I’ve had a lifelong love affair with new beginnings: Mondays, the first of the month (even better when those are combined), a new season, a new project, a new year, etc. Maybe it comes with the territory of being a Scorpio, but I’m a big fan of transitions and transformations.

The unknown holds so much potential.

Along with an ever so sliiiightly cooler morning breeze, there’s the promise of a fresh start lingering in the air. Do you feel it too?

As one season comes to an end and a new one slowly approaches, September carries the air of transformation. Being someone who looks for symbolism in just about everything, I find it satisfying that it is also the ninth month of the year.

Nine is a sacred number symbolizing completion, transitions, and unity. There are nine muses in Greek mythology. Dante’s Inferno has nine circles of hell. You’ll find nine beatitudes in the Bible. In Indian astrology, Navagraha means nine celestial bodies. Cats are said to have nine lives. And we’re in the womb for nine months. I can think of nothing more transformative than death and birth.

Or it might just be because we’re entering a seasonal shift where light and dark will once again be in balance. Maybe it’s due to decades of back-to-school conditioning. Whatever the reason, I look forward to the newfound energy and routine September brings.

As a woman who has a variety of interests and often finds herself in between strong feelings of ambition and a desire to enjoy the present, I want to make sure I’m making the most of this season. I plan to make big moves in business, and I’ll also spend a week at the beach with my family. I’ll aim for consistent early-morning workouts, and I have some fun evenings planned that are sure to run late into the night. I’m excited for all of it.

My goal is to treat September like a big experiment. I want to challenge my own narrative, play with different character traits, and try on new routines. I want to see what’s possible when I spend 30 days showing up for myself and taking my desires seriously.

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If that sounds exciting to you, I invite you to join me and enter September with energy and intention. I recommend starting with a few deep questions, as change always requires intrinsic motivation and a strong connection to values. These journal prompts are designed to open your mind and heart to what’s meaningful and possible for you this month.

Grab your journal and dive in:

1. Who do you want to be this month?
   Identity predicts actions. That’s why I love starting here. It’s easy to get bogged down with who our “higher” self is, but our personalities are malleable. Instead of who you need or want to be for the rest of your life, what identity traits would you like to try out this month? How would you want someone you admire to describe you?

2. How do you want to feel on an average day?
   Think about how you want to feel physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

3. What are 3 outcomes you’d like to see by the end of September?
   Be specific and then hold these outcomes loosely. Think about this like: “It would be so cool if I experienced this one specific outcome in my business, one outcome in my health, and one outcome with a personal project I’m working on.”

4. What’s the easiest form of action you can take to get those outcomes? The boldest form of action?
   What’s the bare minimum you can do to embody this version of yourself? What does doing the most look like? The goal here is to have a range for yourself so you can do this consistently. Some days you may be full of motivation and energy. Others you might be drained. Most will likely be in between. We want to understand the scale so you can still show up in a way that honors you today and the future you want for yourself.

5. What rituals, systems, and/or routines do you need to put in place to support those actions?
   For instance, if meditating helps you feel calm and regulated each day, what nighttime or morning ritual will help you fit that in? Stack it on top of something you are already in the habit of doing. What do you need to do in order to succeed here? How can you remove any unnecessary friction?

6. What’s an ideal weekend you want to experience?
   Plan a weekend where you do your favorite activities. Maybe you go to your favorite bookstore with a loved one, or pop by the farmers market. Maybe you throw a fun autumn equinox party with friends. Celebrate the season. Whatever speaks to you, make a plan and invite your people.

7. Think about someone you admire immensely. How do you imagine they would act if they were to live your life this month? What would they love about your life? What changes would they make?
   I love these types of questions because they provide a fresh perspective. Like you’re looking at your life from the outside. You may find this new view illuminates meaningful blind spots. Let your imagination play here and see what comes up.

8. What’s a mantra you can repeat daily to remind you of your September experiment?
   This is your reminder to embody this version of you. For me, my September mantra is: Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. This simple sentence reminds me of a variety of things, but especially that there is no urgency and that I take action calmly and intentionally.

9. Imagine it’s the end of September. When you look back on this month, what will you be most proud of yourself for doing and embodying?
   Showing up for your future self is one of the most loving things you can do. You deserve that.

I recommend taking your answers from above to make a plan, and add it to your calendar. I also highly recommend printing off your mantra and placing it somewhere you see it every day (bathroom mirror is my pick). You’re capable of so much. I’m excited to begin this experiment and see where it takes us.

Here’s to making the most of the ninth month of 2026. What are you looking forward to most in September?

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Updates:

One thing I’m excited for is the live Autumn Equinox workshop I’m leading in the Rich Mind Rituals membership. On Wednesday, September 16th at 11 am CST, we’ll be looking at who we want to be and how we want to end 2026. We’ll also be talking about a fun 30-day challenge that will start October 1st. You can sign up to join us here.

The Latest:

You likely didn’t notice (a relief, if I’m honest), and I genuinely hope you’re reading this while enjoying a final lap of summer.

Since the fall of 2020, I’ve prided myself on being consistent with writing and sharing. The platforms have varied, but I’ve rarely missed a week without posting somewhere. Even when I went on maternity leave, I had things scheduled to go out in advance.

In the past, when motivation was hard to come by, I’d resort to the internet gurus’ advice about consistency.

Phrases like: “You have to do what you need to regardless of whether you want to...” and “Consistency is King” echoed in my mind. Instead of inspiration, those once helpful adages only induced the kind of eye-rolls my mother used to threaten me over.

So when I sat down in early June to write and felt nothing but a sinking dread, I asked myself: What if I just… don’t?

What if there’s a genuine reason you no longer want to do something you’ve always done?

I know I can’t always make decisions based on how I feel when running a business, and it’s true that sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do to get what you want. But over the years I’ve learned it’s equally important to tune in to the energy behind what you’re feeling, especially when it doesn’t make logical sense.

In The Heart Aroused, David Whyte writes:

“The alchemists maintained that we can create only in our own image. That is, everything takes form according to the consciousness that shaped it. If our self-image is small and restricted, or cold and inert, then what we produce will most probably be stillborn, like its maker. It is essential, then, to know what is vital and alive inside us and shape our lives in its image.”

The energy we use to create alters what we create. When that energy is unattached to a deeper meaning — like doing something because you always have or everyone says you should — what you create flounders.

If I create with resistance and dread, surely that will show in the finished product and you will subconsciously pick up on it. That’s not what I want. Ever.

I wanted needed to get back to a place where I created with genuine excitement and interest.

Since my creativity wouldn’t come out of its shell, I surrendered. As a firstborn daughter and an enneagram 3, easier said than done.

I assumed a couple of weeks would pass, and I’d be back at it. In mid-June, I sat down to write, but the resistance was stronger than ever.

It’s easy to paint resistance in a negative light, but that’s short-sighted. Sometimes it shows up when you’re doing something new or hard, and it’s worth pushing through. Other times, it’s a sign that your autonomy is suffering and something needs to change. The only way to decipher its message is to pause and pay attention.

So that’s what I did. I focused on my clients. I enjoyed time with family and friends. I learned some new hobbies. Finally, I got curious about why I didn’t want to do something I’ve always enjoyed.

Eventually, I discovered it was how I was creating that was the problem. In the effort to be helpful I would start my creative process by asking:

• What do people want from me?

• What do they expect of me?

• What is the right way to write?

Those questions aren’t necessarily bad. They can provide interesting insight. The problem is that every answer to those questions existed outside of myself, which led to me feeling disconnected.

Creativity is alchemy. To create is to be transformed yourself. If you want to be transformed, you have to connect inward and metabolize your life experiences.

Algorithms and platforms reward speed and volume, and I can’t help but wonder how much we, the creators, are shortchanging ourselves and our lived experiences by forcing our creativity to be an optimized commodity.

I’m in agreement with Lois. It makes much more sense for us to work and create in seasons and cycles.

My son just started school for the first time, and I’m realizing how little time I’ve had to focus and create over the past three years. In my limited time, I was so concerned with optimization that I’d clogged my creative flow with rules that cut me off from what drew me to creating and coaching in the first place: curiosity and openness.

Writing is a form of creative expression for me, and being able to do it as a part of my dream job is a highlight. But I lost my way for a bit, and it became just another way to perform. And THAT is what I am so tired of doing.

Instead of starting the process by trying to be helpful, I’m connecting to myself and asking:

• What wants to come through me?

• What is interesting to me right now?

• What am I experiencing right now?

I have to trust that by sharing that honest part of me, it will be helpful to some.

Isn’t that the beauty of living our own lives and running our own businesses? Having the autonomy to pivot when something is no longer working for us?

I think so.

The consistency I promise you won’t be in regard to frequency. Maybe I’ll write again weekly. Maybe more, maybe less. Instead, it will be in the energy with which I write to you. That I will create from a place of thoughtfulness, genuine interest, and inspiration. If I don’t have something I want to share, I’ll respect my energy and your inbox.

And that’s how you’ll know there’s a real human on the other end of this. AI could pump out 100 essays a day and never tire. But now that I’ve taken the pressure of performing consistently and frequently off of myself, I no longer need to worry about speed. I can take my time. I can write, step away, and eventually come back with fresh eyes to make sense of things. I can alchemize.

Some letters will be long, others short. All of them, in one way or another, will be about living life as intentionally, fully, and infused with as much beauty as possible.

Thank you for being here. If any of this resonated with you, leave a comment. I’d love to hear about it. Two-way conversations are always more fun.

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This was first shared with my Kit email list and then reformatted for Substack. I don’t usually post the same essay in both places, but this felt important and appropriate to share here as well. Thanks again for being here!

Updates:

• Read the last Sensory Notes: I talk about embracing negative space in your schedule (ironically foreshadowing) and tuning into your intuition as you make decisions. I also shared some of my favorite things that appeal to all five senses.

• On Wednesday, September 16th at 11 am CST, I’m leading a live Autumn Equinox workshop in the Rich Mind Rituals membership. We’ll be looking at who we want to be and how we want to end 2026. We’ll also be talking about a fun 30-day challenge that will start October 1st. You can sign up to join us here.

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Welcome to By Way of Ritual! Whether you’re a regular or just arrived, I’m glad you’re here, and I look forward to sharing about the rituals, mindsets, and moments of connection that make life meaningful. This series, Sensory Notes, is a biweekly ritual where I invite you to pause with me and connect with yourself so you can savor the meaningful details of your daily life.

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Despite the solstice still being three weeks away, summer seems to have arrived early, with warm days and a lighter schedule. In the past, the latter would’ve sent me into a tailspin, but now I find myself feeling calm and curious as I look at a calendar full of space.

As someone who enjoys pushing forward in one way or another, I find it more challenging to simply be than to manage a packed schedule. I usually embrace extra calendar space with some form of productivity. However, I’ve noticed an annoying question popping into my head more lately: What should I do?

Should. Ugh. Anytime a client says this word, my alarm bells go off, so it’s extra frustrating when that word sneaks past my own awareness. “Should" is a sign I’m seeking the answer outside myself. A sign I’m looking elsewhere for approval. Quite the opposite of how I want to live, especially as I inch closer to 40.

Instead of looking at this open space with frenzied energy, I’m using it to simply be, to tune into my intuition, and to ask myself a question that has always led me somewhere meaningful: “What’s the next best step according to your gut?”

As synchronicity would have it, that aligns perfectly with another question I’ve been asking myself daily: “How can you make this simple?”

That’s my energy for June: tune in, simplify, and trust myself.

Sight

In the evenings to wind down, I’ve been watching Widow’s Bay with my husband. I was apprehensive at first because I’m not a huge fan of scary shows, but it has enough humor to make it unexpectedly enjoyable. Imagine merging The Haunting of Hill House with Parks and Rec., and you’ve got a decent idea of Widow’s Bay. Anyway, if it’s good enough for Guillermo Del Toro, then it’s good enough for me.

Smell

My new favorite candle for spring and summer: Daffodils Dancing by Caroline Francis. I loved it so much I burned through it in one week. Thankfully, they have a subscription option.

Sound

I was at the playground earlier this week with Callum when another child took a tumble. After assessing that he was okay, his mother calmly and matter-of-factly told him, “Poor choices, poor results.” I chuckled in the moment (he was probably four at most), but I’ve been repeating that phrase to myself ever since as a way to motivate me to take action in the direction I want my future to go. It’s been wildly effective at removing any emotion — like fear — from my decisions.

Touch

Any time my aesthetician and friend, Chloe, shares a new skin care product with me, I am all in. Since she’s never steered me wrong, I ordered Le Chouchou Lip Softening Balm by Eadem within minutes of her introducing me to it. I bought it in Guava Fresco for a little color, and the scent is a nice bonus.

Taste

One of my goals for this year was to learn more about Feng Shui and apply what I can to our home. I’ve loved learning about this through The Intentional Home with Dorena Kohrs, the Space Doula. She shared that keeping a bowl of oranges on your kitchen countertop is a great way to invite in wealth, abundance, and creativity. As a result, I got the inspiration to make an orange creme latte at home the other day, and it was incredible. I added a little orange juice to the milk before frothing it and topped it with a bit of zest, et voilà!

TBD on whether these oranges impact my bank account, but they’ve at least provided me with a new favorite coffee drink to enjoy this summer.

Your Sensory Prompt:

What's one intention you have for June?

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Updates:

• In the last Sensory Notes, I shared the similarity between cliff jumping in Hawaii and making business decisions, a feel-good song I currently have on repeat, and a moisturizer that does the lord’s work on my hands.

• On Wednesday, June 17th, I’m leading a Summer Solstice ritual in the Revelation Rituals membership. We’ll do a mid-year reset and create intentions to honor this season of light and move us into the second half of 2026. You can sign up to join us here.

Welcome to By Way of Ritual! Whether you’re a regular or just arrived, I’m glad you’re here, and I look forward to sharing about the rituals, mindsets, and moments of connection that make life meaningful. This series, Sensory Notes, is a biweekly ritual where I invite you to pause with me and connect with yourself so you can savor the meaningful details of your daily life.

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My palms are starting to sweat as I sit across from Dave, about to sign a piece of paper authorizing a five-figure wire transfer that kicks off the creation of Revelation Ritual’s first product. I’m not sure why, but every time I sign something important, my signature goes to hell. As if it doesn’t want to be responsible if this ends up being a terrible idea. I’m reading all the fine print, preparing to say goodbye to a large chunk of money, and all of a sudden, I’m 17 again, about to jump off a rock into the Pacific Ocean.

I’m in Hawaii for an invitational volleyball tournament where we spend more time at the beaches than on the courts. One afternoon, on a golden sand beach, there’s a large rock in the water where people are climbing on and jumping off. It looks like a blast, and I know I can’t leave that beach without taking part.

My excitement grows as I start to climb up the jagged rock. But once I’m at the top and can see how far down the water is, fear begins to shout. What if there are sharks? What if it’s actually shallow and I break my legs and drown? What if I hit the rock on the way down and drown? Or worse, what if I look like an idiot, lose my bathing suit, and don’t drown? Every fear imaginable pops into my mind as I wait for my turn to jump.

I watch all the other people leaping, taking note of how many steps they take to launch themselves into the air. Where exactly did they jump from? How did they land in the water? My confidence grows as I see them bob back up to the surface afterward, laughing. They’re the proof I need. They survived it. Surely I will too.

Not that it matters since there’s no other way I’m getting off that rock. My ego and pride would never let me tuck my tail and climb back down. My stubbornness would rather see me potentially die than give up. The only way down for me is to jump.

Terrified, I back up a step, because the only thing worse than potentially drowning is tumbling off because I hesitated. So, I fully commit and take the leap. It’s exhilarating, that brief moment flying through the air. Before I know it, my head breaks through the surface, and even though I did almost lose my bathing suit, my legs are in tact and I’m laughing. I already can’t wait to do it again.

My heart flutters as I hand that piece of paper back to Dave, setting everything in motion and forcing me forward. I have no idea if I have what it takes, but there's no turning back now. The only thing I can do is leap with all I’ve got. Only time will tell if there are sharks this time around.

Sight

While everyone else was learning how to bake sourdough in 2020, I took an interior decorating course — a byproduct of doing the Artist's Way that summer. I've followed many designers over the years, but one of my long-time favorites is , whose work is layered and unexpected in all the ways the millennial aesthetic of all-white-beige-grey spaces is not. I'm reading her new book, The Intersection of Art and Design, right now, where she says, “I also believe that as you create your home, your home has a hand in creating you...” I love the idea that our environment aids in our personal transformation. It makes me want to take more risks, so I bought a plum bed this week on gut instinct alone, and I can’t wait to design our bedroom around it.

Smell

The first formulation samples for Revelation Ritual's debut perfume arrived this week, and I've been wearing each one in rotation, trying to understand how the different notes settle and shift on skin throughout the day. There's something surreal about smelling something that exists, in part, because of a vision you had. I'm taking notes and sending feedback to the perfumer, who'll make adjustments until we land on something that feels exactly right. Now, on to round two!

Sound

Emarosa is a new-to-me band that my husband introduced me to. I can’t stop listening to the songs “Good Enough,” “Sugarcane,” and “Moon and Back.” They’re upbeat and catchy and are perfect for a summer playlist.

Touch

When I was in 7th grade, a girl siting next to me in class asked me, “Why do you have old lady hands?” Since then, I’ve forgiven (kinda), but never forgotten it. My skin leans dryer, so I make it a priority to moisturize and care for it as well as I can. I’ve been using Soft Services Theraplush hand cream every night before bed, and while I won’t be moonlighting as a hand model in this lifetime, it helps them stay moisturized and at least middle-aged looking during the day. I’ll take what I can get.

Taste

The first time I visited Italy, I was obsessed by how delicious and simple the meals were. Everything was packed with flavor, but not ingredients and it changed the way I thought about cooking. This week our balcony basil hit its stride and I've been adding it to everything: eggs, pasta, a tomato I ate standing over the sink. A high reward for little effort!

Your Sensory Prompt:

What song is on your summer playlist this year?

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Updates:

• In my last Sensory Notes, I shared how I’m applying Mary Oliver’s advice to give in to the joy as well as my favorite scent for summer.

• On Wednesday, May 20th, we’re having a live Nervous System Regulation workshop in the Rich Mind Rituals membership with Jessica Addeo. She is an occupational therapist and nervous system coach, and I can’t wait to learn from her. I’m excited to see what tools I can add to my arsenal, especially as my son is fully stepping into his three-nager stage! You can sign up to join us here.

Welcome to By Way of Ritual! Whether you’re a regular or just arrived, I’m glad you’re here, and I look forward to sharing about the rituals, mindsets, and moments of connection that make life meaningful. This series, Sensory Notes, is a biweekly ritual where I invite you to pause with me and connect with yourself so you can savor the meaningful details of your daily life.

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He was driving when he looked at me and asked, “We’re good… right?” I took a moment to assess our life…

We’re all healthy. Our son — the brightest spot in our lives — is growing like a weed and becoming cooler every day. Work is challenging and exciting for both of us. We have supportive family and friends around us. This season of life is a lot of fun.

My conclusion? Life is pretty wonderful right now. But still, I hesitantly responded, "Yeah, we’re good… Really good...”

Then, we both said, “Are we forgetting something?”

You know that feeling, where you’re right on the precipice of unbridled joy? Then, right before giving yourself over to it, an intrusive thought gives you a swift kick to the gut and reminds you that the other shoe could drop at any moment. “Don’t get too comfortable…” it seems to say.

As much as I want life to feel abundant, I find it uncomfortable to relish in it when it does. What if I let the joy in and immediately lose it? What if my life implodes tomorrow? As if I can control the future by avoiding my present experience. What’s even more uncomfortable is sharing that joy without a million caveats about how my life isn’t perfect, just to make sure I seem deserving enough. I'm tired of feeling like I need to downplay my joy because I'm afraid to make someone else uncomfortable. So, I’m not going to do that right now.

I even asked my therapist, “I’m too happy, what am I missing?” Turns out, despite what my anxiety was saying, nothing.

For some reason, I find it easier to think about surrender in times of struggle. How learning to soften and accept reality, even when it’s not what I want, allows me to fully experience and, eventually, process my pain. As challenging as those experiences are, they give me wisdom and greater empathy towards others. But empathy doesn’t just make suffering slightly more endurable; it also enhances joy when shared.

Mary Oliver once said, “If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it.” That, “joy is not made to be a crumb.” So, I’m working on surrendering to the good, the beautiful, the exciting. To let it fill and consume me. To trust that I won’t later be punished for indulging in the delight. I’m learning to embrace the impermanence of all that is good right now, so the next time he asks me, “Are we good?” I won’t hesitate to say “We’re great!”

Sight

I received the visual concepts from our perfumer regarding the direction we’re going for our inaugural fragrance. Before this step, I filled out an extensive creative brief detailing the inspiration behind the scent, the feelings I want to evoke, and the scent profiles I think best represent it. I had to choose among these three, and I’m excited to share that we’re moving forward with concept one! I can’t wait to share more soon!

Smell

My signature summer scent, Jasmine Freak by Room 1015, is my favorite floral for warmer seasons. It opens with a slightly sweet and refreshing burst of Mango, Black Pepper, Blackcurrant, and Sweet Orange. About 20 minutes later, the heart blooms with creamy white florals of Bourbon Ylang-Ylang, Jasmine, and Tuberose. And the dry down of Musk and Cashmere Wood is elegant and luxurious.

This perfume smells amazing in the heat. If you hate “heady” or cloying florals, try this one, because same.

Sound

This poem by Jillian Stacia from her book Set the Bone:

Touch

Occasionally, when the weather is too beautiful to stay inside, a client will request a “walk and talk” instead of a Zoom call. Walking and being out in nature is meditative, and I love how the conversations flow in these calls. Last week, during a walk-and-talk with a client, a neighbor’s cat randomly ran out to greet me. We’ve lived here for almost a decade, and this hasn’t happened before — probably due to the 75-pound overexcited fluff typically accompanying me — so I felt like it was a good omen.

Taste

I saw this post by a few weeks ago about how she made a menu for their home to help her plan and limit decision fatigue during the week, which I thought was brilliant. So, I tried this myself, and while I was looking for meal ideas, I found this Jammy Cherry Tomato Pasta. As soon as I saw tomato, lemon, fig, and burrata, I had to make it. I added it to our home spring/summer menu and will definitely be a favorite.

Your Sensory Prompt:

What’s one simple thing bringing you joy right now?

Leave a comment

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Updates:

• In my last essay, I shared the seven types of rest we need to not burn out and an effortless exercise that accomplishes almost all of them…

• On Wednesday, May 20th, we’re having a live Nervous System Regulation workshop in the Rich Mind Rituals membership with . She is an occupational therapist and nervous system coach, and I can’t wait to learn from her. I’m excited to see what tools I can add to my arsenal, especially as my son is fully stepping into his three-nager stage! You can sign up to join us here.

Welcome to By Way of Ritual! Whether you’re a regular or just arrived, I’m glad you’re here. I look forward to sharing about the rituals, mindsets, and moments of connection that make life meaningful. This series, Sensory Notes, is a biweekly ritual where I invite you to pause with me and connect with yourself so you can savor the meaningful details of your daily life.

Subscribe now

One thing I struggle with as an entrepreneur is getting my mind to shut off. If I’m not actively working, I’m thinking about work: the never-ending to-do lists, the problems I need to figure out, projects I want to finish, the visions I have for the future, etc.

While it’s not all stressful — I enjoy thinking about work most of the time — taking a mental break preserves my sanity, motivation, and creativity.

Learning to rest is essential to survival as a business owner, and ironically, one of the hardest things to do when you’re full of ambition. My clients and I talk about it all the time. And it goes beyond getting eight glorious hours of uninterrupted sleep. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, author of Sacred Rest, says there are seven types of rest to consider if we want to avoid fatigue and burnout: physical, mental, sensory, emotional, social, creative, and spiritual.

My favorite way to accomplish at least five out of those seven is to go stand in the woods and stare at trees. Which sounds slightly deranged until you learn that staring at repeating patterns in nature, called fractals, for 20 minutes can lower your stress by 60%. These fractals activate a calm, meditative state, enhancing creativity, combatting mental fatigue, and reducing cortisol levels. I’ll take all the above, thank you.

That’s exactly what I did last weekend. Eric and I stayed at the recently opened Cypress Resort, nestled in the north Georgia mountains, to rest and celebrate his 40th birthday.

We spent time doing all the things we love most: reading, writing, playing the guitar (for him), staring at trees (for me), looking at photos of our son (our favorite person), and having uninterrupted time to connect.

A couple of hours into the first day, surrounded by the sweet smell of pine, the steady trickle of a nearby waterfall, and the soft dappled light playing through the leaves, my body softened and my mind emptied.

Three days later, as we headed home, I felt like my favorite self again. Turns out staring at trees like a psycho might be the most sane thing to do.

Sight

Our cabin sat about 30 yards above a waterfall. We hiked down to explore it, and could hear it from our balcony each morning as we sipped our espresso.

Smell

I wore Pas ce Soir by BDK Fragrances to Eric’s birthday dinner. This is my favorite date-night fragrance for the warmer seasons. It has depth and sensuality without being overpowering. The first impression sparkles with notes of black pepper, ginger, and pear. Then, it opens beautifully with a floral mix of jasmine, quince chutney, and orange blossom. By the end of the evening, the amber wood settles into your skin, making it intimate and irresistible.

Sound

If you’d like to have an emotional experience, sit somewhere quiet, take a breath, and listen to Max Richter's On the Nature of Daylight while reading Mary Oliver’s poem, “When Death Comes.”

Touch

I love the luxury of the barely there weight of silk against my skin. I’ve been reaching for silk scarves lately as the weather oscillates between winter and summer. Since I have a lot of solid and neutral colors in my wardrobe, scarves are my favorite way to play with color and pattern. It’s my go-to move when I want to make an otherwise boring outfit a little more stylish, and as the day heats up you can tie it to your bag instead.

Here are a few on my wishlist at the moment:

1. The Gaston Scarf from Sezane has my favorite color combo in this green and navy floral. 2. The Amora skinny scarf from Lost Pattern has antique perfume bottles on it so that’s a must. 3. This New York Dream scarf from Kate Spade is fun and whimsical 4. I LOVE the pattern and color of this Jumping British Green scarf from Maison Lecomte Flament. 5. The Chiara Scarf from Ulla Johnson has a gorgeous watercolor vibe, and am having a hard time choosing between Moontide or this color. 6. I also love this Olive Green scarf in cotton from Maison Lecomte Flament.

Taste

Eric has been on a quest for a tiramisu that rivals one he had in Florence, Italy in 2019 (nbd). Since we were celebrating his birthday, I tried to find the best in town before we left. To no one’s surprise, it didn’t quite meet his expectations — but he ate every bite, just to be sure. Tiramisu isn’t my favorite, so I got myself a lemon blueberry cake, which is a combination I never turn down. Next time we have a gathering and I need to bring a dessert, I’m making this:

Your Sensory Prompt:

What's a place in nature that always brings you back to yourself?

Leave a comment

Savor the details.

Updates:

• In my last Sensory Note, I shared the specific scent that takes me back to childhood.

• In this Essay, I talk about why people have a hard time with women who “want it all” and why our desires are worth heeding.

• In honor of the Rich Mind Rituals Membership turning 4 in May, I’m offering a complimentary 1-1 coaching session for those who join the annual plan. Together, we’ll create a custom action plan to help you succeed. You'll also get access to all the rituals and workshops designed to help you wire your mindset for success.

Exciting news! After some deliberation, I’ve changed the name of my Substack from Unlocked to By Way of Ritual. This shift better represents how I want this space to feel for us. Whether you’ve been here a while or just arrived, I’m so glad you’re here, and I look forward to sharing more about the rituals, mindsets, and moments of connection that make life meaningful.

This new series, Sensory Notes, is a biweekly ritual in which I invite you to pause with me and connect with yourself so you can savor the meaningful details of your daily life.

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I’m staring into the freshly potted soil when I get the sudden urge to dig up the dahlia root I planted three days ago to see whether or not it’s growing. I should’ve bought the full plant instead of roots... I think to myself.

I’m not a patient person, and based on recent actions, it seems my unconscious wants me to work on that.

I’ve been adding to our balcony garden over the past couple of weeks, trying to create some beauty among the bland architecture of our townhome community. Our view is so dismal that we’re one of the few units that bothered to put furniture on our balcony. I look out and see nothing but brown composite brick and grey asphalt.

It’s depressing to see how little character is designed into modern American architecture. Without meaningful attention to small details, it’s soulless and boring. I’ll never understand it, especially when places like this exist:

So in addition to ranting about it, I’m creating my own beauty where I am.

Which leads me to this new biweekly ritual series, Sensory Notes. With the goal of connecting more deeply with myself, others, and the world around me, I’m sharing five beautiful things that inspired me based on what I saw, smelled, heard, touched, and tasted each week.

I’m inviting you to join me. Keep a notepad nearby (or use your phone's notes app) and commit to paying attention to what delights your senses each week.

Let’s get connected:

Sight

My morning walks have been bursting with color. The yellow, purple, and maroon irises are unfolding, and I can see the buds of waxy magnolia flowers that will soon be the size of my head. I can’t wait. The roses crawling along my neighbor’s fence make for a storybook scene, and I can’t think of a better way to start my day than by taking a quiet walk and enjoying all the blooms.

Smell

In addition to seeing all the blooms on my walk, I also get the pleasure of smelling them. When it comes to scents of my childhood, honeysuckle is at the top. When I walk by that overgrown honeysuckle bush, all I have to do is close my eyes and breathe deeply, and suddenly I’m seven years old again, running around my grandmother’s farm.

I’m searching for a perfume with a honeysuckle note that isn't overly heady or sweet. I haven’t tried this one yet, but it’s on my list to sample.

Sound

“Don’t leave anything for later… Later, people grow up. Later, words go unsaid. Later, you lose interest. Later, opportunities slip away. Later, the day turns into night. Later, you regret not doing something that day. Later, life goes by. And you had the chance.”

—Toshikazu Kawaguchi

From Emma Grede’s book, Start With Yourself.

Touch

A few years ago, I decided to invest in nice pajamas. Now, putting them on at the end of the day is one of my favorite luxuries. As it’s getting warmer outside, I’m swapping out my cozy long pajamas for this silk tee and shorts set from Lunya. I bought the Monet-inspired Waterlily color a couple of years ago and may need to add the Cobalt Dream or Deep Blue to my collection soon.

Taste

This sheet pan chicken curry recipe is one of my go-tos when I want something healthy, tasty, and quick. I changed up the veggies and added bell peppers and broccoli instead of the cauliflower. Even Cal, who I can’t get to eat a vegetable without disguising it, loves it.

Your Sensory Prompt:

What's a scent that takes you straight back to childhood?

Leave a comment

Here’s to a week of noticing the beauty in the details.

Updates:

• In my last essay, I shared the inspiration behind this sensory ritual and how it helps me stay connected in a world doing its best to keep us distracted…

• On Wednesday, April 29th, I’m leading a live workshop in the Revelation Rituals membership on Optimal Health and Vitality. We’ll explore different aspects of wellness through the lens of self-love and compassion, clarify what helps you feel your best, and discover tangible ways to support yourself. You can sign up to join us here.

Now that spring is here and I’m revved up for the months ahead, I find myself wanting to pay attention to the everyday things that make my life beautiful.

Someone once gave me a writing prompt: notice one thing throughout the day that you feel, see, smell, taste, and hear — then write a quick poem or note about them. I thought it was a beautiful way to apply this excerpt from Mary Oliver’s famous poem, Sometimes:

Instructions for living a life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.
- Mary Oliver, "Sometimes"

Similarly, one of my favorite mindfulness techniques is called the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise. Anytime you feel stressed or anxious, it invites you to name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste. I love this exercise for its simplicity. It helps me get present in my day and reminds me to stay in my body, something my mind likes to wander from. This simple practice calms me and allows me to better appreciate small, everyday moments.

That exercise, and the fact that life seems to be moving at breakneck speed regardless of how present I am, spurred me to start a bimonthly reflection in which I consider the sensory experiences that were meaningful to me.

The last time I wrote a post like this, my son was 14 months old. Now, he’s almost 3 and more little boy than baby. It’s another reminder that time slows for no one, and I want to savor this season of life down to the dregs.

Now, let’s dive into each of the five senses for March:

What did I see?

1. Inside the Manosphere, a documentary with Louis Theroux: Whew. This was a tough watch on many levels. I’ll admit, the documentary left me wanting. I loved this article about it. One thing I did find interesting was that instead of leaning into how rage-inducing these men are (rightfully so), Louis took an angle that left me feeling more pity for them than anything else. Given how primed these men were to take a defensive stance, I thought this approach was more effective in weakening their positioning. They expected and almost seemed to welcome the rage of others. But when you’re sitting across from someone who sees through your false bravado to the wounded little boys underneath, it’s almost impossible to continue cosplaying as a convincing “Alpha Male.” You could see in their shrinking body language that they didn’t know how to respond when they weren’t met with anger.
   After watching the documentary, which felt like the embodiment of “hurt people hurt people,” this scene from Good Will Hunting (1997) came to mind. It’s the one where Sean (Robin Williams) repeatedly tells Will (Matt Damon) that his past abuse is “not your fault.” Will first responds with a dismissive shrug, then anger, and eventually breaks down in tears as Sean embraces him. It’s one of the most moving scenes in cinema. I can’t help but wonder if the only way we can one day truly dismantle toxic masculinity will be with genuine love and healing, which includes real accountability and reparation.
   As a woman, I’m hesitant to have high expectations for massive cultural change. But as a mother to a son, and a fan of the genuinely good men in my life, I remain hopeful and willing to do my part to turn that tide. All of us will benefit.

2. The Housemaid: A story about feminine rage and revenge with a satisfying twist will always be right up my alley. My book club had a movie night, and while the movie itself was just okay (I do love Amanda Seyfried, though), piling onto couches and cushions to watch with girlfriends gave me so much happy nostalgia that I’d rate it a 10/10 experience.

   

3. The Pitt: Season 1: We’re late to the party on this show, and despite keeping my eyes closed through approximately 40% of each episode (I’m extremely squeamish), I absolutely love it. Beyond the anxiety of watching everything that can go wrong with the human body, it’s given me even more respect for the doctors and nurses in my life.

4. All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks: I chose this book for the Revelation Rituals membership’s inaugural book club. This book challenged and inspired me to examine how I define love, and where I’ve withheld it from others and myself. I’ve dog-eared more pages than I can count, and I know I’ll be returning to them frequently.

5. This Quote by Anne Lamott: “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.”

What did I feel?

1. Excited: I officially turned in the creative brief for Revelation Rituals’ first scent to our perfumer. This first one means a lot to me—it’s basically what I would want my own signature scent to be—and I am beyond excited to see this come to life and eventually share it with you.

2. Overwhelmed: As I learn about the ins and outs of building a product-based business, I have to admit it’s a lot to take in. This is so new to me, it’s exhilarating, but with a lot to do and learn. I’m trying my best to build the plane as I fly it, while staying true to the brand’s values and vision.

3. Connected: This month was full of planned and impromptu time with family and friends. That, combined with spending more time outside to enjoy the weather, has me feeling embodied and peaceful.

4. Inspired: I read Theo of Golden last month2 and was immediately taken with its protagonist, Theo. From art and music to the people he encounters, he approaches every aspect of life with curiosity and appreciation. I’ve learned that anytime we have a strong reaction to something, it’s worth exploring. So I’ve been leaning into my own varied interests. I signed up for a drawing class on Skillshare, started exploring Feng Shui, and have been playing with my style by dressing according to my Venus sign (a challenge I may write about in a future essay). Following my inspiration has also left me feeling deeply connected to myself.

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What did I hear?

1. My husband has a new favorite rock band called Don Broco. Naturally, so does my 2-year-old son. Instead of starting our mornings with soft jazz playing in the background, Callum now requests “Don Bwoco?” I only acquiesce because it’s pretty darn cute to watch him use his blue foam baseball bat as a guitar and “rock out.” As a result, Don Broco has made their way into my own workout playlist, and I have to say it’s the perfect soundtrack for leg day.

2. How to Turn Rejection into Your Biggest Advantage with Laney Crowell: I’m not a huge podcast listener, but I find myself frequently tuning into the Aspire podcast with Emma Grede. I love how open and honest the interviews are, as each one pulls back the curtain on what building a business really looks like. I always walk away with wisdom and inspiration. This interview with Crowell, founder of Saie Beauty, gave me a lot to think about as I move forward with Revelation Rituals.

3. Whenever we’re not blaring Don Broco on our Sonos, I’m listening to Cozy Coffee Shop Jazz. It’s the perfect soft background music for writing or reading. It sets the mood while being quiet enough to focus.

What did I smell?

1. Jazmine Yucatán Perfume by D.S. & Durga: In celebration of the arrival of spring, I added this to my collection. I’m usually drawn to warm, woodsy scents, but I’ve been expanding my collection over the past year. I’m pretty specific about the types of floral notes I enjoy wearing, so I was genuinely surprised by how much I loved this one when I tried it at my favorite niche fragrance store in Nashville.3 With notes of passion flower, bergamot, jasmine sambac, clove, vetiver, and copal, this is a beautiful floral with a fantastic drydown (my main deciding factor when purchasing). It’s perfect for warm spring days and will be on heavy rotation come summer.

2. Mint Condition Candle by Adlan Fragrances: This candle is my go-to for a refreshing spring scent. I’ve been opening the windows and burning it in the morning. The vessel is also beautiful and well crafted enough to display once it’s finished. Once it’s burned down, I clean it out and use it to store things like matches or mints.

What did I taste?

1. As a coffee lover and caffeine addict, I rarely deviate from my beloved cup of hot coffee. But one of the women in my entrepreneurial group, BrainTrust, is the co-founder of Muracha, a matcha tea brand launching in May 2026. During our last meeting, Katie made us all a custom Muracha latte, and I have to say, it was both creamy and refreshing.

   I’m already on the waitlist and can’t wait to buy a whole tin once they launch. Not only is the tea delicious, but the branding is gorgeous. I can already see this becoming an early afternoon ritual that replaces my third cup of coffee. So long, late afternoon crashes — hello to sustained energy.

Looking back through each of my senses, March was a beautiful month, and reflecting like this makes me deeply grateful for this season.

What experience or moment helped you feel most connected in March? I'd love to hear about it in the comments.

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Despite my best intentions, I still found myself wondering if I should “niche down” and pick a lane. I hear it’s smart to write for a specific category and I’m guilty of reading articles and essays with titles like, “How to Grow your Substack to 1,000 Followers in a Month.” I like to be smart and intentional with my time. As a mother, a business owner starting a second business, and a woman with a full life, it sometimes feels like spending time writing whatever I want without an end goal is an indulgence I can’t afford.

But today marks one year of life without my soul dog, Luna, and all I’ve been able to think about when I sit down to write over the past few weeks is her.

While I like to be helpful or inspiring with what I write and share, this one is for me. I’ve been working on it, on and off, for a year now. A cathartic exercise as the tears flow every time I face the page. I’m trying my best to convey how much Luna meant to me, but I keep falling short. I suppose that in itself is a testament to how meaningful her big little life was.

So, this may not be helpful for you, dear reader, but if you’ve ever loved and lost a pet who was near and dear to your life, at the very least, I hope it offers a moment to lovingly remember them.

Regardless, this is my Substack, and I’ll cry if I want to.

Without further ado, this is my tribute to Luna.

Under the Redbud Tree

After it happened, I stared at your name tag on an empty collar next to a lock of your fur and an imprint of your paw as I thought, I can’t believe this is all I have left of you…

I remember how public it all felt. How I carried your failing body down the stairs of our townhome outside to the small patch of grass next to the street. How I ached to give you the privacy I felt you deserved when your legs gave way, and you surrendered to the soft grass under the pink blooms of the Redbud tree. I cradled your head in my hands, the same way I held your small, furry body the first time we met. I kneeled in the mud next to you, as your weary eyes found mine and said, It’s time.

I remember how my mind raged, and heart shattered, but my gut knew you were right. My final task of love had arrived: to let you go as peacefully and beautifully as possible. Thirteen years flooded my mind with you as my constant companion through the uncharted terrain of change that is early adulthood. Through six moves, getting married, changing jobs, becoming a mother, and discovering myself as an adult, you were there.

I remember the holiness of your enthusiastic greetings, your squinty-eyed smile, and your relentless pursuit of table scraps. I thought of all the brisk hikes and blueberries we shared, and how you would only cuddle as long as I pet you. Now, holding you loosely (your preference, not mine), as you made this final transition, was the least I could do. A small thing following a lifetime—your lifetime—of bringing so much love and joy and comfort to mine.

I remember asking Eric to make the call because my body refused to form the words. You loved him, too. Instead, I sat by you quietly, petting your velvet ears, smelling your paws, and trying to commit every golden detail of you to memory. In your final hour, we put you in a stroller and took the same walk you and I went on together almost daily until the end.

I remember the turn in our walk where you’d grab the leash and pull me along playfully, something the trainer told us we needed to fix, but never did. Instead, I relished in your rebellious joy. All I wanted was for you to be able to run your wild circles and roll in the grass once again.

I remember, twenty minutes later, a gentle old man in our living room delicately explaining how you wouldn’t feel any pain. I held your head one last time, your brown eyes locked onto mine to say, I love you. I thanked you and told you how good you were, how loved you will always be, how knowing you was an honor, that perhaps in time I will be okay, and to please send me a sign or two daily.

I remember the reverence with which I watched your spirit move beyond the brokenness of your body and this world towards the next. In my mind, I saw images of rolling fields and shallow creeks and dappled sunlight. I saw your fur shimmer in a light breeze as you ran to old friends, tail wagging.

And every now and then, I imagine you finding the shade of a Redbud tree, and as you roll to your back beneath its blooms, you smile and remember me.

Once, a good friend of mine (and roommate at the time) decided to take our trash out one afternoon. We lived in an old building that required us to walk down two flights of stairs that hadn’t been up to code since the 80’s, then about 100 yards to the dumpster. This was the shortest of short straw chores. She rolled up her sleeves and heaved the bag up as she eased down the narrow staircase. Once she made it out the back door to the gravel lot, she let the heavy bag drop to drag it the final stretch. When she finally reached the dumpster and bent down to hoist the bag into it, she found—to her shock and horror—nothing but shredded plastic and a trail of trash that she now had to pick up piece by piece.

By trying to make it easier, she doubled the effort (and grossness).

I don’t like to struggle, especially if I don’t have to. I mean, who does? I’ve wasted money on plenty of products and services that promised to make my life easier. I’m drawn to things that look and seemingly feel effortless. I often look for a way out when I feel the slightest bit of friction.

Like now, as I write this, the words are not flowing. So I think about organizing my office, or finally ordering the photos I want to display around our home instead. Suddenly, I remember my laundry is still in the dryer and needs to be put away. I hate laundry, but anything is better than the discomfort of trying to wrangle my uncooperative thoughts into coherent sentences. I’m tempted to put it off (again) and increase my dread in returning to the page.

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I know I’m not alone in my inclination for ease.

Pay attention to marketing messaging, and you’ll quickly see what motivates people—some form of ease is often at the forefront. Our brains are crafty and always looking for ways to conserve energy, and humans are creative, having invented myriad ways to satisfy that desire. We can have almost anything we want delivered right to our doorsteps with a light tap on a screen. “Overnight” success stories and get-rich-quick schemes strategies draw the largest crowds. We hear the phrase “work smarter, not harder,” take it as gospel, and wonder if we’re being dumb when things require real effort.

But there’s nuance here. Making things harder than they need to be isn’t a virtue. It’s exhausting, unnecessary, and depending on the situation, maybe even neurotic. I’m all for outsourcing, not for the sake of ease alone, but so you can direct your energy toward the things that actually deserve it. The question worth asking isn’t, "How do I avoid the struggle?” It’s “Which struggles are worth showing up for?”

In my experience, the effort put in directly correlates with fulfillment. Research in positive psychology supports this. Studies on well-being interventions have found that the people who benefit most are those who consistently invest effort in meaningful positive activities over time. Effort is the gateway to fulfillment.

During a recent coaching session, a client asked me how she could feel more ease in her business. I thought about the only reason I can lift all 30lbs of my son over my head again and again without thinking about it: I practice lifting 60lbs regularly. If you want something to feel easier, you have to become stronger. And the only way to become stronger is through intentional, focused effort.

I learned that the hard way last year when I was deciding on a name for my new fragrance house. Naming things doesn’t come easily to me—from businesses to products to my son, choosing a name always feels like a big responsibility. Names hold so much meaning, and as a recovering perfectionist, the pressure to choose the “right” one is heavy.

In fact, it took all of nine months to choose a name for our son. My typically go-with-the-flow husband had transformed into a highly opinionated Name Czar, passionately vetoing every suggestion I brought to the table. For months, we couldn't find anything we felt strongly enough to fight for. Then, a month before my due date, we were out walking — more like waddling, in my case — when he said, "What about Callum?" I felt the world pause for a moment as I repeated it back. I liked it. I liked the symbolism. I went home and wrote it in my journal, falling in love with how it looked on the page, and I knew. The struggle hadn't been wasted — it had made the arrival of the right name feel like a revelation.

Instead of remembering that experience when I found myself stuck on a name for my fragrance house, I tried to shortcut the process with ChatGPT. Unsurprisingly, every suggestion fell flat. There was one name I liked enough to try to make work. I convinced myself it made sense, and that the task I usually dread was done. But deep down, I knew I was forcing it. And, I have plenty of proof that every time I try to force something, I suffer twice. I finally admitted it wasn’t working and went back to the drawing board, weeks behind where I’d hoped to be.

When I dreamt about building this business, I knew I wanted to be intentional and deeply connected to my intuition in each decision. Using AI was out of alignment with that.

So I put away the laptop. I wrote down every name I could think of that embodied the characteristics, traits, and outcomes I hoped this business would convey. I asked my business manager and branding advisor for words that came to mind.

I went home to work out because my brain functions better after I move my body. My husband was in the gym too, so I shared my ongoing list and asked him to brainstorm with me. After all, he was technically responsible for my favorite name ever. After going through over a hundred different words, he suggested, “What about Revelation Rituals?” I considered it. The meaning fit perfectly. I loved the double RR. I thought of how many clients have said to me, “I just had a revelation this morning…” followed by a breakthrough that changed something for them, often as a direct result of their rituals. I wrote it down, felt that knowing feeling in my gut, and emailed my lawyer to apply for a trademark.

If I’d gone with the one ChatGPT gave me, not only would it have robbed me of a name that fits beautifully, but also the experience of collaborating with others, something I’m looking forward to doing more of in this business.

There’s something beautiful in that struggle—the intentional effort—that hones us. Changes us. Makes us wiser, clearer, and more connected to ourselves. When we outsource that process, we end up feeling slightly fraudulent, like we've copied someone else's aesthetic and can't figure out why the room or outfit still feels wrong. The missing element is always the same: you.

A meaningful life takes effort. It takes tuning into who you are and what you want. As I step into one of the biggest challenges I've taken on—building a product-based business in an industry completely foreign to me—I'm leaning on 14 years of entrepreneurship, my intuition, and the hard-won knowledge that the things I'm most proud of have always cost me intentional effort.

If whatever you're building, naming, or figuring out right now feels hard, good. Don't outsource that part. It’s in that effort that you become who you need to be. That's where you’ll find your revelation.

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I have about 26 unread text messages from friends and family checking in. I’ve sent many myself, wanting to be helpful whatever way I can be. It’s hard to watch people you care about-people in your community-suffer.

I see that on a larger scale, too, given what’s going on in in the US right now. Personally, I’ve been heartbroken about what I’m seeing. But the one thing that does give me hope is how people are showing up, standing up, for others who are in need.

I think about Fred Roger’s advice to, “Look for the helpers,” and how it inspires me to be a helper, too.

It’s unsurprising to me that studies show people who focus on helping others through kindness, generosity, and service consistently report higher life satisfaction and even greater physical well-being than those who don’t.

It’s why, when disaster strikes a community, you see an outpouring of people stepping in to help one another. Shared empathy strengthens our sense of connection, community, and mutual responsibility.

We’re designed to function best in connection with one another.

When I’m working with a client suffering from fear of being seen, we not only work on rewiring that origin story, but we also practice shifting their focus away from others’ perceptions of them and back toward their ultimate mission.

By focusing on ways to help, we find ourselves pulled out of fear and into action.

It brings me back to one of my all-time favorite quotes from a book that changed my life 16 years ago, Tuesdays With Morrie:

That quote is the mantra I’m currently using as my north star. I’ll be leaning into it heavily this week as I show up to support my clients and community.

Sending you love, strength, and courage this week.

XO,
Jen

My elbow throbbed as I stared at the ceiling, scanning the rest of my body. Tears began to pool at the shock of having fallen on our stairs. After confirming nothing was broken, only tender, a sharp laugh escaped my lips. Oh, the irony.

It was January 23rd. Only three weeks earlier, I chose “Grace” as my word of the year. Despite my best intentions, I was gloriously falling failing at being graceful. I had the bruises to prove it.

Only a few hours earlier, I was in the middle of my morning ritual that’s responsible for major changes in my life. My expectations soared as I visualized myself moving through the day with grace. I journaled on what grace looks like in action. I had clarity on how to embody it. I knew it felt like my shoulders dropped, back straight, chest open, head high, jaw unclenched. I could feel the intentionality I’d have in my movements.

Slow is smooth and smooth is fast, and all that.

But I’ve been rushing for decades. Growing up, we’d rush out the door to school or church or a variety of sports practices. Just this morning, my mother burst through my door in a flurry, hands full of bags and coats, as her dog yanked her over the threshold.

Rushing is woven deep into my subconscious as the way to move through the world. I take the quickest driving route and attempt to “kill two birds with one stone” in the name of efficiency. There’s so much (too much) to do. I’m always dreaming about the future. It’s winter, and I can’t wait for spring. I just turned 38, and I’m thinking about how I’ll celebrate my 40th birthday (in the Dolomites).

I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember. What am I running from… I wonder. Once, in a dream group, after hearing about someone’s dream of being chased, our facilitator suggested, “Usually, when we stop and face what we’re running from, it’s not as scary as it seems.” I think about the thin scar on my left leg from a dog I ran from, despite my dad warning me not to, and I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d listened.

Now, 30 years later, I don’t want to be this way anymore. My body and soul are tired of all the rushing. I’m ready to move through the world with less speed and more intentionality. To experience more moments of softness in addition to the excitement for what’s next. I’m ready to turn and face what’s chasing me.

But old habits die hard, and it’s tough to teach an old dog new tricks, which is why I find myself stunned and sprawled out on our staircase, my elbow and back aching.

I look down the stairs and see my son strapped into the stroller, his hazel eyes wide, with a front-row view of the unfolding chaos. I wonder if he feels his chest tighten the way mine does when I watch my mother rush. If he feels the need to speed up, too, in case something is chasing him. Suddenly, my desire to change becomes more urgent and necessary than before. He doesn’t have any scars on his legs.

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Becoming a mother exacerbated my tendency to rush by adding more responsibility to my plate. Thankfully, life balances the scales, so it also dramatically highlighted the importance of being present.

I want to enjoy my son’s fleeting childhood. To fully take in this precious season of life. I want him to feel a sense of calm and peace around me. So that one day, when he needs rest, comfort, or retreat, his first thought will be to come home.

After my fall, I sat down to think about ways to create this change more effectively. Initially, when it comes to change, half the battle is simply remembering what we want to do differently. Remembering who we want to be, rather than letting who we thought we had to be autopilot our lives.

I once read that our senses flood the brain with about 11 million bits of information per second, but our conscious minds can only process a fraction of it (around 40-50 bits/sec), so I’m not too hard on myself for forgetting things that aren’t important to my immediate survival. It’s not a matter of personal failing. I simply needed to make this behavior—this new identity—something I embodied without having to think too hard about it. To embed this version of myself into my subconscious so it becomes automatic.

During my brainstorming, the Summer of 2022 came to mind.

It was my first time in Paris. I was walking along the Seine after sunset, stunned by the crescent moon looming so large above the river that it almost looked fake. I felt like I was in a dream. All I wanted to do was bottle up the magic of that moment. The following day, I did the next best thing and walked into Guerlain to buy a perfume I could wear for the rest of the trip. Now, all it takes to transport me back to The City of Light is a dab on each wrist.

I’ve loved fragrance since I was first allowed to wear it in middle school. Applying my perfume is the final step in my morning routine, the signifier that I’m ready to carpe diem. I have candles in every room of my home, carefully chosen to enhance the feel and mood of that space. Collecting perfumes and candles is a pleasure of mine.

In that moment, everything clicked as a new idea emerged.

I often use fragrance to influence my mood, so I wondered if this is the key to ‘remember’ this Graceful identity I want to embody. Scent, after all, is the most powerful way to recall memories. Unlike other senses, our olfactory system is directly linked to the brain regions responsible for emotion and memory.

Have you ever gotten a whiff of something and immediately been taken back to a specific moment or memory? This is called the Proust Effect. Since a vivid visualization is technically a future memory, I wondered if I could use fragrance to help me create my future reality.

I told my husband my idea and started obsessively researching, deciding to test my theory first. Each morning over the next few weeks, I applied a specific perfume, then visualized who I wanted to be and how I moved through the world with grace. My mind conjured vivid images and emotions I wanted to embody, and I breathed in the enveloping scent, anchoring them.

After a few weeks of consistency, I noticed that every time I caught a whiff of my perfume, my body automatically relaxed. My shoulders dropped, my breath deepened, my mind remembered. I noticed the tightness in my chest loosening, and I started moving more intentionally throughout the day. I was present, and while my to-do list still felt never-ending, I wasn’t making it worse by frenetically trying to do or be everything.

I felt free and hopeful because I was no longer rushing.

While how I feel is most important, I wasn’t the only one who noticed. A couple of months later, I was chatting with someone new when she paused and commented, “You have the most calming energy.”

Weeks later, a dear friend reflected, “You seem so grounded and settled in yourself.”

As the year goes on, I receive more comments about my energy. I wasn’t surprised because it was true. I was, however, elated that my experiment worked.

I think back a couple of years to an afternoon walk with my husband when He asked me, “If we won the Powerball, what would you do?”

My reply was quick, “I’d create and sell beautiful products that I love and use regularly. Maybe even open a brick-and-mortar where I can connect with people in person, too.”

It sounded enticing, but I had no idea what the reality of that dream required.

In true entrepreneur fashion, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, dreaming about it. I kept seeing signs nudging me to explore the idea. I’ve only known service-based jobs, and this felt enticing and foreign, but not impossible. Every time I encountered something I didn’t know, I found an answer that gave my dream weight and shape.

As someone who believes in and encourages radical self-trust, I began to listen to that still small voice inside more intently than ever, and I knew I had to fully explore this idea.

So, friends, without further ado, I’d like to officially introduce you to Revelation Rituals: A Fragrance House and Apothecary for the Senses.

We create scent-based products to pair with rituals designed to help you connect more deeply with yourself, others, & the world around you.

Eventually, I hope to have products that engage all five senses, giving inner revelations an experiential, tangible form. To help you embody who you genuinely want to be and tap into the limitless potential already there.

I’m in the early stages of building Revelation Rituals, and as of now, it is entirely self-funded. I’m currently working on developing the first products. My mind is years ahead of my reality, and while patience isn’t my strong suit, a clear vision is powerful sustenance for a long journey. A journey I plan on documenting for myself and sharing with you.

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I’m new to this world and have a lot to learn, but my imposter syndrome is nowhere to be found. My voice of self-doubt, while appropriately present, is making sure I do my due diligence rather than holding me back. I’ve never felt more inspired and invigorated.

I think back to a past version of me who was full of self-doubt, and my chest swells with gratitude for her courage to face her fears. For her willingness to not accept her limiting beliefs as fact, but to change her story and honor the potential she felt within. Because of her, I get to experience freedom and empowerment in my choices. Because of her, I’m able to chase a dream that requires my whole body to wake up.

I want that for you, too, because you’re capable of so much and you deserve to experience your potential at full force. To feel at home in who you are, and connected to your desires and dreams. To have the courage to pursue what lights you up inside. To move through your life in a way that feels like a graceful, deep breath.

So I’ll create and share what I know, love, and do in the hopes of helping you do exactly that.

This morning, after my ritual, I ambled down the stairs with my son when he looked at me and matter-of-factly said, “I so happy.” My heart almost burst as I beamed at him.

Then he says, “Mama’s so happy.”

Yes, baby, she really is. That was a moment of grace incarnate I’ll never forget.

I sigh and think to myself, “These are someone else’s clothes.”

I used to love getting dressed, but after having my son, that became a complicated part of my day. Not only was my body undergoing constant change, but I also had a new identity. One I wasn’t even sure I wanted, let alone expected to enjoy so much. I entered motherhood after years of inner work, therapy, and self-discovery. But, as with most things, I couldn’t fully understand how all-consuming that transformation would be until I experienced it.

In some ways, my initiation into motherhood was rockier than expected. Uncertainty reared its head early on, quickly shattering my illusions of control. Forced to contend with the limits of my humanity, I had to accept that surrendering to the experience was the only way through. Having my son was a trial by fire. But it also grounded me, forced me to take up more space, and made me softer, literally and figuratively. It connected me to an inner well of power and purpose that I’d only flirted with previously. I felt like the phoenix: who I was before was burned to ash, so that who I needed to become could fully emerge.

It takes courage to embrace the pain of burning yourself down. To release ways of being to be reborn into someone new. As challenging and painful as that season was, I learned an important lesson: If I wanted to be a healthy mother, I couldn’t abandon myself. In a season where I needed physical, mental, and emotional support more than ever, I had to embrace vulnerability and accept help from my village. Gone were the days of responding in my typical eldest daughter way, saying, “Oh no, I’m good!” If I hadn’t taken up space and allowed others to support me, I wouldn’t have risen from the ashes.

I also realized that included taking my desires seriously. For me, getting dressed each day is a personal ritual. It’s an outward expression of who I am, how I feel about myself, and the way I want to show up in the world. Discovering my personal style has always reflected how well I understand and trust myself. But it’s difficult to trust someone you don’t know, so my struggle with getting dressed was an outward sign that I was still discovering this version of me. After a cataclysmic identity shift, I knew this area of my life deserved attention.

I needed to explore and play. I wanted to learn more about style, but I didn’t want to copy someone else’s wardrobe. A commonality I’ve noticed among people I think have a great sense of style is that they all have an element of uniqueness. I can think of five people off the top of my head who I’d consider stylish, and they all dress very differently. In fact, their sense of style isn’t even mine. Good style isn’t about one specific way of dressing, but trusting what you like and having the courage to embrace your unique taste.

So instead of just saving photos of outfit ideas to copy-paste, I wanted to understand why I was drawn to certain things and how I could embody them in my own way.

I read ’s Wear it Well (I love her 3-word method). I sat through a three-hour color analysis to learn about the harmony specific colors have with my skin tone and features (thankfully, I’m a deep winter because I love wearing black). I devoured ’s content after my friend, , had a great experience working with her. Her advice on measuring denim has changed everything for me and made blind buying pants a breeze.

Throughout this whole process, I learned to be open-minded, to try things I might not have loved in the past, and to allow myself to play and evolve. It taught me to trust myself even more—that, despite drastic changes in my life, I can always rely on what speaks to me to guide me. Rediscovering myself in this new territory has taken time. My son is now two and a half, and I finally feel more grounded and settled in this newer version of myself. I’m excited to get dressed again. My body is still changing, and I’m allowing it to take its time, supporting it with love by wearing clothes that fit well and support my life right now.

This level of self-love and trust is shifting the way I show up in my business, my relationships, and what I’m building next. As I move into this next season of my life, I’m excited to express myself more through style and design. To continue trusting myself and facing transformations with courage and vulnerability. And I can’t wait to share more of what I’ve been working on with you soon.

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That’s the question I’ve been sitting with for the past few years.

At times, it felt like two parts of me were always at odds, fighting for dominance. Either I poured everything into my ambitions and dreams for the future, or I let them go in order to be fully present in my life right now.

Anytime I leaned too far in one direction, I felt out of balance. My ambition could drive me straight into the ground. My longing for presence sometimes left my potential untapped.

After becoming a mother, both parts of me shifted. My ambition found a new motivation, and my desire to be fully present with my son grew even stronger. So I began to wonder:

What might life look like if I could integrate these parts instead of letting them compete? What if ambition and presence could coexist in a healthy way?

I don’t think there’s one “right” answer. There are seasons for driving forward unapologetically and seasons for sinking deeply into the now. In this season, I’m experimenting with a bit of both. And to my surprise, weaving presence into my packed work days has actually fueled a healthier, more sustainable sense of ambition.

One way I’ve been practicing this integration is by actively romanticizing my daily life. Slowing down to enjoy a coffee and candle morning ritual, adding fresh flowers to my desk, and playing a cozy playlist as I work toward my goals. It’s made me look forward to the variety in my day.

After doing my seasonal ritual last month, I had some fun ideas for ways I’m to romanticize Autumn and continue this integration.

For me, October and romance go hand in hand. There’s something seductive in the darkening of the skies and how the leaves turn the color of mulled wine. The longer nights inviting us to linger close during candlelit conversations. My husband and I started dating in October. I think back with fond nostalgia on evenings by a bonfire, late night movies, and going out dancing. It was exciting and cozy at the same time. My life looks a lot different 16 years later, but my heart still flutters on that first crisp morning.

I’m finding intentional, small ways to romanticize this season. From opening all our windows for fresh air during my morning routine, to surrounding myself with beauty during my fully packed work days, I’m planning ahead to make sure I’m moving through the day honoring my present-day life and my dreams for my future.

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Here’s how I’m romanticizing Autumn:

Choosing specific scents to represent this season:

I’ve always loved candles and perfumes, but lately I’ve been using them more intentionally, by pairing them with guided visualizations. This helps the scent create an anchor in my mind for certain emotional states I want to embody. I’ll spay a specific perfume and listen to a guided visualization that prepares me for the day I want to have. Then, every time I get a whiff of that scent as the day goes on I’m immediately transported back to that feeling and intention. It grounds me so well.

When I know I have a creative day ahead of me, I want to feel grounded, connected to my inner voice, and creative. So I use a scent that will my office to smell cozy and inspiring. One that evokes a sense of calm and possibility.

When I have day full of calls, I like to feel calm, focused, and deeply present. So the scent I choose needs to evoke a sense of focus, energy, and presence.

Here are the scents of the perfumes and candles I’m choosing this seasons:

1. For my everyday Autumn scent, I chose Soie Malaquais by Dries van Noten. I love how it feels intimate and cozy. I wanted a cozy day-time scent that that feels elevated, easy to wear, yet warm. With notes of chestnut and silk this one delivers in a luxurious and smooth way. I like to wear this on days I have coaching calls and meetings as it evokes a sense of warmth, nurturing, grounded energy, and grace all at once.

2. The second perfume I chose is one that is richer, warmer, and is as cozy as I want to feel. Something I could put on during a gloomy fall day underneath one of my favorite cashmere sweater as I sit down to write and create. I sampled quite a few while searching for the right scent and finally landed on Queen of the Night by Merchants of Venice. With notes of blue lotus, saffron, cinnamon, amber, myrrh, and sandalwood, it’s warm, spicy, and sweet. I love the name and the bottle is as gorgeous as the scent.

3. For my third perfume, I was looking for something more sensual and seductive. A scent that would be a go-to for a romantic date night in cooler weather. I chose Rouge Smoking Extrait by BDK Fragrances. It’s a beautiful, dark, smokey cherry scent that gives off empowered femme fatale vibes. I cannot stop smelling my wrist anytime I wear it.

4. I’m also holding out for a new release from my favorite niche fragrance house, Zernell Gillie Fragrances. He just announced his newest scent, Blues, will be available on October 24th, and based on the notes alone it sounds like it was made for me. I’m extremely tempted to blind buy a full bottle and can’t wait to try it.

My environment has a huge impact on me. How I feel, my ability to focus, all depends on the space I’m in. One of the first things I notice when entering a space after the light, is the smell. Our sense of smell has a unique way of anchoring us into specific states, so I like to be intentional with the scents I add to my home.

The candle for my creative days:

I love this Sage and Walnut candle from LAFCO. It’s such a cozy and easy scent that makes me feel like I’m in a beautiful library. It evokes a sense of calm, comfort, and internal connection that helps me create from an authentic place. It’s also one of my favorite scents to burn when we have people over.

The candle for my call days:

I chose the scent Stardust from Linnea. With notes of champagne, grapefruit, and orange blossom this scent is bright and celebratory, and feminine that keeps me focused and excited to support my clients wherever they are in their life.

Refreshing my Closet:

I feel so uninspired getting dressed lately. Since having my son, every time I step into my closet I feel like I’m looking at someone else’s clothes. It leaves me feeling more frustrated than inspired. I miss feeling excited when getting dressed, so as the weather changes I’m going to do a closet clean out and get rid of what doesn’t fit or align with who I am now. I finally feel like I’m ready do put energy into my sense of style again. I found early in my pregnancy and bought her book: Wear It Well last year. I love her closet clean out process and her 3 Word Method, so I’m going to go through it for a refresh so I can make getting dressed each day a ritual I look forward to again.

Books on my list:

I love to read fiction. My top picks are usually in the thriller or fantasy category, but I’ve dabbled in dark academia a bit too. Despite choosing these types of books pretty much year round, it feels appropriate this time of year to shamelessly dive into my favorite genre.

This is my book list for the season:

• The Exorcism of Faeries by J.L. Vampa

• We Are All Guilty Here by Karin Slaughter

• One Dark Window (The Shepherd King, 1) by Rachel Gillig

• Two Twisted Crowns (The Shepherd King, 2) by Rachel Gillig

• Slewfoot: A Tale of Bewitchery by Brom

• The Bewitching by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

• Aftertaste by Daria Lavelle

• The Knight and The Moth by Rachel Gillig

Gatherings I’m looking forward to:

As grateful as I am for the connections and people I’ve made through the online space over the past few years, I’ve really been craving more in person connections lately. I’m not always good at initiating get togethers with friends, so that’s something I want to be more intentional about in this season.

• A couple of weeks ago I had all of the women in our neighborhood over for a Neighbor Night to hang out and get to know each other. It’s so nice to feel more connected to the people who live around you, so that now instead of shyly waving at one another as we walk by, we can actually feel a connection when we pass one another in the neighborhood. Now, we have a solid group chat going which is fun. I’m hoping to do this more in the future.

• I’m also hosting my book club this month. I’ve been a part of a book club for going on two years and it’s been one of the most enjoyable experiences. We meet monthly and the person who’s hosting that month is the one who decides the book we read. We recently decided to choose different themes for each month too for variety. October is my month to host and my category to choose from is Fantasy. I chose the Bane Witch by Ava Morgan. I thought it would be a decent choice for our group since not everyone likes fantasy books. It’s a light fantasy crossed with a thriller, a perfect theme for October. I’m currently planning the menu for when they come over to discuss and can’t wait to hear everyones opinions.

• After watching The Bear, my husband got inspired to create his own Chicago style beef sandwiches. They are incredible. He’s planning on making those soon and we’ll be inviting friends over to enjoy and likely watch football.

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Things I want to do:

• Go to a pumpkin patch. Cal is currently obsessed with all the fall and Halloween decorations. I want to take him to pick out some pumpkins for our home and hopefully to get some more cute pictures of him as he continues to grow like a weed.

• Visit an an apple orchard. Now that Callum is old enough to kind of understand what’s going on, I find myself wanting to do all the fall things with him.

• Celebrate 16 years together with Eric. It’s wild to think how quickly 16 years have come and gone. From changes in careers to becoming parents there’s no one else I’d rather navigate life’s ups and downs with, so I’m looking forward to celebrating that.

• Trick or Treating in our neighborhood. I love Halloween. I have such fond memories of it as a kid. I’m not sure what Callum will be yet, but he’s currently obsessed with garbage trucks and construction equipment so likely something in that genre.

• Shoot one roll of film on my Canon AE-1. I did this over the summer and just sent it off to be developed. I’m trying to shoot one roll per season to play around with my creativity and create mementos. Shooting film is such a different experience than digital. Photography used to be a way to capture moments and memories in real time, then somewhere along the way it became a way to fabricate moments to share online. Film takes me back to the original purpose, forces me to exercise patience, and puts me into the present moment.

• Start running again. I’m a fair weather runner, and the temps are finally cooling down enough to make it enjoyable. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed running, but it’s so helpful for my mental health that I’m excited to experience a runners high again (and to not be out of breath going up our stairs).

• Hike my favorite trails. Being outdoors is an essential need for me. Being in the woods, makes me feel connected and like I’m a part of nature (bc we are). Spending time in nature is scientifically proven to lower cortisol, improve blood pressure, and decrease stress. I want to make a conscious effort to get outside with my family and friends this season to connect to them, myself, and nature.

Recipes I’m Making:

One shift I’m wanting to make this season is to reignite my enjoyment of cooking. Lately, once I get to the evening, the last thing I feel like doing is getting in the kitchen. However, I always feel my best when we make healthy meals at home. I’m planning on shifting this by doing a bit of meal planning over the weekends to eliminate my decision making during the week. I’m also going to create a cooking ritual (find a good playlist, make myself a tasty drink, etc.) so it becomes something I look forward to.

Here are some of the autumn recipes I’m looking forward to making:

• Mushroom Soup with Gruyere Toast by Eden Eats

• Creamy Pumpkin Spaghetti with Garlic Kale by Pinch of Yum

• Cider Braised Chicken with Caramelized Onions by Half Baked Harvest

• Warm Harvest Grain Bowl with Chicken & Squash by Well Seasoned Studio

• Chipotle Tahini Bowls by Pinch of Yum

• Healthy Slow Cooker Chipotle Bean Chili by Half Baked Harvest

That’s a pretty solid list that has me so excited to fully immerse myself into Autumn. I’d love to know:

What is one way you plan on enjoying this season?

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It’s officially Autumn. I love this time of year, when light and dark are in balance. The crisp air. How the leaves begin to build towards their final crescendo as the various shades of green slowly start to pale before painting grey skies with vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows. What an exit. A beautiful lesson in letting go with flair.

This time of year also marks the beginning of a season full of gatherings. I appreciate how the dark invites us to move inward, towards each other. To cozy up together under low-lit dinners and huddle around bonfires as we’re collectively mesmerized by the flames licking up into the air.

I was born in Autumn. It’s only natural that this season always feels like coming home. I’m giddy as I exchange cool linen shirts for warm wool sweaters (often too soon, so giddy and sweaty).

Another thing I enjoy about this season is how it offers a fresh start. One that feels gentler than the frantic rush of a new year. Holding the wisdom it gained from the seasons past, it seems to whisper, You still have time, love.

I’ve made it an intention to live more seasonally this year. It connects me more to God, nature, and myself. It helps me honor my own ebbs and flows with more grace. It reminds me to be present in my daily life, while simultaneously honoring the ambition I have for my future. I’m convinced being deeply present in your current life is the best way to build a future you actually want to experience.

As a way to honor my current life and my future self, I’ve been doing seasonal rituals designed to honor the meaning of each new season. They give me an opportunity to make sure the way I’m using my time, energy, and resources aligns with my values and deepest desires.

Since Autumn symbolizes letting go, harvest, and transformation, for this ritual I’m asking myself questions like:

1. How can I, like the leaves, exit this year with a bit of flair?

2. What do I need to let go of in order to experience the life I want?

3. What would fully immersing myself in this season look like?

I recently took the members of my community through my Autumn Equinox Ritual, and I wanted to share a version of it with you so you can experience it as well. Here’s the ritual I use to honor Autumn and align myself with its themes:

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Set the Vibe

First, I recommend getting in a cozy space. Grabbing a warm drink, lighting your favorite fall candle, and putting on a playlist that sets the mood. Make sure you have your journal ready. If you want recommendations here are mine:

Fall Home Scent: Lafco’s Pumpkin Seed & Sandalwood Classic Candle

Fall Drink of Choice: Coffee with Chobani’s Sweet Cream creamer & a dash of cinnamon or Pumpkin Spice seasoning on top.

Playlist: This Cozy Coffee Shop playlist on Spotify:

Once you’re ready, settle into a comfortable space. Light a candle, grab your drink of choice, and open your journal. Take a few deep breaths and allow your body to arrive fully in this moment.

Autumn is a season of both abundance and release. It’s a time to enjoy the fruits of our efforts while letting go of what no longer serves us. This ritual is an invitation to pause, reflect, and align yourself with how you want to experience this remainder of the year.

Step 1: Reflect on the Summer Harvest

Close your eyes and think back to the season you’re leaving behind. Summer carries energy, play, and expansion. It’s important to acknowledge the growth, lessons, and life experiences that shaped you in that season.

Prompts:

• What growth, experiences, and opportunities did summer bring me?

• Where have I expanded the most in my life and business?

• What lessons did I learn from both successes and challenges?

• What can I celebrate as my harvest from this past season?

• What areas of my life feel out of balance and need recalibrating?

Take a few minutes to write down your answers, letting your words flow freely.

Step 2: Refine for Autumn

Autumn invites us to simplify. It’s an opportunity to shed what no longer serves us, so we can preserve our energy for what matters most. Just like the trees release their leaves, it’s time to let go of the weight that keeps you from feeling grounded and focused on abundance.

Prompts:

• What do I need to release in order to make space for what truly matters?

• How can I simplify my routines and commitments to feel more grounded?

• What is calling for my focus and deeper attention this season?

• How can I cultivate more balance between work, rest, and creativity?

• In what ways can I nurture and restore my energy before winter?

As you notice what feels heavy, acknowledge the impact it’s had on you and let it go. Imagine how much lighter you feel as it floats to the ground, like a leaf floating to the ground.

Step 3: Embody the Harvest + Call in What’s Still Possible

Think of the baskets full at harvest time: this is your reminder to acknowledge all the good you have in your life. Gratitude is necessary for abundance. When we train our minds to focus on the good we already have—on what’s possible—you’ll find yourself naturally discovering more.

Autumn also carries a renewed energy after the slowness of summer. In business and in life, it’s a chance for a final, intentional push before the year closes.

Prompts:

• What abundance am I experiencing right now that I want to fully savor?

• Where in my business or life do I feel renewed momentum and energy?

• What goals or dreams still feel alive for me in 2025?

• If I imagined these next four months as my most abundant yet, what would be possible?

• What support, structure, or energy do I need to carry me through this last push?

Write down 3 to 5 actions steps on the projects you want to complete by the end of the year. Place them somewhere you’ll see often, as a reminder that there is still time for meaningful progress.

Step 4: Practical Embodiment

Reflection is powerful, but embodiment is what weaves intention into everyday life. Think about how you want to feel and the actions you want to take this Autumn. How can you remind yourself and embody them in your daily routines?

Prompts:

• What seasonal shifts do I want to make in my daily rituals?

• How do I want to nourish my body in this new season?

• What cozy or grounding practices will help me transition into autumn with ease?

• What gatherings, events, or traditions will help me fully enjoy this season?

Ideas for Embodiment:

• Open your windows in the morning for 15 minutes with the intention of letting in fresh, abundant energy into your home and day.

• Start your morning with a quick visualization to help you connect to yourself and your intentions for the day.

• Add a journaling or evening ritual to wind down your days.

• Light your fall candle or play your fall music as you settle into work for the day to remind yourself of your intentions this season.

• Plan one or two intentional gatherings—dinners, book clubs, or creative sessions—that let you savor connection this season.

• Create an Autumn mood board and use that as your screen background. That way, every time you open your computer or phone, you’re visually reminded of what you want to experience this season.

Closing
Take one more deep breath. Thank yourself for pausing to honor this transition into a new season. Place your hand on your heart and acknowledge both the abundance you’re carrying and the clarity you’re stepping into.

Remind yourself: There is still time. The year is not over. The most abundant, aligned things may still be waiting for me in these next months.

Carry this energy with you as you step into autumn with intention, balance, and possibility.

Next week, I’ll be sharing my personal Autumn check list—what I’m reading, cooking, wearing, and planning—to ensure I have an intentional and meaningful season. I’d love to hear what’s on your list as well.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been in a bit of a creativity slump when it comes to my business. Writing for my business felt like pulling teeth. Inspiration for marketing was scarce. Every time I sat down to create, it felt like there was a huge block in the way.

At first, I chalked it up to overconsumption, chiding myself for being on my phone too much. And while my mindless scrolling is certainly something worth curtailing, I realized it wasn’t the root cause. Instead, it was that the things that used to motivate me and fuel my ambition weren’t working anymore.

For years, my ambition was powered by the unconscious desire to prove myself. The more aware I was of that wound, the sneakier the motivation got. I’d perform a version of me that I thought I needed to be. A version I thought the world wanted. Like many other women I know, I believed that if I did it well enough, I’d be rewarded through acceptance, approval, and love. As Elise Loehnen says in her book, On Our Best Behavior, “We are coached, above all, to prioritize our likability as the surest path to safety and survival.”

I took that programming into my business. When it came to my creativity, my questions were always outwardly focused:

What do people want to read or see from me?
Who do I need to be here? (any other enneagram 3’s?)
What does everyone else expect of me?

A part of me loved that game. It felt like a puzzle that I was always close to solving, but I could never find that one missing piece…

Now, the only thing those questions draw out of me is a heavy sigh, as the cracks in that old story split open into chasms.

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Not long ago, I was talking with a friend who had faced a life-altering health scare. She told me, “I realized I was just existing before. Now, I’m not satisfied with just existing or trying to please others. I’m completely out of eff’s to give. I feel like I’m actually living.”

It struck me how often it takes a monumental experience to wake us up. To strip away our illusions. To remind us that we’re the only ones who get to experience our lives, so we might as well build them with intention.

Her words reminded me of what becoming a mother had done for me: it stripped away the illusion that pleasing others was enough and showed me that living was about presence and intention. My energy had become a precious resource I could no longer waste on performing. Suddenly, chasing results for the sake of proving something no longer felt worth it.

What used to motivate me felt hollow. I needed a deeper reason to move forward and create.

For a while, I stopped forcing it. I grew quiet and started listening to a voice that had always been there, waiting in the background. Now, I’m letting that part of me lead. She values my own desires, my intuition, and the process itself. She’s giving me a new kind of ambition that feels grounded, meaningful, and sustainable in a way performance never did.

I recently told a friend, “I’m tired of being the product. I don’t want to be a ‘personal brand.’ I want to be a whole person who creates something bigger than herself.”

One thing I know for sure is that when you’re in business long enough, you’re going to get a lot of advice on how to succeed. Some of it is great advice. Like keeping your ideal customer top of mind. Getting clear on who you’re speaking to and knowing them inside and out. Make sure you create what they want. In some ways that’s good business advice.

But just because it’s good advice doesn’t mean it’s always the right advice for you. That approach is not currently working for me. My need and desire to create cannot be for the sole purpose of someone else, even though I care about them as well as my outcomes.

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Enter Emily Henry. On page 219 of Great Big Beautiful Life, one of her character’s talks about the merit of creative work:

“Just because something doesn’t make money or win awards doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value. Or doesn’t deserve to exist. The job is alchemy. You take a hunk of rock and you try to turn it into gold, and the gold isn’t even really the point.

The goal is permanence. Not, like, having your name on the side of an airplane or skyscraper. But bringing something intangible into the world that can live on without you. Something bigger than the person who made it. And even then, the goal is secondary to the process. The process is for us. It changes us in ways that can’t be measured.”

I had a full-body reaction when I read those words. That’s what I’d been missing.

It’s so easy to focus on the results–they’re tangible after all–rather than the process. And that fixation stops us from showing up. How many ideas are collecting dust in forgotten notebooks because we’re not sure if they’ll “work”? How many brilliant pieces of art never make it into the world because we want a guarantee, or if we’re being honest, a fast payout?

In a world hooked on short term gratification, we miss out on creating things that mean more. And worse, we miss out on becoming more genuine versions of ourselves.

Motherhood has been a reminder of what Henry’s words revealed: the process is the point. Raising a child doesn’t have a quick payout. It’s not about perfection (thankfully), and there’s definitely a lack of certainty. The beauty and transformation live in the process itself. Creativity is the same.

It’s what you discover in the process of writing that matters.
It’s what you learn as you’re building the business that lasts a lifetime.
It’s who you become as you paint the canvas that reveals the masterpiece.

As wonderful as the results can be, the process of becoming is the whole point.

So now, I’m asking myself different questions:

• What do YOU want to create?

• Who do YOU want to become in the process?

• What is calling to you right now?

My answers feel both wholesome and indulgent. They usually spark follow-up questions that remind me this growth is ongoing: Is this allowed? Will it work? (Oh look, there I go again focusing on results.)

I can’t help but wonder if I focused more on the process, on who I’m becoming within it, then those results might pleasantly surprise me. Maybe I’ll actually benefit in abundant ways from trusting myself and letting intuition lead.

Every time I’ve created from this place, it’s given me more than I expected, in both tangible and intangible ways.

Which makes me believe that maybe the old ambition has to die so this new one can lead me to wherever I’m meant to go.

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I frequently remind my clients that their path to success will be unique to them. In fact, that’s the whole point. Your path is unique because it’s meant to shape you. To help you discover who you want to be and make the contributions only you can make. The process of creation is not about the end result, but discovering who you are along the way.

That’s what I’m practicing (messily) now. Tuning in, quieting the noise, and trusting the answers will come from within. Remembering that the process isn’t just what makes the work, it’s what makes us.

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If you want to start every day feeling grounded and connected to your intuition, click here to download my free 7-day Mindset Toolkit—a powerful ritual designed to help ambitious women step into their next level self.

I’m Jennifer Diaz—a high performance mindset coach helping ambitious women lead confidently as they grow sustainable, values-aligned businesses.

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We are greeted and encouraged to smell any and all samples of their perfumes and candles. It feels like stepping directly into the lab where they macerate and mix their formulas by hand.

The wabi-sabi interior is more than just an aesthetic. The exposed pipes and chipped paint tell a story of honoring the beauty of natural processes and imperfection.

This is how Le Labo differentiates itself from other fragrance houses. Instead of speaking to opulence and flawlessness, they evoke a sense of authenticity.

From the walls of the interior to the labels on each bottle, you'll find intentional imperfection. They go beyond just creating a brand. Le Labo is creating a world.

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What world building means for your business

If you’re a fellow fantasy reader, you’re familiar with the concept of world building. If not, it’s how authors create immersive, believable universes for their stories to unfold.

This can apply to business too.

In business, world building is intentionally creating an environment where people don’t just consume your work. They feel a part of what you’re doing. They have a sense of belonging.

It’s the difference between someone scrolling past your post and someone stepping into your world and wanting to stay a while.

After working primarily online for the past five years, I’ve realized how much I miss certain aspects of being in person with people. One of those being how much I love creating an intentional environment.

Last week, when Callum's speech pathologist arrived for our weekly appointment, she sighed and said, “It feels so peaceful in your home, it's such a nice change after being at a school all day.”

I'm still on a high from that compliment.

It reminded me of one of my (many) romanticized dreams of opening up a storefront. I imagine bookshelves of fiction and nonfiction, cozy chairs, a corner where you can buy coffee or tea, a counter where you can discover your signature scent. I’d host book clubs, workshops, and meditation classes. Basically, a space where all my favorite things could come together to help people live well and connect more deeply with themselves.

A brick and mortar isn't in my plans right now, but I’ve started asking myself: How can I create an intentional world in my online business?

For me, a lot of this work is happening inside my membership. I’m creating a space where members don’t just log in and scroll through modules, they step into an experience. From guided visualizations and journaling prompts, to breathwork and even short reprogramming practices, the goal is to make it feel like a ritual each time they enter. Like opening the door to a place where they belong.

Questions to ask yourself

The concept of world building can be a powerful exercise for entrepreneurs. Instead of viewing yourself as just a “brand” that solves a problem, think about inviting your people into an experience that reflects your full self and your values. One that offers genuine connection.

Some questions you can begin asking yourself:

• What world do I want to invite my clients and customers into?

• How do I want them to feel when they land on my website or social media?

• How do I treat them when they’re in my presence?

• What’s the feeling I want them to carry after working with me?

• If my business were a storefront, what music would be playing? What scent would fill the air? What details would make them want to stay? And why?

Try this for yourself. Imagine your business as a physical space, and notice what comes up. Doing this exercise can open up your creativity and, much like Le Labo, set yourself apart from others in your field.

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And if you’re in my mindset membership, I have a guided visualization that walks you through this exercise.

I’ve also been playing with this idea in smaller ways on social media. For example, instead of only posting tips or strategies, I share glimpses of my own rituals. The candle I light before writing, or the journal prompt I use to reset my mindset. Those details aren’t just “content,” they’re invitations into the larger world I’m creating. My goal is to help people feel what it’s like to be here with me, not just learn from me.

Where businesses fall short

You might already be doing pieces of this. But here’s where I often see the gaps:

• No clear invitation. The storefront looks beautiful, but no one knows how or when to walk inside. You share great content, but you never actually invite people to work with you or join your list.

• A missing welcome. My client once described her business this way: “The store looks great and I invite them in—but once they’re inside, it’s like no one’s at the front desk.” For her, that meant her emails were inconsistent, so new subscribers weren’t sure if they belonged.

It’s easy to think online business runs by different rules. But brick-and-mortar shops remind us that people want to be welcomed, guided, and cared for in the spaces they step into.

I shared this thought process with a client a couple of weeks ago and it gave her so many ideas of how to shift and improve her marketing (without burning it all down and starting from scratch).

The joy of creating your own world

Approaching your business this way can feel fun and creative. As someone who isn't always a fan of the typical marketing tactics, this process is helping me enjoy working on my business.

I’ve had so much fun reimagining my coaching and membership as a place where the practices themselves become part of the environment. Where clients and members can step in and feel held, inspired, and connected to their goals, and to who they’re becoming in the process.

So many of the women I work with desire to create a meaningful impact. Marketing should go beyond understanding the pain points and desires of your potential clients, to creating an experience that leaves them feeling seen, valued, and excited to share about it.

What kind of world do you want to create for your clients? What are your values? How do you want them to feel when they engage?

I hope you’ll create a world you actually enjoy being in.

I’d love to know: If your business had a store front what scent would you use and what type of music would you play in the background? Let me know in the comments below.

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Again and again, it flies into the glass trying to get to the trees just outside.

Can you imagine how maddening it would be for your view of freedom to be completely unobstructed, only for an impenetrable barrier to prevent you from reaching it?

I hate flies. I think they’re gross and the last place I want to see one is in my home. But, my two-year-old son doesn’t yet understand the importance of keeping a door closed, so here we are.

Normally, I would channel my inner Detective Rosa and kill it. It would be easy, now that it’s exhausted itself after so many unsuccessful attempts at escaping. But this time I can’t bring myself to do it.

I get up with a sigh and open the door. I try to shoo it outside, but it keeps circling back to the window, unwilling to let go.

It can’t see that the only way it will survive is to turn away from what it thinks it wants, to embrace uncertainty for a moment and follow the path it’s being guided on.

“I’m trying to help you!!!” I yell (yes, at a fly), before resorting to trapping it in a jar. I walk the five steps from the window to the open door, release it, and watch with satisfaction as it finally reaches the tree.

I stand there for a moment, thinking about how dumb the fly is, how unnecessary its fear and confusion. How if it only had courage and faith it wouldn’t have wasted so much energy. How it could’ve been a smoother process.

It’s not until I sit back down at my desk that it hits me: I’m not really frustrated with a fly.

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I’ve learned that when I have a strong reaction to something—whether I’m drawn to it or disgusted by it—it’s a sign to pay attention. When I look into those reactions with a sense of curiosity, I usually discover something about myself.

In this case, a part of me is like the fly. A part that’s frantically buzzing toward what I want, aching for freedom and fulfillment, yet held back by what feels like an unbreakable barrier. One that changes depending on the day but usually sounds something like:

• “If only I had more time…”

• “I just need more money…”

• “Once I have more knowledge…”

But unlike the fly, I’m capable of turning away from the glass.

I can muster up the courage, however shaky it may be, to turn away from the window and all I think I know, and trust that I’m being benevolently guided to an open door where I’ll discover the freedom and fulfillment I’ve been craving.

Maybe you’re there too. You know what you want, but you’re bumping against the same glass, convinced there’s only one way forward.

As Rumi once put it, "As you start to walk on the way, the way appears."

What might you see if you stepped back from the window? What could you shift if you had just a little bit more courage and faith?

And what might you discover if, instead of looking outside yourself for your path, you turned inward and followed that quiet voice leading you to the door?

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If you’re tired of feeling stuck and are ready to move forward in a way that supports your values and goals, click here to learn more about 1-1 coaching.

I get it. For many service providers, marketing yourself over and over again can feel uncomfortable. The fear of rejection is a heavy weight that, at best, slows you down, and at worst, stops you in your tracks.

Have you ever held back from sharing your work out of fear of being “too much” or “annoying” or (God forbid) “cringe”?

Your goals are important to you, and you feel called to make an impact through your work, but you're holding yourself back from boldly taking action because your fear of judgement and rejection is SO LOUD.

So you try to move forward while also protecting yourself, which looks like feigning nonchalance while making half-hearted attempts towards your goals.

Meanwhile, all you're doing is keeping yourself stuck and letting the potential opinion of others determine your results.

Results you dream about experiencing, like:

• Getting paid well to do work you love

• Having confidence in your ability to run a successful business

• Making a positive impact on others

• Feeling proud of yourself

• Experiencing fulfillment in your daily life..

Results that are possible when you dare to fully try.

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Speaking from my own experience, it can be scary and vulnerable to be seen trying. To put yourself out there over and over and over again. You have to continually step out into uncertainty with courage, trusting that the path will appear. And if it doesn’t, knowing you’re capable of getting back up, dusting yourself off, and choosing to take another step.

Remember, the sting of rejection is not only possible, it's part of the process. Which is one reason why success requires intentional mindset shifts.

If you're holding yourself back from growing your business or going after something you really want in your life, because you're afraid of being annoying or cringe, you're probably doing two things:

1. Thinking about yourself way too much.
Like my client, I bet the service or product you offer genuinely serves your customers wellbeing. When people sign up or buy it, it transforms their lives in meaningful ways. Shifting your perspective to how important your work is for others can dampen fear and help you show up confidently.

2. Creating negative stories about what will happen.
Your brain loves to fill in gaps with stories. Storytelling is powerful, not just in marketing but in human culture. We pass down beliefs, values, and fears through stories. And the stories you now tell yourself have the greatest influence on your life.

We’re also naturally wired for negativity bias because our brains keep us safe by alerting us to potential dangers. It takes intentional effort to rewire your mindset. To replace fear with courage and doubt with faith in your purpose and capabilities.

So, when negative scenarios start to fill those gaps in times of uncertainty, instead of thinking, “If I email again, they’ll be annoyed,” or “No one will respond,” pause and remember that you might not be able to fully control the outcome, but you can control your narrative.

Imagine what would change if your story about taking the next bold action was, “This could be what actually moves my dream client or customer to take action,” or “This product will make their life so much easier.”

I gave my client, who was experiencing that fear, a challenge: Talk about your offer so much that you start feeling annoyed by yourself. Then, we’ll work through that feeling together.

We’ll embrace the discomfort, rewrite that story in your mind, and help your nervous system expand so that taking up more space feels safer.

And she did. She sent more emails and kept showing up. Instead of focusing on fear and uncertainty, she focused on the value she knew she could provide and how that would benefit her clients. She worked through her story and rewired her mindset.

After a few weeks of consistent action, she messaged me to share that someone signed up for her offer. I was so proud of her. Not only was it a win for her business, but the fact that she pushed past her discomfort and stayed consistent helped rewire her mindset. The best part about that is, when she needs to show up boldly in the future, it will feel so much easier.

It was beautiful proof that, by showing up with courage and perseverance, she is capable of creating the success and results she desires.

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This reminded me of a recent email I received from someone. I’d reached out to her months ago because I was curious about her services but didn't immediately book a call.

She kept reaching out with thoughtful follow-ups, and I never once thought, “Ugh, she's so annoying.” Instead, I thought, “Oh, I’ve been meaning to book a call, but life got busy!”

Last week, we finally found a time to connect, and we're working on something together soon that I’m very excited about.

Growth is uncomfortable. Expansion feels hard. But when you remember that your goals aren’t just about achievement, but also the value you offer and the impact you can make, you’ll find the courage you need to keep showing up.

So let your new story be that, every time you choose to show up and boldly go after your goals, you get one step closer to making the life you dream about become your reality.

I’m cheering you on.

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If you want to embody the most confident, successful, and authentic version of yourself, click below and I’ll send you a free guided visualization to help you step into your Ideal Self in 10-minutes.

Have you ever felt resistance to something you know you need to do? Maybe you even WANT to do it, but for some reason, you just can’t seem to take action.

You want to grow your business, but instead of showing up and selling boldly, you keep holding back because you’re afraid to “annoy” potential clients.

You want to feel more energetic and focused, but instead of going to bed earlier, you stay up too late doomscrolling (personally working on this one).

You want to implement a new strategy in your business, but instead of taking action to see how well it works, you only focus on all the reasons it won't work for you.

Feeling stuck in resistance is so frustrating. You might even be asking yourself: “What’s wrong with me?!”

That’s what my client (let’s call her Layla) said to me a few days after one of our sessions.

She was leveling up in her business in some major ways. Basically shifting her entire marketing strategy and letting go of parts of her business that were no longer aligned with who she was or what she wanted.

In addition to working on her mindset, we were creating tangible strategies she could implement to help her succeed in a way that felt good for her.

To say there were a LOT of changes going on at once would be an understatement.

So when she reached out to me after the session and said, “I feel so resistant to these shifts. I’m telling myself that you’re frustrated with me as your client.”

As her coach, I was glad she felt comfortable enough to push back and share this with me. I knew exactly what needed to happen so she could move past this resistance.

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But first, here’s what NOT to do:

I understand on a personal level how annoying it is when a part of you is resistant to doing something that will help you reach goals you really do want.

It could be so easy to blame yourself. It’s tempting to doubt your goals and potential. While I’m all for taking full ownership over our businesses and results, now is not the time to beat yourself up.

I don’t even want you asking yourself questions like:

• Is this resistance a sign that my goals aren't aligned?

• Do I even have what it takes?

• What's wrong with me?

• Do I want it badly enough?

When you go down that path, you risk an unnecessary spiral into self-doubt—and even worse, shame.

Instead of blaming yourself, I want you to start thinking about your resistance in a neutral and curious way.

What if your resistance was not only normal but a GOOD thing?

If you’re thinking, "Jen, how could resistance to something I really want be a good thing?”

I’m so glad you asked! Because, while it may feel like resistance, it might actually be reactance.

In Psychological Reactance Theory, the "goal" of you reactance is to preserve your freedom and autonomy. One of the most important universal needs we have as humans is our freedom to choose.

When you feel like you “should” do something, or even when someone well-meaning gives you advice, if you subconsciously feel like you “have” to make that change, there’s a part of you that wants to retain your freedom and choice. So it rebels.

It’s so common for driven entrepreneurs to have an inner teenager inside, hell-bent on protecting and establishing your freedom. After all, most of us start working for ourselves because we don’t want anyone else telling us what to do. 😬

When I was initially being trained as a coach about a decade ago, I learned that when my clients showed signs of resistance:

The clients are not the problem.
My approach as a coach was.

It wasn’t that they were unwilling or unmotivated to make changes. I needed to change my strategy as a coach.

So when Layla came to me feeling resistant, I knew exactly what I needed to do: honor and work with her autonomy.

I immediately let her know that, despite the story she was telling herself, I was NOT judging her in the slightest. She wasn’t the problem at all. I was so grateful she shared how she was feeling with me because that allowed me to own that and shift my strategy as her coach to better serve her.

In our next coaching session, we wiped the strategy slate clean, and I asked her a series of simple, powerful questions that allowed her to come up with her own customized strategy that felt aligned and exciting for her to implement.

A couple of days later, she messaged me again, this time to tell me how easy it felt for her to show up and take action toward her goals. She sounded excited and confident in her new direction, which was chef’s kiss to hear as her coach.

You can coach yourself through your own resistance like this too.

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First, notice how you’re feeling and get curious about your resistance to see if it’s actually reactance.

Then, investigate what “freedoms” might feel threatened. Was it the suggested strategy or the way it was delivered that’s causing you to push back? Take away the pressure to follow the advice and remind yourself of what you really want.

Finally, remind yourself that the choice is yours. You are the expert of your business and your life. You get to choose how you want to move forward.

This can help you see if the suggestion you received was actually out of alignment with your values, or if you felt reactive and needed a reframe.

Below are some of the questions I ask my clients (and myself) when feelings of resistance pop up:

1. What freedoms or choices might your resistance be protecting?

2. If you let go of any “shoulds” what would you choose to do?

3. What would the wisest version of you do?

4. What would a response based on your values look like?

5. Where in your life do you feel like your choices are being limited right now?

6. If I trusted myself fully, how would I respond to this situation?

7. Imagine that you've taken that action. What do you imagine the positive outcomes would be?

8. Why are those outcomes important to you?

9. What would your next step be?

Next time you receive advice or suggestions that sound great, but you feel resistant to it, dive into those questions above to see what the best way forward is for you.

You may find yourself feeling even more motivated and confident to take action. Your sense of self-trust will also be strengthened, which, in my opinion, is one of the most important skills you can have as an entrepreneur or creative.

What area of your business or life are you feeling resistant in, that you’d like to move through?

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If you’ve been feeling resistance in an area of your business or life and want to make a powerful shift towards action, click below and I’ll send you an album of free Guided Visualizations designed to help you rewire your mindset for more success.