action B and it takes you in another.

I love pairing this with the previous lesson on trusting your intuition, because it takes away the anxiety that sometimes comes with decision-making. Sometimes all you can do is what feels best in the current moment.

When you make a choice, you need to accept responsibility for it - both the good and the bad. Every decision usually includes gaining something while losing something else, but that’s okay. Own the decision you’ve made, trust it was right for you at the time, and accept whatever the consequences are, instead of pointing fingers at someone else.

26 - When in doubt, don’t

This lesson has a funny story attached to it. I learned this tip from a friend one day while shopping as teens. I was standing in front of the mirror, umming and ahhing about whether to buy a dress I’d tried on, when my friend said: “When in doubt, don’t. Don’t buy it. Put it back. If you still love it, you can always come back and get it. But if you really, really loved it, your decision would have already been made, and you’d be taking it straight to the counter to pay.”

All these years later, this phrase still pops up for me whenever I’m unsure about buying something. When in doubt, don’t. It’s never let me down once, and I imagine it’s saved me a lot of money over the years.

27 - You feel better wearing an outfit you love

Now for a fun lesson that’s true nonetheless: wearing clothes you love makes you feel great. Even though this might seem obvious, I had to re-learn it myself during quarantine, when I started swapping my nicer outfits for what I called my “daytime version of PJs” while working from home.

I thought, “This is so cool, no one will see me, so I can stay in leggings and a sweater all day and no one can say anything, because I’m my own boss.” But what you wear actually impacts how you feel - which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with leggings and a sweater, but if you wear them day in, day out, and they make you feel blah, it’s time to ditch that choice.

As Judith Rasband put it, “The way we dress affects the way we think, the way we feel, the way we act, and the way others react to us.” And Linda Grant: “The clothes you wear are a metamorphosis. They change you from the outside in.”

It all comes down to wearing what you - and you alone - love. For me it’s dresses and anything comfortable yet pretty. We all have a different style, so choose whatever clothes make you feel good about yourself.

It’s the same amount of time and effort to reach for something crappy versus something special, so choose wisely, and think about how your clothes make you feel.

When it comes to getting ready for the day, keep in mind that many of the things that make us feel good don’t require much time at all - applying lip gloss, spritzing on your favourite perfume. Little things that, for whatever reason, can have a big impact on your mood.

28 - You don’t always get what you wish for

We actually learn this lesson early in life, when our parents tell us, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” Sometimes you’ll wish for things that are just not part of your greater plan, and you don’t get them.

Sometimes you’ll work hard for something and it’s still not meant to be. Sometimes someone else gets the very thing you were hoping for, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

I believe in divine timing - the philosophy that we get what we need, not necessarily what we want. This is where it’s important to have faith and trust in this world and its plan for you.

Trust that everything is happening at the right time and place for you, even though it may not look exactly like the picture you envisioned.

Sometimes things simply weren’t meant to be. Sometimes they’re meant to be, just not at the time you were hoping. Have faith, and know that your life is unfolding exactly the way it was meant to.

29 - Flexibility will save you a lot of grief

I’ve found flexibility is one of the keys to happiness. As Bruce Lee once said, “The stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.” Flexibility is another way of saying going with the flow - it means you might have expected Plan A, but instead need Plan B.

It gives you more choices; it means understanding you have more than one path you could follow, and sometimes we need to swerve left or right rather than going straight ahead.

It requires an open mind and being open to change. You might need to head down roads you weren’t expecting, and find they lead somewhere just as beautiful as where you thought you were going. Flexibility requires being fine with these detours, because ultimately they serve you best.

30 - It’s not hard to be kind

Not many people know this, but on my wedding band I had just two words engraved: BE KIND. Someone once told me that if everyone was just a little kinder, the world would be a nicer place to live in. It’s such basic advice, but how true is it?

Kindness, in my opinion, is one of the most underrated character traits. We often comment when people are honest, driven, passionate, determined, or intelligent - but how often do you see someone include “I’m kind” on their resume? Almost never.

It really isn’t hard to be kinder to others. Kindness usually requires so little of your time - it’s basically free - yet it has the power to change the world and impact an individual’s life.

Sometimes you won’t even know the lasting impact your kind words and actions have had on someone else, but they can remain imprinted on their mind forever. I’ve never forgotten the kindness of others, and it reminds me just how beautiful the world can really be. It’s so simple. Just be kind.

31 - Less is more

It takes a while for most people to learn this, because when we’re younger we think more is more - more money, more friends, more trophies, more gadgets, more possessions equalling a more fulfilling life. But that isn’t always the case. What I’ve discovered as I’ve gotten older is that sometimes you actually need to remove things from your life to be happier.

For me, less stress, less clutter, less chaos, less superficial friendships, fewer scheduled activities, fewer obligations, and less drama has equalled so much more happiness, calm, and peace.

Not everyone desires a simpler life - you may love collecting things and having a jam-packed diary, and that’s fine too. But for me, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve made it my priority to remove what I don’t really need, to make room for appreciating and enjoying what remains - the things I truly treasure most in life.

32 - Patience is a virtue

Anyone who knows me well probably expected this lesson to turn up somewhere on this list, because I’m always saying it: patience is a virtue.

Now, when I speak about patience, I don’t mean just being patient while waiting in a queue - this relates more to the big goals in your life, and having the calm acceptance that things might happen in a different order, or on a different timeline, than the one you have in mind.

As Joyce Meyer once said, “Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”

Most goals aren’t achieved overnight. You need to sow the seeds of that dream and wait some time before you see the first signs of harvest. The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit. If you’re naturally an impatient person, this may be tough at first - but life will teach you this lesson over time.

It’s about understanding that things unfold in their own time, and accepting that waiting is part of the process of reaching your goals. It requires faith, trust, and a never-give-up attitude. It’s like a muscle you need to keep practising and exercising for it to get stronger.

Patience doesn’t mean sitting idly, waiting for something to happen - it means actively believing it will happen eventually, at the right time and in the right way.

33 - Pain and discomfort is temporary

When I was younger, I used to actively try to avoid pain and discomfort - hurt, rejection, feeling embarrassed, scared, or vulnerable. But I’ve learned over time that when that feeling comes, it doesn’t last forever. It’s transient - it passes through you and slides away the moment you let it go.

If there’s something you’re avoiding because you think it might be uncomfortable, know that discomfort doesn’t last forever. Think about something embarrassing that happened to you as a kid.

For me, it’s the time my mum made me wear a skivvy underneath my summer dress when I was around 9, going to a friend’s birthday party. I was mortified - I wanted to wear the new dress, but the price was also wearing that skivvy underneath.

It ended up being a warm day, so I sweated through the whole party. I still have a photo where I look totally miserable - but I don’t walk around annoyed at my mum for it anymore. With the passage of time, I can have a giggle about it now.

Chances are, you too have gotten over temporary feelings of discomfort. Those feelings may last minutes, hours, or days, but eventually your mind processes it and realises it really wasn’t as bad as it seemed. You survived it, grew stronger, realised you’re as tough as nails.

Knowing in advance that pain and discomfort are temporary means you don’t fear them as much, because you really can survive anything that comes your way.

34 - Most of the things we worry about don’t happen

I’ll keep this one short and sweet, because the title really says it all. Most of the things we worry about don’t happen. Period. Yet we waste so much mental energy focused on what could possibly happen, rather than dealing with the here and now - which, for the most part, is where everything is fine. Right this second, right this moment, you can deal with everything that comes your way.

35 - Some sacrifice is necessary in life

Sacrifice might seem like a terrible word to some, but I view it as a great thing if it takes you one step closer to your dreams. Nothing great was ever accomplished without making sacrifices, my friend. You’ll need to give up some things to achieve the rewards you’re after.

The first step is deciding what you’re willing to give up in the name of that dream - maybe it’s time, maybe it’s money invested in your education, maybe it’s going out less so you can stay home and work on your goals.

You may need to sacrifice bad habits, weaknesses, and comforts. In the end, if you don’t sacrifice something for what you want, what you want will become the thing you sacrifice.

36 - You don’t need alcohol to have fun

I should preface this by saying I’ve never been a big drinker, and I’m happy to be the designated driver whenever the situation calls for it. But many people believe a night out without drinking can’t be fun, or that you need to drink to have a great night - and this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Fun comes from your attitude and willingness to have fun. It comes from dancing to music you love, hanging out with people you love, and enjoying a great laugh. It comes from leaving your stresses and worries at home and giving yourself permission to just enjoy life and the company you’re with.

You don’t need to alter your state of mind with alcohol to make these things happen - even if everyone around you is drinking, that doesn’t mean you need to.

This isn’t to say I judge anyone who likes to drink - I have plenty of friends who do, and I’ll still enjoy a beer on occasion. But it isn’t with the assumption that I need to drink to have fun. This lesson is about breaking down the connection between alcohol and fun, because the two are quite separate things.

A person can drink and be miserable, and not drink and have the best night ever - which is great news for anyone wanting to minimise the amount they drink but worried it’ll cut into their fun. To have fun, just create fun, and be fun.

37 - People aren’t mind-readers

I can’t tell you how much grief I’ve seen come from the expectation that people can read your mind and know exactly what you’re thinking and feeling - myself included. We think someone should intuitively know what we want or need, without us actually opening our mouths to say it. But that’s not how it works.

While it would be a cool superpower to have, none of us can read other people’s minds. We can guess based on previous encounters, but given that humans have around 60,000 thoughts a day, there’s a good chance we’ll make the wrong assumption.

And let’s be honest - sometimes we don’t even know what we want ourselves. If you want something specific, say it out loud. If you’re thinking something that needs to be said, say it out loud. No one in this world will ever be able to read your mind, so the only way they’ll know what you’re thinking is if you clearly and concisely share it with them.

38 - Sometimes it’s best to bite your tongue

Following on from the last lesson, I’ve discovered that sometimes it really is best to bite your tongue. This rule doesn’t apply if you feel strongly about speaking your mind on an issue close to your heart - it applies instead to all the little things that frustrate you throughout the day.

As the proverb says, “Whoever watches his mouth and tongue keeps himself from trouble.” I’d add: and doesn’t say things he later regrets.

We often forget that words have power. Another proverb worth remembering: “Words kill, words give life - they’re either poison or fruit, you choose.” If something isn’t helping the situation, do you need to add your two cents?

If it’s honest but not kind, is it really necessary? Are your words uplifting someone, or bringing them down? Are you building bridges, or tearing them down? In a nutshell, your words have the power to heal or destroy, so choose them wisely.

39 - The secret to getting things done is taking baby steps

Maybe you’ve always known this to be true, but I always feel like a genius when I use this strategy to break down my bigger goals. At the outset, big goals are overwhelming - enough to scare you from ever trying. But as they say, how do you eat an elephant? Piece by piece.

I’ve used this baby-steps strategy to write over 20 books, create more than a dozen courses, and build four blogs, just by taking tiny steps. As Chris Gardner once said, “Baby steps count, as long as you are going forward.” You add them all up, and one day you’ll look back and be surprised at where you’ve gotten to.

Even the smallest actions are steps in the right direction, once you’ve given thought to what you need to do. Outrageous goals plus baby steps equal a recipe for success. You don’t need to worry about what’s five steps ahead just yet - focus on one step at a time.

When I’m writing a book, I don’t worry about chapter 10 while I’m working on chapter 1, and I don’t stress about editing or the cover while I’m still writing. One step at a time - and all you need to do is keep moving forward, like the tortoise who won the race while the hare slept beneath the shady trees, thinking he had all the time in the world.

If you stick to this strategy consistently, this quote by Earl Nightingale will ring true: “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” So why not use that time to get to your goals, by taking baby steps every day.

40 - There’s always more to know, so never stop learning

If someone young is listening to this, they might freak out at the idea of continuing to study - but here’s the good news: you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to in your life.

If you never want to read a book again after school, you don’t have to. If you want to keep your mind closed to new information, that’s a choice you can make. Plenty of people have closed themselves off to learning, so you wouldn’t necessarily be alone.

But what I’ve found, at my age, is that the moment you stop learning is the moment you stop growing. As Albert Einstein once said, “Once you stop learning, you start dying.” Learning keeps my mind active - like a sponge, it’s keen to soak it all in. There’s always more to learn, and if you’re open to it, life is a never-ending journey of discovery.

Even Michelangelo, at age 87, said, “I am still learning.” It reminds me of Socrates’ famous line: “All I know is I know nothing.” The older I get, and the more I learn, the more I discover I actually know less than I previously assumed.

Even Socrates, considered wise by his peers, understood that no matter how much knowledge one individual obtains, it’s just a tiny fraction of what’s available in this world.

I know I haven’t even begun to tap into everything I could learn, but I know I’ll continue to learn and grow as long as I’m here on Earth. Knowledge is power, but it’s only truly useful when you put it into practice. And if you’re not willing to learn, no one can help you. But if you’re determined to learn, no one can stop you.

41 - Life is easier when you stop comparing yourself to others

Oh my gosh, I wish they taught this to kids at school. For me, it hit home when I heard these Bon Jovi lyrics, from their song “I Believe”: “Don’t look up on your movie screens, in record stores or magazines. Close your eyes and you will see that you are all you really need.”

I’m a massive Bon Jovi fan - they’re by far my favourite band - and those words from this lesser-known song are etched into my brain. They taught me to stop comparing myself to others.

This is my life I’m living. I’m never going to wake up in someone else’s shoes, never going to have different parents, be a different height, look completely different, or have a wildly different personality. This is me - who I am - and it’s up to me to make the best of the cards I’ve been given. More importantly, I need to learn to love myself, flaws and all.

Comparison is seriously the fastest way to feel unhappy. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Bryant McGill also noted that comparison is always the beginning of the death of self-love. So do your best to refrain from comparing yourself to others.

If you have to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to who you were, and who you want to become - and get to work on making it happen.

42 - Assume the best from people

Even though I’ve already mentioned that not everyone in this world will be as nice as you, that doesn’t mean we can’t assume the best from people. I’ve found this works best for me, because when you look for the good, you’ll usually find some good, and when you look for the bad, you’ll usually find some bad. Why not assume the best from people rather than the worst?

You can assume people are doing their best, even if that version of best looks different from your own idea. You can choose to look at them without judgement, give them the benefit of the doubt.

This doesn’t mean you’ll never be disappointed by others - chances are you will be. But holding this philosophy, especially with family and friends, sets a more optimistic scene.

Your interactions are more likely to be positive when they come from love and a desire to understand, rather than defensiveness. And I’d personally rather assume the best of people and be wrong, than assume the worst of people and be wrong about that.

43 - Everything you want is on the other side of fear

I could talk on and on about the importance of feeling the fear and doing it anyway, but when I heard this quote last year, my mind exploded from the wisdom it held.

The sad truth is, most of us will never know what’s on the other side of fear, because we’re too scared, too timid, too nervous, too anxious, or too lazy to step outside our comfort zone.

We let fear hold us back - scared of what lies on the other side, even if it’s the most amazing version of ourselves. What if everything you want really is on the other side of fear? What if you kept moving forward, despite the fear you feel inside? Fear is an emotion that keeps us stuck and robs us of the opportunities that lie in our future.

I’ve found that when I look fear in the face and decide to take action despite it, it simply disappears - I realise it wasn’t some terrible monster holding me back. Only I can hold myself back. Only I can move myself forward, because fear is just a state of mind, nothing more and nothing less.

As W. Clement Stone once said, “Thinking will not overcome fear, only action will.” Action always cures fear, so I encourage you to tap into the courage sitting inside you, waiting to be embraced every day of your life. Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid - courage means you don’t let that fear stop you.

44 - We aren’t always right, even when we think we are

I still struggle with this one, and it’s a lesson I need to remind myself of regularly - because while it’s true, we don’t always like to face it. Even though we may think we’re right, it doesn’t mean other people will always agree with us.

So much of what we believe is coloured by our own experiences, beliefs, and values. We think we’re right, and the other person thinks they’re right - what if we’re both right in our own way?

We need to remember that humans have free agency and free will, and we’re all entitled to our own opinions. It doesn’t matter how strongly you feel about something, even if there are “facts” to back you up - someone else could find facts to back up their own opinions and beliefs too. We need to be open to the possibility that we could be wrong about some things.

What would it feel like to admit you could be wrong? Why are we so attached to needing to feel right all the time? Could we just agree to disagree instead? Our version of reality is coloured by the expectations we hold about this world. Our right could be someone else’s wrong - and guess what, that’s okay.

Part of being a healthy, functioning human is understanding that we could sometimes be wrong in the eyes of others, and no amount of rationalising, explaining, or justifying will make our truth their truth too. So be brave enough to accept this lesson - that we could be wrong sometimes.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting you made a mistake, that you’ve discovered evidence showing things in a different light, or that there are multiple ways of viewing the same scenario.

45 - Age is just a number

I don’t think I really believed it when I was young, hearing older people say, “Oh, I feel so young inside.” But now that I’m officially middle-aged - I think most people would agree 45 counts - I know this is true.

Inside, you still feel young even though you’re wiser. Even though I don’t look like a teenager anymore, I can still vividly remember some of those feelings from high school.

I still sometimes feel 20-something inside, even though decades have passed. And I imagine that as I get older, though my body might change, my mind and soul will continue to feel young at heart, as though suspended in time.

The only times I’ve ever felt old are when I’ve temporarily stopped learning, and therefore stopped growing - but age itself is just a number. I’ve met people who are young but seem old and rigid in their thinking, and older people who are so young at heart. That really is because age is just a number.

How we feel inside isn’t always reflected in how we look on the outside, and this becomes more evident the more years pass. Other people in this world feel exactly the same way as you. Their passage through time may grant them wisdom they didn’t have in their earlier years, but inside, they may still hold onto that feeling of eternal youth, tightly, for the rest of their years on Earth.

And so there you have it - 45 lessons I’ve learned in my first 45 years of life.

Quick summary:

1. Life is short and time is precious

2. We all have a special gift

3. Your dreams don’t just fall into your lap

4. Holidays are worth the investment

5. Travel opens your eyes to the beauty of the world around us

6. It’s better to do something and regret it than regret not doing it at all

7. It’s true what they say - you only have 18 summers with your kids

8. Family is everything

9. Great friends are priceless

10. Grief is the price we pay for love

11. You may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince

12. Love yourself first

13. It’s okay to be different

14. Stop caring what other people think

15. Not everyone you meet will be as nice as you

16. You teach people how to treat you

17. Set clear boundaries

18. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself

19. Be open

20. Enjoy your youth but plan for the future

21. Good health is your greatest wealth

22. People deserve a second chance

23. Change is inevitable

24. Trust your intuition

25. Everything has a consequence

26. When in doubt, don’t

27. You feel better wearing an outfit you love

28. You don’t always get what you wish for

29. Flexibility will save you a lot of grief

30. It’s not hard to be kind

31. Less is more

32. Patience is a virtue

33. Pain and discomfort is temporary

34. Most of the things we worry about don’t happen

35. Some sacrifice is necessary in life

36. You don’t need alcohol to have fun

37. People aren’t mind-readers

38. Sometimes it’s best to bite your tongue

39. The secret to getting things done is taking baby steps

40. There’s always more to know, so never stop learning

41. Life is easier when you stop comparing yourself to others

42. Assume the best from people

43. Everything you want is on the other side of fear

44. We aren’t always right, even when we think we are right

45. Age is just a number

I’m sure I could have added plenty more life lessons to this list - it’s not a definitive summary of everything I’ve learned. These were simply the first 45 that came to mind, and as I keep learning and growing through life, I know I’ll have so much more to add in the future.

With love,

Frances xxx

Ready to go deeper?

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A NOTE FROM FRANCES

After graduating with a degree in psychology and launching my life coaching business back in 2001, I’ve spent the last two decades helping women think better, achieve their dreamy goals and actually savour their one precious life.

In 2018 I launched InspiringMomLife.com, which has since welcomed over 10 million readers.

I’m also the author of 25+ books and creator of 100+ digital courses designed to help women achieve meaningful goals without sacrificing their soul or sanity in the process.

You can explore them all inside Inspiring Life Academy.

These days I live in Sydney, Australia with my husband, kids, dogs, and a never-ending stack of books within reach.

My hope for this space is simple. It’s to help you:

Wake up, do what matters and savour it all.

Introducing Your Richer Life Pep Talks

Think of these weekly coaching audios as your pocket-sized coach, cheerleader, and confidante all rolled into one.

These aren’t just feel-good words - they’re deeper coaching for the very real, very common roadblocks that show up while you’re working toward your dreamy goals.

So whether you’re doubting yourself, navigating a hard day, or simply need a boost of courage, you can press play every week and find words that will lift you up when you’re down and push you forward when you feel stuck.

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❅ Get Out of Your Own Way - twice-monthly lessons and bonus implementation PDF guides to help you overcome overthinking, self-doubt, and self-sabotage

❅ LIGHTER: The Next Chapter - a monthly behind-the-scenes series where I explore what it means to feel lighter - physically, mentally, emotionally, and energetically - sharing the experiments, lessons, setbacks, and wins as they happen.

And now with weekly coaching drops to help you think better and live a richer, lighter life while pursuing dreamy goals all year round. 🙌🏻

THIS WEEK’S COACHING PEP TALK:

When Jealousy Or Envy Creeps In

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