Not less ambition.

Not less discipline.

Not less accountability.

Just.. a little more tomfoolery.

Somewhere along the way, we started confusing being serious about our work to being serious all the time. And I don’t believe those are the same thing.

I’ve spent more than a decade working in high performance environments. With professional athletes, chefs, executives, and people operating under an incredible amount of pressure.

One thing i’ve learned in that time is that the best environments have two things. Seriousness and silliness. They’re environments where people work their asses off and still know how to laugh.

Where someone can make a light hearted joke in the middle of a stressful day.

Where the chef is running at 110% but he is still smiling and his jovialness is lifting people up around him.

Where the head coach rides the line between accountability and being goofy with the players.

Where the person in charge doesn’t have to constantly remind everyone that they’re the person in charge.

That stuff all matters.

I’ve seen it firsthand. One of the programs i’m most proud of building during my time in Utah generated more than $170,000 in its first year of operation.

We had budgets, meetings, contracts, spreadsheets, and countless details to figure out.

But there was also an enormous amount of fun. Joking. Laughing. And I think that gets overlooked when we talk about success.

We love to tell the stories of success and pretend it is all discipline + sacrifice + execution. I will agree those are all essential pieces to the puzzle of success. But the other pieces - energy, personality, creating environments where people actually want to be there - these can be the separators between successful + empty and successful + fulfilled.

Because people remember how you make them feel. They remember the person who can make them laugh when things feel like their going sideways. They remember the chef who did a silly dance. They remember the leader who could take the work seriously without taking themselves too seriously.

Tomfoolery doesn’t mean you don’t care.

I think that is the most important distinction.

You can be incredibly ambitious and still be playful.

You can demand excellence and still crack jokes.

You can care deeply about your craft without making your whole identity be about how hard you work.

But there is a time and place for tomfoolery.

This is important.

I’m not suggesting you walk into a championship game wearing your halloween costume and start doing the cha cha slide in the locker room.

There are times to be serious. There are times to lock in. There are times when other people are counting on you to bring your absolute best.

Proper execution of tomfoolery requires awareness.

I learned this working in professional sports. You must know your environment. You must read the room. You have to understand the moment.

Sometimes the moment calls for complete professionalism.

Other times?

The moment might call for a hotel bathrobe.

I remember on a work trip wearing my robe down to breakfast one morning. (Clothes underneath, obviously).

But it was not a game day.

It wasn’t a practice day.

There was not an important meeting happening.

It was a player off day.

And that felt like a perfectly appropriate time for a little tomfoolery.

That is the distinction. I’m not advocating for always being the goofy guy. I’m advocating for knowing when you can be.

Because part of being a good teammate, leader, chef, parent, friend, or colleague is understanding what the moment requires.

Know when to lock in.

Know when to lighten up.

Know the difference.

And when you’ve got a little room to breathe?

Put on the robe.

Life is too short to spend every breakfast fully buttoned up.

— Anthony Zamora & the IPG Team

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Anthony Zamora is a Registered Dietitian + Chef, Founder of I Got More Co., and IPG Nutrition and Performance Partner

It was one of those opportunities that still feels like it came out of nowhere, and I’ll forever be indebted to the people who made it possible.

I was there with MTN OPS, a company I’ve been fortunate to serve as a mental health advisor. Their CEO, Trevor Farnes, was a huge reason I was able to go. And if you know me, it was pretty close to the perfect storm of a trip: archery hunting, humanitarian work, great food, and a lot of laughs with good people.

I loved all of it.

But strangely enough, that’s not what I’ve thought about most since coming home.

We stayed near Somerset East, a rural community in South Africa’s Eastern Cape, where I was introduced to the Jordaan family and the work being done through GF4GF—Good Foundations for Good Fruit.

The challenges facing many young people in this part of the world are significant: poverty, limited resources and opportunities, broken systems, and generational patterns that can be incredibly difficult to escape.

I want to be careful here. I don’t believe we should romanticize any of that. Hardship isn’t inherently good for kids. Poverty isn’t a developmental strategy. Young people everywhere deserve safety, opportunity, education, healthcare, and stable systems.

But in the middle of some incredibly difficult circumstances, I witnessed something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

People were being incredibly intentional about building good foundations.

The Jordaan family has dedicated much of their lives to this work. Through GF4GF, young adults are brought into an environment where they live in community, receive education and mentorship, learn practical skills, work, serve, and eventually begin leading others.

GF4GF describes its work as developing not only skills, but “the person behind the skill.”

I love that.

Because more than a year later, back home and spending my days around students, athletes, coaches, and parents, I keep coming back to what I saw there.

Here in America, we have access to resources many parts of the world could only dream of—more technology, training, information, opportunities, and experts. And yet, a lot of our young people are struggling.

We also spend an incredible amount of energy focusing on the fruit: wins, stats, scholarships, grades, rankings, college admissions, followers, achievement.

None of those things are inherently bad. But maybe we’ve become so focused on producing better outcomes that we occasionally forget to ask what kind of foundation those outcomes are growing from.

Because good fruit has always depended on good roots.

When I look at what developmental science continues to tell us about helping young people grow—and then think about what I watched happening halfway around the world—three things keep coming back to me:

Connection. Contribution. Agency.

Connection

Before young people need another strategy, program, trainer, app, or motivational speech, they need people.

They need people who know them. People who notice when something is off. People who can challenge them without withdrawing love. People who stay.

Research on youth development consistently identifies safe, stable, supportive relationships as important protective factors in a young person’s life. Strong relationships with parents, coaches, teachers, mentors, and peers help create the security and belonging from which kids can grow.

It sounds almost too simple: kids need to know they belong somewhere.

I saw this in South Africa. Yes, GF4GF provides education and opportunities, but they also create community. People eat together, work together, serve together, learn together, struggle together—and then get up and do it again tomorrow.

There was a closeness to it that was hard to miss.

It made me wonder if this is one place our culture occasionally gets youth development backward.

We can become so focused on improving kids that we forget the power of simply being with them. We correct, coach, evaluate, schedule, track, compare, and optimize. All of those things have their place. But sometimes what a young person desperately needs is an adult who communicates something much simpler:

I see you. I enjoy you. And your value here isn’t dependent on how you perform.

For parents and coaches, that leaves us with an important question: If the grades, stats, rankings, and trophies disappeared tomorrow, would this kid still know exactly how I feel about them?

And athletes, this applies to you too.

Find your people. The teammate who tells you the truth. The coach you trust. The parent you can talk to. The teacher who sees something in you.

Then become that person for somebody else.

Strength isn’t learning to need nobody. A lot of strength is knowing who you can lean on—and becoming someone others can lean on too.

Contribution

This might have been the part that impacted me most.

The young people I met weren’t treated only as recipients of help. They were expected to become contributors.

They worked, served, learned, taught, helped their peers, and developed skills that could eventually benefit their families and communities. GF4GF’s GoodYear program actually builds community contribution into the experience.

That matters.

Because young people don’t only need to hear you matter. They need opportunities to discover that what I do matters too.

Developmental research increasingly points to the importance of contribution during adolescence—the opportunity to help others, take meaningful roles, develop purpose, and know that other people actually benefit from your presence.

And I wonder if, with the very best of intentions, we’ve made this harder for some of our kids.

Many young people have become consumers of their own development. Adults organize the team, schedule the lessons, communicate with the coach, carry the equipment, solve the conflict, email the teacher, and figure out what comes next.

The kid just keeps showing up.

We do this because we love our kids and want to help them. Naturally, we try to make life easier.

But sometimes we may remove the very experiences that teach a young person:

I can do hard things. People are counting on me. I have something valuable to offer. My life isn’t only about me.

Kids need responsibility—not crushing responsibility or adult problems dumped onto young shoulders, but age-appropriate, meaningful responsibility.

That might mean chores or a job. Helping a younger sibling. Serving someone who can’t repay them. Taking care of their own equipment. Helping coach younger kids. Welcoming the new teammate. Cleaning the dugout without being asked. Calling Grandma. Doing something useful simply because it needs to be done.

Coaches can create this too. Think about the roles on your team that have nothing to do with who scores the most points. Who welcomes the new kid? Who brings energy when practice sucks? Who checks on the teammate having a hard week? Who takes care of the locker room? Who makes the group better?

Those things matter.

And athletes, when you notice yourself getting consumed with playing time, stats, recognition, or what you’re getting from the experience, try asking a different question:

Who can I help today?

Sometimes one of the best ways out of ourselves is through service to somebody else.

Agency

The third thing I kept noticing was ownership.

The goal of GF4GF isn’t to create young people who forever depend on GF4GF. It’s the opposite. They’re trying to develop capable young adults who can increasingly lead themselves—and eventually lead other people.

That distinction is huge.

Because good development shouldn’t create dependence.

It should increase capacity.

This matters tremendously in youth sports and parenting right now.

One of the most established ideas in motivation research is that young people benefit from environments that support appropriate autonomy while still providing structure, expectations, and guidance.

Kids need adults. They also need opportunities to increasingly own their lives.

Autonomy doesn’t mean kids run the show. It doesn’t mean removing standards or that parents stop parenting and coaches stop coaching. It means we gradually transfer appropriate responsibility to the young person.

Instead of always telling, ask.

Instead of immediately fixing, coach.

Instead of controlling every outcome, teach them how to respond to it.

This may be one of the hardest parts of parenting and coaching because sometimes watching a kid struggle is much harder than solving the problem for them.

We know the answer. We know what the coach needs to hear. We know how to send the email. We know how to fix the situation.

And sometimes we should step in.

But sometimes we need to resist the urge because appropriate struggle, with support nearby, is one of the places competence gets built.

So when your athlete has a bad game, maybe you don’t need to provide the five-point breakdown on the drive home. Maybe you ask:

What did you notice? What did you learn? What do you want to work on? What do you think your next step is?

And then listen.

Research in youth sport points in this same direction. Autonomy-supportive parenting and coaching—giving athletes appropriate voice, listening to their perspective, providing choices when possible, and helping them take ownership—has been associated with healthier motivation and more positive sport experiences.

Athletes, this is yours too.

Pack your stuff. Communicate with your coach. Ask questions. Own your preparation. Take care of your body. Learn from mistakes. Ask for help when you need it.

Your parents and coaches should support you.

But little by little, your life has to become yours.

Good Foundations

I came home from South Africa incredibly grateful.

Grateful to MTN OPS and to Trevor Farnes for helping make the opportunity possible. Grateful to the Jordaan family for opening their home, their community, and their lives to us. And incredibly grateful to God for an opportunity that, looking back, changed the trajectory of my life more than I understood at the time.

I went expecting an adventure, and I definitely got one.

But I also came home thinking differently about people, service, community, what it means to help somebody grow, and especially about how we develop young people.

The lesson isn’t that South Africa has youth development figured out and America doesn’t. Of course not. The circumstances, cultures, resources, opportunities, and challenges are incredibly different.

But some truths about human development travel pretty well.

Young people need connection. They need contribution. They need agency.

Maybe our job isn’t to eliminate every hard thing from their path. Maybe it’s to make sure they have good people walking beside them, meaningful reasons to contribute along the way, and enough ownership to discover that they are capable of navigating hard things themselves.

For those of us raising, coaching, teaching, or working with young people, there are a few questions worth sitting with:

Does this young person feel deeply known—or mostly evaluated?

What am I still doing for them that they’re ready to begin doing for themselves?

And maybe the biggest one:

If we stripped away the rankings, resumes, followers, scholarships, grades, and trophies… what kind of human are we helping them become?

Eventually, the season ends. The uniform comes off. The grades stop mattering quite so much.

And the world needs more than accomplished young people.

It needs connected, capable people who know how to contribute.

Maybe we need to spend a little less time managing the fruit and a little more time tending to the roots.

Connection. Contribution. Agency.

Good foundations tend to produce good fruit.

—Dallas and the IPG Team

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During my run, I noticed a small donut shop called Monarch Donuts. I thought it would be a nice gesture to buy donuts for the athlete I was coaching and his dad before the camp started.

When I walked up to the counter, I noticed a sign that read, Cash Only—something I almost never carry. As I apologized and turned to leave, the owner stopped me. He began telling me about his mother and grandmother and then smiled and said, “The donuts are on me today.”

It wasn’t just the free donuts that stuck with me. It was the way he treated people. He was kind, genuine, and completely focused on serving others.

Curious about his story, I later looked him up and found several articles about the owner, Johnathan Ung. His shop opens at 5:00 a.m. and often sells out by 8:00 a.m. Customers rave about his apple fritters and donuts, but what stood out to me most wasn’t his success—it was his philosophy.

He said,

“Every day, I only listen to my dearest beautiful God. I live because of my beautiful grandma so that I can honor my purpose, which is my beautiful mom and family every day while they’re alive.”

Then he shared the motto of his business:

“People first. Donuts second. Money third.”

Those were the exact words he told me that morning.

If you’re ever in Arcadia, California, Monarch Donuts is worth the stop—not just because the donuts are great, but because you’ll experience someone living out what matters most to him.

Another story that has stayed with me comes from a podcast on the Paradigm Shifting Books Instagram page featuring Stephen Covey interviewing his father, Stephen M. R. Covey.

The Coveys are wonderful people and dear friends of mine.

During the conversation, Stephen M. R. Covey discussed the difference between primary success and secondary success.

Primary success is becoming the kind of person you want to be. It’s developing qualities such as integrity, trust, service, honesty, and strong character.

Secondary success includes things like promotions, championships, higher salaries, awards, recognition, and titles.

His point was simple:

When we focus on becoming the right kind of person, many forms of secondary success naturally follow.

I recently listened to Utah State Head Football Coach Bronco Mendenhall describe the culture he has intentionally built throughout his coaching career.

It isn’t surprising that he is one of the winningest active coaches in college football.

His programs aren’t built solely around winning games. They’re built around developing people.

He talks about developing student-athletes academically, serving others, embracing difficult work, becoming mentally and physically tough, and growing into quality young men. Football is certainly important, but it is built upon deeper values that shape the everyday habits and behaviors of the program.

Championship cultures rarely happen by accident. They are built through consistent behaviors that reflect shared values.

So what do all three of these stories have in common?

Each one illustrates the power of living according to your values.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) defines values as chosen life directions that give meaning to our behavior.

Goals and values often get confused, but they are very different.

A goal might be:

Win a state championship.

A value might be:

Compete courageously.

Goals can be achieved or missed.

Values can be lived every single day.

Winning a championship is not completely within your control.

Choosing courage, discipline, gratitude, or resilience always is.

Research consistently shows that when people align their daily actions with their values, they are more likely to persist through adversity, stay engaged, regulate emotions more effectively, and develop the habits that support high performance. Values don’t guarantee success, but they consistently point us toward the behaviors that make success more likely.

Johnathan Ung built a thriving business because he lived his values.

Stephen M. R. Covey described this as primary success.

Bronco Mendenhall builds football programs around it.

Different settings. Different people.

The same principle.

I’d like to leave you with a simple exercise that has had a meaningful impact on many of the athletes and clients I’ve worked with.

I first came across it in Justin Su’a’s book Parent Pep Talks: The Ten Mental Skills Your Child Must Have to Perform Well in School, Sports, & Life.

Imagine a banquet is being held in your honor.

Your family is there.

Your closest friends.

Your coaches.

Your teammates.

Your mentors.

One by one, they stand and describe what made you special.

Ask yourself:

• What would I want them to say about me?

• How do I want to be remembered?

• What kind of person do I hope I became?

If you take this exercise seriously, your answers will begin to reveal your values.

Once you know your values, you can identify behaviors that reflect them.

Those behaviors become habits.

Those habits shape your character.

And over time, that character influences your performance—not just in sports, but in every area of life.

My hope is that you will spend less time chasing outcomes and more time becoming the kind of person you want to be. Because when your daily actions consistently reflect what matters most, you’ll discover something bigger than success.

You’ll discover purpose.

— Zach Van Leeuwen (ZVL) and the IPG Team

Coaching the skill, strategy, or tactical parts of sport can vary widely depending on what sport you teach. But the mental side of performance is actually quite similar. From ski lifts to dugouts, beach courts to horse arenas, every athlete and every sport works on many of the same primary principals for mental performance. Here are a few of those principals that cross over:

EVERY ATHLETE USES ENERGY TO FUEL THEIR SPORT

Our energy fuels what we do. Not just our physical energy, but our mental and emotional energy too. We often see the most decorated athletes as stoic, strong, unbreakable, and unemotional in competition. But that isn’t always the case. What we don’t see is practiced emotional regulation in high pressure situations, trained reps in imagery and visualization, assessing risk, and having the ability toconvert the natural physiological responses of stress and risk into usable fuel for their sport.

Coaches often use military metaphors – even though sport isn’t an actual battle – but our bodies might respond in the same way. Why? Because under stress, or extreme stress, our bodies are sending us information. Depending on our background and context, we may deal with this relatively easily, or we may really struggle to gain our composure.

In her book, Flying in the Face of Fear, by former fighter pilot and retired Air Force Colonel Kim “KC” Cambell (the KC stands for Killer Chic), KC details the moment she successfully recovered her battle-damaged airplane from an intense close air support mission over Baghdad. After her A-10 is hit with enemy fire, her body responds immediately, “My heart rate races and my adrenaline pumps. I am breathing rapidly against the pressure of my oxygen mask, and my mouth is going dry with the increase in oxygen flow” (Campbell 94).

With the hydraulic gauges at zero and the aircraft plunging to the ground, KC must assess and decide quickly, “Ejection handles? No, not yet. The last thing I want to do is eject into the hands of the enemy. I need to make every second count. I set aside my fear, engage the backup emergency system, and regain control of the airplane. I am flooded with relief as the jet starts responding to my inputs and begins to climb up and away from Baghdad. For the first time, I think I might make it out of here alive” (Campbell 94). The energy hiding behind our fear might be the difference between freezing and taking action; on the court, that is.

EVERY SPORT USES SOME FORM OF SELF-TALK

If you have ever spoken to a cross-country runner or biker, you know there is often a constant dialogue between the ears. Hours of training, often alone and without music, give permission for the mind tohave a field day. At the other extreme, sports with shorter, breaks to think may lend themselves to a different kind of self-talk. Not the conversational kind, but the more accusatory and shaming kind. You know, those sneaky, uninvited, quick one-liners we whisper to ourselves at the absolutely worst times!

But there’s hope. First, we need to remember the points about energy we introduced in the last paragraph. Our bodies are remarkable communicators. To craft a usable language for performance, we need to get good at translating what our bodies are telling us and find the source of those messages we seem to keep repeating. Research finds that most of what we tell ourselves didn’t just show up spontaneously. In fact, there’s usually an initial source behind where it comes from, and the good news is that we can change it.

Translation. You don’t have to speak to yourself like the worst coach you had in middle school gym class. Language development psychologist, Lev Vygotsky, studied the connection between language development and self-control in children. He noted that young children can have “full-blown, unprompted conversations with themselves. This wasn’t just play or imagination, it was a sign on neural and emotional growth,” (Kross 11). So, talking to ourselves as kids was a way to learn new things, new ideas and even give language to help us understand our big emotions. Actual emotion words, however, would come later in development by way of outside forces such as, you guessed it – parents, coaches, caregivers, and even that middle school gym teacher all influence the way we communicate our emotional inner state.

In his book, Chatter, Ethan Kross says that for young children to manage their big emotions, they first internalize messages from parents and caregivers and practice them audibly. As language develops, kids move these messages to silent speech as internal dialogue, (Kross 12). Which means, if we want to retrain or change our internal talk, we must learn to challenge what we learned as kids and find new ways to speak to ourselves that improves our ability to play our sport or perform well.

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EVERY SPORT HAS A WHY OR PURPOSE

I use an exercise with every athlete and team that I coach. First, we begin by going over a list of values and choosing our top ten. We work to bring the list down to our top three by finding the main themes and deeper values (or what I call the internal operating system) of who we are outside of our sport. Getting clear on what we value helps us stay out of comparison, helps us make better decisions and ultimately leads us to the “why” behind the training and competition of sports.

Once they have their top three values, we explore the top fears they have: fear of failure, fear of embarrassment (that I’m not good enough), fear of getting injured, fear of disappointing someone, fear of losing the enjoyment or fun of playing. In almost ten years and over 1500 athletes, these are the same ones that come up every time. After we explore their fears, I ask them to write down as many reasons as they can come up with as to why they play. After all, getting up at 5:30 for a morning lift isn’t what everyone is doing; why are you doing it? What starts to become clear is that our values line up more with our why and are usually in opposition to our fears. So, the clearer we can get on our values, the more compelling our why becomes. If the reason behind what we do isn’t compelling enough, we will not last long when things get really difficult.

The best part of coaching athletes and teams in this work is the moment one of these mental skills clicks. The moment something sinks in and a real and lasting change happens – not only in their sport, but in the way they live their lives. Whether they want to admit it or not, every athlete has emotions, an underlying “why,” and a body that responds to stress in remarkably similar ways. I wonder if one of these is an area worth exploring this season?

—Priscilla and the IPG Team

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this has been a pretty fun couple of weeks.

Just a few weeks ago, Boston looked completely lost.

They were struggling to find consistency, had just made a managerial change, and many people had already written them off.

Fast forward to today.

They’re one of the hottest teams in baseball, riding a 13-game winning streak and playing with the kind of confidence every athlete and coach hopes to experience.

If you’re not a Red Sox fan...

stay with me.

Because this isn’t really a baseball story.

It’s a performance story.

When teams suddenly catch fire, we love looking for the reason.

It was the manager.

It was one speech.

It was one superstar.

It was momentum.

The truth?

High performance almost never comes from one magical moment.

It comes from consistently doing the ordinary things extraordinarily well.

In fact, Boston’s resurgence reminds us of three performance myths that quietly hold athletes, coaches, leaders—and all of us—back.

Myth #1: Big Changes Create Big Turnarounds.

When things aren’t going well, our brains naturally assume we need a massive solution.

Change everything.

Fix everything.

Start over.

Performance psychology suggests the opposite.

Elite performers narrow their attention.

One pitch.

One possession.

One conversation.

One rep.

Research on attentional control consistently shows that directing our focus toward controllable, task-relevant cues improves both performance and emotional regulation.

Watch Boston play right now.

They don’t look like a team trying to save their season.

They look like a team trying to win the next pitch.

That’s where turnarounds begin.

Not with dramatic changes...

but with disciplined attention to the next right thing.

Myth #2: Confidence Comes Before Performance.

This may be the biggest lie athletes unknowingly believe.

“Once I get my confidence back… I’ll perform better.”

The research—and real life—suggest the opposite.

One insight my good friend and IPG partner, Dr. Braden Brown, has shared with me time and time again is this: confidence is far more often an outcome than a prerequisite.

One of my favorite parts of Boston’s winning streak is this:

It hasn’t been one superstar carrying everyone else.

Different players have stepped up on different nights.

One game it’s timely hitting.

The next it’s outstanding pitching.

The bullpen.

Defense.

Role players doing their jobs.

Psychologists refer to this as collective efficacy—the shared belief that we can accomplish something together.

That belief wasn’t created because Boston started winning.

It grew because individuals kept stacking successful behaviors together.

Behavior builds belief.

Belief fuels confidence.

Confidence enhances performance.

Not the other way around.

Myth #3: Momentum Is Something You Find.

We talk about momentum like it’s hiding somewhere.

“We just need momentum.”

No.

Momentum isn’t found.

It’s built.

One quality at-bat.

One extra base taken.

One routine play.

One good decision.

One response after a mistake.

Repeat that enough times...

and suddenly everyone calls it momentum.

One statistic from Boston’s latest win stood out to me.

In a recent sweep of the Rays, they actually had fewer hits than Tampa Bay.

Yet they won convincingly because they executed in the moments that mattered most.

Winning wasn’t the cause of their discipline.

Their discipline produced the winning.

That’s how sustainable performance works.

Final Thought

After Boston’s latest win, Sonny Gray didn’t talk about confidence.

He didn’t talk about momentum.

He didn’t talk about pressure.

He simply said:

“We just keep showing up and playing our game.”

I love that!

Why?

Because there isn’t a better description of sustainable performance.

Not chasing confidence.

Not chasing momentum.

Not chasing perfect.

Just showing up...

and playing your game.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Whether you’re coaching...

competing...

leading a team…

or simply trying to become a little better than you were yesterday...

Don’t chase momentum.

Build behaviors.

Don’t wait for confidence.

Create evidence.

Don’t search for the breakthrough.

Win the next moment.

Because meaningful performance improvements rarely arrive all at once.

They happen one intentional action at a time.

Eventually...

those actions start looking like confidence.

They start looking like momentum.

They start looking like a winning streak.

But underneath it all...

they’re simply the result of people who kept showing up and playing their game.

— Dallas Pruitt & the IPG Team

P.S. Fall sports are right around the corner, and the cost of competing doesn’t seem to be getting any cheaper. If your team is looking for a simple, effective way to raise funds this season, we encourage you to check out our friends at Fundraise Genius. We’ve seen firsthand the impact they’re making for programs across the country, and we genuinely believe their team is the best in the business. You can learn more and connect directly with their team HERE.

And if you reach out, let them know IPG sent you!

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A simple phrase has been bouncing around in my mind for the past few months:

Best Days. Worst Days.

The more I’ve reflected on that phrase, the more convinced I’ve become that it captures one of the greatest lessons sport has to teach us.

Whether you’re an athlete, coach, parent, or simply trying to become a little better today than you were yesterday, life has a way of handing us both.

Sometimes your best day becomes your worst day in a matter of minutes.

Sometimes what feels like your worst day quietly becomes the beginning of your best.

That’s life.

That’s sport.

And from the lens of performance psychology, one thing has become abundantly clear:

The highest performers aren’t the people who avoid life’s best days and worst days.

They’re the people who learn to navigate both.

Learn to Love the Waves

I had the privilege of spending nearly ten days in Cooperstown this past week with a group of young baseball players and their families.

It was one of those experiences I’ll never forget.

There were walk-off wins.

There were heartbreaking losses.

Kids who couldn’t stop smiling.

Kids who couldn’t stop crying.

Parents riding every pitch.

Coaches carrying the weight of every decision.

Confidence.

Doubt.

Joy.

Heartbreak.

Every emotion imaginable showed up.

As it should.

That’s what makes sport such an incredible teacher.

Watching dozens of games reminded me of something I continue to learn myself:

Life isn’t about avoiding the waves.

It’s about becoming a better surfer.

Surfers don’t expect every wave to be perfect.

Some waves lift them.

Others throw them.

Some aren’t worth chasing.

Some become the ride of a lifetime.

They understand something many of us forget:

The goal isn’t to catch one perfect wave.

The goal is to keep surfing.

The same is true in sport as it is in life.

One strikeout isn’t your season.

One championship isn’t your identity.

One bad performance doesn’t define you.

One great performance doesn’t guarantee the next.

Performance isn’t built on one wave.

It’s built on your willingness to paddle back out.

Research on resilience consistently shows that elite performers aren’t defined by avoiding adversity but by how quickly they recover from it. Sport psychologist Dr. Michael Gervais often teaches that our greatest skill isn’t controlling what happens to us—it’s learning to continually return our attention to what matters most. As Zach Van Leeuwen reminded us in last week’s newsletter, our response matters more than our circumstances.

Perspective is what allows us to respond well. It’s what gets us back on the board.

Here are three practical ways to build it.

1. Ride the Wave. Don’t Build a House There.

Celebrate.

Smile.

High-five your teammates.

Enjoy the moment.

Then paddle back out.

Success deserves appreciation.

It doesn’t deserve residency.

One of the traps athletes fall into is believing today’s success somehow guarantees tomorrow’s.

It doesn’t.

Research on emotional regulation suggests that high performers intentionally recover from positive emotions just as they recover from disappointment because lingering too long in either emotional state pulls attention away from the next opportunity.

Confidence shouldn’t come from yesterday’s scoreboard.

It should come from today’s preparation.

Enjoy the wave.

Then go find the next one.

2. Paddle. Don’t Predict.

Here’s the truth:

Surfers don’t control the ocean.

Athletes don’t control outcomes.

Parents don’t control every bounce.

Coaches don’t control every decision an official makes.

What they do control is how they prepare, respond, communicate, recover, and compete.

Psychologists call this an internal locus of control—placing your attention on what you can influence instead of obsessing over what you can’t. Research has consistently linked this mindset to greater resilience, persistence, and long-term performance.

When emotions begin pulling you away, come back to questions like these:

• Did I prepare?

• Did I compete?

• Did I communicate?

• Did I stay present?

• Did I give my best effort on the next play?

Effort travels.

Results come and go.

The athletes who stay grounded are usually the ones who keep returning to what they can control.

3. Share the Stoke.

One of my favorite things about surfing culture is that great surfers celebrate great rides—even when they belong to someone else.

Imagine if more of us approached sport and life that way.

Talk about your teammates.

Recognize your coaches.

Thank your parents.

Respect your opponents.

Celebrate someone else’s success.

Research from positive psychology has shown that gratitude strengthens relationships, broadens perspective, and increases well-being. It also shifts our attention away from comparison and back toward connection.

Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself.

It’s thinking about yourself less often.

Gratitude has a remarkable way of keeping our feet on the ground while allowing our confidence to stay high.

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Protect Your Perspective

At IPG, we talk often about protecting the joy of sport.

The more I’ve thought about it, the more convinced I’ve become that one of the greatest ways we protect joy is by protecting perspective.

Lose perspective, and one bad game becomes an identity crisis.

Lose perspective, and one championship becomes your identity.

Lose perspective, and every performance begins determining your worth.

Perspective reminds us that we’re more than one result.

More than one season.

More than one wave.

There will always be another wave.

Some will become the best days of your life.

Others may become your worst.

Don’t let either convince you they’re permanent.

The wave always passes.

The ocean remains.

Perspective doesn’t remove the waves.

It reminds us they’re only waves.

Your job isn’t to control the ocean.

Your job is to become the kind of athlete...

...the kind of coach...

...the kind of parent...

who keeps paddling back out.

Because perspective protects joy.

And when we protect our perspective—on our best days and our worst days—we protect what matters most.

— Dallas Pruitt & the Team at IPG

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Author’s Note: This article was inspired by President Emily Belle Freeman’s General Conference message, “Best Days, Worst Days.” While her message explores this theme through a spiritual lens, this article explores the same idea through the lens of evidence-based mental performance, resilience, and sport psychology.

“It doesn’t matter what happens to us. What matters more is how we respond to what happens to us.”

That message has been a recurring theme in my work lately: our response matters more than our circumstances.

Another quote that reinforces this idea comes from Dr. Michael Gervais, sport psychologist for the Seattle Seahawks:

“The world is not set up for you to be great. That’s your responsibility. The way that you respond to the external conditions—that is your responsibility. Response-ability. The adult rite of passage is knowing who you want to become and lining your best efforts up, day in and day out, toward that.”

Life and sport will always present adversity, setbacks, and unexpected challenges. Developing the ability to respond well isn’t something we’re born with—it’s something we train. And one of the greatest guides for our response is having a clear picture of who we want to become.

The Equation

One of the simplest yet most powerful equations in sport psychology is:

E + R = O

Event + Response = Outcome

The event represents the external conditions we often cannot control: officials’ calls, injuries, coaching decisions, playing time, weather, or mistakes.

The response is what we can control. It includes our thoughts, behaviors, attitude, body language, effort, and focus.

Our response influences our outcome far more than the event itself.

I’d like to focus on one event nearly every athlete experiences at some point in their career: not getting the playing time you expected.

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When Expectations Don’t Match Reality

At some point, every athlete experiences disappointment.

Maybe you don’t start the game. Maybe your minutes decrease. Maybe another player earns the opportunity you’ve been working toward. Maybe you’re taken out of the lineup altogether.

These moments naturally bring emotions like frustration, disappointment, anger, anxiety, or even self-doubt. Those emotions are real and completely normal.

The question isn’t whether you’ll experience them.

The question is: How will you respond?

These moments can either pull us away from growth or become the very experiences that help us develop resilience, maturity, and mental toughness.

Here are a few mental skills that can help.

1. Practice Role Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like the situation. It means acknowledging reality so you can focus your energy where it actually matters.

One thing you always control is the kind of teammate you choose to be.

Encouraging teammates, celebrating their success, and staying engaged in the game keeps your attention productive rather than dwelling on what you can’t control. Positive teammates elevate everyone around them, and that culture often comes back around when your opportunity arrives.

2. Take Mental Reps

If you’re not on the field or court, don’t check out mentally.

Instead, watch your position closely.

Notice what your teammates are doing well. Observe their movement, communication, and decision-making. Think through how your strengths could impact similar situations or what adjustments you would make.

These mental repetitions prepare your brain to perform when your number is called. It’s much easier to stay ready than to spend your first few minutes trying to regain focus.

3. Become Your Ultimate Self

One exercise I frequently use with athletes is creating a picture of their ultimate self.

Who do you want to become?

This version of yourself is often defined by your values—your work ethic, discipline, attitude, leadership, confidence, and resilience.

Then ask yourself:

• How would the ultimate version of me respond in this situation?

• What would they be thinking?

• How would they speak?

• What actions would they take?

Those answers become process goals you can live out immediately, regardless of your role.

Becoming an Ultimate Responder

Response-ability is exactly what it sounds like: the ability to choose your response.

It is a skill that can be trained.

Every athlete will face adversity, unmet expectations, and circumstances they didn’t choose. The athletes who continue to grow aren’t necessarily the ones who avoid these moments—they’re the ones who respond to them with purpose.

Wisdom is learning to sift through everything happening around you and focus on what matters most in the present moment.

May you continue developing the ability to become an ultimate responder.

Because in the end, it isn’t what happens to us that defines us.

It’s how we choose to respond.

— ZVL and the IPG Team

Article by Zach Van Leeuwen, LMFT, CMPC, Founder of Cache Sports Therapy and IPG Advisory Board Member

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WHAT IS A PRESSURE MOMENT:

Pressure moments are those moments in sport when a team or an individual is in a make-or-break situation. It might be a home run when the bases are loaded, an ace on game-point in volleyball, the winning field goal when the game is on the line, or perhaps it’s the intense moment of a penalty shootout. The shootout is such an emotionally intense moment that it has been studied and researched for decades. Geir Jordet, Professor of Psychology and Football at the Norwegian School of Sport Sciences, is one of those researchers looking to crack the secret codes of the world’s best penalty takers. In two decades of research, he found that the pressure moment of a penalty shot can create highly stressful situations, but the most successful shooters adopt a consistent routine that they train and practice daily.

WHY WE FIGHT PRESSURE:

Let’s say our basketball team is down 55-57 and our team needs a three-pointer to win the game. We are down to the last several seconds of the game with time for only one more play before the buzzer. This can go one of two ways; we could beat the buzzer with a three-pointer to win the game by one, or we could miss the shot and lose by two. In the first scenario, our team is relieved and we celebrate the victory with our team, our coaches and the student body in the stands. In the latter, we may feel embarrassed, responsible for the loss, or we may even experience some pretty awful feelings for a while. When pressure moments don’t go our way, it can be difficult to regulate our emotions long after the moment has passed.

Which takes us back to Jordet’s research on penalty shootouts. In his book Pressure, Lessons from the Psychology of the Penalty Shootout, Jordet states “The penalty skill performed without pressure, and an audience, is relatively easy. However, add a crowd, a TV audience, consequences, pressure ... [and] the game suddenly, dramatically changes and the odds for choking skyrocket” (Jordet 29). The external pressure of the moment (a crowd, expectations, our identity to the sport) creates an internal pressure that can wash over us life a tidal wave. Often times, that wave does not crash in our favor.

HOW HARRY KANE CONTROLS PRESSURE:

England’s Harry Kane is an elite professional footballer and widely regarded as one of the best penalty takers. In fact, last August, Sports Illustrated ranked Kane as the 13th best penalty takers in all of football history. But according to the extensive research and the impressive success percentage if the past two years, Jordet ranked Kane as the number onepenalty taker at this year’s World Cup. Jordet’s numbers don’t just include a success rate percentage or total number of scored penalties, but also data he compiled from his thorough research of each shooters preparation, whether they are goalkeeper-dependent or independent, and a variety of other criteria that paints a broader view of the moment itself versus the result. Jordet calls Kane a specialist when it comes to shootouts because of his preparation, “for Kane, stability is key. He always sets up his penalties in the same way” (Jordet 72).

While Kane’s numbers certainly reflect skill and strategy, his routine and consistency can be attributed to his reliability and improvement in the last couple of years. In fact, Kane’s preparation is widely shared on the internet, social media, interviews, and highlight reel compilations. The secret to Kane’s success is simple but it’s not easy; he sticks to the same routine every time and he trains that routine in every training. Part of his routine goes like this: place the valve of the ball facing the goal, take seven steps back from the ball, take on breath at the ball, one breath at the keeper, then shoot. The consistency of this approach helps him focus on his routine in a big moment instead of thinking about the result.

OUR BEST BET TO MANAGE PRESSURE:

Now it’s your turn to train like Harry Kane! What are the pressure moments in your sport that you need to practice and prepare for? Is there a particular skill or moment you avoid training because of the pressure it brings? Routines aren’t only for professional World Cup athletes; they’re also for us. Small additions like adding a breath before or after a big moment, visualizing a target for a shot or serve, or having the same approach to the starting blocks can be simple ways to add routine to your game and increase focus and concentration. Remember, what we train, we improve.

— Priscilla & the IPG Team

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RESOURCES (and links):

Jordet, Geir. Pressure, Lessons From the Psychology of the Penalty Shootout. New River Books, 2024.

Lane, Barnaby. “The 50 Best Penalty Takers in Football History.” Sports Illustrated, 27 August 2025. Accessed 25 June 2026.

Jordet, Geir. “The 10 Best Penalty Takers at the 2026 World Cup (With apologies to Messi and Ronaldo).” The Atlantic, 23 June 2026.

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For years, I had the opportunity to travel with professional sports teams.

People assume that means I learned the secrets of elite performance nutrition. They want to know what the athletes ate, how we optimized recovery, or what supplements we used behind the scenes.

Those things matter.

But the most important lessons I learned over all those years had nothing to do with food.

It had everything to do with people.

It’s funny sometimes but i’m always taking selfies with the people we work with. Like “Yo, you guys were awesome let’s take a selfie.”

I always have made it a point to introduce myself and ask their names before starting a service. I remember my mom reinforcing that lesson when I was nine years old. As a fifth-grade teacher I remember her saying “Anthony, always say hello and be nice to the custodians. They’re people too.”

With that I learned that the people who make or break your experience are often the people no one takes time to acknowledge.

The attendants setting up breakfast before sunrise. The dishwashers working behind the scenes. The banquet staff serving hundreds of guests. The bus drivers who are always ready early. Team security making sure everyone is safe.

They are rarely the people standing at the microphone or appearing in the highlight reel. But they are often the reason everything runs smoothly.

In professional sports, details matter.

A delayed meal service impacts team preparation. A missed detail creates unnecessary stress. A poorly coordinated event can make or break an entire day.

The best organizations understand that excellence isn’t built by a few star performers. Excellence is built by hundreds of people doing their jobs well.

And people perform better when they feel valued. I’ve seen it over and over again. The chef you address by name takes extra pride in preparing your meal. The server who feels seen goes above and beyond to help. A staff member you treat with respect will proactively solve your problems before you even realize you have a problem!

This is not magic.. It’s relationship.

It feels special but we are just talking about using basic humanity principles.

• Everyone wants to feel acknowledged

• Everyone wants to feel respected

• Everyone wants to know their work matters

The irony is treating people like this costs absolutely nothing. You don’t need a title, you don’t need a bigger budget, you just need to pay attention.

A question I hear is “but what if I am bad at remembering names?” Before I share my secret I will usually respond with “If you say you are..”

First step to remember a name is telling yourself that you are great at remembering names. The second step is to repeat their name back to them when they say it to you. “Hi, I’m Chris.” “Hi Chris, very nice to meet you, my name is Anthony.”

That’s it. Saying it out loud when you first hear it will help it stick. In the kitchen we call it a “call back.” The other person knows you know what they said and by repeating it out loud it helps you to remember.

The longer I’ve worked in sports, hospitality, and performance, the more convinced i’ve become that relationships are a competitive advantage. Whether you are leading a professional sports team, managing a company, attending a conference, or simply going through your day, the principle remains the same.

Staff remember how you treat them. People remember how you make them feel. The culture you create is reflected in those daily interactions.

So this next week I implore you to learn a name. Make eye contact. Say thank you. Ask how the afternoon is going. I challenge you to see a human before you see a role.

You may just discover what professional sports taught me:

The most important performance lesson isn’t about nutrition, recovery, or strategy.

It’s about treating people like people.

And that changes everything.

—Anthony Zamora and the IPG Team

P.S. Whether you’re leading a school, team, camp, or athletic event, our network of performance professionals would love to support your athletes. Reply to this email if you’d like to learn more about bringing IPG to your organization.

I've been deaf my whole life. I played professional baseball anyway.

People assume that made the noise easier. No crowd in my ears, no chirping from the dugout, no umpire's call ringing around in my head. The truth is more useful than that, and it's something every coach can teach.

I still dealt with noise. It just lived in a different place. The scoreboard. The doubt. The voice that shows up after a strikeout and quietly starts building a case against you. Being deaf didn't delete the noise. It forced me to get deliberate about what I let in.

That is the whole skill. And most of our athletes are never taught it.

The two settings most athletes know

Watch a young athlete handle a loud moment and you will usually see one of two settings.

Setting one is MAX. Everything is turned up at once. The crowd, the parents, the count, the last bad call, the kid talking trash at shortstop, and the running commentary in their own head. They are trying to process all of it, so they process none of it well. They look busy and frozen at the same time.

Setting two is MUTE. They decide noise is the enemy, so they try to shut all of it out. We coaches feed this with "block it out" and "don't listen to them." Sounds good. Does not work. You cannot go numb to the bad signal without going numb to the good signal too. Mute the crowd and you mute your own coach's cue right along with it.

Both settings have the same flaw. They treat noise as one slider, where the only choices are loud or off.

It is not a slider. It is a soundboard.

Here is the reframe I give athletes. You do not have one volume knob. You have a soundboard, and every source of noise is its own channel.

Channel one: the crowd and the parents.
Channel two: the scoreboard and the situation.
Channel three: your coach and your teammates.
Channel four: your own self-talk.
Channel five: the naysayers, the doubters, the people waiting for you to fail.

A great performer does not mute the board. They run it. They turn channels up and down on purpose, moment to moment, based on what actually helps them compete. Two outs and a runner on third, the coach channel goes up and the crowd channel comes down. Bad call behind you, the self-talk channel gets watched closely so it does not run the inning.

"Turning a deaf ear to the naysayers" was never about pretending they do not exist. It is a choice. You walk up to that channel and you set it to zero, on purpose, while you keep your coach's voice and your own breathing turned all the way up.

That is not denial. That is control. And here is the part that should matter most to you as a coach: control is trainable. Attention is a skill, not a personality trait. The athlete who looks "unshakeable" is not built different. They have just rehearsed running their board more than the kid next to them.

How to teach it this week

Three steps. You can run all of it inside a normal practice.

1. Name the channels. You cannot manage a dial you have never looked at. Sit your athletes down and have them list what competes for their attention in a game. Make them be specific. Not "pressure," but "my dad behind the backstop." Not "nerves," but "the scoreboard when we are down two." Awareness comes first. Most of them have never said these things out loud, and naming them takes away half their power.

2. Assign the settings before they compete. Noise is far easier to handle when you have decided in advance. Before the game, have each athlete pick two channels to turn up and two to turn down. Up might be: my routine, my breath, one trusted teammate. Down might be: the scoreboard until there is a decision to make, the comments from the stands. Now they walk in with a plan for their attention instead of reacting to whatever happens to be loudest.

3. Build a reset they can run in ten seconds. The board gets knocked out of place. A bad call, an error, a loud inning. That is normal, and it is going to happen. What separates athletes is how fast they get back to their settings. Give them one physical anchor and one word. A slow breath out, then a cue like "next pitch" or "my game." That combination pulls attention off the noise and back onto the one thing they can actually control right now. Rep it in practice so it is automatic by Friday night.

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The takeaway for your athletes

Athletes do not rise to silence. Silence is not even available to most of them, and chasing it just hands them one more thing to fail at.

What they can learn is the dial. They can learn that noise is not something that happens to them. It is an input, and inputs can be managed. The crowd gets a setting. The scoreboard gets a setting. The voice in their own head gets a setting too, and that might be the most important channel on the entire board.

I learned to run my board because I had no choice. Your athletes have the same equipment I do. They just need someone to show them where the dial is.

Turn the right channels up. Turn a deaf ear to the rest. On purpose.

Until next time,

— Skip and the IPG Team

P.S. We're spending much of our summer supporting athletes, coaches, and families at camps, tournaments, and events across the country. We had an incredible experience serving at the Idaho Bowl this week and will be headed to the Oregon Bowl next. If you're running an event and would like to bring mental performance, leadership, or athlete development support to your athletes, simply reply to this email. We'd love to connect.

Transitions

Graduation, leaving on an LDS Church mission, reporting for boot camp, starting a new job, heading off to play college sports, athletic injuries, and retirement. These are all topics I’ve heard about in my private practice over the last several weeks.

The end of May and the beginning of June bring new opportunities, experiences, and challenges—what we often call transitions. We all experience them at different stages of life. But are we always ready when those transitions come knocking at our door?

Today, I’d like to share a few protective factors that can help you become more resilient when those transitions arrive.

Support System

One of the biggest protective factors for resilience during a major transition is having a strong support system. Identify people with whom you can maintain meaningful connections. One helpful exercise is creating a list of people who can be part of your “support team”—individuals you can check in with regularly. These people may be coaches, teammates, mentors, friends, or peers.

They can serve as sounding boards and help buffer some of the stress that comes with new surroundings and new experiences. Do what you can to connect with new social groups early. Push yourself outside your comfort zone and build connections with new people.

The takeaway: Who are the 3–5 people you can lean on, and how will you stay connected with them during this transition?

Self-Efficacy (Confidence in Your Ability to Adapt)

A good friend of mine once shared this definition of resilience:

Resilience = Adversity + Positive Adaptation

Justin Su’a has shared a Chinese proverb about a bird:

“The bird didn’t trust the branch. The bird trusted its ability to fly if the branch broke. It trusted its wings.”

Managing expectations and focusing on our ability to adapt—rather than obsessing over outcomes—can help build self-efficacy. Another way to strengthen self-efficacy is by reflecting on past experiences when we overcame adversity or successfully navigated a difficult transition.

As we look back, we can identify the strengths, skills, and resources that helped us through those challenging times. According to Albert Bandura’s research on self-efficacy, past mastery experiences are one of the most powerful ways confidence is built.

When we remember the challenges we’ve overcome, we’re reminded that we can trust our wings and our ability to fly.

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Meaning & Purpose

I recently watched a podcast clip featuring Dr. Michael Gervais, a world-renowned sport psychologist. He talked about lobsters and the transition phases they go through. As they outgrow their shell, they must shed it and make the vulnerable journey across the ocean floor to find a new, larger shell—one they must uncomfortably grow into.

Dr. Gervais suggested that transitions are important opportunities to examine our identity and who we are becoming. He encourages people to reflect on questions such as:

• Who am I?

• What is my purpose?

• Using my imagination, what is a compelling future I want for myself?

These questions can help create meaning and purpose, which serve as psychological anchors during times of uncertainty.

What do you value? Who is the person you can see yourself becoming through this new transition period of your life?

Flexible Thinking (Cognitive Agility)

Many of us spend time visualizing success. But do we also take time to visualize obstacles and how we’ll overcome them?

Doing so promotes adaptability and helps us maintain perspective when setbacks inevitably arise. We become more composed during transitions when we’ve mentally prepared for challenges rather than being surprised by them.

What obstacles might show up during this transition? How will you respond when things don’t go as planned?

Emotion Regulation Skills

Anxiety, stress, loneliness, and self-doubt are all normal emotions during transitions—and quite frankly, they should be expected.

Having a set of tools that help you reset is crucial while you ride out those emotional waves. Breathing exercises, mindfulness, exercise, and journaling are just a few strategies that can help regulate emotions.

The important thing is identifying what works for you. What will be your boogie board to help you ride the waves when emotions become intense?

These skills should be practiced regularly so they’re available when you need them most.

Final Thoughts

Transitions can be difficult. Patience with yourself will be important.

Every new door that opens and every new experience you step into has the potential to help you grow into a better version of yourself. Take advantage of these opportunities. Do what you can to cultivate the protective factors discussed above, as they can help facilitate a smoother transition.

If things ever feel overwhelming, pause and ask yourself: What is the next step? Then take it. And after that, take the next one.

Over time, you’ll come to realize that “by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.”

Best of luck with the opportunities and experiences ahead of you. Never forget that you are believed in and supported!

— ZVL & the Impact-Ed Team

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Summer is finally here for most students and that means summer sports camps are also here! If you are in middle school, high school, or are a parent of a student in middle school or high school, here are a few ways to make your summer sport camp experience one to remember.

HAVE A GOAL:

This doesn’t have to be complicated, but having a goal for your time at camp might just make your experience more fun and challenging. In his book, Do Hard Things, Steve Magness suggests setting “goals that are just beyond our current capabilities. If there’s too large of a mismatch between our abilities and our goal, our motivation decreases.” This means you want to look at your current capabilities in skill, strategy, or even physical strength or speed, and give yourself a goal just beyond what you can currently do.

The second kind of goal that will make your camp experience valuable and enjoyable is to choose a goal that is aligned with what feels most authentic to you and what you care about. Often our parents or coaches have something in mind for our time at camp, and we haven’t even asked for their opinion. Not only can that put unnecessary pressure and expectations on the experience, but it also decreases the chances that we will achieve the goals they have for us (Magness, 55). We tend to achieve the goals we are most interested in pursuing.

MEET NEW PEOPLE:

Sports camps are an incredible way to meet new people and form lasting friendships. Many years ago, I met one of my future teammates at a volleyball camp in Colorado. She was from Nebraska and I was from Texas. We were both invited to attend an extra session where we would get more individualized feedback and a chance to be coached by the elite staff on the coach’s cadre. Both of us were on the more introverted side, but we connected and agreed to eat lunch together before the additional sessions.

During these lunches, we discovered that we shared a birthday and we were both interested in playing at some of the same colleges. She was a setter and I was an outside hitter, so the friendship was easy. She was a year older and committed to The University of Georgia the following year. When it came time for me to decide on a college, I certainly factored or friendship into the equation.

Whether you make friends easily or if you are on the quieter side, try to make a new connection or start a conversation.

GET FEEDBACK FROM VARIOUS COACHES:

When you attend a sports camp, you will be exposed to new systems, skills and strategies for your sport. There might be unfamiliar drills, and various coaches with various ways of expressing feedback. This might feel personal or that they are picking on you, but ultimately their job as coaches is to make you better. One mistake student-athletes make at camp after receiving feedback is when they say, “my coach says to do it this way.” Even when you think your coach is right, even when you are more familiar with how you have been trained, learning how to receive feedback that is new or different is a skill you can use as you continue in sports. One way to reframe feedback is to look at it as a competitive advantage instead of as a personal attack. In his book Next Generation Leader, Andy Stanley says, “You will never maximize your potential in any area without coaching. We all do better when someone is watching and evaluating.”

A good rule of thumb is to receive feedback in a respectful way and try to apply it when you can. You can always go back to the way your school or club coach does it when you are back on those teams.

HAVE FUN:

The most important part of summer is to have some fun! It may be counter-intuitive to today’s grind and hustle culture, but rest and recovery and FUN are super important to your development as a person and as an athlete. Sometimes parents and coaches can forget that this is a virtue every athlete needs.

In an excerpt from What Drives Winning, Brett Ledbetter shares a note from one of the athletes he is coaching. She writes:

“So many people from family, friends, coaches, teammates and media all expect something from me. They want success. And when I’m not succeeding, they don’t want any part of it. If I don’t maintain my play, my characteristics, my purity, if I make a mistake everyone is watching. Judging.”

She goes on to say that she also fears making mistakes, failures, and letting people down. When we place people’s expectations over our own ability to have fun, sports become a serious downer. We lose interest in the very things we once enjoyed, the very things that helped us find joy and reduce stress. Yes, there are elements of competition that create physiological stress, but when competitive stress gets intermingled with making life and sport one big performance, fun can be hard to come by.

Parents, coaches, and athletes need to remember summer can be a time of growth, but it needs also to be a time of fun – and that includes summer sports camps. What summer camps are you most excitedabout? What connections or friendships do you hope to make this summer? What skill do you want to improve? What activities or downtime are you most looking forward to?

— Priscilla & the Impact-Ed Team

Perfectionism is one of the most praised—and misunderstood—struggles in sports.

From the outside, perfectionistic athletes often look like “dream athletes.”

They work hard.
They care deeply.
They stay late.
They push themselves relentlessly.

Coaches praise them. Parents admire them. Teammates respect them.

But underneath that drive is often something very different than a healthy pursuit of excellence.

Because perfectionism is usually not just about high standards.

It is often about fear.

Fear of failure.
Fear of falling behind.
Fear of disappointing others.
Fear of not being enough.

Research consistently shows that maladaptive perfectionism is strongly associated with anxiety, burnout, depression, self-criticism, eating pathology, and reduced well-being in athletes.

In fact, studies in sport psychology have found that athletes high in perfectionistic concerns tend to experience more emotional distress, fear of mistakes, and unstable self-worth—especially when performance goes poorly.

In other words:

Many athletes are not chasing perfection because they love growth.

They are chasing perfection because they are trying to feel safe, accepted, valued, and “good enough.”

And that distinction matters.

A lot.

High Standards Are Not the Problem

Healthy striving is not the enemy.

Wanting to improve is not unhealthy.

Discipline is not unhealthy.

Competing at a high level is not unhealthy.

But there is a major psychological difference between:

“I want to grow.”

And

“I have to perform well to feel okay about myself.”

One mindset creates resilience.

The other creates fragility.

Researcher Gordon Flett—one of the leading experts on perfectionism—has repeatedly emphasized that perfectionism is often rooted in conditional self-worth. Athletes begin to believe they are more lovable, valuable, or acceptable when they succeed…and less worthy when they fail.

That creates an impossible psychological trap.

Because sport guarantees failure eventually.

A bad game.
A turnover.
An injury.
A slump.
A missed shot.
A mistake under pressure.

And when athletes attach identity to achievement, every mistake starts to feel personal.

Not informational.

Personal.

That is why perfectionistic athletes often struggle with:

• intense self-criticism

• emotional exhaustion

• fear-based motivation

• avoidance of failure

• overtraining

• anxiety before competition

• difficulty recovering after mistakes

Not because they are weak.

Because their nervous system has learned:

mistakes are dangerous.

What I Would Teach Instead

If I was helping a perfectionistic athlete, I would not try to eliminate standards.

I would try to change their relationship with failure.

I would teach them:

Mistakes are information.
Not identity.

A bad performance tells you something.
It does not define you.

Failure can reveal weaknesses, gaps, habits, preparation issues, emotional patterns, or skill deficits.

That is useful.

That is growth.

But it is not a verdict on your capabilities or worth as a human being.

The healthiest high performers are not the ones who never fail.

They are the ones who can fail…and stay grounded anyway.

Research on psychological flexibility—one of the core concepts in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)—supports this idea.

Athletes who can accept uncomfortable thoughts and emotions without attaching identity to them tend to demonstrate better emotional regulation, resilience, and long-term performance outcomes.

In simple terms:

The goal is not raising athletes who avoid failure.

It is raising athletes who know how to respond to it.

What Parents and Coaches Often Miss

Kids are always watching us.

They notice:

• how we react after mistakes

• whether our mood changes after losses

• how we talk about failure

• whether achievement determines emotional connection

And sometimes, unintentionally, adults reinforce perfectionism without realizing it.

Not because they are bad parents or bad coaches.

Because many adults were raised the same way.

So instead of only praising outcomes, I would intentionally praise:

• effort

• courage

• preparation

• resilience

• recovery after mistakes

• willingness to learn

I would ask:

“What did you learn there?”

instead of:

“Why would you do that?”

I would communicate:

“I love watching you compete.”

instead of:

“You’re better than that.”

Because athletes need to know something bigger than sport:

They can struggle and still be worthy.
They can fail and still be enough.
They can make mistakes and still be loved.

That mindset does not just improve performance.

It protects mental health, identity, and well-being long after sport ends.

—Dr. B and the Impact-Ed Team

A question from the Impact Athlete Summit has stuck with me ever since it was asked:

“How do you catch up when you didn’t start as soon as other people?”

This question came from an athlete, but the truth is, I think it reaches far beyond sports.

It shows up in our careers.
In business.
In parenting.
In relationships.
In coaching.
In leadership.
In mental performance work.

It’s the feeling that somehow you’re behind.

That other people got an earlier start, better opportunities, more support, more knowledge, more connections, more talent, or more momentum.

And if we’re not careful, we begin believing stories that were never true to begin with.

Stories like:

• I’m too late.

• I don’t know enough.

• There’s not enough opportunity where I’m at.

• Everyone else is ahead.

• I’ve already failed too many times.

• Someone else is more qualified.

Over time, these stories stop feeling like fears.

They start feeling like facts.

But they’re not facts.
They’re myths.

And one of the most important skills we can develop as athletes, coaches, parents, leaders, and performance professionals is the ability to separate fear from truth.

Because growth doesn’t happen when we operate from fear.

Growth happens when we operate from truth.

Myth #1: “I’m Too Late”

This is probably the most common lie people believe.

The idea that because someone else started earlier, they automatically have a permanent advantage.

But research on expertise and skill development tells a very different story.

Yes, deliberate practice matters. Reps matter. Time matters.

But the quality of practice, emotional resilience, consistency, and adaptability matter just as much—if not more—than simply starting early.

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset showed that people who believe abilities can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence consistently outperform those who believe talent is fixed.

The truth is:

Starting late does not disqualify you. Staying stuck does.

Some people start early but stop growing.
Others start later but become relentlessly intentional.

We’ve all seen it.

Athletes who barely made varsity eventually dominate at the college level.
Coaches who struggled early become transformational leaders.
Professionals who felt behind eventually become industry experts because they stayed curious and consistent.

Your timeline does not determine your ceiling.

What matters most is what you do with today.

Because the compound effect is real. Small daily actions—repeated consistently over time—change trajectories.

James Clear calls this the power of “atomic habits.” Tiny improvements, repeated daily, create massive long-term outcomes. Research on habit formation and behavioral consistency supports this principle repeatedly.

You do not need to have done everything already.

You just need to begin.

Myth #2: “I Don’t Know Enough”

This myth crushes more potential than lack of talent ever will.

Especially for professionals serving athletes and performers.

Coaches.
Mental performance consultants.
Therapists.
Trainers.
Teachers.
Parents.

So many incredibly capable people hesitate because they think they need one more certification, one more course, one more perfect system, one more year of experience before they’re “ready.”

Now don’t get me wrong—education matters. Competence matters. Humility matters.

Confidence and real change are not built by knowing everything. They’re built by engaging, learning, applying, adjusting, and continuing to grow.

The people making the greatest impact are not the people pretending to know everything.

They’re the people willing to stay teachable. Moldable. And committed to growth.

One of my favorite concepts from Carol Dweck’s work is the power of yet.

Instead of saying:

• “I’m not good at this.”

• “I don’t know enough.”

• “I can’t do this.”

You add one simple word:

Yet.

That single word changes everything.

Because “yet” keeps the door open.

Neuroscience research on neuroplasticity continues to show that the brain remains adaptable throughout life. Human beings can learn, refine, and strengthen skills far longer than we once believed.

The truth is:

You do not need to know everything to begin helping people.

You need integrity.
Curiosity.
Consistency.
Humility.
And the willingness to keep learning.

Ironically, the people most worried about not knowing enough are often the exact people who care deeply enough to become excellent.

Myth #3: “There’s Not Enough Opportunity Where I’m At”

This one feels real when you’re living it.

Small town.
Limited resources.
Limited network.
Limited money.
Limited visibility.

But one of the greatest mindset shifts we can make is understanding this:

Opportunity is often created before it is discovered.

Research on resilience and entrepreneurship consistently shows that resourcefulness matters more than resources in the early stages of growth.

Some of the best coaches, businesses, and movements started in overlooked places.

Not because conditions were perfect.

But because people decided to build anyway.

The internet changed the game.
Relationships change the game.
Consistency changes the game.
Service changes the game.

Most opportunities are built through trust over time—not overnight visibility.

And trust is earned through repeated value.

One conversation.
One athlete helped.
One team impacted.
One article written.
One session coached.
One relationship strengthened.

Over and over and over again.

The truth is:

You probably already have more access than you think you do.

What most people lack is not opportunity.

It’s belief.
Clarity.
Consistency.
And patience long enough to let the process work.

The Truth About Growth

Growth is rarely glamorous while it’s happening.

Most growth looks like:

• learning while unsure

• showing up while doubting yourself

• failing publicly

• adjusting constantly

• building slowly

• repeating basics

• staying faithful before results show up

But this is the part nobody talks about:

Success is often just failure in progress.

Every expert was once a beginner.
Every confident person was once uncertain.
Every impactful leader once felt underqualified.

And truthfully, even the best still wrestle with doubt, setbacks, fear, and failure at times.

The difference is that they don’t allow those things to define them or stop them from moving forward.

They kept going.

Not perfectly.
Not fearlessly.
But consistently.

And that consistency eventually became belief.

For the Coaches, Professionals, and Leaders Serving Athletes and Performers of All Kinds

This message matters for you.

Because the people you serve are watching how you respond to growth, setbacks, uncertainty, and pressure.

If we want those we serve to believe they can grow, adapt, and overcome adversity…

…then we have to model it first.

As the saying goes, “Your actions speak so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.”

It’s hard to preach growth mindset while secretly living from fear ourselves.

It’s hard to teach resilience while avoiding discomfort.

It’s hard to teach confidence while constantly disqualifying ourselves internally.

The next generation, our communities, and the industries we serve do not need perfect leaders.

They need honest ones.
Grounded ones.
Growing ones.

Final Thought

You are not behind.

You are not disqualified.

You are not stuck unless you decide to stay there.

You likely already have more within you than fear wants you to believe.

So keep learning.
Keep building.
Keep serving.
Keep showing up.

And remember:

Growth is not about proving your worth.

It’s about becoming who you’re capable of becoming.

— Dallas & The Impact-Ed Team

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First, I want to give a shoutout to athletes who commit to mental skills training and actively apply what they learn. When I was a college football player, I didn’t have the knowledge I do now—and I know these tools would have made a significant difference. Now, as a retired football player competing in triathlons, cycling races, and running events, I’m constantly reminded that mental skills require consistent practice. It’s easy for the mind to slip into unhelpful patterns, especially under pressure. Applying these skills is harder than it seems, so credit to the athletes who truly invest in their mental game.

Last Saturday, I ran the Provo Canyon Half Marathon alongside fellow Impact-Ed board member Braden Brown and my younger brother, Kyle. Having completed two previous half marathons, I entered this race with my highest level of training and mileage to date. My goal was simple: set a personal record (PR). This is what we call a performance—or outcome—goal.

But what I want to focus on is the “race within the race”—the mental approach that helped me achieve that PR. While this isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula, the mental skills I used played a key role in improving my performance.

Before the race, I wrote out my process goals—goals that are 100% within my control. These are the actions that increase the likelihood of achieving your outcome goals. I had a clear vision of what I wanted (a PR) and identified the steps needed to get there. Research by Locke and Latham (2002) shows that clear goals help direct attention to controllable actions, reduce anxiety, and improve consistency in performance. For me, the objective became simple: execute my process goals.

My process goals were:

• Find a good pace early—and smile

• Enjoy the canyon and embrace race-day adrenaline

• Set small goals and celebrate progress throughout the race

• Be intentional and productive with my self-talk

These goals proved effective. Early pacing was critical—finding a rhythm that was both sustainable and challenging. Running the first six miles with my brother helped me settle into that pace and push beyond my comfort zone. The social component mattered. Research by Kerr and Karau (2007) describes the Köhler Effect—when individuals exert more effort working alongside others, especially when they feel accountable to them. Simply put, having someone beside you can elevate your performance.

Another key factor was present-moment awareness and acceptance. I focused on taking in the scenery and embracing the energy of race day. When discomfort set in—as it inevitably does—I worked to stay present rather than resist it. This helped prevent negative spirals and kept me engaged in the race.

Eventually, my brother pulled ahead (don’t tell him you’ll be waiting for him at the finish line, this put fuel on his fire lol). At that point, it became me versus me. That’s when self-talk became essential. I leaned on simple, powerful phrases: “My legs are built for this. My heart is strong. My lungs are strong. I can do this. Smile.”

Repeating these helped me push through moments when my mind told me to slow down or walk. Research by Marcora and Blanchfield (2014) supports the impact of self-talk in endurance performance—it can directly influence effort and persistence.

In the end, it comes down to this: input drives output. As athletes, we need to develop a system—a set of controllable actions—that gives us the best chance to perform at our highest level. Without that system, we risk letting emotions dictate our performance when things get difficult.

The next time you compete, take time to define your process. Identify the actions within your control that will move you toward your goal. Then commit to executing them.

Because often, the most important race isn’t the one on the course—it’s the one happening within your mind.

—ZVL and the Team at Impact-Ed

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We had so many great questions that went unanswered from the Impact Athletes Summit last month! Here are a few answers to questions we didn’t have time for that day. We hope these answers are helpful. While these answers do not include every context or situation, we hope they may serve as a starting point for a topic you may want to dive into with more depth. And, if you have additional questions, we hope you will reach out and let us know! We love hearing from you.

Q: What would you suggest to stay motivated in training, nutrition, etc.?

A: Write this down: Motivation is not a good indicator of how capable I am. Sometimes we focus on trying to create the right environment, the perfect playlist, our lucky socks, or even just a certain feeling. Motivation, however, can be unreliable. When we have it, it’s a great day, but when we don’t it can feel like we are carrying around a bag of bricks everywhere we go.

So, here’s a trick.

Instead of focusing on whether you feel motivated or not, ask yourself the question “Am I capable of training or making healthy nutrition choices today?” What you’ll find is that with or without the presence of motivation, you are still capable of the things you need to do. Even if you don’t want to.

TLDR: Don’t wait for motivation to show up to do things you are already capable and qualified to do.

Q: Do you recommend a specific breathing technique or mantra before a big serve, pitch, free-throw shot?

A: There is so much research that supports breath work as a valuable mental performance and mental health tool. One of the most common ways to begin integrating breathwork into your day is to use box breathing or 4-4-4-4 breathing (see the attached graphic). Breath work not only helps calm our bodies for sport, but for other stressful situations as well.

For training or competition, you won’t always have time to do a set of box breaths before a serve, pitch or free throw, but you can always pause, take a breath in through your nose, exhale out your mouth and then perform the skill. This also works between plays, during time outs and between quarters, sets, half-time or offense/defense switches. The idea is to just be aware of when you can use a quick breath for a mental reset.

Q: Does being in a relationship affect how you play or make you play worse?

A: While this may seem like a silly question, it’s actually a very good one.

The easy answer to this specific question is no, being in a relationship doesn’t lower your ability to play well. However, being in the wrong relationship or not having good boundaries will certainly affect your ability to train or compete at your best.

Relationships are a common part of an athlete’s life off the court, and they have the power to impact performance either positively or negatively on the court. In this context, the word relationship is about dating, but this could also mean spending time with or talking to someone, situationships and even friendships.

A few factors that might negatively impact your life on (or off) the court could include drama, secrets, control, manipulation or feeling less than after spending time with your significant other. A healthy relationship will compliment your sport, not detract or distract you from it.

There are too many different scenarios to cover here, but to keep it simple, the greatest asset any relationship can have is limits ... otherwise known as boundaries. Good boundaries include good communication, limits on how you spend time together, decisions that affect your sport negatively, and respecting another person’s limits as well as your own.

As always, check with your coaches, do your own research and get curious about mental performance and everything else that comes along with being a student-athlete or a coach. Sports are a fun, dynamic way to pursue cool things and learn the process of improvement, discipline, and navigating setbacks. We love learning with you and from you.

Looking ahead to the next Impact Athlete Summit—this is just the beginning.

—Coach Tallman and the team at Impact-Ed

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Last week at our inaugural Impact Athlete Summit, I shared something personal with a room full of high school athletes, coaches, and athletic directors.

Not a framework.
Not a performance strategy.
Just a story.

My story.

A story about a kid who loved sports…but spent a lot of years doubting himself.

A kid who was labeled early.

The big kid.
“Fat boy.”
The kid with ADHD.
The kid with anxiety.
The kid who often felt different.

For a long time, I thought those things defined me.

They didn’t.

Looking back, many of the things I once saw as liabilities became some of my greatest strengths.

That got me thinking about a question I’ve been asked a lot over the past few years:

Knowing what you know now, what would you tell your younger self?

I shared seven things.

Maybe they’re for my younger self.

Maybe they’re for you, too.

1. Who you were isn’t who you have to be.

People will label you.

Sometimes other people do it.

Sometimes you do it to yourself.

Either way—those labels don’t get to determine what you’re capable of or who you can become.

You do.

Your current struggles are not your permanent identity.

Your story is still being written—and you hold the pen.

And where you start says very little about where you can end up.

I think about this often: when I showed up to BYU, I could bench press 225 pounds maybe one time.

Five years later at the NFL Combine, I repped it 26 times.

Not because I was special.

Because development happened.

Not overnight.

Slowly. Repeatedly. Over time.

Don’t confuse where you are now with what you can become.

2. Don’t compare your current chapter to someone else’s.

Especially when you step into a new arena.

Most of the people you’re comparing yourself to have often just been there longer.

Comparison can become destructive when it turns into evidence for why you’re behind.

Why you’re falling short.

Why everyone else has something you don’t.

That kind of comparison limits you and can make you play small.

But comparison can also create curiosity.

What can I learn from them?
What habits do they have that I can build?
What might they teach me?

One tears you down.

The other helps you grow.

One comes from judgment.

The other comes from humility.

Big difference.

Don’t use comparison as a weapon against yourself.

Use it, when helpful, as a teacher.

And then get back to your own development.

Your habits.
Your effort.
Your growth.

That is where the real work is.

3. Doubt and insecurity are part of doing hard things.

I wish someone had told me this earlier.

Doubt doesn’t mean you don’t belong.

Insecurity doesn’t mean you aren’t capable.

Sometimes it simply means you’re stretching.

You’re in an arena that matters to you.

You’re growing.

Those thoughts and feelings show up for everybody.

The question isn’t whether they’ll appear.

It’s whether you’ll let them decide what you do next.

They only get to define you if you hand them the pen.

4. You are more than your performance.

I didn’t understand this nearly enough when I was younger:

Being an athlete might be a big part of your identity.

But it is not all of who you are.

One day—whether next year or twenty years from now—sport won’t be the main thing anymore.

And when that day comes, I hope you realize you have a lot more to offer the world than how well you perform.

I believe that deeply.

And maybe because some of what I’m most proud of has nothing to do with football, degrees, or titles.

It’s marrying an incredible woman.

Raising three amazing kids.

Building a meaningful life.

That matters infinitely more.

5. What feels like weaknesses today may become your greatest strengths.

The struggle.

The discomfort.

The parts of you that make you feel different.

Even some of the things you wish you could get rid of.

Sometimes those become the greatest sources of strength.

Some of the things I once viewed as weaknesses have ended up being my greatest strengths in my relationships and the work I get to do today.

Don’t rush to reject what may be refining you.

It may be refining you for something.

And it may become part of your gift.

6. Don’t decide too early what you’re capable of.

This has become truer to me with age.

At points in time, I legitimately never thought I would play a down of college football—

let alone start 41 games.

I never thought I could get a master’s degree—

let alone a PhD.

Thankfully, I was wrong.

Good thing younger me wasn’t qualified to define my limits.

And younger you may not be qualified to define yours either.

Most people don’t hit their ceiling.

They stop climbing.

So, keep climbing.

There is usually more—a lot more—in you than you can currently see.

7. Keep showing up.

Don’t underestimate the power of consistently showing up.

In your sport.

In school.

In relationships.

In life.

When it’s exciting.

When it feels ordinary.

When it’s hard.

Especially when it’s hard.

Because showing up compounds.

And over time, it’s often not the most talented people who separate themselves—it’s the ones who keep returning, keep adapting, and keep showing up when it would be easier not to.

The people we admire most didn’t get there because life was easier for them—they just refused to stop showing up.

Final Thoughts

I’ll leave you with this:

Who you were…

Who you are…

And who you’re becoming…

Are three different people.

Don’t let a bad moment, a label, someone else’s opinion, or a thought in your head write the ending for you.

Stay in it.

Keep showing up.

And you just might surprise yourself with what you’re truly capable of.

—Dr. B and the Impact-Ed Team

Explore how we help athletes, teams, and coaches → impact-ed.com

There’s a principle I’ve come back to more than almost anything else in my life.

As an athlete.
As a coach.
As a professional.
As a dad.

When things feel heavy… when pressure builds… when the outcome starts to matter a little too much…

I come back to this:

“Do your duty with devotion, without attachment to the outcome.”
— Bhagavad Gita (Chapter 3)

And a simple way to understand it:

Commitment to the process allows for flexibility, while attachment to the result breeds anxiety.

I’ve seen both sides of this.

And for anyone that’s human, and if you’ve been around sports long enough—you have too.

When Outcome Takes Over

Turn on any major sporting event right now—especially at the highest levels like the PGA Tour—and you’ll see it.

The smallest margins.
The highest pressure.
Millions watching.

And lately? You’ve also seen frustration.

Clubs slammed.
Emotions spilling over.
Rounds unraveling after one bad hole.

Not because these players lack skill.

But because even the best in the world aren’t immune to this truth:

When your identity and emotions get tied to the outcome… your performance tightens.

You stop playing.

You start protecting.

You start forcing.

And the game slips.

The Trap Most People Live In

Most athletes—and honestly, most people—live here:

• “I’ll feel good if we win.”

• “I’ll feel confident if I perform well.”

• “I’ll feel proud if I succeed.”

It sounds normal.

But it’s a trap.

Because it puts your internal state at the mercy of something you don’t fully control.

And when you don’t feel in control?

You press.

You overthink.

You tighten up.

A Better Way: Duty Over Outcome

The best performers I’ve ever been around operate differently.

They don’t ignore outcomes.

They just don’t attach themselves to them.

They ask a different question:

“What is my duty in this moment?”

Not:

• Did I win?

• Did I perform perfectly?

But:

• Did I show up the way I said I would?

• Did I execute what I trained to do?

• Did I respond the right way when things got hard?

That’s it.

That’s the game.

A Story That Stuck With Me

One of the clearest examples of this at the highest level came from Jordan Spieth at the 2016 Masters Tournament.

He was in control.

Calm. Composed. Locked in.

Through 9 holes on Sunday, he had a multiple-shot lead. Everything about him said this is over.

Then came the 12th hole.

One mistake.

A ball in the water.

Then another.

And just like that—you could feel the shift.

Not in his swing at first… but in his state.

The rhythm sped up.
The conversations got longer.
The body language tightened.

From that moment on, he wasn’t just playing golf anymore.

He was trying to fix what just happened.
Trying to protect what was slipping away.

He was chasing something he’d already lost.

That’s what attachment does.

It pulls you out of the present…
and into a fight you can’t win.

What the Best Actually Do

The best don’t eliminate pressure.

They relocate their focus.

From outcome → to duty.
From result → to response.
From future → to now.

They understand something simple:

You don’t control the outcome.
You control your inputs.

And when you lock into the right inputs, consistently…

The outcomes tend to take care of themselves.

A Simple Framework You Can Use Immediately

If you’re a coach, parent, or leader—this is where this principle becomes powerful.

Here’s a framework you can give your athletes or team:

1. Define the Duty

Before competition, ask:

“What does doing your job look like today?”

Make it specific and controllable:

• Effort

• Communication

• Body language

• Focus resets

• Execution cues

Not:

• Points

• Wins

• Stats

2. Anchor to It

Create a simple phrase or identity anchor:

• “I compete with composure and confidence.”

• “Next play mentality.”

• “Calm. Clear. Committed.”

Something they can return to under pressure.

3. Reset Relentlessly

When things go wrong (because they will):

Use this:
Notice. Name. Next.

• Notice what’s happening

• Name it without judgment

• Next—return to your duty

No spiraling. No story. Just reset.

4. Evaluate the Right Way

After competition, don’t ask:

• “Did we win?”

• “Did I play well?”

Ask:

“Did I do my duty?”

Because if the answer is yes…

You’re building something sustainable.

This Applies Far Beyond Sports

This isn’t just a performance principle.

It’s a life principle.

As a parent—
You don’t control outcomes.
You control how you show up.

As a leader—
You don’t control every result.
You control the culture you build.

As a person—
You don’t control everything that happens.
You control your response.

The Truth We Miss Too Often

Letting go of the outcome doesn’t make you soft.

It makes you dangerous.

Because now:

• You’re free to perform

• Free to adapt

• Free to stay present

And ironically…

That’s when outcomes tend to show up.

Final Thought

The goal isn’t to stop caring.

The goal is to care about the right things.

Do your duty.
With devotion.
And let go of the rest.

That’s where freedom lives.

That’s where better performance lives.

— Dallas and the Team at Impact-Ed

Mental Performance and Sport Psychology training has become an integral part of sports in 2026. For the past ten plus years, we have seen an increase in club sports, collegiate programs and high school athletic departments using financial resources to provide and offer this kind of training for their programs. The popularity of mental training has expanded to online platforms that give access to anyone interested a first-person account of their favorite pro athlete’s mental training in thirty second clips, or five-slide carousels with research and statistics.

With everything available to us, it is important for coaches to look at the whole scope of their teams and athletes and consider some of the other factors that might be affecting the performance of your team or individual athletes.

WHEN IT’S A SKILL DEVELOPMENT ISSUE

Skill development can look different at every age. Coaches intuitively know that every kid has a different mental, physical, and emotional timeline, but we don’t always know how to put together a practice plan that accounts for that wide variance. Quite frankly, it can be easier to assume that because a child has been playing for the same amount of time as another child in the same age group, their skillset should also be similar. Same coaching, same team, same training – and yet, one athlete will develop sport skills more quickly (or more slowly) than another. But remember, there are more factors to consider when assessing skill than sport training alone, and the younger the athlete, the more variance there will likely be. Court vision, game IQ, rules of the game, or systems are higher ordered skills that take time to develop. I’ve worked with athletes who have been repeating negative self-talk about their mental game when what they need to do is train court or field vision or study their systems better. Instead of assuming it’s a mental issue, we can look at our training or practice planning to find ways to support skill development.

WHEN IT’S A TACTICAL OR STRATEGIC ISSUE

Last Fall I had the opportunity to work with a very talented team. Culture was set, goals, team values and standards were comminicated and executed by the team leadership in place. The coaching staff had a common language, system and met regularly to troubleshoot and plan for the season. Prior to the season, we did a “pre-mortem” exercise to draw out possible setbacks, issues, mid-season challenges with school, and any other factors that might affect a competitive and winning season. We settled on three main categories and discussed possible solutions for each scenario.

Their season began with an unprecedented 11-0 start, their strongest start in program history. Then an injury, another injury, and another. Three starters, leaders and upperclassmen with season ending injuries found a spot on the sideline instead of on the floor. While there were mental performance factors involved, there were bigger things at play. Mental fortitude will get a team almost everywhere, but these coaches needed to plan tactically and strategically to pull off a season like this. And they did. Although we had done the pre-mortem exercise, the solutions we had for injuries and mid-season slump did not account for three missing starters. Two senior leaders were carrying the lion’s share of the load, and freshman and sophomores were thrust into starting positions and filling in spots they weren’t trained in.

Instead of forcing more mental load and bolstering “mental performance” tools, the coaching staff stepped in and made some big changes. Sideline management, bench chemistry, placing communication responsibilities with the leaders on the court versus the injured captains on the sideline, and perhaps one of the most effective strategic changes of the season – time out management. They continued to train competitively in practice, placed an importance on rest, recovery and fun, and finished the season with several ranked wins and a bid to the NCAA tournament. This was not a mental performance issue; it was the effort of a coaching staff who turned over every rock to find possibility in places that would benefit their team during challenges and adversity.

WHEN IT’S A COGNITIVE OR SENSORY PROCESSING ISSUE

Over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of working with many athletes with unique processing abilities. I say it that way because instead of a label or deficit, it can be their superpower. I regularly come across athletes who have been misunderstood by coaches, teachers, or parents as not paying attention or not learning a drill quickly enough, and the tradeoff is almost always negative self-talk. Labeling an athlete is the quickest way to affect their performance.

One of the most wonderful things about unique processing abilities is how fast and how much sensory information these athlete’s take in. For example, we may think an athlete is not listening or processing feedback, but what they might really be doing is scanning their environment for information. In fact, they may have an eagle eye view of the opponent’s defense and can communicate that to their team in greater detail than a coach can from the sideline. Instead of looking for the deficit or problem with their thinking, look for the gift in it and help them find an outlet that works for them and the team. These athletes also respond well to mental performance training because it helps them focus their thinking and helps to reframe the story that this skill is an asset, not a problem.

We are living in a time when access to mental performance and sport psychology information and tools are no longer for the elite or professional athletes; they are for everyone. But as we know, when we have access to tools, we must wield them responsibly. Assuming an athlete is “mental,” or “all in their head,” might be an easy way to deny the responsibility of developing areas of our own coaching that could also help the people we coach.

— Priscilla and the Team at Impact-Ed

Reflection is the force multiplier most people ignore.

Most people think improvement comes from doing more.
More reps.
More work.
More hours.

And to be fair—reps absolutely do matter.
But here’s the part most people miss:

Reps without learning? That’s just activity.

A few years ago, researchers out of Harvard studied this exact idea.

They took people learning a new task and split them into groups. One group spent their time continuing to practice. The other group was given time to step back and reflect on what they had already done—what worked, what didn’t, and what they were learning.

Both groups spent the same total amount of time.
But the outcomes were different.

The group that took time to reflect improved more than the group that just kept practicing—by about 25 percent.

Not because they worked harder.
Not because they had more reps.
But because they made better use of their experience.

This challenges a belief most of us operate from without even realizing it:

“If I just do it enough, I’ll get better.”

But learning doesn’t work that way.
Experience alone isn’t enough.

Reflection is what turns experience into learning.

It’s the process of stepping back, making sense of what just happened, and pulling out what actually matters so you can use it moving forward.

I recently heard a line on a podcast that stuck with me:

“All of learning is anti-forgetting.”

If that’s true—and there’s a lot of science to support it—then one of the most important questions becomes:

How do we not forget what we’re experiencing?

Because most of us are having valuable experiences every day—practices, games, conversations, meetings, challenges.

But without some level of reflection, those experiences fade. They blur together. The lessons get lost.

We move on to the next thing without fully extracting anything from the last.

Reflection is one of the most effective ways to interrupt that process.

It helps you hold onto what matters.
It helps you reinforce what’s working.
And it helps you adjust what’s not.

This is where I see a lot of athletes, teams, and high performers get stuck.

They live in a cycle of constant doing.
Practice. Lift. Film. Compete. Repeat.

There’s effort. There’s commitment. There’s even discipline.

But there’s very little pause.
Very little processing.
Very little intentional learning.

And then over time, progress slows. Confidence fluctuates. Performance becomes inconsistent.

Not because they aren’t working.

But because they aren’t fully learning from the work they’re already doing.

To be clear—you still need reps.

Reflection doesn’t replace doing.
It amplifies it.

Once you have experience, the return on reflection can actually exceed the return on simply adding more volume. Not always—but often enough that it should change how we think about improvement.

In other words:

The marginal gain from reflection is greater than the marginal gain from more reps.

That’s the edge.

Not more volume.

Better integration and iteration.

And the good news is, this doesn’t need to be complicated.

Reflection isn’t about writing a perfect journal entry or having some deep, hour-long breakdown.

It can be simple.
It can be quick.
But it does need to be intentional.

Here is a practical way to do it:

After a practice, game, lift, meeting, or even a conversation, take 2-5 minutes and ask yourself:

1. What went well?
2. What didn’t work / what did I learn?
3. What will I do differently next time?

That’s it.

Awareness → Adjustment → Action.

Most people chase more.
More work. More reps. More effort.

But the people who improve the fastest tend to do something different.

They don’t just accumulate experience.
They learn from it.
They make small adjustments.
They carry lessons forward.
They build on what they’ve already done instead of starting over each time.

If learning really is anti-forgetting, then reflection is one of the most practical tools we have.

Not because it’s flashy.

But because it works.

Do. Reflect. Do better.

—Dr. B and the Impact-Ed Team