Many of the new systems in my classroom were objectively successful. Students were quick to reuse art supplies and write on both sides of the paper. A full-blown recycling station in the back of my room received dozens of contributions from teenagers bringing in printer cartridges and Sharpies from home for bulk collections. And a few, like an administration-supported emphasis on technology over paper-and-pencil, I wouldn’t choose again.

But as a low-waste teacher or a parent trying to make it through the year without a mountain of school supplies destined for landfill, it all starts with the supplies your students lug to their lockers in August.

Honestly, it’s gotten significantly harder to find low waste school supplies over the last several years. The same economic forces that have devastated so many other small businesses have come for the low-waste school supply industry as well (and, it seems, many other low-waste product lines).

Before you give up and go on a vinyl-binder-buying frenzy…

There are still some low-plastic options. And unlike the plastic-heavy options, many of these will last for several school years.

First, use what you have. When I was teaching, I collected multiple bins of locker discards every year— binders, practically untouched colored pencils and glue sticks, spiral notebooks with only a few pages used. I know it’s tricky when school supply lists require “1.5 inch red binder with 4 dividers” and other absurdly specific requests. But everybody will, in fact, survive with last year’s colored pencils.

(As an incentive to send kids with re-used school supplies, consider calculating the cost of new supplies and offering to spend that money on something your kiddo would rather have instead).

If you are just starting your school supply journey, or need to refill your supply, here are some lower-waste options:

An all-stainless steel lunch box from Planet Box. Our kids are obsessed with the magnet decorations! (And, I’m obsessed with their plastic-free, glass +silicone kitchen storage containers).

Zero Waste Binder from Wisdom Supply Co.— no thank you to the yucky chemicals in vinyl binders. If you prefer a (pricier) metal option, Tuffbinder is made from primarily recycled aluminum.

Spiral notebooks from Decomposition, made from 100% recycled paper. Unfortunately, the spirals are not curbside recyclable— but you can rip the paper out and recycle it at the end of the year. You can also use notebooks that lie flat— I’m still using my Wisdom Supply Co. notebooks (discontinued), but Decompositions non-spiral notebooks look comparable.

Most pencils are lined with plastic, shedding microplastics when you sharpen them. Not so with these unlacquered colored pencils from Wisdom Supply Co. (Once upon a time, they sold traditional pencils as well. I was lucky to stock up before their supply disappeared). Unlaquered pencils are especially great for kiddos who bite their pencils. We pair our pencils with Onyx+ rubber erasers.

A pack of 25 recycled paper folders from Oxford’s Earthwise line is a great staple— also available in a multi-color pack.

We love the paint supplies from Elsewhere Unplug (you might recognize them under their former name, Eco Kids). The brushes and watercolor pencils are fantastic for little hands. I’m not sure how well their products scale to more ‘advanced’ artists though (would love if you have feedback from older children!).

Honeystick beeswax crayons are my favorite for little hands— and a great option for daycare or preschool!— but I unfortunately find they lack the ‘color-richness’ of Crayola for older kids.

Lined paper without a layer of plastic shrink wrap should be easy to find, but somehow isn’t? This paper is recycled + chlorine-free, but still comes with plastic. Target has an option for 100% recycled printer paper.

Opt for a stainless steel ruler rather than a plastic one (unless, of course, you already have a plastic ruler… then, use what you have!).

Chances are, you are expected to send tissues before the first snotty noses in September. Studies have found a truly disturbing number of PFAS in paper products— but Grove Co. tissues are sturdy options without the forever chemicals. (Their travel packs are also plastic free).

Think beyond the school supplies

If you are a parent with a particular eco-conscious bent— it never hurts to offer to collaborate with your student’s teacher or the PTA. In many cases, parent interest and activism is a necessary ‘precursor’ before a teacher is allowed to make any big changes to their classroom supply lists or routines.

If you hold a position of authority— from the PTA to the school board— there’s somewhere to start even before school supplies: The lunchroom is probably your school’s largest source of waste. Are the trays styrofoam? (literally, why?) Are the sandwiches all offered in dreaded plastic clamshell containers? Does your district offer metal silverware, or are lots of forks lonely on their way to landfill?

You’ll also want to consider water fountain placement— are there water fountains down every main hallway? Can children reasonably fill their water bottles between classes? This can be contentious because plastic water bottle sales are apparently serious sources of revenue for many schools— but every filtered water fountain saves literally thousands of water bottles from languishing in landfill every year.

Meet me in the comments: Are you getting ready for back to school season? What tips and tricks do you have for making the year slightly less ‘trashy’?

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But what I’m struck by here is the repeated use of ‘deals.’ And listen, there’s nothing like spending hours of my one wild and precious life comparing prices and trying a half dozen promo codes to save $5 on an order of shampoo. But companies are using the term ‘deals’ as though consumers are expected to immediately succumb to the shopping frenzy.

I think part of the appeal of ‘Deal Days’ is the idea that we get to pull one over on the big guys. Look at how much money I saved! (Never mind how much money I spent). And it’s all the better when the deals are easily presented on the home page— or better yet, customized to our exact prior shopping habits!

But y’all, Amazon reported a net profit of $30.3 billion in the first quarter of 2026. We aren’t pulling a fast one on a multi-billion dollar company by clicking “add to cart.”

Yes, Amazon has a few ‘loss leaders.’ This year, Amazon’s own tech and some groceries appear to be the things sold roughly at-cost to lure shoppers in. But I’m pretty sure we will all survive without investing in a Fire stick or an Alexa. These devices raise serious privacy concerns, but they also are also explicitly designed to increase our reliance on the Amazon eco-system and drive more Prime memberships.

Most of the ‘deals’ on Amazon— and Target, and Walmart— aren’t really ‘deals’ at all. And the question none of these retailers want us to stop and ask is: Do I really need this? Will this add tangible value to my life?

Every day, we encounter thousands of advertisements trying to sell us on products, brands, and ideas. We are sold wipe warmers and air fryers, heatless curlers and disposable towels. We are sold smart doorbells and portable neck fans. All of these promise, somehow, to improve our life, even though I’m honestly not sure how. Or perhaps, sometimes, there is no promise to improve our life; merely the assurance that a shiny new toy will distract us from anything else we might be facing.

But before clicking ‘add to cart,’ it pays to ask ourselves a few questions:

What problem is this solving? Is it a real or invented problem?

As an example, here’s a real problem: I don’t have a single vessel from which to drink liquid. Compare this with an invented problem: My hot coffee becomes room temperature if I don’t drink it fast enough. (Conveniently solved by an almost-certainly flammable Smart Mug)

Do I own anything else that can meet this need? Do I have a dozen other black dresses, or a suitcase that will work just as well?

Is this a one-time or short-term need, where it might make sense to borrow instead of buy? Baby gear, beach tents (if you aren’t a frequent beach-goer), and specialized lawn gear are just a few examples.

None of these mean that you can’t ‘treat yourself.’ But they are intended to put some friction between you and your shopping cart, to help make sure that you are being intentional with your purchases. And, I’m of the general opinion that treating yourself means getting a yummy coffee or a dinner out, not scrolling some billionaire’s website for plastic junk.

It’s worth mentioning, too: Answering every single one of these questions is easier as you better calibrate the things you own to the life you are actually living. If you are ruthless in editing the things that are already in your home, you’ll likely realize that you use only a fraction of the things you already own. And once you have a better sense of ‘enough’… well, Deal Days won’t sound like such a good deal.

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I’m still not a fan of long drive-thru lines or Amazon Prime culture or DoorDash-ing takeout. (I will, in fact, drive the 20 minutes to pick up my own pizza, thank you very much).

But on the issue of grocery pick up specifically, I’ve changed my mind. With three-kids-under-six, grocery stores have gradually become something of a hellscape.

In part, the shift has come about because everyone else doing grocery pick up has made grocery stores… well, pretty miserable. Every aisle I try to venture down is filled with giant bins for pick-up orders, and that cart is inevitably blocking the pasta sauce.

To make matters worse, efforts to reduce employee hours mean that most checkout lanes sit empty. On a recent Aldi trip, the credit card machines went down— with no timeline to bring them back up— and it took well over 10 minutes for the three (kind, overworked) staffers in the building to bring up a single machine that could handle cash. By then, the line practically wrapped around the store. And even on a good day, there’s never more than one cashier and a couple self checkout lanes open for business.

There is also the issue of children functioning in the store. Whenever reasonable, I try to include my kiddos in the tasks of daily living. My middle child loves to help me bake; my oldest is a pro at folding the towels. But it’s really, really hard to supervise 3 kids in a store, where half the aisles are designed to capture their attention and interest. There’s even academic studies that suggest children are specifically targeted by food and beverage companies— to the tune of nearly $2 billion in advertising costs per year. (And, of course, that says nothing about the Squishmallows and other plastic trinkets that line the aisles).

I’m told that at a local grocery store, there used to be a Kids’ Club where children could play while parents grocery shopped. I have never experienced such a thing (and I imagine it to be a super-spreading nightmare during flu season), but that is nonetheless a tangible solution that would make the grocery shopping experience more manageable.

It’s also a tangible solution if a store repairs broken seat straps on the infant seat— or better yet, installs a five-point harness my toddler can’t climb out of. It’s a structural change to offer more than one or two checkout lanes at a given time— or even a ‘fast-pass’ style checkout option for parents with young children. (I’m not, to be clear, suggesting that a parent’s time is more valuable than anyone else’s… rather that we are running on borrowed time before someone starts sobbing in the cereal aisle).

In the desire to maximize profits, retailers are perhaps upping the ‘convenience’ factor with grocery pick up…. but also cutting the very services that made it more pleasant to actually walk into the store.

And, of course, there’s the issue of walkability. If I could stroll through a little downtown for all my errands, great! Wonderful! But I live in the suburbs. A recent series of stops— the bank, the library, some groceries, etc.— meant buckling and unbuckling three children from the car no less than five times. That’s 30 buckles (3 kids x 5 buckle ups + 3 kids x 5 unbuckles). And let me tell you, the time and frustration adds up. I’m not a shopping person at all, but I’d much rather have a shopping ‘experience’ of sorts… that’s what makes wandering Saturday morning farmer’s markets so magical, screaming toddlers and all.

We pivoted briefly to my husband doing the grocery shopping; quite frankly, this was a disaster. I was still making the grocery lists, including marking the lists with aisle numbers and sending pictures of the exact product when necessary. I had to be by my phone to field questions about the dozen other things he found wandering the aisles— sure, I can cook scallops; no, I don’t want premade chicken— and nearly every time, something was left at the store. Sometimes, that meant it was completely overlooked on the list; other times, it was an entire bag of groceries left at the checkout lane. I’m not judging because been there, done that but the system just wasn’t working.

I think, too, I’m recognizing the importance of rest. And, I’m recognizing the importance of my children— especially my girls— witnessing my rest. Rest is something of a holy grail in the sustainability world— synonymous with slowing down, being content with what you have, etc. etc. All of which is a lovely sentiment, but doesn’t necessarily take into account the realities of parenting three young children (and homeschooling, and finishing up a book project, and, y’know, eating real food and getting more than a few hours of sleep).

None of this is to say that I’m actually implementing rest yet, merely that the intention is there. I had a bit of a health scare recently, and my oldest seems somewhat concerned that I’m fragile now. She broke a dish while buttering her toast the other morning. When I bent over to pick up the pieces she shrieked, “Don’t get hurt, mommy! You JUST got out of the hospital!” Never mind that the ‘hospital stays’ were nothing more than an ER visit and a quick outpatient procedure. But after watching my oldest fret, I realized that I never really saw my own mom actually rest and recuperate. So when something inevitably has to give, I’d rather it be grocery shopping than time with family or friends.

So, I’m still going into the store, sometimes. If it’s nowhere near nap time— and everybody has had their snacks— there’s a pretty good chance we can make it out without tears. Food co-ops and farmer’s markets are still fair game. But I’m also giving myself the grace to understand that sometimes, in some seasons, something has to give. And in this case, that something has to be grocery shopping.

(And lest we fret about plastic waste— some retailers, like Target, let you click “Bring your own bags.” Others, like Aldi, use paper bags. If your nearby store still uses plastic, try reaching out— Kroger, in particular, could use some consumer pressure. In 2018, they promised to phase out plastic bags by 2025; that promise seems to have fallen flat).

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Of course, we returned home to 40 degree weather— we literally went to the zoo in our winter coats— but still, the beach vacation reminded me that summer is right around the corner. And the thing about summer is that it tends to sneak up on you. One day you’re in your winter coats, and the next you realize that you forgot to buy non-toxic sunscreen. To help the last-minute scramble— and the research none of us really want to do— here’s a roundup of less toxic summer basics.

UV Rays, Ticks, and Mosquitoes, oh my!

Sunscreen— In the last few years, sunscreen in a tin has gone (nearly) mainstream. Babo Botanicals is a solid option, but Badger is our favorite (including the kids’ sunscreen stick— I use it on my face all the time too!).

After-Sun Gel— Most green-colored ‘aloe rubs’ in the store have approximately no aloe, and plenty of fake coloring. The Badger after-sun gel, however, is fantastic. Despite my best attempts to apply sunscreen rigorously, I use this gel pretty much every beach trip when I somehow miss a spot.

Non-Toxic Bug Spray— We like Trek (it actually smells good!), Murphy’s Naturals, and Badger bug spray. I also use NatPats tick stickers for an extra layer of protection when we hike.

Prepping for the sun? I’m not a tanning girly myself— but if you are, Saltyface is a non-toxic option. The company is a member of the 1% for the Planet initiative and I was impressed by the clean ingredient list. Saltyface apparently had a solid run on BeautyTok, but mostly I’m just obsessed with the ingenuity of their April Fool’s prank.

And because suns out, toes out… consider a less-toxic nail polish while you are at it. Zoya has been my nail polish pick for years— it’s not the absolutely least toxic option on the market, but it’s the most durable of the safer options (in my personal experience).

In the Backyard

Pass the S’mores— I’m not here to judge your chocolate choices, but marshmallows? Many marshmallows contain color additives because a pinch of purple food coloring actually makes things appear more white (it offsets the yellow). Skip the artificial dye with an option like Dandies. These vegan marshmallows actually melt like a ‘traditional’ marshmallow, and taste virtually the same. 10/10 swap. Instead of a roasting stick with a nonstick coating, opt for a plain stainless steel pick.

Drinking from the water hose? I hate to break the news to you, but your garden hose probably sucks. Specifically, it’s probably leaching lead, phthalates, and BPA. But, some hoses— made of polyurethane rather than PVC— are labeled ‘drinking water safe’ and ‘phthalate-free.’ The Filtery has a full hose round up here; we are eyeing an Eley hose to replace our current broken one.

On the Sand

One of my pet peeves in beach towns is the abundance of cheap beach toys in discount boardwalk stores. These toys inevitably end up broken in the sand or unceremoniously discarded in the trash. When we travel, we don’t buy cheap beach toys. We often pick up discarded toys on the beach and enjoy them for the week (some beaches even have boxes to leave toys at the end of the week— if you live in a beach town, bring this one up with your city council!). And, we’ve taken to bringing a few of our favorites from home:

Go digging— in the backyard sandbox or the beach— with the Green Toys Dump Truck. Any dump truck will do, of course, but if you’re in the market for one, these are free of yucky stuff like BPA and phthalates. Bonus points for the variety of color options, including pink and purple.

Scrunch Buckets are our travel VIPs. These buckets fold super small for travel of all sorts (even planes!).

Most beach balls are made of yucky plasticizers, but at least these are phthalate-free.

And for lounging? Skip the plastic and ‘waterproof backing’ style beach towels and picnic blankets. These SandCloud blankets are soooo soft, with a sand-resistant weave and beautiful designs. Not sponsored, just enamored.

Other Kids’ Gear

Unfortunately, even bubbles aren’t safe from yucky chemicals. Look for unscented bubbles at minimum. But for a truly non-toxic option, try Bubble Tree. These make the absolute best bubbles and come in a refillable aluminum can.

Sidewalk chalk matters too! Not only are kids getting chalk all through their clothes and hair, but rain washes chalk right into the ground and waterways… and takes any yucky plastics or contaminants right along with it. Elsewhere Unplug’s chalk is a great option.

And with all the fun outside, keep in mind that plastic toys leach more chemicals when exposed to the sun. Of course, you aren’t going to be hauling your entire playset indoors— but we do try to pull our smaller toys back to the covered porch when we are done playing. There’s also a cool (and scary) kids’ science experiment to do with your littles about the effect of sunlight on their toys!

If you’re setting up a kiddie pool, you’ll want a phthalates free one as well. Our MinniDip inflatable pool has lasted several seasons and some questionable pre-k antics.

Swim Gear

Reusable, OEKO-TEX certified swim wear and rash guards. Green Sprouts, Hanna Andersson, and Carter’s all have nontoxic options (though Carter’s only recently transitioned to OEKO-TEX certified materials, so secondhand products might not meet the same standard).

Instead of throwaway swim diapers, try a reusable (non-toxic!) option like Green Sprouts.

To be perfectly honest, I haven’t found many sustainable women’s swimwear options I love, but apparently these ladies have! Here is a full list of sustainable men’s options.

My family swims a lot— my girls especially— and we’ve never used a special swim shampoo before, but their hair is starting to show breakage from all the chlorine! I’ve ordered this swim friendly shampoo bar that will hopefully help. Babo Botanicals also has a liquid swim shampoo that has a decent EWG rating.

Don’t overlook shoe safety! Many summer, swim-friendly shoes are, well, plastic— and they often leach endocrine-disrupting chemicals that interfere with hormones and even your brain! Studies have found the highest levels of phthalates in ‘off-brand’ style shoes (think, Croc knock-offs… and, Croc Jibbitz). Native seems to be the safest water shoe on the market. They are free of BPA and phthalates— and, having worn mine for several seasons, I can attest they are comfortable and durable.

Anything I missed? Let me know if there’s anything else you need recommendations for— or any suggestions you have!— in the comments!

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But, it’s Earth Day. And who wants to spend Earth Day pouting? I certainly don’t.

So today, my ask of you is simple: Touch grass. Literally, go outside and enjoy nature. Even if it’s just coffee on a blanket in your back yard. Even if it’s just a barefoot stroll to your mailbox. If you’re feeling ambitious, visit a botanical garden or go for a hike. If you live near a beach (jealous!!), dip your toes in the sand. Savor nature so you’ll have a better connection with the very thing you are trying to protect.

So much of convenience culture is antithetical to community and to savoring— not to mention protecting— nature. I notice this everywhere, but perhaps most acutely in beach towns.

My girls and I make a heart-breaking game every time we go to the beach of picking up trash. Sometimes, the trash appears to have washed up from the water— but the overwhelming majority of the time, it’s junk that careless beach-goers left in the sand. Bottle caps. Plastic food and straw wrappers. Stray socks and forgotten beach toys. The very place where the beauty and ferocity of nature should be felt so deeply is just a glorified dumpster.

It is, of course, a value-action gap. It’s this value-action gap that makes us profess our love for sea turtles while sipping coffee from plastic straws. It’s this value-action gap that I’ve been committed to decreasing for myself— and it’s the topic of most of the guidance that I share. But even when we try to be conscientious, the realities of a fossil-fuel reliant, throwaway culture make it impossible to fully close the gap. Instead of dwelling on what’s out of reach, I want to invite just a few points of reflection:

1. Where is somewhere I can decrease waste (ex. single-use plastic) or minimize consumption (ex. a curated wardrobe instead of fast fashion) in my every day life?

2. Where is a place I can use my resources (time, energy, money) to contribute to larger environmental conversations?

But I also think about ushering people in, so to speak, to any level of concern about the environment in general. And when I’m talking about the environment, I mean everything from plastic pollution to species loss to climate change. At the most basic level, it’s the people who don’t bother to pick up their own freaking trash from the beach. But of course, the kind of people who hurl styrofoam cups out their car windows and leave plastic straws lying on the beach likely aren’t subscribing to a newsletter called Sustain Initiative… so really, it’s not like I have a direct audience with this segment of the population. And, to be clear, these aren’t necessarily climate deniers, merely climate apathists. A totally misappropriated word, but one that I think will work for describing the segment of the population who doesn’t necessarily endorse earth-damaging behavior, but is rather too busy with the very real demands of life: work, family, pets, scrolling social media, etc. to worry about the polar bears.

So just for funsies, what better day than today to spitball about what would create a higher degree of environmental concern among the polar-bear apathetic population?

First, note to self: stop mentioning the polar bears. The research is actually pretty clear that showing polar bears floating on a shrinking island of ice does not, in fact, move the needle on climate action— perhaps because most of don’t personally know polar bears. (Although if you do, my little ones would love an introduction!). Instead, focus on concrete issues relevant to your local community.

The evidence also suggests that actually witnessing the effects of climate issues can be pretty impactful… for example, losing your home to a wildfire or your favorite hiking trail to a fracking project. Obviously not the most optimal way to jumpstart your interest in environmental issues.

Personal wellness concerns also seem to be a bit of a gateway drug, so to speak, into caring about broader environmental concerns. As soon as you decide you don’t want to eat plastic for breakfast, well, it demands some level of collective action to make that a reality. I tend to lean into the personal wellness piece of the movement for this exact reason: It appears to be the bridge that best connects people with all sorts of different political positions and life stages.

The other thing that seems to move the needle is conversations with friends and relatives— or, occasionally, open and compassionate conversations with complete strangers. This task feels daunting to me, and it’s high on my list of things to improve. My real-life people generally know exactly where I stand on these issues, and poke the occasional fun (my brother-in-law, for example, once filled my bag with plastic straws)— but I find that they mostly know because they read my writing, or because they saw me drag my reusable cup to the coffee shop, and not because I told them directly.

If you, too, want to become more adept at having the tricky conversations about the climate, there’s some interesting research about what emotions are most helpful. I highly recommend social researcher Rebecca Huntley’s book How to Talk About Climate Change in a Way That Makes a Difference. but here’s the short version: Anger is useful— and warranted— but often appears like an overreaction. Guilt can be good— in fact ‘constructive guilt’ is a positive when it emphasizes collective action— but too much guilt can become shame, which is bad. Talk about loss and despair a little bit, but talk about hope and a vision for a better future more. And whatever you do, don’t start a conversation with, “So, the human-caused climate apocalypse, huh?”

I recently re-watched climate scientist ’s TEDTalk about the most important thing you can do for the climate. Her answer? Talk about it. But what struck me most was her comment that "just about every single person in the world already has the values they need to care about a changing climate. They just haven’t connected the dots.”

So today, touch some grass. And maybe connect the dots for someone in your life about an environmental issue you care about. Happy Earth Day!

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Of course, this might not be new information for you if you’ve experienced infertility or autoimmune issues, or if you’re inclined to emotionally spiral about plastic in your brain and bloodstream (hi! that’s me!). But for many people, the documentary is an introduction to the idea that the plastic problem isn’t just ‘out there’— in the waterways and on the side of the road— it’s ‘right here’ in our homes and our bodies.

So this spring— when, let’s face it, you’re probably spring cleaning anyway— try approaching your home with the goal of reducing your plastic exposure. Aim for the areas of highest impact— like the kitchen and bathroom— and be ruthless in removing plastic trinkets with an unclear purpose from your home. Here’s some ideas to get you started:

In the kitchen, try decluttering your…

Plastic Tupperware

Budget swap: Mason jars and upcycled pasta jars; upgrade pick: Planet Box glass containers (unlike Pyrex, these have glass lids!)

Looking for a stainless steel lunchbox pick? We love these!

Plastic Cutting Board

Your cutting board leeches microplastics every time you slice a cucumber… no thank you! We like Grove Co.’s mini cutting board, but any wooden cutting board will do.

Plastic Cups + Water Bottles

I basically sound like a broken record… but seriously, ditch the freebie water bottles and ‘takeout’ cups that are accumulating dust in the corner of your cabinet. Literally any other stainless steel or glass cup is a fantastic alternative.

Plastic children’s plates + bowls + pouches

Swap the toxic toddler tableware for silicone plates or stainless steel trays. Opt for refillable silicone pouches for yogurt, applesauce, etc.

(Full disclosure: We haven’t ditched plastic pouches entirely— especially for busy days and travel! It would be a full time job to add completely from scratch purees to my workload.)

Non-Stick Cookware (aka, Teflon coatings)

First, you probably don’t need as much cookware as you think you do. My family of 5 functions on 5 total pots and 3 total pans (and we host frequently!). But when you’re swapping out cookware, aim for stainless steel cookware or nontoxic ceramic coatings. We like these stainless steel pots and this ceramic nonstick sauté pan (hint: Google “Caraway overstock” and you can frequently find these 1/2 off). Cast iron pans are also a great option.

Polyurethane foam sponges.

I don’t need my dishes with a side of microplastics. Try washable cotton washcloths or compostable sponges instead.

In the bathroom, get rid of the…

Beyond the plastic bottle, phthalates and plasticizers show up as ingredients in all sorts of body care products… especially as fragrances or preservatives.

Self-care items you don’t use regularly. For everything else, consider making lower-plastic swaps— with more natural ingredients— as you run out.

I use Ethique shampoo bars, HiBar plastic-free deodorant (like but don’t love… am open to recommendations!), Lauren Brook foundation, and Be Natural Organics moisturizer (not plastic free, but clean ingredients). For the kiddos + husband who don’t love bar shampoos, we buy Carina Organics in bulk once a year and refill a smaller shower dispenser.

Badger has baby cream and even sunscreen in stainless steel tins, and Babo Botanicals is growing its plastic free sunscreen + shampoo offerings as well. And for that time of the month— if you aren’t jumping on the menstrual cup train— Natracare and Cora both offer applicator-free tampons to cut down on plastic waste.

Toxic cleaning supplies.

Listen, the idea of using a reusable cloth to clean the toilet makes me want to vomit. So I don’t (although some people do!). But you can absolutely switch to lower-plastic options— like Grove Co. cleaners in aluminum cans or glass refills.

In the closet, ditch the…

‘Fuzzy’ (read: plastic) blankets you weren’t using anyway. The polyester blend sheets you keep ‘just in case.’

Let’s face it— you probably don’t need more than one (or possibly two) sets of sheets per bed. If you’re swapping out what you own, aim for 100% cotton sheets… bonus if they are OEKO-TEX certified. Pillows are pretty important too— a great non-toxic option is Avocado. We especially love their toddler pillows!

Polyester + acrylic + pleather fast fashion. And, the hole-y plastic undergarments in the back of your drawer. Yes, I went there.

Swap: Look for natural fibers like cotton or wool— and look for additional safety certifications, like OEKO-TEX. Just a few brands that have worked for me: Subset and Mate the Label for undergarments + athletic wear; Warp + Weft and Oliver Logan jeans (but tbh, I’ll be forever mad they discontinued my favorite fit); Fair Indigo tees.

Toad & Co. has some great organic cotton guys’ options (not that I’ve gotten my husband on the non-toxic dressing trend yet)— and over at Ecocult has a more extensive list of guy’s non-toxic fashion brands here.

And for the kiddos, Colored Organics, Monica + Andy, and Hanna Andersson (organic cotton pjs, durable-ish OEKO-TEX leggings, and OEKO-TEX certified swimsuits) are my go-tos. Target often sells kids’ clothes with OEKO-TEX certifications now… though my experience with their clothes has been leggings that fall apart after only a wear or two, and that’s just a wasteful hassle. Carter’s has also been consistently offering more OEKO-TEX certified kids’ clothes in the past few years.

(Also! I’m linking the websites for ease… but Poshmark, Mercari, and clearance events are your friends. The upfront cost of non-toxic fashion isn’t exactly cheap— you know, paying living wages and all— but quality items will more than make up the cost, especially if you maintain a minimal wardrobe).

In the kids’ room, donate the…

Squishmallows.

Listen, I know they are popular. But they also release a literal cloud of microplastics every time your little one squishes them (and really, isn’t squishing them kind of the point?). Your little one probably needs far fewer stuffies than you think… for a favorite one or two, try corn fiber filling instead. (Apple Park Kids and Bears for Humanity both deliver).

Random plastic ‘junk’ toys

(Okay, maybe don’t donate these). If it came from a Happy Meal or showed up in a birthday treat bag… chances are you don’t need them. (And, neither do other kids). This is especially true if the items in question came from a retailer like Shein or Temu with extremely questionable safety standards.

And for younger kids, stall, stall, and stall… at some point, they will want the American Girl dolls or the plastic army men (is that even still a thing?!). But keeping them happy with wooden toys for as long as you can will significantly reduce little one’s chemical exposure).

A Quick Note on Cost of Living

Comparing the prices of some of the non-toxic picks to when I first purchased, I have to share that I’m absolutely cringing. The leggings I bought for $60 two years ago— that have survived 200 washes + wears— now retail for $98. The foundation that has been $32 for the decade I’ve been buying it is now $39 a jar. I was floored when I went to link the toddler pillow (that’s currently on my littlest one’s birthday list!!)… it was $32 when I added it to the list a few months ago, and it’s $59 on their website now. OOF.

I often get asked for specific recommendations, and the last thing I want is to leave you searching for non-toxic alternatives in the Wild West that has become the Internet. But to be completely honest, inflation and tariffs have made safer choices outrageously expensive. I’m not blaming the companies themselves— I know many smaller brands are struggling right now. But when you are struggling to budget for nontoxic changes… you’re not alone. And in those cases, focus on what you can eliminate rather than what you need to acquire to make your home safer.

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From the archives on plastic…

Over the past several months, I’ve been trying to figure out how to balance my workload— all while working in the constraints of three kiddos five and under, plus homeschooling.

I’m definitely still figuring it out, but thought it might be fun to share a little ‘day in the life’ of what it looks like— in this season— to homeschool and work from home as a mom of three, while somehow spending very little time actually at home.

Homeschool

I had such a kind reader question recently about homeschool. Maybe it deserves its own post someday, but I think I’ve been hesitant to share about it here for a few reasons: First, I recognize that most readers are probably not homeschool parents themselves. Second, I’m still very much at the ‘beginning’ of the journey rather than the destination. But, it definitely takes up a chunk of my time!

This was our first year doing ‘real’ homeschool, with my oldest in kindergarten. So far, we’ve loved the Lovevery Reading Skill Set for reading fluency (it works well for neurodivergent kiddos as well), and IXL Workbooks for math. We normally sneak in math and handwriting practice while I’m making breakfast and doing the morning dishes, while read alouds happen when the baby naps and again at bedtime. My husband works a swing-shift schedule so we tend to stack more ‘bookwork’ into the days he works, and more adventures into the days he is off.

We’ve been building out science and social studies units with stacks upon stacks of library books. And, we’ve been loving toys that encourage STEM thinking, like the LEGO education kits. We’ve also been eyeing the Makedo kits and loved playing with Rigamajigs at a children’s museum recently (a little pricey for home use, but librarians and teachers… put these on your wish list!). We received some Kiwi Co. kits from our Buy Nothing group that we’ve been working through as well, but I’m not impressed enough with them (or the excessive waste) to purchase more.

Want book recommendations for the little people in your life? This is my extremely soft launch of History for Little People, where I provide book recs + resources for sharing inclusive history with the little ones in your life. You can find it here:

History for Little People

Book recs + history resources for raising empathetic and globally aware kids. Let's travel the world (without leaving the sofa). From a historian + homeschool mama.

By Jennifer Newton

The biggest question people have about homeschool— and the biggest uncertainty we had starting the process— was ‘socialization.’ But to be honest, that is basically the least of my concerns at this point. We are involved in two homeschool coops in our area— one for play groups, another for field trips— and participate in the shockingly frequent homeschool days offered by local libraries and museums. We have play dates, often multiple times a week. My girls take swim lessons with friends every week. In the past, we’ve done gymnastics, soccer, and dance camps. This week, we’re adding piano lessons to our list of extracurriculars. One of the gifts of homeschool (for us) has been the freedom to pursue lots of extracurriculars and still have time for travel and family time.

Work From Home

In practice, I get about 5-7 total hours a week to devote to writing. For the last several months, that time has included querying agents + book drafts as well as my Substack writing. Two of these hours come from grandparent-childcare, the others come from my husband’s valiant attempts to keep the kids from kicking in the bedroom door while I work. Any and all other research or writing basically happens like this…

I didn’t start Sustain Initiative with a monetization strategy, and money is not the driving force behind what I do. But the fact of the matter— as most newsletter writers on Substack have realized acutely— is that it is pretty difficult to dedicate hours of essentially unpaid labor to writing every week. Substack suggests that roughly 10% of subscribers will become paid subscribers… but anecdotal evidence from even successful newsletters suggests that the numbers are more like 1-3% (if that). And, algorithm changes roughly a year ago that encourage people to become vague ‘followers’ on notes rather than true subscribers to full-size newsletter posts has been extremely challenging for growth. In fact, the change has been dramatic enough that many of my favorite newsletter writers are jumping ship to different platforms. So Sustain Initiative is still here and still chugging along… but if any of you readers are platform growth experts, I’m all ears on ideas!

Housework

I think the biggest misconception I had about adulthood was the sheer amount of time it would take to do the dishes and laundry on repeat, forever. In fact, after minute-by-minute tracking my time several months ago, I found that I spend 2 and a half hours a day on housework. You would think that I spend less time on housework on the days that we are hardly home, but that is somehow not really the case. We still manage to generate dishes and laundry in our absence.

Y’all, SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE. In fact, I promised myself that I would try out a housekeeper (at least for a one-time deep clean!) when I had my third child literally a year and a half ago. Then, I promised myself I would get one after I got a book deal. Then, my husband ‘gifted’ a housekeeping deep clean to me for Christmas. Have I actually found a housekeeping service or booked it?! I have not. I think I have a lurking feeling that maybe my time isn’t worthy of paying for the occasional help? I’m not entirely sure what’s holding me back, but it reminds me of Lyz Lenz’s commentary that most money saving hacks create more unpaid labor for women.

Travel

We LOVE travel, and are actively building more ‘long-weekend’ style trips into our plans for next year. This is great for our sense of adventure, but also wrecks havoc on any sense of routine. We just got back from a long weekend in Washington D.C. and have four additional trips planned for this year. I know people have a lot of qualms about traveling with kids, but honestly, kids are SO resilient in the face of new places and situations— especially if you mix in some zoo trips and children’s museums with more grown-up activities. This has also been a super fun aspect of our homeschool… whale watching, the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum, and several natural history museums have all become learning opportunities just this year.

Honestly, writing this all out makes me think about what a FUN season we are in. I’m actively working to find better ways to squeeze writing time in (I’d love to be better at marketing + growth!), but it’s such a joy and a privilege to have this opportunity to balance my own intellectual interests and family time.

So now, I have to ask: What’s your favorite thing about the ‘season’ you’re in?

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It’s always fun to peel the curtain back a bit into someone else’s life and see what they bought + why. I will say that this list isn’t terribly exciting— but it gave me a whole lot of anxiety to publish! So much that I sat on this completed draft without clicking publish for… ahhh, 2 months. Whoops.

But the delay also gave me time to compare our spending across multiple months. So, now you get a kind of two-for-one reading special. 🙃

November spending:

Non-grocery food: $184

Fancy-smancy date night to celebrate a really exciting (still super secret but can’t wait to share it soon!!) professional win— $120

Coffee at a local coffee shop— $9

Takeout pizza (too tired to cook)— $35

Quick lunch with kiddos + their friends— $20

For kids (remember, I have 3 of them!): $590 (yikes!)

2 packs of socks + 4 pair of pajamas + 4 pairs of leggings (those dang growth spurts!)— $115 (you can read more about my kids’ capsule wardrobes here)

4 pairs of shoes… ditto the growth spurts— $155

Bike helmet— $65

A handful of books for homeschool (the library is our friend, but doesn’t have everything)— $60

American Girl books + historical doll clothes (shhhh, don’t tell! Saving for a birthday)— $90

Plastic-free art supplies, including two watercolor sets and a very large quantity of play dough tools — $75

Plastic free games + puzzles (some for my nephew’s Christmas present)— $30

For myself: $165

Moisturizers + face wash + foundation (I’ve been using the same brands for a decade, so it was safe to buy multiples! This will last me through the summer)— $165

(You’ll notice I’m not sharing my husband’s own personal ‘fun money’ details, but it was about the same $$).

Home projects: $155

New washing machine water lines, dryer vent, outlet covers, drywall supplies for the basement project that’s nearing the finish line!! — $155

November Total: $1,094

I will say that this total is higher than our average monthly spend on these sorts of things, but we’re not out buying leggings and shoes (let alone drywall!) on a monthly basis. I’ve tracked our spending meticulously for years, and we will see another similar spike around June when we need to buy shoes again and refresh the kiddos clothes for the summer.

As such, our family made a total of $1100 in donations to causes we care about: The Pittsburgh Community Food Bank, the Founder’s Pledge Climate Change Fund, the Clean Air Task Force, and the Environmental Defense Fund. (There are, of course, hundreds of worthwhile causes to give to— it was a difficult decision to pick exactly which ones to prioritize this time!).

And to give a better sense of what most months look like… here’s this past month!

VS. January 2026

Non-grocery food purchases: $282

Two coffee shop ‘work’ mornings— $27

Date breakfast— $70 (ouch! But the coffee + mimosas were delicious)

Family dinner out— $70

3 takeout/ ‘quick stop for food’ orders— $115

Entertainment: $200

Tickets to a Galentine’s event— $85

Family tickets to Disney on Ice— $115

Kids: $130

Plan Toys wooden forklift truck that went on clearance!! #boymom— $50

Kids’ clothes (some summer clothes on sale + some gifts)— $80

January Total: $612

I also did a meta-review of our spending (which I track meticulously on Every Dollar) for 2025, because it’s important to me that we align our spending with what matters most to us. There weren’t many surprises looking at our entire year— but I did notice one thing.

We spend freely on our kids, understandably so— especially on activities and experiences. And we are extraordinarily lucky that we have wiggle room in our budget to take more vacations than we used to.

But our spending on ourselves— on date nights, self-care, workshops, etc.— is actually less than it was nearly a decade ago. Like, it’s less as a real number and it’s astronomically less when adjusted for inflation. In other words, I spent more on myself as a very-broke graduate student than I do on myself as a mom. (Why is that not surprising?!).

I deeply value intentionality— being intentional with my time, attention, and money. But being intentional doesn’t always mean choosing ‘less.’ Cait Flanders recently beautifully described how it’s not always about ‘less’— sometimes, it’s time to lean in to more. So I think that in addition to the plethora of ‘real’ New Year’s commitments to gratitude and generosity and presence, I think I’m making a low-key resolution to find little ways to say ‘yes’ to myself more often.

I think, so often, about how my kids receive messages about how a woman should walk through the world from me. recently noted, “Your kids don’t need your ashes. They need you.” (Trust me, I would know).

I’d hate for my girls to think that they should constantly deny themselves in favor of others. I’d be horrified if my son grew up to expect consistently self-sacrificial behavior from a partner. So as we move into 2026, I’m trying to make the times that I say ‘yes’ to myself just a little more visible.

To clarify: My ‘yes’ will never be to fast-fashion or home trinkets or Temu hauls. That’s not self-care. But setting aside a bit of time for working out, for reading for pleasure (not just work!), for ordering the occasional appetizer without feeling outrageously guilty. For showing them (and teaching myself!) that it’s okay to lean in— with our resources— to the things that bring us joy.

That kind of joy may not change the world. But it will change the way we move through it.

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From the archives:

But several months ago, our basement experienced an unfortunate amount of water. What we thought would be a simple drywall replacement became a gut renovation— complete with wall anchors to stabilize the home, a sump pump to avoid future moisture, a radon mitigator to avoid the deadly gas the sump pump exacerbated, and all new drywall and flooring. Whew! Just writing it all out makes me exhausted. For months, we lost 400 square feet of our already-smallish house.

When we revamped, our goal was to make better use of the space. Here’s what we came up with:

First and foremost, a PLAY HOUSE.

With our girls sharing a room, we wanted an extra space for big feelings and solo play. So, we converted a small, sloped closet under the stairs. My husband took my request and a little bit of Pinterest inspiration and really ran with it…

We got pretty crafty with parts of it— the window frame is built from paint sticks, and the door knob is an old cabinet knob. The flower pot hanger is actually a kitchen sponge holder held up with a shower hook. And it was sheer luck that we scrounged up spare letter stickers and wood to make the ‘Where the Wild Ones Play’ sign.

But, we didn’t want something ‘permanent.’— so the entire outside frame is hooked into the wall with clamps! Anytime we need or want to remove it, we can.

In the ‘main’ space we rearranged the furniture and laid out a big rug for tumbling and other kid-craziness. The ultra-chic folding table in the corner hides a water access line and serves as a LEGO table or work space (and why yes, that is a dining room chair we needed to put somewhere!).

In case you are looking for creative ways to hide a radon mitigation system— ours is tucked into this corner. My husband couldn’t find any good online inspiration for hiding an obnoxious pole in the middle of a living space, so he built a hinged cabinet that I painted to blend in with the wall.

And, lest you think that everything online is Insta-worthy… this is the corner of the basement opposite the couches. Don’t judge the cabinet; my husband is in his LEGO-era. 😉

He also built a truly beautiful shelf to display his and the kiddos’ LEGO builds right when you walk down the stairs. The stunning final product is almost worth the fact that a ceiling collapsed while he was doing the wall demo. (I would say definitely worth it, but I’m not the one who had a ceiling collapse on my head…).

And, that’s a wrap! Do you have any big renovation projects coming up? Any you’ve done in the past you really enjoyed? I’d love to hear in the comments!

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For the past year, I’ll confess to feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to show up. Honestly, I’m still not sure— most days, I’m so busy reading bedtime stories and wiping runny noses that I barely have time to pee, let alone organize the resistance in my basement. When I first started writing online 5 years ago, I hoped that I would be a voice for people who weren’t sure that their individual actions mattered and weren’t sure where to begin. Today, I’m honestly still not entirely sure whether I’m speaking to that audience or whether I’m speaking to an echo chamber. But regardless, I’m glad you’re here.

I believe strongly that the things that are good for the Earth are good for humanity, too. I believe that all human lives are worthy of dignity— that no child should go hungry, that nobody should fear for their safety when they go grocery shopping, that a country as wealthy as ours has no excuse for pollution that worsens our quality of life. And I know that showing up to do what we can matters.

Because this corner of the Internet is a climate-corner, I wanted to highlight just a few climate things happening that should cause alarm for, well, all of us:

E.P.A. to Stop Considering Lives Saved When Setting Rules on Air Pollution

The bad news: The literal entire point of the Environmental Protection Agency is to protect people (and the Earth) from the kinds of unregulated pollution that used to set entire rivers on fire and still cause thousands of premature deaths every year.

The good news: There is already some pressure on the EPA after this news broke. And, this will undoubtedly bring lawsuits— for example, the Environmental Defense Fund previously won legal battles to protect pollution standards.

One action you can take: Donate to the Environmental Defense Fund, the Clean Air Task Force, or EarthJustice. If donating isn’t an option, call or email your representatives.

EPA continues approving pesticides with PFAS (forever chemicals)

The bad news: I don’t want my oranges with a side of chemicals— let alone chemicals that will still be contaminating the soil when my great-great-grandchildren are born.

The good news: Honestly, the only good news on this one is that this is pretty upsetting for people across a wide range of voting preferences, and flies completely in the face of what the President promised when he appointed RFK Jr. as the U.S. Secretary of Health.

One action you can take: You can contact the EPA to voice your frustration HERE.

If you want a more comprehensive idea of the environmental changes that have happened in the last year, here’s a comprehensive tracker.

And start in your home. In your community.

I’m not really in the mood to pretend that opting out of plastic bags will somehow negate all the negative that’s happening. BUT, the antidote to anxiety is action— even small action. Especially action that feels manageable enough that we can do it consistently.

It matters when we, however imperfectly, manage to put our money where our values are shop small, shop local, or shop less.

It matters when we spark change in our communities— even if it’s just opting out of plastic trinkets at birthday parties.

It matters when we SHARE about our actions. When we talk about the dreams we have for our future— dreams that probably don’t include inhaling particulate pollution but do include happy honeybees.

And it matters that we keep showing up.

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But as we lean into the New Year, I’m optimizing for peace for a very simple reason: I think ‘peace’ is the gateway to bigger, more fulfilling emotions like gratitude and joy. So I’m lining up some easy wins for myself— and some ideas for you. As with my previous New Year’s round ups (scroll to the bottom of this article for 25 tips to reset your home and 24 ways to choose presence… why yes, I did in fact just leave you with only a teaser!), you will find very little ‘peace’ and a whole lotta anxiety if you try to accomplish everything at once. Pick just a few that feel especially important to you in this season.

Be more mindful of your ‘inputs’

• Set specific time frames for news consumptions (ideally, not right when you wake up).

• If you still have any social media apps, consider how the algorithm makes you feel. You are very rarely seeing anybody you chose to follow; instead, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok are feeding you what they think will capture your attention. There’s a good chance it’s mindless and possibly even traumatic (I know one person whose Facebook feed shows them nothing but stranger’s death notices).

• Make the inputs you want— like favorite podcasts or books— easier to access. For example, try setting the book you want to read on your bedside table (instead of your phone).

Lean in to digital minimalism

• Hit inbox zero (at least momentarily)… and unsubscribe from marketing e-mails as you go.

• Delete old screenshots and blurry photos (do this instead of scrolling!)

• Actually look at your screen time— if you aren’t happy with the number of hours you spend on your device, consider cutting social media or changing your phone to black-and-white.

• Recycle those old devices, already. The gorillas will thank you. (Like, actually. Most zoos even collect old devices for a program called “Gorillas on the Line”).

Get your financial house in order

• Put bills on autopay— at least the ones that remain the same month after month.

• Make a plan to be intentional with your spending/ saving/ giving. If you are hoping to get a better idea where your money is going, consider a tracker like Every Dollar.

• Review your 401K contributions and other investment accounts. (If you feel overwhelmed at the thought of investing, Ramit Sethi’s I Will Teach You to Be Rich is a straightforward introduction).

• Make a will. Not only is this important, but it’s one of those tasks that likely lives at the back of your to-do list, quietly eating up mental space + causing anxiety until it’s done.

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Choose ‘less’— but make it your favorites. Just a few ideas:

• Flip all your hangers backwards… when you wear an item of clothing, flip the hanger back the ‘correct’ way. In just a few months, you’ll see which items are your closet staples and which you never touch.

• Ditch the plastic Tupperware in the back of your cabinets (especially the ones with missing lids!)

• Clear out old cosmetics and hygiene products— if you don’t plan on using them up yourself, consider offering them to your local Buy Nothing group.

Solve a few reallyyyy little things around the house that drive you batty.

If you’re always losing your keys, make a home for them. If a squeaky door needs some WD-40, go ahead and do that.

For example, my husband just flip-flopped our washer and dryer so clothes can actually travel between them without me smashing my knee into both doors every time I do the laundry (which is approximately 500 times a day). Absolute game-changer.

Maybe the thing that’s driving you batty isn’t a ‘thing’ but a routine. Is getting out the door impossibly difficult? Make this the year you pack lunches the night before and store the socks by the front door. Does bedtime with toddlers last forever? Send me your tips! I’ve got nothing. But spend just a few minutes brainstorming ways to make a ‘paint point’ in your day go more smoothly.

Create a standing ‘meeting’ time with a partner or family for “life admin”

There are all sorts of moving pieces to managing a life, from meal plans to kids’ soccer schedules and finances. The absolute worst time to talk about just about all of these is right when someone gets home from work (or right before bed). Instead, commit to a standing 15 minute ‘meeting’ to work through all the mechanics of your schedule and spending once a week. Designate the ‘fun’ one in your partnership to make it interesting with yummy snacks or a boppin’ playlist. (If you are responsible for all the mental and practical labor in your own life— also consider making your life maintenance more interesting with a boppin’ playlist).

The perks of doing 15 minutes a week? You don’t have to spend the rest of the week stressing about the details.

Find ways to streamline shopping and errands.

I know I’ve railed against convenience culture in the past, for good reason. I stand by every single critique I’ve made. But also, dropping into the grocery store half a dozen times a week isn’t exactly peaceful— so find ways to make your life a little easier. Meal plan so your weekly grocery shop actually lasts the week. Do curbside pick up if that means more time with your family (or a more-in-check grocery bill!).

Find a tangible way to connect with real-life community.

Listen— I love a good ‘snuggle under the blankets’ day as much as the next Southerner-transplanted-to-a-Northern-tundra, but you can’t go all winter hibernating under the covers. Pull out your calendar and plan a few meet-ups with friends, schedule some time to work from a coffee shop, or stop by a local community event.

Get some fresh air.

Bring hot chocolate, if you have to. But build in some time outdoors that isn’t just running from your car to the house… hey, even a leisurely stroll to the mailbox technically counts.

Find ways to practice gratitude and positive self-talk.

In one space that I find welcoming, there are affirmations on every mirror in the women’s restroom (I checked with my husband; the men weren’t so lucky). The ‘pause’ in the midst of a rushed day to see a meaningful affirmation (ex. “You are altogether beautiful; there is no flaw in you”) is like an instant calming breath.

But good news! You don’t have so scope out public restrooms to find this for yourself. Maybe positive self-talk looks like buying (or making!) your own shower affirmations. Perhaps it’s keeping a gratitude journal, or jotting the best moment from your day down on a sticky note. Maybe it’s pausing before complaining to pick joy instead.

Give yourself grace (on something specific).

Of course, give yourself grace in lots of things— but here, it’s most helpful to pick one particular thing that eats at your self-confidence, or something you believe you ‘should’ be doing but don’t have the bandwidth for in this season. Go ahead and ‘release’ it from your mental load. We weren’t built to do it all anyway.

Have a wonderful, restful start to 2026!

From the archives, also for the New Year:

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And yet it turns out that I’ve been inadvertently inhaling the equivalent of roughly half a pack of cigarettes a day, even though I’ve never smoked in my life.

Radon is a colorless, odorless radioactive gas that exists naturally in soil as uranium breaks down— but it concentrates in homes (and schools! and workplaces! and other buildings!) in higher amounts. Radon in the environment is naturally around 0.4 pCi/L; in the average indoor home, the level is around 1.3 pCi/L. But some homes have astronomical levels— anything higher than a 4 is an immediate cause for concern, but buildings occasionally report numbers in the triple digits. Even double-digit numbers are disturbingly common concentration for the leading cause of lung cancer behind actually smoking.

The latest radon test for our house came back higher than I would have liked (although thank goodness it wasn’t even double-digit high!). So this is an insistent (I’ll save ‘friendly’ for another day) PSA to check your home radon levels, especially as the weather turns colder.

But, you might be thinking, I tested radon levels when I moved in to my house!

So did we!! We first tested when we bought our home 7 years ago, and the number came back fine enough. So, like most things when you assume everything is fine, you pretty much forget about it. A few months ago, I felt a little twitch of concern when our neighbor said they had a radon mitigation system. I felt another twitch of concern after a sump pump was installed in October as part of our basement renovation. So I bought a radon detector.

And the number that used to be fine suddenly wasn’t.

It turns out that all sorts of things that are generally good for your house can contribute significantly to your exposure to radon: Higher-insulation windows and better caulking keep radon from escaping. The french drain and sump pumps that prevent your house from flooding actually drill into the rock bed, potentially increasing the radon that ends up in your home. HVAC system upgrades or even a new range hood can also pull more radon from the ground into your living quarters. You should be testing for radon once every two years, and after big home improvement projects.

To add insult to injury, radon levels increase during rainy, foggy, and cold weather— all times of year that you are more likely to be inside. Which also makes this the right time of year to test your home radon levels. You can get one-time kits you send to a lab, or a continuous radon monitor (what I bought). If you get a 4 or above, find a radon specialist— but even long-term averages between 2-3 might be a good reason to mitigate.

The only reliable way to mitigate is with an actual mitigation system.

Radon is a tricky thing. In the aftermath of discovering disturbing numbers— while waiting for the contractors who can actually solve the problem— it appears you should open basement windows to help the gas disperse. It’s a toss-up whether you should open upstairs windows, because you might create a draft that pulls the radon up further into your home. You definitely should not use a whole house exhaust fan for this exact same reason, but you very well could use a box fan in a window that blows air out (not in) from your lowest floor.

You’ll need to keep these windows open, even when the temperature drops to 20°F (-6°C) to keep your carcinogen-to-oxygen ratio in check. And your reward for surviving this ordeal (in addition to, y’ know, a decreased risk of lung cancer) is a giant pole sticking out of your basement. For your sake, I hope yours gets to be located in a storage room and not the middle of the brand-new playroom walls you just put up. (I’m not bitter, I’m not bitter…). Maybe I’ll showcase the totally aesthetically-pleasing pole when we finally get the basement finished.

I’m loathe to add one more thing to your to-do list during the holiday season. But this one matters.

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P.S. Sharing is caring— if you buy a continuous radon monitor, offer to lend it to a friend when you’re done!

I’m not suggesting you don’t shop. I want you to thoroughly enjoy your holidays and if you can afford it, sure, go right ahead and treat yourself. I just happen to believe that treating yourself very rarely involves purchasing plastic junk or quickly-discarded seasonal ‘must-haves.’ So as we enter the consumerist frenzy of the next weeks, here are a few reminders:

The ‘limited time only’ sale will be going on for another week, minimum.

So before you jump to check out, take a deep breath. ‘Limited time only’ marketing assumes that you’ll subconsciously panic and purchase on impulse. Return to your game plan: Is this something you already planned on purchasing? If not, what’s the appeal? What void is this filling?

First, sometimes the void is super practical and I’m not asking you to deeply meditate on it. Like, if your kid’s shoes are bursting at the seams or their pajamas all have holes, I’m not suggesting you deeply reflect on your money psychology. Just buy the pajamas and move on with your day.

But when the things appealing to you start to feel like they are coming out of left field— like your dish ware was good enough yesterday but you’re suddenly thinking about upgrading— or you feel compelled to buy but aren’t sure why, it’s time to pause and dig a little deeper. What are you feeling?

Fear of missing out?

Feeling low and looking for a dopamine hit?

Want to treat yourself?

Anxious about the holidays?

What are other ways to meet these needs?

Fear of missing out ——> Focus on the abundance around you. Often, the literal abundance— the shoes/ purses/ dish sets/ cozy comforters you already have.

Feeling low ——> Move your body, ideally outside (rumor has it there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes… I’ve yet to find the right clothes to make my 3 year old believe that, though!). Plan time with friends or volunteering in your community.

Want to treat yourself? ——> Make cookies/ coffee/ light a candle… in other words, treat yourself, minus the hefty price tag.

Anxious about the holidays? ——> Journal or chat with a friend. Figure out if what you need is more rest or more community— chances are it’s one of these very opposite needs.

Unsubscribe, really. Listen, I know we talked about unsubscribing last week. But if it’s Black Friday time and the e-mails are still flooding your inbox… there’s still time to unsubscribe. Especially if you aren’t compelled by Black Friday pricing (supposedly the best of the year!)— there’s not many good reasons to let the e-mails keep dominating your inbox and your attention.

Consider gifting consumables, experiences, and second-hand

How much holiday pressure is coming from feeling like you need to give gifts to literally everyone? How many truly terrible gift ideas have come from frantic, last-minute shopping?

The people in your life will still love you, even if you don’t give them a gift. Period. It makes complete sense to want to give an awesome gift— and if you can, by all means do. But choose something thoughtful over making a purchase just to have something under the tree.

Pretty much everybody— me included— suggests gifting experiences. But make ‘em look pretty and experiences really are the best. Zoo passes, memberships, and hot chocolate dates are all lovely.

The standard consumable suggestions— chocolates, coffee, nice lotion— are also lovely, but what about super practical? (Because let’s be real, we probably have enough candles). To date, one of my kid’s favorite gifts was a birthday bag full of her favorite snacks— all the granola bars, veggie pouches, and other ‘special treat’ snacks— her tummy could possibly desire. We piggy-backed off this success and got our baby nephews’ a month’s supply of baby food for Christmas— shout out to my sister-in-law who told me to write about it!

I also wonder what you can find around your house that others would really enjoy? It’s not advisable to pass off a clearly-secondhand object as new, but we’ve had a ball of a time in years past wrapping up household items (from untouched mugs to board games) for a goofy family gift exchange. When loved ones have younger kids, it can also be a way to thoughtfully pass on some favorites you’ve outgrown (our Lovevery play kits are beginning to get passed down and I'm having alllll the feels).

Think twice before buying something you might return.

There’s an undercurrent of online shopping in general— but especially around the holidays, where return deadlines are extended— that makes returns fairly convenient. As a result, roughly 15% of all online purchases are returned (and that number is even higher for some categories— 25% of online clothing purchases, for example, are returned). Returns, including product and packaging, creates about 5 billion pounds of waste annually. And the overwhelming majority of the time, these items are not just re-stocked for someone else to buy. It’s a convenient delusion that a returned item gets a beautiful new life with someone else (the same delusion that prompts donations of unwanted junk to thrift stores). In most cases, online returns are sent to outlet stores (or, occasionally, the ‘outlet deal’ section of a website) or sold by the mystery pallet. In other cases, returns end up in landfill.

It’s great practice to include return receipts with a gift just in case. But it’s even better practice to check with somebody before assuming they’ll love the weird ceramic Santa you found in the clearance aisle.

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In years past, I’ve handled Black Friday in all sorts of different ways: logging off for the whole weekend, stocking up on essentials before a three-month buy ban, and always shopping mindfully if at all.

But this year I’m trying something a tad bit different: For every dollar I spend in November on a consumer good that isn’t food or toilet paper, I’m matching my own spending with a donation to a cause I care about. This is dollar for dollar, meaning for every dollar I spend on coffee, new jeans, or a kid’s Christmas stocking, I’m donating the same amount.

I’m still logging off, for the most part. There isn’t much I need or want this holiday season— but my theory is that this plan means I can indulge in some small luxuries if I want (though as The Purse noted recently, many of us are cutting back during uncertain economic times)— while still being mindful, because I know I’m writing a second check to a worthy cause every time I click “add to cart.” By tailoring this challenge very specifically to November, I’m also reminding myself to actually be grateful during the season that’s supposed to be set aside for gratitude.

Of course, if you are a still-furloughed federal worker, one of the 153,000 Americans who lost their job in October, or are otherwise in an economically challenging season, this particular challenge may not be fore you and that’s okay. There are plenty of other ways to be generous— and when it comes to shopping, take advantage of the deals that you need and then log the heck off before some Instagram influencer can sell you more junk.

Because behind every influencer peddling you the seasons must-have products, there’s an affiliate e-mail like this:

Former influencer-turned-Substacker has firsthand experience about just how lucrative those gift guides can be for the friendly faces on the other end of our screens. And it turns out that maybe we just don’t need to buy what they’re selling.

Other ways to be mindful this holiday-turned-shopping season:

• Make a list (now, not later) of the things you think you need— sit with it for a week and see how you feel

• Wait 24/48 hours after adding to cart before you check out

• Commit to “hitting the pan” on lotions, cosmetics, and other consumables before you buy more— make this the season of using ‘em up!

• Click unsubscribe on those marketing emails, pronto. (And maybe social media, while you’re at it).

• Make a plan for when you’re tired/ bored/ frustrated— any other scrolling trigger. Keep a list of movies to watch and books to read, or commit to taking a quick walk around the block instead of picking up your phone.

• Tis’ the season to declutter and donate— nothing reminds us how much we have like having to actually deal with it.

• Consider the ‘why’— what need or want will this item fill in your life? Is there anything you already own that could do the same thing?

• Prioritize experiences over stuff: Make a plan for a fantastic experience with friends or family. It can be free/ low cost, like grabbing a hot chocolate and looking at Christmas lights, or something more involved. Bonus points if you plan it over Black Friday weekend to keep you busy.

• Make this a season of gratitude, with whatever practice you feel most comfortable with: Volunteer. Keep a list of reasons to be grateful that you build on every day. Meditate. You get the idea.

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  Without you, I’d just be blabbering into the abyss, hoping that someone else cares about shopping small and not killing sea turtles and ditching the toxic crap in our stuff and everything else that goes through my head on a daily basis. So, thank you for being here and supporting my work. ❤️ You can become a free or paid subscriber in the link below.

To be clear, I didn’t shop at all eleven stores every week. But I moved between the local farmer’s market, a local food coop, Thrive Market, Imperfect Foods, Target, Aldi’s, and the whole host of unmentionables (Walmart, Whole Foods, etc.) based on where prices were better and what stores had organic-whatever-I-was-looking-for at the best price. A friend suggested I try Costco and I told her I wasn’t sure I was up for adding another grocery store to my rotation. (I since have, and it’s been lovely… a much further drive, but a real game-changer that’s seriously cut my shopping around).

My family is not food-insecure. We are very thankfully able to afford our soaring grocery bills with some grumbles but no actual difficulty. But nearly 50 million Americans live in food-insecure households. On top of the challenges of affording groceries in the first place, they are likely to pay more per-unit than more affluent families. We talk about this as the ‘poor tax.’ People who are living paycheck-to-paycheck have to spend more money per unit on just about everything: If you can’t afford the 40-pack of toilet paper, you pay more per roll when you buy the 4-pack. I think about this when I buy ground beef— I get local, grass-fed beef for roughly $5/ pound (hanging weight) because I buy a quarter cow at a time. This requires freezer space and a substantial upfront payment, but it sure beats paying $9/ pound in the grocery store.

The poor tax is also a matter of time: If someone has to stretch their last dollar to buy groceries for the week, they don’t have the luxury of one-stop-shop grocery shopping. They have no choice but to spend hours every week shopping around to save 25 cents on bananas and 50 cents on bread. And please don’t tell me you can just make everything from scratch— you can, and historically, I’ve made quite a bit of our food from scratch. But the prices are still astronomical and it takes hours of effort every day that many families simply don’t have (but Zero Waste Chef is a fantastic resource for cooking from scratch, if you’re looking).

I have trouble stomaching that the price of a 5-pack of granola bars can be anywhere from $3.95 to $7.50, depending on the retailer and the right sale. InstaCart erratically pushes me $40 off grocery pick-up coupons, but I haven’t figured out how to convince the algorithm to do that more often. And a disturbing number of grocery items (or maybe just those marketed to crunchy parents of preschoolers?) are primarily available as auto-renewing online subscriptions, unless you want to pay twice as much at the checkout counter.

Grocery sales, of course, aren’t new. For decades, grocery stores have had ‘loss leaders’— popular things like milk and eggs that they sell at a loss to draw customers in. The whole point of a loss leader is to get you into one grocery store vs. the competitors. The competition between Kroger and Alberton’s is real, y’all. (And ongoing, after the judiciary mercifully decided in 2024 that merging two of the largest grocery store chains in the country just might be the definition of a monopoly).

Food manufacturers, too, have worked to build brand loyalty through catchy characters, colorful packaging, and copious advertising dollars: Aunt Jemima’s Syrup for your morning pancakes. The Pillsbury Dough Boy selling you cinnamon rolls. Nothing but Heinz ketchup for your hot dogs. This feels quaint, in some ways? Because the characters and branding are cute but a cost-conscious shopper knows to look below-eye-level for the ‘generic’ (and therefore lower cost) options.

I think there’s been a profound shift in capitalism’s view of groceries, though. Loss leaders were common, and coupons were common, but not in an obnoxiously LIMITED TIME ONLY way. Now, I get text messages from Thrive Market telling me about the one-day only “BIG snack sale”, and there’s a fantastic deal on granola bars… but nothing else on my shopping list. Two days later, it’s “HURRY! Extra 25% off ends tonight!”… and now it’s jarred tomatoes, but the granola bars are back to $5.99 a box. More than once, by the time I’ve managed to log in to grocery shop, I’ve missed the grocery promotion. I grumble about this kind of marketing when it happens elsewhere— say, fast fashion or the baby-&-child-industrial-complex. But there’s something profoundly wrong about this kind of marketing for basic sustenance.

This kind of marketing for basic necessities weaponizes the cost of basic-essentials-for-living in a way that is deeply dehumanizing. (I feel similarly about individuals having to subsidize big-tech’s AI-delusions-of-grandeur with substantially increased electrical bills, in case anyone was curious).

The price of groceries has gone up nearly 30% in the last 5 years. I can assure you that the average person’s income has not gone up by a comparable rate. These higher prices are a result of the climate crisis, tariff crisis, and corporate greed (notice I did not say ‘farmer greed’— earlier this year, farmers struggled when they lost reliable climate data from the federal government; now, new plans to quadruple beef imports from Argentina are unsettling domestic ranchers).

If the government shutdown persists, as many as 42 million people may lose SNAP benefits by November 1st. Some states have already suspended benefits, while others are warning families to use the remainder of their October funds “to buy shelf-stable foods that can last through November and beyond.”

Food banks are on life-support too. After July’s Republican-led federal budget cuts, smaller banks lost funding allocations and are being forced to pay near-retail rates for food. (Here’s just one example from the Pittsburgh area). In September, the USDA cancelled its annual food insecurity survey, so we won’t even have a good sense of how many children and elderly are going without food. But at least a few families you know— maybe even those in your neighborhood— are likely struggling. Children, in particular, are hard hit by these changes— nearly 40% of SNAP beneficiaries are children (and an additional 19% are elderly).

This seems like a good time to note that the top .1% of wealthy individuals in America hold 23.33 TRILLION today (vs. 1.87 trillion only 35 years ago), and the entire cost of SNAP for eligible families is roughly $115 billion a year. In other words, wealth from the top .1% could keep SNAP running for two centuries.

Even if the government shutdown ends quickly (and it’s hard to see that happening anytime soon without a substantial rise in health care premiums— though I’d be more than happy to eat my words, pun intended), we still have a hunger problem and we still have a grocery problem.

Capitalism has historically treated things that were once shared resources as something to be packaged and sold. The most classic example of this is land, which was once a community resource and is now fenced off and sold to the highest bidder by the quarter acre. We’ve done the same thing to food, but worse. We’ve put it on the hyper-fast-moving, make-more-profit-at-all-costs treadmill.

We buy stock in General Mills and Kraft-Heinz and McCormick & Co. and Kroger— all of which make these companies beholden to higher stock prices and shareholder returns, not to making sure that the hungry family next door can put food on their table and farmers can make a living wage.

In a society with as much wealth as ours, it’s a structural and moral failure to treat food as a commodity for the stock market and a ‘limited time only’ capitalist trinket. It’s just that simple.

There are big ‘structural’ changes that could and should happen— but we also need an immediate stopgap. Of course, donating to your local food bank (money goes further than food) or assisting a local food rescue organization is wonderful. But if you still haven’t shopped for your Halloween candy— can I suggest giving out snack foods like crackers or granola bars? This would also be a great time to clean out your pantry and offer shelf-stable items in a “please take what you need” box alongside the treats.

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Her book, illustrated by Makenzie McCarthy and published by The Little Press, will be released on October 14th, and is available for pre-order anywhere books are sold.

| BookShop | Amazon | Barnes & Noble |

Totally not a spoiler-alert from our conversation, but you’ll have to pre-order to find out if Dark Skies does, in fact, make it OFF THE SHIP before publication day— come back and comment on this post when you receive yours!

Here is a recording of our conversation, and you’ll find a full transcript (edited for clarity) below.

Jennifer: Hi, Lindsey. Thanks so much for joining me.Your picture book, Dark Skies, is coming out on October 14th. Can you tell me a little bit about the story?

Lindsey: Absolutely. Thanks for having me, by the way.Dark Skies is a fictional story about family, memory loss, and the magic of the stars. And then it has non-fictional back matter about light pollution, dark sky parks, a little bit about the constellations that are in the book, and then some links to go learn more about those subjects.

Jennifer: Oh, that’s awesome.Okay, and you’ve got some characters, Laney and Papaw, right? Can you tell me just a little bit more about them without giving too much away?

Lindsey: Sure. So, Laney lives in the city, and her Papaw comes to live with them from the country, and he misses being able to stargaze because where he lived, he could see the night sky unobstructed. And Laney can only see in the city about a dozen stars because of all the light pollution.So they attempt to find ways for him to still stargaze, like the planetarium, a telescope on their balcony. But it isn’t until Laney discovers what dark sky parks are that they’re able to actually take Papaw back out to the stars so that he can kind of remember, and just they, you know, grow together as a family.

Jennifer: Oh, that’s really special.I love that connection. Did you have any special relationships growing up that influenced that story and the relationship between Laney and Papa?

Lindsey: Yeah, I did have a Papaw, and he was very special. He passed away in 2015, so that’s, I definitely named the character after him, but other than that, that’s kind of where the resemblance ends there. But I’ve always lived really rurally, so I can see the night sky. I actually live by— not a dark sky park, but like an area where they do a lot of night sky activities. People come there to watch the meteor showers or whatever the event is.But when I learned that in the city, you can only see about a dozen stars, I knew that there was kind of a story there to be told. And originally, I wrote it as a little girl that lived in the country and moved to the city, but I had some feedback from an agent that suggested that the little girl should live in the city and be discovering the night sky for the first time in the book. So I think that was pretty impactful that way.

Jennifer: That really is. And I know we talked about this just a little bit before the interview as well, but it was, I grew up in the suburbs of Dallas, Texas. I live in the suburbs now. But I went to college in rural Arkansas, and you know, I’d had moments where like, I saw the stars from the suburbs and things like that, but it was really sitting on a loved one’s porch that was the first time that I really was like, oh, my goodness, this world is so massive. And I am just one tiny little part of it.

I think there’s beautiful things in the city, in the suburbs, in the middle of nowhere. But I think there’s something really magical about being surrounded by absolutely nothing but nature and staring up at the sky.

Lindsey: Arkansas is a great place for night sky.

Jennifer: Oh, yeah, it really, really is. And I have to ask, knowing that you kind of live really now, what’s the view from your porch? Do you have this like full telescope set up?

Lindsey: I don’t.I wish we had a telescope, but just with the naked eye, we can see so much. The town very close to my house is like 45, 50,000 people. And even there, the light pollution really changes the view. My daughter did a science fair project last year about light pollution, so we kind of traveled just locally and we would take a picture on Main Street in the town and then about a mile out of town. It’s just incredible how much difference there is just in that little bit of space to be able to see the stars.

Jennifer: That is so neat! So basically, your whole family are experts on the night sky and light pollution. That’s really cool. I have just been thinking since we first connected that a picture book about stargazing makes this really lovely good night story, right? I can imagine reading it to the kids on a camping trip.But the back matter is also really hard hitting. It makes this awesome resource for elementary school teachers. Can you tell me just a little bit more about this back matter and what kind of lessons— whether that’s in a classroom or a homeschool setting— would you maybe want to see Dark Skies used for?

Lindsey: Sure. And kind of just what I was saying, I don’t think a lot of people realize no matter where you live, if you live and you can see the stars or if you live or you can’t, you might not notice or think of the other, you know, vice versa. So if you live from the country, you might not know what they can see in the city and vice versa. So just talking about light pollution and what that means, we’re so reliant on lights just for everything. Part of the story is then driving out of the city away from just streetlights, headlights, neon signs, just all the things that add up to be to be such an obstruction to the night sky. And then there’s a few things about what you can do. Dark sky parks have a lot of good resources and talking about just little things like instead of your outside lights pointing up, turn them so that they point down. That makes a big difference. So just different ways that kids can do things to help, and even just learning where the dark sky parks are. A lot of national parks are dark skies, but there’s also a lot of dark sky places or urban night sky places that are being recognized that are listed on the dark sky parks website where you might be able to go close to home and see that view.

Jennifer: Oh, that is so neat. What I what I really like there is you’re talking about kids being able to take ownership. Lights are ubiquitous everywhere, but that’s not something the kids really think about. They think we flip on a light, whether that’s inside or outside. It makes it easier to see but kids don’t think about all the implications for [artificial lights]. And I, I know that you’re not specifically talking about a beach setting, but I always think about the beach and how light on the edge of beaches means that turtles might not be able to find their way right after they hatched.

Lindsey: Yes, there’s so many good books out there about about things like that.And and, you know, birds and like you said, turtles is how it affects all kinds of parts of nature— not just our view, but actually the way they live and what they need to survive.

Jennifer: Right. And I think what’s cool about your book is it’s putting it in an urban setting and saying this isn’t just a problem at the beach. This isn’t just a problem in the middle of nowhere. It’s everybody wants to be able to observe nature in that way.

Lindsey: Yep.So this is your picture book debut as a traditionally published author. Congratulations, by the way. That’s a huge achievement. But I know you have other independently published children’s books and even a middle grade novel. What has been your favorite book to write so far?

Lindsey: It’s a great question. It’s been so fun to see the different sides of things like my very first picture book is a story that I made up for my daughter and she loved.She’s 13 now, but she loved bedtime stories, but she went through a phase where she wanted me to make it up. So that’s actually a story I made up for her and we kind of revised it together. So I self published that one because I had a lot of ideas about how I wanted it to look and the characters and everything.And so that was a big learning learning curve there. And then my middle grade novel was a lot of fun because picture books are around 500 words. You rely a lot on pictures, of course, in the middle grade book, I could kind of stretch out a little bit. I had to describe things so that people could see it in their imagination. So that was a lot of fun to to kind of exercise that side of writing. So they’ve all been fun for different reasons.

Jennifer: That’s a really good answer! We will just have to check out all of your books. Is there anything that’s really surprised you about the writing or publishing process so far?

Lindsey: You know, I always hear it takes a long time for a book to come out.A lot of people are involved, but you don’t really know that until you do it. I signed the contract for this book in 2023. And that’s just pretty standard.You know, there’s design, illustration, marketing, you know, the actual printing of the book, which actually my book comes out, as you said, on October 14th, and it’s still in the ocean somewhere. We’re hoping it gets here in time, there’s just so many wheels in motion.

Jennifer: Like at the end of the day, the difference between an October 14th and 15th isn’t the end of the world, but it probably feels that way because you’re like, I just needed to make it to shore. I needed to hit the shelves.

Lindsey: We have no idea.You know, we’re, we think it’ll be here, but…

Jennifer: Oh my goodness. I will be crossing my fingers and toes for you on that one. So, I guess, speaking of oceans, Dark Sky is published in connection with One Little Earth. Can you tell me a little bit more about this collaboration and their mission?

Lindsey: Sure. So actually, I pulled it up on my phone so I could read their actual mission statement here and not butcher it. “One Little Earth creates and funds stories and programs for young people that entertain, inform, and inspire a love of nature.” So they are involved with The Little Press, which is my publisher, to create entertaining new children’s environmental books. They donate enviro-themed books to schools, libraries, and youth organizations. They sponsor author visits to underserved schools, provide funding to schools to screen enviro-film programs, give youth direct access to nature. So just everything, you know, nature that they can do in the school setting. I just think it’s a great program.

Jennifer: That’s so impactful for kids, especially as we’re talking about kids who might have different experiences with nature, even if they live in a similar place. Like maybe you live in a city, but you go hiking every weekend. Maybe you’ve never seen the woods. And so there’s all these different levels of comfort with nature. so it’s great that there’s more opportunities just for everybody to get more involved.

Lindsey: I don’t know, maybe I’ve been noticing it more because of this book, but I feel like there’s been a lot of night sky events lately. You hear more about like meteor showers and eclipses and things like that. So that’s always a great way to make family memories to go view those.

Jennifer: That’s so special. And it’s nice now because you feel like you have this connection to it. You’re right that you’re probably noticing that a little bit because you just wrote a book about it. But also…I think there’s this collective movement of people saying, like, we need to slow down a little bit. We need to treasure these small moments. We need to connect with ourselves and nature more than phones and things like that. And so maybe that’s part of what you’re seeing reflected too.

Lindsey: Absolutely, yeah.

Jennifer: All right, last question. Where can people find you? And very, very importantly, where can they order your book?

Lindsey: So I’m on Facebook at Lindsay Hobson, H-O-B-S-O-N. I’m on Instagram, Lindsay Hobson author and TikTok. I’m not very good at any of them, but I try. Marketing is just so, there’s so many things to learn. It feels like all the different social media platforms. And I try to cross publish posts. And I don’t know that I do a very good job, but.

Jennifer: That’s okay! [What I wish I’d said: You can be a kick a** writer and still feel like you suck at social media platforms, and that should be a totally acceptable way to move through the world.]

Lindsey: My book is anywhere that you like to buy books from, you should be able to find it. And then the Little Press has their own bookshop online. Right now, if you order, you can get a little limited edition sticker with it that looks like the cover. So that’s fun. But anywhere that you like to buy books from, you should be able to find it.

Jennifer: Perfect. Sounds great. I was just going to say, when you said all the cross posting between social media platforms, that is not my specialty either. Even my dad, who’s in his 60s, is on TikTok.And I just, I’ve never been on it. It’s not something that I understand.

Lindsey: I always hear it’s so good, especially #BookTok, you know, but I just don’t know.

Jennifer: I know, right? I take recommendations from my sibling if they’re like, this was on #BookTok, but I leave the actual #BookToking [is that a verb?!] to them.

Lindsey: Yeah, I’ve found great books to read on there, but as far as me actually making posts to advertise on there, I’m not so good.

Jennifer: Thank you so, so very much for taking the time to talk with me. And I’m very excited for Dark Skies to come out in just a few weeks. So have a wonderful, wonderful week and we’ll keep our fingers crossed that it gets off a ship.

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By 8:15, anybody showing up would have known they weren’t in the first 50 customers. But still, they got in line. They could have gone down the street to the local Starbucks, but they didn’t. By the time the shop opened, over a hundred people were waiting. Even standing in line, I wasn’t exactly sure why I was showing up— I mean, I love the coffee shop, but it’s not like caffeinated drinks were “limited time only” and I’m decidedly not a ‘freebie’ person (though not gonna lie, I am very stoked about the glass travel cup that perfectly fits their large iced drinks). But then I got to see the owner and baristas’ faces as they took in the line that stretched down the block, as they witnessed the crowd that showed up for them. That showed up for this dream, and for this place that in only a few years has become a pillar of the community.

I just wonder what our communities would look like if we celebrated every bookstore, every smoothie shop, every small-town hardware store, in this same way. (And our free third spaces, like libraries and parks, too!). If we showed up for our real-life community and their dreams instead of Amazon or Starbucks.

You might have noticed that a local coffee shop isn’t the only place ‘celebrating’ this week. I could have sworn we spoke about this back in July— oh yeah, we did— but here we are, again with the most important holiday of October upon us: Prime Deal Days, cleverly named to distinguish it from Amazon Prime Days just a few months ago. Prime Deal Days is apparently so big that it’s set to seriously outpace Halloween spending. In fact, Americans this year will spend roughly $23.8 billion on Amazon Prime Deal Days alone, and roughly $13.1 billion on Halloween. (Of course, some of that Halloween spending will take place on Amazon too, but let me have my math, okay?!). That’s $23.8 billion that could be spent shopping small or shopping local but will instead go to support Jeff Bezos’ weird little empire.

If you were one of the family members who recently got booted off a shared account, this is a wonderful time to not get an Amazon Prime subscription. Actually, if you have an Amazon Prime subscription, now is a great time to cancel it. (If you really need something that only Jeff Bezos can provide, you can in fact order it while keeping your $139).

You could always sign up for a low-buy or no-buy season because capitalism isn’t exactly coming to save us— but you don’t have to do a no-buy challenge to figure out how to make your spending more intentional. For me— and, I suspect, for a growing number of us— that includes figuring out how my dollars can support a real person’s dream, especially in a time of so much economic uncertainty.

If you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear about a small business you love in the comments. ❤️

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To be clear, this isn’t a dish ware company that also sells soap and laundry detergent and overpriced avocados. They are a dish ware company that sells, fundamentally, just ceramic vessels for you to eat and drink out of. And I haven’t been able to focus on anything else since learning this, because I’m honestly struggling to come up with a situation where I might require a monthly purchase of dinnerware.

I did have one really clumsy week where I managed to drop three dishes all in one week? But even so, one of them just bounced, and yes, two of them broke… but that was a freak incident sort of week and not like a daily occurrence. The only other possibility I’m left with is that dishes are going the way of fast fashion and my plain white dinnerware will be out of style by next Wednesday.

I’m throwing a lot of hate in Fable’s direction right now, and I want to be clear that I don’t actually hate the company. I was equally confused when Arbor Made, a refillable candle company, launched a membership program. But at least candles are a consumable good, and unless I get hangry and start munching on my pasta dishes, dish ware is not exactly consumable.

As we approach ever-changing fall fashion trends, new seasonal decorations, and the frenzy of pre-pre-Black Friday shopping, lots of advertisers are going to spend lots of money convincing consumers that the things we already own aren’t good enough. That we deserve an upgrade. That you can’t possibly be warm enough in last year’s sweater. Companies will spend money on advertisements that follow us to every corner of the Internet and spend money on flashy social media collaborations and spend money to reduce ‘friction’ for a purchase— but a membership program removes the friction for good. Like your streaming subscriptions renew every month, so too will your subscription to ceramic dinnerware. Objects that were once intended to be held for decades and passed on to grandchildren are now as disposable as the junk mail that tries to sell us on the junk stuff.

This product membership program, of course, should not be confused with a reward program. The reward program says “thank you for shopping with me. Here’s a token reward you might eventually be able to redeem for your patronage.” The membership program says “you belong by virtue of owning this object.”

Listen, I understand why a company might be motivated to call something a membership program. A customer forking over $40 a month provides a steady steam of revenue for a company, and don’t we all want to belong to something? We’ve always had subtle little social signals letting us know we belong— the Stanley that grants you membership in #WaterTok— but here, companies aren’t just pretending to sit passively by while the frenzy happens. They are openly manufacturing a ‘community’ around a consumer good that will end up in a landfill when it goes the way of VHS tapes.

There are plenty of ways to gain membership that don’t involve buying a trendy consumer product. Join a knitting club. Or a pickleball league. Host a book club. Do literally anything with the real people in your life, instead of letting a corporation convince you that belonging happens when you click “add to cart.”

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The friend who sent out a 5 year old birthday party invitation with “No presents, please!,” privately telling me that she would lose her ever-loving mind if anything else entered her home.

The friend who lamented that bags of hand-me-down toys magically appear in her playroom every time a family member visits… she said she ‘should’ be grateful, but really, she’s just overwhelmed.

Even in our local Buy Nothing group, posts with toys that aren’t obviously valuable— think Mailegs or Legos— often sit for hours before anyone expresses interest. Stuffed animals are nearly guaranteed to have no takers, no matter their condition.

To be sure, the toy industry itself is still booming. Some of this is full-grown adults (including my husband, ha!) who love assembling elaborate LEGO sets or collecting Star War figurines. But a typical kid will receive nearly 500 toy in their childhood— and one study even found that the average family had nearly 140 toys on display at a time (never mind the toys that were buried in a closet or otherwise ‘out of rotation’). Advertising to children is a hundreds-of-billions dollar business— Mattel alone spends over $500 million annually on marketing— never mind that lower materialism in children is associated with better outcomes.

But if toy production were to end entirely tomorrow, the world would be… just fine.

There are plenty of reasons to want to rein it in on the toy front: 90% of toys are plastic, and therefore destined for a life in landfill. These plastic toys, in particular, also play host to a whole bunch of dangerous chemicals, like endocrine-disrupting phthalates, cancer-causing dioxins, and disturbing clouds of micro-plastics (I’d think twice before hugging that Squishmallow). There are pretty persuasive studies that children play more intently with 4 toys than with 40. And, of course, more toys to trip over, maintain, and nag your child to pick up doesn’t exactly sound like a recipe for a peaceful home.

If you are already gung-ho about a change but wondering where to start, here are some ideas:

Re-think holiday gifting early (like, NOW early)

I’ve already heard several families report that Christmas will be smaller this year thanks to tariffs. I think for families without significant disposable income, that’s probably a pretty reasonable assessment ( at The Purse recently wrote about tariffs and $60 LEGO sets). But tariffs are an external motivator— shopping less because the economy sucks— rather than an intrinsic motivator, like shopping less because we need less. It’s fine to shift our behavior based on this extrinsic motivation, but I’d really love to see some internal shifts.

1. Don’t wait until Christmas Eve to set holiday expectations— but when you do, I’d urge you to frame the story as one of abundance rather than scarcity. “We are so lucky to have so many wonderful toys. This year, mommy/ daddy/ applicable grown-ups decided you’ll be getting a few new things that you really want— but there may not be quite as much under the tree as you’re used to, because our family is deciding to save up for a special experience instead.” You can tailor the specifics to your own family values, but it’s a whole lot easier to get buy-in for something that sounds fun and exciting rather than restrictive.

2. Consider a gifting strategy like “one thing you want, one thing you need, one thing to wear, one thing to read.” Some families commit to three presents per person, to reflect the Biblical tale of the three wise men. Another friend is experimenting with giving all secondhand gifts this year. Be sure to lovingly let family members know if you’d like them to reign in gift-giving or choose experiences over things.

3. Lean in to holiday traditions that maybe don’t involve quite as much stuff: Hot chocolate and movie night. A special drive to see the neighborhood lights. Cozy matching pajamas (that you actually wear again after the holidays).

4. Look for higher quality toys, and toys with fewer plastic components or packaging. Think plastic free board games (Petit Collage has some adorable options) wooden pretend toys (Tender Leaf Toys and Le Toy Van both have robust collections), and polyester free stuffies (like Apple Park Kids and Bears for Humanity). Resist the urge to stuff holiday stockings with dollar store trinkets— candies, socks, and craft supplies can make a stocking look like it’s overflowing without resorting to throwaway toys.

5. When I was growing up, we spent Christmas Eve at my grandparent’s house, and my sibling and I were each allowed to open just one present when we arrived in the morning to play with throughout the day (you just had to hope you were opening a toy and not a t-shirt!). Everything else was opened after dinner. This tradition felt magical— as an adult, it is still one of my favorite childhood memories— because we spent so much time carefully evaluating the items under the tree. Was it the right size and shape? Did it feel soft like a sweatshirt, or was it firm like a book? Did it make a noise that might somehow reveal the contents? This little touch of magic in the day mattered far more than anything we actually received. Look for places you can create this kind of magic, even with fewer presents.

6. Consider editing your kiddo’s toys before the holidays. Toys your little one has outgrown can be passed on just in time for the holidays (while organizations like Toys for Tots might only take new-in-box toys, daycare centers often accept gently used items, and neighbors may be looking to fulfill their little’s holiday lists). With older children, be sure to go through toys together.

Shift the narrative at birthday parties

1. Try putting parameters around presents at birthday parties. You have plenty of options, ranging from: “No presents, please!” to “Here’s a registry of things we could use”. In this stage, we send a registry list to family members and a “no presents, please” to any invited friends. The registry list is typically a mix of next-size shoes, bike helmets, and other necessities, plus a few fun items. (There are a handful of registry platforms out there, but I’ve found Babylist to be the most functional— you can even put multiple family members on the same list).

2. For the love of our communal sanity, please, no plastic trinkets as party favors.

3. Ugh. Speaking of plastic… there’s something valuable in creating a DIY mindset for party decor. I am (ironically?) not a terribly skilled DIYer — blame my lack of art skills— but Buy Nothing groups can be a fantastic source of party decorations. You can build cake toppers out of LEGO, and make backdrops out of simple crepe paper or cardboard. (In my household, thank you to my husband for doing allll of the above, except cakes, where he provides emotional support as I agonize over fondant). If that’s not your thing, try a reusable felt ‘happy birthday’ banner and other meaningful birthday traditions.

4. If birthday parties feel too overwhelming, consider a small family celebration or a special ‘kids day out’— the birthday kid picks the activity, and maybe brings a friend or two.

Re-think your approach to B-list holidays (yes, I went there.)

My five year old recently asked me why we don’t decorate for Halloween. I told her that I’m simply not a decorate for the holidays kind of person (even Christmas decorations stress me out!), but she could be when she grows up, if she wants. But beyond that, I’m just not sure that most people truly get joy out of (most) holiday decor. A few particularly meaningful pieces? Sure. But a closet full of decorations for every holiday and matching ugly-Halloween-sweaters? (That’s really a thing)…. Likely not that meaningful for most of us.

We are approaching the season of back-to-back holidays: Halloween, (American) Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day… the holiday treadmill is relentless, and many of these holidays have become an excuse for elaborate goody baskets of throwaway junk and cheap plastic decorations.

Listen, I’m no grinch— I just think you can preserve the traditions that matter to your family without sending quite so much to landfill. Fill Easter baskets with swimwear or baseball tickets. Offer a special Halloween craft, but you maybe don’t need to contribute meaningfully to the $11.6 billion that Americans are estimated to spend on a single spooky night.

As a birthday party guest (or a doting loved one on the holidays):

Consider what “unsexy” gift you could give for special occasions. Everyone wants to be the one to gift a special doll or much-loved puzzle— I relish the opportunity to be the fun aunt!— but step out of the ‘toy’ zone to consider what else the special kiddo might need. Maybe a pillow for their toddler bed, a new lunch box, or the next-size shoes? Consumable items like diapers or a favorite snack?

How to Talk to Kids About ‘Stuff’

Absolutely none of this matters if you don’t frame the conversations to help kids understand the why.

1. Lead with abundance, not scarcity. It doesn’t really matter whether you can technically afford an item or whether you can’t— it matters how you choose to spend your money. “That looks like a super fun toy kiddo, but we choose to spend our money on better quality toys that last longer.”

2. While we don’t use an allowance with our kids (yet, I’m sure it’s coming!) they do have piggy banks with multiple compartments: “Spend, Save, and Give.” When they receive ‘small change’ money for birthdays, holidays, or just because, they get to decide where it goes. Sometimes we provide a ‘match’ if they decide to put it in save or give, just to encourage the behavior. This helps build anticipation and intentionality as well— my oldest has spent months talking about the $8 elephant she’s saving up for.

3. We also spend a lot— and I do mean a lot— of time talking to our kids about how to take care of their stuff. We’ve had a few mishaps over the years (the absolute worst of which was a 3 year old going rogue with chalk… our car is less than thrilled with its scribbly-makeover) but the kids generally treat their toys well and as a result we don’t often have to throw away broken items. Even a toddler can pick up items on their floor and learn ‘gentle touch.’

4. I know this is a little bit of a niche thing, but if you’ve read this far chances are you’re game to tell kids exactly what’s up: My girls know that plastic is bad for us, and bad for the Earth. (My 5 year old shrieks when the neighborhood recycling truck inevitably dumps plastic all over the road, and we “have to pick it up before the birds eat it, mommy!!”). They know there are some toys that aren’t in line with our values, but that I will bend over backward to find a secondhand or less-toxic alternative for things they really want. They are experienced in putting things they want on a “wait-for-it” list, whether it’s 48 hours or all the way until Christmas. It’s okay to let little ones know exactly what is motivating your decisions— and to ask kids to practice a bit of delayed gratification.

5. Speaking of ‘wait-for-it’ lists… Pro tip: Avoid wandering toy shelves with your children. But if you happen to trip and fall and land in the LEGO aisle, suggest your kiddo take a picture with anything they want to put on a holiday/ birthday list. You just dodged a meltdown, and there’s a good chance your little one will even forget about the beloved item they discovered mere seconds before. That is all.

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It’s okay to cry, they told me. And I did, a little. For the baby girl growing in my uterus who would never get to meet her own grandmother. For the COVID restrictions that meant we were picking up the pieces alone. But not for her. Grief is a funny thing. I could bring myself to grieve, but not for her.

I made the wry joke to my husband, “If I didn’t have mommy issues before, I’m pretty sure my mother setting herself on freaking fire is enough to cause them.” It’s not funny, but I laugh because I don’t know what else to say. What I really feel is resentment and hurt. After spending years coming to terms with my childhood, I was again waking up to nightmares: this time, it was the Wicked Witch of the West, screaming as she dissolved in a puddle on the ground. I lay awake for hours after, making a mental note that the Wizard of Oz isn’t as child appropriate as people seem to think.

I go in my closet, and dig out an old scrap of paper. It’s one of the few things I kept from my childhood, a commitment to myself for a better future:

One day, I will wake up
The sun will be shining through my bedroom window,
And I will be safe and warm under the covers.

When I finally get up, I won’t hear yelling and screaming.
There will be no threats, no broken promises,
No broken hearts or broken lives.
I will never hear the sound of dishes being hurled at the floor,
Resounding with a deafening ‘crack’ that can’t begin to cut the tension in the air.

One day, there will be no acronyms in my house.
No APS, no CPS¹,
No well-intentioned people trying to solve problems they can’t begin to understand.
One day, there will be no blue lights flashing outside my window,
And no uniforms on my front steps.

I won’t have flashbacks and recurring nightmares.
When I close my eyes, I won’t hear my grandma’s scream pierce the night.
The unkind words will no longer come flooding back.
They say sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt.
I’ve never heard a bigger lie.

I stare at the page, at the watermark left from my own tears as I wrote it. I remember how vulnerable and defiant I felt when my 16-year-old self typed the poem into Facebook Notes and finally clicked “Publish.”

Fourteen years and 2,000 miles later, I had become adept at boundary-setting, so much so that my mother and I had actually been able to talk a few times a month for years. All that progress seemed to vanish in an instant. What boundaries can you set to protect yourself from someone who didn’t love you enough to stay on this earth?

And then, I think about my newest job title: “Mommy.”

It’s a role so encompassing that I left my “actual” job—the kind with paychecks and pensionable benefits—to focus entirely on this nebulously-defined position. I come by my over-achieving personality honestly; the hardest thing about parenting for me is the lack of accolades telling you you’re doing it “right.”

And what is “right,” anyway? I follow the checklist: My children rarely get screen time. They eat fruit and sometimes even vegetables. I nursed each of them for over a year and almost never let them cry alone, even when it’s 2am or I desperately need to pee. My Instagram feed and podcast list is full of peaceful, conscious parenting experts reminding me to say, “I’m here for your big feelings.”

My sister-in-law tells me I’m more patient than most people. I’m incredibly moved by the compliment—I’ve heard it enough that I’m no longer surprised, although before children I never would have described myself as such. But also, she’s never heard the voice in my head when my precocious toddler presses the red button on my phone, starting my hours-long ordeal with customer service all over again.

I don’t like that voice in my head. It tells me that the monster I grew up with could—if all the right buttons are pushed and the circumstances are just awful enough—exist within me too. It’s the same monster, I suspect, that my own mother grew up with. But now it’s my job—my full time, all-encompassing role in this world—to make that monster end with me.

It’s no secret that parenting is difficult. Just watch parents carrying a bawling child out of a store or teaching their teenager to drive and you know it’s no walk in the park. Instead of offering a deep, supportive community though, we are telling parents that they can “self-care” their way through the hard stuff. And if you’re a survivor of childhood abuse or trauma, I’m just not so sure that’s the case. An overpriced coffee, solo time to workout, or whatever else currently being hyped as parental self-care is lovely, no doubt. But it’s a band-aid over a stab wound, hiding the fact that even reaching a baseline of “good enough” parenting requires spending every spare moment rewiring your brain.

I go to bed at night exhausted, not only from changing diapers and refilling snack cups and answering endless why? questions, but also because there’s the mental checklist every time I’m working through a hard moment: are the words kind? Am I setting boundaries out of love and not control? Is my tone welcoming, or sharp and irritated? I don’t get it right every time, so then I learn to repair. Every time I say, “I’m sorry, sweetie, let’s try this again,” I wonder what made my own mom too proud to ever utter the same sentence to me.

As a mother, I have developed a better understanding of my own mom. I can empathize with her anger at the way her life turned out: working a series of dead-end jobs despite her graduate degree, resenting my sibling and I for never quite being docile enough to make things easy for her.

Some parts, though, have become more inexplicable. Did she disappear into her own mind because she didn’t want to commit to the family she had created, or because she was aware of the damage she caused when she was present? Did she realize that the names she hurled at her 12-year-old daughter would be the inner voice I’m still shutting down nearly two decades later, or that it would take me years to stop flinching when people hold a kitchen knife in my presence?

If I was feeling generous, perhaps I would tell you that I think everybody does the best they are capable of. But when I look at my little girls, it becomes abundantly clear that my mother’s best simply wasn’t enough.

What does it actually take to end the cycle of generational trauma? I wish I had the perfect answer, but what I keep coming back to is this: find the joy. I see the wistfulness in the older ladies’ eyes at the grocery store, the way they say, “It goes by so fast” with an earnestness that tells me it really does. Not once have I been disappointed by taking the time for an extra bedtime story, having a dance party in the kitchen, or hugging my children while tears are streaming down their faces.

And I remind myself, over and over: what a privilege. What an absolute privilege it is to watch my children grow up to be who they were meant to be in the world. To witness their creativity, sense of humor, and kindness. To be the safe space they can return to.

I think that what we most hope for as humans is to be witnessed. To know that someone sees you—not just on the surface, but all the hidden strengths and vulnerabilities. To see you evolve throughout your life. One of the tasks of healing trauma and re-parenting is to validate the unmet needs you had as a young child. Even watching my little ones, I can’t begin to tell you what toddler Jennifer might have needed. But 10-year-old Jennifer needed, “You can grow up to do anything.” Twenty-two-year-old Jennifer needed, “You are enough.” And 30-year-old Jennifer, well, she needed the moment where your mother watches you holding your baby girl and says, “I remember when I first held you that way.” I will never get that moment.

And, of course, the juxtaposition is not lost on me: the thing that I most want for my girls—to show up fully and with kindness as I bear witness to their lives—is the very thing that my own mother couldn’t bring herself to give her own children.

That cycle ends with me.

1 Adult Protective Services (APS) and Child Protective Services (CPS), respectively.

It’s been two years since pressing publish on this piece, but I still think of it often. I still carry some anger, mostly that she didn’t leave a note. But, I’m sure that people who have lost loved ones to suicide who did leave an explanation are as dissatisfied with the explanation they received as I am about the explanation I didn’t. I think about everything my mom is missing: Every child’s birthday party, every holiday celebration, first steps and first words and first days of (home)school. I think about how we go out to dinner with my grandmother-in-law every week (a ritual I cherish), and how my children have never once had the opportunity to share a meal with my own mom.

I wrestle with whether— and how much— to tell my children, one day, when they ask questions. I assume I’ll answer any question they have, but then I worry that it will increase their own risk of suicide. Statistics aren’t destiny, but I’m acutely aware that my own risk factors soared after my mom took her life.

I don’t have the perfect words for anybody experiencing a mental health crisis, although I wish I did. But I think that part of my mom’s downfall was her inability to ask for— and, more pointedly, her inability to receive— help. Some people don’t have access to enough mental health resources and support; my mom had access and wouldn’t take it. So please: if help is offered, take it. If help isn’t offered, seek it out. (In the United States, 988 is a suicide prevention hotline. If you are postpartum specifically, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is a wonderful resource).

You are so very loved, by family and friends and complete strangers on the Internet. Even if you don’t believe that today, there’s one day that you will— and I want you to stick around long enough to experience that day.

Unrelated to suicide but related to my experience of motherhood, I’ve become more aware of the brevity of the seasons: Eventually, winter folds into spring, which gives way to summer. The screaming infant phase and sleepless nights are temporary, although every one of my babies stretched the definition of ‘temporary sleeplessness’ past the one year mark. With my oldest, I remember walking her up and down the hallway for well over an hour every time she had to nap. I rocked her, I sang to her, I tried every variation of light and dark rooms, and she still screamed. With my third, when it’s nap time I just tuck him into his stroller and take a quick lap around the block. In most cases, his eyes close by the time we pass our neighbor’s flower bed (don’t ask me why I didn’t think of this five years ago). I find it easier to cherish the seasons now that I’m (beginning to) understand just how brief they really are.

I also find it more helpful— perhaps even essential— to shut out the external noise. My brain is a really noise place, and I suspect my mother felt the same way. I’ve adopted her habit of hand-writing to-do lists for the satisfaction of crossing items off, even if it’s just dishes or laundry. I’ve taken bigger steps to quiet superfluous noise that interrupts my attention during the day: to limit social media, to close my phone in a drawer. I’ve been toying around with time-blocking to have a better sense of ‘presence’ in each of my tasks— if that becomes a “thing,” I’ll probably write about it. And, I return again and again to minimalism. My mom struggled with a hoarding disorder, and there’s a certain irony that my primary coping mechanism for just about everything is a good de-clutter. But if it’s a coping mechanism that makes me more present and more engaged with the things and people that really matter, I’m all for it.

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