That’ll never catch on, I said.

Years later, and everyone is laid off.

By Jane Bokun

I’ve always wanted to start a podcast.

But I don’t want to bore people with my no longer young, life.

Also, I need some podcasts to share with both readers and me. Right now, I listen to Schwarzenegger and his podcast, “Pump Club.” Arnold talks about the real things where older people have true problems. In one episode, a woman wrote about how she has trouble getting out of bed in the morning as many seniors do.

“Tap your finger three times and get up,” he says.

So simple, yet so effective. That’s what I love about “Pump Club.”

Along my podcast way, a few years ago, I went to the Palmer House, one of the oldest, most elegant hotels in Chicago to celebrate my birthday. The busy lounge here is legendary, draped in red and gold wallpaper and stunning original 1920s fixtures.

Me

Once I sidled up to the bar, I met two blonde women about my age. They were having fun during a holiday weekend, and we zeroed in on each other.

“What’s going on?” asked one of the women.

“I’m here to celebrate my birthday,” I told them.

With that, both women immediately jumped into how confused they were about what to do in older age.

“I like podcasts,” I told them.

In fact, whether it’s finance, sex or getting your zest for life back, these five podcasts can provide the answers. I’ve found some solace in listening to podcasts geared to help us. Some of the podcasts use a fee for subscription on websites like Spotify, but many are free.

To the rescue, the “Older Women and Friends” podcast. Like a reassuring friend, Jane Leder hosts experts like gerontologist and author of the book “Aging Sideways,” Jeanette Leardi. On the podcast, Leardi, says, “the aging brain changes, it’s how we stay engaged in the world. Of course, we slow down our reaction times and can have problems with short-term memory. Even 20-year-olds have moments of forgetting. Brains can change to create more brain cells and create connections between these brain cells. These connections create superhighways in our brains.”

“Aging is so misunderstood,” Leardi says. “It’s not all gloom and doom. If you want to go dancing and you’re 78, do it.”

The next great podcast is called “Women in the Middle.” It’s hosted by Lifestyle Coach Suzy Rosenstein, and it has over a million downloads. She has some ideas that can help women cope with aging in her podcast.

Grabbling with midlife disappointment is also something she covers. Midlife infidelity is another heavy topic she and her guests explore with psychologist Dr. Lauren Napolitano who says there’s a lot of stigmas around emotional or sexual infidelity.

“It’s a big wakeup call,” Dr. Napolitano says. “People are on auto pilot and now it’s time to reassess where we’re going.”

She cautions that people don’t need to stay in bad relationships.

“There’s no use continually trying at something that’s not working,” Dr. Napolitano says.

“Start to determine what you can control and can’t control,” Rosenstein agrees.

Along those lines, another great podcast is “Boomer Banter.” It consists of real talk about aging well with Beverly Glaser. In one of her podcasts, she talks about preparing your nest egg when something unexpected happens. Greenwood Capital’s Melissa Bain is on the show. She delivers holistic financial advice. The first subject she talked about is how much should we save for emergency funds. She says one of the most important things people can do to protect their financial assets.

“Calculate your monthly living expenses and then have 6 to 12 months in money available” “It’s a balance but having an emergency fund available keeps you from using credit or using retirement accounts. She says we never want to pull out from things like a 401 K (oops).

Another new podcast I’ve been listening to is from Hilton Head Health where I recently spent a few days. This lovely resort is in South Carolina where some aging people like me go to find inner peace and help with diet. H3alth Talk is Hilton Head Health’s new podcast exploring all things health and wellness. From nutrition tips to lifestyle changes, there is always something new to learn about improving physical and mental health.

Its focus on diet and exercise is what attracted me. Here at the resort, they find the underlying cause of weight problems and focus on self-esteem. The host David Chesworth talks with experts on just what to do to work on your health. There are mental health professionals, dietitians, and more, as well as inspiring stories from team members, guests, and others who have achieved their health goals.

Living Ageless and Bold with Christina Daves – celebrates women over 50 living life on their terms. Daves is an influencer. Her guest, Sylvia Theisen, helps women figure out their lives. Theisen is a psychologist and social worker turned life coach who wanted to help women with person growth. This episode is about getting your mojo back. I was attracted because I want my mojo back.

“Pro-aging is a new movement,” she says. “It’s like I have unlimited possibilities, but what should I do? Easier to identify what we don’t want. Maybe you’re over giving, and you don’t want to be. “

Daves says you can’t go through life and not disappoint anyone. People in our lives have had a sweet deal with us doing everything for them and they don’t want to give it up.

Daves says she struggles with delegating. Now, she lets people help and she’s much happier.

As for me, as soon as I wake up, I have my coffee and put on my podcasts. Mornings without a regular routine are hard for me and I find inspiration and sometimes, just the will to go forward in a positive manner. It’s been a hard row to hoe navigating my 60s and I’ve gone from happy and I’m going to beat aging, to sweet death, take me now. But listening to people like Dr. Napolitano in the “Women in the Middle” podcast, I meet people just like me and we can laugh and learn from each other. Then, I’m ready to do my 4,000 daily steps. It really helps.

Freelancer Jane Bokun is a long-term reporter for news outlets such as Gannett and has a blog called Banana Peel, www.bpeeled.com. She is based in Chicago and writes for The Ethel e-newsletter.

In fact, I started experimenting with side gigs as soon as I started in the working world. Now, in retirement, they are my saviors. I’ve tried almost every side hustle that’s legal and within reason. Why? I can’t help myself. I love a good side hustle and you may too.

The three I’ve worked on include product sampling in big box stores, teaching and heading up six-minute dating.

The first job is product sampling. It’s a job I still do and is perfect for anyone who wants to set their own schedule as a contractor. It includes five-hour food and wine demonstrations with companies such as Target, Walmart and many more. The pay can range from $15 to $30 per hour and contractors are paid every two weeks.

Sometimes I’m sampling products such as vitamins or even prunes and wine. I lay out rows of brown, wrinkly prunes and people are sneakily trying to take more than one prune behind my back.

“They’re free,” I have to remind them. People love a free sample.

One the best things about sampling is you meet so many interesting people.

“I’m an opera singer by day,” said one attractive senior who worked with me serving drinks.

“My kids are out of the house and it gives me something to do at night,” she says. “I love the money, too.”

I showcased press-on nails at another event and drew crowds. Having a good sense of humor helps as well. This job was $22 an hour and lasted for five hours with breaks. Kaching!

If you’re looking for something a little more cerebral, substitute teaching can fit the bill.

You can sign up to fill-in while teachers are absent. They give you a lesson plan so there is no doubt about what to do. The only problem may be unruly children in the classroom, and I’ve really only run into that once.

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That time the students weren’t listening and didn’t want to listen as I taught them. They then decided to go together to the principal’s office to really express that they weren’t too keen on me. That was a stressful day, but most students are truly easy to teach.

Either way, substitute teaching offers a stable and meaningful job opportunity. Full-time substitute teachers can receive long-term school placements, a steady paycheck, full healthcare benefits, paid holidays, and more. You can get a substitute teaching license in about a week.

Seniors are welcome in substitute teaching and you can do it when you want. It can pay about $150 a day. Some requirements are you are a college grad, but you also can be a teacher’s assistant in the classroom.

Six Minute Dating, my third side gig, I thought of myself, but others do it as well.

First, I partnered with a national dating chain and asked the company if they would join with me to showcase six-minute dating nights. Nowadays, I would use a dating organizer organization.

I pitched the dates as fun and what do you have to lose? I advertised my event in bulletins, newspapers and on social media. It came together nicely and there were no out-of-pocket expenses. That dating company provided some of the accouterments such as signage and a bell and that was about it.

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For my first gig, I recruited a local family-owned restaurant and they provided some dips, crackers and cheeses. Those who attended had to buy their own drinks. I curated matching (participants fill out a quick profile so you can seat them strategically). I then seated ten men and women two at a time and rang a bell. It was off! They got to know each other within six minutes.

I charged $20 per person and promised a night of fun. The couples were all I needed and I had them in excess. It can be a lonely world. Even though in some cities, six-minute dating has fallen off, it was a hit in mine. Now, I would have used themed events with seniors, dog owners, etc. It was rudimentary when I first did it.

By day, I worked on the news and once a week, I was the head of local Six Minute Dating. It worked so well I had to hire another person to help. At the end of a night I made about $500 and two couples got married.

Some side gigs are a mixed bag. One gig showcasing various food products, required me to wear a hairnet, ugh, not me.

Today’s Gig economy has grown by leaps and bounds. It requires taking smaller jobs that offer flexibility but no insurance or benefits beside pay. Most of us use it for extra money. In my case I’m 68 and retired and I still love gigging. It pays some bills and provides me with lots of fun and new friends.

If you’re curious, you too, can find a job doing demonstrations in a big box store, by searching online for companies that do connect people with side hustles, such as

https://www.flexjobs.com/

and

https://partners.thepennyhoarder.com/

. For substitute teaching access

https://www.hellosubs.co/

. Finally, for Six Minute Dating try Pre‑Dating Speed Dating (https://www.pre-dating.com/).

You can see them in the next installment of the Four Old Broads play, “The Miss Magnolia Senior Citizen Beauty Pageant” coming up June 11-17 at the Footlight Theater in Michigan City.

The hilarious play features four sassy women of a certain age in a nursing facility who unite to compete for the Miss Magnolia Senior Citizen Beauty Pageant.

Michigan City’s Footlight Theater, with its beloved black box setting, has done several Old Broads comedies which were written by Leslie Kimbel. The upcoming play is directed by award-winning local actor Leslie Evans. The plays are bawdy and blend humor, heart and friendship in a way that’s easy to take.

Michigan City’s Footlight Theater has a new play coming up which highlights The Four Old Broads

In this version, the Broads enter a beauty pageant run by the retirement home where they reside. There’s only one problem. They must have talent. One Broad even enters the talent contest as a stripper and another has an act where she dances with her pet squirrel.

In the play, the broads have advice to spare.

“Never let your man get hungry or horny,” one Broad advises.

If men are feeling left out, there are two who joined as eye candy and love interests.

One cast member, Noel Carlson said he caught the acting bug about 25 years ago.

“I just love getting the right reaction from the audience,” Carlson says.

Each of the four broads are close friends and say they’re like family in real life.

Kathy Chase, another member of the cast, says she loves the camaraderie. Christie Long, another member, says she’s been with the Footlight Theater for a long time. All unite in a play known for its laughs. It is Golden Girls humor, and it helps the audience better understand the aging process.

The Senior Citizen Beauty Pageant is at 7 p.m. Thursday and Friday and 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday June 11-17. Cost is $17 for adults , $12 for children and $12 on Thursdays at the Footlight Theater, 1705 Franklin St. in Michigan City. For more information access footlightplayers.org or call 219-874-4035.

It was Friday night, there was a stage and a professional looking microphone, and lots of singers. There also was a teleprompter with words to songs you pick to sing. It was definitely Karaoke night and we were primed.

I wasn’t alone. There were about 20 other people (prolly not retirees) who couldn’t wait to scream or do high kicks after a few drinks. Apparently, it wasn’t their first time, either. It was a regular event for some of them on a Friday night at a marina where I am a member of a boat club.

Not me singing, I will update with a video!

After some maritime training, I became a boat captain and that was really scary but somewhat freeing. I joined for a retirement activity and I wasn’t sorry. It became really fun and a cathartic help for my anxiety.

When I saw the courageous people singing, I thought why not take this retirement terror even further? My plan is really to scare myself to death before my actual death. Next up might even be rock climbing in a big, barren desert where the nearest hospital is 50 miles away. If they have a sign-up sheet for rock climbing, I know my husband will sign me up because he did it for the Friday sing.

“I signed you up,” he says with pride.

I didn’t even bother to ask why he didn’t sign himself up to sing. He lives vicariously through me. Besides, I didn’t know if the crowd was ageist or how many in the audience were seniors.

I was not alone and when I finished singing, the crowd clapped like I was Barbara Streisand. The crowd was welcoming and so nice.The Karaoke owner who had been recording, even played back my song which was “I saw the light” by Todd Rungren. Success!

Because there are no exact stats on seniors who do karaoke, some sources say its a common and popular activity for many seniors. In senior living facilities, assisted living groups, and community events, karaoke nights are a regular feature, often held weekly or monthly. These sessions can help seniors:

1. socialize

2. have fun

3. improve memory and think about something else other than dying.

In fact, because of these benefits, many senior centers, retirement communities, and even family gatherings incorporate karaoke into their activities. It’s definitely growing.

“What could it possibly be?” I thought pensively.

“It looks like a boomer wrote it,” she says. “OMG, boomer resumes, what could they be like?”

Boomers are people that are even 65 and up. Could they be handwritten? Or, stained with tears?

I set out to find out about this phenomenon, and I found out it’s real!

It appears just copying our boomer resumes with their left sided columns isn’t going to cut it for artificial intelligence. In fact, according to Forbes, the million-dollar question is this: can your resume get through automated and HR screeners so that you will get the all-important phone call to set up an interview.

Since I and my husband are over 65 and retired, we often wish we could pay our bills. Our Social Security plan is more than most, but if we pay just 3 bills, and that’s being generous, we are broke.

For example, I’m sure not even over eager AI wants us and certainly wouldn’t pick us in a job competition. Yup, there’s compelling evidence that not only is this humiliating in a “why am I still alive way,” it is compelling. The world is no longer, if it ever was, interested in us. It reminds me of Michael Jackson’s song, They Don’t Really Care About Us.”

So, we take the Chat GPT classes and even Artificial Intelligence, now we know something, right?

“It doesn’t matter,” says a friend of mine. “No one wants you.”

And that was my most upbeat friend.

So, I thought I’d equip all you jones generation, millennials and gen-Xers, with tips to avoid being like me in a resume situation.

To avoid having a “boomer” or outdated resume, here are some tips.

• Don’t list your graduation date, lol duh.

• Stop using AOL.

• Don’t say things like looking for a challenging position. Say things like want to get a better aerating system in my car so it’s more comfortable because I’m living in it.

• Keep it short, like the rest of your life.

Most importantly, put your LinkedIn profile on the resume. This one also makes me laugh ruefully because my husband just got a LinkedIn (pronounced LINK-ED-IN).

Supposedly, the goal is not to hide your age with a facelift, it’s to say you’re still able to hold a job albeit not full time.

It’s like the late, great comedian Joan Rivers once paraphrased I can’t believe I’m 80 and people still want me. She was a cockeyed optimist I loved.

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Once I saw my real face in pictures, I immediately wanted to change it (some things you can’t unsee). I’ve been doing things like Botox, lasering, injectables and more since my 30s so I’m not a newbie. I also double check each doctor or spa I try. I started early-in wanting to change things after seeing my real face instead of my perceived old lady look.

For the Hoosiers, I recently tried a new spa called Mullally Med Spa in Crown Point, Indiana. Once I arrived at the Spa’s event and after some tasty pink champagne, charcuterie, and scoring a complimentary facial, I became a devotee. I’ve been to spas all over the United States and this one feels like home.

At Mullally Med Spa, I tried the complimentary facial, then moved on to Sculptra, which is a gel-like substance made of poly-L-lactic acid that seems a lot scarier and more painful than one would think. It is a little painful around the mouth, but that’s the only pain. It has been around since 1999 and was approved by the FDA in 2004.

Sculptra should be injected by a doctor, as with a lot of medical things, I believe. Luckily, at the Mullally Med Spa, Dr. Tim Mullally, D.O., was my injector. Dr. Mullally says he sees a lot of patients who use Sculptra which really helped me. It’s really a series of shots that don’t show up until about three months.

“It’s a more natural look,” says Dr. Mullally.

According to the Cleveland Cinic, a healthcare provider injects this filler underneath your skin where you want a fuller or smoother appearance. It’s perfect for those of us who lost weight on the GLP-1.

Cleveland Clinic experts say Poly-L-lactic acid is a collagen stimulator that absorbs into your body a few days after treatment to encourage your cells to produce more collagen. Collagen is a protein in your skin — as well as in your connective tissues, bones and cartilage — that provides structure, support and strength.

It’s been about three months and I’m starting to notice some collagen action in my lower face which is where I was injected. I received two treatments all together and didn’t notice anything until last week.

I woke up and my skin was less wrinkly and a little smoother. I felt more confident than I had in years, For me, I would say Sculptra is working. The injection is supposed to last for about two years. I could be dead by then so I’m good.

I wasn’t alone in noticing, either. When I recently went to visit family in Durham, N.C., our flight attendant thought my husband was my father (Score!). That was worth the money that Sculptra cost (about $1,000 a treatment).

One more story: When I went to tea recently, my friend said, “Did you get your eyes done?”

No, it’s Sculptra and I’m happy. Now I have a cushion while I’m saving for that facelift.

For more information about Sculptra, call Mullally Med Spa at 219-207-7845.

As heady as those connected moments are, we know that as soon as we take our photos, they’re going to neverland in the backs of our phones. I never take them out and I want to start. With the aid of today’s apps and devices, we can do more.

First of all, If you haven’t done it, back up your computer or smartphone photos. It’s the most important thing you can do to make sure you can always enjoy your images. Luckily, there’s a painless way to back up your photos, and that’s to set up automatic backups. To do that you can go to settings and click on iCloud backup (http;//www.icloud.com). Then turn it on in settings. In the long-term, it’s always best to back up your files and photos.

Besides the iCloud, there are free solutions to back up your pictures including Google Photos for Android or iOS and Amazon Prime Unlimited Photo Storage via the Amazon Photos app. Options with small subscription fees include Dropbox.

If you’re not thinking about messing around with apps there are devices where you don’t have to download anything. A top device for many people is the Photo Stick (www.photostick.com). It works with any phone and can save up to 60,000 photos & videos (8G, 64G, 128 GB). Best for us grands, its easy-to-use and there’s no software or app to install. It also automatically backs up thousands of photos and organizes them for you. Easiest, it’s basically a USB Flash Drive and costs about $35. Lastly, if you want to store your photos on your computer, connect your smartphone to your PC with a Lightning Connector or mini-USB cord.

After you’ve backed up your precious pics, it matters what device you’ve used to take your pictures. Some people who use actual cameras such as the Canon most likely store photos on disks. But, if you use your Android smartphone or iPhone camera as your only camera, it’s so easy to snap a photo and forget it. Recently, my sister-in-law sent me the cutest picture of myself and her puppy and I never even realized I was in any photos with her dog. Now, I’m obsessed with a photo I never even knew I took and there could be thousands more. I should also mention that I rarely take a good picture.

There are things you can do to save your pictures until you want to take them out and look at them again.

“Collecting photos over time is like a digital diary,” says phone enthusiast Brooke Pospychala, a lively Chicago grandmother with thousands of pictures. “I love that I can look at a photograph and be transcended to that moment in time that I may have forgotten about otherwise.”

After everything is backed up, there is clean-up for your photos. Find your pictures wherever they are all located on your camera. Do they all get saved to a photo file? That’s great, go to that file and delete the ones you don’t want, or that are grainy, or don’t picture you in the fabulous light you want. It’s like cleaning up your junk drawer. You’re going to feel like a new, well organized human being. If you’ve got birthday party, graduation party or any parties, keep just a few of those photos.

For those of you who are afraid to try new things. Just do it and then you can brag about it. For example, downloading apps. This is the dirty secret of many of us in our sixties. My 66-year-old sister who works in tech is afraid to download an app.

“I don’t know how to do that,” she always says.

I know her knowledge is limited because I bought her a Google Nest to listen to music and hear the weather although it still sits in the box. It only required an app and she won’t download it.

Here’s how anyone can download an app:

1. Using an Android phone, you can first open Google Play, or, the Play Store app. Then, find the name of the app you want. When you find it, click install.

2. With an iPhone, downloading an app is much the same process. You can google the name of the app, or click on the App Store icon, download the app and click install.

You can use an app called Flickr (http://www.flickr.com) which lets you share and host hundreds of your photos. Best of all, it’s free. The app, Purrge (

http://www.purrge.com

), lets you delete lots of photos in no time at all. It’s faster and there are a lot less steps. It does have a fee.

Now, you’re really ready to save your precious pics for all time, or the next family group text. My brother commemorates birthdays by sending each family member a collage of photos he has taken of them throughout the years. I thought, “what a lot of work.” Now, I realize it’s a lovely way to pay tribute to chubby-cheeked grandkids who are now teenagers, or those you love.

Now that you’ve got a handle on saving and collecting your photos you can start thinking about creating albums or archives of pictures you can share with others. There’s a device now, called Bevy (by Lineage Labs) that collects your digital photos and organizes them saving you the time. It’s both a device and a service that collects photos from your family that can be stored in one place.

It might be a lot to learn, but it’s worth it. For some photo collectors, it’s a labor of love.

So now, exploring a second career, I applied for a role as a freewheeling, older flight attendant. Why? I’m an optimist, love people and like everyone else, could use some extra money.

After years as a writer/reporter, I thought I could retire easily, but I find I still want to explore life and a new job.

My first resume went to an opening at a charter airline called GoJet. This airline, owned by United Airlines, was established in 2005 and headquartered in St. Louis. It’s got more than 1100 employees and has 250 daily flights to 50-plus destinations. I wasn’t worried about my age or my lack of experience. I just like to give it the old college try

“I see a lot of older flight attendants on my flights,” agreed my friend Mary.

The next time I flew, I asked one.

“I’m 69,” says Jackie, a comely redhead and Southwest Airlines flight attendant. “It’s been great.”

This is what AI considers an older flight attendant

That’s all I needed. When I sent in my resume, I didn’t think I would hear anything. Then they sent an official email, and it looked legit. I didn’t even get nervous until I got in my car to go to the interview. It was far away, and I didn’t think I would make it on time, so I asked for a Zoom call, and they obliged. There were five of us in the call, it was clear I could be everyone’s grandmother, but that seems to never stop me.

I was nervous. Some airlines may have an unofficial age limit of around 65 or 70 years, because of the physicality of the job. However, others may be flexible and need empathy and friendliness, which I have in spades.

Here’s how it went: I got in the call, and they treated me just like everyone else and why not? I walk 4,000 steps per day (most days) and I’ve even tried belly dancing and Tai Chi. It never even occurred to me that I couldn’t be a flight attendant. I keep up with my Botox and fillers, and I think I’m sort of cute in the right light and distance. Also, I’m hip. I think I’m 35, not 67. have I have a college degree and many years as a writer/reporter.

I was confident in my answers and many of the younger applicants were not.

Then the recruiters started asking only me harder questions like what’s the part of the plane we recently redesigned? Ah, they weren’t going to fool me, I knew they took out the back seats for a roomy atmosphere. In fact, I answered all their questions with ease. I even tried to show off my big word vocabulary but there was no positive feedback.

“We’ll get back to you by the end of the day,” the recruiters told us.

Alas, as soon as we all hung up from the Zoom, I got an email from GoJet. The recruiters told us in the earlier interview, we had to spend months in training in another state, and I was ready. It could happen. My hands were sweaty when I clicked on GoJet’s email. Then came the answer. It was thanks for trying, but no. Maybe they thought I was showing off with my big words.

In reality, a Go Get trainer said they were looking for more experienced flight attendants because the small airline’s flights only have one attendant. Full disclosure? I didn’t want to fly around alone with no one to bounce ideas off.

“Can a 67-Year-Old be a Flight Attendant?”

“Airlines often have their own policies,” writer Ian Moon says.

“What are they?” I wondered.

In intrepid reporter style, I started calling each of the major airlines and asking them what it takes. Some didn’t call me back or answer when I asked about hiring older flight attendants. I ended up getting responses from American, Delta, and Southwest Airlines.

Here’s the answers I got: American Airlines requires a neat and professional appearance, high school diploma and moving to whatever city is required.

My favorite so far has been Delta Airlines who wrote, “each Delta flight attendant has a story of their own. Whether a career as a flight attendant is the first or second chapter in someone’s story, we’re honored to be part of 25,000+ journeys.”

It’s a hard job; most flight attendants told me. Overall, airlines must ensure their flight attendants are physically and mentally fit. Even if candidates love the job, it doesn’t always work for newbie flight attendants of any age. Some people finish their training and quit before they start, one stewardess told me.

Last, I queried Southwest Airlines. The media representative for them reached out and offered: “There is not a federal regulation on upper age limit for commercial flight attendants like there is for pilots.”

In the end, I am still game to try out and think I could be good at the job even though I am slightly older. I was recently on two flights that had to fly until they almost ran out of gas because the weather was bad and no runway would let them land. My plane then diverted to another city than originally planned. On this flight, I was sitting next to a long-term stewardess. She was on the flight in case she was needed.

“I see the man who hired me on this flight,” she told me. “I have to thank him for giving me this job which I dearly love.”

Now that gives me hope to try again.

I’m still going to die my hair because this new “let your hair go gray thing” is beyond my comprehension. My mother gave us her exact hair dye color for the coffin.

Gray hair screams I’m quitting this rat race. It’s like women who wear the same black polyester pants with a printed polyester shirt every day. What else could you say but, “she quit.”

To keep up with my youthful aspirations, I have nt gone gray and I decided to treat my older self and sign up for an invigorating class called Chat GPT Prompts. Even though I earned a journalism degree, I was not a great lover of learning in the ‘80s. I’m also harboring a sneaking suspicion that I have Alzheimer’s Disease because of the ads that are constantly running on television for people in my age group.

I had hope that maybe being old had made me a lover of data and studying, instead of my younger years of skipping class and getting high. Maybe because I’m old, I’m a whole, new person.

That isn’t what happened. The class showed up on Facebook, which seems to really be my crowd, and it was somehow sponsored by Purdue University. My chemical engineer husband went to Purdue and I wanted to let him know how easy it was to attend that university. It was about $1,000 for the class and was worth it to rub my Chat GPT knowledge in my husband’s face. Truthfully, I was rubbing It in everyone’s face just to seem relevant.

I would drop, “I’m taking a Chat GPT class” into any conversation like an attention hungry stepchild. It worked. People were looking at me with respect as if I had said, “So, I just won a Pulitzer.”

Once in the class, which was online (ugh), I felt a sense of invigoration. I can learn new things, I thought. What I didn’t count on was making slides, google slides to be exact. In my whole working life, I’ve never had to make a slide. I never even had to do a PowerPoint. They didn’t even have the Internet when I first started school and only a crude one at work. Slides are a whole new level of hell for me.

There was also a another slide problem for me. I really didn’t want anyone in the class of engineers, computer analysts and scrum masters to know that I didn’t know.

I’ve done all the homework, but I don’t think this class is for me,” said another elderly woman.“

“True dat,” I thought to myself.

I became behinder and behinder in the class and started to worry. Would I actually have to tell the teacher I couldn’t make a slide, but I was getting hundreds in the weekly tests? The class was only five weeks long and was packed with assignments and tests.

“Is this class the Harvard of slide making?” I thought.

Finally, I and the teacher did the slides together. It was still hard for me, but eventually I figured it out.

In the end, it’s not the certificate that matters. It’s not the end of the road, it’s the journey. I landed up learning Chat GPT and it is a help. I get a lot of answers when I Chat GPT Alzheimer’s.

I had just gotten back into town to take care of my aging and sickly parents after leaving my job as an assignment editor at an ABC affiliate.

My parents had honeymooned at London House, one the oldest, grandest hotels in Chicago. They saw cool, scatting, aging jazz singer Ella Fitzgerald there and she was alone! It was like a private mini concert.

“What would you guys like to hear?” she said to my father. He never forgot that. Fitzgerald treated him like a friend.

What I didn’t realize on the press tour was I was the oldest person in the London House media group. The other reporters let me know it by ignoring, using side eyes and general hatred. I was in my fifties, a young, fun fifties. I didn’t have a baby until 40, so I forgot that was too old.

It would be the first of many, “I’m too old” experiences I would have in Chicago, and I wonder why that’s okay. Blatant racism or any other ism wouldn’t be okay. Why is it okay to make the elderly feel bad about themselves? With all that worry about impending death and whether to go casket or cremation, do we really need the extra vilification?

According to Harvard.edu, ageism costs more than bad feelings in America, it can shorten lives. If everyone treats you like you should already be gone and are taking up airspace, maybe your life no longer has meaning.

I applied to a copywriting job at Nuvew, a small agency in Crown Point, Indiana. I was nervous about applying. Even though I have more than 25 years’ experience, would they say I’m too old?

The agency was in a house, and I was ushered into a small room with a big, floor vacuum near the chair. I wasn’t expecting that. Naturally, I fell over it and was even bleeding. The young team there didn’t even look up.

“Are you alright?” one of the team members finally asked.

With that, they gave me a band aid and conducted the interview as if my injury wasn’t their fault. Who leaves huge vacuums next to a chair in their conference room and conducts interviews?

It’s curious now that I’m an oldster, the ones I find myself doing the most with are young people that have a willingness to explore new things. I retired but still took on some side gigs such as selling wine and even selling Dyson vacuum cleaners and $500 blow dryers. Everyone who works selling things is a lot younger than me and I recently worked with one. When our shift was over, she said, “Do want to go get a bloody Mary?” Sure, I thought, but won’t you be embarrassed with your grandma? Nope, this 28-year-old was game and so was I. It’s the attitude. I try never to judge. It makes you old.

That happened a few months ago while visiting my son in Durham, NC. As usual, I was experiencing some balance issues and I thought I had them under control. When I walked, sometimes I couldn’t feel my feet, then sensations returned. I thought it might be neuropathy because of my Type 2 diabetes and hadn’t yet seen a podiatrist.

Arriving back at his house from a hockey game, I was proud of myself for going up and down long, skinny, treacherous stairs at the game with no injuries. In fact, I was happy until the moment I fell right on my nose going up the small, uneven stairs leading to his apartment.

“Crrrack,” I heard my nose break loudly. It was the fifth break of my large proboscis, so I knew it well. After surgery, it was time for a deep dive into the best and most healthy orthopedic tennis shoes. I didn’t want to be caught unawares again. It was hard to narrow down the proper athletic shoes that might help with falls and it’s a personal choice, but I’ve found these six to be recommended by experts.

Hoka One Athletic Shoes

First of all, there’s Hokas. In fact, I’m wearing them right now. The Hoka One athletic shoes are wider and are the “in” thing right now like electric bikes or pickleball dresses. Although some people swear by them for running and athletics, they have also gained popularity for those with gait issues.

Why are Hokas so great?

The Hoka foot pad looks round like a pancake and is said to have cushion and comfort. The thick midsole provides comfort, helping impact on joints and muscles during sporting activities. The extra cushioning can help reduce discomfort.

The shoe comes in many colors including hot pink or Tiffany Blue. It has an Active Foot Frame, which provides integrated stability and support. It helps to prevent falls for people like me.

Podiatrist Dr. Michael Nirenberg agrees Hokas can be worth trying, but what he thinks those with foot issues really should avoid are the trendier, loose-fitting shoes that lack laces, a firm heel counter and reasonable support for your foot’s arch.

“As we age and our feet age due to lifetime of wear and tear, walking and activities, issues can arise,” Dr. Nirenberg says. You may start to get arthritis in your feet and develop neuropathy. If you’re overweight, you may develop arthritis. There’s a whole host of things that can affect your feet.”

What Dr. Nirenberg recommends is footwear that is supportive and laces up snugly. He said the new style sneakers that you don’t have to lace up will be less likely to prevent a fall. He also says he eschews flip-flops because they don’t provide any real support around the foot and can contribute to someone falling.

Hokas are lightweight and run from $65 to $100. I got mine at Nordstrom Rack.

Adidas Sambas

With that in mind, Adidas Sambas have comfort and cool accents like three perfect white perfect lines on a black shoe and vice versa for a white shoe. Today’s Adidas Samba shoe was introduced in 1972 as a sport sneaker made for soccer. The brand started in 1950.

During the ‘50s, Sambas were designed with suction cups on the soles that helped with slipping in snow and dicey conditions. The shoes became known as Sambas. They are still all the rage on soccer fields because of their serious grip. They’re also big among the 20 somethings in the style community because they go with many different outfits. If you’re thinking of skateboarding, according to an article in CNN, Sambas are just the thing.

The Sambas are frequently on back order. They start at about $130.

On Cloud

After I broke my nose, I met my doctor who was wearing On Cloud sneakers. They were unusual because they had what looked like rubber circles on the bottom.

“They’re comfortable,” she volunteered. “lots of people on their feet all day swear by On Cloud sneakers.”

The On Cloud sneakers were designed by triathlete Olivier Bernhard, a six-time Ironman champion. Bernhard founded the company and based it in Switzerland. He worked with an engineer and developed a prototype because he wanted a comfortable sneaker.

It worked and it’s now said the On Cloud reduces muscle fatigue which improves speed.

According to a study by the company, the clouds press your foot both horizontally and vertically. They expand and grow to fit your feet. This is said to reduce injuries. On Cloud sneakers can be found at Macy’s and Dick’s stores.

“I love them so much I bought three pairs,” said hygienist Hannah Todhunter. “Don’t tell my husband. They’re just so comfortable.”

Like many shoes that provide comfort and purport to reduce falls, On Clouds start at about $90 and can go to $150 and above.

New Balance Fresh Foam X

Another running/walking shoe gaining in the running/walking game is the New Balance Women's Fresh Foam X. These have a very thick sole and seem very comfortable. They’re made by the New Balance company which is known for quality footwear and these huge-soled shoes are no exception. A new version of Fresh Foam X provides an incredibly soft, moveable sole. A knit upper provides a sock-like fit. This shoe oozes comfort and softness, making it a great easy run, walking and standing shoe as long as you have a stable gait. Fresh Foam X shoes range from about $60 and up.

These thick soles are great according to Dr. Nirenberg

“You never know what’s going to happen,” he says. “Some older people develop osteoporosis and get fractures, so they need the best shoes.”

The New Balance Fresh Foam X runs from $100 and up.

Nike Air Zoom Pegasus

Unlike many tennis shoes, the Pegasus features a rubber outer sole with a unique pattern designed to provide enhanced traction on lots of different surfaces. This stylish shoe also offers a nice looking fit with cool colors such as lime green for a sportier look.

With the Pegasus, it’s hard to tell they can be helpful for those of us of a certain age. They have all the comfort but look fashionable too. It’s a win-win. They can help runners who are developing foot and bone conditions such as osteoporosis.

Dr. Nirenberg said he’s often among the first doctors to see that osteoporosis is developing; others don’t notice and may get less structured sneakers.

“With osteoporosis, patients can take a fall and land up with a hip fracture,” he sayI have feet that always need a lot of attention and I’m always worried that I’ll fall because of them.

That happened a few months ago while visiting my son in Durham, NC. As usual, I was experiencing some balance issues and I thought I had them under control. When I walked, sometimes I couldn’t feel my feet, then sensations returned. I thought it might be neuropathy because of my Type 2 diabetes and hadn’t yet seen a podiatrist.

Arriving back at his house from a hockey game, I was proud of myself for going up and down long, skinny, treacherous stairs at the game with no injuries. In fact, I was happy until the moment I fell right on my nose going up the small, uneven stairs leading to his apartment.

“Crrrack,” I heard my nose break loudly. It was the fifth break of my large proboscis, so I knew it well. After surgery, it was time for a deep dive into the best and most healthy orthopedic tennis shoes. I didn’t want to be caught unawares again. It was hard to narrow down the proper athletic shoes that might help with falls. It’s a personal choice, but I’ve found these six to be recommended by experts.

Hoka One Athletic Shoes

First of all, there’s Hokas. In fact, I’m wearing them right now. The Hoka One athletic shoes are wider and are the “in” thing right now like electric bikes or pickleball dresses. Although some people swear by them for running and athletics, they have also gained popularity for those with gait issues.

Why are Hokas so great?

The Hoka foot pad looks round like a pancake and is said to have cushion and comfort. The thick midsole provides comfort, helping impact on joints and muscles during sporting activities. The extra cushioning can help reduce discomfort.

The shoe comes in many colors including hot pink or Tiffany Blue. It has special accoutrements which provide integrated stability and support. It helps to prevent falls for people like me.

Podiatrist Dr. Michael Nirenberg agrees Hokas can be worth trying, but what he thinks that those with foot issues really should avoid are the trendier tennis shoes you can slip in and out of without bending down.

“As we age and our feet age due to lifetime of wear and tear, walking and activities, issues can arise,” Dr. Nirenberg says. You may start to get arthritis in your feet and develop neuropathy, if you’re overweight, you may develop arthritis. There’s a whole host of things that can affect your feet.”

What Dr. Nirenberg recommends is footwear that is supportive. He said he doesn’t think the new style sneakers you don’t have to tighten and lace up will not prevent a fall. He also says he eschews flip-flops because they don’t provide real support around the foot.

“Shoes you don’t have to lace up can cause damage with not enough support,” he says. “You need a supportive, enclosed shoe with lots of room in the toe box.

Hokas are lightweight and run from $65 to $100. I got mine at Nordstrom Rack.

Adidas Sambas

With that in mind, Adidas Sambas have comfort and cool accents like three perfect white perfect lines on a black shoe and vice versa for a white shoe. Today’s Adidas Samba shoe was introduced in 1972 as a sport sneaker made for soccer. The brand started in 1950.

During the ‘50s, Sambas were designed with suction cups on the soles that helped with slipping in snow and dicey conditions. The shoes became known as Sambas. They are still all the rage on soccer fields because of their serious grip. They’re also big among the 20 somethings in the style community because they go with many different outfits. If you’re thinking of skateboarding, according to an article in CNN, Sambas are just the thing.

Sambas are frequently on back order. They start at about $130.

On Cloud

After I broke my nose, I met my doctor who was wearing On Cloud sneakers. They were unusual because they had what looked like rubber circles on the bottom.

“They’re comfortable,” she volunteered. “lots of people on their feet all day swear by On Cloud sneakers.”

The On Cloud sneakers were designed by triathlete Olivier Bernhard, a six-time Ironman champion. Bernhard founded the company and based it in Switzerland. He worked with an engineer and developed a prototype because he wanted a comfortable sneaker.

It worked and some claim the On Cloud reduces muscle fatigue which improves speed.

According to a study by the company, the clouds press your foot both horizontally and vertically. They expand and grow to fit your feet. This is said to reduce injuries. On Cloud sneakers can be found at Macy’s and Dick’s stores.

“I love them so much I bought three pairs,” said hygienist Hannah Todhunter. “Don’t tell my husband. They’re just so comfortable.”

Like many shoes that provide comfort and purport to reduce falls, On Clouds start at about $90 and can go to $150 and above.

New Balance Fresh Foam X

Another running/walking shoe gaining in the running/walking game is the New Balance Women's Fresh Foam X. These have a very thick sole and seem very comfortable. They’re made by the New Balance company which is known for quality footwear and these huge-soled shoes are no exception. A new version of Fresh Foam X provides an incredibly soft, moveable sole. A knit upper provides a sock-like fit. This shoe oozes comfort and softness, making it a great easy run, walking and standing shoe as long as you have a stable gait. Fresh Foam X shoes range from about $60 and up.

These thick soles are great, according to Dr. Nirenberg

“You never know what’s going to happen,” he says. “Some women develop osteoporosis and get fractures, so they need the best shoes.”

The New Balance Fresh Foam X runs from $100 and up.

Nike Air Zoom Pegasus

Unlike many tennis shoes, the Pegasus features a rubber outer sole with a unique pattern designed to provide enhanced traction on lots of different surfaces. This stylish shoe also offers a nice looking fit with cool colors such as lime green for a sportier look.

With the Pegasus, it’s hard to tell they can be helpful for those of us of a certain age. They have all the comfort but look fashionable too. It’s a win-win. They can help runners who are developing foot and bone conditions such as osteoporosis.

Dr. Nirenberg said he’s the first one to see that osteoporosis is developing; others don’t notice and may get less structured sneakers.

“With osteoporosis, patients can take a fall and land up with a hip fracture which is very hard,” he says.

That’s why a thick sole like those of the Pegasus shoe is important. The shoe retails for around $220 but can be found at much lower prices.

Brooks Glycerin 20

Brooks Glycerin tennis shoes provide an adaptive midsole for better cushioning and a 3D Fit Print upper for a deluxe fit.

Having a shoe that’s tailored just for you is a favorite of men and women. My own father who was an avid runner, was a long-time devotee of the Brooks running show. Best of all, there’s a good amount of cushioning and comfort with Brooks sneakers. The entire line is perfect for people that have larger frames or are serious walkers/runners.

Because of the addition of an innovative nitrogen-infusion process, reviews say there’s a softness that makes people feel they are walking on air. All in all, the Brooks Glycerin line of Brooks shoes are said to be extremely soft and comfortable but packing a punch from the first step.

They are priced on Amazon from $88 to $125 and above.

Old age tales are rarely true, and I see them all the time. In fact, you might say they are as normalized as the Paul Bunyon story. I may be the only one who didn’t think about retirement in my 20s, but I bet I’m not:

Here’s one: “I’m 63 years old, have $800K in savings and I was all set to retire in four months — but now I’ve just got a fantastic new job offer. Should I take it or stick to my plan?”

Answer: Shut up. Not only do you have some money, but people are also clamoring to hire you? Ugh! Next, you’re going to say you miraculously have no wrinkles on your derriere. Or, your husband’s sex drive is over the top and he NEVER looks at porn because you’re so hot.

You know you don’t have to ask if you can live on $800,000 or $2 million like I so often see.

“I have $25 million. Do you think I can live on it for five more years until I probably die?” Sure, nutcase. You can live on that.

How about the truth? I saved $300,000 and now it’s dwindling because I can hardly remember my name and my old engineer husband, is unemployed and has been tapped out of the system. Sure, we lived it up until about 55 years old, then it was hellish if not hell.

In my current old age, I wonder where the previous woman was in her 20s. Was she dazzling in a $1 million job with no husband while she listened to the latest song from Tears for Fears? Did she date pre-Bill Gates and he left her a bunch of money because she might need it when she turned 63?

We spent most of our money when we were young or needed to pay for high-end schools for a sophisticated kid who will certainly be embarrassed if we become homeless in front of his tony apartment building. My husband drives a small, colorful auto parts car a few times a week and we pray the sale of our kind of nice home will be enough to get us by until our suicide pact kicks in.

According to a recent Northwestern Mutual survey posted by MSN, Americans think it takes $1.46 million to retire securely. But the savings data above reveals that most people don’t have anywhere close to $1.46 million by the time they reach retirement age. The reality is that the amount of savings it takes to retire comfortably depends on your needs and age.

Sure, my needs include a Fiat Spider sportscar, but that’s like $30,000, a mere pittance in the retirement game.

Lots of people say they love it and can attest that sticking their hands in the dirt makes them feel somehow grounded (pun intended). So, I went to a local greenhouse and bought some tomatoes called Early Girls. They seemed to be bigger and would bloom earlier.

In fact, they were a huge hit. They grew light green, then deep red and shiny on my back porch in about two months and before I knew it, I was handing out my juicy friends as gifts in attractive baskets I found in a thrift store. I would have put a bow on the basket, but Meghan Markle stole my thunder with her new Netflix show, “With Love, Meghan.” Markle put a bow on a jar of pretzels.

“They’re from my garden,” I would say at a party in a sustainable farmer-like manner.

Then, of course, everyone started saying, “I grow tomatoes, too.”

“Boo.”

They all stole my thunder. So, when I got an invite to cover the Epcot International Flower and Garden Festival for 2025, I went to find new audiences to show off my tomato growing expertise and to find the secrets of their fabulous topiaries and mind-blowing flower arrangements. The festival goes until June 2 at Epcot International Flower and Garden Festival in Epcot. As usual, Disney World doesn’t disappoint, ever. There were more than 200,000 plants, birds, butterflies and enough beauty to overfill Epcot

.I was looking for something to perk me up from the doldrums of Chicago’s winters (I’ve taken to never leaving my house and only changing clothes on a need-to-know basis) and I found it, a change in my attitude and a reason to live. At the Flower and Garden Festival, there are Master gardeners galore and even doctors who are tagging actual butterflies and finding out which colors they like: spoiler alert, red.

According to Disney professionals, gardening focuses on creating peaceful sanctuaries for mental wellness. Landscaping experts also encourage spaces where you can meditate, read, or simply unwind. Imagine your own garden as a retreat to slow down and engage with nature. This deepens your outdoors connection and promotes mindfulness.

Ground covers, like those covering in and around the topiaries, are an essential element in any well-designed garden. Not only do they add lush greenery and vibrant color, but they also serve practical purposes like suppressing weeds, conserving soil moisture, and preventing erosion. Whether you're looking to fill in a shady spot, add texture to a sunny slope, or simply reduce the amount of lawn you need to mow, ground covers are a versatile and beautiful solution. At Disney, the ground covers can even be used to eat. They made a moss-covered chocolate cupcake which made my day. There were topiaries made to look like Woody, Bo Peep, Phineas and Ferb, Mickey and Minnie and many more. There were floating gardens and even fresh smells from Scentsy to compliment the gardens.

Representing Japan, there is a Kokedama Garden, Shi-odoshi and even a Bonsai collection which I really wanted to learn how to handle. In England, there was a Shakespeare Garden and even an English Tea Garden presented by Twinings® Tea company. Food came from everywhere including a Farmer’s Fest with grilled asparagus, scallops and blueberry crumble pie, among the tamer food offerings.

One of the most notable scientists, Dr. Jaret Daniels, met us in the Butterfly exhibit. He says everyone at Disney is most knowledgeable in their fields.

“You’ve never seen so many nerds in your life,” Daniels says.

He is also a curator at the Florida Museum of Natural History’s McGuire Center for Lepidoptera & Biodiversity, the largest global research center for the study of butterflies and moths.

So, he knows his nerds.

“I want to make sure you have this memory of your mom,” she said. “Hopefully, you can make a tattoo out of it.”

Tattoo? We are sadly not tattoo kind of women. We were afraid with our extra layers of fat, the heartbeat might look like it's flatlining.

We took the small printed heartbeat to James & Sons Jewelers in Indiana, and had it made into a necklace which is depicted by my niece above. It's both modern and classic.

According to jewelers at James & Sons, people have lots of ways to memorialize a loved one. They make name and date bracelets, clocks, rings and more. They plant trees, preserve videos, and save voicemails in an effort to preserve their loved ones.

"Feel free to use the idea," I say.

Whenever I put my heartbeat necklace on, I do feel a little closer to my mother. I even talk to her out loud when I'm wearing the necklace. Memorial jewelry can be done in plated or actual gold and starts at about $60. To me, it's been a poignant reminder and a major comfort in the death of my mother.

I reached out to Tiffany & Co. (yes, THE Tiffany's) to find out the baby blue iconic, upscale jewelers' take on remembrances of loved ones.

"One person told me she mimicked the handwriting of her best friend who had passed away," one employee told me. "She decided to put her friend's words on a bracelet that would remind her of their close relationship at any time. The unique handwriting on the bracelet was a comfort to her."

"People also include pictures of their loved ones on bracelets, rings, necklaces and just about anything," she said. The way they do it is to engrave loved ones' faces, or an image that best describes the loved one.

"The best way to describe Tiffany & Co. is that it's a company that has something special for everyone,"says the Tiffany employee.

Indeed, Tiffany & Co. began selling jewelry in 1837 and remains at the forefront of innovative jewelry. It's been numero uno in the hearts of people everywhere since it began with its own (my favorite color, Robins egg, baby blue) unique color scheme, and even a movie, "Breakfast At Tiffany's" centered around it. According to its website, “Tiffany has been defined as the arbiter of good taste.

For some the idea of shopping at Tiffany's, or even having breakfast there (giggle), can be a pricey idea.

That tact of excellence in fine goods has worked. Because it's been in the news so often and is so coveted, many people love the brand.

Agreed, the Tiffany employee reiterated.

"Our price point is due to our craftsmanship," she said. "We do pride ourselves in the material we use and the sources where we're receiving them."

For my son, as I get on to my later years, you don't even have to get the Tiffany jewelry for me. Just get the lovely blue box and I'll be happy (mother’s guilt).

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that the Tiffany blue makes me happy. We all love it. In the movie, "Breakfast at Tiffany's," Audrey Hepburn likes to say, "happy girls are prettier."

If you've got a great idea for a memorial to a loved one, I'd like to hear about it. Please respond to this post or email me at janepospybokun@gmail.com.

Yesterday, I got a call from a good friend asking if I wanted to cover the recent Donald J. Trump talk with Bloomberg News for her beautiful magazine called “Felix. The show’s at the Fairmont Hotel, just around the corner from a hotel I booked for the night called the Chicago Millenium. After I looked at the comments on the hotel’s website, I noticed someone said there was blood on the sheets, nice, and it took me back. 

I’m here because I said yes to the dress, yes to covering Trump. Yes, to everything. I felt like a young cub reporter, and I realized how much I missed that feeling, all problems, and nerves and then no problems booze wouldn't cure. 

Press had to meet at the hotel at 5:30 a.m. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten up that early. I trained my newborn to get up at 9 a.m. This might be a problem. 

“You’re always late,” my sister and nephew said. “Get there early.” 

I split the difference and arrived at 4 a.m. where I expected heavy Secret Service pat downs. But nothing.  I sat there until 5:30 a.m. and then meandered to a ballroom where they Secret Service) told me to put my camera down and leave it until 9:30 a.m. I then went back to my questionably sheeted hotel and went back to sleep. After that, it was time to see Trump and Bloomberg Editor-in-chief John Micklethwait. 

The reason we all convened was because Trump was addressing the Economic Club of Chicago ahead of the Nov. 5 election. The former president, and current GOP nominee, was interviewed by Micklethwait, whose name appears to be a mouthful. 

The press section, about 100 reporters, were seated behind members of the Economic Club who had drinks and breakfast. The press had coffee and seemed to be thoroughly pissed off. Maybe if we had croissants? Trump also was late, hours late. 

“Is this normal?” I asked a fellow old man reporter.” He doesn’t care,” the man said. 

Once he was on the podium, it was hard to stay mad at him. In my view, he was genuinely funny and I’m a sucker for laughter since I’ve had so few giggles since age 60. He started by talking tariffs and said he loves them for China. 

Micklethwaite in a heavy British accent (love that for United States elections) countered Trump on every idea. 

“You’ve been wrong your whole life,” Trump said to Micklethwait. Kinda made me think Trump has zero fucks left. 

“What sounds easy and fun?” I thought.

I started with being a substitute teacher in a public school. What did I find? I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but substitute teaching is truly awful. I would say, the awfullest, but that's putting it mildly.

Here’s how it went: Once I got to class, I started talking and children started talking over me and schooling me as to how this day was going to go. They weren’t going to listen and I’d better go along. After that, I tried to get them to sit down, but no-go. I had always been taught to believe this was a cushy babysitting job for the elderly who had spent all their younger money. It would be perfect for the almost-dead.

The children talked throughout the teaching, and I said nothing. They danced, jumped on each other and even air dropped movies and games on the wall. What did I say? Nothing. It was like watching a car accident, I really didn't want to get involved as a temporary substitute. That went okay for a month and then they decided to make me a full-time substitute teacher when a real teacher had foot surgery. It was clear she didn't want to come back and I really didn't blame her. The classes were either too large or small and the teacher was remiss with lesson plans. She was on pain killers, she explained.

One of the things I was looking forward to was teaching journalism. I spent about 25 years in the field and I never thought it was a job. It was my chosen career and I thanked God every day for it.

However, when I went to teach journalism, I found the children had been teaching themselves and they didn't really want to have a record of it. They tweeted sports news every once in a while, in case anyone was listening. But they had no actual newspaper on their school site. They stood on desks and bounced on balls and screamed, but they had no real news and most importantly, no deadlines. They also didn’t know how to teach themselves, surprisingly.

I wanted to teach them what a great career journalism could be if done right.

One deranged student told me to sit down and stay out of the way while they taught themselves. She had been teaching a class on the benefits of ball bouncing. Collectively, all her journalism students told me to sit down and shut up. Some people and some environments are unteachable, I thought. I kept trying although they seemed to need medication. I got it. They had been given too much freedom with no real direction. That is the problem with most things, but I would say public schools most of all.

I kept trying to tell them what makes a real story. The girl who told me to shut up then started crying and told the whole class to follow her to the principle to tell him what they thought of me. And then, they all marched off in union and NO ONE stopped them.

Other teachers, instead of talking to me, talked to the students who said I was terrible. They ran to the principle to tell him I was terrible. He was suffering from an illness and didn’t talk to me about what was going on. He already had all the information he needed from the students, who he always sided with against teachers.

One day I was called into the office for an incident in my class. At the time, I thought it was a joke. Some kids were playing their own music when other kids told them they didn't like their music. They wanted to hear K-pop. I, of course, didn't say much. When does the babysitting kick in? I asked myself. I had already driven to the teacher's house some miles away to take her and her son to the dentist.

When I got back to the classroom, an almost college sports star asked me, "is Miami a city?"

"I quit," I said.

People pointed it out so much I went to a doctor thinking it was a tumor.

"What do you think it is?" I asked my doctor.

"Fat?" I said.

"Fat," he said.

The truth was I knew it was unsightly. I had taken to wearing designer kitten heel boots even when the weather was hot. Besides the fat tumor, my legs looked like a purple map of the universe. But there was another thing, they were in pain. There was pain in my legs every day and when that wasn't happening, my legs and feet were itching.

My most fervent wish was to get my varicose veins done and I heard it was covered by insurance. I quickly signed up at one of the vein clinics and got ready for the treatments.

They included a sonogram of both legs which had varicose (thick, bluish, itchy) veins. After the sonogram, I met with the doctor and his technician to do a vein ablation. It consisted of targeting a large vein to shrink with a heated laser. Afterwards, a few bandages and a 30-minute walk around the office were all I needed. Before the heat laser procedure, there was an anesthetic put on my leg for any pain. I have to say it wasn't very painful. Each leg was done on separate days.

Now my legs no longer itch, and I've been able to ditch the designer boots in summer. As with all things, I wonder why I didn't do vein ablation earlier. It is covered by many insurance plans as was mine.

The truth is there are plenty of things us oldsters can fix about our outsides, but we think it would be vain, or we shouldn't. But we should. I'm a fan of all things that make people 60 and over feel better about themselves. For example, Martha Stewart's fabulous face refresh had her posing for magazine covers - in her nice underwear. (By the way, she is my hero in all things, a true badass among us Polish women - even the ones who haven't gone to prison - yet).

It's hard enough to get lost in the shuffle of youth and have everyone wishing you would just go away. When I walk away, I'll have tried everything I can and maybe learn a few lessons along the way which I’ll share, of course.

“It was truly awesome,” I said.

The first time I saw it, I was shocked. I came from what was essentially a steel mill town that was often dirty and smelling of the billowing smoke from factories. That wasn’t all. There also were people who lived there that never saw the Grand Canyon and never wanted to see it. My side of town suffered from a lack of intellectual curiosity or curiosity per se.

My son, on the other hand, was not that excited. He didn’t grow up in what was essentially a low-key ghetto, and it wasn’t as awesome to him. He grew up in Tampa with its beautiful beaches and stunning atmosphere.

But me, I had never seen anything so big and colorful and awe-inspiring. The gargantuan mountains of sand that had been honed through time and water for years was amazing. It was near my alma mater, Northern Arizona University, and so I often did a little hiking with a bottle of wine and a friend. We were fearless back in the days where there were no fences and buses around the canyon

“It’s a giant hole,” my son said nonchalantly.

“Yes,” I said, but what a hole. “Ok,” he said, and wanted to get back on the buses to see other parts of the hole. A curious thing had been happening. Everywhere my husband and I went people gave us their seats. Even when we were on a bus to get a rental car in Phoenix, people stood up and gave us their seats.

“Oh no, that’s okay,” I told one Hassidic Jewish man and a pretty girl.

“We’re young,” he said politely. Did I mention both I and my husband can walk?

“Oh my God, I really think I’ve still got some life in me,” I thought.

When the bus came to take us to another part of the Grand Canyon, I didn’t get a seat fast enough and stood in the aisle while everyone begged me to take a seat.

“I’m not doing it,” I thought. “I’m a daredevil.”

After the bus stopped, my son chastised me.

“You’re old mom and you should always take a seat,” he said. The girls traveling next to us agreed.

“I may never sit again,” I thought to myself in elderly defiance.

Then, as I sat in the Phoenix Airport, a worker came up and asked if I wanted a wheelchair? What? Why?

“Take it,” my son said.