Learned helplessness is when the brain learns, from real, repeated experience, that trying hasn’t paid off. The brain is having a completely logical response to real evidence. I did get two stripes on my initial white belt in jiu jitsu. Then I broke my finger and never went back (because I forgot about it). I bought all kinds of fancy flash cards and even talked to someone at the school and yet acupuncture school never happened. I can’t tell you how many times I said I was going to eat healthy and workout only to graze and sit on the couch. I’m sure I don’t need to explain my failure at keeping my house clean and organized - ha! And guess what else? None of this is a character flaw.

Learned helplessness is very common in those who have lived with undiagnosed and/or untreated ADHD. When we think about most systems we try in order to be consistent, stay organized, etc., they are designed for neurotypical minds. The ones that won’t completely forget jiu jitsu exists because I haven’t been there or that make a regular cleaning and organizing schedule and stick to it. The brains that set a goal, take actionable steps to achieve said goal, achieve the goal and also feel a sense of accomplishment when they do. (If we accomplish a goal, we usually just feel relief that it’s over. 😂)

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I learned everything I could about ADHD. I read all the books. I listened to all the podcasts. Watched all the YouTube videos. Read everything I could find online. Watched countless TikToks and Instagram Reels. And yet, I still couldn’t make my life work.

I could explain executive dysfunction to a stranger at a party but I couldn’t explain why I forgot people existed. Or why I always seemed to be running behind. Or why so many of the ADHD “hacks”, etc. didn’t work for me.

Eventually I realized I needed to understand my own ADHD. ADHD is a spectrum. It’s different for everyone. I was taking all this generalized ADHD information and trying to apply it like it all fit my specific flavor of ADHD. Once I took the time to understand my brain, my ADHD, it became much easier to find ways to work with it.

I realized the reason I forget people exist is because I have terrible out-of-sight, out-of-mind. If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist… and that included people. I realized that I always felt behind because I tend to drastically underestimate how long things will take. When I tracked my time I was able to get even more specific - I underestimate most things by about 50%. If I don’t want to do the task, I overestimate by about 3 times and, as a result, procrastinate doing it.

Knowing the general facts about ADHD and understanding your unique ADHD brain are two very different things.

I still forget people exist and underestimate how long tasks will take but I have created systems that work for my brain so that I do those things less often. 😎

THE WEEK ON ADHD &…

Speaking of understanding your own ADHD brain, this week on the ADHD &…with Jorie Houlihan podcast I am talking about Self-Awareness and Learned Helplessness. When you live with undiagnosed ADHD for so long you start to give up on many areas of your life because you think you aren’t capable. However, often you are very capable, once you understand how your brain works. Be sure to check out this week’s episode!

🎧 Listen to the full episode HERE or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or 👀 watch on YouTube

What’s one ADHD fact you know cold but it still hasn’t changed anything for you? Hit reply or comment and let me know!

Stay curious my ADHD friends!

~ Jorie

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If you tried to do a post mortem on this you probably asked yourself one question - “Did I stick with it?” The answer to that is obviously, “No,” but that question doesn’t really give you good information to use in the future. It just tells you you failed…again.

Instead of asking the obvious, get curious. Try asking these questions instead - “It was working until what point?” “What got easier using this?” “When did it help?” “What changed?” “Where is the friction?” What did all this teach you?

All these questions can help you understand your patterns. “This worked for me, for this long, under these conditions, until this happened.” That’s not failure my ADHD friend. That is data! What’s great about this is you may realize that you don’t need to throw out the entire system. Maybe you need to simply adjust a cog in the system.

Keep what works, throw away what doesn’t. You get to decide what works for your ADHD brain and what doesn’t. And remember, if it doesn’t that doesn’t mean you have failed. It means it didn’t work for your brain and you will find something different that will.

THIS WEEK ON ADHD &… WITH JORIE HOULIHAN

This week I spoke with Carolyn Mallon, a psychiatric nurse practitioner, who got her own ADHD diagnosis at the age of 28, over a decade after dropping out of high school. We talk about the importance of understanding your brain and finding what works for your brain, not just what “should” work.

“I was so surprised to realize that I wasn’t broken.” That’s what Carolyn said after her diagnosis. I think many of us can relate.

You can 🎧 listen to the full episode HERE or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or 👀 watch it on YouTube.

Reply or let me know in the comments - have you ever thrown away a whole system, planner, etc when maybe it just needed a second look? Full transparency - I have done this more times than I can count. You aren’t alone!

Stay curious my friends!
~ Jorie

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It wasn’t about the blouses. By that point in the day I had already made hundreds, if not thousands of small decisions - what to eat, which email to answer first, what to say yes to, what to say no to, what to let go of. My brain had run out of room to hold one more choice, even this small one.

I used to call that moment a failure. It was more proof that I could not make up my mind about anything, including something as small as a blouse. Now I recognize it for what it was - a signal. My decision-making capacity was gone for the day and no amount of pushing through was going to bring it back to life.

Now that I can recognize that pattern in myself, instead of forcing myself to make a choice, I now reach for what I think of as my recovery kit. I will grab the blouse closest to the door, make the same dish I always make when I don’t feel like cooking (caprese salad, for what it’s worth 😂) and cancel get togethers I would normally force myself to push through. No more decisions for that day unless something was on fire, literally or otherwise.

That’s not giving up. It’s what recovery looks like when you’re the one living it, not reading about it in a listicle. (Although I do love a good listicle - ha!)

I am still learning to catch the early signs before I end up frozen in front of a closet. Lately it looks like taking way too long to answer a simple text or standing at a menu re-reading the same three items without absorbing a word of them. Sometimes I just start doom scrolling and decide on anything at all. When I catch it, the move is to simplify. Not to push harder.

If you’ve ever landed in your own version of the closet moment, that’s not a discipline problem. Your brain hit its ceiling for the day, same as phone at one percent, except nobody warns you with a little red battery icon before it happens. The work isn’t muscling through it. It’s catching it early enough that you get to choose the recovery kit instead of the closet floor.

ON THIS WEEK’S PODCAST

This week on ADHD &… with Jorie Houlihan, I get into decision fatigue and why it hits ADHD brains sooner and harder than most people expect. We talk about why your brain works overtime on choices that should be simple and I walk through what a personal recovery kit can look like so you are not building one from scratch in the middle of a bad day.

If you have ever wondered why some days feel impossible before lunch even startsm this episode will help you make sense of that.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://tinyurl.com/3kymbexv or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or 👀 watch on YouTube here:

Has your brain ever hit its limit over something small? Hit reply or let me know in the comments about your version of the blouse moment.

Stay Curious!

~ Jorie

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You know this far too well. You know the task needs to happen. You have the time set aside to do it. And yet…something in you will not move toward it.

Most of us have a name ready for this: lazy, entitled, undisciplined, incompetent. But this resistance is not a verdict on your character. It really isn’t. It’s simply data. And it’s data that is worth understanding.

Friction can show up in a few different places and each one is pointing at something different.

TASK FRICTION

The task itself is vague. Or it feels too big. Or it seems like it will take too long to do. Or it has more hidden steps than it looks like from the outside. “Clean the kitchen” is really eleven small decisions, not just one task. Or…the task is boring. There’s no dopamine in it. That’s a real struggle for us.

ENVIRONMENT FRICTION

The thing you need is in another room. Your space is cluttered. You keep getting interrupted right as you find a rhythm (hello interruption rage!). Or what you need has been covered under something and is out-of-sight, out-of-mind. In other words - it no longer exists in your brain.

SUPPORT FRICTION

You are missing information you need, permission to move forward, or another person’s help. No amount of willpower will help that. You can’t “work harder” to fill that gap.

ENERGY FRICTION

The task you have to do landed at the wrong hour. Your brain at 3pm is not your brain at 10am. Asking it to perform the same way at both times is setting yourself up for failure. Your energy matters. A lot.

EXPECTATION FRICTION

You are trying to do the task the way someone else does it, or the way you think you are supposed to, instead of the way that works for your brain. As a result, more mistakes are made, things are forgotten or it’s just not done as well.

So instead of asking yourself, “Why can’t I just start this?” try asking, “Where is the friction?”

And remember, the answer to that question will change depending on what the task is. You are collecting information you can use to create better systems for yourself, not proof of what is wrong with you. Be curious about it. You will be stunned at what you learn about you!

ADHD &…Podcast This Week

This week’s episode is a good companion to this idea. I talked with Rebecca Glick, a board certified functional medicine health coach and founder of Nefesh Living, about why, when we try to create health changes, so many fall apart in the first two weeks, and what she does with her clients instead.

If you have ever started a new health routine with big plans and quietly dropped it by Tuesday, you will want to check this out.

🎧 Listen to the full episode HERE or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or 👀 watch on YouTube

Where does resistance usually show up for you? Hit reply or let me know in the comments.

Stay Curious!

Jorie

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This is the part of ADHD I didn’t know about back then. You can understand a pattern completely and still not build your life around it. I knew the coffee shop worked. I knew that when I did a “Power Hour” session with colleagues I got more done. I also knew I would go right back to sitting alone in my same office expecting a different result. Pretty sure that is the definition of insanity…but that’s for a different time 😂

Body doubling is really just having another person nearby while you work. They do not have to help or even know what you are working on. They just have to exist in the same room, or these days, the same video call.

What changed for me was not just noticing the pattern of getting more done when I was around people. It was deciding it was worth acting on regularly instead of filing it away as an interesting fact about myself. There is a real difference between knowing something about yourself and letting that knowledge change what your day looks like.

I still forget this more often than I would like to admit. Some weeks I remember to schedule a virtual coworking session. Other weeks I am sitting alone in my office, wondering why I still haven’t done my bills.

This week’s podcast episode goes deep on exactly this. We talk about why having someone nearby works so well for ADHD brains, the different ways body doubling can take place, how to figure out which version fits the way your brain works and how to find the right body doubling partner for you.

If you have ever noticed you focus more easily with other people around and quietly wondered if that meant something about your brain, this one is for you.

🎧 Listen to the full episode HERE or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or

👀 Watch on YouTube

Has this shown up for you, knowing something helps and still not building it into your week? Let me know in the comments or hit replay and tell me what is was.

As always - stay curious!

~ Jorie

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Every planner works the same way on paper. Write the task, check the box, move on. What almost none of them take into consideration is that your brain may interact with that structure in a completely different way than the person who designed it did - even if the designer has ADHD.

That is where most organizing systems fall apart. Not because they were poorly made, but because they were built for a brain that does not forget things mid-sentence and does not lose steam by two in the afternoon without warning.

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That pattern is very common with ADHD, and, yet, it is not really about the system. It is about how we grade it. Most of us treat a system like a pass or fail test. One missed day, one skipped step, and the whole thing gets filed under “things that do not work for me.”

Here is a different way to think about it. When a system stops working, the whole system is rarely the problem. Usually it is one specific part: the time of day, the number of steps, the amount of decision making it asks of you in a moment when you have none left to give. Or maybe you just had a bad day.

So instead of asking did this work, try asking what part of this worked. Keep that part. Change the piece that broke. You do not have to start over. You are adjusting one part in something that was already mostly right.

This shift is small, but it makes systems easier to trust. You stop collecting abandoned planners (Yay!!) and start building on what you already know about yourself.

THIS WEEK’S PODCAST

I talked about this during my interview with Mindy Leonard, a professional organizer who works with a lot of ADHD clients. She talked about why there is no one-size-fits-all system for organizing, and how she helps clients treat their systems as something to adjust, not something to pass or fail.

🎧 Listen to the full episode HERE or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or 👀 Watch on YouTube

What is one system you gave up on that might have just needed one piece adjusted? Hit reply and tell me or let me know in the comments. Remember - the more people share the less people feel alone.

Stay curious!

~ Jorie

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Here’s something researchers who study ADHD, including clinical psychologist Russell Barkley, have pointed to for years: working memory is one of the executive functions most affected by ADHD. Working memory is the mental space that holds information just long enough for you to act on it.

Picture a small countertop instead of a full pantry. New information keeps landing on it, which means older information slides off the edge fast, often before you get the chance to use it.

That is not a character flaw. It is how this particular brain function operates for a lot of us, and it explains a lot more than we give it credit for: the brilliant idea you lost between the shower and your desk, the task you meant to add to your list and never did, the reminder that felt so clear in the moment and so far away an hour later.

This week’s episode is about what to do with that information. We are talking about externalizing your thoughts: the practice of getting ideas out of your head and into a form you can see, instead of trusting your brain to hold onto them. It sounds simple, but simple doesn’t necessarily mean easy. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it. The wrong way is a system so elaborate you abandon it by Thursday. The right way starts with one tool, placed somewhere your brain cannot ignore it.

One thing you can try this week: pick a single reminder method, paper or digital, and put it somewhere you have to physically touch it to move past it. A gym bag on the door handle instead of by the door. A note on your keyboard instead of next to your coffee maker. Something that is disruptive so you have to pay attention to it. The goal is not perfection. The goal is one habit that survives past week one.

Want to go deeper?

🎧 Listen to the full episode HERE wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or

👀 Watch on YouTube

Stay curious!

~ Jorie

P.S. What’s one idea you lost this week before you could write it down? Hit reply and tell me or let me know in the comments. The more people share the less people feel alone. ❤️

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We tell ourselves a story that goes something like this: once I feel confident, I’ll speak up in the meeting. Once I feel confident, I’ll start the project. Once I feel confident, I’ll believe I can pull this off. So we wait. And we wait. And the confidence never shows up, because we built the whole plan backward from the start.

Reframing Confidence With ADHD

This week on the podcast, I talked with international speaker and fire guide Harriet Bratt. Harriet works with entrepreneurs on public speaking and visibility. One of the things we discussed was confidence and she reminded me of something: confidence is not something you wait for. It’s something you build by acting while the fear is still there. She put it simply: act with the fear, and let the confidence catch up.

Harriet has also spent years leading firewalks, watching people stand at the edge of something that scares them and choose to move anyway. She told me the shift she sees every time isn’t that people stop being afraid. It’s that they stop treating the fear as proof they aren’t ready. The fear stays. It just stops being in charge.

That distinction matters more than it sounds like it should. Most of us were taught, without anyone saying it directly, that fear means stop. So we hear it, we believe it, and we wait for it to pass before we move. Harriet’s version flips that. Fear shows up, you feel it fully, and you move anyway. Not because the fear disappeared, but because you decided it doesn’t get the final vote. You are the one in charge, not the fear.

The Backward Blueprint

That reframe matters even more for an ADHD brain. Our brains are wired to look for certainty and a clear payoff before they’ll commit real energy to something. So when a task feels unclear, unfamiliar, or uncomfortable, we don’t just hesitate a little. We stall completely, waiting for a feeling that was never going to arrive first.

Crazily enough, most of us don’t usually notice we’re doing this. It doesn’t feel like avoidance. It feels like preparation. We tell ourselves we’re gathering more information, waiting for the right time, getting our ducks in a row. It’s what I call “preparing-to-prepare-to-prepare mode”. Meanwhile, the thing sits untouched, and the story we tell ourselves is that we just aren’t ready yet. Sound familiar?

I think about my own late diagnosis a lot when I talk about this. Before I understood how my ADHD actually worked, I read that same “not ready yet” story as a personal flaw. Like everyone else had access to some internal readiness switch that I was missing. Once I understood what was really happening in my brain, the story changed. I wasn’t missing a switch. I was waiting for a feeling that shows up after you start, not before.

What This Looks Like in Real Life

Say you’ve been putting off a hard conversation, a new habit, or a decision you know you need to make. You might tell yourself you’re not ready. What’s actually happening is your brain is asking for proof of the outcome before you’ve done the thing that creates the outcome. Confidence isn’t proof you’re allowed to start. It’s the result of having started.

This shows up in small ways constantly. The email you’ve reread ten times but haven’t sent. The appointment you know you need to book but keep pushing to next week. The idea you’ve talked about for months but haven’t taken one real step toward. None of these are confidence problems in the way we usually think of them. They’re sequencing problems. We’re waiting for step two to happen before we’ll do step one.

This is a small shift, but it changes where you put your energy. Instead of asking “how do I feel more confident,” the more useful question becomes “what is the smallest version of this I can do today, fear and all?”

Why Self-Awareness Comes First

Here’s the piece that often gets missed: knowing this concept doesn’t automatically change your behavior. You can understand that confidence follows action and still find yourself frozen at the starting line. That’s because the freeze isn’t a character flaw. It’s a pattern, and patterns are specific to you.

What triggers your hesitation? What does your brain needs to feel safe enough to move? What does “small enough to start” looks like for you? These are all things worth getting curious about and understanding with real specificity, not generic advice. The version of “start small” that works for one woman with ADHD might completely miss what’s holding another woman back. That’s the difference between advice that sounds true and support that fits your brain.

This is exactly the work I do with clients. Once a woman understands how her own ADHD brain responds to fear, uncertainty, and new starts, she can build a way forward that fits her, instead of white-knuckling her way through someone else’s five-step plan.

Where to Go From Here

If you’re tired of waiting to feel ready and want support figuring out what actually works for your brain, I’d love to talk with you. You can apply for a Clarity Call here: https://tinyurl.com/hxsnak4s

It’s how we stop blaming ourselves, start trusting ourselves, and build a life that works with our brains.

I've been digging into the latest ADHD research this week, and here are some things I have found.

The life expectancy gap for women with ADHD is nearly 9 years.

I want to share this with care, because I don't want to scare you. But I do want you to take it seriously.

A large study tracking 30,000+ adults with ADHD found that women with ADHD have an average life expectancy of 75.15 years. Women without ADHD average 83.79 years. That's a gap of almost nine years, and it exists largely because of delayed diagnosis, misdiagnosis, and years of going without the right support.

Here's what I want you to hold onto: medication reduces mortality risk by nearly 40%. Getting support, real, informed support, matters. Not just for productivity. For your health.

Learn more: Integrative Literature Review: Impact of ADHD Across Women's Lifespan — PMC

Sleep and stimulants are more similar than we realized.

Researchers found that stimulants and adequate sleep activate the brain in similar ways. They even helped children without ADHD who weren't sleeping enough, but did nothing for well-rested, non-ADHD kids.

The takeaway: if you have ADHD and you're not sleeping, everything else becomes so much harder. Sleep isn't a luxury. It's medicine.

Read more: Brain Scans Reveal a Surprise About ADHD Medications — SciTechDaily

Women in their 30s and 40s are the fastest-growing diagnosis group.

44.2% of diagnosed adults with ADHD are now female. Women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s are the fastest-growing demographic for new diagnoses. And yet women still encounter skepticism from providers when they bring up the topic of ADHD. Many women still report being dismissed or misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression first. That has to change.

Learn more: The Rise of Adult ADHD: 50+ Key Statistics for 2026 - Huntington Psych

Medication reduces mortality risk by nearly 40%.

This isn't about productivity. It's about safety: reducing accidents, unintentional injuries, and the downstream effects of untreated ADHD. Read more: ADHD Medications Use and Risk of Mortality — PMC/NIH

Here’s what all of this means to me: the science is still catching up. Women with ADHD, especially those of us who went decades without a diagnosis, have been navigating something that even researchers didn’t fully understand. So remember, it’s not a character flaw. That’s a knowledge gap. And closing that gap, one conversation at a time, is exactly why I do this work.

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This week on the podcast, I sat down with international speaker and fire guide Harriet Bratt to talk about what happens when you stop waiting to feel confident and start trusting yourself instead. We talk about how ADHD shows up as both a strength and a challenge in business, why impulsive investing so often follows a heightened emotional state, and what it means to lead visibly without waiting for the fear to go away first (spoiler alert - because the fear doesn’t go away). Harriet was a blast to talk to and know you will enjoy this episode!

🎧 Listen to the full episode HERE or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or

📺 Watch on YouTube

Ready to understand how your own ADHD shows up so you can build something that holds? Apply for a Clarity Call

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If this email resonated with you, forward it to someone who needs to read it.

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And then a strange thing happens. You see it clearly. You can name it. You could probably explain masking to a stranger at this point. And yet the next time you walk into that meeting, or sit down at that family dinner, you do the exact same thing again.

If that sounds familiar, I want to tell you something that took me a long time to understand: noticing the mask and being able to take it off are two completely different skills. One does not automatically lead to the other. And the space between them is where a lot of women get stuck and start to feel like something is wrong with them, when really, they just hit the part nobody really talks about.

Why Awareness Doesn’t Automatically Change Behavior

Here is the part that gets skipped over in most conversations about masking. Masking was not a decision. It was a pattern your brain built, often over decades, because it worked. It kept you safe, accepted, employed, or simply not singled out. Your brain learned that pattern the same way it learns anything else: through repetition and relief.

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Hello all!

One of my favorite parts of writing this newsletter is reading through the latest ADHD research so you don’t have to.

Every week, I come across far more studies and news than I could possibly share here. My goal isn’t to tell you everything that’s happening in ADHD research. It’s to highlight the updates that I think will matter most to you and help you make a little more sense of how your brain works.

This week, one theme kept showing up:

Researchers are moving beyond the idea that ADHD is simply a problem with attention.

They’re looking more closely at emotional regulation, hormones, and the support systems that actually help people in everyday life.

Here are the four stories that stood out most.

🧠 Emotional Dysregulation May Be More Central to ADHD Than We Thought

What happened?

A large brain imaging study identified three biologically distinct ADHD profiles. One of those profiles was characterized by significant emotional dysregulation.

Why it matters

For years, emotional overwhelm has often been treated like an “extra” symptom of ADHD. This research adds to growing evidence that emotional regulation may be a much more central part of ADHD for some people than we once believed.

My thoughts

I can’t tell you how many women I’ve worked with who didn’t just come to me because they struggled with focus. They also came because they felt like they couldn’t recover after criticism. Or they became overwhelmed more easily than everyone around them. Or their emotions seemed to go from zero to sixty in an instant and knew I wouldn’t judge them for it. Whether or not this changes how ADHD is diagnosed in the future, it’s encouraging to see research beginning to reflect the experiences so many women have been describing for years. Of course, it would be nice if they just listened to us in the first place…

Want to read the study?

Pan, N., et al. (2026). JAMA Psychiatry.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41739459/

🌸 Hormones Continue to Be a Major ADHD Research Focus

What happened?

Researchers studying women with ADHD found that changes in symptoms during the menstrual cycle, postpartum, and menopause were extremely common.

Why it matters

If you’ve ever wondered why your ADHD seems easier to manage one week and significantly harder the next, you’re certainly not alone. Researchers are finally giving this question the attention it deserves.

My thoughts

This doesn’t mean hormones affect every woman in the same way. But it does remind us that ADHD doesn’t exist in isolation. Our brains, hormones, sleep, stress, and overall health all influence how symptoms show up. The more we understand those connections, the better we can adapt our support strategies.

Want to read more?

Fedele, A., et al. (2026). ADHD in Females: Survey Findings on Symptoms Across Hormonal Life Stages. Monash University.

https://research.monash.edu/en/publications/adhd-in-females-survey-findings-on-symptoms-across-hormonal-life-

❤️ Rejection Sensitivity Is Receiving More Scientific Attention

What happened?

Researchers continue exploring how people with ADHD experience rejection sensitivity, emotional pain, anxiety, and masking.

Why it matters

Many women first recognize themselves in ADHD conversations because of rejection sensitivity, not because of attention problems. Although Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) isn’t an official diagnosis, the experiences people describe are becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

My thoughts

Sometimes simply having language for an experience changes everything. Instead of wondering, “Why do I react this way?” people begin asking, “I wonder if this is connected to my ADHD?” That shift from judgment to curiosity can be incredibly powerful.

Want to read more?

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12822938/

👥 Body Doubling Is Finally Being Studied

What happened?

Researchers published a framework for studying body doubling and how future technology might make it even more accessible.

Why it matters

People with ADHD have been using body doubling for years because it works. Now researchers are trying to understand why.

My thoughts

One of the things I love about the ADHD community is that people often discover practical solutions long before researchers begin studying them. Body doubling is a great example of that. It’s nice to see science catching up. I guess better late than never…

Want to read more?

https://arxiv.org/abs/2605.07851

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🔎 Connecting the Dots

One thing I noticed while reading this week’s research is that almost every study moved the conversation beyond attention. Instead, researchers are asking questions about emotions, hormones, relationships, support systems, and task initiation.

In other words, they’re looking at the parts of ADHD affect many women the most.

I find that encouraging. Because the more complete our understanding of ADHD becomes, the more likely we are to create support that fits real people, not just textbook definitions.

🎙️ This Week on the Podcast

Speaking of things researchers are now studying, this week’s episode is about masking.

Specifically, the rejection sensitivity study above touches on something the episode covers directly: the way people with ADHD learn to hide parts of themselves to avoid criticism, judgment, or standing out. That pattern has a name. And most women I’ve worked with have been doing it for so long they don’t even notice when it’s happening anymore.

In this week’s episode, we talk about what masking is, why women with ADHD are especially likely to develop it, what it quietly costs you over time, and how to start building spaces in your life where you don’t have to do it.

There’s also a distinction in the episode that I think is worth sitting with: the difference between fitting in and belonging. They sound similar. The difference matters.

🎧 Listen HERE or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts

👀 Watch on YouTube

And if this episode makes you realize you want more than a podcast to work through, that’s exactly what private coaching is for. We go deeper on the patterns that are specific to your brain, not just the general ones.

Learn more about working with me here.

Until next time,

Jorie

P.S. Which of these four research updates surprised you most? Hit reply and let me know.

Sources

Pan, N., et al. (2026). Mapping ADHD Heterogeneity and Biotypes by Topological Deviations in Morphometric Similarity Networks. JAMA Psychiatry.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41739459/

Fedele, A., et al. (2026). ADHD in Females: Survey Findings on Symptoms Across Hormonal Life Stages. Monash University.

https://research.monash.edu/en/publications/adhd-in-females-survey-findings-on-symptoms-across-hormonal-life-

Akca, M., et al. (2026). Mixed-Reality Body Doubling for Adults with ADHD: A Research Framework. arXiv. (Preprint; not yet peer reviewed.)

https://arxiv.org/abs/2605.07851

Study on rejection sensitivity and emotional dysregulation in ADHD (2026).

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12822938/

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I recently sat down with Bryan Mark Rigg, PhD, a Yale graduate and Cambridge-trained historian who has spent 25 years studying ADHD and dyslexia. He lives with both. His kids have both. And he has done the kind of deep research that most of us will never do but desperately needed someone to do for us.

What came out of that conversation was a very interesting reframing of ADHD that I have ever discussed on the show. We talked about the ADHD evolutionary advantage, why girls are still being missed at alarming rates, and why poor self-esteem might be the single most damaging thing a person with ADHD can carry. If any of that sounds familiar, keep reading.

The ADHD Brain Was Built for a Different World

Bryan opens with something called the hunter-farmer theory, originally developed by Dr. Thom Hartmann. The idea is straightforward: ADHD brains are hunter brains in a world that has been taken over by farmers.

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First, I want to say thank you for your patience over the past few weeks. Moving a website is no small undertaking and I appreciate you being flexible while I’ve been getting that taken care of.

THIS WEEK IN RESEARCH

I’ve been sitting with some great research for the past couple weeks. Let’s get into it!

The big one first: you cannot train away executive function deficits — and the research is finally catching up to what so many of us have already experienced.

For years, the message has been: work harder at it. Practice. Build the skill. If you just try enough times, your executive function will improve.

And for years, women with ADHD have been exhausting themselves trying to do exactly that — and then blaming themselves when it didn’t stick.

Experts are shifting their thinking on all of it. The emerging consensus among ADHD coaches and educators is that trying to “build” executive function or “train away” deficits isn’t the most effective approach. The goal isn’t to fix your brain. It’s to build better structures around the brain you already have.

That means external scaffolding. Clear, explicit steps. Checklists. Visual cues. Systems that don’t depend on your memory or willpower to function.

This is a meaningful shift, not just in research, but in how we talk to ourselves about why certain things are hard. It’s not a character flaw that your internal reminder system doesn’t work the way other people’s does. It’s a brain difference. And the solution was never to push through it. It was to stop relying on a system that wasn’t built for you and start building one that is.

Here’s what else came out this week:

Women with ADHD are being dismissed and undertreated. (Shocking…(insert sarcastic tone…) A University of Queensland study found women repeatedly face skepticism when raising ADHD with their doctors. And 36.5% of adults with current ADHD received no treatment in the past year. This breaks my heart.

A genetic study is pointing toward a new kind of ADHD treatment. Scientists found that reducing neural noise in the brain, not adding more stimulation, improved focus in animal models. The future of ADHD treatment might not be “more dopamine.” It might be “less static.” I’ll be keeping an eye on this one.

Adults with ADHD are still dramatically under-diagnosed. A study tracking ADHD prevalence from 2000–2025 found significant under-diagnosis in adults across England — and researchers say it reflects a global pattern. Again…shocking…

Here’s the thing I come back to every time I read research like this:

So many women spent decades thinking they were the problem.

Too scattered. Too emotional. Too much. Not enough.

And the science keeps telling us: You weren’t any of those things. You were unsupported.

That distinction matters. Not because it changes what happened, but because it changes what’s possible going forward.

Sources: Child Mind Institute · ADDitude University of Queensland · ScienceAlert · ADDitude – Perimenopause · ScienceDaily – Genetics · PTS Coaching – EF · CDC – Adult ADHD

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THIS WEEK’S PODCAST

This week I spoke to my first male guest - historian and researcher Bryan Mark Rigg, PhD. In my conversation with Bryan, we dig into the evolutionary science behind Hunter-Farmer ADHD Theory, what it means for women who were diagnosed late, and why understanding your brain is the foundation for everything else.

🎧 Listen Here or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or

👀 on YouTube

If you’re ready to stop guessing and start understanding exactly how your brain works click HERE to learn more.

Until next week, stay curious!

Jorie

Share ADHD &... with Jorie Houlihan

When it comes to understanding the dynamics of ADHD in women, especially within the context of relationships, it’s essential to acknowledge that ADHD can present both challenges AND strengths. This nuanced perspective allows us to appreciate the full spectrum of experiences that women with ADHD bring into their relationships, transforming potential obstacles into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.

NAVIGATING THE CHALLENGES

EMOTIONAL SENSITIVITY AND REACTIVITY:

Women with ADHD often experience heightened emotional sensitivity and reactivity, making them more susceptible to feelings of hurt, rejection, or being overwhelmed by their emotions (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria anyone?). While a testament to their deep empathy, this sensitivity can sometimes lead to misunderstandings or conflicts in relationships if not navigated with care and mutual understanding.

So what can we do about this? Open communication is key, key, key!! Talk with your partner about about your emotional needs and triggers, along with developing strategies for managing intense emotions. Doing this can strengthen the bond between partners. It’s also beneficial for partners to be patient and offer reassurance, helping to create a safe space for expressing feelings. As I heard someone say once - safety is the love language for many women with ADHD. I know I can share my struggles with my husband. He doesn’t always understand them but he doesn’t judge them. It took me a long time to feel safe telling him things because I was so used to being judged by people my entire life. Emotional guarding is a hard habit to break.

INCONSISTENT ATTENTION:

The fluctuating nature of attention in ADHD can mean that, at times, women with ADHD are intensely focused on their partners, while at other times, they may seem distracted or disengaged. This inconsistency can be misinterpreted as a lack of interest or affection.

How can we work with this? Understanding that attention variability is a characteristic of ADHD, not a reflection of feelings, can help partners avoid taking this personally. Some strategies to help avoid feelings of neglect can be setting aside quality time and using reminders for important dates. I recommend, if possible, having a regular date day/night. My husband and I have a regular breakfast date on Friday mornings since evenings are sometimes harder for us. It’s one of my favorite things to do all week. We’ve been doing this for probably 15 years now and it helps us reconnect when life is crazy.

TIME MANAGEMENT AND ORGANIZATION:

Challenges with time management and organizational skills can lead to missed appointments, forgotten commitments, or difficulty in managing household tasks, which can put a strain on relationships.

How do we handle this? Implementing organizational tools such as calendars, alarms, and to-do lists can be effective as long as you find the ones that work for you and your brain. Additionally, I recommend working as a team to divide household tasks based on strengths rather than conventional expectations because this can lead to a calmer, more harmonious home.

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CELEBRATING THE STRENGTHS

CREATIVITY AND INNOVATION:

Women with ADHD often possess a unique ability to think outside the box, bringing creativity and innovation into their relationships. This can translate into inventive problem-solving, dynamic date ideas, and a refreshing spontaneity that keeps the relationship exciting and unpredictable. Ask my husband about the time I attacked him with water guns when he got home from work 😂

EMPATHY AND DEEP EMOTIONAL CONNECTIONS:

The same emotional sensitivity that presents challenges can also be a profound strength. Women with ADHD are capable of deep empathy, making them attentive and responsive partners who can form meaningful emotional connections. Their capacity to feel deeply can enhance the emotional intimacy of the relationship.

PASSION AND DEDICATION:

When a woman with ADHD is passionate about her relationship, her dedication can be unmatched. This intensity can lead to grand romantic gestures, unwavering support in their partner’s endeavors, and a deep commitment to working through challenges together.

ADAPTABILITY AND RESILIENCE:

Living with ADHD fosters a remarkable level of adaptability and resilience. Women with ADHD are used to navigating challenges, which means they often bring a flexible and resilient mindset to relationships. This adaptability can be a significant asset in navigating the ups and downs of life together.

EMBRACING THE FULL SPECTRUM

Understanding and embracing the challenges and strengths of ADHD in relationships allows both partners to foster a deeper, more empathetic connection. It’s about celebrating the unique qualities each person brings to the table, working together to navigate challenges, and leveraging strengths for a fulfilling and resilient relationship. By acknowledging the complex tapestry of experiences that ADHD women bring into their relationships, couples can build a foundation of mutual respect, understanding, and unconditional love.

Ready to really understand how your ADHD shows up for you? Ready to take that info and create a life that works with your brain? Learn more

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As some of you know I had to change to a new web platform. It has been a wee-bit of an undertaking. While it’s not my first rodeo, it is still taking way longer than I wanted.

This week there will be no new podcast episode while I am continuing to move everything over. I had to pick my battles and the website won this time. Speaking of the podcast, since it is summer and I would actually like to enjoy it this year, I am releasing new episodes every other week. I have some fantastic interviews coming up so stay tuned! The weeks in between I will be replaying some of your favorite past episodes. Summer is my season of self-care and I’ve neglected it the past two summers. All of us should be enjoying the warm weather (if you are in the northern hemisphere).

As always, I truly appreciate your patience while I am making these changes. I will hopefully have a new blog post up this week. Stay tuned and stay curious!

~ Jorie

You are in your 40s or 50s. You have ADHD - diagnosed or strongly suspected. And lately, things feel harder than they used to. Your focus is shot. The systems that used to work have stopped working. You are exhausted in a way that sleep does not fix because your sleep, which may have never been great, has gotten worse. And you keep asking yourself the same question:

Is this my ADHD getting worse? Is this perimenopause? Or am I just burning out?

ADHD &... with Jorie Houlihan is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

You are not imagining it. And you are not alone. In a recent episode of ADHD &... with Jorie Houlihan, I sat down with Dr. Amy Loden Tiffany - a concierge physician, certified menopause practitioner, and TEDx speaker - to talk about exactly this. What she shared is the kind of information that, sadly, most women never hear in a doctor’s office.

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I read something this week that shifted how I think about ADHD medication.

New research out of Washington University confirmed that ADHD stimulant medications don’t work on your attention centers at all. Wait… what?!

That’s right! They work on motivation. On drive. On the reward circuitry that makes something feel worth doing.

Which means your medication isn’t fixing your focus. It’s making things feel engaging enough that focus becomes possible.

That distinction matters. A lot.

And it’s just one of several things that came out this week that I think you need to know about.

Here’s your roundup:

ADHD Meds Work Differently Than We Thought

Stimulants act on the brain’s reward and wakefulness systems, not on attention networks. This reframes ADHD entirely. It seems it’s less about a broken attention system and more about a motivation and engagement system that needs a different kind of support.

A New ADHD Medication Is Coming

Centanafadine is expected to receive an FDA decision in July 2026. It’s the first drug to simultaneously target dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin - a completely new class of ADHD medication. Worth watching, especially if current options haven’t been the right fit for you. I’m very excited to see what happens here!

Reducing Brain Noise, Not Increasing Stimulation

Genetic research found that lowering certain Homer1 gene variants dramatically improved focus by reducing neural noise - that constant, buzzing static in our heads. Future treatments may work by quieting the brain rather than pushing it harder. This is fascinating! I don’t know about you but I’ve never experienced a quiet brain - even on meds. I’ll be keeping an eye on this.

Undiagnosed ADHD in Women: The Research Is Clear

A major new study confirmed what most of us already knew - that women who go undiagnosed carry years of shame, guilt, and self-blame. No kidding. 🙄 The good news? Diagnosis was described as revelatory - life finally making sense. If you’ve been questioning whether you have ADHD, or whether it’s bad enough to pursue help, please hear this: knowing changes things.

Hormones and ADHD: Still Being Overlooked

Your cycle matters. Perimenopause matters. Hormonal shifts measurably worsen ADHD symptoms and mood - and yet almost no research exists on treating ADHD in women specifically. This is a gap that needs to close, and it’s one reason understanding your own brain is so important right now.

Here’s what I want you to take away from all of this:

ADHD is being studied more seriously than ever. The narrative is shifting. We are starting to understand it more accurately - especially for women.

And that means the tools, support, and self-understanding available to you right now are better than they’ve ever been.

You deserve to benefit from that.

Sources

- ADHD Drugs Don’t Sharpen Attention. They Increase Drive — Psychiatrist.com

- Stimulant ADHD Medications Work Differently Than Thought — WashU Medicine

- Centanafadine New ADHD Medication 2026 — LifeStance Health

- New ADHD Medications at APSARD 2026 — Psychiatric Times

- Adverse Experiences of Women with Undiagnosed ADHD — Nature / Scientific Reports

- Hormonal Fluctuations and Female ADHD — Frontiers

- Six Highlights from ADHD Research — Nature

- Untangling Dopamine and ADHD — Nature

- New ADHD Research Challenges Former Assumptions — EdWeek

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This Week on the Podcast

ADHD, Hormones and Burnout | Dr. Amy Loden Tiffany

Speaking of hormones and ADHD being overlooked - this week’s episode lands at exactly the right moment.

Dr. Amy Loden Tiffany is a concierge physician, certified menopause practitioner, TEDx speaker, and mom of five. She joined me this week to talk about something a lot of women are experiencing but not getting answers about: the collision between ADHD, perimenopause, and burnout in midlife.

We talked about why estrogen matters for brain function in ways that go far beyond hot flashes, how insulin resistance can make ADHD symptoms significantly worse even when your labs say normal, and how to tell the difference between hormonal shifts, neurodivergence, and burnout - because yes, all three can be happening at once.

Dr. Amy also shared her own experience with burnout as a physician managing nearly 3,000 patients while raising four kids under six, and what it took to rebuild in a way that worked for her brain and her life.

It’s one of those conversations that keeps going in directions you don’t expect. I think you’re going to love it.

New episode drops today at 11am CST:

🎧 Listen on the podcast

👀 Watch on YouTube

Ready to understand your brain?

If you’re ready to stop trying to manage your ADHD with willpower and start understanding how your brain works — that’s exactly what we do in private coaching.

The first step is a clarity call. It’s a conversation where we look at what’s actually going on for you specifically, and whether working together would be a good fit.

Apply for a clarity call here.

I’ll see you next week.

Jorie

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And yet.

You are rehearsing the conversation in the shower. You are second-guessing your word choice. You are wondering if you are overreacting, being dramatic, or asking for too much.

You are not. But your ADHD brain has a way of making it feel like you are.

Why This Is So Hard for Women With ADHD

People-pleasing is not a personality flaw. For a lot of women with ADHD, it is a survival strategy that developed over years of masking, misreading social cues, and being told - directly or indirectly - that their needs were too much.

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which is extremely common in ADHD, means that the possibility of disapproval can feel genuinely threatening. Not just uncomfortable. Threatening. So when you walk into a meeting where you might have to push back on a teacher, a principal, or a school psychologist, your nervous system is not just a little nervous. It is bracing for impact.

Add to that the ADHD tendency to doubt your own perception… Did that really happen? Was it as bad as I remember?… and suddenly advocating for your child feels like a high-wire act with no net.

Here is what I want you to know: That hesitation you feel is not weakness. It is your brain doing what ADHD brains do. And it does not have to stop you.

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