Once in a while, if feelings get hurt (they still do occasionally), I find my mind kicking up a fuss. Or as I like to call it, having its own Adult Temper Tantrum (ATT for short). It then throws itself and my body into hellish experience.

In the last few years, I’ve learned that using thought to escape emotions and body sensations is one of the MAIN reasons we end up going “down the rabbit-hole” into obsessional thought-loops. We use thoughts to dissociate from things that the thoughts themselves have first labeled painful, uncomfortable or unacceptable. I’ve learned, too, that many people feel like all emotions are unacceptable to others, except for displays of happiness.

We’re taught to ‘smile and tap dance’ for the crowd, or our teachers, or particularly for our parents. (It generally starts at home!) Feeling sad, angry or anxious, never mind guilty or shameful, are suppressed and repressed in front of others and then eventually ignored by us. Thought is the great escape from having to feel, but eventually the feeling leaks out in distorted ways.

Unfortunately, another reason it doesn’t work to escape from feelings into thoughts, is because the obsessional thought-loops bring their own sense of intensifying anxiety. Only by identifying what we’re feeling and why, can we release our bodies into a less anxious state. This happened in my work with a client just yesterday; she felt (and physically exhibited) a felt sense of relief, once she understood what she was feeling and what caused the feeling.

Nowadays I find words often obscure Reality, so I’m not writing as much as I did. However, because there are new people who’ve joined the subscribers list, I wanted to reach out and say hello and offer these small observations. When you’ve gone into some thought-loop that feels self-perpetuating and endless, look at what feelings you’re trying to escape from. At the very least, you’ll reduce the endless thought-chatter that feels like it will make you crazy.

At best, you’ll be able to feel the emotion that you’re experiencing and then identify its cause. Is it based on a false assumption, and therefore you classify it as ‘unnecessary suffering’ and just let the energy of it dissipate? Or, is it based on actual experience, and you need to learn something and/or change something with this energy-in-motion or emotion?

Thoughts have great utility when used well. When used as an escape from feeling, they become a trap, and the major way we jump out of the safety of our present-moment experience of the real, and into the anxiety-producing unreality of the mind.

Wishing you a life full of the richness of all of your emotions.

All best wishes,

Jon Labman

You’ll find more about me and my work on my website simplyawake.com. There’s also a new book I’ve just published on Amazon, which may help you. You’ll find it under my last name or under The Missing Manual for Being Human and Getting Enlightened.

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Hello to the faithful readers (and new people I’ve met in the last year) who are getting this free Substack column. Because I’ve moved off of social media (except for cursory glances at LinkedIn), this is the only public announcement of this new book, which was published yesterday, Friday August 7th, 2026.

I was unhappy with the large format, many paintings and photos, and high cost of the last book I wrote. I’ve also come to some very different points of view since 2023. So I rewrote the last book, corrected the old misperceptions/misunderstandings, and have also revised the second half of the book which is a guide to spiritual awakening.

The new book is available on Amazon.com as a Kindle version for $5.99, or a standard format paperback book for $9.99. The paperback is now the standard 6”x9” size so it will be convenient to read. I know there’s a shortcut link, but don’t know how to create it. The long link for the book, which you can copy and paste is:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0HDF5X23W/ref=sr_1_1?crid=7VH0PS23JOLK&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.u3HfGyYA-PLca1StkbWwNDgLlDqCb3T-AwF1n7Vcsi7GjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.GfrqE8ZT0JjC4EvXmIWgtnEpCmenJFp_v-L9MKpXS1o&dib_tag=se&keywords=the+missing+manual+for+being+human+and+getting+enlightened&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1786201348&sprefix=%2Caps%2C119&sr=8-1

Because I no longer see Awareness/Consciousness/The Registrar (my new favorite term is the Registrar, as in that which registers all that arises in experience) as separate from what it is registering, I’ve had to find a new ground of stability. That ground of stability is the seamless experience of the present moment Reality, with no distinction between The Registrar and the objects or experiences that it registers (such as thoughts, emotions and physical sensations).

If you’ve read this column before, you’ll also have seen that the strange end of my spiritual enlightenment path is this: the ‘I’ is just a label, ‘God’ is another label, and ‘enlightenment’ is a third label. In the end, as my friend Emerson of EmersonNonDuality.com says, “all words are made up.” (Do watch some of his conversations on YouTube, they’re so clarifying.)

Finally there is no ‘I’ who becomes one with ‘God’ in a process called ‘enlightenment.’ There is just the total sensory experience of the present moment, unmediated by thoughts and the separations they always create. Anyone can drop into this ‘place’ (remember all words are pointers) by moving away from thought and into direct sensation, at any time. Living ‘there’ is just a matter of repetition of this seeming movement from the habitual laser-focused attention on thought (which is often a dissociation from Reality) to a wide-angled attention to sensation, until the latter becomes one’s way of living.

Stability, satisfaction, sobriety, peace, freedom, contentment and love all seem to arise when thoroughly immersed and disappearing into the experience of ‘here and now’ without language.

My new book reflects the shift in perspective, and I hope it is helpful to you. If any on this list are experiencing financial hardship and can’t afford the book, but would like a copy, please let me know. I can create a PDF of it and send it to you for free.

I continue to work as a Licensed Profession Counselor, working in three different roles: psychotherapist, mentor and life coach. My intention is to work far beyond my current 71 years of age, until the time when I no longer can. If I can assist you in your current growth process, feel free to contact me.

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