After almost six weeks of non-stop soccer watching, I am going through World Cup withdrawal. The World Cup has been my favorite sporting event since I was a twelve-year-old kid watching the 1994 tournament, which also took place in the US. Our family couldn’t afford camps, so most of my summers were spent splashing in the free community pool at our apartment complex or idling in front of whatever channel we could get on the antenna TV.

I bought myself one of the official World Cup books that year and followed along every game with intense zealousness. The 1994 tournament was the birth of my first (and really only) celebrity crush; I seriously thought I would grow up to marry Roberto Baggio, a striker for the Italian team, whose missed penalty kick let Brazil win that year. If I’d been in the stadium that day, I would have been that snotty, crying kid they pan to after a loss.

I fell in love with all of it – the nationalism each country brought, the unnecessary dramatics, the fact that the game just went on and on without pesky breaks, the hope that it would make soccer a bigger sport in the US, and of course the athleticism of the players. I’m not sure I needed 48 teams in this year’s tournament, but I love that it’s a sport just about every country plays. And even though the women’s tournament isn’t as big as the men’s, I appreciate that there’s an equivalent women’s tournament.

Beyond 1994, here are some more of my World Cup memories:

• I will always remember the USA women’s win over China in 1999. I had just graduated high school and watched it with a rowdy group of friends on a giant TV screen in my friend John’s basement. When Brandi Chastain shot the winning PK, I knew I was witnessing a piece of women’s history being made. Plus, those abs!!!

• I was living in Europe during the summers of the 2002 and 2006 men’s World Cups (Italy in 2002, England in 2006), and World Cup energy was everywhere on the streets. England especially is where I discovered the joy of watching a game among complete strangers.

• The vibe vuvuzelas and Shakira’s “Waka Waka” brought to the 2010 men’s World Cup in South Africa.

• My husband and I have one of our funniest stories from the 2018 men’s World Cup. We were flying out to Kalispell, Montana, with an almost-3-year-old Neko and a 1-year-old Bowie on June 30th. Flying with two young kids, we arrived at the airport well ahead of time – so much time, in fact, that we decided to stop at a TV on our way to the gate to watch a round-of-16 game between Uruguay and Portugal. We got so wrapped up in the game that we forgot why we were at the airport in the first place. By the time it ended, we realized we were past our flight’s takeoff time, and since we were nowhere near the gate, we never heard them page us. Most of you know that I am very type-A, and this isn’t the kind of thing that ever happens to me – but I love the World Cup that much. Since there’s only one direct flight a day between San Francisco and Kalispell, we had to wait several hours at SFO to fly to Missoula instead, then rent a car and drive three hours to our friends’ place in Whitefish (picking up our bags back at the Kalispell airport the next morning, since they’d gone on without us). When we called to tell our friends we’d miss dinner and instead arrive at midnight because we’d gotten too distracted watching the World Cup at the airport, they thought we were pulling their leg but no, we really were those idiots that day.

• In 2022, my husband was lucky enough to travel to Doha to watch the final between Argentina and France. He unfortunately brought COVID home to us (Neko and I both got it), but he did get to see one of the best finals ever, so we say it was still worth it.

• And finally, in this most recent men’s tournament, I loved watching so many games with my kids. One of our friends got them a FIFA sticker book, and Bowie and I went to store after store hunting for those sold-out sticker boxes. I hope they keep this 2026 book the way I’ve kept my 1994 one.

For super insightful World Cup thoughts, I loved Wesley Morris’ Cannonball episode “The World Cup Is This Summer’s Blockbuster.”

The Guardian also put together 30 images from this past World Cup. #12 is one of the most incredible photos I’ve ever seen and just a testament to the power of sport and this sporting event specifically.

I will make it to a game one day – maybe we’ll all go to Brazil to see some amazing female athletes in the Women’s World Cup next summer!

Are you a new or old World Cup fan? Share a memory!

Our family just got off the waitlist for a local community pool right in time for pool season. Neko and Bowie have already joined their swim team, so we pretty much have one kid at practice almost every afternoon. Charlie will not be joining the swim team as she is still mastering her not drowning skills but could easily spend all day at the pool if we let her. 

We’ve been members of this pool for less than 3 weeks, and we’ve gone almost every single day, so today I’m sharing all the things I’m packing in our pool bag to make sure we’ve got everything we need for long days at the pool.

Note: All Amazon links are affiliate links so I (or rather Cook Smarts) might earn like 10 cents if you buy something. No recs are sponsored – just truly what I love and recommend.

First, the pool bag(s) itself!

Instead of stuffing everything into one bag, I find that it’s easier to divide items up into two mesh bags. It’s easier to find stuff and you don’t need to take everything out to do so. I love that this bag is huge and has lots of compartments on the outside to tuck smaller items into, like sunscreen, sunglasses, flip flops, etc. I also bring along this bag, which has a bit more structure but is slightly smaller (though still very roomy). I usually stuff towels into the larger one and keep swimsuits and post-swimming clothes in the smaller one. Both were under $20 on Amazon and have held up incredibly well to lots of pool and beach trips over the last 2 years. The mesh is great to keep air circulating for all the wet items and to not bring home a collection of sand from the beach.

Towels

While we do have a few beach towels, they are heavy and take up so much room. I much prefer thinner Turkish towels, similar to the ones here, which are light and quicker to dry.

So many tubes of sunscreen

Rather than have kids impatiently wait their turn for the sunscreen and then do a bad job of putting it on because they are in a rush to get into the pool, I simply carry a ridiculous number of sunscreens in our bag.

Now the tough question: mineral vs. chemical? I am still trying to understand how worried we should be about the chemicals in many sunscreens* so our family mostly uses mineral sunscreens just to be on the safe side. My preferred one is Baby Bum’s SPF 50 mineral sunscreen; of all the mineral sunscreens we’ve tried (and we’ve tried a lot but clearly not all), it rubs in the most easily. I do have a chemical sunscreen that I love and use it just for faces. It’s Supergoop’s Unseen Sunscreen and it’s a gel that has the smoothest texture. It rubs in so easily, which is why we’ve continued to use it even though it is a chemical one. It is expensive but I’ve heard that e.l.f.’s Invisible Sunscreen is a great dupe and much less expensive. 

*Who knew that what type of sunscreen to wear is a complicated question? This is another area where I cannot tell if we’re being too alarmist or if the FDA is seriously behind in regulating sunscreen (and skincare) ingredients but if you want to read more, this Time article is a good place to start. Recently, I am also learning about why European and Asian sunscreens are better than the ones found in America.

Lots more sun protection

As a teen, I barely wore any sunscreen and instead slathered tanning oil all over my body so that I could better absorb the sun’s rays (though I’m not sure the oil really had any effect on that – it was really just the sheer absence of any sun protection that probably made the difference). I have fairly dark skin so I rarely got sunburned but it doesn’t mean that I probably don’t have some level of skin damage from all those years of unprotected sunning. But now I am old, just a little wiser, and very concerned about my aging skin and want to cover everything. 

Regardless of what type of sunscreen you use, the best way to protect skin is just clothing so rash guards for everyone! Charlie in the past insisted on just wearing just a tiny little bikini bottom but after the smallest patch of sunburn a few weeks ago, she is on Team Coverage (also at 5 years old, we are trying to introduce the concept of just a little modesty). I just picked up this Title Nine rash guard in the blue and love that it has some pockets for I guess all the sunscreen I’ll be chasing my kids around with? I also pack an oversized white cotton button-up to wear over my bathing suit outside of the pool.

My favorite bathing suits

I much prefer a two piece to a one, mainly because it’s so much easier to go to the bathroom in but after 3 babies, I like a high-waisted bottom. I do not understand why bathing suits often cost as much as they do – seriously how can so little fabric cost so much? – but I have splurged on the two pieces from Left on Friday, and I never want to buy a different bathing suit. The fabric is buttery with just the right amount of stretch and the bottoms are perfect for whatever tummy you have. I have the Sunday Top and the Hi Tide bottom and wish I could have them in every color, and even though they’re often covered by a rash guard, they just feel so good on, which is something you rarely hear anyone say about a bathing suit.

All the other random items in my gigantic pool bags

• Dry bags (yes, I have bags within bags) for storing wet bathing suits. (Left on Friday suits do come with their own dry bag!)

• Packing cubes to organize everyone’s bathing suits and post-pool clothes (yes, even more bags within bags)

• Snacks kept cold in this 2 in 1 cooler / lunch bag (geez, even more bags)

• Kids swimsuits and their favorite goggles - these new straps are so much easier for kids to adjust on their own than the usual silicone ones

• An assortment of pool toys

• Lotion for after showering because the chlorine really dries your skin

• Mini first aid kit because kids are always scraping or stubbing their toes on the hard pool surfaces 

• Flip flops, sunglasses and a hat (for me)

• A fun-to-read book in a Ziploc bag so it doesn’t get wet (yet even more bags!)

So yes, this summer will definitely include a lot of packing and unpacking of bags, but it’ll also include a lot of fun at our new favorite place!

Previous post: What’s Making Me Happy - April / May

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Beyonce’s new album

I had saved listening to this album until post surgery when I had no interruptions. I made myself as comfortable as I could on the couch, put on my headphones, and just let Queen Bey’s voice transport me for 80 minutes. This album transcends genre, offering a kaleidoscope of sounds from country, gospel, rock, hip hop, even opera, and all of it blended together. I didn’t love every song, but I have many of them on repeat since that first listen. If it’s been awhile since you just sat down and listened to a full album while doing nothing else, do it for this album. 

I can’t pick a favorite, but these gave me so many feelings:

• The song that makes me want to run fast: YA YA

• The song that makes me want to cry: Protector

• The song that I’ll be belting out while on a long drive with my husband: II Most Wanted

NPR’s Tiny Desk concerts

NPR’s Pop Culture Happy Hour is my favorite podcast of all time (my life’s dream is to watch a rom com with co-host Linda Holmes). They end each Friday episode with a round of what’s making me happy, which has been the inspiration for these posts. A few weeks ago Stephen Thompson, one of NPR’s music critics, said that producing Chappell Roan’s Tiny Desk concert was what was making him happy. Roan sings Femininomenon, one of my favorite songs to run to in 2023, so I was excited to watch that. And then with a little more time on my hands than usual, I went deep into the Tiny Desk archives. If you’ve never seen one, they’re a 20 to 30 minute concert that takes place at a tiny desk in NPR’s Washington D.C. studios. They’ve had big names like Taylor and Adele but also feature less mainstream artists, international artists, and a wide range of genres. In my digging two of my favorite discoveries were performances by the Broadway casts of SIX and The Lion King. The notes that Jasmine Forsberg as Jane Seymour’s hits in Heart of Stone sounds unbelievable. If you can’t see the show, these are the next best things! 

Watching The Voice with my kids

A few weeks ago, we were driving home from somewhere and Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide came on through Spotify. It is one of my all-time favorite songs, and I started singing along and told the kids that I had just watched probably my favorite cover of the song on this show called the Voice. The Voice is NBC’s singing reality competition show and it is in its 25th season. I have watched every episode, every season. It is total enjoyable comfort TV for me, and I cannot believe I have waited this long to introduce it to my kids. When we got home, I showed them Madison Curbelo’s cover of Landslide. They loved her performance and asked if they could watch the show with me, so the next day I queued up the first episode of this recent season, and Neko and Bowie were immediately hooked. Neko enjoys the performances and Bowie is obsessed with the judges, so now we’re watching a few performances every day to catch up to where they currently are in the season. It fills my heart to share something that has brought me so much joy with the kids and also find a non-kid show to watch with them that’s mostly wholesome and also exposes them to a wide variety of personal stories.

Again, here is a full playlist on YouTube.

Have you discovered some great music recently? What do you have on repeat? Please share with me! Hit reply if you’re on email or leave a comment (a login link will be sent to your email - sorry it’s such a pain!).

Previous post: 53.5 Hours on a Train with My Kids

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It sounded like such a unique trip, and I immediately put it on our family’s travel bucket list, but I also knew it did not sound like something Tim would be interested in. Being stuck on a train for 3 days and 2 nights (when we could have easily reached our destination in 4 hours via airplane) would not be my husband’s idea of a fun vacation. 

Now fast forward to last fall when I was starting to plan our family’s school break trips. It so happened that Tim’s work schedule was going to prevent him from joining us for Neko’s spring break over the first week of April this year, so it seemed like the perfect time to slot in this trip. Just me and 3 kids on a train for 52 hours …

When people asked me what we were doing for spring break, I excitedly shared our travel plans, which was often met with bewildered stares and trepidation-filled comments, like, “Wow, that’s going to be a long time on a train with kids.”

Oh yes, I know that is a long time, and I felt the same wariness. I could easily imagine the description of our adventure being “Murder on the California [Non] Express” (spoiler: the mom did it) with the kids asking, “How much longer?” exactly 15 minutes into our trip and the same question being asked at 15 minute intervals over 52 hours and my initial patience turning into dread and then anger and our crew of 4 devolving into COMPLETE AND UTTER MELTDOWN MODE WHILE WE ARE STUCK ON A TRAIN WITH 50 HOURS TO GO.

So yes I wasn’t oblivious to the possibility that our vacation could turn out to be a total disaster.

But my doubts were overruled by my greater sense that this could be one of the best trips I ever take with my kids. Charlie was on the cusp of turning 5, Bowie was almost 7, and Neko was 4 months shy of turning 9. They’re all at an age where traveling with them is more fun than a chore. I know that not too far in the future, they will prefer to hang out with their friends (and electronic devices if we ever let them own one) over each other and their parents. For now, they still view the world with pure earnestness and would see living on a train for 3 days as an adventure. They enjoy each other’s company (most of the time) and can still be entertained by good ol’ fashioned non-screen activities. The time felt just right for this trip. If anything, I was trapping them on a train to have them to myself for 3 uninterrupted days while I still could.

Since this was something I had never done before, I did a lot of internet research to plan and prepare. I’ll share the answers to most of the questions I had below and of course a recap of our actual time on the train. 

How is the train laid out?

The California Zephyr is made up of Amtrak’s double decker Superliner train cars.

California Zephyr Train Car Layout

There are usually 2 to 3 coach cars for coach seating and another 2 to 3 cars with 3 different types of sleeping accommodations: roomettes, bedrooms, and family bedrooms. 

Between the coach cars and the sleeper cars are two cars with communal space. There is an observation / lounge car that features windows extending up to the ceiling for grand views during your ride. Anyone can visit the lounge car and choose between seats that face the windows or booths with tables that can seat groups of 4. The lower level of the lounge car also has a small cafe where you can buy drinks and snacks (like candy bars, chips, Cup ‘o Noodles), a few additional booth tables, and a restroom. 

The lounge car

Next to the lounge car is the dining car, which houses 18 tables that can seat 4 people each. If you’re not in a group of 4, you will be seated with others to maximize seating. While this may make some people nervous, think of dining with strangers as part of the charm of train travel.

There are also luggage cars for checked luggage and of course engines to power it all. 

If you want to get a visual tour of the train, I highly recommend this video. There are many YouTube videos sharing people’s experiences on the Zephyr and the quality really varies. This one is not too long and well shot. I watched it with the kids while we were still in California to give them a sense of what the train would be like.

What is the Zephyr’s route?

Although the termini of the Zephyr is Chicago and Emeryville, you can of course get on / off at any of the 35 stops along the way. Several of the stops allow for fresh-air breaks, so you can get off the train and stretch your legs. Some stops are quite long so you could even take a short walk, which is what I did when we pulled into Denver. 

You can choose to travel east to west or west to east or of course, do both and make it a round trip. We met many people on the train who had taken the Zephyr multiple times; I especially loved meeting a group of women who were old friends and traveled often on the Zephyr together.

California Zephyr’s 35 stops

I’m not sure how frequently the schedule changes, but if you take it east to west, it’ll depart from Chicago at 2PM and arrive in Emeryville 2 days later ~5PM. If you take it west to east, it’ll depart from Emeryville at ~8AM and arrive in Chicago 2 days later at ~3PM. Amtrak times the route so that you enjoy the most beautiful scenery on the second day. This is when the train runs through Colorado, and you’ll watch the train climb through the Colorado Rockies and alongside the Colorado River.

The Colorado River

We considered taking the train out to Chicago and possibly making a stop in Lincoln or Omaha for a day or two before reaching Chicago. Unfortunately, the arrival time in Lincoln was 3 in the morning and 5 AM for Omaha, and dragging 3 kids off the train in the middle of the night in a city we weren’t familiar with just did not sound like a good idea. Plus that meant getting back on the train during those early hours to make it to Chicago, so I nixed our aspirations for additional midwest exploration.

I have no real good reason for it but I ultimately decided to take the train east to west. Originally I bought tickets to stop for a day in Denver to visit my in-laws. The train arrived at a better time, around 7:30 in the morning. It was a hedge for if the trip was going horribly, at least we could break the train portion up but then I thought about lugging kids and luggage on/off a train twice by myself and decided we would just bite the bullet and go straight from start to finish. 

What accommodations are on the Zephyr?

With coach seating and 3 types of sleeper accommodations, there are 4 types of tickets for the Zephyr. 

Coach

These are the cars filled with the seats you typically see aboard most shorter distance Amtrak trains. There are 4 seats per row, separated by an aisle, so everyone is either in an aisle seat or a window seat. They have way more legroom than airplane seats and recline pretty far back but definitely not enough to transform into a fully flat bed. Most of the seats are upstairs but there are a few on the lower level. All restrooms for the coach cars are located on the lower level.

Sleeper accommodations

To get a sense of how the sleeper car is laid out, here is a diagram. As you can see among the 3 types of sleeper accommodations, there are significant differences in amount of space and amenities included.

• Roomettes: Each roomette is enclosed and has 2 wide-ish chairs that face each other. It reminded me of a larger telephone booth, so they are not roomy. Although it can accommodate two people, because it is enclosed, it does feel like it could be quite claustrophobic for two people to share for a long time. In the evening, an attendant can recline the two chairs to create a bed and then flip down basically a deep shelf to create a top bunk that one climbs up with a ladder. While a roomette advertises itself as accommodating 2 people, I usually saw it being occupied by only 1, especially if it was a senior citizen. It would require quite a bit of mobility to make it up to that top bunk so if you’re traveling with just 1 kid, a roomette would work. Roomettes do not have private bathrooms.

• Bedrooms: Unlike roomettes, bedrooms span most of the width of the train car with the aisle / hallway outside of the bedroom (they’re basically the width of 2 roomettes). There is a sofa and a chair that face each other. Each bedroom has a small vanity / sink area and a private bathroom with a handheld shower head over the toilet. They are the only accommodations with in-room bathrooms; all the others rely on shared bathrooms. At night, the sofa becomes a twin-size-ish bed and like the roomette, there is a deep shelf that can come down to create a top bunk. Some adjacent bedrooms have a sliding door between them and you can request to open it to create a bedroom suite, going back and forth between 2 bedrooms, similar to adjacent hotel rooms with a door between them. According to the site, each bedroom can accommodate 2 people though we could have easily had all 3 kids in 1 bedroom, at least at this age. It would be different when they’re no longer little kid-sized. 

• Family bedroom: Family bedrooms are located in the bottom levels of sleeper cars and can accommodate 4 people. Each sleeper car has just 1 family bedroom, so they sell out quickly. Similar to bedrooms, they also have a couch and chair that face each other, but it looks like both the couch and chair recline to create an L-shaped bed at night for 2 people to sleep in and then 2 upper bunks that can be flipped down. These rooms are wider than a regular bedroom since they span the full width of the train but are not as deep as a bedroom. Unlike regular bedrooms, it does not have its own in-room bathroom. We never saw this room but did meet a family of 4 staying in the family bedroom. They did mention it was a tight squeeze and definitely would not have been doable if their kids were fully grown. 

For a visual comparison of a coach seat, roomette, and bedroom, I found this YouTube video to be the most helpful.

To see a family bedroom layout, check out this video.

How much do Zephyr tickets cost?

The cost between coach and sleeper accommodations are definitely significant but if you don’t mind the lack of privacy and are a good sleeper, I thought the coach seats looked just fine. Plus, everyone has access to the lounge car, where you can enjoy expansive views from either side of the train, eat a meal at a table, and just stretch out. 

A ticket in sleeper accommodations does include meals in the dining car and also access to the lounge at Union Station in Chicago. The lounge had lots of good snacks, but you would definitely need to eat a lot of snacks to make up for the price between a sleeper and coach ticket. 

Prices do vary by season so to give you a sense of cost (as of May, 2024), here is a comparison table for a few different dates that I plugged into the Amtrak site. These are all traveling from Chicago to Emeryville, but I imagine going the other direction should be fairly comparable in price. 

Departing Date

Coach (per person)

Roomette (up to 2 adults)

Bedroom (up to 2 adults)

Family Bedroom (2 adults, 2 kids)

Friday, 8/2 - weekend, during peak summer season

$263

$1,481

$3,222

Sold out, so no price available

Wednesday, 10/2 - fall, which apparently has some of the best scenery

$120

$1,285 

$3,222

$1,912

Friday, 1/10 - middle of winter, non-holiday time

$99

$775

$1,700

$2,231

Tuesday, 4/1 - spring and similar to the time we went

$99

$1,121

$2,323

$2,613

While I considered 2 roomettes or a family bedroom for the four of us, I ultimately splurged and chose two adjoining bedrooms. Having our own private bathroom was important to me and I wanted us to be on the upper level of the train, and bedrooms were the only option that checked both those boxes. Two bedrooms cost us $4,788, so this was not a cheap trip. We clearly could have spent a lot less with coach seats or still less by choosing 2 roomettes or the family bedroom but when you have a 4 year old who still has frequent accidents (so sorry to call you out Charlie), I basically paid a huge premium to not clean up pee in the aisle of an Amtrak. 

I was especially happy to have our own bathroom by the last day of the trip. Several of the shared bathrooms were no longer in service due to people trying to flush items that do not belong in fragile piping! 

With such a wide range of ticket prices, hopefully one works for your travel budget.

What did I pack for the train ride?

I struggled packing for this trip. Since we first had 3 days in Chicago where the forecast was rain and snow, we needed to pack lots of bulky warm-weather clothes and rain boots. We wouldn’t need those on the train so those items got packaged up in our 2 carry-on-sized rollaboards, which were each stored away on the luggage rack in our bedroom. However, if we had brought more luggage, they would have needed to be checked or if you weren’t worried about theft, just left in the luggage storage area on the lower level of your train car. The bedrooms have very limited storage space.

All the items we needed for the train trip - 2 changes of day clothes, bedtime clothes, and toiletries - were packed up into my favorite packing cubes and placed into a light duffle that we could easily access while on the train. I am always worried about being cold so I packed mostly warm clothes but the train was definitely not cold, and we would have been fine in just light tops and bottoms. One day Charlie got so warm in the lounge car, which basically becomes a greenhouse during the day with all of the windows, that I just let her go topless.

Before the trip I had splurged on a pair of Birkenstock clogs. I had been eyeing them for a while, and they were the perfect train shoe - easy to slip on for walking around on the train and then off for lounging in our bedroom.

I also of course stuffed a whole backpack full of activities to keep the kids entertained. I actually ended up with more than I needed but in this case overpacking on the activities seemed like a better outcome than not having enough. 

Here’s what I packed in our activities bag:

• Card games: Port Royal, UNO, and Eye Found It (this one was new and therefore novel and enjoyed by all the kids)

• Activity books: Highlights’ Jumbo Book of Hidden Pictures, Brain Games Puzzles for Kids, and Crossword Puzzles for Kids

• Neko’s Kindle that we loaded with the next book from the Keeper of the Lost Cities series, which she cannot put down once she starts

• An iPad with new picture books, borrowed on the Libby App, for Bowie and Charlie

• Arts and crafts: good ol’ fashioned pipe cleaners; sketchbooks, coloring books and markers; and an easier and harder paint by sticker books

• Other items: travel chess, travel tangram

Playing Eye Found It

One of hundreds of rounds of UNO

My pipe cleaner glasses

o one wants to deal with hangry kids so I did purchase some snacks in Chicago but we actually didn’t really need them. The meals on the train were more than filling, and because we weren’t getting a lot of physical activity, the kids and I were less hungry than usual. 

I also packed a spare tote bag that traveled with us when we went into the dining and lounge cars so we could easily port our activities, snacks, water bottles, and any valuables around with us.

The one thing I didn’t pack that I wish I had was a physical map of the US. It would have been a great tool to give the kids a small geography lesson as we traveled through 7 different states. 

I also wished I had packed more cash so that I could better tip the two dining car attendants and our train car attendant.

Boarding & initial impressions

We left Chicago on a Wednesday after 3 fun days of exploring. Our train was scheduled to leave at 2PM, and we arrived an hour before our departure time. Union Station is a large train station and by the time we walked to where we needed to go, we had about 45 minutes until departure. With sleeper accommodations, we were given access to Amtrak’s first class lounge, which offered an assortment of kid-approved snacks. One of the employees made sure to send the kids off with many bags of gummy bears, which of course they were thrilled about.

I often make life harder on myself than I need to, but for once, I chose ease and used Amtrak’s Red Cap baggage service to drive us and our luggage from the lounge to the train track, which would have been a 10 minute walk with kids and luggage. Our driver even took pity on me traveling alone with 3 kids and carried all of our luggage up to our bedroom. (I promise this is not a commercial for Amtrak.)

I knew it was not going to be a spacious bedroom, but I will admit my first impression upon seeing our bedroom was, “Well this is small.” However, the kids were absolutely charmed by our 2 rooms and immediately started to unpack their packing cubes and settle into their moving home. They loved discovering the 6” wide “closet,” which could accommodate no more than 2 jackets.

They asked if they could go explore, and I said yes but 1 minute later, they were returned to me by our attendant saying kids are not allowed to be on their own on the train. I was not thrilled to hear that and hoped they would ease up on that restriction later on in our ride – I wanted the kids to be able to carve out some adventure for themselves without my supervision at all times.

After I did a little bit of unpacking and settling in, we all went together and walked through the entire train. To get from one train car to the next, you press or kick a big button to open the doors between the cars and Charlie was initially very scared to traverse these 2 feet between shaking train cars (and also just trying to balance while walking on a moving train) but by the evening, she was assuredly kicking open the doors.

Since they weren’t allowed to roam around without my supervision, they got rid of me by declaring one of the bedrooms theirs, and I was to stay out (so much for trying to trap them on a train to hang out with me). They worked on their paint by sticker books, played endless rounds of UNO, and sculpted creations with pipe cleaners. Meanwhile next door, I read Bill Bryson’s “A Walk in the Woods” on my Kindle and enjoyed the scenery out of my window. Stretching out on the sofa that I had all to myself, I no longer felt like the bedroom was too small.

Even though the first part of the trip was through the flat midwest, I found the simplicity of this landscape to be peaceful and quietly beautiful. I was surprised by how often the train ran right next to backyards. I saw kids playing on their swing sets and felt like a voyeur being able to look into people’s homes from the perch of my moving bedroom. 

Eating on the Zephyr

Shortly after our departure, there was an announcement for all sleeper car riders to return to our seats because a dining car attendant would be walking through to take dinner reservations. Sleeper accommodations, while very expensive, do include all breakfasts, lunches, and dinners in the dining car. Dinners require reservations but breakfasts and lunches were first come, first serve.

Coach ticket holders could also eat in the dining car. They just needed to pay a la carte for their meals, which were $45 for a 3-course dinner, $25 for lunches, and $20 for breakfasts (again all prices as of April, 2024).

When we walked into the dining car for our first dinner, I really felt like we were walking into a restaurant. Each table was adorned with a white table cloth, a vase holding a single red rose, a bread basket and utensils wrapped up in white cloth napkins.

On our first night, we ordered the steak, the salmon, and two grilled cheeses and both the steak and the salmon were better than most hotel wedding meals I’ve had. They were tender and flavorful, and I was pleasantly surprised. Between four people, we got to sample almost everything on the menu over 3 days, and everything was pretty good. I’m not sure how often the menus change, but these were the selections during our trip.

Our dinner menu

Over the 6 meals we spent in the dining car, we got to know our 2 dining car attendants. One of them had been working the Zephyr line since 1989. The other, Carrol, is the woman I want to be when I grow up. She was a no-nonsense, tell-it-like-it-is type of lady, and my kids were so scared of her. She did not like them playing games at meals because it would mess with the efficiency of her expertly run dining room, so every time I saw her walking towards our table, I would whisper, “Carrol is coming,” and they would frantically clean up whatever game they had started to play.

Passing time on the Zephyr

Our meals in the dining car punctuated our days. We would alternate from hanging out in our 2 bedrooms to hanging out in the lounge car during the hours between meals. I found that the time passed by so quickly. We rotated through our various activities and chatted with others on the train. I indulged in a short nap each afternoon while the kids watched an episode of Dr. Seuss Baking Challenge.

Of all the items I brought onto the train, our two paint by sticker books definitely got the most use, and we even shared some of the sheets with other passengers on the train when we saw them eyeing our creations. That would have been an activity that I would never do at home, worrying that I had other things on my to-do list that needed my attention. But train time felt totally different. I felt no pull towards productivity. There was no wi-fi and often there wasn’t even reception, so I mostly had my phone on airplane mode. It felt like a return to a simpler, slower time, and I was completely on board (pun intended) for all the rounds of games and quiet art projects.

Paint by Stickers

My Mona Lisa by stickers

I did worry that we wouldn’t be able to get a seat in the lounge car during some of the more scenic passes, but that wasn’t the case at all. We had a front row seat through all the most beautiful parts of the Colorado Rockies, Utah, and Tahoe. I always made sure we weren’t occupying these communal seats for too long so others could get a turn but there was only one time when the lounge car was completely full. We spent most of our time at the tables where we could spread out our games and art while still taking in the scenery outside. Some of my favorite photos and videos from the trip are ones that I took of the kids casually playing a game at the table with stunning landscapes of America speeding by in the background. 

A scene of Utah

Sleeping on the Zephyr

When bedtime rolled around, we asked the attendant in our train car to come by and help us turn our sofa into a bed. I tried very hard to do it myself but after I broke out into a sweat, I accepted that I was going to need some assistance. He helped us get sheets and pillows from the upper bunk and folded down the sofa to create a bed that was somewhere between a twin and full-sized mattress. We decided to forgo the top bunks so Neko and Charlie shared a bed and I shared one with Bowie in the other bedroom. 

We brushed our teeth at the sink in our bathroom. We read books, I made sure the kids peed, and then we closed the blackout-ish curtains and the door to our rooms. Despite the small space, Bowie and I did our evening stretching routine on our bed before we declared it lights out. It was a cozy fit but the movement of the train aided in my sleep despite Bowie’s limbs smacking me awake multiple times.

In the mornings, our attendant came around to help us turn our bedroom back into a space where we could resume all of our daytime activities. 

My final thoughts

Our ride on the Zephyr was truly a unique trip. I would call it once-in-a-lifetime except that all of us agreed that we would love to do another long-distance train trip together. It wasn’t until the end of our trip when we were getting delayed by track bottlenecks that we felt a bit anxious to get off the train. We ended up getting into Emeryville an hour and a half later than expected, but for 52 hours we were completely content to be traveling via locomotive together.

I loved being in train mode with the kids. I had no daily demands, I had nowhere else to go, and so I just got to delight in this special time of family togetherness. Since the kids were happy to spend time alone without me, I even had time to recharge and stepped off the train feeling energized by pride – I did it! I checked off an item on our family’s travel bucket list while giving our family this experience to deeply connect. Hopefully my kids will remember this trip for a long time. I know I will.

Questions about the Zephyr or our trip? Hit reply if you’re on email or leave a comment (a login link will be sent to your email - sorry it’s such a pain!).

We made it!

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Read previous post: My One Travel Essential

The world is really made up of 2 types of people: 1) those who already use packing cubes for traveling and 2) those who haven’t yet discovered how wonderful packing cubes are. 

Packing cubes were probably originally made for the anal retentive (another group that I am a proud member of) but I really feel like their benefits could be enjoyed by anyone. Like, if TSA had to search your luggage, wouldn’t you love for them to find all the contents inside neatly organized into packing cubes instead of having your much-too-old underpants tumble out in front of strangers? Let life be messy, let travel be messy (it inevitably is) but let’s not let our travel contents be messy! 👏👏👏

I use these organizers for keeping clothing categories separated (duh). I usually have a bag for day clothes and then another for items like workout clothes, undergarments, and socks. Now that so much of my travel is with the kids, they each get one before a trip to fill up with what they’ll need, and then it’s easy to just hand them their cube of stuff when we’ve arrived at our destination.

Neko recently had to pack for a 2-night school camping trip, and she asked if she could use our packing cubes for the trip. I can now rest my parenting efforts knowing that I’ve at least passed on my organizational habits to my daughter.

Not only do I think packing cubes are a must though, I also think there is 1 clear winner. Now I haven’t tried all of the packing cubes out there but I have tried a lot and REI’s Expandable Packing Cubes are my favorite. They have 2 sets of zippers, which I haven’t found in any other packing cube. Basically there is 1 zipper to close the bag and then another zipper to really compress all the contents inside so you end up being able to pack much more than you would without them. 

They really make packing just a bit more fun and a whole lot more organized for me, and I never take a trip without them.

Are you a packing cube enthusiast? Do you have a travel essential to recommend? Let me know in the comments (they’ll send a login link to your email — sorry it’s a bit of a pain!) or just hit reply if you’re reading this in your email.

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Read previous post: 3 Days in Chicago with My Kids

I wasn’t able to send out a new note last Sunday. The week before had been the kids’ spring break and I was the solo parent with them on 6 days of travel so there was just no time to write. We flew to Chicago for the first part of our trip and stayed there for 3 nights. I picked Chicago because it is the start (or the terminus depending on which way you’re going) of Amtrak’s California Zephyr train, which is what we took to get back home to California.

The train ride took 53.5 hours, and I will devote an entire post to this bucket list travel item soon but I wanted to share a rundown of our time in Chicago today.

Even though it rained every day and snowed on our last day, we had a great time exploring Chicago and could have easily stayed an entire week without running out of things to do. There were so many museums to pick from but I allowed us to choose just 1 destination each day so that we could also see friends, enjoy the comforts of our hotel, and just immerse ourselves in the surroundings and energy of a big city. 

I love traveling with my children because of how easily excited and occupied they are. I have learned there is no need to overpack the itinerary. Some of the highlights of their trip was counting the floors of all the tall buildings they saw, getting to pull the cord on the bus for our stop, getting to carry their own umbrella, or being allowed to ride the elevator in the hotel alone without me. I find their simple eagerness so delightful, and it makes me see a different purpose for travel.

On our first day, we took advantage of the only few dry hours we had over our entire trip to visit the play area in Maggie Daley Park, the northeast corner of Millenium Park that has a multitude of recreational offerings. I was hoping to take lots of photos at The Bean, which was on the way, but it was unfortunately fenced off for upgrades. Still, there was so much communal green space throughout the park, and I could easily imagine how glorious it would be to hang out there on a warm, sunny day. 

After seeing friends for lunch and then swimming with them at our hotel, we took the public bus to the Shedd Aquarium. Our timing was a bit off and we ended up there just 1 hour before closing. Even though we didn’t get to see as much as we would have liked, we also got a lot of the aquarium to ourselves as it emptied out. It was my first time seeing beluga whales, and it felt magical to be staring at these large swimmers gliding through their huge tank without other humans around. Unfortunately, my reverie was broken when I realized my kids had disappeared elsewhere and I spent 2 nervous minutes trying to find them.

We ended the evening with a bus ride to our dinner destination, a Japanese BBQ restaurant where the kids got to grill their food and make s’mores at the dinner table. It was then a rainy walk home where Charlie of course announced that she needed to pee 2 blocks from the hotel. We raced back under our umbrellas and luckily ended up accident-free back in our hotel room.

The only items on the agenda for the next day was The Field Museum, a natural history museum, and a trip to the Hyde Park neighborhood to visit our good friends. The Field Museum is best known for the skeleton of Sue the T-rex, which is the most complete Tyrannosaurus rex in the world. The kids all wanted to see a 3D movie about Sue, and while I thought Charlie was too young for it, I knew the older kids would get a lot out of it so we went. My suspicions were right – the kids had never seen anything in 3D, and the subject and the 3D dynamics of this 20 minute show was a lot for Charlie, who ended up scared and in my lap as Sue fought and maimed other dinosaurs like she was in the theater with us.

Kids ready for their first 3D experience!

When we finally entered the hall with Sue’s skeleton, she burst into tears and asked to leave right away, disappointing the other kids. We ended up spending the rest of our Field Museum time in the much gentler Hall of Gems and Naturewalk, filled with displays of taxidermied animals and birds. This was the one moment in our trip where I really wish I had another adult with us. With an almost 4 year spread across the kids, they are all at different developmental stages for how they could and wanted to experience a museum and another adult guide would have made the visit more enjoyable for everyone.

After just 2 hours, there was still so much to see but hangriness set in. I may have (i.e., I definitely) yelled at my children in front of a classroom of kids on a field trip but hunger and impatience got the best of me. Luckily there was a homestyle Italian restaurant right by our hotel, where the kids dug into heaping portions of pasta and chicken parmesan after I apologized for my bad behavior, and I inhaled a delicious Italian beef sandwich (after watching and loving The Bear, I couldn’t leave Chicago without eating one). If you’re ever looking for a good, simple Italian meal in River North, I highly recommend finding Bongiorno’s Italian Deli & Pizzeria. It’s located in the lobby of a big building (405 N. Wabash) so it’s a bit hard to find but the food was really good. We didn’t have room to try the pizza so I guess I’ll need to plan another trip to Chicago.

On the steps of the Field Museum

We all felt much better with our bellies fortified and after a brief break back at the hotel, headed out to see our friends in Hyde Park. We went with them to pick up their 3YO from daycare, took advantage of their washer and dryer to do some laundry before our long train ride, and enjoyed a huge spread of takeout from a Chinatown restaurant. The kids happily played while the adults caught up with one another; life doesn’t get much better than an evening of good company and good food. 

Unfortunately, our evening ended with Bowie throwing up his chicken parmesan in the lobby of our fancy hotel. His tummy wasn’t feeling great at dinnertime, and it all came up as soon as we got out of our rideshare and stepped foot inside. I have never experienced such kindness from strangers. I understand that it was their job to be nice to us, but they went above and beyond with how sympathetic and helpful they were. Brandon the bellhop rubbed his back as he heaved out his lunch and told him to just get it all out and Eden, a member of the housekeeping staff, made sure we didn’t worry about the mess. I felt terrible and went back down to thank them again after I got Bowie settled into bed. Brandon told me, “I have 7 kids and 13 grandkids. I’ve been there.” Being a parent has so many difficult moments but at least you know that every parent is bonded through the shared experience of those difficult moments. 

Luckily Bowie woke up the next day feeling just fine. We visited the hotel pool one last time to make sure we got our bodies moving before boarding our train at 2. All of us were sad to leave Chicago but we were very excited for the next leg of our spring break journey!

Come read along with me on Goodreads!

The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks-Dalton

This was a moving and haunting read, a disturbing fictional tale that could become our reality as we edge closer to the irrevocable dangers of climate change. Our main character is a girl named Wanda who is the namesake of the deadly hurricane she was born during. We watch Wanda grow and adapt to an environment that continues to collapse around her due to increasingly severe hurricanes. There is so much loss, yet Wanda never stops trying to live. This story will stay with me for a long time; as I listened to it, I kept wondering about my own physical capability to survive a climate disaster, how I would hold onto hope in an abandoned world, if there was a bit of Wanda in me. I wouldn’t be surprised if this ends up in my top 10 list of the year. 

Strength in What Remains by Tracy Kidder

This is my second Tracy Kidder biography – the first was Rough Sleepers where he follows Dr. Jim O’Connell, a heroic doctor who treats the homeless in Boston. In this book our hero is Deo Niyizonkiza, an immigrant from Burundi. Even though I took several African history courses, Burundi is a country I know nothing about; through Deo’s story I learned that it suffered a similar genocide as its neighbor Rwanda, with somewhere between 150K to 300K Tutsis murdered in late 1993. Deo was a medical student then and spent 6 months on the run, trying to escape the violent end that befell so many of his fellow Tutsis. Though he survived and managed to escape to the US, the savage brutality he witnessed can never be shaken off, yet through many guardian angels he finds not only ways to rebuild his own life but also to help heal the deep wounds in his home country. If you love inspiring biographies, give this book a try.

My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She’s Sorry by Fredrik Backman

This is my 6th Fredrik Backman book, and while I would rank it #6 of his books that I’ve read, I still really enjoyed it. It’s just that it’s competing against all of the other Backman books I’ve read, which were JUST. SO. UNPUTDOWNABLE. Our protagonist is a very precocious seven year old girl named Elsa who has a fiercely protective but also very eccentric grandmother. After her grandmother dies, Elsa is sent on a scavenger hunt by way of delivering apology letters her grandmother wrote before she died. Even though her grandmother was her best friend, these letters uncover the deeply-lived life her grandmother had before she came along and how important she was to those around her. Backman is a master of the slow reveal, and this story completely pays off in the end. I think the only reason I enjoyed it a bit less than his others was because the story includes a lot of its own mythology – a made up world between Elsa and her grandmother – and I found it distracting to the main story. If you’ve never read Backman before, I recommend first starting with A Man Called Ove or Anxious People. The ending of A Man Called Ove just broke me – I have a picture of my tear-stained face when I finished it. And Anxious People is one of my favorite books of all time.

The Guncle by Steven Rowley

This is not my usual type of book – though it deals with death and grief, it does so with more levity and humor than I usually enjoy in my novels but after 3 heavier reads, I thought it would be a good change of mood. Guncle or GUP (Gay Uncle Patrick) ends up as the temporary guardian of his niece and nephew when their mother dies of cancer and their father checks into rehab. The story is a bit formulaic – though Patrick is the one that’s supposed to be caring for his grieving niece and nephew, they are the ones who end up saving him. If you love heartwarming stories, with a splash of colorful Palm Springs characters, then this book is for you.

I did abandon one book this month. I got about an hour and a half into Glossy: Ambition, Beauty, and the Inside Story of Emily Weiss's Glossier by Marisa Metzer before deciding it was not for me. I used to have a hard time abandoning books but the sooner you bail, the sooner you can find something you actually want to spend time on.

I’m so excited to have this space to share more of my reading life with you! Are you a reader? I’d love to know some of your recent (or past) favorites. Email me or drop me a comment.

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Read previous post: No Is Always an Option

Now before you write me off as the fun police, let me explain myself. I love birthdays and I of course love a celebration but spending our weekends split up serving as a birthday party chauffeur for my kids to spend more time with the kids they already spend all week with is not how I want to spend the 2 days we have together every week. And also if I’m really being honest, I really dread dealing with the junkyard of goodie bag contents. (I am definitely a card-carrying member of the knick knack police.)

My kids, my husband, and I spend a big chunk of the school and work week apart from one another. Our mornings are rushed, and the after school routine isn’t all that relaxing either. My husband often doesn’t make it home for dinner so our family time during the week is quite limited, so unless it is their best friend’s birthday, our default RSVP is a no.

All decisions have tradeoffs. We haven’t gotten to know some of our kids’ classmates’ parents as well without this social channel, but there are plenty of other school events that bring us together. Plus as our kids have gotten older most birthday parties have evolved into just drop off affairs.

I am sure we will revisit this policy as our kids get older and are more aware of social dynamics among their friends. However, for now I’m grateful for their innocence and ignorance and that they let me hoard this family time together. I know the years where they’re still eager to hang out with their parents and each other will have an expiration date in the not-so-distant future.

I share all of this not because I think you or anyone should stop attending birthday parties; that certainly wasn’t the advice I was passing on when I mentioned that we’re just not a birthday party family to my friend. But by sharing one of the things I say no to, I gave her the freedom to skip something she was doing out of social obligation. She told me her weekends are so much freer now since they’ve adopted the same approach.

We all fall into traps of doing certain things out of expectation – sometimes social but often it’s self-imposed – but we only have so much time and space in our lives. You don’t need it, but if you’d like it, I give you the same permission to say no to whatever it is that’s just not serving you and trade it in for something that brings you more meaning and joy.

A younger me would have had more FOMO about skipping a party but middle-aged me understands a no to one thing is a yes to something else that I want to do more.

A hike we said yes to

What is something you’re trying to say no to? I’d love to know.

Previous post: What’s Making Me Happy - Feb/March

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Beyond that, here are three more things that have made me happy this last month:

New cleaning towels

I am totally that person who gets excited about new cleaning supplies! We finally got a refillery store nearby (Right on Refillery in Los Altos), and I checked it out a few weeks ago. I picked up some new cleaning solutions but my favorite purchase from there has been this 6 pack of Not Paper Towels. It was the perfect find as I’ve been meaning to retire our kitchen cleaning towels, which are stubbornly stained and stenched. These paper-towel substitutes are so much better than my previous cleaning towels and strangely get me excited about wiping up our kitchen surfaces. I had seen these products come out years ago but was worried they’d fall apart but even after putting them through the wash many times, I can see that these will last a long time in my kitchen.

Dune 2

Give me a bucket of buttered popcorn and plop me in front of a movie screen, and I am a happy camper (unless it’s horror – I am too much of a scaredy cat). I dragged my poor husband (who feels the complete opposite about being plopped in front of a movie screen) to Dune 2 on opening weekend and was absolutely transported into the world of sandworm riding, gold-dust spice harvesting, the alopecia-afflicted Harkonnen people, every single one of Florence Pugh’s headdresses, and of course, all of the hero worship for Zendaya and Timothee Chalomet. I really enjoyed the first movie but found the sequel to be a rapturous entertainment experience (though my husband’s reaction was please don’t drag me to Dune 3) and am still daydreaming about this richly imagined other world. Even if you missed the first one, just read a recap and head to your local theater – this one is definitely worth seeing on the big screen!

DEKA and new workout buddies

As I mentioned in my What I’m Bringing Into 2024 post, I set a goal of more in-person exercise this year. I had one session with a trainer at my gym in January, and based on my goals, she actually recommended that I try DEKA classes instead of working 1 on 1 with a trainer. DEKA is an offshoot of Spartan, a fitness company that produces obstacle course races that look more like military training to me. DEKA markets itself as The Decathlon of Functional Fitness, and the program/race consists of 10 zones that test your strength in different ways:

• Zone 1: 30 RAM alternating reverse lunges - 55 lb ramroller for men / 33 lb ramroller for women on your shoulders

• Zone 2: 500M row

• Zone 3: 20 box jump / step overs

• Zone 4: 25 medicine ball sit ups - 20lb for men / 14 lb for women

• Zone 5: 500m ski on a ski erg

• Zone 6: 100m farmer’s carry - 60 lb dumbbells for men / 40 lb dumbbells for women (Right now I’m using 30 lb dumbbells but hope to work up to 40!)

• Zone 7: 25 calories on an airbike

• Zone 8: 20 dead ball shoulder overs - 60 lb for men / 40 lb for women

• Zone 9: 100m tank/sled push/pull

• Zone 10: 20 RAM burpees - 44 lb ramroller for men / 22 lb ramroller for women

I’ve been going every Monday since the end of January. Since then I’ve been on such a high fro experiencing a new challenge while meeting some great new folks. I think half the class are current or ex-military folks (the instructor is ex-military and such a fit bad-ass woman). I am way slower and weaker when compared to them but that’s not my focus. My goal was to mix up my training, get stronger, and exercise with others and this class checks all those boxes. I want to die at the end of class, but I always have a smile on my face (partially because the pain is over!).

Previous post: My Rant Against Processed Foods (an Update)

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Today is going to be a fiery-Jess-on-her-soapbox email, so settle in folks.

When I think about our meal plan service, I don’t consider our competitors to be other meal plan services or even meal kit providers. All of us are trying to accomplish the same goal of helping people cook more. What we’re all fighting against are food corporations marketing the benefit of convenience in exchange for our health; they make more money when they find ways to make the food they sell to us cheaper.

I do not see the world as black and white. I realize we need some level of convenience foods. Most of us do not have time to make everything from scratch. I recognize that for so many people, especially those in lower-income and remote areas, processed foods are all that they have available to them. But I also think we’ve reached a point where food companies have taken advantage of consumers’ lack of resources and awareness, and our best form of protest is to just cook as much as we can.

I work in the food industry. I cook most of my meals. As a result, I thought I didn’t really have to read ingredient labels because I didn’t buy too many packaged goods. Plus, I also assumed the ones I did buy were fairly harmless. Like shouldn’t packaged bread just be made of flour, yeast, salt and water? Shouldn’t tortillas be similar, minus the yeast? Shouldn’t cartons of ice cream really just be cream and sugar, maybe eggs? 

I did not realize how wrong I was until I listened to the book Ultra Processed People by Chris van Tulleken, a British doctor, last year (affiliate links to Amazon | Bookshop.org). Shortly after that I came across this Business Insider article titled, Giant Food Companies are Quietly Ruining Your Favorite Snacks -- and Hoping You Don’t Notice, that echoed similar themes.

Food companies are putting more additives into our packaged foods for a variety of reasons; here are just a few:

1. To save on more expensive ingredients. I grew up eating Edy’s ice cream and looking at the ingredient label for its vanilla ice cream now, it contains (in addition to milk, cream, and sugar): corn syrup, whey, guar gum, carob bean gum, monoglycerides, natural flavor (I’m assuming that’s some version of vanilla but where exactly is the vanilla?), and annatto color. A lot of these ingredients are used to create a creamier texture without more milk and cream, which have gotten more expensive, and also to prevent it from melting as quickly, which just seems weird to me -- ice cream is meant to melt. 

2. To make the food softer and easier to chew. This makes it so that we eat it faster and therefore eat more of it. Like we could easily just gulp canned soup without taking any bites (and chewing is an important signal for your body!). 

3. To make the food last longer. I get this one. Spoiled food wastes resources but I’m not sure if our bodies were meant to ingest so many artificial preservatives.

I used to think that we didn’t have to worry about food additives because the FDA would make sure anything truly bad would be banned but it turns out the FDA is just another overextended government agency; hence a loophole was created for companies. While the FDA is supposed to approve food additives, they also allow companies to do their own self-certification to deem a substance “Generally Recognized As Safe” (GRAS), which skips the rigor of any FDA testing.

Clearly many food companies go the GRAS route and hire their own experts. The FDA doesn’t approve of everything through this secondary process, but there is so much less accountability when the company gets to hire their own team to conduct the safety evaluation. Clearly it’s in their best interest to make everything appear just fine for people to eat.

Instead, more and more concerned scientists are now doing studies to figure out if many of these newer food ingredients are indeed safe, as we see a significant uptick in metabolic and gastrointestinal issues and allergies across so many populations over the last few decades. 

I have spent the last couple of months reading many of these studies, going deep on Google searches that start with, “is x food additive safe for you,” and the problem is well, it’s the internet -- you can always find support for all the possible answers and still not know which one is the right one.

I think the answer is, we just don’t know for a variety of reasons -- many studies are done in mice; very few humans want to volunteer to be experimented on with foods that may do harm. So you’re probably wondering why I’ve written you this long email when we still just don’t know.

My argument is that probably many of these ingredients in small amounts are fine, but the problem is that they are now in so many products that it all adds up. Many of us are probably eating well beyond the amounts that these additives were studied at (if they were studied by a government body at all) because when you start looking at ingredient labels, it’s shocking the number of non-food ingredients hiding in your sour cream, your cottage cheese, your bread, your chocolate bar, the snacks you buy your kids, etc, etc.

For example, there is an additive called carrageenan. It’s an emulsifier, which is a group of additives that are used to thicken or create creamier foods. They are very commonly found in bread products, salad dressings, and dairy products. Carrageenan is derived from seaweed and therefore deemed “natural.” When I started reading labels, I found that it’s in the Costco soy milk we buy and also our favorite sour cream brand. It is in a lot of foods but scientists now urge food companies to stop using it in products after animal and human cell studies have linked it to a whole host of problems including (but not limited to) inflammation, diabetes, colon cancer and other GI issues.

This doesn’t mean that I’ve thrown away all the packaged goods in my house but it has made me a much more aware grocery shopper and also a much more frustrated one. I get so pissed that for so many people, these are the only choices due to accessibility and budget. While I can swap out for more expensive brands (that’s usually what it comes down to though there are plenty of pricier brands who still use lots of additives), that’s not an option for everyone.

I hate being an alarmist because we live in a world where there are so many things to be alarmed about but I do think this is an issue that concerns all of us but it’s one that very few people are aware of. Packaging and branding are used to distract us; and we have a government agency that’s simply not performing one of its biggest responsibilities.

My hope is that we read labels and vote with our dollars, write to food companies asking why they use these additives, and that everyone just cook more, even when it’s not the most convenient solution but selfishly, it will be the best one for your body long-term. And I highly recommend listening or reading Ultra Processed People by Chris van Tulleken (affiliate links to Amazon | Bookshop.org), especially if you or someone you love have experienced mysterious, unexplained GI issues or allergies. More and more studies are exploring the link of these ultra-processed ingredients in our diets to what’s happening (and not happening) in our guts.

The one big change I’ve made since sending this out is using the app Yuka, which was recommended in our Facebook group by a CS member after I sent out the note above. Yuka scans barcodes and gives food products a score based on a variety of factors: additives, sodium, calories, sugar, and fat. It also does beauty products but I haven’t used it too much for that though my husband’s Pantene 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner got a score of 0 — he still has a head of hair so it’s not complete poison. 😂

The app of course isn’t perfect and there are plenty of critics. At the same, for what I’m interested in, it works pretty well. My main concern is additives, so I can easily see what additives a product contains and how Yuka rates those additives (hazardous, moderate risk, limited risk, risk-free). I take all digital information these days with a grain of salt and recognize that Yuka has to apply a large degree of subjectivity for how a score is arrived at but overall, it gives me enough direction to decide whether to buy a product or leave it out of my cart. 

Since Bowie was on an elimination diet of 6 food groups (dairy, gluten, eggs, peanuts, soy, and corn, oh my!) last month, we ended up buying a lot of new products such as gluten-free breads and pastas and plant-based yogurts and milks. I had just downloaded Yuka and was scanning products with the zeal of a bride-to-be who had just been given a scan gun to add items to their wedding registry (or does that not happen anymore in the age of digital shopping?). 

Most of the gluten-free breads came back with good scores but it was hard to find one that was egg-free. Most plant-based dairy products contained thickeners and gums, which even with the help of Yuka and my own research, I’m still unclear whether they’re fine, not great or possibly bad but we just don’t know yet? 

I scanned a lot of products with very bad ratings. I left most but not all behind because well, I am human and a package of instant ramen (despite its score of 7/100) will always bring me back to my childhood. My kids love Annie’s boxed mac ‘n cheese. Unfortunately it scores a 28/100 on Yuka, but it is our go-to Monday thermos lunch (“Mac ‘n Cheese Mondays!” they cheer) so we haven’t weaned ourselves off of it yet.

Yuka app interface

Two items that have been the hardest to find “clean” versions of have been flour tortillas and plant-based milks. Apparently, it’s very hard to keep flour tortillas fresh and soft without a lot of preservatives and stabilizers, which is why the ingredient list for most flour tortillas is full of scientific words that don’t sound like food. We have tried making our own at home but I am flour-impaired and will need to train under a Mexican abuela for at least a year before I make something resembling a flour tortilla instead of a ball of colorless Playdoh. I did just learn about Rise and Puff, which makes a 4-ingredient tortilla that’s available in the refrigerated section, so I’ll be on the lookout for those.

As for the plant-based milks, most are full of texturizing and emulsifying agents to make them thick, creamy, and easily stirred into a cup of coffee or tea. I was hoping to find one without these additives but also fortified with some vitamins. So far, I’ve come up empty. I can find additive-free plant-based milks (but it will cost you a pretty penny — it seems that the fewer ingredients a product contains, the more it costs) but none are fortified with additional nutrients. 

I know that my family’s overall health does not depend on what tortilla or plant-based milk we buy but I’m angry that it’s so easy for food brands to turn foods people consume into science experiments with what feels like very little oversight. I know awareness is growing — and that was the goal of my original note. When I see brands explicitly marketing that they are additive free, it’s a signal that there are enough consumers who are aware of these issues to drive new product sales. Just like we’ve seen a huge rise in gluten-free, paleo, and vegan options over the last decade, I sense that we’ll see the same with a new category of additive-free foods.

I could drive myself crazy with this; instead I just do my best but it’s definitely time for food brands to do better. We are so very lucky that most of our food intake comes from the perimeter of the store, where there is no packaging to scan. Perhaps you could score cabbage better than zucchini, but in the end, you know it’s all food that you can recognize and it doesn’t require an ingredient list.

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Read previous post: February Book Roundup

I talk about them all below (ordered by enjoyability / impact) with the exception of “Estrogen Matters: Why Taking Hormones in Menopause Can Improve Women's Well-Being and Lengthen Their Lives -- Without Raising the Risk of Breast Cancer” by Avrum Bluming and Carol Travis. I’ll save that one for a future post all about my experience with peri-menopause.

Come read along with me on Goodreads!

The Beauty of Dusk by Frank Bruni

I first started reading Frank Bruni’s writing when he became the New York Times’ chief restaurant critic between 2004 and 2009 and attended his book reading for his 2009 memoir, “Born Round.” In this latest memoir, he writes about losing vision in one of his eyes at the age of 52. But ever the journalist, this book also tells the stories of so many people he’s come across and shares their experiences of loss too. I listened to him narrate this one but I want to go back and read it just so I can underline all of his beautiful choice of words.

How to Know a Person by David Brooks

One of my dearest friends, Markell, gifted me this book over the holidays, and I’m so glad I read it. Brooks’ book focuses on why it’s important to develop deep, rich relationships and how to do it. I didn’t always find all of the examples he provides to be the most compelling, but I really respect his intention and values in writing this book. I spent a lot of 2023 working on myself in more inward ways; this year, my goal is to focus more on creating and deepening relationships so I’ve already been using Brooks’ prompts to be more present and curious in my interactions, to talk to that stranger in the locker room, and to create more meaning in my life through these connections. I was reading the physical copy of this book while listening to Bruni’s memoir and felt that they worked well together – both books explore themes of loss and see connection as a way to fill these voids in our lives.

Glucose Revolution by Jessie Inchauspé

I mentioned last year in a Cook Smarts newsletter that I have become more and more insulin resistant and started wearing a continuous glucose monitor for a brief period of time. Between that experience, having gestational diabetes twice, and this book, I feel like I have a good set of tools for keeping my blood sugar more regulated. If you’re on social media, you probably will learn as much from Inchauspe’s @glucosegoddess Instagram account as the book because at times, the book feels like one big commercial for her IG account. That said, it’s an easy listen / read and was a good reminder for me of daily habits I can easily incorporate to “flatten my glucose curve,” a phrase you will hear a hundred times in the book.

Five Little Pigs by Agatha Christie

Thank you to my library’s Hoopla subscription for having so many Agatha Christie books on audio! I loved Agatha Christie mysteries as a teenager; I know many parts of her books have not aged well but I find the structure of Christie’s murder mysteries so comforting. They are the audiobooks I turn to when I’m waiting in line for my next listen on the Libby App (seriously, thank you public libraries!). This was not my favorite Christie but it scratched the itch, and I gobbled it up in 2 days. Caroline Crale is the wife of a philandering artist, and she is convicted for his murder. 16 years later when Crale dies, Poirot is asked to reopen the case by the victim’s daughter after she receives a letter from her mom declaring her innocence. Poirot goes back and questions the 5 people who were present on the day of the murder and asks them to give their detailed accounts of the day in writing. One should be able to deduce from the letters the identity of the true murderer, but I did not. Part of the fun for me is not guessing but just going on the journey with Christie.

Through the Groves by Ann Hull

Growing up amid the orange groves of central Florida in the 1960’s and 70’s is not something I know anything about, which is why I picked up Hull’s memoir. Her memories transported me to the humidity and pesticide-filled orange groves, the wide freedom kids were afforded then and the second-hand smoke they all inhaled. After finishing this listen, I wished that Hull had probed more emotionally – while her writing gives a real visceral sense of time and place, there were big life events where I never really got a sense of how she was affected like her parent’s divorce or discovering that she was gay. Still, it took me to a very different world, and I’m glad I took that trip.

Owner of a Lonely Heart by Beth Nguyen

Every immigrant story is full of heartbreak, and Nguyen’s story is no exception. Her parents were living separately on the day Saigon fell, and she and her siblings happened to be staying with her dad on that fateful day. They had to make the split-decision to flee the country, and there was no time to inform her mother of these life-altering plans. Her mom only discovered that her kids were gone days later when she went to retrieve them. As a result, Nguyen doesn’t see her mom again until she’s an adult. I really enjoyed the writing in this book, and several parts have stayed with me (like her decision to change her name), but I don’t think there was enough exploration for a full memoir. I would have loved this as a shorter personal essay.

Trust by Hernan Diaz

I felt my enjoyment of this book decrease as the story progressed. The book is divided into four parts: 1. A novel about a very wealthy couple; 2. The unfinished biography of the husband that the novel in the first part is based on; 3. The narrative of the woman who was hired to write the biography; and 4. The journal entries of the wife. As I read each part, I knew Diaz wanted to show that money can bend all truth and erase the stories it finds inconvenient. I liked that he played with structure but in the end, this is a theme that has been true for a long time and I did not feel like anything new or surprising was revealed. But it did win the Pulitzer last year, so clearly it was an acclaimed novel by the people who make those decisions!

I’m so excited to have this space to share more of my reading life with you! Are you a reader? I’d love to know some of your recent (or past) favorites. Email me or drop me a comment.

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Read previous post: Photos and Highlights from Joshua Tree

We just came back from a 5-day trip to Joshua Tree National Park over President’s Day weekend, and the kids had the best time. First of all, Joshua Tree is like a huge playground – every pile of rocks is an invitation for kids (and adults!) to climb and scramble. Unlike past national park trips, we focused less on the goal of a destination or a view and more on exploring and playing. 

We were lucky to have great weather in mid-February. It was in the mid-60’s during the day with lots of sunshine. Even though I’ve lived in Northern California for 25 years now and have made dozens of trips to Southern California, I have never made it to Joshua Tree. It was an easy flight from San Jose to Palm Springs Airport and from there, just about a 50 to 70 minute drive to the areas surrounding the park.

I started planning this trip 3 months ago, and I always like to book lodging first. With 3 kids and usually family joining us on trips, we just about always book a rental home, so I am a power user on Airbnb and VRBO. I know that you can filter Airbnb search results by a variety of features, like “amazing views” or “chef’s kitchen,” but I had never noticed that “play” was a feature. This was the first time I chose to filter by play and it led me to this quirky, play-filled house in Yucca Valley, about 20 minutes from the west entrance of the park.

The dining room contained not just a spacious dining table but also a foosball table and an indoor basketball game. You can imagine that my kids spent more time at the foosball table than at the dining table but their foosball skills also greatly improved over just 5 days. Outside, there was a homemade miniature golf course (that turned out to be the hardest course any of us had ever tried), some western-themed backdrops, horseshoes, a pool (unheated so it was definitely more of a cold plunge) with lots of pool toys, a hot tub, and a sauna. And the garage had been converted to a theater room so my kids got to watch Netflix on the biggest TV they had ever seen. 

Bowie playing miniature golf with Uncle Aaron

Making s’mores in the backyard fire pit

I’ll admit that renting such a playhouse may have been a bit of a mistake because in the battle of fun rental house versus being among the elements, my kids are gonna pick the former. They protested having to leave the games behind every morning but once we got them on some rocks, they were entertained for hours. On the night of our last dinner, we were sharing our roses, buds, and thorns (This is our nightly tradition – a rose = best part of your day; bud = something you hope for; thorn = the toughest part of your day), and basically all the kids said that scrambling on rocks was their rose, they wished they could come back soon as their bud, and they didn’t get enough time to scramble on rocks was their thorn. There’s hope for nature!

Ben and Aaron, my baby cousins, and one of their spouses also joined us for part of the trip. They were just 2 and 4 years old when I moved to California for college, and I’ve been lucky to watch them become young men. It’s hard to believe how quickly time passes and now they play with my kids the way I used to play with them.

Family plank contest

So the combo of a truly unique rental house, a playground-like national park, and lots of family time made for a trip we will remember for a long time to come.

Here are some highlights from our time in the park:

We hiked both the Barker Dam Trail and Split Rock Trail, and our kids much preferred Split Rock. The Barker Dam Trail is dotted with Joshua Trees but the dam itself is not that spectacular of a destination. Since it’s one of the more popular trails too, there are just a lot more people along the way. Split Rock had a lot more rocks to climb, and we often had the trail to ourselves, even on a holiday weekend.

Hiking along Split Rock Trail

Fun hiding places along Split Rock Trail

Our kids’ favorite stop was at Skull Rock not because of Skull Rock but because of all the rocks to scramble on behind Skull Rock.

Scrambling on the rocks behind Skull Rock

I loved stopping at Cholla Cactus Garden, an endless horizon of these mini-cacti with dozens of sharp prickly arms and digits ready for attack. There were no rocks to climb here but we all admired the strange looking cacti and the raspberry-shaped buds of their flowers that were just beginning to sprout.

Cholla Cactus Garden

I’ve been trying to include more art in my life, so I packed up clipboards, drawing paper, and colored pencils for all of us. All the kids and I did a little bit of drawing, for a different way to experience nature. 

On our last day, we hired rock climbing guides from Stone Adventures for our group of 8 to experience what Joshua Tree is known for. While Bowie and Charlie did not enjoy it – the rock faces are quite rough for little hands, plus they were scared of the height, the rest of us enjoyed the adventure and challenge.

My cousin Ben going up the hardest climb of the day

Our rock climbing guides also took us on a secret scrambling adventure — we hiked up Sentinel, which is a popular rock formation with rock climbers, but since it’s not a hiking destination, we wouldn’t have known about it. We went up to the top and it provided a spectacular view into the valley below.

On top of Sentinel

Other trip highlights:

The small town of Yucca Valley has no shortage of big grocery stores, but I chose the gigantic Walmart because I have never grocery shopped at one (in fact I’ve somehow only been inside of a Walmart maybe 3 or 4 times in my life). Wow, was it an experience! I was in a state of both wonder and terror walking up and down the endless super-sized aisles and seeing how many products they carried. Luckily I had to get back to the rental for dinner or I still might be wandering in there right now. (There was also an Aldi nearby, which I have also never been to, but two new grocery store experiences just felt way too indulgent.)

After the kids went to bed one night, Tim and I watched the new Netflix documentary The Greatest Night in Pop, which goes behind the scenes of how the We Are the World fundraiser song for Africa came together in 1985. As a kid of the 1980’s who loved singing Lionel Richie’s All Night Long and named Charlie after Ray Charles (she was briefly Stevie for Stevie Wonder and Stevie Nicks), this documentary hit all the right spots for me.

The one very minor lowlight:

Our first stop on Day 1 was at a not-named spot on the side of the road because the kids spotted a mountain of rocks they wanted to climb. Of course, 5 minutes in, Charlie peed herself and was sooo upset, and I foolishly had not packed her extra bottoms even though I know I have a kid who likes to wait until the last minute to use the bathroom. Luckily Neko had an extra bottom that somehow fit her sister’s much smaller waist.

Have you been to Joshua Tree? Do you have a favorite national park?

Our family uses this scratch-off poster to keep track of all the ones we’ve been to as a family of five. So far we’ve made it to Pinnacles, Yosemite, Sequoia, Kings Canyon, Acadia, Arches, Canyonlands, and now Joshua Tree!

Read previous post: What’s Making Me Happy - February 2024

In the middle of all this, my almost 78 year old mother-in-law broke her hip when she slipped on a patch of ice going down the steps of her house. We didn’t have a good sense of how severe the injury was, so Tim flew out to Denver to assess the situation, unfortunately adding more stress to an already stressful week of work.

We are so relieved that she is recovering well, but this is not our first scare with his parents, and it won’t be our last. We are just in that season of life – entering the sandwich years where our young kids still need a lot from us while we face increasing needs from our aging parents. I’m sure the years ahead will be full of trial and challenge but I’ve also seen so many dear friends lose parents way too early. My heart aches for the grandparents who didn’t get enough time to spoil their grandkids, grandchildren who didn’t get to hear their grandparents’ life stories. I will gladly take this alternative and be grateful for all of the healthy years we have had (and will continue to have) together, where we have all gotten to share the joy of our young kids together. Regardless of what lies ahead, that will always make me so happy.

Beyond that, here are a few other simple gifts that are making me happy in this winter season:

Running at the Baylands

I have been running once or twice a week along the trails of the Baylands, the muddy shore of the San Francisco Bay that’s less than 2 miles from my house. Since it’s winter, I’ve had the company of many migratory birds, and they’ve made my runs extra memorable and therapeutic. One morning about 2 miles into my run, an egret landed just a few feet away from me. The lightness in which it made contact with the ground was like witnessing the grace of a beautiful dancer, and I am still glowing from that memory. 

Rewatching Who’s the Boss

I have been watching Who’s the Boss? on Hulu over the past month, and I have been thoroughly entertained revisiting Tony Danza as housekeeper Tony Micelli. This show ran for 8 seasons starting in 1984 so of course some things don’t hold up to today’s cultural norms, but the show is also really progressive for its time too. Tony is completely unabashed in his domestic-ness – he dons an apron to cook and clean, runs for PTA president, and is an incredibly involved parent. Angela Bower played by Judith Light is a total 80’s girlboss and her outfits make me nostalgic for 80’s shoulder pads and big hair. She is the president of her advertising agency and Tony totally just cheers her on with sincere earnestness. It’s been the perfect light sitcom to watch while I stretch before bed in the evening. 

Knowing future girl trips are on the calendar

The older I get, the more I treasure time with my closest girlfriends, women who have known me for more than half of my 42 years of life. Unfortunately with the exception of one, they have all moved far away from me, so we have to make a real effort to all get together. We all have busy lives but also because we all have busy lives, we need this time together – to laugh, to commiserate, to order one of everything off the menu. To make sure I got time with both sets of my now faraway girlfriends, I sent them this spreadsheet in January to capture their availability and ideas of where we should meet up. We’ve decided on our dates, and I know those upcoming trips will be some of my favorite days of the year. There is still plenty of time for you to do the same too – you will need to go to “File” and then “Make a copy” so that you have your own copy to edit however you’d like. Just do it and have the best time with your besties!

Note - A few people have asked about leaving comments. I understand it’s a bit of a pain as you need to be a subscriber and then login (they will send you a login link to your email so you don’t need to create a password). This really prevents trolling but also you can always just hit reply via email!

Previous post: Why I Quit Social Media After Eye Surgery

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Since I was a teen, it’s been part of my daily bathroom ritual to put contacts in every morning and take them out every night, but at age 40 I said, “No more of this touching my eyeballs nonsense. I just want to see!”

I wanted to see from the moment I opened my eyes every morning. I wanted to never have to make a drugstore run while on a trip because I had once again forgotten to pack my contact solution or contact case. I wanted to swim without goggles and not worry that I would lose a contact lens and find myself temporarily blind-ish. I regretted the hundreds of times I woke up in the middle of the night to tend to a crying baby, their faces always an impressionistic blur of the real thing because I was too tired or too lazy to find or put on my glasses.

So when the burden of pandemic worry had mostly lifted and I could start to take care of myself again, I made an appointment to get my eyes measured and assessed in mid-2022. In my research, I learned that there are three main types of corrective laser eye surgery: LASIK, PRK, or SMILE. I hoped for LASIK, which has the quickest healing and recovery time; within a day or two you could see well, drive, and basically return back to your normal life – it sounded like a magic trick!

Instead, I was told that PRK would be my only option if I wanted to go forward with correcting my vision. LASIK or SMILE are done by cutting a flap into one’s cornea, and mine were too thin for either of those procedures. I would have preferred like a thin waste; instead I was gifted with thin corneas. Of the three, PRK has the longest healing time because the top of your corneas are burned off by lasers to reshape it.

The first few days of recovery would be painful. I wouldn’t be able to see clearly for about a month, and 20/20 vision would take several months after that. But the part that would make most people shoot straight out of the doctor’s chair was no screens for two weeks. Aside from sleep, most of us can’t even stay off of our screens for 2 hours! However, even with all of these considerations, I knew the long term payoff would be worth the short term pain and inconvenience. Plus, I was curious what life could be like without screens – like if you can’t digitally exist, can you exist at all? I was ready to find out.

I scheduled my surgery for the end of 2022 so that I had time to work ahead of all my Cook Smarts tasks and delegate the ones that had to be done real time in December. The biggest chunk of work was actually all the filming I needed to do for our social media posts to get a full month of content done before signing off, and this wasn’t easy for me. Creating social media content had become the least favorite part of my job. I dreaded the extra content that I would need to create to make up for the time off, but I guess I still felt the need to digitally exist during my screen sabbatical.

I am a planner though, so I got everything in order and was ready to bear witness to the wonder of modern medicine. On the morning of my surgery, I was placed basically into a dentist chair and then reclined back to look up at a big machine that was designed to give me perfect vision. A technician clamped one eye open and covered the other with one of those pirate eye patches. He then administered a few drops of anesthesia and before I knew it, the lasering began. As invisible beams burned off bits of my cornea, I could smell and see smoke rising from my eyes. At first, I thought that one of the machines was overheating and a small fire had broken out during my surgery but then I realized, wait, I’m the one on fire! Is this supposed to happen?

Apparently yes, because the doctor just went about his work. I would very much like to meet the mad genius who came up with this crazy idea of burning someone’s eyeballs to correct their vision and also patient zero because who would volunteer for such an experiment?

In under 30 minutes, both of my eyes were done and I walked back out to the waiting room where my mom was anxiously waiting for me. My mother is a pessimist and an extreme worrier. She did not want me to get this surgery done because she had convinced herself that I’d only end up blind. So when she asked, “When does the procedure start?” I knew she really was hoping that I had changed my mind and that’s why I had come back out to the waiting room so soon. Instead, I surprised her by saying, “I’m done. We can go home now.” It was probably the shortest she’s ever had to wait in a doctor’s waiting room.

On that first day back home, I felt almost no discomfort but by day 2, I was struck by the latent pain of having one’s corneas burned. It felt like the surface of my eyes had been subjected to dozens of paper cuts with antiseptic then poured into them. Even small amounts of light heightened the pain, so I spent close to 2 days in my bed with my eyes closed and the lights off, going in and out of sleep while listening to the many character voices of Dan Stevens (aka Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey) narrating Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express. 

Fortunately by day 5, that initial recovery stage of raw, visceral pain had passed. I was still incredibly sensitive to light so I often wore sunglasses even indoors, but I was no longer bound to my bed in my dark bedroom. The problem now was my vision – the world was just a blur. When I wore contacts, my day started when I put them in and I could view the world with clarity.

During this next stage of recovery, it felt like my days never officially began as everything remained in a haze. It also didn’t help that I wasn’t grounded in my usual routine. I couldn’t drive the kids to and from school and their activities; I couldn’t go to the office and work; I couldn’t even indulge in lazing around and watching all the TV shows that I was hoping to one day get to. 

And so I had to create a new routine. Even though I couldn’t see clearly, I certainly wasn’t blind. I was too restless to just stay at home; with good enough vision to detect the shapes of moving vehicles, I felt safe enough to go on walks. And walk I did. For hours and hours without direction over most of December. Sometimes I would walk the same loop over and over again. Other days I would just keep walking farther and farther away from my house, deciding hours later that if I didn’t turn back soon, I would never get back home. One day I took a rideshare to a non-eye related doctor’s appointment and instead of ordering a car to take me home, I thought I may as well walk. I have nothing better to do.

Numerous audiobooks became the backdrop to my daily walks. With so many miles of walking ahead of me, I found the courage to download The Power Broker by Robert Caro, a 66 hour audiobook (don’t worry I listened at 1.25x so it only took me ~53 hours to finish) about the life of Robert Moses, a public official who over the course of decades shaped much of New York City’s physical landscape from public parks and beaches to many of its main transportation arteries. Apparently when you can’t see well, hearing the play by play of a meeting between government bureaucrats can be riveting.

Though I was alone during these daytime hours, I found wonderful company in audiobooks. I put on my Inspector Gamache hat and tried to solve the murders in Louise Penny’s mysteries (always unsuccessfully because I’m no detective or murder mystery writer). I soaked in the character-rich worlds of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s books, Daisy Jones & The Six and Malibu Rising, which is one of my top 5 books about siblings. 

Most of my adult life had been viewed through the 2 by 5 inch frame of my phone or the 8 by 12 inch frame of my laptop. For many hours of the day, those were the boundaries of my world – what I viewed, the output of my thoughts and efforts, the time I often wasted, the conversations I had with friends, the meetings I had with my teammates – all confined into these small 2-dimensional spaces. These screens were portals into so many parts of our lives – our work, our entertainment, our Amazon packages delivered in 2 days – especially during those pandemic years. But during those weeks of my recovery where I wasn’t allowed to look at one, I felt surprised at how little I missed those screens. 

Even though I couldn’t see my environment crisply, my deficient eyesight actually made me focus more on the physical and visual world around me. As minds inevitably do, mine would wander frequently on these walks – away from the story in my ears when I noticed a neighbor’s tree or to the chatter of my own inner thoughts. I was 41 years old at the time and very aware that I was firmly in the boundaries of midlife now, and without the noise of my usual everyday demands, finally had time to ask and really think about, “What’s next?”

I had been running Cook Smarts for over ten years, and the work had changed a lot over these years. I had gone from doing everything – the recipe development, the food photography, the coding, the graphics, the marketing, the customer servicing – to just focusing on marketing and new product features. Of course, I was still involved in all the other aspects but I (luckily) was no longer the one doing all of the work.

While I still got excited about working on features to improve our meal plan service, marketing the service just filled me with dread, especially since so much of marketing now relies on social media platforms. While I could see how social media was fun for others, it hadn’t sparked joy in me for quite some time – as a content creator or as a consumer of content. The hours every week I would spend on coming up with content ideas and then creating it in front of the camera had ballooned into the largest park of my work time.

These short-lived moments that took so much time to create and were also largely dependent on the whims and ever-changing algorithms of the social media companies had left me feeling unsatisfied at work and questioning the why of it all. Plus, I don’t know if human beings were meant to spend so much time looking at our own faces in video selfie mode. It makes you lose a sense of your own being. I wondered if I was performing or producing life versus just living it. Like, if you do something but you didn’t show it on Instagram, did you actually do it? Or would I actually be doing this if I didn’t have a virtual world of people to share this with?

My recovery stretched on longer than I anticipated. I didn’t really see clearly consistently until close to 6 weeks after the surgery and even then my eyes would often ache by the end of the day. In the first month after the procedure, there were days where I might have good vision for a few hours in the morning only to have fuzzy vision again by midday and then there were days when the world was fuzzy all day long. I was expecting much more linear progress but that just wasn’t the case.

As my vision eventually sharpened, so did my sense of what I wanted next. I knew I wasn’t going to return to social media, at least not in the near future. The world is big and no one would miss me, but I would miss a lot of the world (and possibly myself) if I stayed on. I also knew it was time for me to consider what’s next after Cook Smarts.

I know for so many of you reading this, my Cook Smarts OGs, this is not what you want to hear. I promise it will take a lot more walks for me to figure out exactly what this next stage of work-life will look like for me as I enter my mid-40’s. I promise that I am not going anywhere anytime soon – there are still lots of things I want to do as the Founder of Cook Smarts so that wherever it ends up, it will remain a service that continues to support our community members. Being a part of this company has given so much meaning to my life, and I love you all so much. 

When I walked into that doctor’s office on that dreary December day in 2022, I simply thought that I was just getting a routine procedure to fix my vision. Instead, I also gained a much clearer sense of how I wanted to live my life going forward. It gave me space to bring all of these new rituals into 2023. I spent so much more time enjoying the physical world and continuing my new habit of daily walks. After going a year without social media, I do miss having a way to connect with all of you and so I created this newsletter – I guess old fashioned me is taking us back to the good old days of blogging. I’m so happy that you’re here because I have a lot of thoughts to share in this midlife stage. And I haven’t ruled out returning to Instagram one day but for now, this way of sharing and being feels just perfect.

Curious how you feel about social media these days?

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Read previous post: The Books I Read in January

I’m excited to start the year with such a memorable stack of books. Here are the books I finished in January – I’ll share a bit about each one with the exception of “The Hormone Shift: Balance Your Body and Thrive Through Midlife and Menopause” by Tasmeen Bhatia. Menopause deserves its own post!

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

I found this book to be delightful, with a big capital D. I am a sucker for a tale about unlikely friendships and deep human connection forged in adverse situations; and this book delivered on both. I’ve read two of Towles’ other novels, Rules of Civility and Lincoln Highway; all his books are so different in plot but all paint rich characters and a very distinct sense of time and place.

The book begins with aristocrat Count Alexander Rostov sentenced to a life of house arrest at the Hotel Metropol (a real place) for writing a poem with potential revolutionary intent. Within the walls and bustle of the Metropol, we follow Rostov’s life over three decades, where he makes a few enemies but mostly dear friends. 

This book completely surprised me; the title and cover don’t suggest the touching tale that unfolds. I already know that this will make my top ten books of 2024, and it’s a novel that I can see myself reading over and over again. My only complaint is that it spoiled the ending of Anna Karenina, which I happened to be reading at the same time – boy was it hard to keep all of my Russian characters straight!

Congratulations, The Best is Over by R. Eric Thomas

I’ve never laughed so much while listening to a book, which was not helpful on the nights when I was listening to it while trying to help Bowie fall asleep (we’ve been going through a lot of sleep fear lately). He kept asking, “Mama, what are you laughing at?” The answer: R. Eric Thomas storytelling his life! Thomas is that rare memoir writer who can be vulnerable on one page and then crack you up in the next line. I highly recommend this book as a listen because Thomas’ delivery adds so much (though I want to go back and reread the physical book so I can underline all the lines that moved me to laugh and reflect). He and I are the same age and even though I am definitely not a gay, Black man (at least not in this life), I related so much to his essays about midlife – the process of making adult friends and desperately wanting more connection trying to find meaning in this undefined middle stage where you’ve become something but maybe not everything you want to be. If you love personal essays that weave humor into weighty life moments, I cannot recommend this memoir enough.

The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride

I listened to Dominic Hoffman’s narration of this book and was just transported by his voice. This story takes place in the 1920’s in the segregated town of Pottstown, Pennsylvania, mostly the neighborhood of Chicken Hill where the immigrant Jews and Blacks are allowed to live. The book first centers on a Jewish couple, Moshe and Chona Ludlow, who are the owners of a local musical hall and the Heaven and Earth Grocery Store. Chona spends her days running the store and her kindness is the bridge that connects the two communities. From there the book expands to the experience of the Black community living in a prejudiced town that contains more than a few KKK members, with the town doctor among its membership. A tragic event occurs that requires both communities to help each other in the name of justice and takes the book into its final heist phase. Like A Gentleman in Moscow, this is a book about the role of humanity in the face of adversity. The year is early but I can also see this book in my top 10 of 2024.

The House Is On Fire by Rachel Beanland

The only thing I knew about this book was that it was about a fire (says so in the title!), but the specific tale Beanland imagined out of this historic event totally captivated me. In 1811, a fire started in the Richmond, Virginia’s only theater during a packed Christmas performance. The story of this tragedy and the immediate aftermath are told through the eyes of 4 different characters (2 of whom are based on real figures), all while exploring the conditions and injustices faced by women and the enslaved at this time. The incidents of violation and violence against several enslaved characters were upsetting to get through but unfortunately so true to the times. This book was a great listen with 4 narrators, but the story would have been just as compelling if I had read it. If you like historical fiction and stories of hope in the face of tragedy, you’ll enjoy this one. 

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

I am kicking off my attempt to read more classics with the tome Anna Karenina – after all, many have said it’s one of the best novels ever written – and I’ve learned not to be scared of long books. While I can see how it was an incredibly unique novel of its time, I didn’t always love it. I found Anna’s emotional journey to be honest and raw, but I also didn’t find her arc and inner monologue to be especially unique when considered within the vast literary canon of tragic female stories (Ooh, am I throwing shade on a time-honored novel? I guess I’m not not throwing shade.)

The bigger problem was that I did not care for the other main plot – that of Levin, a privileged landowner who is connected to Anna through her brother. This book really should have been called “Anna Karenina and Also This Guy Levin.” I found the content of his philosophizing to be too self-important and self-conscious, especially for someone with such privilege, and the same tantrum and tedium repeats itself over and over again. Because of all the attention paid to Levin, we lose what I see as the more interesting foil to Anna, her brother Stiva, a cad who skips through life under a guise of importance while indulging all of his vices without any punishment because he is well, a man, and she is not.

I think if someone just gave me this novel and didn’t tell me it is one of the greats and if Levin’s story was greatly reduced, I probably would have read it and possibly enjoyed it differently. Still, I’m glad I finished this book. It makes me want to go back to high school English class and write a five-paragraph essay answering the question: Why wasn’t Anna Karenina’s story important enough to stand on its own?

Commonwealth by Ann Patchett

I have a goal of becoming an Ann Patchett completist and this is my 5th book of hers (6 more to go!). Like all of Patchett’s books, it’s beautifully written but unfortunately it wasn’t a story I connected with. We follow two families through divorce, which deeply alters the lives of the 4 parents and the 6 kids especially. It’s not told in chronological order, which allows Patchett to keep some secrets from the reader. Despite not connecting to the characters, it’s still a wonderfully written story about the complexity of family, the messiness of life, and how the people we are in our youth don’t necessarily predict who we’ll be as adults. If you enjoy a family narrative, especially one filled with several anti-heroes, give this one a try.

I’m so excited to have this space to share more of my reading life with you. Are you a reader? I’d love to know some of your recent (or past) favorites. Email me or drop me a comment.

Read previous post: What I’m Bringing Into 2024

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More Focus at Work

I’ve developed a very bad habit at work that I’m determined to clean up this year. Confession: when I’m not writing and doing tasks that don’t require complete creative focus, I will often have a TV show (usually one I’ve seen several times) playing in the background. This habit has come out of too many years of working solo. As an extrovert, I like the sounds of familiar people around me, even if it’s a fictional character from The Office. It makes work feel less lonely, but it is not good for working efficiently.

To kick this habit, I am now leaving the iPad at home to completely remove the temptation. It does not need to come to the office with me (I rent a desk at my local JCC’s coworking space, but I am also the only tenant).

I have also found this great podcast called Flow State (you can listen to it on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts). It plays ambient music and sounds and uses the Pomodoro technique to help you focus and break up your work. You can choose between 30 minute work / 5 minute break or 60 minute work / 10 minute break intervals, and since it’s just all background noise that you mostly tune out, you can just repeat the same episode over and over once you find one you like. 

During the work periods, I set my devices to do-not-disturb as well and during the break periods, I force myself to get out of the office and just take a lap around campus to stretch my legs. With all the extra writing I want to do here this year, I needed to adopt a better routine. It’s already paying off – I feel so much more energized from allowing my brain to focus more deeply.

More In-Person Exercise

I went to my first in-person exercise class last week since before the pandemic (so almost 4 years ago!), and it felt joyous to be around other people. Even though I exercise almost every day, the pandemic and a previously less-flexible schedule had me switch over to all digital on-demand classes, originally via Aaptiv and then over to Peloton. Both were great and met my needs but I’m a social person, and I’ve missed working out with others. I’m excited to find a regular yoga class and to also start working with a trainer weekly. I really want to step up my strength training this year, since we all start losing muscle mass after the age of 30 (isn’t that crazy?). I don’t want to end up a weak elderly lady, so as an avid planner, I’m gonna start that work now.

I’m still doing all my running training solo but I have thought about joining a local run club. The times are not great for the ones that I’ve found – either really early in the morning or right at dinner time (these folks must not have kids or are empty nesters) – but I’m a pretty happy solo runner and think I’ll get my people fix from other activities.

More Doing My Nails

I definitely got marketed to by Olive and June during the pandemic and because there was nothing better to do, I bought way too much nail polish, like I could start a salon amount of nail polish. But how many times did I paint my nails last year? I did my hands once for a wedding and then maybe painted my toes three or four times over the summer. 

I always find doing my own nails therapeutic, and this superficial touch makes me feel just a bit more polished and put together so I’m leaning into using my huge Olive and June collection this year. I’m here for all the colors!

Cloudy Skies (light gray) and 100% Chance (darker gray)

Now I want to know what you’re bringing into 2024. If you’re reading this via email, you can just hit reply. If you’re reading this on the site, drop a comment below. 

I’m so happy to be kicking off 2024 with you! 

Read my previous post: All the New Things I Tried in 2023

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All of 2023 was like a beginning to me. I finally felt free of pandemic worry despite getting COVID twice. We entered a really sweet stage with the kids (who turned 4, 6, and 8 last year); they’re much more independent and love playing together (with the usual sibling squabbles) and are also just so fun to be around.

I’ve settled into living 3 blocks away from my parents who moved from Las Vegas in January of 2022. They are incredibly helpful, happily chauffeuring their grandchildren to school and their activities. Most people would have celebrated this freedom but I felt so much guilt at first, like I was shirking my mom duties, but I have learned (and am still learning) to let go and accept this blessing of family help.

Cook Smarts’ meal plan service turned ten last year, and while the business doesn’t completely run itself, I significantly reduced my hours.

The combination of all these things left me with a lot of time for myself in 2023. Instead of figuring out ways to be more productive, in this fifth decade of life, I’ve given myself the allowance of rest and also permission to invest in my own fun and recreation. So here are some of the new things I filled my 2023 with:

1. So much more body maintenance

When I turned 40 in October of 2021, I felt my body change overnight. Everything just felt harder all of a sudden. There were more aches in my joints, there was more tightness in my muscles, and workouts felt harder. My initial response: WTF? Is this really happening? Did I really become some middle-age cliche? If I ignore it, maybe it’ll just go away. (Because we all know that’s how problems work, right?)

But of course it did not. My body did not miraculously return to a more sprightly and hardy version of its previous self. Instead an incredibly painful tweak to my neck and back from simply getting out of bed one morning made me admit that ignoring the problem was not an option anymore.

With the help of a physiotherapist and a massage therapist, I was able to fix my neck and back. Both of them made me realize that I couldn’t simply tend to the demands of my life and expect my body to just do the work without some level of care and restoration anymore, so I introduced some new changes to my life going into 2023.

I made myself get a monthly massage. I know most people are happy to get a massage. That is not me. I’ve never particularly enjoyed them. I have a hard time with the idea of being pampered (which I know is from deep immigrant upbringing roots of never seeing my mother and grandmother do anything for themselves) but I convinced myself that this is not about being pampered; this is like the routine oil change your body needs so that it can run.

I found a massage therapist with gifted hands. Every month Larry tells me, “Man you’re tight,” because I always am. As he painfully kneads away at all the knots around my shoulder blades and neck, we talk about the books we’ve read, the movies we’ve watched, the art exhibits we’ve heard about or want to see or have seen. I look forward to Larry resetting my body every month, and it was one of the best things I brought into my 2023 (and I also realize how lucky I am to be able to afford this luxury that really should be a must for all women after a certain age).

I also finally discovered the sauna and steam room at my gym, where I’ve been a member for eight years, but always thought, I come here to work out, not to relax in the sauna. But not in 2023! In 2023, every weekday after my workout, I brought my neck stretcher into the sauna and just laid there with all the other ladies who have also reached the age of “I give no fucks about lying here buck naked in front of complete strangers.” After I’ve baked for five to ten minutes, I proceed to the steam room to let my body have a drink after the parched air of the sauna. I’ve come to see that a short rest in these heated spaces actually fills me up with energy, and it was such a new and welcomed way to start the day.

To round out this year of maintenance, I visited a Korean spa for the first time with girlfriends in December as a holiday gift to ourselves. As the website says, “A Korean spa is not for the modest,” because you must be naked during your services. After my scrub, I understand why. It’s not just that a piece of clothing would interrupt the vigorous scrubbing; it’s that a Korean scrub is akin to rebirth. We came into this world without clothing and that is why you need to be naked to appreciate the full benefits of this experience. You will literally feel your dead skin cells spread out around you, but it’s not just old skin you lose. I felt like I had shed any tension and negativity I had been holding inside and walked off that table feeling emotionally lighter and spiritually fuller. It’s no wonder I slept like a baby (well, one that has been sleep trained) that night.

2. Downhill sports!

I hate the feeling of going downhill with any speed. Even driving downhill in the cocoon of my car scares me (this made living in San Francisco a bit of a terrifying time in my life). Therefore, it was very surprising to my husband that the two new sports I tried last year were mountain biking and downhill skiing, and it was an even bigger surprise that I enjoyed both (though remain very terrible at both, which is the part that surprises no one).

Mountain biking was offered at the family camp we attended last year. There was an intro session on the first day, and I thought well, there probably won’t be a more convenient time for me to try this. I’m in the mountains of a national park, it’s all paid for, they have a bike for me, and I won’t be the only beginner in this group.

It was the first time that I enjoyed the thrill of going downhill. I felt safe on top of the heftiness of a mountain bike and ended up signing up for two more sessions, which is where my fitness maxed out. All the following sessions were for much longer, intense rides that I wasn’t skilled enough for but I enjoyed it enough that I’m going to try to find a women’s mountain biking clinic some time this year or next.

Then in December our family went to Winter Park, Colorado (about one and a half hours outside of Denver) for the holidays. My husband grew up skiing as many Coloradans do but has never asked me to learn, respecting my unease for anything downhill but I had said, when our youngest goes to ski school, I will go to ski school too. I kept my promise and signed up for 2 days of lessons. The joke in our family was who was going to cry more - me or the four year old?

In both days, I was definitely the worst student (never easy for a Type-A personality). I often couldn’t execute the directions that the instructors were giving despite trying very hard to process it in my brain. I could not control my speed and would go way faster than I was comfortable with so my go-to response for stopping would be to just fall. Often times I would get stuck and would need the class to wait while the instructor skied over to help me get back on my feet which sometimes went over my head during a fall.

I think a younger me would have hated being in a situation like this. I probably would have bailed on day two’s lessons but seeing and encouraging my kids to learn and try new things over these last few years has made me want to set the same example too. Plus age has offered me so much more grace with myself. No one expects me to be good at everything; most of it is just self-inflicted pressure that I am learning to ease up on. Despite my many falls, I could tell that I was improving over the two days of lesson and even ended up skiing a day on my own afterwards, and I really enjoyed myself.

Our family went skiing again over MLK weekend this year already, and I’m not sure if it’s something I’ll stick with, but I’m so happy that I tried. It makes me feel hopeful that I still have decades of learning ahead of me and that I’m far from closing the door to trying new things.

Although 2023 passed by much too quickly, as all the years seem to do now, I filled it with new rituals and many rewarding moments. I am taking all the self-maintenance routines into 2024. I’m not sure if I’ll try any new sports in 2024 but I have a plan to revisit my favorite sport of running more. I’ve signed up for a 10K in March and look forward to the highs of longer runs and in my older, wiser years, the reward of rest as well.

Did you try anything new in 2023? Will you bring any of those things into 2024? I want to know!

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Sometime in the middle of the pandemic, I decided that I needed a new process to organize all of my digital photos. I love how convenient our smartphones have made capturing all of the moments, but we also don’t really need photos of all the moments.

In 20 or 30 years, will I need 80 photos of my kids at 9 months practicing their pincer grasp on blueberries and avocado chunks during their baby led weaning phases? No (and confession, as someone who is mesmerized by their kids eating, I probably had well over 80 images of this exact scene) but I love being our family’s archivist and I wanted to create something both digital and physical for us to easily go back to a certain moment in time.

My goal was to cull away the photos that I wouldn’t miss, edit the ones that were worth keeping, and produce an organized monthly album on Google Photos to share with a small set of friends and family. We travel frequently and gather with friends and family multiple times each month, so even after culling, our average album size is ~300 photos.

From those 300, I download my favorites to put into a physical album, but instead of waiting till the end of the year and making it a big project that I know will feel too big to tackle, I work on each month right after it ends. That is my secret to getting my photo book done so quickly when the year ends. Most of it is done already because I’ve been working on it all year long.

Right after that monthly Google Photos album gets shared, I open a program called AlbumStomp and start laying out the month. Because I’m doing it right away and I’m only covering the month, it feels much more doable. Also I’m able to remember many more of the details about the last 4 weeks so that I can actually capture in text the funny little things the kids said or note the name of hike we actually did. My hope is to create something that we can not only look back on visually but also captures the stories of this precious time that is passing by so quickly, like a very photo-heavy journal.

I do need to carve away ~2 hours each month to get this done, but I enjoy this monthly reflection, and I love both the finished digital and tangible product that comes from these efforts. The kids will often pull these books off the shelf and look through them, and I love that they can do that.

So even though it’s just ~2 weeks into January, I will be receiving my 2023 album, part 2 in the mail soon. Part 2 because we take so many photos that there isn’t an album big enough that can cover our entire year so I split each year into two albums, placing an order in July for the first half the year and the following January for the second half of the year.

There are clearly so many options for photo organizing and printing but I use Google Photos to back up, organize, and edit; Albumstomp to lay out my physical album; and then a company called Printique to print out the physical album. I owe much of this process to Miss Freddy, who I found on Instagram during the pandemic. Between her tips and Family Yearbook course, I now have a monthly photo routine that is manageable and enjoyable. Her yearbook course introduced me to Albumstomp and Printique but I also know good ol’ Shutterfly (and dozens of other photo book platforms) can get it done too, so just use whatever works for you! There’s no need to learn new software if you like your current option.

However, if you are interested in learning more about either, check out Miss Freddy’s Family Yearbook course of which I’m neither an affiliate nor a sponsor — just a huge fan who wants to support another hustling mama out there.

My Printique photo books

I’m excited for the latest 2023 book to join this growing collection. I started this process mid-2021, and then worked backwards through 2020, fitting it in during those small pockets of time. I’d love to add 2018 and 2019 too. Before this process, I hadn’t created an annual book since 2017 when my second child Bowie was born, which meant there was no physical documentation of our third child Charlie coming into the world in 2019. I’d like her to know that we took some pictures of her first 8 months of life. My goal is to at least get the 2019 albums done by the end of this year.

Before I leave you, I have a few more random tips to share about creating an annual photo book that truly captures your life in a year:

1. Think beyond photos; screenshots capture life too

I take screenshots of texts with friends and family members that I know I’ll want to remember. We spend a lot of our life on digital correspondence, and there are definitely conversations worth saving and looking back on years from now. I also take screenshots of random things like when my kid got Worldle on the first try or my annual reading accomplishments on Goodreads.

Bowie loves Worldle and is also studying Africa in school right now

That time when my absentminded scientist husband wears my way-too-small jacket

2. Include photos of yourself

This tip is especially for parents. We take so many photos of our kids but very few of ourselves but remember, we are worth photographing too. I want my kids to see *me* when they look back at these books, so our books definitely include the random selfie of mom, of course always when I’m having a good skin day.

3. Include your partner’s photos too

Again this tip may be more for parents but if you’re creating a family album, make sure you get your partner’s photos too. My husband has partner sharing enabled through Google Photos so I have easy access to all of his photos.

4. Extra credit: include QR codes

So who knows if QR codes will still exist in a few decades? But for now they do, so I include a QR code at the end of every monthly section. If you scan it, it’ll take you that monthly digital Google Photos album that I’ve organized with more pictures and videos from the month. This is a great way to easily access the dynamic videos of a given month from a not-dynamic photo book.

An example of how a QR code is included in my photo books

Now I want to hear everything about your photo process because I love photos and because I’m such a process nerd. If there is anything I can do to help you create a photo book this year, just let me know (reply if you’re reading this via email) or leave a comment on the post.

And of course, I’d so appreciate you subscribing and/or sharing this site — I’ve got so many thoughts, stories, and tips I want to share, and I don’t want you to miss any of it!

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x, Jess