In its simplest state, we want to be like a rubber band: full of potential, but able to stretch and apply pressure when needed to get a job done. Think of a rubber band holding together a stack of index cards or a jumble of power cords. That’s what we need when we are being stretched: the ability to flexibly adjust to the task at hand. And when the demands are less, well, demanding, resilience allows us to recover and return to a steady state.

I recently delivered a workshop on resilience for a group of leaders, ranging in age from their 40s to their 80s, at the University of Limerick in Ireland. As each person entered, I handed them a rubber band to fidget with while I spoke to reinforce this analogy.

Like me, all of the audience members had performed in their youth in Up With People, an international traveling group of 18- to 25-year-olds. We were all “grass roots ambassadors” for the year we traveled, bringing a message of peace and harmony through host families, community service, and our signature two-hour upbeat performance. Although Up With People remains the only group to have performed four Super Bowl Halftime shows, it now no longer has any casts out on the road. There is a robust alumni organization whose annual gathering was the reason for my talk.

More importantly, like me, each of us had faced (or is currently facing) some kind of adversity that demands resilience. In the rooms of recovery, we call this facing “life on life’s terms.”

As with nearly every talk I deliver, my message returns to the concepts of effective communication. I offered a five-step process to build resilience, which requires a mix of internal and external communication, such as self-talk and other-talk.

1. Name the setback – We begin to be at cause, rather than victimhood, when we can clearly state what we are facing without either embellishment or euphemism. “I’ve been terminated” gives us more agency than “I’m leaving to spend more time exploring other pursuits.” Yet, naming what occurred directly also requires a level of honesty and vulnerability that can be difficult to muster.

2. Tell the story selectively – Next, we want to bring into our confidence a limited, but trusted, group of people with whom we can share fully. Some may be our best cheerleaders, but some should also be able to give us caring-yet-direct feedback, what Kim Scott has coined as Radical Candor.

3. Choose to pivot – After a season living in the setback, we need to choose to dwell in a place of greater agency. This may take days, weeks, or even years, depending on the setback. But there comes a time when we need to live differently. This is not forgetting the setback and moving on but choosing a different way of being with it.

4. Name the next future – Now we move back within and rewrite the next future. This creative process allows us to dream again about what work, relationship, or pursuit we wish to manifest. This step can be the most creative and enjoyable.

5. Share your story widely – Armed with this new future narrative, we can now share it with others more widely. In telling others that we are open to dating, or have launched a job search, or have taken up painting, we enroll others in supporting our dream. You never know from where your good might come.

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I gave the audience time to write their current and future narrative about their own setback. Then, they paired up and shared what they felt comfortable sharing with another participant. Some folks paired with a spouse or longtime friend; others sought out a stranger for this conversation. It was, without question, the highlight of the session, and could have gone on much longer. The intimacy built so quickly when people could voice, often for the first time, what they were facing and what they sought for their future. Some people continued the conversation during the lunch hour, and even later in the week that we were together.

While resilience is, in many ways, a state of mind, it’s also a practice.

I closed by sharing five of my personal practices to keep exercising the muscle of resilience until I need it:

• Write a Gratitude List – It’s a simple daily text I send to my friend Molly captures up to ten things from the day before for which I’m grateful.

• Set an intention – I start my day by declaring what I intend to BE and hope to EXPERIENCE as the day unfolds.

• Reflect nightly – Each night I capture in my phone an example of gratitude, resentment, fears, and amends that I may owe another.

• Create an annual Vision Board – I shared our family’s annual practice of capturing images of what we aspire to achieve in the year ahead.

• Remind often – The final practice is to find easy ways to remind myself of the previous four practices. This could be as simple as wearing a rubber band like a bracelet, making my vision board my screensaver, or having a partner with whom I share my intentions each morning.

The night before the workshop, my husband Ken pointed out that this approach had a strong connection to Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s work in The Book of Forgiving. He was right! I had subconsciously channeled Tutu’s approach to forgiveness into my thinking about resilience, and I gave him credit during the talk.

Talk of the Week

I loved this behind-the-scenes account from Neal Katyal of preparing for the biggest argument of his career. His four teachers offered very different lessons about reframing fear, preparing relentlessly, listening, and finding stillness when the pressure is on. This TED Talk is a powerful reminder that resilience, confidence, and connection can be practiced before we need them.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing & Viewing

• Reading: 52-year-old Colette Jane Fehr became a first-time author, sharing how persistence, discomfort, and a willingness to keep learning helped turn a long-held idea into a six-figure book deal.

• Hearing: In this episode of Speaking of Psychology, George Bonanno, PhD explores why some people emerge from adversity without lasting trauma and how cognitive flexibility can help us build resilience.

• Viewing: Carlie Ostrom’s moving story of traumatic brain injury offers a fresh perspective on hope, recovery, and what becomes possible when we refuse to let uncertainty define the future.

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My invitation this week is simple: begin your personal practice of resilience. Consider where owning your current narrative and crafting a next future might serve you. I’d love to hear how this mix of “self” and “other” talk works for you.

All the best,
jds

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We played together, taking a Duck Boat Tour in Boston, an Irish dance lesson in Limerick, an immersive light display at the Museum of Natural History, and a visit to the Color Factory in Lower Manhattan.

As memorable as those experiences were, some of our favorite moments weren’t planned at all. While we waited for our very first flight out of SFO, my son, Joshua, created his own game of catch using a squishy ball he brought and a hat he fashioned from a menu at the restaurant.

We later spent hours building and rebuilding a dam across a stream in Central Park. We became the center of attention as we saw how high we could stack a Jenga tower while waiting for a treat at our neighborhood ice cream parlor. These impromptu moments of pure play remain highlights for kids and dads alike.

Without the pressure of schedules, I love experiencing my family’s creativity flowing when we just immerse ourselves in the power of play. Those moments felt restorative, and they’re more than just good memories. Time spent playing is crucial for our ability to relax, recharge, and renew. Choosing play is a strategic action that accelerates our creativity and releases our inhibitions.

Whether we as leaders are stepping away from our screens or taking a pause from a stubborn writing challenge, pausing to play sometimes allows our unconscious minds to move creatively toward our challenges.

If you’re wondering what this has to do with becoming a better communicator... quite a lot, actually. Play forces us to be “in the moment,” which directly affects our ability to be present and connected to those we lead and serve.

A great next step is to invest 10 minutes of your time to complete your Play Styles Inventory. This free tool will let you see your unique play style. This allows you to then embrace creativity more fully in both your work and your life.

If you want to take the fun and strategy of play to a whole new level, come join my collaborator (and yes, new bestie), Kristine Michie, at Modern Elder Academy for The Power of Play: Unlock Your Story and Purpose for What’s Next. In the conversation below with MEA Founder Chip Conley, you’ll get a glimpse of our approach of bringing the power of play into the work of crafting and sharing your personal narrative. Catch the whole conversation with Chip, Kristine, and me on The Power of Play in Reinventing Your Life here.

Come Play with Us

Some of our cornerstone lessons include:

• How changing your brain chemistry creates conditions for creativity

• Why the best breakthroughs often happen while you’re doing something else

• How laughter quiets your inner critic and unlocks more authentic storytelling

Of course, we’d love to have you join us for the first of its kind experience in Santa Fe while seats remain. But whether or not you’re with us, take some time to play a little during your slower days in August, without agenda. Witness what the power of play can do for you and your ability to communicate with greater clarity and freedom.

Community Spotlight

Many LGBTQ+ leaders aren’t searching for a different voice... they’re looking for the confidence to use their own. That’s why I’m honored to be part of the free virtual Gay Men of Integrity Leadership Summit (August 10–14), where I’ll be sharing practical communication strategies for leading with greater clarity, confidence, and authenticity.

Talk of the Week

Roger Manix beautifully demonstrates the strengths of choosing to play in his TEDx Asbury Park talk, Play Your Way to Joy. Roger makes a compelling case that play is more than a way children learn. Play is how we strengthen creativity, deepen connection, and develop the emotional intelligence needed to navigate everyday uncertainty. If you’ve ever wondered why your best ideas seem to arrive when you’re not trying so hard, this talk is a wonderful place to start.

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A Substack Worth Following: National Institute for Play

If you missed last week’s newsletter, I’m beginning to spotlight my favorite Substack publications along the way. This week, I’m recommending the National Institute for Play. Their work explores how play shapes creativity, resilience, and human connection. Their recent article, The 5 Conditions Every Game You’ve Ever Loved Secretly Builds by Michie Leccese is a fitting companion to this week’s conversation.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing & Viewing

• Reading: This article by Magdalena Ponurska explores the neuroscience behind a simple 20-minute writing exercise that can unlock fresh ideas and help you approach stubborn challenges with a new perspective.

• Hearing: Engage with three play specialists, including Stuart Brown, in this Aspen on the Go podcast from the Aspen Ideas Festival.

• Viewing: Just need a laugh? Gary Gulman transforms the surprisingly mundane

  Story of State Abbreviations into a brilliant reminder that curiosity and humor go hand in hand.

We spend so much of our lives trying to be productive. This month, I hope you’ll also give yourself permission to be playful.

All the best,
jds

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I always urge the uninitiated to try it, in private, before walking into a major presentation, important interview, or first date. I recall vividly a time when I was pitching my services as a workshop leader and executive coach to a major real estate investment firm with offices across North America.

I was invited to pitch a partner in their San Francisco office. I arrived about 15 minutes early and was waiting in their plush lobby. Rather than spending time on my phone responding to emails and texts, I picked up the Wall Street Journal and opened it wide. I was not really paying attention to the headlines, but rather seeing this exercise as a Power Pose opportunity. When I was finally escorted in to meet the partner, I walked in with confidence. The meeting went better than I could have hoped, marking the beginning of a client relationship that continued for several years.

For nearly as long as I’ve taught Power Poses, I’ve also acknowledged that scientists disagree on whether Cuddy’s original research was rigorous enough to support its widespread use. Years ago, I read about the challenges to her research, but I never stopped teaching the technique. It simply works for me and for many of my clients and students.

This week, however, one of my colleagues (Graham Lau featured in Talk of the Week below) shared with me this lengthy LinkedIn post by Dr. Cuddy herself. Many readers won’t make it through the entire post, but I especially encourage the scientists who receive this newsletter to do so. Cuddy’s post offers a powerful narrative to academic research and the challenges faced by those whose work pushes against convention.

What’s important from a communication perspective is that “the psychological and emotional effects of Power Poses are real.”

Cuddy explains:

“Independent researchers — none affiliated with me — have used preregistered designs and larger samples to test the effects of expansive and contractive postures on psychological, emotional, and cognitive outcomes. They have found reliable effects on feelings of power, positive and negative affect, self-esteem, mood, emotional resilience, confidence, sense of control, self-efficacy, body satisfaction, creativity, and interoceptive accuracy.”

I’ll close my lesson with one final thought from Dr. Cuddy:

“When a simple, cost-free, two-minute intervention reliably shifts these outcomes — even modestly — that is worth understanding. It is worth studying. And it is worth telling people about.”

Whether it’s a placebo like Dumbo’s feather or subtle chemical changes at work, I’ll continue teaching Power Poses. It works for me, and I’m curious to hear if it works for you.

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Talk of the Week

Every summer for the past decade, I’ve had the privilege of teaching and coaching the remarkable participants in the Blue Marble Space Young Scientist Program. Their curiosity and commitment to making science accessible inspires me every year. One of my longtime collaborators is Graham Lau, whose passion for helping scientists communicate beyond their peers is second to none. His TEDxBoulder talk is a wonderful reminder that scientific discovery reaches its greatest impact when paired with compelling communication. Whether you’re fascinated by the cosmos or simply interested in becoming a better storyteller, I think you’ll enjoy this one.

A Substack Worth Following: Escape the Cubicle

One of the reasons I chose to publish on Substack is the incredible community of writers I’ve found here. From time to time, I’d like to share publications I think are worth following. This week, I’m recommending Escape the Cubicle by Wes Pearce. Wes offers practical encouragement for writers building confidence, finding their voice, and growing an audience. Given this week’s conversation about confidence and showing up with conviction, his work feels like a fitting companion.

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JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing & Viewing

• Reading: Michael Shehane offers practical advice for anyone preparing to be a podcast guest, with thoughtful strategies for replacing nerves with presence and clarity.

• Hearing: Hidden Brain’s You 2.0: Befriending Your Inner Voice is another thoughtful companion to this week’s newsletter, exploring how we can quiet our inner critic before stepping into high-stakes moments.

• Viewing: I’ve often shared Adam Grant’s research on reframing anxiety as excitement… this short video is an excellent explanation of why that subtle shift can change the way we perform.

This week’s Communication Matters publishes while I’m in Ireland for a week’s R & R. I look forward to sharing more with you when I return. I also look forward to your comments about today’s topic.

All the best,
jds

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That starts with your content. Keep it concise and tailor it to the opportunity, focusing on what makes you a distinctive candidate. Rather than opening with your name and a rehearsed introduction, begin with an idea or experience that immediately draws your audience in.

The way you deliver your message matters just as much. Looking into the camera, speaking conversationally, bringing energy to your presentation to help viewers feel as though they’re already sitting across the table from you. A few practice runs are worthwhile, but the objective is connection over perfection.

A polished video also benefits from attention to the technical details: your production. Clear audio, thoughtful lighting, and a simple setup allow your message—not distractions—to take center stage. As I share in today’s video lesson, my husband does that exceptionally well.

The strongest video introductions leave viewers with a clear understanding of who you are, what you bring, and why they’d like to continue the conversation.

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Turning Data Into Stories

Whether we are introducing ourselves, sharing our ideas, or presenting our data, the goal remains the same... help others see what matters. This Friday, July 10, I’m providing a free webinar through the NASDAQ Entrepreneurial Center. I will be sharing strategies for Storytelling with Data and exploring how we can turn complex information into compelling stories that inspire action and influence decisions.

Free Registration

When Your Story Needs to Evolve

The stories we tell ourselves shape how we show up in the world. But sometimes the story we have been carrying no longer reflects who we are or where we are headed.

In September, I’ll be returning to MEA to co-teach The Power of Play: Unlock Your Story & Purpose for What’s Next. Join me and play guru Kristine Michie for an opportunity to explore how creativity and play can help us discover new possibilities in the narratives we create. Early bird pricing is available through July 12.

Talk of the Week

This week's Talk of the Week also explores the power of connection through story. In What My Mother’s Alzheimer’s Taught Me About Laughter, Dani Klein Modisett reminds us that communication is not always about finding the perfect words. Sometimes, it is about creating moments of recognition, humanity, and connection... helping someone feel seen when they need it most.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: A thoughtful piece on why we need to retire the 100-Slide “Frankendeck,” and replace information overload with communication that tells a clear, compelling story.

• Hearing: I just finished the audiobook of Simone Stolzoff’s How to Not Know, and it’s a timely reminder that embracing uncertainty may be one of the most valuable leadership skills we can develop.

• Viewing: Last night Ken and I enjoyed the Netflix film Remarkably Bright Creatures starring Sally Field, Lewis Pullman, and Alfred Molina. Treat yourself to a compelling story with vivid imagery.

The way we communicate our stories shapes how others experience our ideas and get to know who we are. I hope these resources help you continue finding clearer and more compelling ways to share what matters.

All the best,
jds

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At our house, we also celebrate Fathers’ Day (note the proper placement of the apostrophe for families with two gay dads). In that tradition, my daughter Roma, on the cusp of her 11^th birthday, has taken over the video portion of today’s Communication Matters.

She introduced me to a show I never would have found on my own, and now she provides all of you a clear and compelling argument about why you need to check out the Japanese anime series Komi Can’t Communicate, found on Netflix. This provocative show is cinematically beautiful with engaging content about teens dealing with crippling social anxiety. Fortunately, the Japanese has been dubbed in English, which makes this an accessible experience here in the States.

The video of Roma you just watched was the recreation of a conversation we had when I asked her, “Why should others watch Komi?” She was so articulate and clear in her response that I thought she should deliver this week’s message, not me. She credits Ms. Yamamoto, her fifth-grade teacher, for a segment she recently delivered on how to craft a clear oral argument. She delivered all of this with only 3 notes in front of her: friends, struggles, and differences.

For a bite-sized taste of this provocative and powerful show check out the brief clip below. To get the real impact of the show’s blend of artistry and insight, I hope you will watch an entire episode, or more.

This week, I challenge you to embrace something unfamiliar and see what you can learn and how that lesson can help you expand your own communication mastery.

(A note from Roma: Hi everyone, I just want to say thank you all for letting me be in my dad’s newsletter. I’m so happy to be here. Thank you all, I want to say that one more time. It took us eight tries to do this and I’m so happy it's done. Love, Roma)

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Register for my last Spring Author Series: Training Zen by Truett Black

Tuesday, June 23 at 10 AM PT I will chat with my lifelong friend and former Kaplan Learning colleague Truett Black on his newly released book, Training Zen: How to Build and Sustain a Rewarding Career in Corporate Training and Facilitation.

What separates ordinary training sessions from true learning experiences that awaken awareness, expand thinking, and fuel professional growth long after the event ends? When you’re designing and leading a workshop, how do you make it a valuable experience for everyone involved? Join us for a conversation about the mindset, beliefs, skills, and practices that consistently bring outstanding results to training workshops.

Register Here

You can catch my conversation with Data Inspired author Sebastian Wernicke here. His book was released on June 2. My chat with Ken Daigle, author of Unapologetic Manifestation, can be found here.

Let’s Play Together in Santa Fe, September 10 to 13

Have you ever hit a plateau or transition and tried to think your way to the next chapter? It rarely works. But there is a way to access what you need to move forward: through play. Consider joining my colleague Kristine Michie and me as we present The Power of Play: Unblock Your Story and Purpose for What’s Next. Spend 3 days with us in Santa Fe, where we will playfully and powerfully help you unblock your narrative and open what might be next for you. We’ve been invited to serve as guest faculty for MEA, the world’s first midlife wisdom school. This offering is unlike anything they’ve presented before. Join us to explore, develop, and, most of all, play with intention.

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Talk of the Week

As summer begins and I continue to honor my kids this month, today's Talk of the Week comes from Play@TED. In this engaging talk, Harlem Globetrotter Maxwell Pearce reminds us of the value of play, creativity, and the occasional willingness to bend the rules in service of learning and growth.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: Just for fun, aren’t you glad you weren’t the customer service rep who mishandled the Pope’s change of address.

• Hearing: Ryan Holiday highlights the need for all of us, parents or not, to embrace self-care in “It’s Not Selfish. It’s Essential.”

• Viewing: I’m a new fan of The Best One Yet (TBOY) a high-energy daily “pop-biz” video podcast with 3 business news items to start each day with a smile.

However you celebrate the passage from spring to summer, I hope you have time to enjoy some good old-fashioned play in the process.

All the best,
jds

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Last week, I returned to Stanford’s Graduate School of Business to celebrate with Allison Kluger when she received the 2026 Distinguished Teacher Award. She and I co-created the Reputation Management course and, along with Burt Alper, co-taught Strategic Communication. Both these courses remain gems in the communication curriculum at the GSB. In her acceptance speech, she shared some career stories and advice, ending with this:

“Something that JD and Burt taught in Strategic Communication is Nancy Duarte’s Sparkline. And what it means is we all have a life trajectory, a rhythm of “what is, and what could be.” What is our reality? And what is something that you can keep reaching for to achieve your new bliss? There’s now a little voice in my head that tells me I’ve finally reached my new bliss.”

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Allison’s career milestone gave me time to reflect on how we discuss our careers, not just at moments of celebration but also at times of transition. This can happen when we are seeking a job or have lost one, when we are promoted, or passed over for a promotion.

I used to think Steve Martin’s advice, “Become so good they can’t ignore you,” was enough. I now see that while good work matters, being able to describe it in a clear and compelling way also matters. Let’s look at three ways we can all do this, whether or not we are job-hunting.

• Own and craft your narrative – This is not padding your resume (or LinkedIn profile) with accomplishments that you did not achieve. It’s having a clear story to tell when others ask about your career. This can be an origin story or a “present/past/future” elevator pitch. It should not sound canned, but it should be prepared and ready when needed.

• Create a failure resume, just as you do a success resume. As the name implies, this brainchild of Tina Seelig captures when you failed, what you learned, and what you have done with those insights. Dan Pink describes it beautifully in this short video clip.

• Update your external narrative to reflect your current internal work, even when not job hunting. Executive interview guru Frank Burgoyne makes this point powerfully in his blog post, “Maintaining Your Market Positioning Between Roles.” Too often, we are busy doing great work, but our LinkedIn profile or company bio is woefully outdated, thus the outside world remains uninformed.

As I drove I-280 home from Allison’s celebration last Thursday, I reflected on my own career. While I’d always hoped to retire from Stanford, circumstances beyond my control forced a more premature exit. (I talk more about this in my keynote at MIT from 2021). I could whine about the personalities and politics involved in my departure, but I discovered instead a new lens for my own career narrative.

Recall for a moment the scene in the classic film “It’s a Wonderful Life” where the shareholders at Bailey Brother’s Building and Loan want their money back because of the run on the bank across town. George Bailey, played by the incomparable Jimmy Stewart, powerfully reminds the customers that “You’re thinking of this place all wrong, as if I had the money back in a safe. The money’s not here; your money’s in Joe’s house, that’s right next to yours, and in the Kennedy house, and Mrs. Maklin’s house, and in a hundred others. You’re lending them the money to build, and then they’re going to pay you back as best they can.”

My career legacy lies not at Stanford, USC, NYU, Columbia, or even TMP-Marian High School, where I began as an educator in the 1980’s. It’s in the students I’ve taught who’ve gone on to make a difference around the planet, and in their own neighborhoods. It’s in the colleagues I’ve hired and mentored. Those I’ve worked with, provided references for, written forwards or blurbs for their books, coached their TED talks, and celebrated their awards, promotions, and retirements. That legacy is not all in one place, but spread throughout the country and around the world. From Taipei and Singapore to Cergnat Switzerland and Norrköping Sweden; it’s found at Tulane, Vanderbilt, Penn and even Emporia State, and in places I might not even know about yet.

This shift in my own narrative gives me greater ownership, allows me to see lessons in my own failures, and, (by publishing today’s newsletter), updates my external narrative to reflect my current impact.

What narrative can you author to talk about your own career, even when not searching for your next opportunity?

I’d love to hear how you apply this with your comment in the chat below, or simply send me an email.

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Another Conversation Worth Joining

I’m continuing my spring author tour next week Tuesday June 9 at 10 am Pacific with a conversation with a man I know well, my husband Rev. Ken Daigle. Loyal readers know about his book, Unapologetic Manifestation, released in January. What few people know, however, is that his 5-Step approach doesn’t just apply to personal manifestation, but can work for teams and even entire firms. Join us for a packed 30 minutes where we dive into this topic together.

Click here to register

I also have one more Author Mastery Conversation coming your way in June:

• Tuesday, June 23 (10 AM PT) with lifelong friend and former Kaplan Learning colleague Truett Black on his newly released book, Training Zen: How to Build and Sustain a Rewarding Career in Corporate Training and Facilitation.

You can catch my first conversation with Data Inspired author Sebastian Wernicke here. His book was released on June 2.

Talk of the Week

Enjoy this entertaining and inspiring talk from TED Next, where business journalist Simone Stolzoff offers great insights on how to Reclaim Your Life From Work. I love his simple closing advice to shift from asking people “What do you do?” to asking “What do you like to do?” I’m delighted to also acknowledge that Simone’s new book, How to Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty in a World That Demands Answers, was just released. I’m only at Chapter Six, but I love his gift of language, his rigorous research, his compelling narrative. More on this work in the months ahead.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: This moving tribute to MLK’s speechwriter, Clarence Jones, underscores the power of the words that we use to communicate. I was privileged to meet Dr. Jones at ComNet ‘25 in Denver. His legacy truly lives on.

• Hearing: Check out Crafting Your Career Story, where Matt Abrahams interviews Andrew Seaman from the Get Hired podcast.

• Viewing: A reader passed me Adriann Negrero’s TED Talk, “Don’t Be a Jerk to Your Barista,” which emphasizes powerful insights from those on the front line.

I’m enjoying our new approach to Comm Matters where we focus on a single theme, like career communication, throughout the entire post. Let me know what you think about it, and suggest themes that we should tackle in the months ahead.

All the best,

jds

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The tips I offer may be most salient for AI founders who are charting entirely new territory, but I think any readers who are seeking resources for groundbreaking ideas will benefit from understanding Maples and Ziebelman’s approach in Pattern Breakers: Why Some Start-ups Change the Future. Their work is echoed in this Forbes article, How to Pitch a Unicorn, Even in Uncertain Times, by Chris Lipp, author of The Start-Up Pitch.

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A Few Conversations Worth Joining

Next Thursday, May 28 at 10 AM PT, I’ll be hosting an Author Mastery Conversation with my friend and colleague, Sebastian Wernicke, who is a leading expert in data and AI strategy. We’ll discuss concepts from his upcoming book Data Inspired, exploring what it takes to communicate bold ideas in ways people can actually understand and are inspired to act upon. I hope you’ll join us for the conversation. A free LinkedIn account is required to attend this event.

Click Here to Learn More

I also have two more Author Mastery Conversations coming your way in June:

• Tuesday, June 9 (10 AM PT) with my partner in business and in life, Ken Daigle, discussing how the ideas behind Unapologetic Manifestation can translate into organizations and leadership.

• Tuesday, June 23 (10 AM PT) with lifelong friend and former Kaplan colleague Truett Black on his newly released book, Training Zen.

Talk of the Week

A few weeks back, I shared how meaningful the Asilomar for the Brain and Mind gathering was for me. I’m now delighted to share one of the keynote conversations I had the privilege of coaching.

In this powerful exchange, Jon Nelson and Amanda Geisinger bring the lived experience of recovery from depression to the forefront with remarkable honesty and humanity … a reminder that the most compelling communication often begins with the courage to tell the truth about our own experience.

Caveat: Their talk and lived experience address powerful topics around depression and suicide, but the hope they convey I find compelling and refreshing. Plus, their on-stage chemistry is electric. Enjoy!

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: Let me venture briefly into fiction to recommend a novel for a change. My mentor, Tom Ehrlich, has begun writing novels as his “next act” in life. I just put down his first, The Search: An Insider’s Novel about a University President. I can’t wait to read his next.

• Hearing: I’ve relied heavily on the innovative thinking of Mike Maples Jr. throughout this post, so it seems fitting to recommend his podcast, Pattern Breakers, for anyone seeking more on how transformative ideas can gain traction. He boasts a remarkable array of founders on his podcast.

• Viewing: Let me end with this poet I’ve only just discovered, Maxine Meixner who performs her brief yet compelling piece: I Hope You Make It.

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Whether this is your first time on my Substack or you are a loyal subscriber, thanks for stopping by today. Drop a comment below and let me know what resonated for you. I look forward to seeing how these concepts will help me better advise the founders I coach.

All the best,
jds

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Clearly, nobody could pedal my bike for me; that I had to do on my own. But being in a group of like-minded cyclists made the ride more enjoyable. Others led the group, or swept from behind to support stragglers, or tended to our injuries and sore muscles.

Beyond those we saw, countless others were invisible but played a key role: those who built and maintained the trails in China Camp State Park, those who mapped our routes, arranged permits, set up and tore down the event, or supported our efforts financially. Every individual involved played a key role in the joy of that ride on a pristine Saturday morning.

It’s much the same with mental health in our community.

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I was riding in the 5th Annual Bike & Hike for Buckelew, a community event supporting a nonprofit where I serve as board chair. It was my fifth year attending, but my first as a rider. I made a commitment at the start of the year to get back on a bike. Taking on this challenge was a clear illustration that the adage, “It’s just like riding a bike,” is not true. I sustained a few injuries while training, but I persevered and rode the 4-mile beginner’s loop with about a dozen fellow mountain bikers. Over 70 cyclists participated in all the routes along nearly 100 hikers.

As we pedaled the hills at China Camp, I realized cycling was a metaphor for mental health and recovery. Nobody can pump those pedals for you; that’s a solo job. But the mental health community can provide support and encouragement.

Those seeking recovery can find motivation in others who are doing the same.

And the entire system works because organizations like Buckelew, along with others in the community, partner with health systems and government entities to provide and maintain the pathways.

As we mark May as Mental Health Month, consider donating your own time or resources to support those on this journey. I encourage you to find programs in your local area to support. To contribute to Buckelew’s efforts, simply click the button below. Only by working—both alone and together—can we ensure mental health access for all.

Buckelew Appreciates Your Generosity

Talk of the Week

Of all the people I’ve encountered in the mental health field, Kevin Briggs stands apart for the honesty, compassion, and courage he brought to conversations with people in moments of profound despair. During his 23 years with the California Highway Patrol, much of that work took place on the Golden Gate Bridge, where he became known as the Guardian of the Golden Gate. His reflections offer both hope and a powerful reminder of how much work remains in keeping people safe and connected. His TED Talk has been viewed over 11 million times between YouTube and TED, though the true measure of his impact can’t be counted.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: My friend and mentor Chip Conley offers a thoughtful reflection on one of the hardest questions many of us may face: What to Say to a Friend Who is Contemplating Suicide.

• Hearing: I recently discovered Hope Starts With Us from NAMI, a podcast grounded in honest conversations around mental health, connection, and reducing stigma.

• Viewing: In just seven minutes, Mitch Wallis delivers a moving microdocumentary that reminds us how powerful open conversations and shared understanding can be during Mental Health Awareness Month.

Spotlight on The End of Isolation Documentary

I’ve championed the work of Sarah Shourd for many years. Few people embody the transformation of profound hardship into meaningful advocacy the way she does. Through her work as a journalist, playwright, and graphic novelist, she has brought needed attention to the realities of solitary confinement and the need for reform within our prison system. She is now focusing instead on inviting people to reimagine justice beyond prison.

Her latest project takes that mission into a new medium: documentary film. The film premieres Sunday, May 31, at the San Francisco Documentary Festival, a significant milestone for any filmmaker. If you’re in the Bay Area, I hope you’ll join me in celebrating this important achievement. And if you’re not local, I encourage you to follow her ongoing work through The End of Isolation.

The topics today are difficult to tackle, but so important to do so. Through clear and compelling communication we can make a difference for others. I hope you’ll do so with the skills I cover in each of these newsletters.

Drop a note in the comments below and let me know what unfolds.

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All the best,
jds

Last weekend on Earth Day, I saw the opposite: a vivid example of simple communication driving behavior change.

Unity San Francisco has a wonderful hospitality hour following our weekly service. A small, part-time staff and a group of volunteers prepare a feast every Sunday for 50 to 75 guests. The laughter, fellowship and storytelling that takes place in the hall is a beautiful example of community building.

One challenge, however, has been the cleanup and disposal of waste. Our small kitchen boasts no reusable china, so we must use disposable items.

Like many places, Unity provides large cans labeled Trash, Recycling, and Compost with signs of images and descriptions, appropriately instructing how to dispose of waste. The well meaning, but confusing, signs did not drive the desired action. Too many of us stood in front of the cans trying to figure out if the fork in our hands was garbage, recyclable or compostable.

Announced on Earth Day, Unity chose to move to a completely compostable system. Every item used in serving meals can now be thrown into compost, along with uneaten food. Buying compostable utensils is more expensive than merely recyclable utensils. Yet Unity San Francisco put their money where their mouth is to invest in fully compostable products.

Compliance has much improved because someone chose to make it easier for us to comply.

Where in your own communication could your call to action be simplified?

If you are sending an email invitation to a meeting, can you include easily clicked options that automatically show up on both your calendars? I use Calendly for this, which is a real time saver.

If you want an audience to provide feedback after a meeting, could you simply project a QR code to launch a 90-second survey right then and there, as my YPO client in London did last week? It beats trying to track them down days or weeks later.

Years ago, a team of my Stanford students was participating in a pitch competition. They had developed an educational app deployed on the iPad (something relatively new at the time). As they moved into the Q&A portion of their presentation, they gave each judge an iPad preloaded with the app, encouraging them to play with the technology during the questions. It served as yet another vivid example of making it easy to drive the desired behavior.

Those kinds of actions provide simple ways for your audience to complete an evaluation, demo a product, schedule a meeting, or properly discard compost, making all the difference in your communication.

I would love to hear other examples of ways you’ve used simple communication to drive action. Drop them in the chat below. I treasure your responses.

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Talk of the Week

I’ve been waiting since January to share Dr. Danielle Allen’s remarks upon receiving the Zemsky Medal at Penn’s Higher Education Leadership Conference. Titled “What role does higher education play in sustaining democracy?”, her talk is a masterclass in both executive presence and substance. While her command of the stage is striking, it’s the depth and clarity of her ideas that have stayed with me months later… a welcoming invitation to think more seriously about the role that institutions and communicators play in shaping a healthy democracy.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: Another quiet reminder of what’s possible when generosity meets dignity… a story that stayed with me long after reading.

• Hearing: Speaking of my partner at MEA, Kristine Michie, here’s a podcast featuring Isaias Hernandez who is an energizing voice blending climate, creativity, and storytelling into a call for thoughtful action.

• Viewing: Just for fun, check out this standout flash talk from Stanford’s inaugural 3-Minute Thesis competition, where complex ideas meet clarity, speed, and a bit of stage presence.

Have a great week and let me know what examples you create or observe of simple communication driving clear change.

All the best,
jds

Asilomar for the Brain and Mind is a 3-day convening of founders, funders, policymakers, and beneficiaries of advances in neuroscience and artificial intelligence. It was a hallmark of brilliant design, clear focus, and excellent execution.

I want to share with you some of the principles the organizers used so you can apply them to your next meeting, whether it’s an hour or a week.

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Here’s what the BrainMind team did before, during and after this stellar meeting.

Before: Site selection, invites, and prep.

The location, Asilomar Conference Center near Monterrey, California, was the site of another meeting a half-century ago in 1975, where leaders in the nascent field of genetics gathered for a similar purpose. Those attendees used their time on this hallowed ground to set clear ethical guidelines for genetics, which continue to guide the field today. On the shoulders of these ancestors, we crafted principles and guidelines for ethical decision-making, research and entrepreneurship in the field of neuroscience. Neuroscience has been massively accelerated and changed with the growth of AI.

Diana Saville, co-founder and president of BrainMind, was intentional about the invitation list and had prior individual conversations with everyone, over 250 of us. She determined our commitment level and gauged our exuberance for the task at hand. She carefully selected seven pairs of leaders to facilitate multi-hour breakouts on the ethics of neuroscience. She reminded us often that no one leading a workshop had this as their day job. Everybody volunteered to participate.

During: Not a “sit back” conference, but a working meeting.

On Sunday night, Diana reminded us that this was not a typical conference to sit back, take in whatever sessions called to us, and step out whenever we wanted for phone calls or email. We were there to roll up our sleeves and get to work. Based on my gifts, knowledge of the field, and interests, I was assigned to two working groups. But I think I have a sense of what was happening in all the breakouts. The leaders had prepared demonstrations to show us, drafted principles to share, curated examples of best practices, and authored case studies of challenging ethical dilemmas.

Diana and her team thoughtfully designed the meeting’s key events into a three-day arc. In the very first session, Diana also emphasized that we would be deliberating some thorny questions and welcomed disagreement. The schedule was loose, allowing for white space, walks on the beach, yoga in the morning, and informal conversations by the fire pit at night. The overarching message was: our important work could be supported only if we were taking care of ourselves in the process.

While seeking consensus, it was important to include all points of view.

Many current and former patients participated in each discussion, bringing their lived experience with neuroscience products and treatments, and ensuring a perspective from those who would directly benefit from the innovations of these scientists and entrepreneurs. Two individuals with such lived experience even delivered the opening keynote in tandem, sharing their journey “From Shame & Horror to Anger & Hope.”

After two days full of rich conversations, our third morning was all about making commitments. All seven working groups reported their initial findings and shared a QR code that anyone present could use to volunteer, share thoughts and insights, or sign up for updates. It was not like a timeshare presentation where you felt pressured to buy something. Instead, there was enthusiasm in the room to keep this process going and to do what it takes to maintain the forward momentum.

Piloting us to a perfect landing, Diana concluded with a simple, compelling ritual. We each received a stone inscribed with a word to inspire us over the coming year. Then nearly two hundred people rose and walked together to the beach. At the edge of the vast Pacific Ocean, we collectively shared our commitment out loud, to a “force greater than ourselves.”

After: The proof will be seen in the months (and years) ahead.

The impact of this Asilomar Conference, like the one in 1975, may best be appreciated in the coming decades. An initial signal of our success will be in the work each of the seven working groups completes, based on input from so many. In the first few emails after the event, it was abundantly clear that work had already begun. Many groups have a shared Google document where we can all opt in for further contact and connection. The momentum is palpable, but it will need to be fostered to achieve lasting impact: useful, usable guidelines for ethics in this crucial field of brain science.

It was a remarkable privilege to be among these exceptional individuals who were designing and debating guiding principles for the future. And, while at first I feared I might be treated like an interloper who showed up at the wrong family reunion, I was not. I was embraced for who I was and invited to share my unique gifts of communication to help this work move forward.

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Talk of the week

As TED 2026 opens next week, it feels like a fitting moment to revisit Eric Nguyen’s 2025 talk. Coincidentally his work at the intersection of AI and genetics may well stand on the shoulders of the 1975 Asilomar conference. I had the privilege of coaching Eric in the final weeks of his prep, watching him shape not just the content, but the intention behind it. His talk stands on its own, but I’ve also appreciated his reflections on the journey with an honest look at what it takes to bring an idea to the TED stage: On the Red Circle: What it’s really like to give a TED talk.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: Regarding intentional gatherings, Lisa Kay Solomon’s Moments of Impact remains my go-to guide to designing meetings and conversations that matter.

• Hearing: Adam Grant and Brené Brown have joined forces on a new podcast, The Curiosity Shop, explores what becomes possible when we lead with questions instead of answers.

• Viewing: I’ve returned several times this week to a short Substack video that beautifully blurs the line between art and life… one of those pieces that stays with you a little longer than expected.

Have a great week, and I look forward to hearing how you use this week’s lessons to maximize the impact of your meetings.

All the best,

jds

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Whether you are prepping for a high-stakes pitch or an informal meeting, here is how to push beyond your baseline to speak with greater conviction:

• “Pre-crastinate” your prep: Don’t wait until the night before to title your talk. Name it weeks in advance. Setting the “headline” early allows your ideas to percolate and your subconscious to do the heavy lifting long before you step onto the stage.

• Audit your Auto-Pilot: If you’re a natural storyteller, lean into the hard data. If you’re a numbers person, challenge yourself to find the qualitative narrative. Stretching your content style ensures you aren’t just comfortable—you’re effective.

• Master the low and slow: Your voice is your most versatile tool. Use it to animate your words. When you need to demonstrate gravitas, drop into a lower register and slow your cadence. This shift in vocal animation signals to your audience that what you are saying right now is different, and merits deeper attention.

• The Video Mirror: The most painful stretch is often the most productive: watch yourself on video. Reviewing your performance (and sharing it with a mentor for feedback) is the fastest way to bridge the gap between how you think you’re showing up and how you actually are.

Overall, just take the baby steps, because, for the baby, baby steps aren’t small. Even doing a little bit to stretch yourself inside of each presentation helps you maintain a lifelong commitment to Communicating with Mastery.

Today we celebrate my husband, Rev. Ken Daigle’s birthday. As a meaningful gift this year, I am inviting everybody in my circle to leave an Amazon review on his book, Unapologetic Manifestation. This relatively small gesture carries immense weight for an author’s reach.

Leave a Review for Ken's Birthday!

Talk of the Week

I attended my first South by Southwest (SxSW) a few weeks ago. The very final talk before I headed to the airport was phenomenal. Jack Conte, founder of the creator site Patreon, delivered a powerful, nuanced and passionate talk. He’s done more than anybody to return the power of sharing (and being compensated for it) to creators, totaling over $10 billion (with a B). Conte delivers a vivid history lesson about the various forces that have shaped and reshaped music delivery over the past century. Watch (or skip) to the end for a compelling manifesto on embracing creators amid AI’s rapid spread.

Conte is a vivid example of stretching yourself in a talk; see how much new material and how many methods he used to make this keynote a true showstopper.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: Hidden Pressure by Zahana Tate, an eighth grader raised by two moms, offers a striking and stretching perspective on the exhaustion of racism that lingers long after reading.

• Hearing: I’m over halfway through the audiobook of Beyond Belief by my former Stanford GSB colleague Nir Eyal. Each chapter brings to life the shifts that can stretch us from limiting beliefs to more liberating ones.

• Viewing: Robin Williams is at his finest in Good Will Hunting; a scene of quiet brilliance, often said to have been unscripted. Both Williams’ improv and Matt Damon’s response serve to remind us of what presence in its purest form looks like.

As always, I’m grateful for your reading, commenting, and sharing. It makes my day! I look forward to hearing how you stretch yourself over the next few weeks as we enter a new month, a new quarter, a new season.

All the best,

jds

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I often coach individual leaders to prepare for a meeting, talk, or interview, but what I most cherish is working with an entire cohort of individuals to build their skills together. This allows me to scale my impact across the entire group. The saying “a high tide lifts all boats” applies here, as participants can benefit from the cohort approach in ways my individual clients cannot.

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Today, let me explain why that’s the case. For each approach, I offer a case study from my clients over the past few months.

1. Excellence breeds excellence – When a team faces the same task, such as presenting their project to the firm’s senior leaders, they feel the pressure to perform well. But they also find comfort in knowing they are not alone. Observing the unique approaches others take sparks creativity and drives better results.

• Case study: Four junior faculty members at Stanford’s School of Medicine were invited to give 15-minute “micro-talks” about their research at the Dean’s annual retreat. I worked individually with each speaker, then brought all four together for a final dress rehearsal about a week before the retreat. These scholars, from diverse fields within the school, engaged in content discussions among themselves while I focused on delivery skills. This group of relative strangers within a large faculty was given the opportunity to bond.

2. Cross-pollination – If designed so that speakers can see me coaching their peers, it multiplies my impact. I can coach one on visuals, another on transitions, and a third on body language.

All benefit not only from the coaching they receive but from what they observe. I call this “learning on both sides of the microscope.”

• Case study: 25 high-potential leaders from CAE worked with me virtually and in person over a five-month period, culminating in five teams delivering recommendations for CAE’s C-suite based on research projects they conducted in strategic areas for the firm. I worked with all these teams via Zoom as they prepared for their presentations. Then, in the final 48 hours, they gathered in person and benefited from watching me coach a “buddy team,” further strengthening their presentation and communication skills through observation.

3. Mutual coaching – Even when I’m not around, my coaching influence continues, because the speakers can reinforce my language and advice. This is when I witness the true impact of my work on scale.

• Case study: I collaborated with a team of scientists from Virta Health during a half-day offsite focused on storytelling with data. In the following months, the group continued to coach each other using the same methods and language I provided.

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The work I do is often proprietary, which prevents me from sharing the results of my coaching. Here are four examples with playlists on YouTube that I can share.

• One Mind Music Festival & Science Symposium features five scientists designated as rising stars in their fields, sharing their innovative approaches to vexing mental health issues.

• The DISCOVERY Soulful Speaker Series, produced five times in the past two years, gave a platform to founders within the Rugged Elegance Foundation’s portfolio to share their unique work.

• Schmidt Science Fellows 2025 Interdisciplinary Summit brought four speakers from vastly different disciplines together to deliver 7-minute, slide-free talks about their groundbreaking work.

• Frontiers in Medicine serves as the premier donor engagement event for Stanford Medicine. For more than a decade, I’ve helped three faculty members distill their complex research into a ten-minute talk easily accessible to an educated lay audience.

And while parents are not supposed to have favorites, I have to close today’s Comm Matters with a jewel that I co-founded at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business. I was able to return last week to see the fifteenth year of this unique program, as MBA students craft and deliver talks under ten minutes about how they aspire to change lives, organizations, and the world (LOW). This YouTube library of over 350 talks has millions of YouTube viewers. I’m proud of the legacy this program has provided for speakers, coaches, and audience members.

Talk of the Week

Today’s Talk of the week features just one of these LOWKeynote talks by Bani Maini presenting about a deeply personal journey from the aftermath of a near-fatal trauma to a place of profound inner peace. While standing amidst the beauty of Italy, she found herself trapped in an “endless tunnel” of emptiness. I urge you to continue watching to discover how she shifted her perspective.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: During the opening of the One Mind Accelerator, I met Laura Delano and picked up her book Unshrunk, a challenging but worthwhile read on psychiatric treatment resistance.

• Hearing: A powerful conversation between Chip Conley and Pam King on how a near-death experience reshaped Chip’s perspective on purpose, aging, and the wisdom we carry into life’s transitions.

• Viewing: Through the DISCOVERY series, Dr. Sará King pauses at Gorée Island’s “Door of No Return,” a powerful moment that quietly holds themes of remembrance, resilience, and possibility.

Thanks for joining me in today’s Comm Matters. I’m always open to topics you’d like to see me cover in future posts. Drop your suggestions in the comments below.

All the best,

jds

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It’s rarely the volume of information. Instead, it’s the impact of the stories shared. In the short video below, I outline five practical steps you can use immediately to sharpen your stories and make them do real work in the rooms where you lead. For those pressed for time, skim the steps after the video.

Five Steps to Sharper Stories

1. Parachute in: Resist the long runway of explanations. Drop us into the moment of action. Let us feel first…you can fill in more details later.

2. Know your first and final words: Choose where to start and where to land; your first and final impression. Then take the path you want from start to finish.

3. Use Goldilocks level of details: Too many details and you may lose your audience. Too few details may leave your audience with questions, unintentionally. Explore Finding your communication sweet spot for more on this key skill.

4. Use poetry: Use words that carry “more than their weight” so your impact is greater. Often an analogy within a story will help make the point more vivid.

5. Know your why: Why are you telling your story? What do you want your audience to know? If it is difficult to answer these questions, returning to the AIM model is the best place to start.

In this issue, I am changing up the Talk of the Week to tie it into the storytelling lessons from this newsletter as a beautiful example of my framework. See how this volunteer firefighter does all five strategies in less than five minutes.

Talk of the Week

Drop your favorite examples from Mark’s talk in the comments below. It’s an oldie but a goodie, one of the many short talks at TED that packs a great deal of impact in a short amount of time.

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JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: Here’s One Mind’s CEO, Kathy Pike’s powerful reflection in Courage, Acceptance, and the Work Before Us

• Hearing: Sunday night I took Ken and three friends to hear the inspiring and entertaining presidential historian Jon Meacham speak at Dominican University. Take a listen to his delightful talk (start at 12:30). It’s some excellent storytelling.

• Viewing: I share some of my own childhood stories, photos, and even a song in this talk about growing up a Kansas kid who didn’t experience very much diversity. I’m clearly not the typical choice to speak on Black History Month.

As the shortest month of the year slips away, I look forward to what spring holds in store. As always, I appreciate you and your comments below. Let me know what stories you are telling these days.

All the best,

jds

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I recently had the privilege to work with two groups of higher education leaders, and I’m acutely aware of the demands they face in the current climate on our campuses. I like to cross-pollinate across all the schools where I teach, speak, and consult. I’ve taken many of the lessons below from peers who earned their doctorate in higher education leadership with me at the University of Pennsylvania. I then extended it through conversations with Aspen’s Rising Presidents Fellows.

Whether or not you work in the field of higher education, you are affected by cloudy communication. I invite you to read the full post and then share it with others who may benefit from these insights.

In the current challenging climate for communication, our students need more from us as communicators, as leaders, and as mentors. As I told my fellow graduates at Penn: “Now more than ever, we need to call our leaders to step up and step in.”

The clip above captures a moment where higher education leaders at Penn’s GSE and I explore the need today for communication mastery.

Through conversations with a wide range of academic leaders in the first few weeks of 2026, I see five clear struggles leaders, staff, and faculty must confront to communicate with mastery.

1.) Communication without courage: We often produce technically competent statements that may be so carefully worded that they lack the courage to express unpopular, unfinished, or dissenting ideas.

2.) The widening gap between our words and actions: Our students (just like our children) can quickly see the inconsistency of “do as I say, not as I do.” This was so aptly captured in the adage (incorrectly attributed to Emerson): “What you do speaks so loud, I cannot hear what you say.”

3.) The eroding trust in the value and relevance of higher education: If institutions can’t communicate their relevance clearly and with humility, others will define their value for them.

4.) Information discernment in a misinformation era: One of our greatest gifts is teaching our students how to evaluate sources, engage responsibly, and know when to disengage. This only happens with powerful discernment and clear role modeling.

5.) Intellectual discomfort is avoided, not designed. While trying to make our campuses a “safe space for all,” we may be missing the chance to allow, even invite, discomfort as we consider issues from other points of view. I gave my husband this two-sided pillow for his office as a pastor, and it is just as important as those of us who educate.

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So, if that’s the diagnosis, what then is the solution?

All of us, from part-time adjuncts to senior administrators, from post-docs to professors, need to embrace courageous communication marked by authenticity, transparency, and commitment.

Courageous communicators speak and write in a way that is personal and authentic, not overly engineered, but real, even raw. We admit when we get it wrong, and we try again. On October 7, 2023, the awful day of violence in Gaza, the USC president released a hastily created statement that had to be retracted a few hours later when more information was available. The impact of admitting “We got this wrong” was powerful role modeling for the entire campus.

All parties benefit when leaders communicate in an audience-centered way, saying not what we think they “want to hear” but what we believe the audience “needs to hear.” And we show up again and again in office hours and town halls, to listen, connect, and continue the conversation.

Further, I was reminded by my academic peers of the need for committed listening to one another, even when we disagree, perhaps especially then. As two academics, Lyubomirsky and Reis, shared in the NY Times this week the secret to happiness may well be in our ability to truly listen. It’s not the “secondary element” of communication, it is its essence.

I believe courageous communication is needed in healthcare, non-profits, finance, public service, the armed forces…in literally every role and in every organization.

We need courageous communication marked by authenticity, transparency, and commitment. What might that make possible in your organization? I welcome your thoughts below in the comments.

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Courageous communication requires more than conviction. It requires access to your authentic voice, especially in moments of transition, fatigue, or uncertainty. I’m delighted to share that registration is now open for my next workshop at MEA’s Santa Fe campus at the end of August, where I’ll be co-teaching alongside the celebrated play expert Kristine Michie. Together, we’ll facilitate an experience that helps you loosen what feels stuck, rediscover play, and find language that feels authentic.

Talk of the Week

At ComNet in Denver last October, Stephen Hawkins of More in Common offered a research-grounded look at polarization that feels especially relevant to this week’s topic of courageous communication. He distinguishes between actual division and the “perception gaps” that distort how we see one another, and shows how those distortions quietly fuel hostility. One of his most compelling insights: the most powerful way to lower the temperature isn’t shaming the other side, but modeling perspective shifts within your own. If courage in communication begins anywhere, it may begin there.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: Angela Haupt’s What to Say Instead of “I Hope This Email Finds You Well” is a reminder that small language choices can either dull or sharpen connection in our daily communication.

• Hearing: In a bonus episode of Pivot, the producers of Heated Rivalry take an honest look at conviction, constraint, and staying aligned with vision.

• Viewing: A mesmerizing flip-book-style mural on a freeway overpass in Indio, inspired by early motion photography.

I wish you all the best as we head into a holiday weekend here in the states. I look forward to hearing from you about how you use these concepts.

PS: We don’t ban our students from using AI at USC, but they are required to explain how they used it. The only place we used AI was to synthesize and compile the five challenges facing academic leaders. Everything else is my own work, with expert human intelligence from Paul and Jackie.

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It was my daughter’s fifth-grade class.

Since I am not used to teaching such young (and energetic) learners, I adapted what I often teach adults about the importance of using our mind, breath, and body to convey information to others. The two-day experience served to remind me that the basics of effective oral communication are the same, whether you are ten, or seven times that age.

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Below, I have shared with you my summary of the five lessons I taught the fifth graders in less than five minutes. Please give it a view. See if you can begin to incorporate any of these techniques in the meetings that you lead, the classes that you teach, or the talks that you deliver.

And while I enjoy the many items of corporate tchotchkes I get from many of my client engagements, the unexpected avalanche of hand drawn thank you cards was an unexpected perk of my return to fifth grade, and going back to the basics.

My invitation for you this week is to set your own Wayback Machine. Go back in time. What was it like when you first began to consider what it takes to speak in public? Go back to the basics with these five simple, yet challenging, lessons for fifth graders.

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On Saturday, January 31 at 5pm PT, Ken will be marking the launch of Unapologetic Manifestation with a live gathering designed to be more than a celebration of a book. It’s a chance to come together and explore the ideas at the heart of his work in real time and in community. The event is both in person at Unity SF and online. If you’ve been meaning to join or are feeling curious, this weekend is the moment. We’d love to have you register here.

Talk of the Week

My friend Debbie recently reminded of Tim Urban’s terrific TED Talk, Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator. My team may appreciate the irony here, since I’m not always the most proactive when it comes to writing each edition of Communication Matters. With humor and surprising insight, Urban walks us through the very human habit of waiting until the last possible moment.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: 12 Communication Habits to Ditch in 2026 by Angela Haupt: a practical look at behaviors that quietly chip away at connection.

• Hearing: A thoughtful conversation with Ken and our good friend Kristine Michie at the Playfull Podcast, exploring play, faith, and unapologetic manifestation… with a small personal bias I’ll happily own.

• Viewing: A delightful video asking parents and their children which famous person, living or dead, they’d most want to have dinner with… reminding us whose answers tend to be the most grounded. Watch until the end.

All the best,

-jds

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“Growth doesn’t come from comfort. It comes from showing up, from doing the small things you’d rather avoid, from pushing yourself a little further than yesterday.” — Ryan Holiday

The impetus for this journey is Ryan Holiday’s 21-Day New Year/New You Challenge. While there’s only a week left in that experience, you can start your own set of personal challenges any time you wish. I’m happy to share more about this in the chat if you are interested.

Living alongside someone’s work gives you a unique perspective. I’ve watched my husband, Ken, return again and again to the question, “What gets in the way of receiving what’s already possible?” His book, Unapologetic Manifestation—now available for preorder—reflects that care, offering a grounded way to notice what holds us back, steady our inner responses, and bring our thoughts and actions into alignment, without apology. He beautifully uses our family narrative as examples of the process of manifestation. I’m deeply proud of his work, and on January 31 at 5pm PT, he’ll be gathering community online and in person at Unity SF to mark the launch. It would mean a great deal to have you join us.

As we get ready to celebrate Ken’s upcoming book launch, I’ve been thinking about the power of authenticity and living your truth. That reflection carried into a conversation I had this week with Brian McNaught, often called the “godfather of gay diversity training.” His story from being fired as a young altar boy for being gay to building a global career reminded me of the power of personal storytelling. For communicators, the lesson is clear: the most persuasive messages aren’t just facts or strategy—they come from honesty, vulnerability, and lived experience. Brian’s work shows how sharing your story can change minds, hearts, and systems.

As 2026 begins I want to amplify a few changes I’ve made. First, based on subscriber feedback, I’m will try to deliver more video content on communication matters (like today). Second, my practice is evolving into offering more keynote addresses, so we’ve leveled up my website, www.jdschramm.com, to reflect that. Huge thanks to Serena, whose insight and care shaped the site you see today. Please take a look and let me know what you think. I welcome your feedback.

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Talk of the Week

As we take a day off to celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I invite you to spend 17 minutes revisiting his words from the National Mall. The “I Have a Dream” speech remains a masterclass in moral clarity, cadence, and conviction, reminding us how language, when anchored in vision and courage, can bend history. Invest just seven more minutes and see Nancy Duarte’s clear analysis of the sparkline underlying Dr. King’s talk.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: In The Time Experiment That Quietly Changed Everything, my friend Bronwyn Saglimbeni shares what happened with her zero cost productivity experiment.

• Hearing: I enjoyed this podcast episode unpacking The Myths of the JFK–Nixon Debate, a thoughtful look at how a long-held narrative took root. I admit I taught this myth for many years, before realizing how inaccurate it was.

• Viewing: Line Riders: Beethoven’s 5th is a mesmerizing, hand-drawn visual interpretation of a classical masterpiece, created over three months and well worth a few quiet minutes.

Finally, I’m just 21 subscribers shy of the 3,000 mark. If you know people who’ve not yet subscribed, invite them to do so. Thanks.

All the best,

jds

In Amy Cuddy’s highly popular TED talk, she broke new ground on how our body language can actually help reduce anxiety and increase confidence. Many speakers deliver a TED talk in hopes of promoting a book. Amy did it differently. Her book, Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges, came out five years after the TED talk and is a much deeper dive.

Yes, I know there are critics of Amy’s work at the Harvard Organizational Behavior Center. But I still subscribe to the concept of bringing presence to every communication interaction. Her concept of striking a power pose to help build inner confidence is a tactic I use before every keynote I deliver or workshop I facilitate. When clients or students are skeptical of the approach, I point them to the social proof of Rebecca from Ted Lasso. If it’s good enough for her before a major business meeting, it’s good enough for me.

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Beyond what you do prior to a conversation to mentally prepare to be present, there is one tool above all that you should leverage within the conversation: direct and clear eye contact. Nothing demonstrates presence more powerfully than making authentic, sustained eye contact for four to seven seconds.

In a world of multi-tasking, when you stop and directly connect with another person, you give the gift of your attention, the gift of your presence.

Compelling research about the power of oxytocin further demonstrated what I have intuitively taught for years. When we lock eyes with another person, something changes for us both. We are establishing a connection beyond mere words that we are sharing. We are signaling that the other person, and your relationship to them, truly matters. For more on this check out Alan Alda’s powerful book, If I Understood You, Would I have This Look on My Face? In chapter 13 he walks through fascinating science about building empathy and trust with another through the simple art of gazing.

As you move through the holidays look for ways to provide others with the gift of your presence and direct eye contact. Let me know how this changes your experience.

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Talk of the Week

As we wind down the year, I’m sharing a talk that never fails to make me laugh. In this TEDxNewYork favorite, Will Stephen brilliantly skewers the rhythms and habits of “great” TED-style talks, proving that confidence and gestures can sometimes matter more than substance. It’s a playful reminder to be thoughtful not just about what we say, but how we say it.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: My friend Rex Woodbury’s 26 Predictions for 2026 offers a scroll-worthy, wide-ranging look at what may be coming next, from AI business models to the future of social platforms. It’s a bit long, but truly worth the read.

• Hearing: In light of a recent loss, I revisited Who Killed JFK? with Rob Reiner and Soledad O’Brien, a compelling audio deep dive into one of history’s most enduring questions.

• Viewing: I’m a complete sucker for a well-done flash mob, and this Christmas-themed one stopped me in my tracks… in the very best way.

In the distracted season of year-end franticness during holiday preparation, I invite you to give the most important gift...your presence.

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All the best,

jds

I don’t attend many Penn events and don’t feel very connected to my Alma Mater, where I earned my doctorate in 2012. As I got closer to the start of the evening, there were several points where I nearly backed out. In fact, if my laptop had been in the car, I might have just hung out at Starbucks and worked on some tasks for a couple of hours while someone watched the kids. I’m so glad I didn’t. I chose to walk through the doors and join the event.

I was surprised to be greeted by name the moment I arrived. One of my peers in the doctoral program, Hoopes Wampler, who is now a Senior Associate VP of Alumni Affairs, saw me walk in and called me by name. I did not expect that. It began the evening on a high note.

What made this event different was the intentional design and ease of connection that the organizers created. The evening never felt forced and conversation flowed nicely. There are a few items that the organizers included that did not show up as gimmicks, but rather as easy access points for conversations with strangers.

The first was a simple 3 X 5 card, pictured below, and the chance to cross off three in a row and be eligible for a door prize. It surprised me that this made that much of a difference, but it was a fun and easy way to connect with strangers. It opened conversations and laughter without feeling like a demand to participate. (I will note that I did complete my card, but didn’t win the door prize.)

Another simple tactic they used was to add conversation starters to your name tag, like, “Ask me about my pet.” Or “Ask me about a recent podcast I listened to that changed my life.” Maybe half the crowd put on these stickers, and it made it easy, but not demanding, that we participate.

During the 45 minutes we were given to mingle, I positioned myself at a table by myself, enjoying a few of the wonderful hors d’oeuvres. A few alumni joined me shortly. We were then joined by some students in the Executive MBA program. Conversations flowed easily. Some asked about the stickers on our badges. Others, like me, were trying to fill out their tic-tac-toe board. No one ever pulled out a business card. (Okay, that might also be generational; many people under 40 don’t carry business cards.) As we were separating, a few of us decided to connect on LinkedIn, which felt like a natural next step in the conversation, not some sales pitch to find each other and do future business.

I had one conversation with an EMBA student whose communication professor I knew. We snapped a selfie to send to her, letting her know we had met. As the event was about to start, I made my way to the auditorium, sitting next to someone I had met just moments earlier. It provided a chance for a longer conversation.

The program started and ended on time. The moderator kept things light, comfortable and playful. It was not an evening that emphasized content but rather experience, fostering organic conversations among us about our experiences. No party games. No “Tell me more about yourself.” Driving home, I reflected on specific communication strategies that I can offer to my readers when they find themselves at a networking event.

• Attend with an open mind. Be curious about those you meet and ask thoughtful questions. Allow others to speak more than you do.

• In conversations, seek quality, not quantity. In Susan Cain’s book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Just Can’t Stop Talking, she offers tips for introverts at networking functions. She advises setting a low goal of how many new people to meet. Once that’s met, give yourself permission to leave. While I am not an introvert, I felt accomplished after having three deep conversations of connection.

• Follow up with clear intentions. I struggle with following up after events like this. I feel the need for ROI from attending such events, rather than spending more time with my kids. I try to limit my follow-up to just a few contacts and make it intentional, like sharing a TED Talk, podcast, or blog post relevant to our conversation. I don’t need to invite people to coffee or encourage them to subscribe to my newsletter. I only need to be of service to those I meet, opening opportunities for future conversations.

Drop a note in the discussion below and let me know other tactics you deploy when facing the task (or opportunity) to network with others.

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Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community – Book Club: On Dec 11th at 8 AM Pacific, I’ll be part of a live discussion of my book, Communicate with Mastery, hosted inside the Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community (If you join before January 2nd, your first month is free). Regular readers know how often I link to Matt’s books and talks, come join us for this conversation.

As we close out the year, I’m struck by a quiet milestone: this newsletter marks our 75th issue. When I first began writing these posts, my hope was simply to offer a useful nudge or a fresh lens for those committed to clearer, more intentional communication. To shape where we go next, and ensure these notes continue to serve you well, I’d love your perspective. Below is a brief survey to help guide the topics and formats we explore in 2026.

Dear Reader: Please take a moment to help us make Communications Matters better!

Talk of the Week

At a McDonald’s PlayPlace, Matthew Dicks found himself in a spot to which any parent can relate: his son stuck high in a plastic tube, while his daughter below hesitates. His story offers unexpected courage and sibling connection. This proves even more poignant in retrospect, four years later, as his daughter is diagnosed with autism … offering insight into her unique perspective and quiet brilliance.

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JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: Collin Wallace’s Substack post offers a heartfelt tribute to two remarkable GSB colleagues, Joel Peterson and Jon Bendor, at their passing.

• Hearing: For those of us who celebrate the season, Clio Briggs’ performance of Christmas Lullaby is a personal favorite of mine—a beautiful interpretation of Jason Robert Brown’s touching song.

• Viewing: Lisa Bloom’s podcast The Story is All There Is recently came to a close. Their farewell episode is a thoughtful, engaging sendoff, celebrating stories that linger long after they’re told.

As we enter this season of holiday gatherings and opportunities to connect and network, I invite you to test these strategies. See what works for you as you look to relate with authenticity and an openness to what unfolds.

Drop a note in the chat below if you have other networking strategies. I’d especially like to hear from those of you who don’t like to network.

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All the best,

jds

Gratitude leads to appreciation

As a child, my mom taught me the basics of weaving, just one of many textile art forms she practiced. To create a tapestry, one needs both the warp, the long vertical threads that run the full length of the piece, and the woof, the short horizontal threads that add color, texture, and depth. The warp is strung on the loom first and is the foundation for the woof to follow.

It’s much the same with gratitude and appreciation.

Gratitude is an internal response to something we receive or experience. Like the warp in weaving, it’s the foundation for an “attitude of gratitude” to carry us through the day. Many days, I will capture a list of items in my life for which I’m grateful. I then share that gratitude list with two or three friends. This ritual helps establish the foundation for my day.

As the motivational writer William Arthur Ward says,

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

Appreciation, on the other hand, is the outward expression of gratitude to another person. In that action, I both acknowledge the person but I also am somehow able to “own” a bit of their talent or gift for myself. As Voltaire said,

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”

This great post, The Power of Choice: Gratitude vs. Appreciation, helped me better understand the nuance of this distinction. Plus, there’s some remarkable science behind these concepts.

The Science of Gratitude

Experiencing authentic gratitude and expressing sincere appreciation provides remarkable health benefits. It’s been shown to increase dopamine levels, create serotonin, and decrease cortisol.

Having gratitude as a foundation in our lives serves then as an “upstream regulator” of mood, focus, and resilience, providing a reservoir of strength in the moment to counteract overstimulation, frustration, and aggravation. Over time, it creates long-range health benefits. As the GLW Guide on Substack offers “Gratitude in this context is not sentimental, it’s regulatory.”

That research from the GLW Guide inspired me over the past month to dive deeper into this topic, but if you prefer a more playful view of this, check out the YouTube video below from Tremendousness:

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The Power of Appreciation

My husband Ken often says, “What we appreciate, appreciates.” Practically speaking, I’ve seen this in my own life in real estate from my first apartment in the East Village to the two homes we’ve owned together in California. But it’s equally true of other qualities that we want to increase in our lives.

As I observe the beauty, talent, kindness, forgiveness, and generosity in others…and acknowledge it…I set myself up to receive even more of that.

There’s also a flip side to this point. What we depreciate, depreciates. Have you ever purchased and driven a car off the dealer’s lot and then tried to return it? You will immediately experience the financial effects of depreciation. Likewise, if I take an ill view of a colleague when I see an email from them or pull into the parking lot at work and see their car, I’m assuming the worst. I’m devaluing another person, before I ever encounter them, and I’m setting up a scenario of depreciation. In Recovery rooms, this practice is sometimes known as “Contempt prior to investigation.”

So.... If it’s in the power of our minds to bring forth either quality—appreciation or depreciation—why not bring forth the one that which best serves us and others?

As we walk through this week, when many in the U.S. celebrate Thanksgiving, I invite you to embrace gratitude and express appreciation. Perhaps in one of these simple actions:

• Create a gratitude list (and share it with another).

• Surprise somebody with an unexpected handwritten note of appreciation.

• Slow down and just drink in the nature around you.

• Seek out art, online or in a gallery, and simply appreciate the artist’s talent.

• Fall asleep tonight, reflecting on what you’re grateful for from the day.

Let me know how it goes for you. I treasure comments in the discussion below as you explore these concepts. If you’d like more on this topic, I invite you to check out the Sunday lesson I delivered at Unity San Francisco on November 23. You can see the video here or simply listen to the podcast. I go into greater depth and share some stories of how the foundation of gratitude and expression of appreciation have been showing up in my life.

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Talk of the Week

A joyful and vulnerable TEDx talk from my dear friend Roger Manix on how play can restore connection, courage, and well-being. He traces his own journey and shows how simple, low-stakes exercises can spark imagination and connection. His “family portrait” moment is worth the watch… it’s a beautiful reminder of how quickly play can break down walls and bring people together.

JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Viewing

• Reading: 6 Ways to Foster Connection & Reduce Isolation Amidst Crisis from One Mind — a wonderful, insight-rich guide providing strategies for crisis prevention, preparation, response and recovery.

• Hearing: Setting Your Partner Up for Success — This thoughtful conversation between the futurist Lisa K. Solomon and improviser Dan Klein explores how embracing failure, staying flexible, and lifting up others can lead to creativity and confidence.

• Viewing: I couldn’t believe the end of this short clip — the visual jump from billions to trillions is almost unbelievable. I’ve shared with my kids to help them see exponential power (and the value of money!).

No matter how you like to acknowledge and celebrate this season of thanks, know that I appreciate you for reading and sharing my work.

Happy Thanksgiving,

jds

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On what may well have been my very last business trip of the year, a week in Montreal, I brought home a souvenir that I did not expect. Near the end of the trip, I started to get ill. By the time I was home, my doctor determined it was walking pneumonia. Walking pneumonia is no joke. In fact, it’s a bit of a misnomer, because the last thing you should be doing is walking around.

My illness hit just as my husband, Ken, needed to travel on business, so I was a solo dad, doing as much as I could to take care of my family while completely exhausted. The experience taught me the power of just slowing down. It’s not a new lesson. It’s one I’ve learned before but often forget. For several days, I needed to be okay with doing the bare minimum. My executive assistant, Jackie, helped me triage which emails truly demanded my attention. My USC students had to tolerate slower-than-optimal grading speed. My kids enjoyed a bit more device time than I would prefer. I took the better part of five days to rest, sleep and regenerate.

We can all benefit from the power of a pause. The lesson here is that you don’t need to be hit over the head like I was.

Joanna Kirke, one of the presenters who shared the program at CAE with me in Montreal used this Viktor Frankl quote to reinforce the message that between stimulus and response, we should all embrace a pause. Whether it is responding to difficult news or criticism, pondering before answering a difficult question, or taking as much as a day or two to respond with a thoughtful reply to an email, our power is in the pause. Our communication is almost always stronger when we pause. It allows us to reread an email to verify not just spelling or grammar, but to determine that our intention comes through. Pausing allows us to be thoughtful in our response. And, much like our PC, we are much better if we shut down at least once a week.

Loyal readers, I’m so grateful for the thousands of you who read each edition every couple of weeks. In this month of gratitude... I appreciate you! If you are new here, let me suggest you take a tour through the Communication Matters archives. There is a treasure of communication tips and strategies on a wide range of subjects. Drop me a note and let me know what you found particularly helpful on your leadership communication journey.

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Talk of the Week

This week I’m spotlighting a talk of my own — The Bridge Back to Life — which I delivered on October 4 at Rugged Elegance Presents…DISCOVERY: Flourishing and the Founder’s Journey. It’s one of the most personal stories I’ve ever shared, and I offer it in the hope that it may be useful to you or someone who needs it. Please share.

In the talk, I revisit June 11, 2003, the day I attempted to end my life. I survived because strangers were more committed to my future than I was in that moment. What followed was not just recovery but rebuilding: clearing the “brush” in my life, tending to new growth, and choosing to stay.

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JD’s Recommendations: What I’m Reading, Hearing, and Seeing

• Reading: The Lost Art of Being Present — a short, thoughtful piece by Ryan Holiday on learning to stay present…a reminder that the moments we notice often shape us more than the ones we chase.

• Hearing: Brené Brown’s conversation on The Diary of a CEO about courage, belonging, and the daily work of showing up with a little more honesty and a little less armor.

• Viewing: James Geary’s TED Talk from 2009 — a playful reflection on how metaphors work in our minds and shape the way we make sense of the world.

As we move into the week before the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday, my thought experiment for you is to consciously build in some pauses—in your writing, in your speaking, in your life.

Drop me a note and let me know how powering off pays off for you. Watch for one more post next week before we begin the US holiday of Thanksgiving.

All the best,

jds