Never before have we had such extensive access to others. We can observe someone’s life from thousands of miles away, reconnect with past acquaintances, and discover communities centered on niche interests or experiences. Despite these connections, many still feel deeply lonely and empty.

Has social media connected us, or has it changed what connection means?

It can’t be all or nothing — all good or all bad. Social media is neither entirely good nor entirely destructive. It is a tool, though one that has become so deeply intertwined with identity, self-worth, relationships, politics, education, and even how we experience our lives.

It requires discernment and balance so that we can be open to the beauty of social media.

The Gift: Connection We Didn’t Have Before

We are able to connect with loved ones across distance, which is unbelievable if you stop to think about that - no more letters and long waits to hear from someone we miss.

There is a community for everything and everyone, and it becomes far more accessible online. Join and meet others going through similar trials and tribulations or who share the same hobbies and interests.

Learning about emotions, parenting, nutrition, politics, science, anatomy, faith, you name it - it’s accessible.

You can start a small business and make money on social media.

Join social movements and collective awareness by connecting with others online.

People meet their partners and lifelong friends online.

And most importantly, people have learned that they are not alone and that they are “not the only one”.

When Sharing Becomes Performative

Some share an experience; others perform an experience.

Some questions to ponder: Are we enjoying moments, or documenting them? Do we choose experiences partly because they will look good online? What happens when private moments become content? When does authenticity itself become another performance?

Then: The vacation isn’t just a vacation anymore. The relationship isn’t just a relationship. The meal isn’t just a meal. The accomplishment isn’t complete until it has been witnessed.

The Validation Economy

We want to be seen. We want confirmation that we matter.

Do you find yourself comparing your real life to others’ curated lives? Do you delete posts because they didn’t receive enough likes and/or views?

Do you truly feel known by the people who follow you on social media? Being visible is not the same as being known.

Often, the trade-off is surface-level relationships with others and with ourselves.

The instant hit of dopamine and validation we receive from interacting with a stranger or acquaintance dilutes the depth of who you truly are and the recognition you deserve.

Fraudulent Lives

Filters, editing, selective storytelling, and exaggeration all make for a great clip. Almost everyone curates a life; I am not exempt.

We don’t necessarily post: the argument, the loneliness, the rejection, the debt, the tears, etc.

The issue is not that people are lying. It’s that we only show the parts of ourselves that we can tolerate being seen by the public.

When you have lived long enough, you can see through this and understand that life is not perfect. In fact, the messy and ugly parts of ourselves make us most beautiful. So why don’t we share more of them?

When We Start Living Through Other People’s Eyes

Who would you be if no one could see it?

Would you still travel to Bali and Tulum? Would you still wear that outfit? Would you still have that same opinion? Would you still eat that way?

Our subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is true and what is false, so it believes whatever you think and say, even if you are pretending someone else’s truth is yours.

Whatever you are consuming becomes part of you and your personhood. So, choose carefully.

The Darker Side: Comparison, Envy, Isolation

I couldn’t be more grateful I wasn’t in middle school when social media began; I truly cannot imagine the pressure.

The pressure to constantly improve, achieve, look better, travel more, earn more, eat better, and become more interesting is overwhelming and unrealistic. Especially for a young mind still developing and exploring who it is.

There are so many things to navigate: social comparison, fear of missing out, doomscrolling, parasocial relationships, feeling behind in life, and information overload.

Everyone else appears to be living, while you are sitting on your couch watching them live. The reality is, they are probably also sitting on their couch watching someone else too.

Because let’s be real, nothing is more natural or more inauthentic than setting up your camera to capture a moment that should be sacred and personal.

I doomscroll, get tricked with AI videos, contemplate others’ opinions, form opinions; I am not exempt; I have social media.

But Then There’s the Other Side

Social media can also be great!

It’s for the grieving person finding a community and others that understand. Someone learning about a diagnosis they didn’t know existed. A small business finding customers/clients. An artist finding an audience. The isolated parent finding support at 2 am. A community organizing around something special and important. A person in a small town realizing there is so much more out there.

Confidence Baby

In my humble opinion, it is crucial to cultivate confidence before creating social media profiles. This includes accepting oneself and investing effort in developing emotional intelligence.

When we are certain in ourselves, the opinion of others is not so heavy or considered.

An aligned person is a powerful person.

Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

From my heart to yours, thank you for being here.

I have experienced many chapters of life; living over four decades offers that beauty. Some, I smile at, some I cry, and others, I cringe.

I have been versions of myself that I can’t even fathom who that person was.

My perceptions and opinions about the world have dramatically shifted. How I show up in spaces and around people has changed. How I view the world has changed.

How I handle disappointment, criticism, and heartbreak has changed.

Some chapters in my story are traumatic, sad, and scary.

Overconsumption of drugs and alcohol, putting myself in unsafe situations, and accepting behaviors and people in my life that were unacceptable. However, with that also came fun, excitement, new people, and new experiences.

Some chapters in my story are beautiful, blissful, and humbling. Amazing relationships, traveling the world, and having fulfilling jobs.

All of it - the good, the bad, and the ugly - has shaped me. I am grateful for it all.

People Change

It’s common to hear, “people don’t change”, especially when referring to ‘bad’ behaviors.

I disagree. It’s all we are ever doing - changing. Some change for the better if lessons are chosen to be learned; some change for the worse when those lessons are ignored.

Personally, I have felt a shift and change every 5-7 years. I support this belief by noting that there is something compelling about the number seven.

Across cultures, religions, philosophy, and esoteric traditions, seven appears again and again, not as proof of a hidden law of the universe, but as a symbol people have long used to describe completeness, transition, and cycles of growth.

In Ancient Greece, Hippocrates wrote that human life unfolds in seven-year stages. It was observed that people often experienced physical and psychological shifts approximately every 7 years.

Something like:

Birth - 7: childhood, 7-14: education. 14-21: adolescence, 21-28: adulthood, and so on.

The founder of Waldorf education, Rudolf Steiner, expanded on this idea. Every 7 years corresponds to a different developmental focus.

Something like:

0-7: learning through imitation, building trust, development of body. 7-14: imagination, emotion, and belonging. 14-21: identity, independence, purpose. 21-28: finding your place in the world, career, and relationships. 28-35: questioning who you’ve become, redefining success. And so on…

Every shift you may feel yourself reflecting on a version of yourself you had to say goodbye to. The person who once felt familiar no longer exists in quite the same way.

Our beliefs evolve. Our relationships shift. Our nervous system learns. Our grief softens. Our priorities change.

Because living changes us.

Currently in a Change

In full transparency, I am in a cocoon. Again.

I am changing, again.

Sitting in the discomfort and forming new wings.

And it makes sense: I am ending a chapter and beginning a new one.

I feel sad at times, drained, confused, disconnected, and lost.

My perception of myself, the world, and the people around me has changed. And it feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar. I miss my old self in many ways.

However, because I have been through a great shift before, I sit with the stickiness and know that I am coming out the other side wiser, more aware, and more settled.

I know both can exist - sadness and happiness, grief and acceptance.

I no longer fight change like I once did in my 20s and early 30s. I no longer grasp to people, things, and feelings. And because of that change, I am more prepared for this one.

What I am trying to say is, we all change - everything changes; that is the only way.

Reflection

If you are approaching the end of a seven-year season, ask yourself:

1. What have I outgrown?

2. What part of me has quietly emerged?

3. What beliefs no longer fit?

4. What relationships have shaped this chapter?

5. If the next seven years began today, what values would I want to carry forward, and what would I be leaving behind?

We are in an ever-unfolding of life. We either ride the wave of change or get sucked underneath it all, becoming shells of our former selves with nowhere for the wisdom to go.

Ride the wave.

From my heart to yours, thank you for being here.

What does it mean to “be a good person”?

For me, it involves considering others and the world around you before yourself. While it’s important to prioritize ourselves sometimes, the world ultimately needs more empathy.

This can be difficult, as it requires pausing and trying to see things from someone else’s perspective. Perception shapes reality, and since we often perceive differently, building empathy can be quite challenging if it does not come naturally.

I often feel torn between loving everyone and disdaining humankind. This internal struggle helps me approach others with compassion and seek to understand their actions. I recognize that our upbringing, along with trauma, loss, and pain, all influence our personalities.

Personalities are learned and formed, though. We are not our personalities; we are so much more than our feelings, thoughts, and characteristics. We are a soul, pure and Divine.

Be a Good Person

Being a good person happens when no one is watching.

It’s not performative; it’s not for external validation.

If every good deed is done with the intent to post or share with others, it’s a performance, not kindness.

How do we consciously know whether we are being kind or filling an insecure void with validation?

If nobody knew you did it, would you still do it? Kindness tends to survive anonymity.

How do you feel when it’s not reciprocated? Feeling disappointed is human, but if you feel angry, invisible, or rejected, it may indicate that part of you was hoping the act would meet an emotional need.

Are you giving what they need, or what you need? Sometimes we offer advice because we want to feel useful or support because we feel needed. True kindness asks, “What serves this person?” Validation seeking often asks, “What does this interaction say about me?”

SOME Ways to Be a Good Person

With yourself

Learn to regulate your emotions so others don’t have to carry them for you.

Apologize when you’ve caused harm, without immediately defending yourself.

Let your actions match your values, both privately and publicly.

Do what you say you’re going to do.

Stay curious instead of assuming the worst. Be willing to have difficult conversations.

Don’t hide behind spirituality, religion, or personal growth to avoid accountability.

Respect, love, and honor your physical, mental, and emotional bodies.

With Children

Give children your attention.

Offer guidance without needing control.

If you share children with someone you no longer love, choose your children’s well-being over your resentment.

Children learn more from how you behave than from words.

With Family and Friends

Call and check in on people.

Make time for people who matter.

Keep your word.

Be the friend who reaches out.

Forgive when you can and repair when it’s possible.

With Strangers

Treat people with dignity, even when you are upset.

Say hello to someone passing by.

A smile, a conversation, a meal, or a few dollars can remind someone they still matter. You don’t need to post about it.

Speak up when you see others being treated unfairly.

Help others without needing recognition.

With the Earth

Leave places better than you found them.

Pick up trash when you see it. You don’t need to post about it.

Consume thoughtfully.

Remember that future generations inherit what we leave behind.

With the World

Accept people for who they are instead of trying to reshape them into who you think they should be.

Practice compassion without abandoning discernment.

Contribute more than you take.

Remember that every person is carrying a story you cannot see.

Try, in whatever small ways you can, to leave the world a little gentler than you found it.

The World Needs More Kindness

None of us will do all of these things all of the time. Being a good person isn’t a destination - it’s a practice. It’s found in the small choices we make every day: how we treat people, how we care for ourselves, how we respond when we get it wrong, and how willing we are to keep showing up with honesty, compassion, and integrity.

The world needs more kindness, and it starts with ourselves.

From my heart to yours, thank you for being here.

There is a general understanding that religion and spirituality are similar yet distinct in certain ways. Both raise questions such as: why are we here, what happens when we die, how do we eliminate suffering, and how do we live well?

Both address morality, offer comfort during grief, and provide meaning.

Religion is organized and communal, emphasizing tradition, doctrine, structure, and leadership. Spirituality is personal and experiential, draws on multiple traditions, and emphasizes inner knowing.

Both are vulnerable to infiltration by misguided individuals with harmful intentions and can serve as habitats for predators. Both can be places where people heal, grow, and evolve.

What’s on My Heart

I grew up Catholic.

It was woven into my life in quiet and obvious ways: Sunday mass, making my sacraments, and the rhythm of tradition.

Catholicism is the epitome of tradition and ritual.

It taught me about devotion, about reverence, and faith - even if I didn’t always understand what this meant at the time.

Today, when I walk into a church, a pulsating energy overwhelms me. I want to cry, kneel, pray, and forgive. Church feels like a memory, like a special and sacred place.

There are aspects of organized religion that I deeply respect, such as community, ritual, and the reminder that life is not just about us. There is something powerful about gathering, praying, and feeling connected to something ancient and enduring.

There are also parts that have kept me away from organized religion, like strict rules, the money grabbers with bad intentions, and times when questioning didn’t feel accepted. In addition, I have noticed a level of hypocrisy that, yes, exists in all humans but appears far more often in organized religion.

I am not someone who fits easily into the “black and white.”

Over time, my journey has shifted from organized religion to personal spiritual exploration.

I began to experience something different through yoga, time in nature, and exploration of other faiths and beliefs.

For me, spirituality became less about the structure I knew and more about connection. Connection to my body and mind, my breath, and something greater than me. It was no longer about being told what to believe; it was about feeling it.

One Foot in Each World

Being told what to believe is not faith; you must also feel and live that belief for yourself to have any meaningful connection to the ideology.

There are still moments when I feel tension between these worlds - the traditions of my Catholic upbringing and my personal spiritual practice.

Teaching yoga. Holding space. Using language that invites people inward. Teaching an ancient, sacred practice that is often considered Henotheistic or Pantheistic, differing from the Monotheistic Catholicism.

And then… the part of me that grew up Catholic. The part of me that believes in Jesus and says small prayers to Saint Michael, the Archangel, for protection, and keeps rosary beads and a Bible next to my bed. The part of me that was taught that showing reverence to deities and other faiths and belief systems is sinful, wrong, and an abomination!

There is a quiet question that sometimes arises: Is this okay?

A kind of inner dialogue between tradition and expansion.

Faith

My journey through faith is lifelong. Faith encompasses a feeling, a belief, and a practice. Faith is a choice about how I live my life; everything I do, say, and choose results from my faith.

There is beauty in tradition and ritual. There is beauty in exploration.

“…the kingdom of God is within you.” - Luke 17:21

As humans, we interpret sacred scripture in ways that align with the narratives we wish to believe. The phrase “the kingdom of God is within you” can be understood in several ways: it may refer to an inner spiritual truth or to the living presence of God among people. Both interpretations can hold validity.

In Yogic philosophy, the purpose is not to become someone “new”; it’s to remove what is in the way of you recognizing your true self. Yoga is stilling the mind’s fluctuations to experience the inner “kingdom.”

My belief is that we find answers by going inward, quieting our minds, and confronting the uncomfortable realities of our lives.

Timeline of Ancient Scriptures

For context, the earliest written ancient scriptures date to the Vedic Period (1500-500 BCE). Prior to this, traditions were learned and passed down orally.

The Vedas are the oldest known sacred texts, which contain hymns, rituals, and chants. Then, the Upanishads (800-300 BCE) were a shift from ritual to inner inquiry - “You are That” (non-duality).

Following the Vedic Period comes the Hebrew Scriptures (1200-400BCE) with the Hebrew Bible and the Old Testament.

Then the world experienced the Classical Spiritual Revolution with Buddhist Sutras, Tao Te Ching, and the Bhagavad Gita.

Early Christian Texts (0-200 CE) include the New Testament.

Islamic Texts followed with the Qur’an (600-700 CE).

Mystical and Philosophical Expansions (200-1400 CE) emerged across traditions, including Christian, Hindu, and Buddhist texts.

Across ALL traditions, there is a progression:

Ritual and Structure - Philosophy and Inquiry - Inner Experience.

Across history, spiritual texts move from outer structure to inner experience.

The Truth is Within

It’s interesting to me that many dismiss the most ancient sacred texts and choose one written 1,500 years later. This is why I believe there to be valuable truth in the Vedas and, in most sacred and spiritual scripture and text.

Humans have been asking the same spiritual questions for thousands of years, just in different languages.

The Kingdom of God is within you.

Your true Self is already whole and Divine.

Return inward, and remember who you are.

A Practice

Pause.

Take a slow breath in through your nose….and slowly out through your mouth.

Inhale through your nose. Pause. Exhale even slower and longer through your mouth.

For a moment, set aside everything you’ve been taught about spirituality - every belief, label, or idea.

Now bring your attention to something real:

Your breath.

Your body.

Your heartbeat.

No meaning. No interpretation. Just this:

What is true in my direct experience, right now?

Sit with that.

From my heart to yours, thank you for being here.

As I sit here at a cafe in Taurangi, New Zealand, quietly tucked away in the corner, watching everyone come and go, I am fascinated by humans.

Read more

Many contemplative traditions emphasize a deeper aspect of ourselves, a quieter presence that simply observes.

A part of us that observes the mind without becoming entangled in it or getting consumed by it.

We are not our thoughts; yet thoughts turn into things. We are not our feelings, yet we allow them to dictate our lives.

From a Yogic Lens

In yoga, being the "observer," Sakshi, means developing a detached, non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.

This observation of our lives allows us to be witnesses rather than entangled in the web of thoughts our minds like to weave. The ultimate goal is liberation, Moksha, in which the observer is no longer affected by the mind's fluctuations, enabling greater awareness and a deeper connection to our highest self. 

Our personality and ego navigate our day-to-day lives, but we are more than that. Beneath lies our higher self and consciousness, our true self, separate from the ego and personality.

From a Biblical Lens

Throughout the Bible, we see a consistent invitation toward watchfulness, self-examination, and attentiveness to the movements of the heart. There is an invitation to look honestly at our inner life rather than move through it unconsciously.

2 Corinthians 13:5

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in fatih; test yourselves.

1 Peter 5:8

Be sober-minded, be watchful.

This spiritual self-examination aims to cultivate awareness of our inner life. It involves observing our beliefs and behaviors, and assessing whether our lives align with our values.

While scripture doesn't explicitly refer to “the observer” as in mindfulness practices, it frequently encourages believers to remain vigilant and engage in self-reflection.

Paying attention to our inner life is not a new concept. It has long been acknowledged as a vital aspect of spiritual growth.

What’s on my Heart

Being human involves the interactions we have with others; our relationships and connections influence our personalities more than any of us probably wants to admit. We are, after all, social creatures by nature. We crave validation, acceptance, and a sense of belonging from others.

Due to that need, we often develop expectations and link others' mistakes to our self-worth. We tend to avoid responsibility for controlling and managing our emotions and to avoid being held accountable for them.

It’s easy to blame the world around us for our feelings. They did this to me, they lied to me, they cheated on me, they betrayed me, broke my trust, broke my heart, etc. The truth is, we can’t control how others show up for us, or how the world treats us; we can only control how we respond.

This sounds so simple, yet in practice, it is not easy. Even if someone truly betrays us and treats us poorly, the challenging practice of observing ourselves and finding a lesson from that is SO HARD.

Reclaiming this power each time your heart is broken and you are betrayed and dismissed by the world helps you trust yourself more, build resilience, and, most importantly, practice being the observer of your life rather than the victim.

I like to imagine a little me sitting on my shoulder, observing my life. When something feels heavy or like I don’t want to face it, I picture myself there - watching. Watching the interactions or situations unfold rather than being in them.

Then, I allow myself to experience the emotions related to the situation without becoming overwhelmed by them. I understand that emotions are signals from my body indicating something significant is occurring, and I can stay present with these feelings without letting them shape my identity.

I am not perfect friends, but this is something that helps me avoid getting too consumed by and attached to emotions.

Practice

We can cultivate this awareness of separation from our ego and mind in various ways. Through meditation, breathwork, and asana (physical practice of yoga).

“I Notice” Practice. This is simple and powerful.

Instead of: “I am anxious.”

Say internally: “I notice anxiety is present.”

Other examples: “ I notice frustration arising”, “I notice my mind replaying a conversation”, “I notice tension in my jaw”.

This shift reminds us that we are the awareness noticing the experience, not the experience itself.

Another important practice is to remember that we are all reflections of one another. Everyone has stories and experiences that shape their behaviors, which may not always be favorable. Cultivating compassion and understanding for others helps lessen the tendency to take things personally.

From my heart to yours, thanks for being here.

& why I want to share with you

I have always felt a strong urge to create space for truth, dialogue, and authenticity. As a child, I dreamed of being behind a radio microphone or an MTV VJ, where I could share stories, express ideas, and explore the unknown. As an adult, that calling has evolved into something quieter, deeper, and more connected.

The desire to communicate remains strong in my Gemini Rising heart, and what that looks like is constantly evolving, just as I am. I appreciate having deep conversations about the difficult aspects of life: grief, love, God, the afterlife, the world we live in, and any other profound topics. I learn best by teaching others, and I find inspiration in sharing knowledge.

In the Heart of This is a monthly offering from my heart, a small note of love. It’s a space to check in with yourself and the world around you. Here, you can engage in dialogue if you desire, or find reflection if that’s what you need.

Together, we’ll explore spirituality, God, consciousness, yoga, grief, and human habits. I hope to encourage contemplation, ignite honest conversations, and share small practices and reflections that resonate with you.

What’s on my Heart

As my birthday approached, I experienced a mix of emotions. I felt gratitude for the life I have lived, for where I’ve come from, and for the opportunity to continue living beyond many of those I have loved and known. I also felt sadness for all the past lives and chapters behind me and nostalgia for the lives I will never live and the possibilities that could have been.

Recognizing the versions of myself that were exciting, joyful, tragic, and everything in between is a gift.

I find happiness in the love I experience and in the opportunity to be alive.

As we age, life becomes increasingly precious. We begin to recognize just how delicate it truly is. Even when we are aware of this, it’s easy to become consumed by the everyday worries of life—balancing our energy, paying bills, navigating truth in an AI-centered world, maintaining relationships, and staying connected to our truths, beliefs, and values. Additionally, we must consider whether our personality is truly our own or a product of societal influences.

Underneath it all, what does your soul look like?

Many people seek to share their opinions and thoughts with others primarily to validate their own belief systems and to bring others into their experiences. Often, there is little actual conversation or genuine listening to understand different perspectives. Perception shapes reality, and each person’s reality is uniquely their own.

My intention is for this to be a space for reflection and dialogue. A pause in your day with something that you find meaningful and helpful. I hope to inspire you in an impactful way, and in return, your authenticity inspires my creativity.

In the Heart

One of the wonderful benefits of aging is the wisdom and knowledge we gain when we embrace it. We develop the ability to see beyond superficial appearances, connections, and things. We acquire intuition and reassurance that can only come from within. Ultimately, we learn to provide ourselves with validation, the best kind that doesn’t require us to perform for the outside world.

Friday the 13th

I was born 13 minutes before my twin sister, Carisa, on February 13th. I’m sending you this first note on Friday the 13th, my birthday. Each month on the 13th, you’ll receive a little hello from me.

Over the years, my perspective on life has evolved, changing my view of my birthday as well. However, I still feel a deep sense of gratitude for life today, especially when I remember that my sister does not have the privilege of growing older.

This note serves as a beginning and a way to honor life and loss. Writing helps me stay accountable, and I’m happy you’re here.

Through my experiences, studies, and curiosities, I have gained insights that I want to share with you as we enter this next chapter together.

Until next time, I want to leave you with something.

A Practice

Our breath is our guide and life force. It reminds us that we are alive, helps us heal, and regulates our nervous system. Returning to our breath during moments of sadness, anger, stress, frustration, or grief allows our nervous system to shift into the parasympathetic state, our rest-and-digest, calm response, and away from our fight-flight-freeze response.

I want to share two regular practices of mine with you.

1. Slowly inhale through your nose; slowly exhale through your mouth or nose.

Take a long, slow inhale through your nose into your belly first, then expand your rib cage, and a little more air into your heart space, then take an even longer exhale from your heart space, then ribs, and belly. When we exhale longer and more slowly than we inhale, it calms our nervous system.

You could count if it’s helpful. Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6-8 seconds.

2. Pause. Breathe. Reflect. Connect. “P.B.R.C.”

Whenever someone questions you about any decision, big or small, take a moment to pause, breathe, reflect, and reconnect with yourself. If you ever feel overwhelmed by intense emotions, pause, breathe, reflect, and reconnect.

Through The Living Organism Project, I learned this technique, which I use quite often. If you want to learn more, you can find more information about the movement directly or visit me at In the Heart of.

When we breathe into our diaphragm (belly), we help regulate our nervous system.

If your breath is shallow, your body thinks something is wrong.

Add sound (sigh, hum) when you need release.

Regulation is built through repetition, not intensity.

From my heart to yours, thank you for being here.

*This was written by me, not AI