Just so you all know, if you give me money for my blathering, it goes directly into the account that supports my ‘task’; not a penny into my pocket-gurdjieff-oregon.net—enjoy—for now without a paywall-

Why this came up, I don’t really know but a series of (fortunate/unfortunate) events has led me to examine the three lines of Work—especially the second and third-In between where I believe the notion of ‘tasks’ reside.

Here is my task of the last eight years –gurdjieff-oregon.net. you can go thee—it is totally disorganized but I was advised by better archivists than I to just ‘get it up’ and maybe it will be some other person’s job to do after I am dead. For that IS my future. At my age, there is death all around me and I am struggling to live in the detritus.

So it came to me from a friend who was criticizing another’s ‘task’ that involves putting out a meditation every morning to share. And yet this individual also ‘puts out stuff’ about the Work that I find valuable. Another friend writes about Mesmer and Gurdjieff as a hypnotist; another spent time doing magic shows with an anti-bullying theme for schoolchildren—some make music for free-all is without recompense. In fact, as with my task with the file cabinets of George and Mary Cornelius, direct students of Gurdjief, it is a burden that continues to nag. It also has the flavor of a lack of choice, in the I like/want/feel good compared to the I don’t like/want/feel good about doing. It is -in fact-a pain in the ass. And in at least one case, it has alienated a person whom I thought was a friend due to her not wishing to hear about what the forbearer thought and said to their contemporaries—I am sure that there will be more as a few of us are still alive who remember how it was back then.

So what do I mean when I say this is between the second and third line of work? I feel I was handed this task to digitize and preserve when a person (no longer with us) said she was throwing it all out-and I have no idea if anyone will ever find any of it valuable. But it still IS in this world. As JGB said about what he termed the ‘Master Parable’, the Sower and the Seed’—we do this because we must and I pay for that must-ness-with time, with technological frustration, and with self-doubt as to its value—oh boy.

The second line of Work is work for others. I cannot say if anyone else will find it valuable but I am putting it out there—It is also the third line-work for the Work. And preserving something of a time and place that is no more-for those who follow the lines of time-I recently received an email from a gentleman in Australia, from whom I had purchased a book for a friend. He wrote me that he had been studying the Work with a friend in Canda, now deceased and had suffered a medical illness which-like my experience with the Emergency Room-made him feel that his collection of books needed dispersing, to save his family the task and to make certain that volumes reached the right hands. His email had the flavor of which I speak, as the other events—

Gurdjieff says that we need to stop “just going to school” and to do something “nobody else does”—that too, can imply a task-or a series of them. It also reminds me of the Biblical verse about (W)ork---from Ecclesiastes 9:10 “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your strength, for there is no work, planning, knowledge, or wisdom in the grave, where you are heading.”

Or this-Longfellow

Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,

Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,

Seeing, shall take heart again.

“

I have been “in the soup” lately; friends dying, family ‘losing the plot’—other friends making up stuff because ‘something is happened but they don’t know what it is’ (thanks St. Bobby)—and all the while I am experiencing my ‘Savior complex’ full on and big time. This pesky desire to be helpful and trying hard to remember myself and ask ‘what is my role?’ And frequently it is to just sit it out—

Sometimes that is apparent, as the horrific accident I witnessed going out early Saturday morning.: cars on their sides and tops, all airbags exploded-semi jack-knifed amongst all the cars and suitcases with folks’ possession strewn over 200 yards and 3 lanes of the freeway—so much for a vacation with the kids. All I could do is send good will-as the EMTS and police had already arrived moments before.

But what of the slow-moving train wrecks we make of our lives? The failure to tend to that funny mole or notice that we forget stuff that needs doing? (or, like me, eat the sorbet without noticing)? Many of my nearest and dearest have just presumed that they would go on-or just were too frightened to actually act because the scenarios or outcomes were too harsh or unimaginably sad. As a friend told me-“Every dervish wishes to surrender to God’s Will but when presented with it, they want anything but.”

Gurdjieff speaks of dying in three parts—when the Bobbin-kandelnosts (of which we have three) unravels-the intellect, the body and the feeling center—when perceived by the other centers, I believe it produces a fear reaction in the other two—the emotions get riled, and I (and others) rail against the fate-the unfairness-I am not finished here-etc. etc.—But when I had my queasy little overdose-the only thought of what would not get done is I died in the emergency room—I s that what we are left with? The tasks of everyday?

Or perhaps everyday kindnesses—Gurdjieff refers to himself as a ‘particle’ in many places-one of my favorites is the prayer at the beginning of chapter 26, ”To me, a trifling particle of the whole of the GREAT WHOLE, it was commanded from Above to be coated with the planetary body of a three-centered being of this planet and to assist all of such beings arising and existing upon it to free themselves from the consequences of the properties of that organ….”---So we are given the body to have a job- It’s not called the Work for nothing

And for my Christian friends (yes, I have more than one) this addresses it nicely. ““Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest”.

We die-This life is precious-get cracking.

With a forward by one of her sons, Kenneth Scott Adie and introduction by Professor Carole Cusack, Univ. of Sidney; an appreciation by Professor Constance Jones, an editor’s introduction and photographs.

I knew little about the Adies, George and Helen which is why I bought the book since I know some who have been her students. I also knew that they had been direct student s of both Ouspensky and Gurdjieff, and, according to Joseph Azize’s book on the exercises, had preserved practices which had been fading or lost elsewhere. What I found was a treasure, not so much in the recounting, but in the carefully organized verbatim exchanges. As a group facilitator, (I loathe the word, leader or teacher) I read carefully her responses to questions on various subjects.

The book is arranged by topics or subjects that are familiar to everyone who is a practitioner of this Work. Aim, the Morning Preparation, Self-Remembering, and greater Life Questions are all covered. There are thirty-one topics in all, covering a wide range of feelings and impressions that a younger or less experienced student may have and one which a facilitator may be called upon to address. Helen Adie has a caring but insistent adroitness in her responses—here is an example.

(page 120)

Betty: Mrs. Adie, I am very lost in negative emotions and at the time they occur, I believe in them, and because I believe in them, I can’t do anything about them, but I think I’m right.

Mrs. Adie: You can see something vaguely in your head, but it doesn’t change anything. And you’re convinced that you’re right, of course, as everybody is; but it doesn’t matter if you’re right or wrong. As you see it clearly, can’t you give it up?

Betty: well, this is it, moat of the time, I can’t

Mrs. Adie: Most of the time you can’t but occasionally you could. You’ll find it has an extraordinary effect on the other person, too. I makes me a narcissist, insisting on being right all the time, and completely useless as far as convincing anybody else is concerned: nobody is going to believe all that, whatever you say or don’t. So, it’s a complete waste of energy and its such a relief sometimes to be wrong. Give it up.

Helen Adie has done three (at least) things in this exchange. First, she has old the person what was aid, playing off Betty’s word, ”mostly.’ and turned it back so that Betty has stated she can sometimes (if infrequently) and pointed out that there is a possibility and opportunity here.

Secondly, Mrs. Addie has brought in the notion that this Work is for others, by emphasizing how one’s inner state affected those around us. A recent question and answer session with James Opie (whose new book is also just out) , said quite similar things, when asked about what he had seen as the ‘afterwards’ in the Strivings, that he had been in a conversation with an angry individual and by modulating his voice and keeping his own inner state neutral, the other person became much less and less angry and could begin to see his own emotional negativity.

Here , too, the teaching is extended in a simple exchange but perhaps the simplest and yet telling of her words was to address sacrifice. Her response of ‘Give it up” reflected something my mentor, Mary Cornelius always said-which was to ‘Offer it up”. I stole that response to a past group member once, when he complained about his persistent negativity; he responded with “What would I make an offering of the worst part of myself?” and my reply (my own) was ‘It’s the part to which you are most attached.”

So I am recommending this book to all, those who study the history of the Work, those who may find it supportive in their own inner Work, but especially to those whose fate is to be sitting in front of people, in what I term ‘the catbird seat.’—This is text book stuff, in how to not just set conditions but to use, as Professor Connie Jones points out it shows “how interpersonal exchange can support and prompt self-inquiry” Nuggets are throughout the book.

A great contribution to the art of group mentorship on the part of the Gurdjieff Society of Newport (Australia). Kudos.

Here is a photo from about 20 years ago

Three amigas went on a hike in the woods and found a large cast iron skidder wheel hub about a mile up a logging road and rolled it out—(the lip is just visible)—A truck was driven to town for a ½ yard of good compost and it was placed into a garden, filled to the brim and a Souvenir De La Malmaison rose was planted to commemorate the day—now two are dead—how can this be?

On the death of my mother-in-law, a poet wrote this ”Acceptance of death-way down in our hearts is what we bring to now so that life can go on” (Jim Dodge-author of the amazing ‘Fup the Duck”). And yet there is this -from Edna St Vincent Millay

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave

Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;

Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.

I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

My recent past experience with genuine uncertainty led me to go see what others are doing about this problem of mortality—As one son asked—‘isn’t there an app for that?”—but seriously—here in this Work we are told that the ONLY thing that will change humanity is the awareness of one’s own death and the death of all those upon whom our eyes rest—

So I went to rest my eyes—and it seems some have the attitude that they will live forever—some refused to make any accommodations—some have forgotten that there is a thing called death---it is a crap shoot—

Today I am cooking & freezing meals for a husband who was not prepared for his wife to leave first, (another close friend) and is not okay with it. But I must be okay—what else is there?—meat loaf & mashed potatoes/ sausages & sauerkraut, chicken taquitos)

Sometimes stories are the best reminder-My dear ex-brother-in-law (now brother outlaw)-put up his favorite film during my visit in the Bay area—“Lucky” starring the inimitable Harry Dean Stanton, playing a man facing his own death and it was release just after Harry Dean’s death (2017)

Instructive—Remember—ye know not the hour--

This is a story that began in my massive inattention and stupidity. I have done estate sales for the last 15 years and recently retired. The business was taken over by a long-time favorite employee. It was always the policy that the fridge contents, if fresh, weren’t wanted by the family, since we can’t legally sell it, would be given away to employees. I was consulting on some art so I was offered some frozen foods -I took some ham and a small tub of raspberry sorbet—

After dinner that evening (Sunday last week) I had dinner and got out the sorbet. It was delicious. After about 20-30 minutes, however, I began to feel decidedly queer.. I thought I had eaten something that was bad but it was sight distortion, numbness and extreme dry mouth-not food poisoning symptoms-I picked up the sorbet tub and espied a small green leaf on the side; not seen before.

Washington State is a place where cannabis is legal. This apparently was an ‘edible’—that is-a food substance laced with THC—looking at the side I could make out that there were 10 --10mcg doses—I had eaten the whole tub—oops—so by now the room was pitching as was the floor—and I was thinking slowly—a couple of careful phone calls—no answer—so I called 911-and eventually was taken (by Uber) to the local ER—where they rushed me (being elderly) into a room—and while the whole medical brouhaha was happening—the leads for the heart monitor (it was racing) the vein prick & lead to administer anti-nausea meds-I was sick as a dog by then-the blood pressure (over the top)—I had a moment—one of those moments of utter clarity.

No panic-no fear-just a feeling of absolute presence—an insight that I knew not how this would all turn out—and my only thoughts were ‘who will do the tasks I had planned?” Will the crows get their cat kibble (Maybe)—will the squirrels get their nuts? The car needs an oil change—and perhaps I will not be around to get it done---this could all be over in a single heartbeat (which was going pretty fast with the effects of the toxicity)

And so it goes—this is really, really how it is—for all of us at all times—We die—and we know not when or where—and what will be left undone is just that- -left undone—and the world will go and in two hundred years more or less, no one will know we even existed-----As Gurdjieff says-we go into the ground and we don’t come out again—or mor specifically “Neither will he speak not teach again”—There is an end—and a time to Work and bring the Work into the world—our job—More on death later.

What is my role in this moment?

So having taken the time to ponder my reaction/response to the damaged human in my path-walking to the light rail—I wrote to my dervish friend with whom I had been having lunch with my impressions—here is his response in its entirety

“Thanks for sending. Very relatable!

There is always a great deal of suffering surrounding us (and within us). What to do? I remember one time my primary teacher was asked this question. He gave a very simple clear answer that I hope I can elucidate: stop for a moment, clear yourself so you have direct access to your higher self, and the answer will come what to do in the moment - the bottom line being: do I help here or continue along? I have found this practice incredibly useful and employ it regularly. With practice it becomes automatic and clear and alleviates second guessing and that space you occupied in your narrative. Quick, simple, direct, clean and clear. Sometimes the answer is help (usually money or can I buy you food or water or can you use this blanket I carry in my car?) and often it is to carry on. As you know, there is often a level or two or three that is opaque to us mere mortals: sometimes the process of the other person is to suffer and NOT have food, water, shelter, help, because they are living their allotment, unfolding, karma, etc.

Thanks again for sharing. Love you!”

Gurdjieff said that we play a role, consciously or unconsciously-—and here is an exercise in stopping (really stopping, observing, considering and deeming-all can happen- if one is in sensation- in a brief moment) and considering what that role is—

Heere is another example which is playing out in my life now—One of my closest friends has recently died—We met back in 1985 in Cave Junction during the George and Mary Cornelius’ days in Oregon—I had an older son & a newborn-she had a newborn plus two older ones—and women with children seem to bond –and over the years, we went through another baby for her—both of our divorces, the deaths of our mothers, a bad boyfriend on her part—and lots of projects—working on the lives that we made for ourselves s, our children and our mothers-and camping—always camping with boys—take them to the woods, the desert and the ocean and let them find themselves—and with her cancer-I went back and forth from Seattle to talk about our parallel lives and insights into this Work and how to die---One of the last things she said to me was ‘”my biggest regret is that I will not be around to do this for you.” And so it goes—

My role in this case was to be present—not just for her but because it was given to me to watch the process of dying consciously as a gift. Sarah’s gift to me-

Now it is happening with another close friend of decades-also a woman with whom I shared child-raising and talk about how to be--—but entirely differently. This friend who will not be named—for she is very private-- is also of this Work—a former student at Claymont—and has allowed herself, obviously ill—to do nothing about it—One of her last comments to be was ‘I am not going to fight for my life”-and has now eschewed contact----as is her choice—and so whatever I wish (egotistically) was my role—will be instead one of ‘be present to what is”-as my friend Robert Fripp says “Beware the helpful person”) and I add (especially in oneself)—

I may wish my role was to sit with her and talk and laugh about our 45 year friendship but I think she is also looking back herself—recently she texted me some pictures that we had drawn of ourselves in an exercise with a Jungian practitioner 43+ years ago—(an indication of who she is—one who kept artifacts from the past, for her friends, her children, her grandchildren) ---in these drawings the men drew themselves—she & I however, drew our roles—She drew herself running through her tasks and I drew myself holding my toddler and an animal—both hands completely full and frowning tiredly—We drew our roles—as women—and she reminded me of this as friends.

And here we are

“

Perhaps broken, perhaps with a contained inflection and he was whimpering. I too walked past—as did many others but felt dreadful all the way to the light rail and all the way home—could I have intervened? Called 911? Asked if he wanted help? I felt I had missed a patent opportunity to show compassion for someone unlike me-someone who wasn’t safe or well-fed or who had others who cared. And today, two days hence. I still wonder what I should have done-merely hold good wishes? Do something physical?

It brough back a memory of about 5 years ago when I was walking my dog and-about a half mile from home it began to pour cold spitting rain. I was hurrying home and about 4 blocks from dryness there was a man lying on the sidewalk covered with a blue tarp, sobbing in the downpour. He had no shoes and was lying in a fetal position—I then also said nothing but did rush home (about 15 minutes walk) and grab an old raincoat and hat but when I returned he was gone.

So the question goes round and round and I cannot find anywhere that it is not an egoistic inner considering of myself. What should I have done? Feel compassion? I did in both cases. But I failed to act--also with excuses (I was late/ the dog needed to get home/I’’m busy and on my way somewhere)—and yet it still bothers me. Send good will and wishes? Bah—that is a cop-out of feeling holy while ignoring the suffering of that which is before me. I thought if it were a dog, I would certainly act.

So what is out ‘job’ here to bring light and conscience into this ‘suffering’ world—And if I am presented with such a huge opportunity in the future—can I act without ‘considering’?