We just got over being sick (again) if you can believe it. A summer of joy and ice cream and strep throat and the flu, apparently. Everyone keeps telling me that we’re building up our immunity for our trip, and I really hope they’re right.

We’ve decided to pull Ollie out of his pre-school next week before we leave. Because while I think I can survive the jet lag to Italy with two littles in tow, I’m not sure if I would be able to survive if a fever was thrown into the mix.

A few recent life updates include:

-A new couch I impulse purchased on Facebook marketplace while my husband was out of town, encouraging me to entirely rearrange and restyle the first floor of our home. Do you ever just get the urge? The couch was $250 and felt like such a steal I just HAD to do it.

-Got a Korean lash lift for the first time and my goooooooddness I am loving it. I always find that Chicago is a little bit slower to adopt beauty trends, and after scouring the Internet, trying to find someone nearby that did this style of lash lifts, found myself booking with someone that does the lash lifts outside of her home. But she was kind and wonderful and a VERY good esthetician and I’m so glad I proceeded without caution. If you live in Chicago and are interested, let me know and I’ll send you her deets!

-Finished reading the highly recommended, Lost Lambs and rate it a VERY high 4.7999. It’s about a dysfunctional family, (is any family not?) and weaves beautifully between characters and storylines; a perfect combination of quirky and strange. I thank this book and this book only for getting me out of the depths of my reading rut.

-I’m almost finished reading The Shampoo Effect, which I had started and stopped a few months ago, because it was not what I was expecting from the same author of Pineapple Street, (a FANTASTIC read, might I add). But after picking it back up and being delightfully surprised, can confidently say it’s another book I’d recommend. Now: what to stock pile my Libby with on the off chance I get some time to read on our trip.

In entirely unrelated, but hey-while-you’re-here news, we ran into a bee hive debacle of sorts this weekend. Long (and strange) story short, our neighbor we share an alley with tried to get rid of their hive by bringing it across the alley to our trash bins. Luckily we saw who it was on our security cameras and eventually got them to take back the beehive but if you were to ask me how my weekend was, I would tell you…it was eventful.

Anywho. Here’s a picture of this week’s summer pasta, which I make during the summer each and every single Sunday. No exceptions. Thank you, for this one. You are a dream and an icon!!!!!

Now, back to the meat and potato of things: Tuscany.

September, at least for me, is my favorite time to travel to Europe. The streets are a little less crowded, things are just slightly cooling down, and the timing always provides me with a clean break between the seasons.

Me and Mike got married in September 2022 and honeymooned immediately after in France and Italy, so it also feels like the luckiest and most logical time for us to visit. Maybe just a tad sentimental too.

For this year’s European venture, we leave August 29, (what I still think of as late summer) and return mid-September, (which is inarguably fall, to me).

Until then, I will be avoiding any talk of fall because it feels like my summer is just beginning.

We recently changed our trip to spend the full vacation in Tuscany, sans one night before we head back in Rome and I can already feel my future self thanking me.

The hotels have been booked for a while now, but we’re in that sweet spot where we don’t technically need to be doing anything but getting excited, and obviously bracing ourselves for the flight.

My outfits are still slowly coming together, although I’ve been much more focused on the boys rotation of shoes, swimmers and shirts. I’m thinking a bit less about cool, instagrammable outfits, and more about bringing less items, with the intention of those items doing more.

Take this simple white tee that I’ve been finding myself gravitating toward daily. One of those times you pray to thank the instagram ads algorithm for knowing you so well. This one hits every time and I know will be in the regular rotation for my two week Tuscan stint.

I finallyyyyyyyy found the perfect sun hat after two months of try-on’s and returns. It’s bar far the cheapest one I ordered, not to mention the most packable and I already have a feeling my mom and sister will both be reaching for it on our trip.

Updated packing list below with a few new beloved wins, (inclusive of my favorite white tee, obviously). You know the drill. Choose your fighter.

And as always, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for being here! I can’t wait to take you with me to Tuscany in T-9 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom lost her own mother one month before she gave birth to my older sister, and my dad lost his father just two months after my older sister was born. I think having parents who lost one of their own while entering parenthood has made me fully realize and appreciate the specialness of our boys being able to spend time and grow close with their grandparents.

I savor each and every moment between Ollie, Louie and their grandma when she’s here; watching her teach Ollie to paint with watercolors, hearing him pick up on her sayings like, “whoopsie-doodle” which he uses regularly, and listening to a constant stream of giggles from both her and the boys.

It’s a joy to watch Ollie soaking in her child-like playfulness through art and cuddles and laughter. And her, soaking in his curiosity and joy. If you grew up without or with limited grandparents, you know the closeness you feel to them without ever having known them, or knowing them for even a limited time. It’s such a beautiful part of becoming a mother that I will never take for granted.

It’s also been nice having her here during this season of so much change and uncertainty. My 9-5 has been…9-5’ing. And I’ve been having such a difficult time keeping up.

I remember it taking some time to adjust when I went back to work after my maternity leave with Ollie, but this feels different. Like the gears that for so long shifted seamlessly, now simply will not click back into place.

I always say that Mike does a good job bringing me to the surface when things feel heavy. And I think my mom does a good job at sitting with me in those depths. Sometimes you need to do both.

In more positive news, there’s a lot of preparation and excitement building in our home because we’re officially four weeks out from Italy…!!! I can’t believe it. Ollie will be just under three years-old, and Louie, seven months. What could go wrong?!

When I tell most people that we’re traveling overseas with the boys, they look at me like I’m crazy. But it’s a trip we’ve been talking about doing for my dad’s 70th for a good chunk of my adult life, and there is truly nothing that could hold me back. Sleep and sanity be damned.

What I will say is that it’s not our first rodeo. It will be right around two years ago that we did a Europe trip for our friend’s wedding in Ireland, squeezing Paris, Provence, and London in before the final destination of Dromoland into two carryons for myself, my husband and our then, 10-month-old.

It was one of the best trips of my life despite the very late nights spent by the pool, (midnight aperol spritz in hand) adjusting to the time change, and countless sleepless nights over the course of two weeks. Proof below that we not only survived, but thrived.

We’ve traveled with Ollie a lot in his two and a half years between weddings and trips to see family and friends; 19 in flights in total. Yes, I was curious myself so I counted. You’d think we’d be experts by now. But we are far, far from it.

There is truly nothing as humbling as traveling with kids, let me tell you. Apart and from distraction, hope, and a prayer for the best, you really have no control over how things will go.

Over the past couple of years I’ve had so many people ask me how we do it; many of them assuming that we’ve unlocked a secret code or have a child who is easy to travel with, which could not be further from the truth.

In short, what I tell people when they ask me this question is that you just do it. You buy the plane ticket. You book the hotel. You pack the bags and you go. It’s not perfect, but it is always so very worth it.

I’m trying to pack as little as possible given the number of diapers, wet wipes and toddler gear that we’re cramming into our luggage, so it’s more important than ever to bring pieces I can wear over and over again. I’m not one to buy a completely new wardrobe when I go on trips, and wince when I see shopping haul videos, knowing so many items will be worn once for a picture and forever forgotten about. What I ammmm doing for this trip is putting a lot of time and thought and care into the pieces I bring.

What I’m thinking so far. Choose your fighter:

If you’ve recently travelled to Tuscany and have any recommendations, I am all ears!!! And as always, if you made it this far, thank you for reading! It means the world. Over and out!

The past two weeks rocked me, mostly due to the amoxicillin that wreaked havoc on my nervous system and, shoutable mention, gave Ollie a hives-looking-rash he referred to as his “stars”. But, we’re on the other side of it now and I’m feeling very grateful that things seem to be calming down. I have about three thousand to do’s between work, unpacking from MN, and planning for our Europe trip, (now only five weeks away !!!!!) but also have so much on my mind that I feel as if I don’t put my metaphorical pen to paper I will combust, so here we are. In my notes app instead of working through my to do’s. Did I mention our nanny is out sick today? Anywho, let’s get to it!

Minnesota girl
We got back from our weekend in Minnesota on Sunday afternoon, which was a perfect whirlwind of sunshine, cinnamon rolls and the most perfect crisp bottle of rose that I will be on the hunt for in Chicago. If you ever find yourself in Minneapolis, I urge you to pay a visit to Cork Dork where a keen group of nerdy adult men will enthusiastically recommend unique, delicious wines, always at an impressively low price point. Now back to it.

I grew up just outside of Minneapolis and end up visiting several times a year to see my sister, mom and best friend, who recently had her third baby we got to meet on our trip. Minnesota, and specifically my mom’s backyard fills my cup in a way no other place in the world really ever has. The ever-so-lovey recently wrote about visiting her farm, and how our favorite places allow us to slow down while we’re there, making us feel lighter when we leave, and I feel that so deeply in my bones about our trips to my hometown.

The thing about our trips to MN is that we never really do much. And I think that’s what makes it so special. I usually spend as much time as I can, (or as much time as anyone can that has a toddler and a six month old) lounging on my mom’s hammock, listening to Ollie giggle with his grandma and looking at all of the new art my mom’s made since our last visit. For example, she recently painted her refrigerator pink, made a cutout life-size robot for Ollie and painted a headboard mural above her bed.

It was Lou’s first time visiting Minnesota and also his first plane ride, which he managed with ease and grace and we celebrated the occasion with long walks to the park, pointing out each and every bug, bird and squirrel in sight and simply soaking in the whimsy that is my mother, who is truly a story-book grandmother to my two boys.

I’ve lived in Chicago now for ten years and as much as I love it here, there’s just something about Minnesota that will always feel like home more than my current home ever has to me. It really just has that je ne sais quoi, and if you’ve never been I highly recommend visiting in the summertime. MUST DO’s include a walk around Lake Harriet and a parooze through Linden Hills with stop at…

• Wild Rumpus, which is the most magical children’s book store with cats and birds roaming about freely

• Turtle Bread for pastries (or sandwiches, depending on the time of day you visit)

• Rosalia for pizza, wine and apps

• Broder’s pasta bar for an early dinner and a glass (or glasses!) of wine

• Sebastian Joe’s for the world’s best ice cream.

…and as Ollie has been saying, “kadaborah”: you’ve had yourself a perfect day in Minneapolis. I do wish I could add my mom’s backyard to this list. But hey, if you’re in the area I’m sure she would love to have you!

Long distance best friendship
My best friend Caylie visited us last week from Norway, and during a tearful “see you in six months” at the moment of her departure, I started thinking about all that I’m grateful for of our long distance best friendship. Not in a “distance makes the heart grow fonder” kind of way, but in a way that allows me to be so completely and utterly present when I am with her, experiencing so much gratitude to be on the same time zone and breathing the same air as one another after so many months of FaceTime phone tag.

Caylie was my first friend I met when I moved to Sydney after graduating from university. She took me in and immediately gave me a sense of home being so far away from my own. Years later and after officiating mine and my husband’s wedding, our friendship has continued to stay strong despite a 7 hour time change, and the Atlantic and Arctic Ocean’s that sit between us. It’s always so special getting to have her experience our world and the little moments in between. I love that she knows how I got the enormous bruise on my knee, because she was sitting on my bed when I clumsily walked into our wardrobe; that she knows which books Ollie is wanting to read over and over again, (right now it’s Hat Back) and that she fully understands the reality of the time and effort that is currently going into our bedtime routine with both of our boys right now.

If you have any long distance best friends, you know the heartache. The distance, the time changes, the lost connections on FaceTime. I think having kids has made it even more difficult to not have those friends witness each and every moment of the boys lives but at the same time, it’s also made it all the more special when we get to have time together and I am so grateful for these friendships that withstand and grow stronger from the distance.

If you made it this far, I’ll leave you with the “Optimist Creed,” a favorite in which I recently rediscovered. And as always, if you made it this far, thank you for reading!

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The Optimist Creed
Promise Yourself:
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

I often forget that sadness can come on unexpectedly, even when everything in life is seemingly going well. No rhyme no reason, not a cloud in the sky, and yet. I’m being as gentle as I can be with myself but have truly been feeling like a torn piece of tissue paper left outside during a thunderstorm. And let me tell you, we been having some INTENSE summer thunderstorms. But alas.

At the core of it all, I am very tired. And have a household that just tested positive for strep throat, myself included. But I also recently came back to a corporate job that I feel I’ve outgrown, (or has it outgrown me…?) and the feeling of not knowing what to do next has left me questioning a decision I feel like I’m not well rested enough to make.

Last night after accepting that Ollie was on track to successfully push his bedtime by two hours, (again) we sat on our stairs looking out the window and watched the lightening bugs in our backyard. We giggled, excitedly, pointing them out to each other and my fears of another sleepless night seemed to melt away.

And that is what it’s all about. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t trade in a full night sleep for just two seconds of those moments; nursing Louie back to sleep or gasping at the fire flies in our backyard with Ollie. Having said that, I’m still very focused on getting “unstuck” from this rut. So, I started putting a list together of what I’m focusing on to get myself out. Quick. I’m not there quite yet but all of these things are really helping me get through. So, if you find yourself in July doldrums for one reason or another, (or seemingly no reason at all), these are for you. Sending love and light to you from wherever you’re reading this from.

Schedule “worry time” into your day.
As in an allotted time for all of your worries and woes so that they don’t creep into every other aspect of your day. I believe I heard this on a Mel Robbin’s podcast but the concept is that every time you catch yourself worrying about something, to tell yourself that you’ll circle back to the thought during your scheduled time to do so. I recently started doing this and find that when the actual “worry time” in my day arises, the things I was once concerned about aren’t nearly as daunting as they initially were. It’s as if you’re able to see your anxious thoughts for what they actually are: anxious thoughts.

Stack your shelf.
I’m re-reading my favorite self help book, “The Courage to be Disliked” and find that by picking it up and reading a few pages at a time, I can quickly coach my brain back into recognizing negative behaviors and re-teach myself the lessons that bring me the most comfort during my lowest periods. I always make a habit out of placing as many Libby holds as allowed so that I have a book to read as soon as I finish one. I recently finished “You Deserve to Know” a suburbia thriller, that Nina Dobrev and Paul Mescal are making into a movie, (my Vampire Diaries heart swoons) and just started “The Shampoo Effect” which I’m loving already.

Go to the farmers market.
Get flowers and put them in every room possible around your home. SMELL the flower. Same goes for fresh fruit and produce. I find a direct correlation between home cooked, fresh meals and the state of my mental health. Also related to the farmers market, getting out of the house and, (this one feels too obvious) but Get. Your. Booty. Off. Instagram.

Get. Yourself. A. Hatch.
As mentioned, ad nauseam, sleep is at a premium over here. And given how I’ve been feeling in the mornings, I finally followed suit of the boys and the rest of the internet and got myself a hatch. And you should too. Falling asleep to the sound of rain and waking up to a sunrise sound bath? Ya. Absolutely I will. I usually have some pretty strange dreams when I’m overtired but yesterday morning after not getting much sleep woke up after dreaming about running through a raspberry field at sunrise.

Have something, or several something’s to look forward to.
My best friend is visiting from Oslo this week (!!!!!!), we are getting so very close to our Tuscany trip and we’re seeing Royel Otis on Tuesday. In moments of my doldrums, having special things to look forward to has really helped me get through. Even if it’s just a walk after dinner, ideally to get ice cream, (or a good bottle of wine and sandwich). Anything small you can look forward to in order to get yourself through the harder days.

If you made it this far, thank you for being here!!! It means the world. If you subscibe, thank you again!!! And if you don’t, try it out!

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We’re getting into a nice routine over here, despite a few weeks of Ollie waking up at 5 am and Louie still not taking a bottle, (meaning where I go, he goes) and what better way to celebrate that than to talk about recent highlights and lowlights. Without further ado!

Recent joys
As mentioned, we found a caterpillar living in our parsley, quickly referred to him as our pet and named him Flitwick. He was squishy and chubby and was only with us for a brief time before departing from our backyard to a much larger, (and I would imagine more fabulous) life. Me and Ollie spent minutes that felt like hours watching him munch on leaves, among other minutes that felt like hours as Ollie asked in a screaming tone that toddlers often do, if he could pet him. We joked that everyone had to be on their best behavior, because, but of course, we had a guest in our home.

Suffice to say, my mini herb garden is in full bloom and in return, I have realized several new things: 1) new friends come in all shapes and sizes, 2) slowing down takes on a beautiful new meaning when you watch a caterpillar eating a leaf with your toddler and 3) you can turn a small basil plant into a plethora of basil for all of your summer toasts and dishes by simply pruning properly, (among a good amount of water, sunshine and singing-to).

Recent lulls
As I have been very open about on here, my transition back to corporate America hasn’t been easy. I thoroughly enjoyed my maternity leave and coming back to a 9-5 that I don’t feel aligned with whatsoever, (apologies for my dreadful therapy speak) has been a little exhausting.

I posted a note a couple weeks ago that seemed to resonate with a few folks on here, so I’ll share again with a snippet of additional context! After finishing what felt like a 14 hour day, sitting in bed and kicking myself about crying in two meetings, (one with a person I manage and one with my manager) my husband shared the quote below with me, which quickly snapped me out of my funk. I have been going back to it often, usually after speaking in a meeting and having a deep fear that everyone has found out about me that I, in fact, have no idea what I’m talking about. This serves as a good reminder to move onward and upward, as we all should do after a bout of self doubt.

Things I’m consuming, (or are consuming me?)
I tore through a Marriage at Sea in a few days before realizing it’s BASED ON A TRUE STORY. It’s a memoir about a husband and wife who survived for 118 days in the middle of the ocean after their ship was capsized by a whale. Along with the rest of the world, I also finally started Famesick, Lena Dunham’s memoir. And my god, it fully lives up to the hype. “I don’t want to freak you out, but I think that I may be the voice of my generation... Or at least a voice... of a generation”. And so, a Girls rewatch was inspired.

And as for what I am physically consuming, tomato season means that Ina Garten’s Summer Pasta is on a weekly rotation around here. I would imagine that most of the Substack community is familiar with this truly perfect summer dish, but if not, it goes something like this: a handful of freshly chopped cherry tomatoes + garlic, which you let sit in a bowl, soaked with a good olive, chunky sea salt and covered in a plastic wrap for a few hours, (the longer the better). When that has marinated for long enough, top it off with al dente angel hair + pasta water, fresh basil and douuuuuse it with freshly grated parmesan cheese. Here is what it will look like, shining in all its glory.

Mom thing-a-ma-jigs
I said it once and I’ll say it again, but Louie is still not taking a bottle, and after a few weeks of stressing, I’ve finally decided to embrace it. This baby boy of mine will be 6 months in a few weeks, slowly starting to eat solids and after breastfeeding for a year with my first, I know how quickly this time goes. As my friends know, if you’d like to see me, Lou will be in tow! Or I’m happy to meet for dinner after he’s gone to bed, like I did last week at one of my favorite restaurants in Chicago, Obelix to celebrate a good friend’s birthday.

Closing remarks
On Saturday night after a busy day running around with the boys, me and Mike talked about our perfect day. A day we would want to live over and over again, had heaven opened its gates for us to give us anything we wanted. The words started coming out of my mouth before I had realized them: waking up to the sound of Ollie’s laughter from being chased around the first floor of our home; a stream of giggles from being tossed in the air like a hackey sack. Reaching the bottom of the stairs before receiving a running hug, Ollie wrapped around me like a koala bear saying “morning mama” as I ask him about his morning with dada, wanting to hear about each and every moment of the hour before. Hearing Louie slowly start to wake up and making a coffee before kissing his chubby cheeks and holding him closely to me to nurse. And so on it went.

My perfect day was a replica of the very normal, very routine Saturday we’d had, without even realizing it. Mike’s perfect day was similar, tantrums and dirty diapers included. We laughed, rehashing each and every minute detail of the 12 hours before, tears spilling onto my cheeks feeling equal parts grateful, sentimental and nostalgic.

Amid a scary new-ish transition back to work and what feels like a lot of uncertainty, I’m trying to keep this perspective in mind. That regardless of the number of meetings I cry in and times I feel as though I no longer belong in a space I once did, the reality of my mornings and evenings (and right now being at home, a lot of time in between with Lou) makes all of the scary loud noise fade away.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for being here! It means the world. The subject of this article’s reference comes from my tee shirt below. A cutie custom tee made by a gf of mine for all of her friends at her bachelorette party last summer. To no one’s surprise, mine was “little miss farmer’s market.” Hope you have a wonderful rest of your week, and a plethora of basil, wherever you’re reading this from!

Before diving in, I just want to say thank you for being here!!! I opened up my notes app to jot a few thoughts down while feeding Louie and received a notification that I’d hit 100 Substack subscribers (!!!!!!). This feels particularly special after recently going back to my 9-5; a daunting/confusing/emotional transitional phase for me, personally. I feel so connected to this inspiring community and am very grateful to be a part of it. Ok, now let’s get to it.

On my card
My favorite purchase of May included a very sweet basket from Folk in Andersonville and I have been whimsically using it as a purse, breaking it in before my first neighborhood farmers market of the season this weekend. I rounded up a few similar baskets as I am now in full belief that whether you live in the city center or out in the country, the basket is the vibe for this summer. And the easiest way to romanticize your chores.

I’ve been trying to practice a semblance of self constraint and was eyeing this reformation pajama set for a few months before finally pulling the trigger. I already wore the top this weekend and have a feeling it will be making a regular rotation in my summer wardrobe. My farmers market uniform is as follows:

On the docket
We’re going to Tuscany in September and the trip is consuming 78% of my thoughts right now. I visited Florence for a brief stint during my semester abroad, (which feels like, and was about a hundred years ago) but my whole family is packing up, (the boys included) to spend 10 days in the picturesque rolling hills, drinking Lambrusco, eating pasta and probably not sleeping a wink. And I truly could not be more excited. So far we have booked our stays: 5 nights in Chianti and 5 nights in Volterra. Coming up on two years ago now, me and Mike traveled with Ollie to Europe with stops on Paris, Provence, London, and Dromoland Ireland for a friend’s wedding. We managed to do the trip with two carryons, a backpack, a purse and a diaper bag. And even though we’re now traveling with one additional child in tow, are fully planning once again on not checking any luggage. Needless to say, I’m already planning my outfits and trying to work through the justification to my husband as to why I need my own carryon and he needs to share his with our two boys. Send prayers!

On my mind
May was a transformative month, going back to work from maternity leave. I was approved to work remotely for the next five months but tried going into the office for the first time and quickly had to pivot back home as Louie would not take a bottle. It was a pretty emotional day for me all around. Guilt about leaving Lou, guilt and anxiety about not being in the office for longer and for spending the next few months working remotely. I’m trying to be easy on myself as I know that I’m fortunate to have been given the opportunity to be remote with my baby but that’s easier said than felt. I’ve been texting with my girlfriend who works at Burberry in London, (yes, she’s the most fabulous person I know) about her transition back after a 12-month mat leave and can’t help but feel so jaded by my short stint with Louie in comparison. C’est la vie!!

In my cart
I just snagged the roll foster jeans from Courtney Grow’s collab with ref and am so exciiiiiiitteeeed to channel her magnetic, cool mom aura. Is there anyone cooler on the internet? Not a chance. I also have been eyeing this doen sun dress for a couple weeks now but can’t seem to justify the price tag given the number of similar dresses I own so am sharing here in hopes that someone will talk me out of buying it (please I beg).

On my speakers
In true me fashion, I finished my spring playlist at the start of summer. Heavily influenced by Harry Styles, a late watch of Love Story and excitement around O Rod’s new album. Enjoy!

Over the past 14 weeks, I’ve delivered Louie into the world and have become a mother all over again, now to two boys who have captured my heart. Amidst it all, I’ve also had more time for me. Time to create a substack and grow this little community, (hello to the 94 of you that are here - thank you, it means the world). Time to slow down, to learn how and why I should never rush in my home. I’ve had time to experiment with countless mini muffin recipes for my son Ollie in hopes it might bring a smile to his face when he gets home from preschool. Time to cook and clean and CREATE and read and stick to a new, (and might I add fantastic) self-care routine. I’ve had time to breastfeed my baby as he falls asleep on me; sweet moments turning into days with no agenda except to be his. To be me without the pressures of constantly being online and the politics that come with working in management at a tech company.

The truth is this: I don’t think I’m cut out for corporate America. I am soft and squishy where I should be hard and sharp. Gentle where I should be firm. On the other side of that truth, I also genuinely and truly love the team of people that I work with. Several of them have become such a big part of my life over the past few years and the thought that I’ve barely spoken with them over the last 14 weeks makes me feel as though I’m living a double life; a severed life of sorts, where in there, I’m a manager, and out here, a mom.

And then, just like that on Friday, poof. Gone are the slow mornings of feeding and tummy time before a bath with Louie. Just the two of us, in our own world of pure love. Who will I be on Friday when responding to slacks and emails, answering “how are you’s” when I am so different from the person I was before I had Lou? We’ll have a nanny; a nanny who I am sure I will come to love and appreciate. And I’ll try to work remotely as much as I can so that I can continue to breastfeed. But the next “new normal” I face is daunting and already oh so tiresome. I fear I’ll grow resentful of the person that gets to spend their full day watching my son. Helping him flourish and grow and reach all of his milestones. I fear I’ll continue to ask myself and to wonder, why not me?

I’m not someone that thrives in negotiations or presentations. I thrive compiling a menu, putting a flower arrangement together and learning the best way to plant and harvest herbs. Most of all, I thrive being a mom. Will I be able to step back into a world of Google Docs, spreadsheets and client calls? It all feels very unlikely. How do women do it? Everyday, we accomplish the unthinkable. The impossible. And it’s not like being a manager makes me any less of a mom. But that’s easier to say than to truly believe. And while I do believe it to be true, sometimes I wonder if my 9-5 makes me less…me.

I struggled when going back to work after having Ollie. Most days I cried and most days I didn’t think I would be able to get through. I harbored resentment towards the company I worked for; how could 14 weeks ever be enough time? Towards the country I lived in; how can other countries do this so differently than we do it here, and why is it the norm to just “bounce back” after your world, mind and body have been flipped on its head? And toward our then nanny; how is it possible that someone gets to spend their entire day with the person who has my entire heart?

But I also got through it. Despite several rounds of scary interviews, including one of which a woman told me she needed to “break the bond” between me and my then three month old; despite a nanny we hired who fell asleep on the couch with Ollie (twice) on her first day and despite postpartum blues and what (felt like crippling) anxiety. I’m hopeful that the lead up will be a scarier than the actual reality of being back at work. Like diving into cold water. But I just don’t know. I have no idea.

Until then, I’ll soak up this time with my baby boy. Who has healed me from my broken heart after miscarriage and who loves me for exactly who I am. I’ll be soft with myself and move slowly through this next transition.

Growing up and before my parents divorce, Mother’s Day was always a little confusing for me. As a family, we would usually “surprise” my mom with breakfast in bed before going on a long walk and stealing bunches of lilacs, my mom’s favorite flowers, from a park nearby our home. Sneaking scissors into our light jackets and hiding the bundles while giggling as we sprinted back to the car. It was a family tradition that we continued to honor even after my parents separated. But what also stuck with me was my mom’s tears every year on Mother’s Day, struggling that she wasn’t able to share the day’s celebrations and her two girls with her own mother who’d passed away from breast cancer just one month before my older sister was born. I’d always known how tragic my grandmother’s departure was but it wasn’t until I became a mom that I was able to fully appreciate my own mother’s heartbreak

After having Ollie, and maybe even before, during my pregnancy, I got into a routine of calling my mom several times a day; asking her questions, telling her what flowers were in bloom in our neighborhood and really just pressing dial to hear her voice. So many times she has gotten me through my anxiety, confusion and fears of motherhood and I oftentimes find myself wishing that she’d had the same as she entered the world of parenthood.

Now, two and a half years into being a mom, I’m starting to understand the highs and lows that this day represents. My first Mother’s Day after having Ollie was bliss. We packed up sandwiches, a crisp bottle of white wine and had a picnic in the park. I remember thinking it was my favorite day in the world at the time; I remember tearing up and giving kisses to Mike, Ollie and our dog Bo thinking about what a special day it was.

Just one year after that perfect moment in time on Mother’s Day last year, I laid in bed grieving my miscarriage that I had experienced two months prior, and the negative pregnancy tests that were counterintuitive to the nausea I was feeling. I laid in bed that day, feeling thankful for my healthy son while I grieved the pregnancy we had lost, wishing and wondering about when we would be able to get pregnant again.

This year, I’ll celebrate my first Mother’s Day as a mom of two. I look back at last year wanting to hold myself and offer my broken heart with the reassurance that I am in fact pregnant with a perfect, happy beautiful baby boy named Louie who will heal me in more ways than I ever could have imagined. That he will smile between sneezes and laugh nearly every time he is sung to. This year on Mother’s Day I will hold my boys so tight and feel so thankful that I get to be theirs. But I’ll also hold a place in my heart for all of the mothers out there who are struggling in their journey for one reason or another. I’ll be thinking of them, wishing I could hold them and offer the same reassurance I wish could have been given to me last year, and to my mom during all of the years she has missed her mom so much.

This year, I will be wishing a happy Mother’s Day to those who are trying. To those testing their ovulation, going through IUI or IVF. To those experiencing the disappointment of a negative pregnancy test. To those with and without children; to those who have experienced loss or losses. To the pregnant women and the women experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety and hormone fluctuations. To those who are unsure if motherhood is for them and to those who had to step into a role as a mother early on due to an absent mother or a mother who fell short. To those who call their mothers twice a day and to those who have lost their mothers. To those breastfeeding, trying to breastfeed and to those who were not able to. To those on maternity leave and those who regretfully went back to work after having a baby, (myself in a week’s time included). To the mothers of babies and grown children. Today is for you.

Happy Mother’s Day to those in which the day is their favorite of the year. And those who are lonely or alone today. Be kind to yourself. Mother’s Day comes in many sizes, shapes and forms. One year can be bliss, the next followed by heartache. Happy Mother’s Day to you. Get off Instagram. Go outside and smell the spring blooms.

April is/was my last full month of leave before going back in May and I’ve been at such a loss trying to wrap my head around how everyday, women push through and go back to their jobs after their entire universe has changed and been flipped on its head. I’m grateful to have 16 weeks and know that it’s so much better than the average 10 weeks in the US, (I also recognize that so many women have much less) but also don’t think it’s nearly enough time when our full recovery, both mental and physical can and often does take so much longer. Not to mention the tiny humans that have stolen our hearts that still need to be cared for around the clock. It’s a subject I could go on and on about so, I digress. But because my mind is very much scattered and extremely unorganized, I figured I would put that scramble to paper à la April brain dump.

What I read:
My April reads reeeeaaaally had me hooked: Imperfect Women, Theo of Golden and Heart the Lover. Imperfect Women was a suspenseful page turner and quick read that I wanted to get through before watching on AppleTV. The book I can recommend, especially if you enjoy thrillers, but sadly cannot say the same for the show, (which is how I usually feel about adaptations more often than not sooooo c’est la vie). Theo of Golden was so sweet and pulled on my heart strings. It’s a story of an older man who moves to a small town and sets out to make lasting connections with the inhabitants who live there. But the real star of the show this month was Heart the Lover. Oh. My. Goodness. I cannot remember the last book I loved as much as this one. It was so beautiful and I thought about it constantly for days after finishing. It’s such a fast read, I wish it was twice (or thrice !!) its size. If you’re in a reading rut, any of these will get you right out of it. But please please please do yourself a favor and read Heart the Lover. And let me know your thoughts because I am still dying to talk about it with anyone who will listen.

What I did:
For the most part, I walked and read and cooked and baked - THE most incredible blueberry muffins that I cannot recommend enough. Recipe here. I got into a really good rhythm with Louie and his sleep improved significantly, giving us 7-8 hr stretches overnight, which has been transformative. My husband, Mike left for two separate work trips and I had solo parenting time with the boys, which at 2 yrs and 3 months is no small feat. A few girlfriends came over one of the nights on his first trip, one of them bringing me wine and flowers and allowing me to have time with Ollie before bed time. God bless. Not living closer to my mom and sister who are in Minnesota has been a struggle since moving to Chicago and especially since having the boys, but we have such a wonderful community of friends here that quickly jump at the ask to help out and I could not be more grateful. We took the boys to a local plant nursery on two separate occasions and started filling all of our planters with spring flowers and herbs. Lastly, I got a GREAT facial called the diamond glow at spaderma and highly recommend. Not only did I leave glowing with glazed skin but my lips looked so plump after. I think I’ll do this again if I have a big event because it really did something for me.

What’s ahead:
We started interviewing Nannie’s for Louie for when I go back to work in May, (ugh). Not to sound like a broken record here, but I can’t bring myself to believe that I won’t be spending all of my time with him in the coming weeks. The thought of returning to corporate America is weighing heavy on my heart. I struggled when I went back after having Ollie and while this time around feels more manageable, it’s a daunting transition that leaves me with a pit in my stomach nonetheless. We had a trial day with a potential nanny, who has over 25 years of experience - and she did a wonderful job in our home. But the issue is that she’s not me. I’m trying to give myself grace and be as patient as I can be during this transition. If I go back and I’m not happy, I’ll leave. But that’s also easier said than done. Life changes so quickly as a parent and I wish I could bottle this time up and live in these moments forever.

Other unrelated April sweets:
-Louie started to coo and to laugh, doubling the size of my heart
-On two separate occasions, Ollie looked at me and said “beautiful mommy,” seemingly during the moments that I was feeling low and in need of a full mommy makeover, (more on that here)
-I spent 2.5 hours at the vet because Bo has been having stomach issues and came home to a flower delivery from my husband. He is a man written by a woman
-The lilacs in my neighborhood started to bloom. The magnolias and crab trees blooms came and went, and we took advantage with long walks, soaking in their sweet scents
-I made my favorite pesto I’ve ever made. The trick is fresh basil, toasted pine nuts, roasted garlic and chopping the ingredients lightly to ensure a good texture
-Ollie said “careful mommy” and “careful daddy” to me and my husband when we were climbing on a jungle gym at the park

That’s all she wrote! For now. If you made it this far, thank you for sticking around. It means more than you know! Wishing everyone a May that’s filled with sunshine, flowers and blueberry muffins.

I found myself on a call yesterday with my dermatologist asking them about safe anti-aging while breastfeeding. Toward the end of the call, I finally admitted the root of my issue: I’ve been spending way too much time online, mesmerized by the facelifts of women not too much older than myself and simultaneously spending far too much time looking at my face in the mirror. Critiquing my smile lines, my pores and each centimeter of my face that could be lifted or tweaked to become a hotter, younger looking version of the face looking back at me.

The truth is, I’ve come to love myself over the years. I’m 34 years old and haven’t yet ventured into the world of Botox or injectables (apart from masseter Botox for bruxism I’ve been treated with twice over the past five years). I love my lips and the brown streak in my right eye; how I love and feel deeply and the kind of daughter and sister and friend and wife and mother I am. I’ve even come to accept the dark circles I’ve had from a young age (tyvm genetics), my softer appearance that held and delivered my two healthy babies and yes, even my smile lines. But why am I so hard and unkind to myself, feeling some kind of pressure that I’ve created by comparing myself to people that I don’t know?

I think this topic is very layered and very relevant to women of all ages…and especially women looking at screens. I see the beauty of Bella Hadid, Hailey Bieber, Emma Stone, Anne Hathaway, Kendall Jenner, the Kardashians as a whole, and the list goes on and on and on. I watch videos on how to snatch and sculpt and appear 10 years younger and follow women whose careers revolve on their beauty and youth. And in doing so am so hard on myself for not looking like them, and for looking like me. I also don’t necessarily think that the feelings in which I’m having could be solved or cured by an injectable and often wonder if I started, would I be able to stop. New flaws would come to light; new injectables and procedures and tools and “solutions”.

I’ve been in so many conversations with women over the years in which we pick apart ourselves and share our biggest insecurities, and without fail upon having these conversations start pointing out things on one another that we admire and that we’d kill for to have for ourselves. And it’s just that, that to me is the entire point. We’re all uniquely beautiful. We all have wrinkles and lines and hairs and features that make us, us.

The journey in which I’m on is one of radical self acceptance. It’s also one in owning my decisions, right now part of that being having a face that moves freely and is able to express emotions, and therefore having the lines and wrinkles that come with doing so. This isn’t a groundbreaking revelation and I often wonder if every woman in the world, (the Kardashians included) have these thoughts about themselves. I spend so much time thinking of what could be improved that I fail to recognize the features in which my mom or baby boys love and find beautiful. The imperfect features that make me, me.

At some point in the shower this morning I thought of a children’s book I loved growing up, “I Like Me” by Nancy Carlson. The story is one of a pink and round pig who loves herself wholly and completely that I immediately googled and ordered on a used book site. We all are the only versions of ourselves that we’ll ever get to be and I refuse to spend the rest of my existence in anything but amazement for all of my working cells and imperfections that allow me to live this beautiful life. I can walk and dance and sing and laugh and kiss and hold my precious babies. And that’s what my life is about. The rest is just noise. And hogwash. Period.

When I found out I was pregnant and due in January, I was initially a little nervous about the amount of time I’d be spending inside during my leave, often without the option of getting outside for more than a 10 minute walk. My first born son was born in November of 2022 and the combination of my (pretty intense) recovery and the lack of sunlight was a lethal combination that left me feeling drained and devoid of any color, both physically and mentally. But to my own surprise, I’ve really loved my postpartum journey this time around (mostly) spent inside my home, thanks to a few changes and routines that I’ve implemented.

For obvious reasons (breastfeeding and taking care of a newborn baby) I don’t have complete autonomy over my day, but the below are currently bringing me a whole lot of joy in between my main focus of mom-ing and what better way to attempt to spread that joy than sharing with this community?! À la life hacks for you and yours for this often strange, in-between time of the year.

1. Always, (always ALWAYS) have a good book

This one is much, much easier said than done but an absolute must for a happy mind at home. My biggest recommendation in order to actually always have a book that you’re excited about reading is to stockpile your Libby holds. It’s so worth the time and effort to have your Libby shelf completely full so that you have options to read and another option to rely on if you start a book that you don’t end up loving. Recent reads I would recommendation include Strangers, Buckeye, You Are Here. **If you’re not familiar with Libby, it’s a free way to rent books onto your phone or kindle from the library. I have read twice or maybe thrice(?) the amount I would have normally read over the course of my life because of this app and have saved a ton of money in doing so. Also, if you’re not a kindle person, I get it and wasn’t initially either myself but it is such a game changer and I cannot recommend more if you’re trying to get into reading.

2. Candles, beautiful trinkets and (ideally) flowers

Being surrounded by beautiful things that you love inside your home is a pretty simple hack that can do wonders. I’m of the strong opinion that when you’re home you should feel special and like you’re being cared for. Little things like a yummy smelling candle, ceramic dishes to collect your keys and headphones, a luxurious hand cream and fresh flowers in your favorite vase on your entryway or dining table are all simple yet such important ways to make your home feel like your own and a space that you always want to be in.

3. No rushing in the home

I wrote a whole piece on this one so won’t bore you with the details but really think it’s been the biggest game changer for me this year. Turns out I was the one raising my cortisol levels by constantly rushing through everything and multi-tasking with a hundred and two mental tabs open simultaneously. It seems so simple but allowing myself to do one thing at a time; playing with my toddler and JUST playing with him instead of checking my phone or having the need to clean his trail of goldfish and stickers in real time has been an incredible shift for me. It costs you nothing and gives you everything.

4. Windows: open, music: on

Need I say more? An instant, efficient and sure way to boost your mood. Every time we’ve been getting a warm(ish) day, which surprisingly has been fairly often given that we live in the Midwest, I open up all the windows to let fresh air in. Lately I’ve been listening non-stop to KATTDO, but some Tame Impala? Mac Miller? Whatever floats your boat and turn the volume up. Moving my body, even if it’s just as I tidy the first floor or bring things to and from upstairs is so much better with an accompanying soundtrack. I don’t mean to age myself on here, but it truly does give you that “main character” energy. Which if you aren’t harnessing in your own home, than when can you?

5. Scrubbing my brain

I LOVE this concept and often practice this when I’m laying in bed and feeling overstimulated from the day. It’s the perfect way to declutter my mind and settle my thoughts before falling asleep. Something about it gives me so much peace and even helps before any kind of meditation or gratitude practice. Small but so powerful and something I’ve been loving lately.

6. Opening up/closing up shop on the first floor

This is an unoriginal concept that I stumbled upon on substack and immediately took to. I wish I remembered the creator I saw post about it - if I find them I’ll edit!! But I digress. If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant or retail, you’re familiar. Our home quickly oscillates between being tidy/guest-ready (aka before my toddler wakes up and after he goes to bed) and a tornado of stickers, crayons, books, tiny socks and stuffies. After he goes to school, I “open up shop” and do a tidy while I drinking my coffee and listening to music (of course). We do the same after he goes to bed and before we go upstairs of closing up shop: washing the dishes, putting the books and stickers away and everything we know he’ll take back out first thing when he wakes up. I guess this is something we’ve always done, (cleaning up before we go to bed) but I love the concept of getting everything ready for our future selves in the morning.

7. A new and improved shower routine

Before this year I washed my hair once, maybe twice per week. I usually waited until the last minute to jump in the shower, leaving myself little time for the before after and during. In January, I started washing my hair every other day, and in doing so, completely switched up my shower and self-care routine which I have come to love and which I cannot recommend more. Before my shower, I oil my hair (ideally leaving it in for 20 mins) and dry brush my body before hopping in. During the shower I play music and dance while washing my body and hair, (which is a self-care treatment in and of itself). After the shower I usually take 30-40 minutes to do all my skincare and sometimes my red-light mask, (which has been a game changer for my skin this year) and something about taking the time to pamper and care for my body has been a huge revelation for me.

Some of my favorite memories from childhood are climbing the maple tree in our front yard, playing night games, and sledding down (what felt like the STEEPEST) hill behind my elementary school just down the street from our house. I feel very fortunate to have grown up during a time in which cell phones, social media and tablets were not a part of everyday life and often wonder how different life will be for our two boys, growing up with the constant pressures of the gadgets that we have become so accustomed to. I can only hope to help create a childhood filled with fond memories of simple everyday wonders in hopes that they’ll find as much magic in the little things and moments; moments in which I find so much magic with them, simply by getting to be their mom.

On Sunday night during a thunderstorm while sitting in what we call our “rain room” my two-year-old son Ollie pulled the curtain aside after seeing a strike of lightning and, in awe, said “beautiful”. I know this seems like such a small, obvious statement but to me it is the purest and most essential way of living that I can only hope he continues to abide by.

If you were to ask me the most important thing that I want for my boys, it would be the ability to be present, to live in the moment and to find magic during the most mundane, in-between moments of life. I’ve started to think about how I can make my boy’s childhood magical, not in the big birthday celebrations or grand gestures you so often see on the internet, but in the day-to-day. My initial thoughts are as follows, but I am ALL ears. And still so very new to this. If you have any thoughts or had a tradition with your family growing up or one you have now with your own kids, I would love to hear!

Finding beauty in the journey
I imagine that a lot of time during the years ahead will be spent driving to and from. Driving to, preparing for and getting ready to go to whatever is scheduled on the calendar. I want to create memories for my boys in those moments, rather than focusing on what lies ahead by turning up the music, singing, dancing and embracing the in-between.

Creating traditions
With Ollie being two years and Louie two months, we don’t quite yet have family traditions. But I’m ready to start creating them, whether it be Friday movie nights, Sunday pancake breakfasts or camping out and sleeping under the Christmas tree together the day after Christmas. It’s such a gift that we as parents get to re-discover life through our kids eyes and grow up alongside them and I am so excited to be able to create traditions that they can look back on and hopefully continue with their own families one day.

Instilling gratitude
Having gratitude for the snow, the way sand feels on your bare feet, the rain. Showing appreciation for life’s little joy’s; telling the moon she’s beautiful, thanking the rain for allowing us to slow down, and driving out to somewhere outside of the city to stargaze during warm summer nights.

Radical acceptance
This is something that I’m working on daily, but I would love for the boys to grow up with the ability to accept the world around them, difficult situations and themselves exactly as they are as opposed to what they think they should be.

It has been nothing short of magic getting to experience life through my boys eyes and I am so excited to be able to reciprocate the love and joy they give me throughout their childhood.

I’ve always seen myself as an efficient multitasker; emptying the dishwasher while simultaneously making a coffee and adding to my grocery list upon opening the fridge and realizing we’re running low on milk. My husband is not the same, to say the least. He often looks at me puzzled, wondering how and why the whirling dervish that I am is doing so many things at once. And while I’ve always appreciated how quickly and efficiently I can get multiple things done at the same time, I’m not sure how good it actually is for my mind or what purpose it’s serving me.

Like any new practice, I know that I won’t be able to implement this change over night, so I started to compile some thoughts around how I can begin to achieve the practice of no rushing in the home. Does anyone practice this at home? If so, please send any and all recommendations my way!!

Washing the dishes: In The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh, he says: “While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes.” To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I washed the dishes without my mind racing thinking about my next task and my growing mental to-do list. Yes I have things that need to get done, but isn’t it more important for me to do less while feeling good mentally doing so? I think we all collectively see washing the dishes as a chore, but maybe changing my perspective to dirty dishes as a meditation can help me create the time and space for my mind I am so desperately craving.

Dust if you must: I came across this quote below on Pinterest and am so in love with it. Do I need a clean space for my mental health? Yes…but maybe not at the expense of my mental health.

The 3-3-3 grounding technique: when my anxiety was at its worst a few years ago, a therapist I had recently started working with introduced me to the concept of 3-3-3, which is simply focusing on three things you can see, three things you can hear and three things you can touch. While the concept of not rushing in the home is lovely, I can’t imagine I’ll be able to shift my behavior immediately and when I find myself rushing, hopefully this is something I can lean in to. This is also a practice I can do aloud with my two year old son Ollie as a way to help him slow down as well, god willing.

Losing my phone: I often misplace and temporarily lose my phone only asking my husband to call it or use find my iPhone to get it back. But last night when I inevitably misplaced it, I allowed myself to let it be lost for a few hours. I had everything I needed right in front of me and knew my phone would have led to unnecessary checking and scrolling.

After my miscarriage in February of last year, those first warm days we could spend on our patio, enjoying the sunshine and pink peonies while opening up a crisp bottle of wine were so very healing. I felt as though I was recovering from a dark and cold winter alongside Mother Nature; the flowers opening up a bit more every day and the sun setting a bit later every evening. It was also in late spring last year I found out I was pregnant with Lou, a time of renewed hope for what we had once lost.

This year, I feel similarly that my body will move with the seasons from the cold of winter to the light and warmth of spring as I heal in my postpartum journey. To honor spring in the way it should be this year, here are the things I’m doing, in an attempt to slow down my mind and slow down time during this season of life.

-Appreciating every bloom: the past two years, I was lucky enough to live near an overgrown array of lilac bushes. Every evening before sunset, I would make an effort to take my dog Bo on a walk and admire the blooming lilacs during each phase of spring, from pre to post bloom. Every evening on my walk, me and Bo would stop to admire the blossoming flowers, smell the delicate scent and close my eyes to appreciate the warming temperature before the sunset. We moved to a new neighborhood in November and this spring I’m setting the same intention to slow down and appreciate the blooming flowers (hopefully lilacs) that surround me.

-Never missing a farmers market: unless I am traveling, I rarely miss a farmers market so this one is pretty easy to add to the list. There is something so special about picking up fresh flowers, bread and produce for the week while catching up with our go-to vendors. I love the feeling of coming home and laying everything out, and planning for the next few meals while enjoying a baked treat, (usually an almond croissant) and a coffee while washing all of the fruits and veggies.

-Watching every sunset, (hopefully) with Ollie, Mike and Lou: this one doesn’t take much explaining but what better way to wind down from the day than watching the sunset, practicing gratitude and thinking back on the day and what’s in store for tomorrow? This stage of life with Ollie being 2 and Lou being a newborn is so special and goes by so quickly. I’m hyper focused on doing anything and everything I can to slow down and soak in these sweet moments with them and watching the sunset together feels like a no brainer.

-Gardening: this is the first year in my adult life that I’ve lived with a big enough outdoor space for gardening, and I am so excited to take advantage of it. I always would do as much as I could at my last place outside (basil, mint, tomatoes, etc) but this year I’m so excited to take the time to plant, grow and harvest my own herbs and vegetables in the comfort of my backyard space. If anyone has any pointers for me getting started, I am all ears!

-Hosting: this one goes hand and hand with Saturday farmers market visits, but I am so looking forward to hosting friends on our backyard patio. I’m already thinking of the first dinner party I can throw; what I’ll make, what kind of flowers I’ll get and whether or not we’ll make printed menus for it (all signs are pointing to yes). Cooking and hosting is such a big love language of mine, for how I show love and what better way to transition from winter to summer than with a spring brunch, lunch or dinner party?!

Each week’s issue brings me so much joy, and it’s a much more digestible way to consume current events that doesn’t seem to rot my brain in the same way that reading news on my phone and headlines on social media does. Last year I hit a bit of a rough patch in terms of consuming news and this provides me with access to what’s happening in the world while also creating a healthy boundary for the overwhelming and constant news cycle.

After making the subscription swap and realizing its value, I started to think about what else I’m subscribed to and spending my money or energy on, and what healthy alternatives could act as replacements.

While I’ll continue to find HBO as somewhat of a necessity for me this year, especially during long nights with a newborn and during maternity leave, I’m committed to compiling a list of not only the services I’m paying for, but the components in my life I am spending energy on and seek healthier alternatives as I continue to focus on my intentions for the year, (e.g. swapping > 30 mins of social media per day for substack-ing.

Has anyone else done this kind of exercise? If anyone has any suggestions for what to add into my life while I sort out what to remove, I’m all ears :)

1. Rules of Civility, Amor Towles. My dad recommended this book and it was the perfect January read. It’s about a woman living in New York City in the late 30’s and the friendships she makes, growing up and growing into herself amid the high society of NYC. I felt transported into this book and didn’t want it to ever end.

2. The Art Thief, Michael Finkel. This is a true story about Stéphane Breitwieser, a man that stole and accumulated an estimated 2 billion dollars worth of art in broad daylight throughout Europe over the course of 6 years alongside his girlfriend and partner. All while living under his mother’s roof. I still cannot believe this story is real and couldn’t put this one down.

3. You Are Here, David Nicholls. Brought together by a mutual friend, a group of adults venture on a hike in the English highlands. Two of those venturers, Marnie and Michael, meet and discover they’re more alike than not. The two are both somewhat loners, recently divorced and begin to find love in one another after their own heartbreak.

I don’t often rate books because I have a difficult time with the 5 star scale, but these three were solid 4 star reads ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

• mom of a sweet doggo, a two yr old and a four day old

• born in california, raised in minnesota, living in chicago

• currently reading “you are here” and recently finished and would recommend “the art thief”

• avid green city farmers market fan girl and attendee