Intimacy with Ease

Ep. 415: Poly Parenting: Age-Appropriate Disclosure, Boundaries, and Introducing Partners

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 13:41:30 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman welcomes back Candace Sjogren, author of "Polyagony," to discuss how parents can navigate consensual non-monogamy with children. They emphasize that many parents don’t plan for integrating relationship structure with parenting, especially when opening a relationship after having kids, and that conversations must be age-appropriate, focused on safety, love, and belonging—not sex. Sjogren describes “slow roll” disclosure (different families, dates, “special friends,” then partners), highlights risks when children discover things via technology or accidental exposure, and recommends poly-informed therapy and child-centered approaches like play-based talks, giving kids agency over privacy and introductions, and reinforcing special one-on-one time. They also cover introducing partners, cohabitation (roommate framing, separate space), agreements about roles, and recovery after mistakes, with the key takeaway to move slowly and be discerning about what children need to know.

00:00 Show Intro
00:46 Why Poly Parenting Matters
03:50 Most Parents Don’t Plan
05:35 Age Appropriate Disclosure
09:48 Out or Keep It Private
11:43 Telling Teens After Opening Up
13:58 Helping Kids Process
15:54 Kids’ Privacy and Boundaries
18:05 Agency and Parent First
19:29 Giving Kids Control
20:40 Special Time and Jealousy
22:08 Introducing Partners Gently
25:53 Moving In and Boundaries
27:24 Parenting Roles and Agreements
30:26 Real World Mistakes
33:07 Key Takeaways and Resources

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz –

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Ep. 414: [Soapbox] When She Wants More Sex: Desire Discrepancy in Hetero Couples

Jessa Zimmerman — Fri, 28 Aug 2026 12:22:55 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman returns with a soapbox episode on desire discrepancy, focusing on heterosexual relationships where the woman is the higher desire partner. She explains that mismatched desire is normal and common, and that gender doesn’t determine who wants more sex; in her practice, one-third to one-half of hetero couples have a higher desire woman. Because this dynamic conflicts with cultural myths that men always want sex, both partners can feel extra broken: men may feel ashamed, pressured, and avoid sex, while women may doubt their attractiveness, resent having to initiate, or even worry their partner is gay. Zimmerman says the solutions are the same: identify obstacles (including myths), understand reactive desire in men, reduce pass/fail pressure, and learn how to access arousal and desire.

00:00 Welcome to Better Sex
00:45 Soapbox Episode Setup
01:01 Desire Discrepancy Basics
01:33 Gender Myths and Reality
02:23 Why Couples Feel Broken
03:00 Pressure on Low Desire Men
04:03 High Desire Women Doubts
04:46 When She Wonders He's Gay
05:28 What Actually Helps
05:38 Understanding Reactive Desire
05:44 Lowering Pressure and Finding Turn On
06:27 Closing and Where to Find More

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

The #1 Sign You’re a Woman Who Doesn’t Want to Settle For Living Like Roommates

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 24 Aug 2026 16:16:00 GMT

I write about desire discrepancy (libido mismatch) all the time. What I’ve been talking about more lately is the situation where, in a hetero relationship, the woman is the one who wants sex more than the man. This doesn’t surprise me so much because I’ve seen it in my practice for years. In fact, maybe a third to a half of my clients, this is the situation but I think it still surprises a lot of the general public.

We have this idea that men want sex, they’re ready to go. It’s a woman who needs more time or has to get warmed up or needs this emotional connection or whatever it is that makes it harder for them. But the truth is it’s often the reverse.

So do you know that moment when he puts his arm around you on the couch or kisses you good night and it just seems like a little more friendly and you feel that surge? That little bit of hope, like, “Oh maybe tonight, maybe this is it, maybe maybe he’s interested,” and then nothing. He rolls over, he picks up his phone, he falls asleep, whatever it is. That was it, and you just lie there in the dark, feeling kind of like an idiot for even hoping in the first place. Then the devastation rolls in and the sense of rejection and despair and resignation, like maybe it’s just not going to happen.

Here’s what that surge and crash cycle kind of means; a woman who has totally settled for living like roommates has given up, doesn’t feel that surge anymore, doesn’t feel that sense of hope. She wouldn’t get her hopes up anymore. She would just go numb.

The fact that you still feel that flutter, that little bit of hope every time he’s affectionate, that’s not you being naive, that’s you refusing to accept that this is it. Every time you feel that surge, you’re proving that you haven’t given up on that intimacy and that’s actually a really good sign.

If you recognize this, if you know this moment I’m talking about, and if you’ve been hurt, rejected, despairing, resentful, whatever the reactions you’re having, there actually is a way out. This is what I write about all the time. Your guy is actually up against a lot and there’s a lot we can do to reduce that pressure and make this entire arena fun and easy for both of you again, where it can feel playful and light and a wonderful part of your relationship instead of a stressful one.

Ep. 413: Stigma, Shame, and Sex: How Culture, Religion, Family, and Media Shape Desire

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 24 Aug 2026 14:37:49 GMT

Host Jessa Zimmerman interviews New York City sex therapist and trainer Sari Cooper about how sexual stigma and shame are shaped by culture, religion, family dynamics, and implicit messages like silence or lack of affection modeling. Cooper shares her background from a liberal upbringing and modern dance into a helping profession where sex felt taboo, and discusses nuanced bicultural and first-generation experiences, including how differing immigration stories within the same culture can affect sexual expectations. They explore how shame can show up in issues like masturbation and orgasm avoidance, and how the internet can both improve access to sex education and distort expectations through porn and social media trends. Cooper describes helping clients evaluate which rituals and beliefs remain meaningful without dismissing heritage, emphasizes taking a thorough sexual history and practicing curiosity in couples work, and explains her Erotic Intimacy Academy training (SEEIT) and the value of SAR-style self-exploration for therapists.

00:00 Show Intro
00:44 Meet Sari Cooper
01:26 Why Stigma Matters
03:56 Culture Religion Messages
07:19 Family Silence Modeling
10:42 Rituals And First Period
13:13 Hidden Shame In Therapy
15:31 Internet Porn Social Shifts
19:24 Midroll Quiz Break
19:50 Gen Z Sex Dating Choices
21:29 Parenthood Decisions Trauma
22:51 Family Trauma And Genetics
23:30 Dating Apps And Disconnection
25:01 Avoiding Apps After Burnout
25:20 Shame Stigma And Culture
28:43 Purity Culture And Loss
31:36 Couples Across Cultures
34:33 Sex Seam Model And Training
35:52 Therapist Comfort And SAR
38:04 Where To Find Sari
39:35 Podcast Wrap Up

Jessa's quizzes are available at

https://www.desirediscepancy.com

Bio:

Sari Cooper is an AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist & Supervisor and Founder and Director of the Center for Love and Sex (CLS), a boutique group practice specializing in sex therapy, couples counseling, and individual clients challenged with erotic and sexual disorders. She created Sex Esteem, LLC to provide coaching, books, blogs, and Talks to the public on critical, cutting-edge insight on how to center one’s sexual pleasure in dating, ‘relationshipping,’ and mating. Her Sex Esteem® blog has been read by over 1,000,000 readers, and you can follow her @saricooperofficial on Instagram and FB and on Linkedin: linkedin.com/in/-sari-cooper-center-for-love-and-sex.

www.centerforloveandsex.com

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

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It's totally normal for the woman (in a hetero relationship) to be the "higher desire partner."

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 17 Aug 2026 17:46:57 GMT

Lately one of the things I’ve been really thinking about is the situation where, in a hetero relationship, it’s the woman who wants more sex than the man. That is more common than you probably think. In my therapy practice, I would say it’s probably a third to a half of the hetero couples that come in for sex therapy where it’s a woman who wants more. …

Ep. 412: What couples therapy misses about the body

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 17 Aug 2026 16:23:28 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Pavini Moray about why somatic approaches are vital in couples and sex therapy, especially when talk therapy leads to over-processing without change. Pavini shares their path from Montessori education to sexological bodywork and how embodiment, intentional attention, and practice support sexual and relational healing. They discuss how working with both partners reveals the relationship dynamic behind issues like sexual aversion, and how disconnection from the body often reflects survival responses to trauma and minimized negative sexual experiences. Pavini emphasizes listening to the body’s “no,” dropping rigid ideas of what sex “should” look like, and using low-stakes, fully clothed experiential exercises (like mindful hand-touch) to rebuild safety and desire. They also describe how queerness supports liberatory redefinition of sexuality and relationships, and they mention resources on contempt and deciding whether to stay or leave.

00:00 Show Intro
00:54 Meet Bhavani Moray
02:09 Why Somatics Works
03:13 Her Path Into Couples Work
05:09 Embodiment Attention Practice
06:52 Why Both Partners Matter
09:21 Somatics In Sex Therapy Today
12:21 Trauma Disconnection And Healing
15:50 Mid Episode Subscribe Break
16:29 When Couples Wait Too Long
19:43 Seeing Real Change
20:06 What Couples Fight About
20:46 Healing Over Skills
21:38 Inner Child Cowboy Hats
23:42 Playful Somatic Experiments
24:45 Rewriting Sex Shoulds
27:21 Sexual Aversion and Consent
29:49 Tiny Touches Big Shifts
31:29 Queer Lens for Straight Couples
34:53 Resources and Farewell

Jessa's substack: https://www.intimacywithease.com/substack

Bio:
Pavini Moray is a somatic coach, Relational Life Therapy practitioner, and the author of How to Hold Power and the forthcoming Tending the Bones: Reclaiming Pleasure after Transgenerational Sexual Trauma.

With a PhD in Somatic Psychology and 30 years of experience working at the intersection of the body, relational patterns, and erotic healing, Pavini helps people move out of adaptive survival strategies and into the embodied, boundaried presence that actually changes how they relate to themselves, to their partners, and to the people they lead.

Their work with couples and individuals centers on what it takes to stop performing intimacy and start experiencing it: through the nervous system, through the body, through the slow, sometimes uncomfortable work of becoming genuinely relational.

A queer, nonbinary human walking the path of old magick and ridiculous delight, Pavini believes that the erotic is not separate from the political, the spiritual, or the everyday, and that learning to be truly present with the people we love most is where sparkle begins.

Here are the landing pages for those resources:
https://pavinimoray.kit.com/15e660bcf4
https://pavinimoray.kit.com/0f00c33ad3

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Ep. 411: The Book of Ecstasy: Finding Joy, Connection, and Transformation Beyond Orgasm

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 10 Aug 2026 12:40:05 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Barbara Carrellas, author of The Book of Ecstasy, about ecstasy as a transformative state that goes beyond pleasure, sex, and orgasm into connection, awe, and ego-dissolution. Carrellas describes how her work was shaped during the AIDS crisis in 1980s New York, where grief and catharsis often fueled joy, and explains ecstasy as a reset button that can be personally, spiritually, socially, and politically important. They discuss how ecstasy can arise through many experiences (including dancing, food, protest, nature, birth, and death), how intensity can help by balancing safety and risk, and how skills like breath, grounding, and intention support ecstatic states. Carrellas offers beginner practices—listing nonsexual turn-ons, meditating on “something more,” and embracing one’s inner teenager—and shares resources on her website.

00:00 Welcome to Better Sex
00:48 Meet Barbara Carrellas
01:34 AIDS Crisis Origins
03:51 Tragedy and Ecstasy
05:21 Awe and Ego Dissolution
06:46 Defining Ecstasy
08:41 Everyday Ecstatic Life
11:48 Joy as Resistance
14:21 Ecstasy as Spiritual Practice
15:33 Connection Me We Us
18:03 Host Resources Break
18:41 Ecstasy Not A Contest
19:52 Speaking The Same Language
21:43 Kink Safety And Risk
24:14 Breath Energy Orgasms
25:34 Beyond Sex And Politics
27:50 Psychedelics And Everyday Ecstasy
29:12 Solo Practice With A Partner
33:08 Beginner Steps To Ecstasy
35:45 Books Resources And Farewell

Want to work with Jessa?

https://www.intimacywithease.com

Bio:
Barbara Carrellas (she/her) is the bestselling author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-first Century and the upcoming Book of Ecstasy, from St. Martin’s Essentials. Barbara is the founder of Urban Tantra®, an international community, a philosophy, and an inclusive conscious sexuality practice that encourages people of all genders and sexual preferences to expand their capacity for both pleasure and spiritual fulfillment. Barbara was named Best Tantric Sex Seminar Leader in New York City by Time Out/NY Magazine, and was presented with a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Sexual Freedom Awards in London. Barbara is a proud graduate of the Coney Island Sideshow School with a double major in fire eating and snake handling.

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Coffee Chat Q & A Live with Jessa Zimmerman

Jessa Zimmerman — Sat, 08 Aug 2026 14:25:35 GMT

Available for iOS and Android

Ep. 410: [Soapbox] Tuesday Is Different Than Thursday: Communicating Pleasure in Sex

Jessa Zimmerman — Thu, 06 Aug 2026 16:56:05 GMT

Jessa argues that each person is responsible for their own sexual pleasure by learning what feels good, what turns them on, and then clearly sharing that information with a partner. She emphasizes that partners aren’t mind readers and don’t have the same instant feedback loop as masturbation, so words, demonstrations, and usable vocabulary are crucial for guiding touch. Sharing preferences should be framed as a gift of information rather than criticism, since most partners want to please and be good lovers. Jessa notes that there is no fixed “recipe” because desire and sensation change over time and even from day to day—“Tuesday is different than Thursday”—making it important to keep speaking up and offering real-time guidance.

00:00 Tuesday vs Thursday
00:05 Own Your Pleasure
01:06 Feedback Not Criticism
01:46 Find the Words
02:25 Show and Tell Touch
02:42 No Fixed Recipe
03:03 Speak Up in the Moment

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Ep. 409: Reclaiming Desire After 50: Nervous System Regulation, Novelty, and Communication

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 12:51:34 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Dr. Julie Merriman about her book, Are We Gonna Have Sex or What?, focused on helping women over 50 reclaim pleasure and desire. Merriman explains that decreased libido is often less about menopause alone and more about decades of high-functioning “survival mode” that dysregulates the nervous system, tightens the body, and takes pleasure offline; hormone support can help but may not be sufficient without addressing stress, numbness, and disconnection from the body. They discuss midlife as a “homecoming” with clearer boundaries, the effects of long-term relationships, obligatory sex, and lack of sexual communication, and the importance of safety, validation, and active listening. Practical approaches include restoring novelty in and out of the bedroom, taking intercourse off the table temporarily, pleasure mapping, addressing body shame, and managing menopausal changes like dryness with movement and vaginal products.

00:00 Welcome to Better Sex
01:01 Meet Julie Merriman
02:51 Why Midlife Changes Hit
03:24 Survival Mode Nervous System
05:31 Hormones and Zero Fucks
07:40 Desire vs Access to Desire
09:40 Functional Freeze and Pleasure
11:41 Long Term Sex Ruts
13:00 Talking About Sex Again
14:34 Responsive Desire Explained
15:33 Safety in the Body
17:13 Desire Discrepancy Resources
17:39 Communication First
19:39 Novelty as Adventure
20:47 No Pressure Sex
21:13 Pleasure Mapping Reset
21:53 Aging Body Conversations
23:06 Body Acceptance Practices
24:56 Gratitude and Tantra
26:47 Menopause Comfort Tools
29:26 Book and Where to Find
30:44 Final Wrap Up

Jessa's Desire Discrepancy resources are at:

https://www.desirediscrepancy.com

Bio: Dr. Julie Merriman is a licensed mental health clinician, counselor educator, burnout researcher, author and speaker. As the founder of the Soul Joy™ brand, she serves as a premier authority for women over 50 navigating the intersection of professional burnout and personal intimacy.

With over 30 years of clinical experience and academic leadership—including tenures as a professor, department head, and associate dean—Dr. Merriman has dedicated her career to the science of human helping. Her work is deeply rooted in polyvagal theory and somatic neurobiology, providing a bridge between academic rigor and soul-led transformation.

Her personal journey through profound burnout and a subsequent breast cancer diagnosis informs her "scorched earth" approach to healing—proving that rebirth is possible at any age. She is the author of the 12-week guide, In Pursuit of Soul Joy, and the forthcoming book, Are We Gonna Have Sex or What? (April 13, 2026)

https://www.juliemerrimanphd.com/

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Ep. 408: [Soapbox] When Lower Desire is a Mask

Jessa Zimmerman — Thu, 30 Jul 2026 13:51:53 GMT

In this Soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explores how the common higher-desire/lower-desire framework is helpful but doesn’t always accurately describe what’s happening in a relationship. She outlines two main ways desire can be “masked”: a higher-desire partner may detach from wanting sex after repeated disappointment, becoming resigned and avoiding sex because it’s less painful than hoping; or someone may have desire but avoid sex with their partner due to unresolved relationship issues like conflict, power struggles, resentment, or unspoken complaints. Jessa shares an example where years without sex changed once a partner’s underlying unhappiness was addressed and the relationship “container” improved. She emphasizes using the sexual avoidance cycle to identify obstacles—relationship problems, stress, medical or mental health factors—before assuming low libido.

00:00 Show Intro
00:45 Soapbox Setup
00:56 When Desire Roles Blur
02:07 Giving Up on Sex
03:20 Relationship Barriers
03:56 Client Breakthrough Story
04:46 Sexual Avoidance Cycle
05:47 Outro and Credits

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Will insurance cover couples counseling?

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 27 Jul 2026 16:00:05 GMT

I wish it did…

Many clients reach out with the hope of using their insurance for couples counseling. And the truth is that some therapists are willing to take steps to submit to insurance, but those steps end up being risky. Especially for the therapist, but even for the clients.

Ep. 407: The Science of Pleasure, Trauma & Longevity

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 27 Jul 2026 14:38:04 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews functional medicine clinician and neurofeedback specialist Dr. Stephanie Rimka about emotional regulation as a biological process involving safety, the vagus nerve, brainwaves, hormones, and co-regulation through relationships. Rimka describes how chronic sympathetic activation undermines metabolic health, longevity, and mitochondrial function, framing trauma as an energy collapse that can lead to anxiety, depression, or dissociation and arguing that biological support can make therapy more effective. She discusses environmental inputs (nature, light, sound, EMF) that affect regulation and mitochondrial health, and connects these ideas to sex by defining “aliveness” as orgasm, emphasizing women’s pleasure as a potent healer that requires safety and embodiment. She contrasts solo versus partnered pleasure via bonding chemistry and shares a case using daily non-performative receiving of pleasure to support a patient’s cancer recovery and marriage, and provides resources at yoursoulbeautiful.com and drrimka.com.

00:00 Welcome to Better Sex
00:45 Meet Dr Stephanie Rimka
01:32 Her Path Into Healing
03:17 Stress Mothers and Intimacy
05:34 What Emotional Regulation Means
08:34 Safety Before Regulation
10:42 Co Regulation and Botox
12:56 Why Parasympathetic Matters
17:04 Vagus Nerve Basics
19:17 When Regulation Becomes Avoidance
20:24 Sympathetic Overdrive Costs
22:06 Mitochondria and Trauma
26:32 Light EMF and Lifestyle
28:56 Defining Trauma States
29:36 Westernization and Mental Health
30:05 Anxiety Trough Explained
31:06 Panic and Mitochondria
32:34 Freeze Response and Depression
35:11 Dissociation and Healing Path
35:46 Therapy Needs Energy First
38:19 Sex as Embodiment Tool
39:01 Aliveness and Orgasm Scale
41:30 Pleasure Chemistry and Safety
44:46 Partnered Sex and Bonding
46:25 Prescribing Pleasure for Recovery
51:42 Resources and Closing Thanks

Jessa's quizzes are available at

https://www.desirediscrepancy.com

Bio:

Dr. Stephanie Rimka is a clinician, author, and expert in nervous system regulation, trauma healing, hormonal health, and mitochondrial function. With over 25 years of experience, she has helped individuals recover from burnout, chronic stress, and emotional overwhelm through science-backed approaches. Dr. Rimka teaches how to rebuild mental resilience and emotional clarity, emphasizing the importance of the mind-body connection in achieving long-term health, vitality, and success.

www.yoursoulbeautiful.com
www.drrimka.com

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Ep. 406: Gender, Loneliness, and Reconnection

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 20 Jul 2026 14:06:28 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Anthony Silard back to discuss research-based, average gender differences in relationships, community-building, and loneliness. Silard explains how women tend to have more robust “social convoys” than men, contributing to outcomes like higher male mortality after a spouse’s death, and describes stress responses such as “tend and befriend.” He outlines severe psychological and physical impacts of loneliness, cites rising loneliness rates across countries, and links male loneliness to shifting roles, work focus, and the “four PRs” (procreate, produce, provide, protect). Silard presents three unmet needs that drive loneliness—belonging, connection, and contribution—and offers practical reconnection strategies, including talking to strangers and the “one question rule” focused on feelings, plus compassionate communication to identify unmet needs in relationships.

00:00 Show Intro
00:44 Episode Setup
01:33 Gender Research Caveats
03:07 Widowhood and Social Convoys
06:15 Mens Group vs Womens Network
08:11 Tend and Befriend Stress Response
10:50 Loneliness Harms and Health Costs
14:46 Loneliness Crisis Worldwide
17:34 Mens Roles and Four PRs
19:44 Parenthood and the Work Gap
23:09 Why Men Get Isolated
25:13 Three Needs Behind Loneliness
26:19 Belonging vs Connection Examples
29:49 Contribution and Workplace Loneliness
31:08 Sponsor Break and Relationship Pivot
32:10 Lonely In Marriage
32:37 Four PRs Mindset
34:46 Screens And Male Isolation
36:23 Midlife Identity Shifts
37:08 Talk To Strangers
38:47 Empathy Gap Hack
42:54 Belong Connect Contribute
44:24 One Question Rule
48:43 Feeling On Your Feet
57:24 Needs Based Communication
01:00:05 Books And Resources
01:02:16 Podcast Wrap Up

Work with Jessa:

https://www.intimacywithease.com

Bio:
Anthony Silard, Ph.D is a professor of leadership and the Director of the Center for Sustainable Leadership at Luiss Business School in Rome. Anthony has provided leadership development coaching and training to thousands of CEOs and senior executives of Fortune 100 companies, small businesses, and the world’s largest nonprofits, including GE, Disney, Nokia, Bank of America, IBM, CARE, Save the Children, and the American Red Cross.

Anthony has also coached political leaders, including G-20 cabinet ministers. He has taught leadership at various universities around the world, including IESE Business School, Claremont McKenna College, the Monterrey Institute of Technology, INCAE Business School, California State University San Bernardino and the International University of Catalonia and has lectured on leadership at Harvard, Stanford, Georgetown, the University of California at Berkeley, George Washington University, Cal Poly Pomona, and ESADE Business School.

Anthony has received numerous awards for his work, including Harvard’s Robert F. Kennedy Public Service Award, was named Visionary of the Year by the PBS series The Visionaries, and was featured at the Presidential Summit for America’s Future and America’s Promise. Anthony holds a PhD in leader- ship from IESE Business School, which he received with First-Class/Excellent Distinction, a Master’s in Public Policy focused on leadership from Harvard University, and a BA from the University of California at Berkeley.

He also served in the Peace Corps in Kenya for two years. Anthony is CEO of the Global Leadership Institute and President of the Center for Social Leadership. He lives with his wife and two children in Rome.

theartoflivingfree.org/freehappinessandfriendshipbooks

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclas

Ep. 405: The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 13 Jul 2026 13:40:07 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Johns Hopkins urologic surgeon and researcher Dr. Arthur Burnett about erectile dysfunction from a holistic biopsychosocial perspective. Burnett explains how erections work as a vascular function regulated by the nervous system, and how physical factors like hypertension, atherosclerosis, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and nerve or hormone issues can interfere. They discuss how stress and performance anxiety can biologically affect erections via adrenaline, and how oral medications like Viagra and Cialis work by reducing a “brake” in the erection pathway, though effectiveness can change as overall health changes. Burnett emphasizes thorough assessment beyond quick prescriptions, including counseling when appropriate, and reviews a treatment ladder from lifestyle changes to oral meds, vacuum devices, penile injections, and penile implants, noting implants typically preserve sensation and can reduce anxiety when expectations are realistic.

00:00 Show Introduction
00:43 Meet Dr Arthur Burnett
01:43 Why Study Erectile Dysfunction
03:30 How Erections Work
05:43 Physical Causes of ED
06:56 Nerves Orgasm and Erection
08:03 Holistic Assessment Approach
10:56 Stress Anxiety and Viagra
13:07 Mid Episode Substack Break
13:47 When Therapy Helps
15:12 Lifestyle Changes That Improve ED
17:42 When to Use Medical Treatments
18:55 When Pills Stop Working
20:08 Second Line Treatment Options
22:44 Considering Penile Implants
24:09 Implant Sensation and Expectations
26:52 Choosing the Right Urologist
28:54 Where to Find Dr Burnett
30:14 Closing and Credits

Visit Jessa's substack: https://www.intimacywithease.com/substack

Bio:

Arthur L. “Bud” Burnett II, MD, MBA, FACS, is a globally recognized Johns Hopkins urologist, researcher, Viagra Pioneer and educator whose pioneering work in men’s health and erectile function has transformed care worldwide.

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclas

Q & A Coffee Chat Live with Jessa Zimmerman

Jessa Zimmerman — Sat, 11 Jul 2026 14:08:53 GMT

Available for iOS and Android

Ep. 404: [Soapbox] HRT is not Primarily About Libido

Jessa Zimmerman — Thu, 09 Jul 2026 14:52:48 GMT

In a soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman clarifies a common misconception that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is mainly meant to increase libido. Drawing from two recent conversations—one with a post-menopausal client experiencing painful sex and resisting HRT as a “fix,” and another with a man wondering why his wife’s HRT didn’t dramatically raise desire—she explains that libido changes can happen but are more like an added bonus. Zimmerman emphasizes HRT’s broader purposes, including relief of menopause symptoms (hot flashes, night sweats, sleep issues), easing vaginal dryness/atrophy and pain, helping prevent UTIs via vaginal estrogen, improving brain fog and mood, and supporting longer-term health such as bone and heart health, diabetes prevention, muscle preservation, and potentially reduced cancer risk.

00:00 Welcome to Better Sex
00:44 Soapbox Episode Setup
01:05 HRT Libido Misconception
01:17 Client Story Pain and Menopause
02:33 Partner Expectations About HRT
03:18 HRT Benefits Beyond Sex
03:29 Menopause Symptom Relief
03:53 UTIs and Vaginal Estrogen
04:23 Brain Fog Mood and Health
05:01 Bigger Picture and Next Steps
05:50 Outro and Listener Support
06:38 Credits and Goodbye

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass

Why You're Not Broken Just Because You Don't Want Sex

Jessa Zimmerman — Wed, 08 Jul 2026 19:48:21 GMT

Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

Available for iOS and Android

Good Faith Communication vs Gaslighting

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 06 Jul 2026 15:08:48 GMT

One of the questions that gets raised in meeting with clients and students, when I ask them to question their interpretation of events, is whether that opens the door to gaslighting. I’ve been giving this some real thought, because it gets to the heart of what makes communication (and relationships) healthy.

To give a little bit of background, I teach so…

Ep. 403: Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy for Intimacy and Sex

Jessa Zimmerman — Mon, 06 Jul 2026 14:02:12 GMT

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews therapist Hannah Buzzo about psychedelic-assisted therapy for intimacy and sex, for individuals and couples. Buzzo describes her background in addiction and trauma work (including EMDR), her training in trauma treatment with psychedelics, and how psychedelic work can make it easier to address taboo topics like sexuality and soften defenses in a safe, compassionate way. She contrasts this with limits of talk therapy, citing biological effects such as decreased default mode network activation and the nervous-system sense of safety that can enable corrective experiences for trauma and attachment wounds. Buzzo explains safety practices including extensive preparation and integration sessions, emphasizes it’s not for everyone (noting bipolar/psychosis risks and lack of support systems), and outlines common formats and medicines used in Colorado (primarily ketamine and sometimes psilocybin), including retreat-based intensives with medical screening and onsite medical support.

00:00 Welcome to Better Sex
00:47 Meet Hannah Buzzo
02:22 Why Psychedelics for Intimacy
07:44 Beyond Talk Therapy
10:33 Safety Preparation Integration
15:06 Who It’s For
16:35 Medicines and Process
19:11 Inside a Couples Session
23:37 Retreat Format Explained
26:29 Medical Oversight and Risks
28:29 Legality and Future
32:09 Contact and Wrap Up

Interested in psychedelics as it pertains to couples work? Learn more at

https://www.heartweaveforcouples.com

Guest Bio:

Hannah Buzzo is the Founder and Clinical Director of Alchemy Therapy & Wellness and the first therapist to bring psychedelic-assisted therapy to Summit County, CO. A pioneer in the field, she challenges traditional talk therapy with bottom-up, experiential approaches that target the subconscious and nervous system. Her work supports individuals and couples heal trauma, deepen intimacy, and restore connection through the integration of mind, body, and spirit.

https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourse

The Book –

https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass