You tied up, immobile, the altar and the offering both.

Offering up your conditioned self to his monstrous appetite.

Binding your wrists and speaking the sacred words so you can’t run away.

Your ego hopelessly vulnerable.

He’s exorcising the fallen ancient god who taught you your body is the locus of all human shame.

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I had already had an appointment booked for a past life regression session, and I was eager to see if there was any past life trauma preventing me from meeting my soulmate. I didn’t realize then that I had been on a first date with my soulmate just two days before.

When the hypnotherapist directed me into the past life, I found myself in a dungeon, but this dungeon was on a ship. When she asked me if I was male or female, I said, “Umm… I think I’m a mermaid?”

Prior to this experience, it had truly never crossed my mind that mermaids might have been real beings who existed alongside humans on Earth.

In the regression, I was shown that I had been kidnapped out of the deep ocean by scientists from Atlantis & had been artificially inseminated. Then I was shown how & why this happened.

Atlantean society didn’t collapse overnight, but as the Atlanteans grew more powerful, they also drifted closer & closer to patriarchy. Their society began to deteriorate as a result. In this past-life regression session, I was shown that birth rates were declining in Atlantis.

Why were birthrates declining? I imagine that as their culture degraded, fewer souls wanted to be there.

Because human women were “failing” to give birth ”scientists” became obsessed with artificial insemination & genetic tampering.

You might have heard stories or seen in your own visions beings in Atlantis who appeared to be part human, part animal. Dolores Cannon actually writes about this phenomenon in her Convoluted Universe series. She believes these beings were created as a slave species. I witnessed that in this past-life regression session as well. But in my experience, these beings were enslaved as part of an attempt to increase birthrates.

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Eventually, they turned their attention to the merpeople & began harvesting their women for genetic experimentation & artificial insemination. The babies they gave birth to were then given to families in Atlantis, while the mer women were discarded.

The merpeople were priests & priestesses who guarded Mother Ocean's energy grids. They had been working side by side with humans for centuries, serving as spiritual mentors for humanity.

Their society was built around the protection of energy grids & sacred portals beneath the ocean. As they were targeted, attacked, & kidnapped, the merpeople were driven away from their cities & temples, leaving the portals unguarded & allowing malevolent beings to infiltrate, ultimately leading to the destruction of Atlantis and the imposition of the false Matrix.

The merfolk were deeply bonded to their soulmate partners. Their soulmate love formed a vital aspect of their magic and the energetic protection they generated around Mother Ocean. When the mer women were stolen from their sacred waters, it caused psyche-altering spiritual agony and shame in their beloveds. This pain is still echoing in the Collective, creating fear and resistance for many towards the idea of meeting their soulmate.

This particularly destroyed the mermen, broke their self-worth, & made them feel as if they were unworthy of ever being with their soulmate again. So many men are walking around too full of shame to ever want to meet their beloved. This is one of the reasons that meeting your soulmate is so much more difficult now in our realm.

The mer women, rather than being remembered as sacred high priestesses & guardians of the ocean grid, were sexualized and vilified throughout history. Remembered as sirens, calling men to their death, when the complete opposite was actually true.

However, their lineage and teachings were secretly preserved in some of humanity’s ancient mystery schools. The name Meri, Mari, or Mary has been preserved throughout history as a title for womb priestesses. This spiritual lineage, which traces its ancestry to the original Meri, or mer, priestesses, eventually became known as the Rose Lineage.

If you were one of these Meris, mermaids, ocean priestesses, it’s so vital for you to heal the trauma that was implanted into your womb. For the Meris, their womb was the center of their power and connection to the Divine Mother. That’s why their wombs were attacked in such a horrific way.

If you resonate with this story and haven’t yet been able to manifest soulmate love, the trauma of the rape of the mer women needs to be healed from your womb chakra. It’s also vital that you open up spiritual communication with your soulmate to let them know you do not blame them & you are ready to meet them again & create the life of beauty & peace that was stolen from you.

To continue exploring these themes, check out my Just Worship Me membership. Inside you’ll find programs like Mermaids & the Return of the Divine Masculine, Womb, Heart, Voice, and my full past life regression program, Timeline Alchemy.

How do you feel this relates to the current decline in birth rates in Europe and the US? So many of the mistakes made in Atlantis are now being replayed for us to finally work through and heal from.

All content generated by a human (me!), not AI.

My posts may contain affiliate links, from which I may earn a small commission.

When you’re reading for pleasure, your brain enters a deeply meditative, even hypnotic state. In rhythmic, meditative, hypnotic states, you access your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind doesn’t differentiate between fiction and reality, and it essentially believes that you are the main character in whatever novel you’re reading. That’s why you get so emotionally invested in characters that only technically exist as words printed on a page.

Romance novels, especially the smutty ones, are a spiritual technology that allows you to experience the devotion, adoration, & safety of the Masculine, even if you have never had those experiences in real life.

For the Priestesses of Divine Union to awaken and call in their soulmate partner, their bodies and their nervous systems need to be attuned to receiving adoration from the Masculine.

Most young women do not have this experience.

Most young women’s first experience of male sexuality is frightening. It’s sexual abuse as children; it’s the predatory stares of older men; it’s teenage boys at school doing everything in their power to extract sexual attention from them.

When this is your experience of male sexuality from a young age, what pattern do you think is getting imprinted into your soul and living flesh around male sexuality? That’s not a rhetorical question, by the way. Take a few moments to journal on that.

A lie that has been widely told is that men just have higher sex drives than women. No one has a higher sex drive than a priestess. Men, you won’t be able to think straight for days after a priestess absolutely rides you into the ground.

But most young women and girls grow up somewhere on the spectrum of sexual exploitation. If you’re a man reading this and you think that’s an absurd claim, then you are not in touch with what it feels like to exist in a young female body in an Epstein-coded reality.

As a result, when male sexual energy hits our auric fields, we freeze, or fawn, or fight, or flee in disgust. For women who are actually attracted to men, our own horniness can blend together with our disgust and fear towards male sexuality, creating an exhausting state of psycho-sexual torture every time we’re aroused.

That’s a lot of material to unpack. Never mind, past life trauma and ancestral trauma or the collective Father Wound or the consequences of growing up under exploitative patriarchal religion. It’s easier for women just to shut down their sexuality than to descend hundreds and hundreds of times into the Underworld to rescue and sanctify their horniness.

Meanwhile, men are walking around unconsciously looking for the lost piece of their cock that was cut off at birth without their consent.

It’s really just a clusterfuck out there.

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A week ago, I dreamt of one of my soul family members.

This person was deeply beloved to me. The first soul family I encountered on my journey. A spiritual mentor who, for many years, was the key driver behind my spiritual growth. They were the first person I ever met who saw me. The kind of person who made me believe in aliens, because surely we were from the same planet? When I was struggling with anorexia, they fed me. They spent years making me laugh until I cried. And always, always, always, made me feel like I wasn’t alone on this strange planet. One night, we cut our hands and swore an oath to be blood brothers.

We will call them Star Friend.

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Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is what happens when you live in a reality that feels chronically unsafe. And because the trauma is chronic in nature, C-PTSD is incredibly hard to treat.

I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD two different times in my life. One was when I was in college, after the dysfunction of my childhood and a string of toxic and abusive relationships. The second time was after experiencing birth trauma, medical abuse, my daughter’s open heart surgery, and what turned out to be an incorrect terminal diagnosis.

My body was frozen and collapsing in on itself. I went to a sweat lodge ceremony, and when the medicine woman held herbs over my womb, I screamed so loud and for so long that I terrified everyone there. I developed stomach ulcers, acid reflux, and chronic pain. I kept saying, “I feel like a dirty gas station mop that just keeps getting dragged around,” or “I feel like a pancake that someone tried to flip too soon and just fell apart and got stuck to the pan.” I was hospitalized multiple times for unexplained pain in my back, neck, and shoulders. I was tested for lupus and dozens of other autoimmune diseases, but everything came back clear.

No amount of hours in the therapist’s office was helping me. We could discuss everything until I was blue in the face, but that didn’t change the fact that life felt terrifying. My body was stuck in a state of believing that my daughter, my only child, was going to die at any moment.

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