Listen to the songs as you read of them for the full experience, lets get into it:)

Discovery

November, 2024. I was indulging my bad habit of mindlessly scrolling through reels on instagram, when a video finally grasped my attention. It was from Derrik, of gee_derrik who posted video discussing his favourite newly found artist, which happened to be Annahstasia.

Now, she is undoubtedly beautiful, but that’s not all that meets the eye. I found this cover image intriguing because I didn’t know what to make of it. To me, she is seemingly entrapped between what looks like other bodies. From then, and as I type this, I am unaware if this image is meant to symbolise something. In his video, Derrik goes on to list several artists whom I assume Annahstasia’s voice reminded him of. One of those being Nina Simone. To be honest, despite the name sounding familiar, the voice didn’t come to me. It wasn’t until I revisited Simone’s discography did I realise why he mentioned her. Like Simone, Annahstasia sings in contralto, the lowest and rarest classification of the classical female singing voice. This is the kind of voice so moving that it is unforgettable.

The song Sunday, begins with a beautiful melody played from several instruments, the acoustic guitar mainly coming through. And then, she sings:

Her delivery is rich, it’s patient, it’s hauntingly beautiful to hear. To me she is addressing a lover, expressing that although there is desire they feel, to be the single person to have access to her body sexually, that same body has acted as a protective boundary from allowing that to take place.

When we reach the chorus, she sings

And there it is, the thesis statement of the song hits you, not violently, but gently — like exhaustion pulling you into a deep sleep. On her bandcamp profile, the song is described this way:

“Love’s ecstasy crashes down when doubt seeps in and the notion of partnership is revealed as a one-sided projection,” the section goes on to quote Annahstasia herself saying, “It's a small solace that somewhere, in another universe it all worked out.” And that speaks to that human question we tend to ask ourselves, what if?

Naturally, I concluded that Annahstasia was a unique contemporary artist I had to keep up with. Upon doing that, I learned that Sunday is a song belonging to an EP titled Surface Tension, which consists of two other songs ; Saturday and Stress Test. The title implies the unseen pressure or emotional restraint that creates an illusion of complete calm. It represents holding intense energy, stress, or unexpressed feelings right below the surface, operating like an invisible shield that masks turbulence to keep everything functioning normally. Note, earlier I stated that I didn’t quite understand the cover image of the EP, but I actually feel the title of it does exactly that. Maybe her face in the image represents the true feelings deep down, from being caught up about in someone else, or better yet under someone else, restrained despite keeping oneself in that position.

Saturday comes first in the EP, before Sunday. The song is a pure expression of hope when falling in love, wanting to be there through the ebbs and flows of life.

A glimpse into the official music video above will help you understand why I love it. The video perfectly captures what the song is expressing. The pure yearning from loving someone is displayed as Annahstasia chases after the moving car her lover sits in. At times she walks, causing her body to be out of frame, but love provides that hope, hope that keeps her coming back into frame, and eventually, catch her lover’s hand.

Outside of South African jazz and my discovery of the country’s own afro-soul/folk artist, Jabulile Majola, Annahstasia’s music speaks to what I refer to as my inner self. You know, the part of yourself you sit with when alone in silence, the parts of yourself maybe only your journal truly knows. Maybe I am just trying to seem profound when all I am really speaking about is the soul, but her music for me, holds that gravity and depth that makes you stop all that you are doing to stop, to listen and to feel the music

Stress Test beautifully closes off the EP, and for me affirms the title of it. In the chorus she sings—

About this song on her bandcamp.com profile, they quoted her saying “ The universe tests you to see if you break.” Considering the context of the EP, this song speaks to that period after heartbreak, searching for oneself again, searching whilst some parts remain with the person who left. And that might be when the universe is testing you, and whether you can endure heartbreak.

Now the reason for this essay in the first place.

TETHER.

When I had the idea to write this, I had to think about what I had to say about the album cover, and I realised it reminded me of Sade’s, The best of Sade iconic cover image. A simple, yet beautiful portrait in this black and white colour scheme. The striking gaze, the braided bantu knots, and I can’t not mention the piercings, oh so cool. Details! One thing about portraits is that they are bound to no time period, this artistic choice makes me confidently assume she knew this would be a timeless body of work.

So, at this point I had started following Annahstasia’s instagram, note Stress Test was released on 1 November 2024. Just shy of four months later, to my lucky surprise, Annahstasia posted that her single,Villain was out.

It begins with a beautiful guitar melody, and when it’s time, Annahstasia’s voice pulls you in. With this song, on her bandcamp profile, she is quoted saying:

"We are all made of both shadow and light. From some angle, we have all been the villain of the story.”

This appears to be the message of the song, as it builds and builds, Annahstasia’s voice accompanied by a beautiful fusion of instruments. She ends off singing—

This outro reaffirms the song title, Annahstasia speaking to the commitment this person has to the narrative that she is in fact, the villain. To me, this highlights the danger of negating the context and complexities that exits within relationships. Oftentimes it is never solely the actions of one individual that lead to the outcome.

On the Broken Record podcast, she explains that she originally wrote the lyrics from a very angry place and over time, its not the lyrics that changed, but her mindset which ultimately changed the way she sung and continues to sing the song. To me this speaks to how time and healing can make one recognise that polarities can exist and oftentimes do, and from this perspective she was able to mould her artistic expression when performing this song.

16 April 2025, she posted that her second single, Silk and Velvet, from Tether was out on release.

Under the instagram post announcing this, Annahstasia gives us context, with the caption of the photo saying:

“Silk and Velvet is a nod at the 4th wall between performer and consumer. Dream and reality. I understand that much of the time I am a hypocrite, and there are limited strides I can take in absolving that— while still chasing this dream I have. So instead of hiding the elephant in the room I needed a song that addressed it plainly.”

For the rest of April and March last year, this was one of my favourite songs for this very reason. She addresses being this walking contradiction under this system in which we exist. Although I am not an artist, this song struck me as highly relatable. It starts with a soothing guitar melody and she sings:

This deeply resonated with me, particularly when I fall into my life contemplating moods, which is pretty much every other day, especially when alone. It’s that questioning of whether I can keep up in this rat race of a system, not only that but whether keeping up is worth it in the grand scheme of life.

When briefly touching on this song on bandcamp.com, Annahstasia is quoted describing it as “really dry, really stark and selectively dissonant.” I couldn’t agree more.

In an interview with Hey You Listen to This on YouTube, Annahstasia describes her music as power folk, stating that its because “people like genre” whilst not really being a believer of it herself. She goes on to say she’d describe her music with the words “grounding, good soil, humanness, catharsis.” When asked the meaning of power folk, Annahstasia explains that it’s a reclaiming of the folk genre that has been whitewashed in the North American context, by reintroducing aspects of soul, blues and the like. “As the power,” she states, referencing to the genre. Clarifying, “as in black power, but also the power of different subjugated groups throughout time that folk music originates from, folk music being the indigenous music of any place and time.”

Upon looking this up for clarity, I found out that instruments like the banjo, one of the most popularised folk instruments, actually originated from Africa. I guess this speaks to why Annahstasia’s music feels so spiritual when listening to it, she aims to artistically reclaim what was stolen from Africans and indigenous peoples.

The song builds when approaching the chorus, the clashing of the piano and cello beautifully emphasises the lyrically thought provoking idea of “living with the hypocrisy of having revolutionary ideologies but consumerist tendencies,” as she described. In the exceptional chorus she sings:

This is the first song I have heard address this out so clearly and explicitly. And I guess the reason why, to this day it speaks to me. Being against a the systemic oppression and subjugation of the peoples of the global south whilst simultaneously partaking in that system by giving its institutions my money. This makes the lyrics both relevant and highly relatable, well at least for me. Earlier I mentioned how Annahstasia was compared to Nina Simone, it is Nina who said, “how can you be an artist an not reflect the times,” when speaking of her involvement within the Civil Rights Movement at the time. This is what I think Annahstasisa does so beautifully, reflect the times in which we exist.

Upon the album release I was highly anticipating, Annahstasia didn’t disappoint one bit. I think it only hit me what an exceptional body of music it is when I revisited upon its one year anniversary in June, not long before she appeared on NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert on Youtube, where she emulates her captivating voice in her stage presence too.

I’ll be touching on my two other absolute favourites from the album. Be kind is the introduction to this album and it is also one of the most unique structurally. On bandcamp.com it is stated that she expressed viewing this more as a poem than a song. You realise listening to it why that’s the case, the song doesn’t follow the traditional structure of most songs, which adds to its allure.

This song means a great deal to me as it serves a reminder, not only to be kind to others, but to ourselves. I now attach words that aren’t my own, so eloquently wrote to me about the song after I had recommended it, feeling that it would offer more comfort than any words I could’ve said ever would.

“My first instinct was Nina Simone - something in the particular grain of Annahstasia’s voice, that low, almost reluctant husk that feels like it carries sediment, like the voice has been somewhere. But then the song kept moving and I realised it wasn’t resting on the gravitas the way I expected. It kept shifting, kept opening up. And that section where the piano comes in with that rain-like quality, and then what I think is both a cello and a violin layered together, (and then the way the violin trails off in that dying-swan way at the end), it’s genuinely heartbreaking. I wasn’t prepared for it.

The whole song does this thing where you think you’ve found its ceiling and then it quietly, without drama, lifts. It’s a very non-stagnant piece of music, which is such an interesting quality for something so apparently still on the surface.

What you said about interpretation, that you first heard it as addressed to a lover and then realised it was self-talk, is also interesting. That reframe changes everything, because suddenly the conditional (”I’ll be kind if you’ll be”) stops being a negotiation between two people and becomes something more like an internal truce. The whole, who am I? … The I that see’s thing. A self trying to convince itself to soften. And the moral architecture of that is intriguing - it frames kindness not as something innate or performed for others, but as a practice you keep returning to, something you have to keep choosing even when your surroundings feel oppressive. The line about “goodness” being a “moral grey” and kindness being the “clearer compass” is some serious philosophy.

The lyrics that hit hardest for me were these -

There’s something biblical in that, a prodigal-son energy but inverted. Here the leaving isn’t abandonment so much as an act of necessary self-rescue. And—

that image of dreams not being chased but just seeping out passively into the fabric of rest.

That’s a very specific kind of exhaustion.”

Such a comprehensive message about a song I recommended made my day, you now know this:). On the topic of exhaustion, as concluded above, when you listen to Be Kind, you hear that Annahstasia is seemingly close to the mic. As she leads us into the bridge and main message of the song, she takes a very audible breath, emphasising the point being made whilst simultaneously heightening the listening experience.

Upon watching her sit down with Derrik Gee on his channel, Annahstasia mentions the prioritising of crafting the texture for her album. This was the first time I heard the word used in the musical context, but upon hearing it made me realise the intentionality of sonic choices she made, such as the previously mentioned breath taken before continuing to sing. This kind of vocal texture is a voice Annahstasia had to grow into, having expressed that the sound engineers she had worked with in the making of the album struggled to capture the exact sound she wanted to produce. It eventually did happen, and you can hear it when listening. Something she also pointed out about acoustic guitar being the main instrument reminded me of South Africa’s beloved Zahara and her song My Guitar. When seated with Derrik, Annahstasia speaks to the fact that during covid, she had to reflect on how can she make a project where at the end of the day, regardless of what happens, all she’ll need is herself and her guitar. She goes on to attribute much of her success to this, as she can go anywhere with just herself and her guitar (bigger artists tend to travel with whole teams, costing more money). This is the sentiment Zahara shares in the chorus, singing—

Now, i’ll end off with my current favourite upon revisiting this exceptional album, Satisfy Me.

The songs starts off—

This song has a simple strum-and-beat at the forefront of the melody. On the Between the Lines podcast, Annahstasia spoke to the introductory lyrics, stating more expressly, that this song is multiple selves talking to past, present and future versions of her, the “grapevine” meaning to represent a concept of a phone call to herself. This rumour expressing that she ought to have “made it” in her music career at that point in her life.

Later in the song, post-chorus she sings—

This song speaks to the sentiment already touched on in Silk and Velvet and Be Kind simultaneously, but instead Satisfy Me being a plea for the for the world to realise it is capable of the change necessary for it to be just. Above she is reconciling with the contradiction highlighted in Silk and Velvet, but instead now understanding that as a musician she ought to use the system, her beauty, her talent to make ends meet, to have her dreams fulfilled.

With staying offline, she expresses that it’s difficult to exercise creativity with so much noise we’ve been accustomed to hearing and hearing online. There is an intentionally to this attempt that she deems as necessary to keep her grounded. I myself relate to this, having deactivated my instagram recently, you realise how much more still the world feels, like you’re plugged out and able to breathe for a moment.

That being said, I wouldn’t have finished this had I still been on instagram right now. This has been a month of revisiting, editing, removing and adding. Just like Annahstasia, who sat with her music for the messages of each song and her voice to fully come through. And for that I am grateful because we now get to hear it.

If you got this far, thank you. Till next essay.

~T

That saying encapsulates what I mean when I refer to A father’s feminism. This type of feminism is indirect; it comes in warnings, warnings that deviate from the patriarchal beliefs that require women to function as subordinates in both relationships and society. I’m sure this experience varies depending on one’s father. During my sister’s and I’s teenage years, my father’s position was absolute. Stay away from boys, period. The position was that during that period, young boys are interested in one thing and one thing only, therefore ill-intentioned, unfocused, and irresponsible. Classically, without fail, ending off with I know because I was once a boy. This raises the question of whether existing as a male preconditions fathers to have this arguably misandrist attitude towards younger men, with the pure intention of protecting their daughters?

In this context, the word ‘misandry’ should be understood in the way it is often (mainly by men) falsely interpreted. The emphasis on and critique of male behavior, which heightens caution and distrust, is considered misandrist, rather than, in the strict, definitionally accurate sense of an innate hatred or prejudice against men. The fear-based protective paternalism is arguably justified, especially in the South African context. This year, a report states that in the Eastern Cape alone, a staggering 117 girls aged 10 to 14 gave birth between April and July of 2025. An additional 4,752 girls aged 15-19 delivered babies in the province during the same short period. A majority of these cases are undoubtedly a result of sexual exploitation/statutory rape by men who are likely much older. This is where my father’s feminism was realistic, not only as a minor, but even now. He specifically warned us about the predatory behavior of many older men toward young girls; we were to never entertain, associate, or engage with said behavior.

In adulthood, my father’s position waned from absolute to open, with strong advice to be critical of whom we choose to entertain. Probably shocking to no one, that my perception of what the ideal man for me ought to be like, vs my father’s general perception of what a man ought to be, slightly differs. The problem with a father’s feminism is that it arguably reinforces the misandry embedded within the patriarchal belief system. This is the type of misandry that feminist theory addresses, a misandry that enforces restrictive norms that exploit and constrain men to uphold the patriarchal system. An example is how a man is expected to express himself, which can range from emotional expression to artistic expression, such as fashion.

The justified expectations a father may hold for the man or men his daughter introduces to him are, in many ways, the same qualities he should seek to cultivate in his own daughter as a result of good, equal parenting. These include ambition, drive, independence, and intelligence, traits traditionally associated with masculinity. I believe these traits were instilled in me by my parents, yet I have experienced firsthand how possessing them can result in my femininity being called into question.

The topic of intelligence arose recently in a conversation with my dad, during which he expressed the view that a woman should form a partnership with someone of equal intellectual capacity, as intelligence plays a significant role in mutual understanding, respect, and long-term compatibility. While this is true, these should not be the only considerations. There exists a particular risk for intelligent, curious women who become successful in their own right and subsequently form relationships with men who are not their intellectual equals. Within a patriarchal belief system that prioritises dominance, control, and superiority over women, such disparities can be internalised as threats to masculinity. As a result, intellectual imbalance may become a pathway to an inferiority complex, which can manifest in controlling, resentful, or otherwise harmful behaviors. Such dynamics obviously do not always arise in relationships with this perceived imbalance, although highly unlikely if the men do not adhere to conventional gender role expectations.

A father’s feminism may not inherently be ‘misandrist’; however, by placing the burden of caution and self-regulation on women and girls, through an emphasis on academic focus, self-development, and heightened scrutiny in partner selection, fathers often overlook the equal responsibility of parenting sons. Redefining what it means to be a good man in contemporary society requires holding sons to the very same standards fathers hope to see in those deemed worthy of their daughters.

To end off a perfect example

Sonically an amazingly beautiful song, but in registering the lyrics I noticed something. See how the burden is being placed on his daughter? Policing what she should partake in, how he wishes her body will turn out, all because of how he knows how “nuts” guys are. It seems to me, sure, daddies don’t play when it comes to their daughters, but with their sons? I’ll leave that to you.

Till next essay,

Xx

-T

I am in awe of the administrators who run the @womenforchangesa account who have facilitated the movement and have advocated for survivors and victims of GBV/femicide in South Africa for years now. They have created a space for women and the marginalised to collectively mourn and call for justice, whilst the system continuously fails us.

I type the rest of this the day of the G20 shutdown. Despite the declaration by Cyril, we know all too well that the government has shown to be all talk, no action. But for now, let us breathe a sigh of relief.

Warning- there will be a mentioning of GBV+femicide cases

I have a confession. I do not currently follow @womenforchangesa. This might make my character seem contradictory given the essay topic, so I’ll elaborate. I realised at a point that the continuous exposure to the rampant violence that faced by women and children would make me personally more susceptible to desensitisation because of how frequently the violence takes place. I feel like whenever there are posts made and I read the facts of the cases, I always have had to go through a silent mourning—this is in cases of femicide. To read and scroll felt inhumane. A lot of the time it would sit with me for days, many times I have shed tears. Still do. This made me realise I am sensitive to this issue, not only now, but always have been.

In retrospect, it makes sense. When we were younger, my mom would play Morning Live on SABC 2 every morning as we got ready for school. As a news broadcasting show they obviously covered the most relevant stories, still do. I think this is a key factor as to why I, at the young age of twelve did not fear spiders or mythical monsters the most. No. My biggest fear then was being kidnapped, raped and killed by some sick twisted men out there. This is pretty dark, but it will make sense with a time line.

On 2 February 2013, Anene Booysen was gang raped and disemboweled at a construction site near her home, later found alive by a security guard. She did not survive the injuries sustained. Only one of the suspected 5/6 perpetrators was convicted. My takeaway from this was that the system fails to serve justice for the most grotesque inhumane acts known to man.

On 12 February 2013, Oscar Prestorious murdered Reeva Steenkamp in his home. What this taught me was that a man is capable of ruthlessly taking the life of his partner whom he was meant to love and care for.

On 14 April 2014, Boko Haram abducted 276 girls from Chibok Secondary School in Nigeria. Although not in SA, this taught me that in this world, a mass abduction can be executed successfully due to the weakness of the governmental systems which we rely upon to protect us.

I was 11-12 then and these cases were covered by Morning Live, meaning I became aware of the dangers women and children face. Men too, but not on the basis of gender. The awareness of the cruelty that I could possibly face from simply existing as a woman became ingrained, despite having been a child at the time.

The truth is it’s inescapable.The conditions in South Africa do not necessitate following and keeping up with every death, assault or tragedy to know our reality. The knowing has created indirect collective trauma amongst women in South Africa, those of whom have not directly experienced or witnessed GBV or femicide. One can only imagine the trauma faced by survivors— the knowledge of the continuous cycle of abuse other women face daily coupled with one’s own personal trauma. This serves the purpose of recognising that in light of the current movement, women are not only rallying on the basis of valuing community and justice— but also, if not mainly, the effect that our toxic climate has had on the female psyche.

I need you to sit with that, read it twice if necessary. Of the 5% of rape cases that actually get reported, 92% are likely to be unsuccessful in prosecution. How does that not evoke some sort of fear, paranoia, anger, sadness, frustration or numbness.

It remains with you—the knowing. The knowing that the answer to the question of Am I next can be answered with anywhere: the home, the school, the hospital, the bathroom(public or private), the mall, the sidewalk, the Post Office! Nowhere can be guaranteed to be safe. The who? Statistically speaking: a husband, a partner, and ex, a family member, a stranger, are all possibilities. For the rest of this essay I will expand on the impact of this on the psyche.

Vicarious Trauma

(This is in the context of women who have not directly experienced GBV or any other form of abuse)

Through research, I found that the definition for vicarious trauma is “the experience of absorbing others’ pain in times of their distress so deeply that it affects your own well-being. It’s closely related to concepts like empathy, secondary trauma, vicarious distress and caretaker burnout.”

‘Vicarious trauma’ isn’t a clinical term, but it’s an accepted phrase that gets to the idea that people can be traumatised by something they didn’t personally experience, but that they have secondary experience to…”

The article goes on to explain that this term rings similar to the concept of empathy, stating that there has to be boundaries in place to delineate from our personal experiences and other people’s experiences.

The cause of vicarious trauma is described to be the result of repeated exposure to the worst of human experiences. The article corroborates the introduction where I made mention of my personal experience of vicarious trauma, it states—

“Media can cause some real trauma responses from folks who aren’t even involved in the events… it popping up in our social media algorithm doesn’t mean it’s a good idea for us to take in. It’s not good for us to try to metabolise that constantly.”

The abnormal amount processing that we as women have to do is not normal, but is perceived as such because of the reality in which we exist. A couple of days after Uyinene Mrwetyana’s life was brutally taken, I recall myself, some friends and other girls in my grade coming together to acknowledge this tragedy in the small way we could. Later that day one of my male classmates had made a remark along the lines of “I don’t know why you guys are making such a big deal if this happens everyday,” naturally that triggered me and we got into a disagreement. The reason I bring this up is because on top of the of the described vicarious trauma girls and women experience as a collective, are expected accept this as our reality. To sit down, shut up and let the status quo play out.

Meanwhile a study done in 2022 found that—

“The high prevalence of GBV and femicide in South Africa produces a realistic perceived risk of victimisation among women, which manifests psychologically as chronic fear, hypervigilance, and symptoms consistent with vicarious and collective trauma.”

This further explains why many women choose not to accept things as they are, I struggle to understand how many men don’t see this—or rather choose not to. It seems every time some sort of protest or outrage takes place, we are expected to explain why we care so much and why we are so angry whilst the news, the stories and the experiences of many women and children make it quite obvious why.

To make matters worse women must then go on to witness the deflection that men seem to have mastered. In an excellent essay, a fellow substack writer engaged with this issue of men being reactionary, the most recent and extreme being the formation of a Justiceformen “movement.” If anything, that solidified the fact that women and those of the queer community are each other’s only allies. Men as a category of people are one huge incomprehensible question mark that no book, essay or sociological study could help me understand.

The purpose of this essay was to put a name to and expand on the reality that the incidents GBV and femicide extend beyond individual incidents, but also that it shapes the psychological landscape of women on a collective level because of the structurally reproduced violence against women and children happening on a frequent basis.

To close off, an image from yesterday’s @womenforchangesa post (which brought me to tears)

WE ARE HER

Reminded me of the end of a poem from a YouTube video I watched (then wrote down) of the artist Halsey at a women’s day rally in the US. She said—

But we are not free until all of us are free

So love your neighbour, please treat her kindly

Ask her her story and then shut up and listen

Black, Asian, poor, wealthy, trans, cis, Muslim or Christian

Listen

Listen and then yell at the top of your lungs

Be a voice for all those who have prisoner tongues

For the people who had to grow up way too young

There is work to be done

There are songs to be sung

Lord knows there’s a war to be won.

Till next essay

Xx

~T

(Disclaimer! my first piece on here, I typed more like an informal essay <3)

With all the chaos happening in the world around us, I wanted to do a deep dive on something that has been a recent positive in my day to day. I also prefer it over doomscrolling.

🍃

Olivia Dean is finally getting her flowers and I love that so much for her! This prompted me to go back in my music library to discover how I first came across her music.

Turns out the song Dive (acoustic) was part of a playlist I had made in 2023. During my childhood my mother always played the R&B classics in the car, I think this is why my taste is mostly R&B/soul. Stumbling upon Dean’s music gave me that same feeling of warmth, good vibes with a trickle of nostalgia. I don’t have the word for it but I think there is a certain liveliness to her music, even the ballads.

Not so long after I discovered her, Dean released a single called The Hardest Part, with a version of the song being with none other than the great LEON BRIDGES! Anyone who knows his iconic song River, knows how beautiful his voice is. It was no surprise when their voices blended so perfectly together when singing the song. For me it was such an unexpected, but pleasant collaboration.

You can imagine my surprise, a relatively short period after the aforementioned single was released, Olivia Dean’s debut album titled Messy was released.

I would be lying if I said I solely listened to the album because I had been exposed to Dean’s music. The album cover just pulls you in. The colour scheme. The smile. The tooth gem.The pink backdrop.The earrings!! They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but solely judging the cover I assumed it would be a worth while listen.

Not only was I right, but one of my favourite songs of 2023 came from this album. For gatekeeping purposes, I will not reveal which one. Now, I will not be doing a full blown album review, but I must say that upon revisiting the album, the opening song creates a great foundation for what is further explored in the rest of the album.This is not only because the title UFO is conceptually interesting, but also because sonically it is quite a unique song. I guess you’d have to listen to it to know what I mean. In explaining it as the intro, Dean for Apple Music stated it was meant to be a—

‘Hello, everyone. You’re about to go on a journey with this shy alien who is trying to find a place to land herself. Come along.’

And boy does she land. Full transparency, I only frequented two to three songs after listening to the album. This doesn’t take away from the fact it definitely is a beautiful body of work. By the time one reaches the outro song, Carmen (an ode to Dean’s grandmother), you know that she is an artist worth listening to and keeping up with.

Following the first album, a couple of singles were dropped. A personal favourite of mine is Time in 2024. As a sucker for a good guitar strum and angelic vocals, there was no way I couldn’t enjoy that song. To me, the appeal of Dean’s music is how real it seems, assuming that she writes based off real life, the specifics in her lyricism gives grounds for an assumption . I will further get into this when speaking of The Art of Loving

I am no musical genius, but I mostly find that when an artist can make you feel or resonate with the concept or messaging of the song, without having a personally experienced whatever the topic is— that is a testament to great lyricism. Add that with the soulful R&B vibe and sometimes the fun pop element, I would argue she was bound to reach the level of popularity that she is right now experiencing.

Ok now to what (in my opinion) is arguably one of the best albums to come out of this year thus far…

The Art of Loving: enters the chat

First things first, I really love that she stuck to the in motion picture element that the cover photo for Messy also had. I think it perfectly encapsulates what not only love is, but life as well. In motion, hard to capture perfectly and dare I say—Messy? (Get it? Lol) Not only that, but its also just a visual representation of what you want to do when listening to songs like Man I need and Nice to each other. Get up and move! That feel good, get up and dance energy is very present in those two songs.

When Nice To Each Other was initially released as a single, I didn’t give it much attention because I had a set playlist, although when the music video came out I really liked that. I am one of those—once I have my playlist I will listen to that for three months straight, no deviation or additions take place.

When the album was officially released during late September, on my first listen I already had favourites. Miss Dean really outdid herself. In an interview for Apple Music, she stated—

“You can make whatever you want, there’s no rules and that’s such a freeing feeling,”

You can hear it in the melodies and how she performs the songs on this album—she just had fun with it and exercised that freedom so to speak. In the Apple Music interview on The Rebecca Judd show, the question as to whether she writes off of true stories/experiences comes up. Dean goes on to state—

“100% I would never ever write something that wasn’t true or didn’t happen to me. It’s not interesting to me, like I don’t…it doesn’t do anything for me to make it up.”

This explains the authenticity in her lyricism. A Couple minutes is one of the best performing songs right now, I would assume it is because of how raw, real and relatable the lyrics are. That coupled with that beautiful melody, which reminds me of Bill Withers’ Lean On Me (I went crazy trying to figure that out) combined with that angelic voice— recipe for AN ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE! From pressing play and hearing those violin strings you just know it won’t disappoint. I don’t even have an ex to miss when I listen to the song, but I still resonated with that feeling of care for a person that used to have such a strong presence in your life. The truth of it also just adds to the emotional aspect — the lyrics being so specific. *Sigh

The first song I listened to on repeat from the album was Loud. I am a sucker for a ballad so this is not the in very least surprising. The gentle guitar melody and the effortlessness of Dean’s voice, which progressively builds up to the chorus. The silence is so loud. Simple yet profound. Plus I love an oxymoron. The messaging of this song indicates the heaviness of the silence. Unspoken words, lack of willingness to communicate, questions left unanswered. Dean closes off the song softly singing

I understand

If you changed your mind about me

But all you had to so was say

Absolutely gut wrenching, whether one sympathises or empathises, it still gets to you one way or another.

Last but not least, (unfortunately I won’t be mentioning all the songs) my current favourite Let Alone The One You Love. Ironically I just saw a reel where Dean answers a question of what her favourite line she has written is, turns out it’s in this song. The interesting thing about this song is that my sister put me onto it, I hadn’t listening to it much upon the release. Have been hooked ever since I revisited it. The underlying message being of frustration with this person/relationship coupled with that classic soul/R&B tempo and Adele like execution—chef’s kiss!

I love the energy she brings to this part of the song specifically. I think this touches on a sentiment that is echoed amongst women in friendship circles and even here on Substack regarding dating culture, especially heterosexual women and our dynamics with men. The expression of one’s frustrations, expectations, thoughts and desires being deemed as ‘too much’ aka dramatic by men. The indirect hinting that you need to be more carefree, a chill girl or better yet—the cool girl. Cue the Cool Girl Monologue from Gone Girl. I relate to that fully, especially “not having it,” as she goes on to sing. I think women, or people overall should have little to no tolerance of a person making them feel like their genuine personality is overwhelming. The vulnerability that comes with romance is scary enough as is, someone expressing that you should make your genuine personality more palatable for them is just bizarre. The next—if not best part of the song for me is when Dean leads to the chorus, singing—

Who would do that to a friend, let alone the one you love?

A lot to unpack there. Now I am for the firm belief that friendship is a fundamental foundation that a relationship should build upon. That said, I think as women we have high expectations in friendships— I would argue almost less than we do in relationships at times. Women are inclined to be more reliant on friendships for emotional support and affection, so this question raises that point exactly— why is it okay to inflict any form of hurt onto someone you are in a relationship with, that you would never tolerate from a friend? I think this speaks to the fact that women tend to want a romantic relationship so desperately, to the point that they are willing to ignore problematic behaviour like this. I will indulge myself with a comparison. I have often seen when the topic of cheating is discussed online, many women (on average) specifically mention that they would be would be willing to end a friendship with a friend who turns out to be cheating on her partner, men usually stating the opposite. Many times men go on to state the whole “its none of my business line.” The question that arises is why women are willing to do the cutting off?

The argument I have mostly seen is similar to that of the mentioned lyric, but flipped—if they can they can do that to someone they are in a committed relationship with, what would they do to you as a friend? In this video I saw on instagram they discuss this, albeit differently, it still engages with the topic at hand. I think with women, the emotional connection in close friendship is just as strong (if not more) as romantic relationships. This creates a situation where one will assume that betrayal is inevitable/has taken place without your knowledge if the person you are friends with has been capable of cheating on someone. This would be a valid concern, especially if you consider the principle of it rather than your specific relationship or friendship.

With how men respond to it, I cannot speak on because quite frankly, I don’t understand the logic. Maybe it’s a birds of a feather flock together? Not that all the men in the hypothetical friend group cheat, but rather that they don’t see the value in holding a friend accountable in regard to morals or ways they treat other people. I recognise this is a generalisation, but it is commonly known that men tend to remain friends in situations where women cut each other off or naturally go their separate ways. All of that to say I really love that song, the delivery, messaging, and feeling it invokes.

Other than all of that, Olivia Dean really just speaks to the inner lover girl who loves a good jam to belt out or dance to—or both! To close off I will be attaching some images because she also has a cute cool girl kind of style and it deserves it’s moment.

That’s all from me, had fun typing this.

~T