Sometimes we do dumb things. Or things don’t work out the way we think they are supposed to.

Today, I was preparing to send a well-known podcaster a message about my book and my story of tapping into a more spiritual life, hoping to reach more people so that they can find the inspiration and tools to send them down their own spiritual journey.

I blew it. I went to Claude to ensure I didn’t have any typos and that it wasn’t too long. I tweaked the pitch, then I copied it and pasted it into the Substack chat—a quick tap of a finger and the gut punch once I realized what I had done. I accidentally hit send before I could rework it into my own authentic voice. It starts with “Hi [Name]!”

I know.

Of course there was no way to recall the message or edit it after it was sent.

Normally, I could spin myself up, worrying about a blown opportunity, about how I’ll be perceived, and more. The same thing could have happened when I failed to get a strong connection in a session the other day, or when I sent a deposit to a book printer who had done a terrible job of printing.

Let it flow

Today, I’m learning to flow. I sent a follow-up — honest, a little sheepish — explaining what happened and hoping they might still invite me on the podcast. They may not. And that’s okay.

I did my best, I made a mistake, and it’s not the end of the world. I can relax and trust that things work out the way they’re supposed to.

Trust. That’s the biggest lesson.

When my printer sent a proof copy of Tapped In that was poorly made—with gaps in the binding, weird creasing on the cover, uneven text on the page—I didn’t freak out. I was oddly calm and knew that somehow the universe was directing me to a new path, a better one. And I followed it, trusting that I would get my deposit back. If I didn’t, I knew something else would happen to make me whole.

This is absolutely not the way I moved through the world for most of my life. I could easily find myself in a tailspin of worry. In fact, my dad even bought me a “worry stone” when I was 13 years old. So I must’ve lived that way for as long as I can remember.

Noticing before reacting

It’s not to say that I don’t worry. But today I can usually notice when I worry, and I can question whether it’s reasonable, helpful or worth it. And I can more easily let it go. My tools? Breathwork, mindset shift, meditation, exercise, laughter, trust.

Can we all learn to hold on loosely to the things that happen in our lives? To trust that maybe when it doesn’t work out as planned, there’s a reason behind it, or at least a silver lining? (A Substack post perhaps, ha)

Perhaps we need to rest. We need to rethink our strategy or what we are trying to achieve. Perhaps we’re being called to rethink our reactive state and practice staying calm. Perhaps we need to choose a different direction that’s even better. Perhaps we are in fact being guided, and we need to lighten up. Let go. Trust.

When our plan goes off course, here are some questions to consider:

What are we to learn from these situations? How can we trust that we are fully being guided? That each experience in this life is a lesson and an opportunity to find more ease and joy?

I’m curious to know how you’ve responded or thought about experiences like these. Do you tend to get overwhelmed by disappointment or anger? Or do you quickly get past the negative feelings and open yourself up to new possibilities?

Comment below!

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If you missed my conversation with esteemed medium and spiritual teacher Suzanne Giesemann, I have this written Q&A for you to dive into her thoughts and wisdom.

About Suzanne: She built a twenty-year career as a Navy commander, rising to become aide to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff—until her pregnant stepdaughter, Susan, was tragically killed by lightning in 2006.

Seeing Susan’s lifeless body in the coffin sent Suzanne searching for her stepdaughter in the afterlife through meditation— ultimately taking her on a spiritual journey that unfolded a new purpose. She is now a well-known medium and has been named one of the most spiritually influential living people in the world, with millions of YouTube viewers, classes and retreats all over the world, 17 books and more.

Here’s a transcript of our chat:

Q: Tell us about the new book, Always Connected: How to Find Comfort, Clarity and Direction from the Spirit Within.

Suzanne: Always Connected just came through me. It had to be written and I didn’t see it coming. When I had brunch with the vice president of Hay House, I got to talking to her about this download I’d gotten in the middle of the night from Spirit. And she looked at me and said, put that in four sentences and I’ll write up a contract. This one actually flowed much easier than any of my previous books because there was nothing to plan. When it was time to write, Spirit would tell me, I would sit down and it would just explode almost in a spiral-like fashion. I would tell a story, then Spirit would give me a meditation, which would go back to the story I told.

Q: Was it harder to write it that way — channeling the words from Spirit — or easier?

Suzanne: It was definitely easier, and it was just one big wow. I started out with my common way of putting every note I had in my mind on a card, spreading them out on the bed, looking how it was going to be organized. And Spirit basically said, put those cards away, which was a shock. And so I set them off to the side, and eventually every note on the cards found its way into the book without having to ever go back to them. That’s the point of the book — to get people to know that anybody can do that, and to trust Spirit and to let it flow through everyone, through us.

Q: The book includes conversations between you and Spirit. Is that back-and-forth the way it’s supposed to go when people connect to Spirit?

Suzanne: I’d hesitate to say ‘supposed to,’ because then that puts us in a there’s-only-one-way-to-do-it mindset. I would say it’s one way, one wondrous way that it can go. I don’t have those — what I call in the book conversations with Joy — every day. That’s a different level of conversation than the daily messages I get from my guide, Sanaya. Joy is the wholeness of all expressions. It’s like the ultimate voice that I hear when I sit in meditation. Ultimately, there’s no voice, but it comes through in these conversations and it’s divine.

Q: Why do you call it Joy?

Suzanne: Because when there are no shoulds and have-tos and needs, no assumptions, no expectations, this underlying feeling is joy. It’s not even happiness. It’s just total contentment in being. And when we experience our wholeness, that is the highest aspect of joy. So that voice told me to call it Joy. It takes away all of the preconceived ideas about what God is. It makes consciousness more personal.

I’ll give you a really cool God wink. My stepdaughter, Susan, who died, was the impetus for all of my work. She came through to me one day and said, ‘It’s all of us, Susan. All of us — no matter what name you give us, we’re all that divine consciousness.’ One day I was shopping in Arizona and I found this purse in a gift shop, and the label on it shocked me. I bought the purse and framed the label: Joy Susan. That’s the brand name.

But Susan is joy. Jennifer is joy. Suzanne is joy. Anybody you dislike is joy. Anybody you love is joy. It’s all divine consciousness expressing as us.

Q: You say in the book that people should stop saying “Hey Siri” and start saying “Hey Spirit.”

Suzanne: Again, I will take out that word ‘should.’ That’s a human construct that makes us feel like there’s something we have to do. But if you turn first to Spirit before you turn to Siri or AI, the results will be deeper, more meaningful. That’s not to say that AI won’t give you very helpful guidance that may not come through your own filters, but the first go-to, optimally, is Spirit.

Q: How do people trust that voice of Spirit versus their own mind?

Suzanne: That is the theme of the new Hemi-Sync recording that’s coming out this week — it’s called Trusting the Connection. These are recordings that I made to help people bring the left and right hemispheres of their brain into a state of wholeness and balance. The left brain is dominant when we’re running around being very human, but the right brain is where we get that state of flow of Spirit. Hemi-Sync entrains your brain to that balanced state. I’ve used it for at least 15 years. The tones are like a training wheel for meditation.

When we move our awareness out of the head — we’re always thinking when we’re in the head — and into the heart, we’re in a more expanded state. But when we drop awareness down to the very center of our energetic field, the hara, the belly just below the navel, that’s where we can really feel our connection to both aspects of ourselves: the physical aspects grounded in the earth and the cosmic aspects that are beyond the body. To trust the connection, you move your awareness down and ask, how does this feel, what I’m sensing from Spirit? Does it feel grounded, or is it just kind of wispy and disappearing right away? You get in the habit of testing what you sense deeper from within, instead of going to the head and thinking about it.

Q: You also talk about how trying too hard can be the block that keeps you from connecting to Spirit.

Suzanne: Absolutely. When I was guided to write this book, we already had a list on my website of 25 possible prompts you could ask Spirit about. And I knew from Spirit they were going to give me an essay about all 25 of those. Well, I was ready to get that book done. So I would sit in the morning, look at the list, and say, okay, we’re going to get an essay about number five — and number six would not happen. It just doesn’t work that way. When you try, there’s nothing. It’s a cooperative engagement with Spirit. We need to actually get out of the way and just trust.

When I did that, every once in a while Joy would skip ahead and say, ‘And today we’re going to give you number 10. Here’s the subject. Take dictation.’ It would just flow. And then the next day, nothing. There would go a whole week, no essay. And that was okay. I trusted. So learning that you don’t always get what you want when you want it — but when you trust Spirit, things go even better. That’s the awakened way.

Q: When you were channeling these essays, were you writing them as you were getting the downloads?

Suzanne: Yes, I’m writing them. I have my iPad in my lap and I just keep my eyes relaxed, and I’ll look once in a while to make sure that it’s still typing. I’ve learned over the years to remain relaxed. I started out writing the messages from Spirit in cursive, which is actually more of a right-brain activity. Typing takes training to not go back to left brain — to just stay relaxed and hold that state.

Q: Is writing an effective way for other people to connect too, or is that just your unique way?

Suzanne: As I tune into Sanaya, they say it’s an excellent method because it holds your focus when you write. When you’re not writing, it’s very easy for a random thought to come in and take you off topic. But when you have that hand on a pen or on a keyboard, it holds the focus.

Q: For those who don’t know, who is Sanaya?

Suzanne: They came to me on my birthday, 16 years ago this last week. I said, who are you? And they said, we’re a collective consciousness of guides, and you will write and write and write as Sanaya. I looked it up, and it means ‘one worth knowing.’ It’s a group, but we’re all one worth knowing — the wholeness. Sanaya and I merge and become one, and I get to be their voice for a while, which is awesome. I learned later it’s also Arabic for ‘flash of lightning,’ which is how Susan was killed. So there’s a lot of meaning in that name.

Connecting with our guides makes life so much easier when we do so consciously. They’re always here. Your guides are always with you, but they’re so intimate to you, you may not realize it. So start engaging in conversation with them, trusting that what you’re hearing is truth. It’s going to sound like your own thoughts — but is it helpful? Is it healing? Thank them.

Q: How did writing this book change you?

Suzanne: It deepened the awareness of who we are as joy in expression. Every time we meditate on that, it becomes more and more of who we are. It’s a remembering instead of a learning. Even on a recent transcontinental flight, I was told, go back and read your book. Some challenges came up on that trip, and rereading that material had me able to navigate with ease. These concepts, when you get them from Spirit, feel so obvious because they’re coming from your higher self. But when you run around in a human body, you can easily forget them because we’re distracted by the outer world. So it changed me — it’s taken me to a deeper level of knowing. And yet we continue to appreciate reminders.

Q: You talk about annihilating the ego at the very beginning of the book. That seems like the biggest, most ongoing challenge. Talk to me about that.

Suzanne: There are two ways that we in human form experience life. Love in full expression is the base state — operating system one. That’s pure being. That’s joy before it even has the name Joy. That’s who all of us are, and we touch it in between every thought, every sensation, every feeling. Then everything else is operating system two, and we call those the overlays. Think of a transparency projector that’s just this light, and then the transparencies go on top of it. Some are opaque, some are transparent. All of that makes up the ego — your personality, your character traits, your experiences.

Ego is not necessarily bad. It’s our narrative. The question becomes: do the overlays block your light or reveal your light? Annihilating the ego does not mean killing it. To annihilate literally in Latin means return to nothing — no thing. The ego isn’t a thing. It’s a construct of ways of being that are piled on top of pure being, your purest state. The ego is necessary. But when it blocks your light, that’s when we want to annihilate it — return it to no thing. Acknowledge it, but don’t let it block our light.

Q: In that story of annihilating the ego, you experienced a message from Wayne Dyer, who passed in 2015. Tell that story.

Suzanne: The backstory is that he had come to my house in Florida for a reading, because I knew his sister-in-law who lived in the same community. I was still kind of a baby medium — maybe a teenager medium — at that time, probably 2011 or 2012. The reading was really pretty awesome, and he ended up endorsing two of my books, which was a real blessing.

When he passed, I wondered if he would come to me. He dropped in on me one day while we were rolling down the road in our RV. All of a sudden, here’s Wayne Dyer in his own voice. I said, ‘Wayne, how are you doing?’ And he said, ‘It’s awesome here, Suzanne. I’m sitting at the feet of the masters — but we’re all one, sitting in a circle.’ He showed me himself in a brown robe, soaking up wisdom from Lao Tzu and Buddha and all these people he’d written about. And he said, ‘I got most of it right.’

I said, all right, I need some evidence that this is really you. He told me a few things about his family that I could validate later. He told me that he passed in a high-rise from an infarct — which was great, because I didn’t know what an infarct was. I looked it up, and it means a sudden acute heart attack, and that is what happened. But then I saw a picture of his home in Hawaii and it was one story, and I knew he was at home when he passed. Turns out his one-story home was under construction and he was temporarily living up on a high floor in a condo. Even as evidential mediums, we put everything to the test.

Then a couple of years later, he dropped in on me in the middle of the night. My husband was out backpacking, so I was alone. I had been awakened by a panic attack — I hadn’t had panic attacks since my 30s. My guide said, just look at the fear. Just look at it. And it flowed right through me. That was part of the lesson I share in the book: everything is temporary. If you just look at your fears, they flow through you.

That’s when I was told to look up ‘annihilate’ — and in drops Wayne Dyer. I was trying to come up with a message for a talk coming up, and he said, ‘Your topic is going to be about courage. Look it up.’ So I picked up my iPad at three in the morning because Wayne Dyer said to, I looked up courage, and up pops this blog post. He said, ‘Look at the date on the blog post.’ I looked at the date and had this knowing that came from the belly: no way. It was the date of his death.

Then he said, ‘Get my last book and go to the last chapter and the last page.’ So I bought his last book on the spot on my iPad — it was called I Can See Clearly Now — went to the last chapter, the last page, and there he had put a poem by Rumi. The poem said: love has come, and it flows through my veins like blood. It has annihilated me and filled me with the beloved.

The ‘annihilated’ coming right on the heels of that fear that was given to me as a lesson created this whole story I tell in the book. It shows everybody what’s possible — that we all can train our nervous systems to have experiences like this in expanded states of consciousness. I was in that half-asleep, half-awake state where we’re more attuned, because we’re not in a constricted, human, should-have-to-need-to state.

Q: It sounds like a lot of things come to you in the middle of the night.

Suzanne: Oh, my gosh, yes. That’s why I sleep with a pad of paper beside the bed. My husband’s used to me rolling over and going scratch, scratch, scratch. But you can set boundaries. If I didn’t want that to happen, I would tell the guides, don’t wake me up then. But they just said, right now it is your best learning time.

Q: You’ve said you wanted to write a book when you were 12 but didn’t know what to write about.

Suzanne: I hadn’t had any life experiences, but that was my soul saying, just get ready, because you’re going to be doing some writing. When it’s in you, it just has to come out. And this is why we’re here. People say, why did God create us? That is a human construct, and the language limits us. Let’s reword that: why is Joy expressing itself as you? Why is the source of all that is expressing itself as you? Because this source, this divine intelligence, this field of love is pure potential as the base state. It’s so filled with that potential that it has to come out somehow. It has to come out like a writer just has to write that novel, like an artist has to paint. Source — Joy, consciousness, God — just had to bubble up and experience life. It’s love in full expression. And it does it through you and you and you and me. It’s all joy that wants to know how it feels to be unique.

Q: Is there one consistent block that keeps people from finding this truth?

Suzanne: I was asking the guides, because at first there are so many blocks. But it’s simply lack of shifting focus. Our focus is held on the objective world and on our fears and on our story, instead of widening the perception to there’s so much more. That’s the consistent block for all of us.

It’s been said — I believe Neale Donald Walsch said it most eloquently most recently — that the greatest problem facing humanity is a spiritual one. It’s not economic or political. It’s spiritual. It’s the fact that we believe we’re separate from each other. And that’s how it appears, so it’s me against you, and everything that follows from that. If we widen the lens and see through the eyes of the soul and know it’s all joy arising and playing in this one big web, then we couldn’t hurt each other. Widen the lens, and that gets rid of the number one block.

Q: Do you see a shift happening in the world?

Suzanne: It’s minute, really. Everybody’s talking about seeing it, but that’s because they’re awakening — the ones who are talking about it are the ones who are awakening. It’s small, but it’s progression. I just made a trip to Japan, and I looked around — this is a big world out here, and these cities are filled with millions of people. Do I see a change on that scale? No. But in our little bubble, absolutely, there are more people joining this lovely bubble of love. And that’s progress.

Q: How do you reconcile all the chaos happening in the world?

Suzanne: Chaos is normal. It’s a direct result of living in a world of duality, this contrast. And it’s through these chaotic contrasts that we have opportunities to grow and learn. When the chaos hits, if we can go to the base and say, there is a better way, then the chaos serves a purpose. It’s never going to go away in this earthly realm — when it goes away, the whole game is over. We’re invited to see the chaos as an opportunity, to acknowledge it and allow it. Because the moment we resist it and say, this can’t be happening, it’s horrible — we’re in human mode, and we’re not going to solve anything.

Q: You talked about divine timing — hitting writer’s block on this book while planning a retreat. How do you handle that?

Suzanne: There’s always something on the plate. I’ve learned from Spirit — I used to, and still to this point, get a little bit tense. But when we relax, return to base, and ask, what wants to arise from Joy right now? You’re guided to the next task, even if it’s not what you think has to get done, and everything gets done magically. But it’s not magic. It’s because we’re turning over our agenda, our schedule, our have-tos — trusting Spirit. It’s all come from Spirit anyway, so trust it to unfold the way it knows best.

The question each person can ask themselves is: am I suffering? Am I tense? Am I stressed? If you’re stressed and nervous and tense, you are fighting it.”

Q: Of all the essays you channeled from Joy — comfort and healing after loss, discovering life’s purpose, practicing gratitude — which was the most meaningful to you?

Suzanne: They did just flow, and they’re all equal, Spirit says. Forgiveness is one that is incredibly healing — that topic was big. But they really are all equal, and they’ll have meaning for everybody at a different time in their life. That’s a great book to just keep nearby and pick up every once in a while and read an essay anew. They’re not necessarily meant to be read in order. Sometimes we just need to immerse ourselves in a higher vibe. If you’re watching shoot-em-up TV all the time, or dramas and traumas — oh, is it refreshing and a relief to read words like those. It’s like a soak in a hot tub.

Q: You don’t just teach mediumship — you teach connection so people can reach their true potential.

Suzanne: The last three books from Hay House — The Awakened Way, Making the Afterlife Connection, and this one, Always Connected — are filled with practices so that the reader has the personal experience. That’s the main goal right there. This is not just about reading my experiences — you can have adventures in consciousness too. The goal is not just mediumship, which is a phenomenal outcome, but the path to knowing why that connection is possible. Because it’s all Spirit, and we are that.

Q: A lot of people find meditation overwhelming at first. How do you suggest people nurture this connection?

Suzanne: My dear friend Irene Vouvalides hesitated to even do my three-minute practice, the Sip of the Divine — sit in peace for three minutes — because she was afraid that these overwhelming waves of grief over the death of her daughter would come up every time she got quiet and sat still. And this is the challenge. We are these boiling cauldrons of dynamic energy, not all of it pleasant. The stuff we don’t want to feel, we shove down. When you sit in meditation, some of that comes to the surface.

But what you learn is, it’s just like that panic attack I talked about earlier: If you look at what comes up, instead of shoving it back down and resisting it, it goes poof and goes away — just like the clouds that every experience is. Everything’s just weather in the blue sky of consciousness. If you’re hesitant to meditate because it’s overwhelming, that’s because you’ve been working so hard to not feel. So what if you go with this playful attitude of, I wonder what cool things will happen if I’m willing to look at all of my stuff? Three minutes a day carries over throughout the day, and it accumulates, and you start to find yourself reacting differently.

Q: (From a viewer) I experience spirits coming through who have yet to be conceived. Can you speak to that?

Suzanne: What a blessing that is. I would engage them in a conversation. In my book The Awakened Way, I talk about the three E’s: educate yourself by learning all you can about the afterlife, experience these adventures in expanded states for yourself, and engage the spirits you sense. So I would say, hey, I can feel you. I know you know I feel you. Why are you here? Do you have a message for me or for anyone else? And just see how that flows — and test everything again in the hara. Am I making this up? No, I know this is a message. Then: what sign are you going to give me to validate this message? They love playing the sign game.

Q: What’s been your biggest aha in the last couple of years, since your last book, Wolf’s Message?

Suzanne: The hara teaching came after I had the agonizing pain of a herniated disc. It was three months of having to adjust my whole way of being because I was in so much pain. But I also know that everything’s an opportunity. I couldn’t even sit to meditate — I had to lie down and ask, what in that area where the pain is do I need to learn about? It drew me to the hara. Many people suffer from lower back pain and digestive disorders — it’s all in that area.

Wolf came to talk about balance and wholeness. I was still quite unbalanced as far as bringing in feminine energy — being that Navy commander, a lot of masculine energy here. But openness was the lesson I learned. The reason most people have issues there in the lower center is because we’re guarding ourselves. We don’t feel safe in these bodies. And that’s a reasonable thing when you know you could be hit by a car. You can’t control things. But emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, at the soul level, we are very, very safe.

I realized I had spent a lifetime of guarding with my body, tensing. My guides showed me several major traumatic moments and periods in my life that I was still guarding, and using breath work, I was able to release all of that. To this day, I just feel loose and open. The back is completely healed now. My guides said, we’ll give you little twinges every now and then just to remind you to stay on track, to stay open. The more we relax and say, I am safe — Spirit, guide me, I know that Spirit is here with me — that changes a lot.

Q: I often have that conversation — are you here? Yes. Am I good? Yes.

Suzanne: When we ask, are you here? the realization comes: they’re always here. The real question is, am I tuning into you? So you really need to ask yourself, am I connected? Because I know you’re here. It’s more like, we good? And they’ll say, are you? Am I paying attention? Am I connected? Because it is easy to get into that fight-or-flight state. Fight or flight puts everything into a state of constriction, versus coherence, which is open.

Q: Tell me about the retreat cruise you have coming up in three weeks.

Suzanne: This cruise will have 330 people. I get to do these cruises every year now — this one’s already fully booked, but there’s another one to Alaska next year. I never would have pictured myself leading these cruises, but oh my gosh — to get everybody away from their normal life and be in a fun atmosphere. We gather two hours, seven times during a nine-day cruise, and then we see each other around the ship. People see the lanyard that shows they’re part of the cruise group, and they just sit and have coffee with each other. We do excursions together.

The workshops themselves are powerful, with my guides leading the way. I remember having a massage on the last one, and the massage therapist said, oh, you’re part of that group — these people are so connected and so open. She said they talk to us, the crew, whereas most cruisers are just with their little group. The crew notices the difference. You get in the elevator and people will say, who are you people? You’re so loving. With Spirit’s help, we’re creating that community.

My live podcast every Sunday at noon Eastern has about a thousand people chatting on YouTube, and it’s all about love. If anybody says anything snarky because they’re new, people don’t jump on them with nastiness. They flood them with love, saying, you know, there’s another way to say that.

Q: Do you have any more books in you?

Suzanne: There is one, but it’s so deep in Spirit saying not right now. And I’m so relieved, because there’s no bandwidth left for a book right now. We want to let the other ones seep in.

But I want to share something really cool. My Awakened Way app — it’s free — has a whole new feature thanks to my developer, Jay Esch, called Gratitude Journal Plus. The best way to come into a coherent state to connect with Spirit is by engendering feelings of gratitude. I’ve often taught: get yourself a gratitude buddy. But maybe not everybody has a buddy. Now in the app, you can enter what you’re grateful for, and it has little incentives — a check mark on the date, how many times you’ve shared gratitude, your latest streak. The plus part is a little moment of inspiration with a prompt, like, where did you show kindness today? All private, not shared with anybody. There’s a blessings button where a little jar comes up — you shake the jar, and one of your old blessings comes at you. And there’s a garden button, where every time you give gratitude, eventually a little butterfly shows up in your garden, and ladybugs and flowers. It’s a way of inspiring us to raise our vibration and know we’re connected through this gratitude.

Q: You also took AI and had it go through all of your channeled messages and podcasts so people can ask questions on your website.

Suzanne: Some people immediately go to fear with AI — and I have a book that says AI is a tool, go to Spirit first. So this is a balance beam that we walk. This AI search capability, we call her Grace. Unlike other AI tools, this is only searching all the wisdom that’s come through Spirit, through me — all the books, transcripts of videos and classes, everything that’s come from Sanaya for over a decade. It only searches that, and answers in the voice like Sanaya would speak. We’ve tested it, and it’s very reliable. Go to SuzanneGiesemann.com/your-questions-answered.

The most important thing is, as you ask the questions, use that voice within — that Spirit within — to say, what is the best way to word my question? What is the question I most need to ask right now? That’s how you use AI cooperatively: by being guided from within what to ask. And when the answer comes back, discerning — does this feel like truth? Can I trust this? AI used blindly may be something we don’t want to use, but used with Spirit’s help, it’s a phenomenal tool.

That capability was donated by a group of philanthropists and beautiful spiritually minded people at a group called Awaken AI. Their people built it, and my assistant, Meredith, worked with them to upload all of the information. Nothing happens in isolation.

Q: There’s a great story at the end of the book about one of your assistants tuning in to find a lost package.

Suzanne: That’s how the book wrote itself. I thought the book was finished, and then here comes Melissa giving this perfect example of putting into practice exactly what the teaching in the book was — tuning in moment by moment, knowing you’re guided, and looking at the wondrous results when we do that. I said, Melissa, may I use this story to close out the book? Because it’s a gift from God.

Q: Any final message you want to leave people with?

Suzanne: I can see there are 10 people tuned in right now, and one of you just said, many thanks for this time with you. That’s why I do this. I’d love to reach 1,000 or 10,000 people in any one moment, but every one of you — whatever you learned, if it opened your heart, that’s going to change the way you react with the world today. It’s known as the butterfly effect, and it goes so far beyond anything we may realize. You might change somebody’s life today because you felt a little more love right now, and you’re going to go to the grocery store and touch somebody in a way you don’t realize. It’s never about the numbers. It’s about how can we be of service right here, right now, by saying yes.

Stop worrying about numbers and be present with who shows up and what shows up in your life right now. You change the world by changing yourself and radiating your love — one encounter, one moment at a time.

My eyes just fell on a candle that Meredith gave me for my birthday last week. She got it for me because of the message: be still and know. If we can just carve out moments of pausing to tune into that base, that pure state, that stillness throughout the day, the knowing what you need to do next just arises. You catch yourself thinking versus knowing.

Suzanne Giesemann is the author of 17 books and seven Hemi-Sync recordings, creator of the Awakened Way app, and host of the Always Connected podcast. Her new book is Always Connected: How to Find Comfort, Clarity and Direction from the Spirit Within.

Suzanne also offered a kind review of Tapped In, in which she is also featured:
“Jennifer has a way of making the unseen feel real and within reach. Tapped In is a wonderful collection of stories that draw you in with a visual style that makes the journey feel clear and inviting. You’ll come away knowing connection isn’t far off—it’s already here."

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*How she went from young mother and social worker to a professional medium

*Lessons learned along the way

*How she learned to connect to something greater than herself in that quiet wake-sleep state—and how you can do it too.

*This will be followed by a half-hour mediumship demonstration where Stacey will connect to your loved ones in spirit and bring through evidence of their lives and messages for you.

This event is FREE.

If you’re curious about how to nurture your own intuition or want to see how this mediumship thing works, then tune in for this special hour on Zoom.

Link is HERE!

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I wanted to share these exciting events you won’t want to miss!

A Conversation with medium Suzanne Giesemann

THIS Monday Aug. 10 at 10 a.m. MT/12 p.m. ET

A live Substack conversation with former Navy commander and internationally known medium and author, Suzanne Giesemann! Tune in to my Substack live and add to your calendar HERE. Send me your questions!

Small Group Mediumship Session & Sound Bath

This Tuesday Aug 11 at 6 p.m at Revolution Yoga in Avon, Colorado.

Don’t miss this intimate experience where I will connect with loved ones in spirit and bring through evidence of their lives and the messages you need to hear today. This is a group experience and not everyone is guaranteed a reading— but spirit divinely orchestrates the messages you’re meant to hear! This will be followed by a relaxing sound bath with sound healer Kayla Weber. This experience will fill your cup! Register HERE.

ZOOM Conversation and Mediumship Session with Medium Stacey Decea

This Wednesday Aug.12 at 5 p.m. MT/ 7 p.m. ET

Don’t miss this free online event with evidential medium Stacey Decea, who will talk about how she became a medium and how she learned to connect to something greater than herself in that quiet wake-sleep state—and how you can do it too. This will be followed by a half-hour mediumship demonstration where Stacey will connect to your loved ones in spirit and bring through evidence of their lives and messages for you. Register HERE!

September Akashic Records Training!

Zoom class September 1, 15, 22, 29 at 6 p.m. MT

In-person class in Eagle, Colorado Sept. 2, 14, 23 and 30 6 p.m. MT

Join me to learn how you can take steps to tap into a greater consciousness and that energetic space that holds information on your soul’s past, present and potential future. You can learn to access this space, the Akashic Records, through a meditation, prayer and then practicing with yourself and others. Come with your questions about your soul’s path, your life and what you truly need to know now.

Save your spot for the Zoom class HERE.

Save your spot for the in-person Eagle class HERE.

Download this FREE Guide to Tap In To Your Intuition & Something Greater Than Yourself

Download this free 14-week guide with small steps you can take to tune in to your intuition, your spirit guides and loved ones in spirit. These small steps just might bring you more peace, ease and flow in life. Get your guide HERE.

I’ll be back with more soon!

Hugs,

jennifer

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It’s perfect that I’m speaking with Suzanne now, because in just the past two weeks, it feels like clients, friends and mediums have brought up her name in almost every single conversation about mediumship, spiritual growth, and finding connection. She has become one of the most influential voices helping people awaken to their own connection with Spirit.

For good reason.

Suzanne’s achievement include:

• Landing on Watkins’ Mind Body & Spirit Magazine’s list of “100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People.”

• Authoring 17 books, six best-selling Hemi-Sync recordings and producing YouTube videos that have reached millions of viewers.

• Producing the Daily Way inspirational messages and the Awakened Way app and hosting the the top-ranking Always Connected podcast.

• Leading classes, workshops, and retreats and serving as faculty with The Shift Network and Humanity’s Team.

• Acting as a member of the Evolutionary Leaders Circle, a group of thought leaders from diverse disciplines working to support a global shift in consciousness.

Suzanne’s gift is that she makes that personal connection to Spirit feel accessible. Her own background helps: she wasn’t your typical spiritual type. She built a career as a left-brain Navy commander.

“There’s no doubt in my mind that my military background, not just in the military, but I mean serving at the very top of the U.S. military as aide to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs and now talking to dead people—that’s a hook, and people need a hook to pay attention.”

She set out on this spiritual awakening after her stepdaughter, Susan, was struck by lightning and killed in 2006. When Suzanne saw Susan’s body in the coffin, she knew that her stepdaughter wasn’t truly gone.

“I had an absolute epiphany and an undeniable knowing that there is this something that we now call a spirit or the soul that enlivens the body, because her body was so completely different from that vibrant young woman we knew and loved,” she says.

She wanted to find Susan in the afterlife, so she began meditating and exploring mediumship, spirituality and consciousness—and these experiences led her to a greater spiritual awakening that dramatically shifted how she perceived the world and beyond it. She now actively shares this wisdom, changing so many lives.

.

Now, I’m reading her book, Always Connected.

Wow. It’s a beautiful book with passages channeled directly from Source, or what she calls Joy. Suzanne has this special way of writing so that you feel as if she’s speaking directly to you, like a private conversation, where she shares her own experiences, reflecting on her own vulnerable moments and offering readers exercises to unlock their own connection to the spirit world. She says these conversations with Spirit can guide us to live with more flow throughout our own lives. I agree 1,000%.

Suzanne also shares new insights in my upcoming book, Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife.

And she’s been kind enough to offer an endorsement of the book too:

“Jennifer has a way of making the unseen feel real and within reach. Tapped In is a wonderful collection of stories that draw you in with a visual style that makes the journey feel clear and inviting. You’ll come away knowing connection isn’t far off—it’s already here.”

Like any journalist, I have lots of new questions for Suzanne about her journey, this book, and her connection. I think we can all learn from her experiences.

I hope you join me for this special conversation. If you can’t make the live event, you can still tune in for the replay.

Comment below with your questions for Suzanne— and I will try to pose them to her on Aug. 10! Then click the button below to add the event to your calendar!

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I often say I’m allergic to gurus.

Well, I don’t break out in hives thank goodness, but I’m visibly uncomfortable when I see people fawn over others as if they are special or all-knowing.

That’s why I picked ordinary people to dot the pages of my upcoming book, Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife. It’s stories of doctors, nurses, police detectives who had spiritual shifts and the wisdom they gained—lessons learned, advice, habits, and more. The idea: take what resonates with you. Leave the rest.

Despite my “allergy,” I still admire people. We learn from people. We can appreciate and really show gratitude for how they’ve changed our lives. They can inspire us and offer a new way of viewing the world.

But I have a problem with anyone who moves through the world as though they have special gifts or who stands up and tells you “the only way.”

This may be surprising considering I’m a Reiki healer and an evidential medium. I’m regularly giving messages to people from the other side. I’m feeling and moving lifeforce energy with my hands. And I’m writing this Substack with simple suggestions for how we can all be better, more connected humans.

But I don’t heal anyone. I just open the door. Each of us must do the work, find our own path.

Mediums are not necessarily “special” or “born that way.” We can all tap into something bigger, this greater consciousness. Because we’re all connected and drops of the divine. We get so caught up in our own separateness that we forget this truth.

You don’t have to be a medium to feel this connection, to live with more trust and flow.

I say mediums like me have a talent and a skillset that we’ve practiced and honed. Some people experience this intuitive awareness early on in life, and oftentimes I see a connection between that intuition and early childhood trauma or ungrounding experiences. I’ve taken a great interest in developing this ability, I’ve been called to do so, and I’ve put in the time to learn how to conduct readings and give Reiki energy.

I’ve also set an intention to learn and grow spiritually, and as a result, I’ve received information and guidance from Spirit, my guides, angels, however you choose to see it. But every single person has access to these spiritual connections.

No one path is the same. No one person has the answers.

Looking back, I’ve probably had this mindset for most of my life. A friend once asked me what famous person I’d most like to interview as a journalist. I remember thinking that regular people were just as interesting as anyone famous. Everyone has wisdom. Everyone has a story.

I’ve resisted dogma and rules, whether it be politics, religion, organizations, yoga subsets or spiritual healing. Wear this. Eat that. Don’t say this. Don’t believe that. We’re not allowed to... No one can do this... We don’t believe this....

I think it’s led to me listening with fascination to podcasts and TV shows about cult manipulation, most recently the Netflix series, Trust Me: The False Prophet. I dove so deeply into this fascination about this kind of spiritual manipulation that my upcoming novel, The Last Time I Knew You, features a cult leader.

I’m equally wary of the fawning over famous mediums on TV, the name-dropping in the mediumistic world and mindsets among healers when anyone says “I know, so you must listen.”

Medium Maria Goncalves, who is featured in my upcoming book, Tapped In, said she had one shaman tell her: “Choose your truth.” (Maria and I talk about this on her recent podcast.)

John Johnson, who is in Tapped In alongside Maria, has a similar mindset when it comes to mediums. “I don’t believe in gurus. I don’t believe in chosen ones... because as soon as I start to make somebody bigger, where am I putting myself?”

This is not to say we can’t be inspired by people around us. That we can’t learn from their experiences and wisdom. Every one of us is living life through a different lens, and the more we can open our awareness to others’ experiences, the better we can become. More understanding. More compassion. More connection. More flow.

This idea is behind so much of what I do and believe — and it’s why I wrote Tapped In. We can all get inspired by everyone’s story of connection, resilience, and transformation. Take what resonates. Leave the rest.

There is no one way. No one right path.

What is your path?

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He came up with the idea for the documentary shortly after his father died—and his mother fell apart.

“We did everything we thought we were supposed to do for [my mom]: support groups, grief counseling, religious services, all the conventional ways of dealing with loss, and all were terribly ineffective,” says Stephen.

Years earlier, Stephen had lost his good friend Jeffrey — and found comfort in talking to him nearly every day. So out of options, Stephen suggested that his mother try talking to his dad.

“I didn't ask that she believed in ghosts. I just wanted her to take a moment for herself to feel normal again, even if just for a little while,” he says.

She agreed and started talking to his father, and after a week she was sleeping through the night, her appetite returned, she began reaching out to friends and smiling again.

This ended when a grief counselor said that Stephen and his mother were “in denial.”

That prompted Stephen to propose a documentary film and posed the question:

Is talking to our dead loved ones good for us or bad for us?

Stephen explains that during the last century, the prevailing view was to cut ties with the dead and move on.

But recent research suggests the opposite.

Researchers at the University of North Texas reviewed 35 studies on after-death communication over the past 112 years—involving 50,000 people and 24 countries—and found that 75% of people actually report one or more communications from their deceased loved ones in the first year following death.

Life with Ghosts follows those North Texas researchers in a publicly funded study, documenting various people over a period of years—as they grieved and explored different ways of reconnecting with loved ones who have died.

The researchers ultimately found that harnessing this phenomenon can help resolve intense, isolating emotions of grief. They determined that continuing this bond actually fosters emotional healing and emotional integration for the bereaved.

One woman featured in Life with Ghosts learned to communicate with her deceased loved one through automatic writing—entering an altered state and writing to her loved one in spirit and receiving his messages back.

Another woman found deep healing after more than a decade of grief through “Induced After-Death Communication (IADC) therapy,” a specialized grief and trauma treatment that uses eye movements to place clients in a calm state where many report a vivid, comforting connection with a deceased loved one.

“Reestablishing contact with the dead is doctor-recommended,” says Stephen. “Go figure, right? By acknowledging the dead’s continued presence in our lives, we ward off and even reverse debilitating grief symptoms, allowing us to be more present in our lives with the living.”

Life with Ghosts also features interviews with mediums, pastors, scientists, and researchers and explores consciousness, mediumship, and grief. I especially appreciated the discussion about how our cultural beliefs—shaped by both science and religion—often influence how we interpret these experiences.

I see this in my work as a medium. Strict cultural beliefs and religious rules can prevent some people from even considering that these life-after-death connections are possible. They shut down or become wildly uncomfortable, rather than remaining open to possibility.

As a medium, I repeatedly see the magic and the healing that can come from connecting to loved ones in spirit. In my sessions with clients, I will feel, hear, see, and intuitively understand a deceased loved one and receive verifiable information that he or she does indeed still exist, only without a body. And clients typically tell me that afterwards, they feel lighter, supported, more joyful, and relieved. On my end, it’s nothing short of extraordinary. These experiences continue to show me over and over that without a doubt, consciousness continues after death—and connection is available to everyone with or without the help of a medium.

“If I can get people to know on some level that the world is much larger than they were taught to believe, I think that’s a good thing,” says writer and medium Paul Selig in the film.

I agree!

Florida medium and Reiki healer Julie Speetjens, who is featured in my book, Tapped In, always says she is “mystery grateful.” I like that term.

This mystery has actually been studied —and seriously, for a long time—including by researchers at the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research lab, Joseph Banks Rhine, who founded the parapsychology lab at Duke University, and Bruce Greyson, a skeptical psychiatrist out of the University of Virginia who studied near-death experiences.

One book, The Afterlife Experiments: Breakthrough Scientific Evidence of Life After Death by Gary Schwartz out of the University of Arizona, details a series of experiments on mediums (which ultimately led to a number of other similar experiments—including one featured in an HBO documentary.) The data showed that the mediums in the lab were accurate 85% or more of the time.

Life with Ghosts takes it one step further from a different research angle. I highly recommend watching it or tuning into Stephen’s podcast.

I’ll have the pleasure of speaking with Stephen again TONIGHT, Monday, July 6 at 6 p.m. MT/8 p.m. ET for his podcast, Life with Ghosts: Let’s Chat. (Replays are typically available afterwards, too)

I’ll make a brief appearance, but the main guest will be Sally Hawk, founder of VerySoul.com—and I’m genuinely excited.

Sally is another person featured in my upcoming book, Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife, and what makes her story so fascinating is that she spent years as a hard-driving corporate executive before becoming a medium.

And today, she’s building a platform that aims to bring greater credibility, transparency, empathy and trust to the field of mediumship—moving beyond the sketchy reputation of the psychic hotlines of the 1990s. (You can get a free reading from a verified medium like me on VerySoul with this code: TAPPEDIN.)

I hope you’ll tune in to hear the conversation.

Tune in to the podcast here.

Watch Life with Ghosts here.

Do you believe communication with deceased loved ones is possible? Comment below!

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Learn more and pe-order Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife

This week, I’m surrounded by wildfires. Two fires two hours away; another fire an hour southeast of me. And I’ve been watching from afar as the tiny mountain town of Beulah in Southern Colorado burns—the place I spent my childhood summers, where my great-grandmother built our family cabin so long ago. I’d play imaginary games in the trees and build swimming holes in the creek. And I’d ride horses with my sister and mom deep into the forest.

It’s heartbreaking to think it all may burn to the ground. Right now, pictures show it’s still standing.

But the whole West, as you know, is so dry. The wind is howling. And this may be what summer looks like in Colorado and the Western U.S. for the foreseeable future. No place is safe.

About three weeks ago, I drafted a Substack post about holding onto hope even in the face of what would appear the world falling apart at the seams. But something kept me from posting it then. Maybe it was a knowing that the world might literally be on fire around me, and I had to decide whether I was still hopeful.

In that unpublished post, I described some recent conversations with people who had the same conclusion about the world: Nothing’s going to change. It’s hopeless.

I get it. We’ve been watching the same movie on repeat: rich people getting richer through stealing, cheating, lying. No meaningful consequences. Poor people grinding through cycles of generational trauma with no ladder out. Protests that gain momentum and dissolve. People committing horrible crimes only to live their lives unscathed. Lawmakers who enrich themselves and do nothing to bring change. The planet is warming, while we argue about whether it’s warming.

I have felt that frustration for a long time: I spent years as a journalist believing that if we just exposed the right injustice loudly enough, if we just elected the right people, the systems would correct themselves. I remember writing article after article about CEO pay going stratospheric while board members—themselves CEOs—approved the packages with zero incentive to push back. I filed the stories. The stories ran. Nothing changed.

So I understand the despair. I just don’t share it anymore—even as the world literally burns.

I choose to remain hopeful. Because I believe that hope is the most powerful thing we can do. It literally changes the energy around us, and it changes humanity. It makes us look for the good and come together, even in the face of despair.

Seeing the good.

The other day, I saw photos from my brother-in-law’s game camera, showing that as of now, our family cabin is still standing. But what moved me the most was seeing these firefighters in the front lawn of the property with hoses at 9:30 p.m.—with a glow in the background. The firefighters were back again the next day and again captured on my brother-in-law’s camera.

Seeing these photos, I wanted to hug these strangers.

That is what I choose to see. The good in people. The courage in people. The people at the front lines who are organized, tough, smart and capable, and they’re risking everything to put out this fire—called the Aspen Acres fire, which has grown to 85,000-plus acres—the eighth largest in Colorado history. On Thursday, the Alaska incident management team took command of fire crews, and the National Guard was deployed, too.

This is just one of 41 large fires in the U.S. right now.

Then there is the other good in humanity: people are posting information online to help, comfort and come to the aid of friends and strangers who have suffered tremendous loss.

While the people at the top continue to ignore the devastating effects of climate change, cut funding for such disasters and create their own chaos and distraction, we can’t forget that there are good everyday people surrounding us.

And that’s what my earlier post said, and what I still believe: That change in the world begins inside each of us, not by looking up to our elected leaders.

Fear and anger divide us. Hopelessness exacerbates that division.

I recently had a conversation with Brian D. Smith—a grief coach who I feature in my book, Tapped In, and who found hope again after the death of his fifteen-year-old daughter.

He and I agreed the world is a mess—but we also see a shift to a higher consciousness may be around the corner.

“I do have hope, and I do know we’ve got so much technology, so much access to information,” he says. “We’re at the phase where we’re choosing. We’re figuring out what we don’t want. I think people are waking up... I think we’re on the verge of something good.”

So many people I interviewed for my book say the same thing. That we’re on the cusp of something, a shift, that we’re laying bare all the darkness before we can see the light. That people are waking up.

My nephew recently told me, quite emphatically (as he does), that he doesn’t see a shift happening. But he’s looking in different places than me.

I can’t tell you how many people I meet who are open to this sort of thing, when they might not have been years ago. There’s more goodness percolating, and it may take more time—and more of us—before it becomes an overwhelming force.

It begins when we begin to shift our attention to the good in our neighbors, our friends, our community, our families. In my case, to the firefighters who are risking their lives and the volunteers coordinating the firefighting and opening shelters.

It begins when we decide to look for and call out our similarities. And when we stop the shaming, the guilting, the judgment of each other. When we seek to understand and offer kindness to those who think differently, vote differently, grieve differently. Can we temper our anger with empathy when we meet someone who espouses hate? I’m making my own attempts to see them as someone who was hurt deeply themselves.

It begins when we look inside and begin to shift ourselves. I believe that the smallest act of genuine empathy, compassion and love creates a ripple. Not metaphorically. Literally. It changes the person who receives it. That person changes how they show up somewhere else.

I’ve sat with people in some dark moments of their grief and watched something shift—not because of anything I did, but because they touched something larger than themselves. A sense of being connected. Of mattering. Of being loved beyond what they could see.

We’ve been taught to look up for change. To wait for permission from the top, and hope they eventually see the light.

I say: look within and look for what you can control. Begin to trust that we are being guided and that we are connected. Look for the good in each other. The foundation of the world is we, the people. It’s in the everyday decisions we make. Whether we decide to extend grace or withhold it. Whether we judge or understand. Whether we trust or we fear.

This won’t put out our fires or stop the Earth from warming. Or save my family’s cabin. But I am hanging on to hope, trying to respond instead of react, and to be a single drop of change in an ocean of humanity. It’s the only thing I have control over right now.

Can you relate? Please share your stories of kindness and hope. Let’s make more ripples.

Donate HERE to the Southern Colorado United Way for wildfire relief and recovery.

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There’s a recurring question that comes up often with those curious about connecting with their deceased loved ones or spirit guides. That question is: How do I hear them?

I tell people to listen. And part of listening is quieting the mind.

Yet for some people, the idea of meditating is overwhelming. They think: “I don’t have time.” Or “My mind wanders.”

Of course, the goal of meditation is not necessarily to eliminate all thought. They naturally pop up during meditation, but the goal is to simply notice them and let them pass. Not to ruminate over them or try to control them. We simply return to the breath, to our meditation.

Yet still, meditation can be daunting. For those who want to get started without wholesale life changes or spending hours on a meditation pillow, I’ve got another baby step for you.

Step #1 was Breathe.

Breathwork calms your nervous system, and when your nervous system is quiet, you’re better able to connect.

Step #2 was Take a Walk in Silence.

No phones. No podcasts. Just listening to your breath, being with your body and your surroundings. This presence can be extended to everything around you. When you’re cutting a carrot— noticing the sound of the knife chopping, the feel of the carrot in your hand, the experience of being in this moment. Try this mindfulness in all areas of your life. While you’re driving. While you’re eating, sensing every single flavor and noting the texture, flavor and experience of eating.

Step # 3: Listen.

This could be in everyday life: When you’re having a conversation with someone, listen carefully and intently without distraction. Stop yourself from interrupting, judging, or criticizing. Don’t simply think of what you want to say in response.

› Try this teeny-tiny meditation:

Set a timer to close your eyes for just three minutes. Turn on peaceful music if you wish. Come to a seat, relax your shoulders, and take some deep cleansing breaths — in through your nose and out through your mouth. Sense your body on the ground or your seat. Look for another place to soften in your body.

Allow yourself to simply be, following the rise of your breath and noting the feel of the air moving in and out of your nose. If a thought comes, notice it, but let it go. Come back to your breath.

› Then simply ask your guides: What do I need to know today? The answer will come immediately. If it doesn’t come right away, don’t worry. Be patient.

Do the meditation again another time.

Learn to be still. To quiet the mind. To listen. To give your thinking mind space. And in that space, you will hear Spirit.

Medium Suzanne Giesemann introduced me and so many others to this simple practice. It’s called “SIP of the Divine.” This meditation is a beautiful place to start. Listen to it here.

Are you already tapped in? How is it going? Drop me a note below and let me know!

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A friend of mine recently told me she enjoyed my Substack posts and was fascinated by many of the concepts I lay out about dropping fear, distinguishing thoughts from the voice of Spirit, what happens after death, and signs from the Spirit world.

But she wanted tangible steps to find her own connection. To find a way to tap in more deeply.

Last week, I suggested a simple tool—calming your nervous system—that can help you create more space for that connection to Spirit and your higher self. We get so busy in life, with our to-do lists, and all the things we’re asked to respond to, that we often mutli-task. We talk on the phone while making dinner. We listen to the book while we drive to work. We text while on a Zoom call. We feel disengaged, empty, bored or depressed.

I’m going to show you some other ways to slow down your brain—baby steps—that will not only pave the way for a deeper connection to Spirit but they offer a moment of peace in a harried world. It’s a type of self care. Time for you to be with you.

This can be tough for some people who prefer to be in the state of movement versus stillness, being with their own thoughts, mind and body. But once you do this, you’ll start to uncover parts of yourself you didn’t know were there. And sometimes, even while uncomfortable, it’s always better on the other side of this healing.

Week #1 was 2 minutes of Breathwork.

Week #2 is Take a Walk in Silence

Take a walk and turn off the audiobook, the podcast, and the music. Decline the phone calls. Feel your feet on the ground. How does your body feel? Take in the sensation of air in your nose and what you’re seeing around you.

What does it smell like? What do you see? What do you hear?

› Notice — don’t judge any of it as good or bad. Find comfort in the silence.

› Notice the stars. The glint of sunshine through the leaves on the trees. Notice the grass or the cracks in the concrete. Find a pattern in a pile of rocks. If you’re in a city, you can wonder at the man-made: the rev of a lawnmower, the texture of paint on a car, the buzz of a neon light.

› This noticing helps you stay present. If your to-do list pops into your mind, or you’re lingering on a past or future conversation, let it go. How do you do that? Ask yourself where your feet are. They are here and now. Not in the past or future. Stay with your feet.

› After your walk, grab a pen and journal. Write down what you experienced, how you felt.

I’d love to know if you do this already or you’re just trying it. How does it feel?

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My book, Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife, is now on pre-order, and it offers inspiring stories and tools to tap in to your own spiritual journey.

I recently heard something from Suzanne Giesemann, a very wise medium, teacher and author, and it really stuck with me. She said: The only thing standing in the way of you and your spirit guides is your nervous system.

That was especially true for me. Years ago, I found that once I calmed my nervous system, once I got my anxiety under control, I could finally feel Spirit. I could finally begin to feel that lovely glow and support of the spirit world. I began to feel everything—contentment, joy, peace, presence—so much more so.

This may feel elusive when you get spun up in your day-to-day demands, as most of us do at times. And in these times, it would seem that calming the nervous system is an impossible feat. Meditation is a great tool for this, but I know many people who don’t believe they have time for it, or that it’s too daunting due to everything they’re juggling—their families, jobs, exercise, to-do lists, life.

Yet it doesn’t take monumental shifts to calm the nervous system. It can be one small thing at a time.

Over the next several posts, I will share small ways —baby steps—you take to carve out that head space for so you can tune in to your own intuition and the voice—and voices—of what you cannot see. My bet is that you will begin to feel far more guided and supported in life, and you’ll find more meaning and flow, too.

Here’s the first little baby step for you:

Week #1 Just breathe.

It sounds so simple right? We wouldn’t be alive if we didn’t do this automatically.

But oftentimes we don’t breathe enough when we’re stressed. You might stop and notice that you’ve been holding your breath or that your breathing is shallow. This is especially true when stress is high.

At rest, we actually only use 10% of our total lung capacity.

Yet our breath is really important for creating space for spiritual development. Physically, your breath has the power to calm your nervous system. Spiritually, your breath moves your life-force energy.

In my studies, I learned that we have what are known as koshas, or the five distinct veils or layers of consciousness that encase your true inner self. A very powerful layer is called the pranamaya kosha. This is your breath body. It’s whatever flows in your body: your breath, your blood, your sweat, your tears.

When you tap into this breath body, it offers a bridge between your physical body and your spiritual essence. In fact, in Hebrew, the word for breath is ruach, which also means spirit.

I learned about breathwork from my friend Rachel Glowacki. She is a yoga instructor with extensive training in breathwork, as well as a children’s movement educator and author of the amazing book, All Through the Crown, which teaches children about their energy.

Rachel spent most of her life experiencing anxiety until she discovered yoga—and breathwork.

She uses breathwork every single day. It’s perfect, she says, for highly sensitive people, who may have a thought that takes them directly into worry or fear. “That’s how I know I’m stressed. I hold my breath,” she says.

Breathwork calms and quiets the mind. It’s also bringing oxygen to all of our organs, creating a stronger diaphragm and healthier brain. Rachel says it also clears out the cobwebs of her mind to let her see more clearly.

“When I breathe in, I’m filling my lungs, but I’m filling my mind with the things that I want more of—love, abundance, peace or simply the emptiness of the sky,” she says. “And when I empty my lungs, I’m releasing the things that don’t deserve residency in my head. I’m cleaning house.”

Breathwork doesn’t necessarily require a lot of training or a lot of time. It can take just thirty seconds to two minutes if you choose. It can be done when you’re feeling overwhelmed or emotional, when your anxiety begins to spin inside your gut, or when your head throbs from too much to do.

You can do it anywhere, anytime. While you’re driving, or sitting in a meeting, when you lay down in bed at night.

Your breath can even be used to rev up your energy—with a loud “ha” and lifting your arms upward to the sky and then exhaling and swinging your arms down toward the ground.

You can dig deeper on the topic with the book, Breath by James Nestor.

Try this:

Step #1: Front-to-Back Breath. Take a deep breath filling your belly and lungs completely—so much so that your belly extends outward. Let it go with an open mouth. Do this for several rounds. Focus only on the breath.

Step #2: Side-to-Side Breath. Again, deeply inhale, this time filling your chest so much that you feel your ribcage expand sideways. Let it go. Do this for a few more breaths.

Step #3: Up-and-Down Breath. This time, inhale and imagine the air reaching all the way down to your tailbone and reaching all the way to the top of your head. The breath fills your entire body up and down. Let it go. Do this a few more times.

Step #4 Combine these breaths. For your next inhale, combine all three of these breaths together: Front-to-Back, Side-to-Side, Up-and-Down. Imagine taking in the air, filling your entire body up— so the air is 3D. You’re breathing through your entire torso. You’re filling you top to bottom, side-to-side and front-to-back.

Chances are, after a couple minutes, your nervous system will be calm. Whatever nagged at you will no longer be at the forefront of your mind. You can move forward with presence in your body.

And, you’ll be one step closer to providing space to connect with spirit.

Stay tuned: I’ve got more babysteps for you in my coming posts.

How do you calm your nervous system?

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Last year, I learned a new term: mortality salience.

It’s the state of being consciously aware of one’s own inevitable death. I’ve written about it before—about how the pandemic gave us a collective mortality salience event, one that influenced our thoughts, emotions and behaviors. And, some experts say it ultimately changed our brains.

University of Arizona researcher Jeffrey Greenberg found that when we reflect on mortality in a meaningful way, it can boost your motivation and a sense of purpose. Other researchers found that it heightens a feeling of having less time, shifting our priorities towards more meaningful goals.

The pandemic bore this out in a fascinating way. People who were already prosocial—helpful, cooperative, altruistic—became more so. They wanted to leave a legacy, be creative, do something bigger. They quit their jobs, moved to new countries, left cities for rural communities, and started their dream businesses.

People who were antisocial—hostile, prejudiced and aggressive—became more so, seeking out others who confirmed and amplified those fears, growing even more resistant to change.

Of course, there were some people who were both or oscillated between the two. It’s not clear-cut. But this shift ultimately led to the Great Resignation—when in 2021, millions of workers voluntarily and, en masse, resigned from their jobs.

The feeling continues to linger today with record-high burnout, loneliness and depression. I wrote variations of this same story as a business reporter for the last six years.

It did more than this…

Here’s my opinion: it also created a spiritual awakening.

One friend recently told me that in her former job as a corporate executive, she was so drained that she found herself fantasizing about getting in a car wreck just so she could rest.

That comment was a punch in the gut, and it stuck with me. The more people I talk to, the more I hear some version of the same sentiment: There’s got to be more to life than this.

I hear from people who have more psychic moments, who are drawn to the concepts of consciousness, mediumship, meditation and mindfulness—who are searching for a deeper connection to themselves and others and to something greater than themselves. An awareness long dormant has been awakened. A desire to live with more peace, more understanding, more purpose.

People want change and connection. They’re craving both.

As a spiritual medium, I’ve witnessed this interacting with dozens of people as I researched and wrote my new book, Tapped In. And I personally have felt it in my own life. There is more to life than what we see with the naked eye.

Everyone can experience this.

And most importantly, you don’t have to be a medium or a healer to access it. It’s a myth that only certain people have a “gift” to connect on a deeper, more spiritual level. We all have this potential. It’s about paying attention to how we’re feeling, what we notice around us. Listening to our intuition.

We can seek more meaning in your work. We can bring presence to relationships. We can spend time in silence, in nature, in meditation—and begin to notice that things feel brighter, that interactions carry more weight, that something larger is moving through your life if you let it.

The more of us who lean into this shift—this heart-centered way of moving through the world—the bigger the ripple we create together.

As for facing our inevitable death? That gets easier, too. When you’re living without regrets, when you feel held by something greater than what’s tangible right now—mortality stops being something to fear and starts being something to clarify everything.

What’s the one change you’ve been waiting for permission to make?

I think I’ve got what you need.

I’m going to be honest. The book I just finished writing —Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife—has so much of what people are seeking today. Here’s why I love it: it features a range of people, many just like you and me, and their stories that can help us reframe our own struggles, ease our own doubts and spark our own curiosity.

It offers beautiful guidance and wisdom that makes you stop and look at the world through a slightly different lens. And there are these jumping off points—practices, books and ideas that can spark your own inquiry, your own story and path.

For some, creating and discovering greater meaning happens in small ways over a longer period of time and others experience a more rapid transformation. There’s no right or wrong way, only your own journey.

I am obsessed with the idea of showing everyone there is so much more than we were taught to believe.

I haven’t gone wild promoting the book yet, but the pre-order is available if you want to get a copy. I believe we’re on the cusp of something new, something bigger. A new version of our society—a happier one—and a different way to think about life. I’m excited to be part of it.

I hope you join me. And as a reminder, I offer a free reading to any reader who supports this Substack with a paid annual membership. (upgrade below) That way you can experience firsthand what you read about here! I look forward to meeting you!

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I always find it interesting when a message appears to me over and over in my life. It often happens when I make a spirit connection with a client — a reoccurring theme will run through a handful of sessions over a week’s time.

Recently, I had four readings in a row in which a deceased person came through saying they didn’t express certain emotions or talk about what was important to them. They didn’t address key issues or speak up when they wished they had.

The stoic dad who focused on work for most of his waking hours and didn’t express his feelings or love for his children. The woman who was bullied at work for six years and never said anything about it. The woman who never told her friend how much she appreciated her attempts to save her from addiction. The brother who never took responsibility for acting selfishly.

Wow. We just don’t do this enough: speak our truth.

Usually I feel a tightness in my throat, like there’s something stuck there, and I know the deceased person, the spirit, is trying to tell me this message. The spirit person usually ends up saying what they wished they had said when they were alive.

Of course, some things are better left unsaid. As my sister once said, “Will it help? Or will it hurt?” At times we need to protect ourselves or someone else by not speaking up in a certain situation.

Among the deceased who I’ve connected with, the messages they want to share are positive. Message to help heal, to make life lighter or fuller for their loved one.

Voicing your interior thoughts could be important in everyday situations, too. Not long after that string of readings, I was on my way to meet a business acquaintance for coffee when I received an accidental text from her as I pulled up to the coffee shop. It said she was meeting with me, and she wished she had just said no because the meeting would “be a time suck.”

The message was supposed to go to a friend of hers.

Of course, I experienced the initial hurt feelings—before I realized that I, too, have felt the exact same way before. In other instances, I’ve booked too many things, I’ve said yes when I wished I would have said no, and I agreed to something that wasn’t time well spent. And I had regret and frustration that I hadn’t been honest with myself or with someone else.

And, like her, I once accidentally sent a text to the wrong person. I remember how it felt terrible. Now, this time, on the receiving end, I told her that I completely understood. Of course the “time suck” piece could be left unsaid, but I told her that sometimes Spirit makes those “accidents” happen so that we speak our truth finally and find our peace.

Others can offer a mirror.

Too often, we hide behind niceness. We tell white lies. We avoid. We don’t want to rock the boat. We are too proud to admit we’re wrong or to be vulnerable enough to share how we feel. We’re scared to compliment someone, believing somehow it diminishes our own light or power. Or we may try to bypass feeling altogether. We think that if we don’t say it, then we will no longer feel it and it will all just… go away. (It won’t.)

In other cases, we talk about someone instead of addressing the person directly or asking ourselves why we even feel the way we do— what it is about ourselves that is being triggered or causing us to show up in a particular way.

I would like to say I’m becoming more of an open book about my emotions and mind. I’m getting better at feeling into whether I speak up or keep quiet. I ask myself if what I’ll say or do is a full-body yes, or a full-body no— and I listen to what it feels like in my body. And I think you just know, too.

No regrets.

My hope is that after I die, I won’t need a medium to say things I regret not saying while living on this planet (although a good friend just jokingly told me that I’m surely going to show up all the time and tell people things every day.) But I’m going to do my best in this lifetime to apologize when I’m wrong, talk it out when things are misunderstood, to speak up when it helps, and always tell certain people that I love and appreciate them.

When we address our truth, when we listen to it, act on it, and we’re honest with others and ourselves, I believe we become freer. We find our peace. We find our connection. We find a greater ease.

What’s your truth? Are you sharing it?

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As a longtime journalist, I spent decades observing people and carefully listening to their stories in interviews. The rest of the time, I was zipping around in life, often lingering in the past or looking forward to the future. My mind was a treadmill of to-do lists.

It wasn’t until I started writing fiction just over a decade ago that I began to learn what it feels like to be fully present in my body and in my life. Not long after that, I learned that such presence aids in a spiritual connection too—bringing me closer to life, relationships, people, the Earth, gratitude, joy, intuition and the spirit world.

How do we slow down our thoughts?

How do we become more conscious, more available, more connected to ourselves, our lives and others?

Use all your senses.

Mediumship— or the practice of communicating with loved ones who have crossed over—definitely has a way of demanding presence within me. As does meditation, yoga or when I give Reiki, the Japanese energy therapy, to people.

Another way to find presence is to think like a novelist. Fiction writers aim to write with all of the senses, tuning into the interior thoughts of characters and the visceral experience of being inside a scene.

I remember how I started carefully listening to the sound of branches breaking beneath my feet on a hike, or tuning in to the physical sensations of emotions in my body. I’d study the vivid color and shape of a tea kettle or the indentation of the leather on a car steering wheel.

I’d notice the smell of a rain and fresh-cut hay and wonder about the relationship and life stories of two people sitting side by side, silent, at a bus stop.

I continued to do this while working on an upcoming suspense novel, The Last Time I Knew You)—but it’s also been transformative in my spiritual journey as a medium and healer and in finding a deeper sense of peace and gratitude in everyday life.

So what good does it do?

I found that it really helped me tune into my body. I could identify — and even stop brewing anxiety and the thoughts that came with it. I could empathize in a deeper way with others. I could be curious about their lived experiences, understanding that their world, thoughts and perceptions could be different than me.

I woke up to the world around me— taking in with awe the fact that someone in the world invented a product I was using and other people made it, packed it, and drove it to my house or the store. I was suddenly more aware of the complexity of nature around me, the bees on a flower or the sun dipping behind a cloud, and how everything worked just the way it was supposed to.

And I started noticing my intuition, my inner thoughts and feelings. And I started to tune into a frequency that was just outside the busyness of life, at first subtle and then louder. I started hearing, seeing and feeling more. I began to slow down and respond instead of react to life. Gratitude, awe and joy became easier to find and keep.

I am not always this way. It takes effort: I have lots of thoughts that zip across my mind. Squirrel. That’s normal.

But I’d say I’m getting far better at being in the moment, and I’ll try to set down my phone if someone starts talking to me or I try to sink into the environment of where I am in that moment in time.

Recently, I was writing at a Raleigh, North Carolina at restaurant while my husband finished up a business meeting. The waiter brought me my breakfast and set a steaming plate of sausage and hot coffee between me and my laptop. For one brief moment, I tried to type the rest of my sentence, to finish my thought, with my sleeves just centimeters above my plate of food.

Then I realized that was ridiculous. How could I not be distracted by the delicious scent and my growing hunger? I shut my computer, pushed it away and decided to just enjoy my food that was placed before me. No distractions.

Stopping right now.

I looked up and around the restaurant and was surprised that the room was full of jabbering people around me. I hadn’t even noticed them because I had been typing on my computer, completely lost in words.

I started to take in the scene around me: eight women, clad in floral dresses, bright pink lipstick, coiffed hair, sat around a circular table nearby, talking about —ironically— the number of women named Jennifer who they knew.

Above them, two flapping ceiling fans slowly came to a stop. The smell of bacon wafted in the air. My elbows ate into the table, and my coffee was warm in my hands.

A table away, a heavyset woman with hair like a bird’s nest gesticulated wildly about how this would happen and then that would happen while her friend sat across the table with folded hands, nodding silently. (Perhaps present? Perhaps not?) Another couple sat behind me eating without a word, and I could feel the tension brewing between them with side-eyed glances between bites of food.

I was suddenly there. In the restaurant. Present. Fully taking in the world around me, wondering who these people were, what they were discussing, what their lives were like. And then another thought occurred to me: we are all connected. While they are obviously different from me, we’re also the same. We are all souls put on this earth, living out our own paths, with similar emotions and experiences.

It was a moment of pure presence.

An invitation to look up.

Here’s an idea: Live life for a few minutes or an hour or two and just pretend you’re a novelist. What do you see? What do you feel? Take in the world around you with all your senses.

After you’ve read this post, I invite you to look up from your phone or computer now and look around. Tune in to your surroundings. Even if you’re alone, what is it you see? What is it you hear? How does your body feel or what do you notice or smell? Your senses can come alive when you allow them to, and you can feel into your aliveness, recognizing the small things that we often overlook in life.

Can you feel a sense of awe at simply being alive? Can you feel any connection outside of yourself?

A friend recently told me that he was at a basketball game and noticed two young teenagers sitting in front of him staring at their phones. One boy asked the other what the score of the game was—and his friend started scrolling on his phone to find the answer.

My friend tapped the kid on the shoulder and pointed to the scoreboard just above their heads.

The world is alive and communicating with us when we stop and look around. What happens if we stop and listen?

What helps you become more present?

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Many people have asked me this simple question: When is it Spirit in my head and when is it a thought?

It’s common to dismiss what seem like strange or out-of-the-blue thoughts that pop into our heads.

We often decide that it’s simply just our imagination, or that we’re tired, or sad or we come up with some other logical reason—instead of recognizing it as an intuitive knowing or a message from the spirit world, our angels, our spirit guides or our Creator. It can take a lot of practice before we start to truly trust that the thought is actually a spiritual knowing.

The more you trust those knowings, the more of them you receive. The more you receive, the more flow you find in life.

But how do you do this, exactly?

In my experience, if I ask a question and I get an immediate answer before I can finish the sentence, then that is Spirit. They are words that lift me up, versus the voice of doubt and discouragement, driven by insecurities and ego. Even before I started getting messages from the Spirit world, I did something that shifted me into that space of receiving: I started listening.

I grew up Presbyterian and had a positive experience in the church, feeling a sense of community and grounding in the ritual. Yet only a few times did I feel moved at church.

Listening and Receiving

It wasn’t until much later—twelve years ago—that I began to pause and listen when I prayed alone in my home. Instead of only expressing gratitude or asking for something, I remember how one night I paused and asked, “Are you there?”

The answer that came back that night was immediate, and it surprised me. “We are here.”

It wasn’t “I am here.” I, as in the man in the big chair in heaven. It was a collective. I didn’t know exactly what that meant, nor do I attempt to know exactly how the divine world works today. But that began to shift how I viewed the spirit world, and I began to listen more often. What do I need to know? Am I okay?

Eventually, I began to feel full body chills with those answers— another clue that I now recognize during mediumship readings and Reiki to be the feeling of Spirit running through my body.

I remember one of the first times I felt the power of Spirit physically rushing through me. It was 26 years ago, and I was pregnant with my first son. I was sitting on my bedroom floor sobbing uncontrollably: Many things had happened in my marriage to my ex-husband that had sent me to this destroyed place in my heart. This relationship was tremendously difficult and had caused me so much pain, and I remember hyperventilating and crying uncontrollably when I asked for my Creator, angels, whoever to help me.

My entire body immediately stilled, and the crying stopped. I felt an energetic hug around me, and these words fell out of my mouth: “I married the wrong person.”

Up until then, I had been in denial that the marriage couldn’t be salvaged. I would never have dared admit that fact. But suddenly, in that moment, I knew I would be okay on my own; that I could raise my son alone.

And I did go on to do that before reconnecting with and marrying my first love, Kevin. (And I later realized the power of forgiveness and found that my ex and I could be good friends, and that he would have his own relationship with our son.)

No one way to get there.

It took me a long time, though, before that window into that world of the divine broke wide open for me, and I could hear that voice in an instant, at any time.

You may not be a person who prays, and that’s totally fine. Not even necessary. You can find that voice in meditation or in those quiet moments where you’re completely honest with yourself, where you let that loving voice talk to you.

But what about hearing from dead people?

If you’re trying to distinguish between your thoughts and the presence or voice of a deceased loved one, it’s a similar thing. My experience is they always come to you in love —in a flash of memory that’s completely unprompted, or perhaps in a scent, or in a meditation or a dream. Sometimes it’s a voice in your mind’s eye. Or maybe it’s a voice outside your body. Your spirit people won’t come here to haunt you or tell you horrible things. They want you to know you’re supported and loved.

Trust the feeling. Get curious. Believe it for just a moment. If you suddenly question if it’s them, it probably is.

Take that leap of faith and talk to them in your head. Ask them questions. See what they show you, see what they want to say. You may not hear anything at first, but continue to do so, and you may find you start to hear better.

Have a conversation in your mind.

That’s what I did the first time my deceased mother-in-law, Sylvia, came to me one night six years ago. In fact, that experienced launched me down this path. I had a conversation in my head with her— and she shared specific things that provided me evidence I wouldn’t have otherwise known. I had to get brave and have her daughter confirm those details in order to know it was real.

And it still happens. Recently I was meditating and felt the presence of a family member who had passed away, and I heard her scratchy voice. I could have ignored it as something in my imagination, but I engaged with her in my mind, and asked her what she wanted to say. She had a message for her daughter—and it was well timed because I later learned that the day prior marked the eighth anniversary of her death, and her daughter happened to be struggling and terribly missing her mom.

They’re here if you listen: your Creator, angels, guides, loved ones in spirit. They’re all there. You only have to trust in their love—and allow yourself to be inspired by them.

What are your experiences? Do you trust them? Or do you struggle to do so?

My upcoming book, Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection & the Afterlife, goes further in exploring topics like this. It’s now available for pre-order.

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Last week, the astronauts aboard Artemis II reached the moon for the first time since 1972. They described the deeply moving experience of seeing the Earth and the moon from space—including a crescent Earth rising and setting over the moon. They noted taking in the beauty and fragility of Earth, with its lack of visible borders and thin atmosphere.

“It was an extraordinary human experience,” said Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen.

That kind of emotional reaction is common among astronauts—dating back to the Apollo 11 crew of Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins, who first walked on the moon in 1969. In fact, Collins wrote in his autobiography that “I really believe that if the political leaders of the world could see their planet from a distance of ... 100,000 miles, their outlook would be fundamentally changed.”

It’s called the “overview effect.” It’s a profound cognitive shift in awareness— a sudden, intense feeling of awe, a sense of unity. I wrote about this several years ago for a trends report about climate change, and it always stuck with me.

I remember thinking back then, if only all of us could go to space and have that overview effect. Yet in the past few years, I’ve found that same sort of awe here on Earth.

My own version of the overview effect

The closest thing I’ve experienced to the overview effect is in my own mind’s eye, when I’m reading the Akashic Records for myself or others. This is the practice of moving into a higher energetic headspace to experience and understand the past, present and potential future of a person’s soul and hear from someone’s spirit guides, the Creator and higher self. It’s an intuitive reading.

I get into this headspace with a specific meditation that shifts me away from this physical plane so that in my mind’s eye, I’m literally in space looking back at Earth. I pull away from the noise of the world, from the chaos and pain and worries here, so I can tune in to the voice and truth of spirit. It’s always awe-inspiring to me.

I invite you to find your own overview effect

We can all find our own reminder of just how beautiful this life is. For starters, it’s the reminder that it’s simply a miracle that you and I are here alive right now, breathing. That we’re all connected and here for a reason.

You create your overview effect when you:

• Pause to look out the window of an airplane and take in with awe the Earth below.

• Stop for a moment and experience transcendence in the sight of a rainbow rather than simply something that happens when sunlight refracts through raindrops.

• Feel the miracle of witnessing another sunset or another sunrise.

• Allow the momentary awe when you hear the laughter of your kids, when you’ve grown a perfect tomato, when you kiss your partner goodnight or when you wake up to snow on the ground.

We can pick our own overview effect. Or we can choose to change how we view the small miracles that life presents to us— and then pause and perceive them through a cosmic lens.

A simple way to remind ourselves of the fragility and glory of being alive is to simply feel your feet on the ground or floor, and imagine our breath moving in and out of the bottoms of our feet.

Remember you’re here for a reason, along with that person you saw in line at the grocery store or the colleague you met on Zoom or that guy who honked at you in traffic.

It’s a reminder that we all matter. That this earth, this life, and every soul here matter. No path is the same. We’re all here to learn, to grow, to discover, to go within to connect with the bigger world around us.

What is your overview effect?

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I hadn’t spent much time thinking about death until I started doing research for my upcoming book, Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife.

When I tell people about my book, they’re often most intrigued about the near-death experiences. People tend to have a natural curiosity to know what death is like. Is there anything after death? Are people we love who die really okay? Will I be okay after I die?

While I have not personally experienced death, I interviewed more than three dozen people for my book, and many of them were near-death experiencers who have come back to this world profoundly changed from who they were before they died.

What exactly is a near-death experience?

A near-death experience, or NDE, is a profoundly spiritual experience of touching the other side—people might be nearing death, very ill and about to die, or sometimes you’re clinically dead.

It’s something that people have shared for hundreds of years. In fact, several paintings depict pictures of dying – similar to the accounts of near-death experiences. Bosch’s 16th century painting, Ascent of the Blessed, shows angels guiding people to heaven. William Blakes’ 19th century painting, Jacob’s Dream, includes angels ushering people up a staircase leading to the heavens. Plato wrote about the afterlife in the 400s BC, but it wasn’t until 1889 that the phenomenon showed up in medical literature.

Ascent of the Blessed is a Hieronymus Bosch painting created between 1505 and 1515.

No one NDE is the same

They are all different, but many share similarities, according to author PMH Atwater, author of the Big Book of Near-Death Experiences. Some of those she lists in her book include:

• Experiences that often cannot be adequately expressed or described with words

• Hearing yourself pronounced dead

• Feelings of peace and love

• Seeing a tunnel

• Seeing a very bright light

• Sensing a border or limit to where you can go

• Experiencing angels or angelic beings around you

• A big picture view of life

• Coming back into your body

• Frustrating attempts to tell others about what happened to you

Other NDErs report have receiving infinite knowledge, the sensation that time is slowing and the understanding of unity and oneness.

A few things I’ve learned about NDEs and what’s ahead:

1. It’s often difficult for NDErs to talk about their experiences.

Some people may take months or years before they tell anyone about what happened to them. Oftentimes, they don’t have the words to accurately describe what they’ve gone through, and they may feel people won’t believe them.

Integration, or the long-term process of incorporating NDE experiences and insights, can take years. Many people find it difficult to live in the same world with a completely different, transcendent point of view.

2. You don’t have to be clinically dead to have such an experience.

Some people are dead, while others are dying or close to death when they have these experiences. One woman I interviewed talked about drowning and swimming to shore in an icy lake after a plane crash when she had her NDE; she saw herself from above in what she describes as a split screen. Her body was moving but her soul was in a different place.

I interviewed a couple of people who were deathly ill — and they reported very similar spiritual experiences that shifted their entire lives and how they moved forward. They reported angelic beings and becoming balls of light. They were filled with profound feelings of love and peace.

3. Life reviews are common among NDEs.

Another frequent occurrence in an NDE is something called a life review, or a profound, panoramic replay of that person’s life, where they instantly re-experience past events, actions, and thoughts.

Bruce Greyson, a well-known researcher of NDEs out of the University of Virginia, found that more than 700 people among the thousands of NDEs he examined reported life reviews. This could happen during an NDE in a short 10-minute cardiac arrest. Sometimes it’s referred to as the spatialization of time. That is, time becomes more like a spatial dimension that you can explore along, forwards and backwards. They often talk about it happening all at once.

4. Your life review isn’t just about you.

Three-quarters of these people felt that the life events they revisited were experienced from the perspective of everyone involved.

I heard one account of a man who experienced near-death as an adult, but during that time, revisited a moment when he was a child and nearly drowned. He was able to revisit that moment in time and freeze the moment so that he could even count the mosquitos in the air. And he could feel the emotions of the people around him during that moment—including those of his frantic mother.

5. Some people report having 360-degree sight in an NDE that is unlike anything we can experience on Earth.

Last year at a Vail Symposium event in Colorado, Dr. Jeffrey Long, the author of the book Evidence of the Afterlife, told the story of a woman, Vikki, who was born blind. She’d never seen anything the way the rest of us do.

Yet when she had her NDE, she saw herself from above and could describe what she looked like, including describing a ring she wore that she only recognized by feel and touch prior to that. She described the faces of people working on her, movements happening around her, the layout of the scene, descriptions of equipment she’d never seen before, and the difference between light and darkness. She reported being able to see up, down, sideways simultaneously, unlike anything we see visually today.

7. Science is coming around to the idea that NDEs are not just dreams.

Science shows these are not hallucinations and that that consciousness does not live in the brain. Studies examined NDEs during cardiac arrest, where a person’s heart literally stops for a period of time. There should be no brain activity at this point, yet people who have these NDEs report in detail what was happening around them at the time, as well as having profound spiritual transformations.

Scientists also looked at NDEs that happened when people were under anesthesia. As you may know, when given general anesthesia, you’re out in a matter of seconds. You often cannot count to 10 before you lose consciousness. So you have no recall or memory of anything that was happening while you were under. Yet some people who have NDEs on the operating table under general anesthesia shared later in detail what was happening in the room at the time of their death.

Dr. Long studied about 287 of these out of body observations, and he found that 98% of the time, what they were seeing, what they were hearing, ongoing early events, were absolutely realistic, with no hallucinatory content at all. These people made observations from blocks away, as well. Observations that were independently verified.

8. There’s something called a “shared death experience.”

When writing this book I learned that there’s something called “shared death experiences,” or stories of someone living having a spiritual experience of walking a dying person to the other side. The Shared Crossing Project is one organization that collects data and offers resources on this phenomenon.

In one instance, a woman said she was meditating when she became aware of a friend of a friend who was dying. She had a conversation in her meditation and walked her over to the other side. The next morning, she learned that the woman had indeed passed away at the exact time she was meditating.

At the Vail Symposium, Dr. Jeffrey Driscoll, an ER doctor and author Not Yet: Near-Life Experiences & Lessons Learned, shared stories of his own shared death experiences. One time, he had arrived at work and logged onto his computer when he instantly became aware of a presence over his shoulder. That presence was “the consciousness of a teen around the corner in the resuscitation bay.”

The girl was intubated and receiving chest compressions, but her spirit asked him for help. He walked around the corner and in the midst of the frenzy, gently placed a hand on her leg, understanding by then that touch was so important in such situations. She silently asked him if she could leave.

“I wondered why she would ask me this question, but at the same moment, it seemed as if the words came from some eternal place. I silently communicated back, ‘If you think it’s time to go and you think that’s the right thing to do, then I think it’s probably all right for you to go.’ ”

That moment, she rose up and out of her body and stood in the air above the gurney. She “just radiated this glory and this love and this light and thanked me for what I’d done,” he said.

He left the room and heard the doctor pronounce her death in military time. “I thought, ‘I know, I just saw her leave.’”

Driscoll also shared the story of his friend Jeff Olsen, who was in a horrific car accident and had risen above the accident with his deceased wife. She said, “No, you have to go back and raise our kids.” He did. He survived, raised his kids and authored the book, Beyond Mile Marker 80: Choosing Joy After Tragic Loss.

During that experience, Olsen also had his own life review and an encounter with a divine being.

Driscoll told Olsen’s story on stage last year: “He was worried about the things he’d done wrong, and would he be forgiven. And he was told there’s nothing to forgive. Everything is in divine order.

The only question he was asked during this elaborate experience was, ‘to what degree did you learn to love?’”

The lessons we can learn.

This is the nut of my book, Tapped In. All of the people I interviewed were profoundly changed by their experiences, and I believe you and I can learn from them.

It’s fascinating to hear about their NDE stories, yes, but ... what matters most for them — and I believe for all of us — is how they’ve changed, what they changed, what they have learned, and how they live their lives differently.

We can embody these lessons in our lives— without going through the ordeal of dying— and we can take comfort in what they’ve uncovered.

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If you believe that you have received a message from someone who has died, you’re not alone.

A third of people surveyed by Pew Research Center in 2023 said they had a strong feeling that someone who passed away had communicated with them from beyond. Add to that: one in three personally encountered a spirit or unseen spiritual force.

In my work, I’ve learned that people on the other side desperately want to connect with you. And I’ve also seen how signs from the spirit world can be transformative when we’re grieving the loss of a loved one or feeling an emptiness left by someone’s passing.

This message must be in the zeitgeist.

My friend recently started a spiritual book club in our town, and one of the most popular titles people were reading was Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe, by Laura Lynn Jackson. “It’s a book whose time has come,” my friend said the other day.

Yet some people don’t accept signs from the spirit world very easily. They don’t look at a feather or a penny and think, “Hey, that’s Aunt Margaret.” They seek big, demonstrative shifts that can’t be explained away.

It brings me joy to see small coincidences as spirit connections. But I also receive obvious signs that are undeniable and inexplicable in any other way.

Tinkerbell energy

I remember doing a reading a few years ago with my friend Kerri, when her daughter, Mikaela came through in the reading. Mikaela was 21 at the time of her death and she shines equally bright as a spirit—bright, quirky and joyful. I’ve seen her dancing in readings.

In this reading, Mikaela in spirit told me that her mom, Kerri, was finally redecorating her Mikaela’s room years after her passing. Yet still, the reading told me that Kerri felt guilty about getting rid of things like an Ikea dresser. Kerri confirmed this information as true.

I could see Mikaela hovering over Kerri’s shoulder, directing her where to put what in the room.

Kerri and I agreed that Mikaela had “Tinkerbell energy.”

The next morning, a friend came to visit me at our new house we had just finished building. Our driveway had just been paved the night before. No one had driven on it until that friend came over that morning.

She gets out of the car, reaches down to pick up something off the pavement and brings it to me. I look at it. It’s a little silver charm.

Of a tiny Tinkerbell.

What?!

I was blown away. I took a photo of it and shared it with Kerri. She was driving, and the car in front of her had a Tinkerbell bumper sticker.

Mikaela really was there. She really was right there with us.

Turns out, Mikaela is well known for giving her mother signs. In my book, Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife, Kerri tells about the signs that her daughter offered during a time of deep grief, and how transformative they were and how they created breadcrumbs for finding meaning after her death.

It can be so healing to open up the tiniest possibility in your mind that your loved one might be there sending a message to you.

Talk to your people.

This is another thing I have learned in communicating with the dead over the last several years: They hear you.

So many times when I’m doing a mediumistic reading with a client, a deceased person will share with me that he or she hears when someone living has been talking to them. Perhaps it was a moment earlier in the day or a few days earlier, but a spirit person will tell me what the living person said, they tell me where they said it, and they will often tell me how happy they are to have that connection. It’s evidence that I would not otherwise know, reinforcing my belief that they’re trying to communicate with you.

Imagine being without a body or a voice and trying so hard to get through to the people you love to share your everlasting love and let them know that you’re there watching and supporting them when they need it.

I encourage you to just talk to your people. They are listening when you need them. Use their energy to power you forward, to fill that void, to remember that their love and connection is still there. It’s truly everlasting.

One medium I interviewed for my book, Claudia Milligan, advises people to write letters to their loved ones in spirit and then …. allow them to use your hand to write back. In my book, she shares the process for doing this.

Take a leap of faith.

If you lost someone you love, I invite you to take a leap of faith. Just for a day, accept a sign as just that. A sign that your loved one in spirit wants to talk to you. Or perhaps accept a nudge they are giving you to do something important.

Be willing to receive their guidance. When your person pops into your head, consider that maybe they put themselves there in your head. Trust it. This is the first step to having a relationship with the spirit world and beginning to trust that you’re held even when you feel alone.

PS: A big thank you to my kid Brendan for taking the photo of the sign at the top of this post and to my friend CJ Barrlett for painting it for me. 💕

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The world is spinning out of control, and it’s hard not to be freaking out about it.

But there’s one truth that keeps coming up for me this week: We have control over our own inner world and our own wellbeing. We have control over what we give our attention to and where we put our energy.

I’m not saying that we should bury our heads in the sand about the state of the world. But we don’t need to swim in it all day.

Can we be more present and aware of how far-flung people and decision-making invade our peace and stress our nervous system?

Can we decide that the chaos and divisiveness will not join us on a beautiful hike in nature or on a walk around the block?

Can we decide that negative news will no longer cloud the start of our day or be the last thing we look at each night?

Can we be more present with each other and focus on the peace and joy of each moment?

This post is not here to judge anyone or minimize the experiences of people around the world who are suffering. And this is not to minimize anything you personally may be dealing with. I have no idea what your personal stress level is and what life may be throwing at you in this moment in time. Your load may be massive.

When I’m spinning, I fully resist shifting my mindset out of it. Sometimes you just need to sit in those emotions and experience them.

But over time, I began stepping out of it and began focusing on my ripple in the world. I learned I could change myself, heal myself and live my life with more love, kindness, gratitude and compassion. I could have authentic and deep interactions that matter. I could stay in the present moment and focus on what I could control. That’s my ripple.

Most of the people I’ve interviewed for my upcoming book, Tapped In: 31 Stories That Will Change How You Think About Intuition, Connection and the Afterlife have similar tactics for peace and connection. They know and understand that we are all one, and the more we hate, the more we worry, the more we live in the future or the past, the more we divide and the more we “other” people, the worse we feel. The less connected to Spirit we are. The less in flow with the universe we live.

I try to go back the idea that I do have control over where I place my focus. I am in charge of my own wellbeing.

Here are some of my core beliefs that guide me today:

• I have control over whether I act with empathy, kindness and compassion.

• I have control whether I seek to understand others or I seek to control and judge and hate others.

• I can decide if I seek out hope, joy and love or if I dwell on the bad, the anger and the fear.

• I can decide whether to embrace gratitude and remember that I am not my thoughts, or I can stay in a pattern of unhappiness, stress and limiting beliefs.

• My energy matters. My mindset matters.

I saw this quote more than a decade ago, and while it has been attributed to many people the wisdom is powerful to me personally:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Remember that our breath is a great place to start. It is a tool that is always with us wherever we may be. It can help calm our nervous system, bring us back to the present moment, allow us to be in our bodies, and allow us to connect to something greater than ourselves.

Take a deep breath, fill your body with oxygen, fill yourself from tailbone to crown, fill your belly and lungs fully. Release it completely, letting go of all that you cannot control.

Do it again. And again and again and again.

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