You all know Milo Yiannopoulos: far-right provocateur, professional edgelord, MAGA cheerleader, human comment section, and longtime fan of other people getting crushed by the boot of the state.

And, as you’ve probably heard, this week Milo finally discovered what every student of authoritarianism eventually learns:

The boot doesn’t care who cheered when it was kicking somebody else.

The machinery might terrorize and abuse entire groups of people the authoritarian fanboys despise, but that doesn’t mean the machine loves its cheering fanboys.

It just hasn’t gotten around to them yet.

Here’s one of Milo’s greatest hits:

Oh dear.

He built his career around malice and provocation, attacking feminists, trans people, Muslims, folks who believe that Black lives matter, and even Leslie Jones.

Yes, really. The Anti-Defamation League cited Yiannopoulos as the instigator of the 2016 Ghostbusters harassment campaign, which included racist comparisons to apes, because of course it did. Twitter banned him in July 2016, and what kind of deranged racist would ever let him back?

And that was before he worked for Kanye West; along with other unpleasant matters we don’t need to mention here.

But in recent years, Milo had become rabidly enthusiastic about harsh immigration enforcement. Because like many, he’d been taught to resent the undocumented labor force that helps prop up this country’s economy.

Keep in mind, these bottom-of-the-societal-ladder “illegals” our MAGA friends have been groomed to hate are predominantly Christian; and exploited by white employers, who the MAGA folk haven’t been groomed to resent.

So Milo wanted ICE checkpoints at gas stations, grocery stores, strip malls, government buildings and random street corners. He wanted to see people who couldn’t prove their status on the spot deported, with no due process, on the spot.

But then, in a plot twist no one could have foreseen - except anyone with a vague understanding of how these movements work - Milo discovered the exciting interactive feature all strongman regimes eventually roll out:

“Hey, now try it on yourself!”

And so, verily, the guy who wanted immediate deportation for anyone in the country illegally, was himself found to be in the country illegally.

Apparently Milo had overstayed his visa, missed an immigration hearing, and earned the enmity of Close Presidential Advisor and Capering Racist Loon Laura Loomer; who outed the influencer to ICE. Or so we’ve heard.

Milo was briefly detained, and immediately deported back to the UK.

This is what modern political scientists call “The Finding Out Part.”

Which Brings Us To The Point.

Milo, like so many before, seems to have believed that old authoritarian bargain: “Just aim the jackboot at someone else, and then the jackboot will always remember that you’re one of the loyal ones.”

But that’s not how it ever really works, is it? You can be the loudest braying, frothing cheerleader for the machinery; you can demand that it humiliate migrants, terrorize communities, tear families apart and make an example of the bad people.

Until the day comes when somebody else decides that the example should be you.

This is the part we miss when folks talk about fascism as though it just means “really mean government.” Fascism isn’t merely a government being cruel to people. It’s a system that requires an ever-expanding list of people who can be deemed expendable, scapegoat-able, and disposable.

I mean, we know the pattern.

First it’s the obvious types, those they can easily smear as “outsiders:” immigrants, refugees, religious minorities, nonwhite people, queer people, political dissidents.

Then it’s the journalists, then the academics; and then the activists.

And then it tends to be the insufficiently enthusiastic members of your own movement.

Then it’s usually the educated members of your own movement who like to bring up history, science or objective morality.

And then it’s the people on your own side who maybe didn’t clap loudly enough.

And eventually, if you’ve really worked to build another shitty system based on loyalty, finger-pointing and collective punishment, somebody you offended off along the way may decide that you’re no longer sufficiently useful.

Congratulations. You’re the “other” now.

And the worst part is, when they do come for you, the only people who’ll be standing up for your human dignity and due process rights are those filthy woke liberals.

You don’t make authoritarianism safe by making yourself useful to it.

It’s yet another wake up call that MAGA guys will sleep through, but it’s still true: You don’t get a lifetime exemption because you were an early-bird fan of persecution. There is no Frequent-Fascist Card that’ll save you.

If your whole movement is built around defining who counts as “one of us,” don’t be surprised to one day find yourself crying out “But I’m one of you!”

That category can change overnight. Today you’re the useful propagandist, laughing as they drag brown people from their cars. And tomorrow, somebody’s reading your name off a list.

The boot doesn’t care how good you used to lick it.

_____

That’s the great scam of authoritarian politics; and you can see it on FOX News almost every night: it convinces ordinary people that cruelty is power - and also acceptable - because, for the moment, someone else is getting hurt.

You can watch the raid, see the arrest, laugh at the weeping families at the deportation, and tell yourself “Good. That’s them. The bad ones who deserve it.”

And then - well, nothing actually gets better, does it?

Your pay doesn’t go up; your rent doesn’t go down. Your healthcare is still crap, the town hasn’t become magically more prosperous, and none of this feels like dignity.

But hey - somebody you were told to hate is suffering; and corrosive smirking Cro-Magnon oafs like Jesse Watters tell you to call that “progress.”

And then, when the regime still fails to deliver on all that paradise it promised, it soon needs another villain; and another, and another.

The World's Least Fun Civics Course

And not for nothing, but it’s also quite interesting that this caucasian deemed “an illegal” doesn’t get sent to an El Salvador gulag; or thrown into a camp for months; the very-white Milo was swiftly deported back to the UK.

That doesn’t mean the regime is being merciful; it just proves the machine operates differently depending on who’s caught in it.

Milo was deported back to the country he came from, not sent to a third-party nation. The system he championed has been demonstrably crueler to people with greater melanin.

But this doesn’t make Milo a hero; and the people operating the machine haven’t become ironically funny because they turned it at one of their own; even if it was some insufferable racist twink that you and I don’t like. There really are no good guys in this story.

But the answer isn’t to build a smarter jackboot that only crushes people you don’t like. The answer is to stop building and supporting jackboots.

Because once you’ve created and blessed a system that says “We can do this to them because they’re the wrong kind of people,” you have already created the system for someone else to decide you’re the wrong kind of people.

A Dying Superpower Discovers Cartography

So Trump looked at 57 % Canadian Lake Ontario and thought: “Hey, this sounds like another naming dispute I can lose in public.”

And so, with gas still above $4 a gallon, the fired host of NBC’s “Celebrity Apprentice” signed another pointless executive order renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America - ‘effective immediately’

You can really feel the machinations of power when the most consequential maneuver a president can manage is renaming a noun. And “effective immediately” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, for something that Canada’s not obliged to even notice.

And sure, it’s desperate and pathetic and easy to mock. If impotent symbolic gestures were economic growth, every American would be rich.

At this point, the presidency is basically an elderly patient with decades of untreated syphilis who’s been given a label maker.

But as common as this may seem, there’s something almost perfectly Trumpian about responding to another diplomatic loss by pretending “vocabulary” is “sovereignty.”

But most deeply stupid men always hurt and sabotage their own “allies” at all stages of their lives; and Trump looks at Canada like a wife that should’ve known better.

The Canadians have weaponized their most terrifying asset: polite indifference.

These tariffs were supposed to bring our Canada to its knees, Instead, Canada brought America to a sad, flaccid naming ceremony.

See, most of us know that Canadians are generally the nicest folks in the world. They’re the kinds of people who say “sorry” when you step on their foot.

They’ve got healthcare, natural resources, functioning institutions; and now, apparently, a lake with America’s name on it - but without America’s permission to use it.

And so Canada has responded to Trumpian aggression with the most devastating weapon available: not caring what deeply stupid Americans call its lake.

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney taunted Darth Jabba, without even saying his name:

“The name Lake Ontario comes from the Wendat word Ontari’io, which, appropriately, means ‘the lake is beautiful, the lake is big…The name is more than 400 years old, predating both the Confederation of Canada and the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America.”

Carney later said “Canadian women and men also know that things must be called by their name, and this lake is called Lake Ontario – today and forever.”

And today, millions of Canadians are LAUGHING across Lake Ontario, asking:
“You guys ok down there?”

Trump promised to make America feared; but he just made America the punchline at the Canadian border.

Trey Gowdy Is A Debit To His Race.

But never fear, former GOP Rep. Gowdy is on hand to make the rest of MAGA seem more cerebral.

You remember Trey Gowdy, right? Dismembered and dispatched by Hillary Clinton, he left Congress to exploit the murder of 4 Americans in Benghazi for crass political gain in the private sector.

Gowdy appeared on FOX News, desperate as always for a full-time gig, to says he didn’t care for Trump’s executive order renaming Lake Ontario to “Lake America.” Not because it’s petulant and embarrassing, mind you - but because now because the acronym for the Great Lakes goes from “HOMES” to “HAMES” and the change reminds him too much of “Hamas”

Yes. The man put on clothes, left the house, oozed into the FOX News studio to defend saying “HOMES,” like the saddest white divorced dad using 30 year old hip-hop lingo:

“That's what bothers me about changing the name from Ontario to America, is how close that acronym is to Hamas. It will confuse a lot of kids. That's why I haven't made up my mind on it yet.”

Folks, if your child thinks the Great Lakes, or the acronym “HAMES,” are related to Hamas, your child may have been raised, or educated by, or may in fact be, Trey Gowdy.

And look, I’m not a complete monster. I know it’s not easy being Trey Gowdy; he’s probably still hurt by Sean Penn winning an Oscar in “One Battle After Another” for ripping off his hairstyle.

But I’m happy to help out here, and I really can.

When I was growing up, we learned to memorize Lakes Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie and Ontario with the helpful pneumonic device “She Made Harry Eat Onions.”

And even with “Lake America,” it’s an easy adjustment from SMHEO to SMHEA.

So just change the words to “Sniveling Minion Has Employment Audition” and everyone will know what you’re talking about.

The Sharpie Doctrine.

The lake didn’t move; the tariffs didn’t work; Canada didn’t surrender and the economy didn’t improve. But somewhere in DC, a dying racist man-baby got excited again about his crayons.

So go ahead call it Lake America, MAGA friends. What a win for you and your families. Strut around a bit in public so we know this made you happy.

But Canadians and most Americans will still call it Lake Ontario, and the water will continue to not care.

Because America didn’t “win” the lake. America assumed the right to say a different word while standing on its own shore.

Canada walked away with its tariff money, its leverage, its lake, and more dignity that these Americans, groveling before their bloated, bloviating, babbling Berlusconi.

The US once put a man on the moon. In 2026, it put its own name on somebody else’s lake.

So, then. Lake America.

Do you still feel compelled to blindly defend this grotesque racist child, MAGA friends? Is Lake America what you were promised, over and over?

Did the tariffs work like he promised?
Did all the punching down on scapegoated trans kids make your life better in any way?

Are you weary of playing dumb, because you’ve stayed loyal to how his bullshit made you feel back in 2016?

Are you realizing yet that rightwing billionaire media needs you angry; but doesn’t actually care about you?

Do you get yet that certain billionaires and politicians need us to hate each other? Have you grapsed that there are algorithms designed to make Americans hate other Americans?

Are they still gaslighting you into not minding that he really did have cops beaten, for a lie, on the Capitol steps?

It’s not too late to admit you were conned and join the struggle against these corrupt incompetent fascist grifter clowns.

And if you still feel safer in the cult, and are still giving your obedience to liars; bc they hate the same ppl you’ve been groomed to hate?

Then thanks for the gas prices.

Oh, and that sloppy makeup job makes him look like a tragic old queen. Defend it.

Seven years after the American president’s child-sex-trafficking friend died in a Manhattan jail cell, the most remarkable thing about the Epstein scandal is not that so many people on the right and the left finally believe the same conspiracy theory.

No, the most remarkable thing is that that this White House still seems to believe the public will eventually just get bored. Apparently the strategy is: release the files, gradually, slowly enough, until everyone gets old.

The Republican Senate had quite a weekend. They confirmed Todd Blanche as attorney general at 4:30 in the morning, 50–49, which is apparently the ideal hour for Republicans to decide on the next pedophile protector to run the Justice Department.

Nothing says rule of law like, “Everybody up? Let’s do the Attorney General before sunrise, when Stephen Miller returns from feeding.”

Epstein Files Release Date: Sometime Between Now and the Heat Death of the Universe

Blanche is, of course, the historically unfit and compromised Trump henchman; now at the center of the administration’s systemic policy of breaking their own law to protect powerful men who rape children. Blanche is also the first private presidential criminal defense attorney to ever be named the same president’s Attorney General, because no previous president ever needed to do that.

At this point, they’re not even hiding the corruption; they’re just dimming the lights a little. 50 of 52 GOP senators present voted for Todd Blanche to help Donald Trump protect wealthy men who put their dicks inside children.

One such supplicant would be the craven husk that is Louisiana Sen. Bill Cassidy, the deciding vote in favor of Blanche. Cassidy has already suffered years of derision and scorn, but only because he’s a damned doctor who gave the pivotal HHS Secretary confirmation vote to measles enthusiast Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Cassidy only agreed to that vote because RFK had promised he wouldn’t be anti-vaccine once confirmed. And like, oh, I don’t know, a tragic woman who trusts RFK Jr, Cassidy believed him.

Kennedy broke the promise, Trump gutted Cassidy in his primary, the crushed quisling’s career cut off. And then - because, presumably, a job somewhere? - Cassidy, on his way out the door and owing them nothing, confirmed the most unfit AG in history.

In his floor speech, Cassidy announced that one of the big reasons to confirm Blanche was so the DOJ could move forward, and prosecute more human traffickers.

And Senator Cassidy, it will not surprise you, never found the time to meet with any Epstein survivors.

Transparency, pending.

So now, the man who visited convicted child rapist and sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell in her prison cell, before her subsequent transfer to a much nicer prison, is also the man who decides what the public is allowed to see, within those files, where his boss is mentioned, thousands of times.

That’s not a conflict of interest; that’s a violent attack on the concept of interest.

And of course, the files don't need protecting from the public. The public needs protecting from the people who think they own the files.

But now Judge Emmet Sullivan has ordered Blanche to produce a sample of the Epstein redactions and the evidence that justifies breaking Trump’s law to keep them hidden.

In other words: Show your work, Todd.

Nothing to See Here, Ignore the 5,000 Wire Transfers

Meanwhile, Senator Ron Wyden has released a deeply disturbing account of Epstein’s banking relationships, alleging that JPMorgan, Deutsche Bank and Bank of America moved or facilitated massive sums connected to Epstein while failing to report these suspicious transactions for nearly two decades, even they all knew he was a convicted sex trafficker and all.

*JPMorgan filed only seven Suspicious Activity Reports, totaling $4.3 million, between 2002 and 2016,

*Then, after Epstein’s 2019 arrest, they retroactively remembered to flag over 5,000 wire transfers worth $1.3 billion - six years after the bank had already terminated him as a client in 2013, over money laundering concerns.

*Deutsche Bank took over as Epstein’s primary bank from 2013 until his death; and would you believe it? They also waited until after his arrest to flag some $250 million in suspicious transfers, that hadn’t been a problem before.

*And Bank of America didn’t much scrutinize some $170 million in wire transfers from billionaire Leon Black to Epstein for supposed “tax advice.” They waved it all through. Nearly eight months after Epstein’s arrest they got around to flagging them as having “no apparent economic, business or lawful purpose”

The numbers are staggering. But the deliberate blind eye for a felon is worse. And the response from this government has been the PR equivalent of putting a blanket over a corpse and announcing that everything is fine.

Obviously these banks had a very sophisticated compliance system: let the convicted child sex trafficker do whatever he wants, until the FBI arrests him.

Since there’s nothing to hide, maybe stop hiding it

And, unlike Trump’s last functioning artery, this scandal is not going away.

This White House keeps giving the same message: trust us, nothing to see here, there is no story, please stop asking questions.

But people are asking anyway: Senators like Wyden, journalists who refuse to drop the story, the Epstein survivors who have spent years demanding accountability, and all those lawyers digging through all those records.

The brave people in this story are not the ones sitting on the files. The brave people are the majority who keep demanding to see them.

And if the government has nothing to hide, there is an astonishingly simple way to prove it: stop hiding the damn files.

And somewhere in Hell, Jeff Epstein laughs.

And then Roy Cohn smacks him, and tells him to get back to setting up the “Welcome Home” party.

Yes, that Jeanine Pirro, former FOX News Host & current US Attorney for the District of Columbia.

Apparently Judge Pirro, America’s most famous boxed wine enthusiast, has been demoted from loyal lieutenant to Deep State operative because she made the catastrophic mistake of “looking at the reflecting pool evidence and not putting innocent Americans in jail.”

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So Combover Caligula just delivered a hateful, mendacious and not-altogether-charismatic prime-time address about the desperate crisis of Election Integrity in America; but only when he’s in charge.

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Got that? Democracy only breaks when Trump’s holding the keys.

In the speech, he promised to expose foreign plots to sway recent elections, and all the Democrats and Media Companies who allow it to happen; as he, Trump, is a helpless and impotent thing.

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Gone With The Racists

Donald Trump has a new lie.

And folks, when I say “new lie,” I mean a lie so deranged it makes his Sharpie-enhanced hurricane maps look like peer-reviewed science.

In that recent 60 Minutes interview, Trump claimed that the 2017 Charlottesville “Unite the Right” rally; the one with torch-bearing white supremacist Trump supporters chanting “Jews will not replace us;” the Trump supporter who murdered unarmed nonviolent activist Heather Heyer…

…was “a total fake” funded by the Southern Poverty Law Center, to make him “look bad.”

And apparently the Ku Klux Klan, the neo-Nazis, and Richard Spencer were all just Antifa community theater.

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