I’ll start by introducing our keynote speaker from that event: Rick Miller, Founder and CEO of Kids at Hope, which is an international youth development organization that studies family, school and community culture. At the core of Miller’s work is the belief that all students can succeed, no exceptions.

Years ago, when researchers began studying society, they began to label kids “at risk” of X or Y. So when Miller began his own research, he spun it to saying a kid was not “at risk” but “at hope.” This put a different meaning to difficult circumstances, struggles and any other barriers to success.

We had Miller speak to set the tone for another school year in which our educators will be the caring adults in students’ lives. They will pour into students and be “Treasure Hunters” who are intent on finding the unique gifts in students and believing in them even when they don’t believe in themselves.

We should all be Treasure Hunters – with anyone and everyone.

In baseball, a scout sits in the stands trying to notice a few intricacies that might set apart a player. A general manager has to fit pieces into a system, which requires an in-depth knowledge of how someone’s gifts will translate. A coach places hitters in the lineup based on how well they fit in a certain spot.

We all have talents and gifts. Some can be seen. Others are hidden – whether because we haven’t discovered them or haven’t had the courage to dive into them.

Going forward, be the Treasure Hunter someone needs. Help them extract those gifts. Encourage them to try and to give something a chance.

Whether with friends or colleagues or interns, we all have opportunities to help others notice their gifts and help position them to use those. We can make the choice to invest our time and effort into those around us, even when it doesn’t directly benefit us.

We need dreamers in this world. People who refuse to set limits on what’s possible. People who believe there is potential for good in anything. People who look at the logic and instead decide to follow their heart.

And, yes, realists have a place in our world as well. They’re making important decisions every day. This is not to discount them.

But we need people to believe.

To believe the best is yet to come. To believe someone can do something. To believe adverse circumstances don’t put someone “at risk” but instead make them “at hope.” To believe in the person next to them.

Jackie Robinson once said this:

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.”

In our schools, as is Miller’s philosophy, we believe all students are capable of success, no exceptions.

But guess what?

That doesn’t need to be confined to the walls of any school. You can replace “schools” with “lives” and “students” with “people.”

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Then as I pondered it a bit more, I realized I probably sold myself short. Do I know everything? Not even close. But I have lived in many cities, traveled many places, done a few different jobs, had a career pivot, succeeded and failed, and more. I’ve experienced a lot for someone who is only 30. (I’m going to continue to say ONLY 30 so I don’t feel old.)

I’m writing this without having planned out the 30 lessons. I’m going to see what comes to mind.

Here are 30 lessons I’ve learned, written as I turn 30.

1. Treat others how you want to be treated

Kindness is contagious. It changes days and lives. It spreads. It comes around.

It costs nothing to be kind and be a good person. It might be difficult at times, but it’ll feel rewarding.

2. Gratitude is life-changing

I’ve already written on this, but in short: The benefits of gratitude are backed by science. Practice finding things for which to be grateful, regardless of how small they may seem.

When something went wrong, my Mom always used to tell me, “Someone has it worse than you do.” And it’s true. While you can acknowledge that something is difficult, there’s always one thing that deserves our gratitude.

3. Learn someone’s story

If you get to know someone and what they’ve been through, you’ll better understand them. You can’t ever truly walk in their shoes, but you can see how their experiences shaped them.

You might even learn something you can apply to your life.

4. Failure can create even more success

When I was a junior in college, I applied for an internship with MLB.com. I didn’t get it. I was crushed. Devastated. It hurt – bad.

It wasn’t some referendum on my future. But being 20 years old, I took it hard.

After it happened, I promised myself this: I would always outwork everyone because it was the only thing I could control.

Looking back, I might’ve taken this a bit too far. But I remember trying to find ways to work even harder. I was a college kid working hard and having fun, but not getting that internship put this in my head:

I’m going to work so hard that I leave no doubt as to what I deserve because I’ll have earned it. And if it doesn’t work out, then I can sleep peacefully knowing I truly gave it my all and left no stone unturned.

All of this leads me to the next lesson.

5. Be patient as you wait to see the bigger picture

This is difficult to do in the moment. Again, 20-year-old me was not good at this. And 30-year-old me still struggles with it.

When we’re young, we often believe one outcome, one decision, one struggle will define our entire lives. In my case, I had it all set up. I would get that MLB.com internship my junior year, then again my senior year, and it would set me up for a great job out of school.

Here’s what happened because I didn’t get the internship:

I worked at Sports360AZ during the summer, and Brad Cesmat, who founded it, is still one of my mentors.

I wrote an in-depth story on the ASU baseball program that became one of the reasons I got a job out of school.

I made great memories that summer that had nothing to do with journalism.

And I still made it onto an MLB beat at 22 years old.

It all worked out.

6. The world is about people. People, people, people.

People are at the center of everything. People matter more than numbers, processes, systems, etc.

Real relationships and human connection will always matter most.

7. Leadership isn’t learned from a book

I’ve worked for a few great leaders. They might have gotten ideas from books or talks, but they didn’t learn leadership that way.

Leadership isn’t a concrete skill to be learned from a book. The best leaders inspire by building connections with those they lead. If you feel someone truly cares about you, you’ll naturally work harder for them, even if you don’t realize it.

Good leaders don’t ask people to do things they wouldn’t do themselves. Many great leaders spent time in the trenches, so they understand the lives of those they lead.

I love personal development and performance psychology – I mean, I started this newsletter, didn’t I? – but that’s not how you learn to lead.

8. Few things are black and white. There’s a lot of gray

Yes, certain things are inherently good or bad. Kindness is good. Racism is bad. You get the point.

But many topics in life are nuanced. This is why moral dilemmas exist. Sometimes, there’s no correct answer – or no easy answer. Sometimes, you can see multiple avenues.

Be principled, but don’t be blinded by your own rigidity.

9. Perfect is what you make it

There’s no perfect situation, no perfect job, no perfect circumstances. Perfect is what you make it.

Things turn out well for those who try to make the best out of everything.

10. Step outside your comfort zone

Being uncomfortable leads to growth. Feel the fear, accept the fear, then move forward.

11. It’s OK to not be OK

We all struggle with something. Ask for help. Lean on someone.

Toughness isn’t pushing through without acknowledging something is wrong. Toughness is knowing something is wrong and committing to doing something about it.

12. Take that leap

I loved covering baseball. Loved it. But I knew my mental and physical health were worse for it. If I wanted to do the job to the best of my ability, other things were going to suffer.

I decided that wasn’t worth it. I took the leap. I enjoy my new job, and I love having more time for hobbies, friends and relaxation.

Take that leap.

13. You’re never as good or as bad as you think

It’s often somewhere in the middle.

14. You always have more to learn

I once heard a great representation of this: Think about a U.

U

There are two tops – one on the left, one on the right. On the left, you have the fools who think they know everything. On the right, you have the actual experts.

Most of us are in the middle. We don’t think we know a lot, but we do – more than we realize. But we still have a lot to learn.

15. The toughest teachers are the ones who help you grow the most

I can think of three:

• Mr. Bowman, who VOLUNTEERED to teach us when I was in 8th grade and from that point on marked my papers with so much red pen that you’d think I bled all over them

• Mr. Cudal, whose freshman Honors English class was so difficult that I actually thought I was horrible at writing

• Mr. Lowe, who helped us in college after his career as a beat writer for The Detroit Free-Press and made so many edits to my stories that made mr realize I had a long way to go

16. Be the friend someone needs

As a child, this might mean sitting at a lunch table with someone who’s eating alone and asking how they’re doing.

As an adult, it can be done in any way. Check in on people. Ask how you can help them. Be a good teammate.

17. Your word is the most important thing you have

Thanks for this one, Mom.

She always told us this. When you say you’re going to do something, do it.

18. Be intentional about things

Understand why you’re doing something. Is there a good reason for it? If not, why are you doing it?

19. Mindset is everything

A funny story: I recently ran the Tillman Honor Run for the first time. When I registered, I was in a hurry and I completely spaced on the run being 4.2 miles. I was thinking it was 3.1 miles. When the registration form asked for my expected time to finish, I put a conservative number for finishing 3.1 miles.

Oops.

When it came time to receive my corral number, I was in Corral 1. To give context: Corrals 1-7 are for the elite runners.

But I knew I was in shape. I love to lift weights and run. I’d drilled a 4.2-mile run multiple times. I’d run longer than that. I was healthy. So I figured I’d just get out there and let it fly. I told myself that the people I’d be running with would look like legitimate runners and that I wouldn’t let it deter me. And let me tell you: The people in Corral 1 were LEGIT runners. You can just tell. They have that look.

I ended up running the 4.2 miles in 28:14. I finished in the top-150 of the 16,000-plus who ran the race that day, including the estimated 1,000 in Corral 1.

I did better than I expected, and I believe part of it was that I’d already mentally prepared for everything. I knew I was going to believe in myself. And if it got tough on the course, I promised myself I wouldn’t stop or slow down.

20. Let people enjoy what they enjoy

We all know people who look down on others for their hobbies or what they enjoy. Their loss.

Keep enjoying it.

21. Exercise works wonders for your mood

I’m so grateful for my mobility and the ability to exercise. It has helped my mental health immensely.

22. Feelings can’t last forever

We might be mad. Or scared. Or uncomfortable. But the feeling that comes from a specific thought literally cannot last.

It’s impossible for us to have the same exact feeling forever. Feelings are fleeting. So when you have scary thoughts, just accept them and don’t overreact.

23. Live in a different place if you can

If you can afford it and it makes sense, move at least once. Living in different places gives you perspective on people, cultures and more.

It also helps you confirm what you want in life.

24. Find beauty and joy in small things

When I traveled a lot, I loved taking off at night, music playing in my ears, city lights below. It was so peaceful. There’s something so magical about air travel, and the ability to begin your day in one place and end it in another.

Find joy in small things.

25. There are no stupid questions

How will you ever learn if you don’t ask?

26. The company will always be there. You matter more

I’m not telling you to slack off at work or blow off your job. But I am telling you that it might not be smart to prioritize it over everything.

Most companies would replace us immediately if something were to happen to us. The show has to go on. The work has to get done.

Don’t sacrifice all of yourself for that.

27. Inclusivity is important

You never know what someone is going through. We all have struggles.

We should be accepting of one another. We should make it easier for others to live their lives, not more difficult.

28. Tell people you love them

Your family, your friends, etc. – tell them you love them and that you appreciate them. Truth is, we never know how much time we have on this earth.

29. Don’t live with regrets

You want to be able to put your head on the pillow each night knowing you did the best you could.

30. Be where your feet are and be present

Again, another tough one for young Justin – and current Justin.

But moments are fleeting. The present is all we have. If we spend too much time gnawing on the past or worrying about the future, we’ll miss the moments.

Life is meant to be lived and experienced. You might miss out on that experience if you’re too concerned with the past or future.

Enjoy the current moment, and be grateful that God allowed you to experience it.

—

I thank God for allowing me to see 30 years old and to everyone — especially my parents and brother — who has made my life so special. Thank you for reading through these lessons I’ve learned.

But as I wrote at the top, I don’t know everything. Not even close. So please comment your best life lessons so I can learn from you.

Here’s to my 30s!

Last week, we witnessed the culmination of one of the best turnarounds in sports history – at least in my view. Indiana University football, not basketball, won the national championship to cap an undefeated season.

In the title game, Indiana beat Miami after blasting Alabama and Oregon in back-to-back weeks. Yeah, go back in time and tell someone 10 years ago that Indiana would decimate multiple traditional powers en route to winning a trophy in football and not on the hardwood.

The special man in the middle of this, as you might know, is Indiana coach Curt Cignetti. And his story is the perfect example for people young and old.

Cignetti didn’t come to Indiana as the hot name in the coaching search. He was never a young coordinator coveted by big programs. You never heard much about him until a few years ago.

Truth is, the 64-year-old Cignetti was never a prodigy – at least on paper. He didn’t land the big job immediately. It took him around two decades before he held an assistant coaching position at a big school. Yet he authored what might be the greatest story in college football history at Indiana.

Oh, and all of this after he said this about himself at his introductory press conference at Indiana a few years back: “Google me. I win.” Cockiness or well-earned confidence? I would say the latter.

To me, the theme of Cignetti’s story can be boiled down to this: Prodigious talent is great. Everyone wants to start at the top. But those with lengthy, winding journeys often end up learning lessons on the journey the prodigies never had to take.

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Cignetti began coaching in 1983 as a graduate assistant at Pittsburgh. He didn’t become a head coach until 2011 for Indiana University of Pennsylvania. And he went to that job from Alabama, where he worked as Nick Saban’s wide receivers coach and recruiting coordinator.

He likely could’ve remained on Saban’s staff, risen up its ranks and gotten a bigger head coaching job. But he bet on himself. He coached IUP, then Elon, then James Madison – not Auburn, Florida State and Tennessee. You can see these threads in Cignetti’s teams. They’re tough and well-coached. He develops players. He knows which skills to target in recruiting. He extracts the most out of players.

I don’t know Cignetti, but I’d be willing to bet there were ways his smaller jobs were way more difficult than coaching Indiana through its championship rise. He now has more resources and university support than he’s ever had as a head coach.

We all know prodigies – the ones who excelled all through school, who get great jobs out of college, who don’t have to make as many stops on their journey. This is great. Many are super successful. But there are many roads to the same dream, as Cignetti has shown us.

Sometimes, we overlook those who don’t start near the top. We shouldn’t, though.

I earnestly hope decision-makers in all industries, from sports to business, study Cignetti’s story and use it in their own processes. Sometimes, the best candidate isn’t the most obvious one. Sometimes, the best are those who had to grind for every little thing they’ve earned.

The other lesson in Cignetti’s story is this: With enough belief and grit, nothing is impossible.

In essence, everything Cignetti has done since getting the Indiana job as centered on one question: Why not Indiana?

Why can’t Indiana be a football power? Why can’t Indiana win a championship in football? Why can’t Indiana recruit the best players?

To be clear, this story is really, really rare. This turnaround took a ton. But it should show you to expand your horizons when you think about the possibilities in anything. Ten years ago, no one thought Indiana could ever win a title in football. Heck, people five years ago didn’t think they could. And even last year, some fans and pundits labeled their playoff run as a fluke.

Surely it wouldn’t last.

Those people look really smart, don’t they?

There aren’t many Cignettis in this world. He’s exceptional. He took a lengthy path to his current spot. It probably was very difficult. We probably won’t see another story like Indiana for quite some time. (Or maybe we will!)

There is only one Cignetti, in that exact form.

But why can’t you learn from his story and apply it to your own life? His example can help us all.

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Years ago, I began following Jon Gordon, who is a popular motivational speaker and author. Gordon has spoken to sports teams and businesses, and his books are a hit with anyone looking to build a cohesive team.

Gordon has something he calls the “One Word Challenge.” It is this: Each year, you pick one word that encapsulates your attitude for that year.

Maybe it’s Relentless.

Or Purposeful.

Or Determined.

Or Persevere.

Or Joy.

We are often so focused on what we want to do that we don’t think about how we want to do it. We have goals, but do we possess the attitude needed to achieve those?

Often, this one word can help us pinpoint what matters. Someone beginning their career might pick Determined, while someone settling down could choose Content. A business executive might go with Gratitude and an athlete could go with Fierce. There are so many avenues, which is why I really like this exercise.

The new year is the perfect time for a fresh start. It is, quite literally, the start of something new. We often think about our goals or what lies ahead. Maybe you write down those things you want to achieve.

The one word becomes the ingredient to everything you do.

If you pick Relentless, then you are relentless in bettering your physical health and relentless in loving your family and relentless in your faith.

If you choose Joy, you might opt to try to find joy in everything from lovely memories to work to chores to unfortunate occurrences.

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Truthfully, I don’t think I’ve ever remembered my word by the third month of the year. I’m trying to be better at that in 2026 because I truly believe the One Word Challenge is a helpful way to distill our ambitions for the year.

We can’t control what life throws at us. But we can choose how we respond to any situation. This, to me, is what the One Word Challenge does best: It helps us identify our attitude or focus for the year.

For 2026, my word is Faith.

What’s yours? If you feel so inclined, leave a comment sharing your word. I always love learning about people’s goals for the year.

Here’s to a happy and healthy 2026 for us all!

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Think of the most famous passage you know. Now ask yourself if the speaker or author could have envisioned their words becoming so popular for generations.

This is how I feel about Theodore Roosevelt, whose 1910 speech in Paris still fuels exceptional people to this day. The entire speech is lengthy, and I’ll link to it at the end, but it is most commonly referred to as the “Man In The Arena” speech for this passage:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Ready to run through a wall yet? I think about his words a lot. My friend Brian, a pastor, shared them with me years ago. I can’t remember if I was going through a tough time or if he just saw an opportunity to help me deal with the pursuit of living up to my high standards. Regardless, they really stuck with me.

Fear of failure is one of the biggest obstacles in our world. We’ve all experienced it at some point. Whether we admit it or not, or are aware of it, we’ve all let fear of failure get the best of us at one time or another – or maybe many times.

T.R.’s speech is the antidote to that. It will take your fear of failure and disintegrate it. Read it. Then read it again. And again. However many times you need. Print it out. Whatever it takes.

As he said, the credit goes to the person in the arena – the one doing the task, taking the leap of faith, challenging the impossible. There’s no valor in being the critic who simply notes the failure from afar.

It’ll always be more noble to be in the arena – whatever that looks like for you. It could be pursuing a job in a competitive field. It might be working up the courage to become a bigger voice in business meetings. Or making that scary sales call. Or playing a sport in front of thousands of people and a national audience.

Don’t back away from the arena. Enter it. Bust down the doors.

The easiest path in life is the safe one. The one without risks. The comfortable one. Why? Because without risk, there’s no loss. You can’t fail if you don’t try, right? And if you never fail, you’ll never have to feel like a failure. You can insulate yourself from bad feelings.

This isn’t the way to go. The real failure is in never having tried at all. What’s worse than failing in a pursuit of greatness? Not even beginning the race. You’re leaving so much potential on the table. Why rob yourself of an opportunity to achieve something special?

On Sunday, 44-year-old Philip Rivers came out of retirement to play quarterback for the Colts. After the game, he was emotional about his return.

“Sometimes there is doubt, and it’s real,” Rivers told reporters after the game. “The guaranteed safe bet is to go home, or to not go for it. And the other one is, ‘Shoot, let’s see what happens.’”

A perfect perspective.

The real losers are those who criticize from the outside. It’s easy to criticize failure. It’s difficult to put yourself in a position that might entail failure.

Failing stinks. No one enjoys it. But the best lessons come from it. As T.R. said, “there is no effort without error and shortcoming.”

So, as you begin your week, don’t be timid. Dare greatly. Take that risk. Attempt the unlikely or the impossible. You never know until you try.

When I covered baseball, I tried to remember this. It became one of my values, something that drove my actions. I tried to understand the players, to be in their shoes. It’s easy to choose low-hanging fruit when you cover a sport full of failure. The better path – in my opinion – is to understand what the arena is like.

I’ve never thrown a pitch in front of 40,000 people. I’ve never been booed. I’ve never struck out to leave the bases loaded and end a game. You’ll see a lot of sports reporters pick apart athletes and their every move as if they’re robots programmed to be perfect. But that’s not how humans work. You realize that when you’re around it.

You’d be surprised at the factors that play into performance. Some players are somewhat sleep-deprived on a given day because they have young kids who were up late at night. There are also so many guys who never say a word in the media if they’re hurt – but they are, and they’re playing worse because of it. The business side of baseball can also affect someone’s performance.

These are all things that come with their arena.

And from the outside, you might never know it. This is why when I wrote a critical story — which was sometimes necessary – I was always transparent with the player or players. They deserved to share their sides, because I could never understand what they actually went through. But I could ask.

This week, embrace the arena. Step inside of it. Don’t criticize from the outside.

My advice to you: Just Try. (Okay, I only put that in because when else am I going to get to reference the title of this newsletter?)

The person who fails “at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

If you’d like to read the entire speech, you can do so here.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you’ll land among the stars.

Ever heard that quote? You see it all the time on the internet, and it’s rather cheesy.

But there might be something to it, at least if you ask Dr. Bob Rotella, who is one of the country’s most renowned sports psychologists. Rotella has worked with athletes of all sports, performers from all arenas and executives from all industries. Rory McIlroy. LeBron James. Jim Furyk. Tony Bennett and Virginia basketball. He’s got quite the rolodex.

Over the summer, I read Rotella’s book, “How Champions Think: In Sports and in Life.” In it, Rotella includes a lot of wisdom he’s used with his clients.

One of his biggest lessons: Set lofty goals. At times, intentionally aim higher than you believe possible. DO NOT be realistic.

Trying to do 50 push-ups? Shoot for 70. Trying to run a mile in under seven minutes? Shoot for closer to 6:30 than 6:55. Whatever you do, don’t be too realistic. In Rotella’s view, people who are too realistic are subconsciously limiting themselves.

Rotella’s work is big in the golf world. In his book, he uses the example of Tiger Woods chasing Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 major championships. Woods has 15, which is second in history behind only Nickalus. While impressive, Rotella believes if Woods aimed to clear Nickalus’ record by a few majors, he might actually be tied with him. Aim for 20 major championships, land at 18 — or something along those lines.

Now, is this always possible? No. It’s entirely possible that Woods could’ve dreamed of winning 30 majors. It doesn’t mean he could’ve won 20. But Rotella’s point is this: Setting loftier goals allows your mind to break barriers.

If you put all your energy into one day running a sub-6 minute mile, then you’ll see 5:55 as the top of the mountain. But what if you could beat that? What if you created a new mountaintop in your mind?

I thought about Rotella’s points the other day as I had a similar — though not identical — situation. I was running in Tempe on a path that goes all the way to Mesa, and it was a beautiful morning. I began running and I felt OK. It’s dry here and that’s different than the Southern humidity.

I felt warmed up after a mile. I felt all right after three.

Mile 5: This is nice.

Mile 6: I actually feel pretty good.

Mile 7: What if I ran 10 miles?

Mile 8: I feel good and am having fun, so what about 13 miles? I’ve always wanted to do a half-marathon.

Before this, I’m fairly sure my longest distance was 10 miles and change. I’ve done that a few times, and I’ve been utterly cooked during the last mile. But this time, something was different. By mile 8, I had it in my head that I was going to try for a half-marathon. So when I reached mile 9, I knew I wasn’t nearing the finish line — I still had 4 miles and change. I reached 10 miles and … kept going.

Eventually, I had run 13.2 miles, which is slightly more than a half-marathon. And, yes, if you’re wondering, I wish I would’ve just signed up for a half-marathon somewhere and done this, because at least I would’ve gotten the medal.

I realized something really powerful during this run: My mind made the last 4 miles possible. I was already shooting higher than 10, so it seemed normal to go over 10.

You’ve probably experienced a phenomenon like this. Maybe you’ve felt sick or work or an event, but you don’t feel crappy until after it finishes — because you knew in your mind that you had to be at your best for it. Or maybe you anticipate something at the doctor’s office hurting so badly that, in the end, it’s not so bad at all.

Everyone who has ever covered baseball understands the pain of going to bed at 2 a.m. after a game, then waking up at 4 a.m. for a 6 a.m. flight. I’ve had too many nights of one or two hours of sleep to count. It. Is. Brutal. As fun as the job is, you’re a zombie in an Uber to the airport at times. But 20 hours later, I’d finish covering a game in the next city. How? Because I knew in my head all day that it was going to be a long day. You prepare for it.

This is the same sort of concept that Rotella mentions, except his is related to goals. When you set them, aim high. Yes, it’s important to have smart and realistic goals. You don’t want to destroy your confidence by holding yourself to an unreachable standard. That’s not good. But try to think bigger.

Set the goal. Then think bigger. Broader. More impossible. This allows your brain to begin visualizing something you never thought possible, and it might actually help you exceed your original goal.

When I first started at Arizona State, the school had a slogan: “If you can dream it, you can do it.” It’s true, which is why visualization is such a popular technique among performance psychologists. If you can envision something, it allows your brain to soak it in, which makes it feel more possible and thus increases its chance of happening.

I’m going to save visualization for another post. I find it fascinating. But the concept fits well here. Help your brain redefine what’s possible. Don’t put limits on yourself.

When setting big-picture goals, aim for the moon, because landing on the stars isn’t so bad.

If anxiety and fear are friends, then anxiety and action are mortal enemies.

Anxiety hates action. It loves fear. It loves inaction. It loves tentativeness. It hates decisiveness.

As I was thinking about what to write ahead of a new week for us all, I landed on this because we’ve probably all faced it.

You’re anxious. So you start thinking. And thinking. And thinking. Suddenly, you’ve gone through every scenario. You feel paralyzed because you’ve just been thinking of the same daunting topic.

Anxiety hates action.

In a less serious case, this might mean writing the first paragraph of an essay or a report instead of obsessing over how to make it perfect. Just start it.

In more serious cases, this might mean intentionally getting off the couch and going for a run during a bout with anxiety and depression.

Don’t stay still as anxiety constricts you like a snake. Move. Pivot. Try something. Anything.

Some days, you’re going to feel anxious, powerless and unwilling to take action. This can be normal. If you’ve dealt with anxiety, you know what I’m referencing. But on these days, it’s important to be intentional about moving – physically or mentally.

Be mindful and tell yourself, “OK, I’m feeling X, Y or Z. That’s OK. It might be because of X or Y.” Then put that on a side table in your head and move forward.

That might mean exerting physical energy during a workout. Or maybe it means working on a task instead of ruminating on something.

I want to be careful here. I feel like the verbiage used for dealing with anxiety can sometimes be a bit harmful or misguided if not properly contextualized.

I’m not saying to fight anxiety. Don’t fight it – accept it. But I also wouldn’t ignore it. There’s a balance to this. You want to reach a point where you can acknowledge anxiety because you’re no longer fearful of it. You no longer worry that it’ll cause you to spiral.

You must respect it. It’s a worthy opponent. Ignore it, and it’ll eat you alive. But you can’t respect it too much that you deviate from yourself.

A sports example: Teams gameplan for an opponent’s weakness, but all teams are focused on maximizing their own strengths. They focus on playing their game. If they worry too much about the opponent, they’re playing right into their foe’s hands.

Such is the case with anxiety. When you see anxiety on the opposing bench, know that it can give you quite the battle. But within that, be focused on what you can do for yourself.

It might be a workout.

Or reading a book.

Or hanging out with family, friends or a significant other.

Or playing with your dog.

DO NOT ignore it, though. Take it from me: In 2021, I remember beginning to feel anxious butterflies in my stomach during September. I was on the road covering the Mets in Boston, and my stomach kept fluttering. It was really uncomfortable. I was super concerned.

Back then, I knew nothing about mindfulness or noting my thoughts and feelings. I thought that was Buddha stuff. (How dumb I was.) I had no clue about productive strategies to deal with anxiety. And beyond that, I had zero idea how to identify why I felt so anxious and why it had built up so heavily.

Fast forward to now, and I have my own strategies. For me, prayer and meditation are helpful. I also try to regularly practice gratitude because it keeps me grounded by helping me notice things I might otherwise overlook.

Another thing: Ask for help. Whether you reach out to me or someone else, ask for help. You’d be surprised how many people have dealt with anxiety, depression or some other mental health struggle. You’d never know it, but everyone has their own stories.

Don’t let anxiety ear you alive. Don’t stand still while it engulfs you. It’s a monster that doesn’t want you to remove its mask.

Anxiety wants you to sit on the couch and think about nothing else but how anxious you are at that moment. It would love for you to grab onto it and let it drag you around.

Don’t do that.

Keep moving.

“Why Gratitude Changes Everything.”

This is the name of the most influential podcast episode – for me – this year. When I saw the title, it immediately intrigued me. As humans, we want to know how we can get something out of our habits. What’s in it for us?

And then, over the next 30 minutes, I was amazed by what I learned about gratitude. This is not some feel-good idea that cannot be measured – it is backed by science.

With Thanksgiving upon us, I wanted to share a bit about the podcast episode – and the episode itself. I’ll link to it at the bottom of this newsletter because you should listen to it. It’s worth your time.

The podcast is called “The Growth Project” and it’s hosted by members of AMPLOS, which is a performance psychology firm that works with elite athletes, business executives and other leaders. For those of you who are Braves fans: Spencer Strider works with Dr. Cory Shaffer, who is part of the AMPLOS team. Cory and a colleague of his, Dr. Drew Bannon, did the podcast on gratitude together.

In addition to Strider, Shaffer works with Dan Lanning and Oregon football. He’s also worked with Clemson athletics, including football coach Dabo Swinney and his players. Bannon has helped, among other people and entities, University of Georgia football. He worked with the team during its recent national championship seasons.

I loved the episode because of this: It gives you evidence on how gratitude helps you. Shaffer and Bannon don’t simply tell you to be grateful because it’s a peaceful way to live – though that’s also true. They provide a lot of incentive to add gratitude to your life, and even to place it toward the center.

As humans, we’re selfish. We want to know how something can benefit us. So here goes.

According to Shaffer and Bannon, gratitude is linked with better emotional, social and physical health. Yes, studies actually show this.

Emotional: People who regularly practice gratitude are happier.

Social: They tend to have better relationships with those around them because, among other reasons, they possess more empathy.

Physical: They tend to feel fewer aches and pains, and even have better sleep and wake cycles. They have stronger immune systems and better cardiac function.

Crazy, huh? But it does make sense.

For example, on the emotional part of this: Psychologists teach you to instruct your brain to “hunt the good stuff.” You do this by focusing on positive thoughts, which then helps your brain naturally lean more positive without you having to be as intentional about it. So, in this case, those who regularly practice gratitude are flooding their minds with positivity.

An increase in gratitude, studies have shown, correlates with a decrease in fear and anxiety. By practicing gratitude, we gain more dopamine and serotonin.

And over time, it also changes your brain’s pathways. Slowly but surely, your brain will begin to function in a more positive manner.

Gratitude takes intentionality. In our busy lives, it can be difficult to remember to slow down and take a moment to be grateful for something – regardless of how big or small it may be. But if we set the intention to practice gratitude, it’ll come more naturally in the future.

A few ideas here:

At the end of each day, write down three things for which you’re grateful.

Be intentional about telling family or friends you’re grateful for their impact on you. Be specific here.

A couple times per day, stop and focus on one thing for which you’re grateful. These will add up.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving! And as you enjoy the holiday, remember that gratitude isn’t some cheesy idea – it can actually benefit all facets of your life.

And for those of you interested in listening to the podcast, I’m linking it here. I linked the Spotify version because that’s what I use, but you can find it wherever you get your podcasts.

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To Atlanta and those who made my time there special,

Thank you.

I am sitting in Phoenix writing this (more on that later). For the last couple weeks, I wondered what I would write. How could I thank each and every one of you who made that chapter of my life so special? I’m indebted to many of you for your impact on my life. No words will ever do justice to the connections we’ve formed.

As I begin a new chapter, I wanted to properly toast to the last one – not about me, but about how the last few years changed my life.

I still remember the day in 2022 when Chris Vivlamore sent me a text message indicating I would be receiving an offer to be the Braves writer for The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. I couldn’t believe it. I had always believed I would hold such a job, but it felt surreal. Covering one of the most prominent professional sports brands for one of the country’s largest newspapers? Insane. In college, my professor – and now mentor – Brad Cesmat had us write a five-year plan. Mine: In five years, I wanted to be covering a pro team for a major media outlet.

When Chris sent that text, I knew I’d accomplished my goal. But as cool as it was to be “the Braves writer for the AJC,” the job gave me so much more.

It gave me confidence as I continued to build my presence on the beat. It provided me with insight into myself, as I navigated issues with burnout and my mental health – all of which helped inform my decisions on my future. I covered people who are at the top of their craft, and it sparked a special interest in mental performance. I got to learn from coaches and executives who have made it to the top of their respective fields.

And most important: I made lifelong friends to whom I’ve talked even since I moved to Arizona. My mentors, like Chris, are now some of my best friends. I cherish them.

On Nov. 11, Chris and I had breakfast – my final meal in Atlanta. As I drove out of Decatur and began my cross-country trek in my Honda Accord, I couldn’t help but think about how lucky I had been to have such a wonderful three and a half years in the Peach State.

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this, but when I got the job in Atlanta, I really needed it. I needed that opportunity in that place. I was grateful to have covered the Mets and lived in New York, but to be truthful, that city isn’t for me. I would never live there again. I’m a kid from San Diego – I’m not used to living on top of other people and never having a moment of silence in public. It was a major culture shock. I’m grateful for the time I spent there, but moving to Atlanta allowed me to live a much better life.

For one, commuting was easier, even if Atlanta traffic is brutal. When I moved into my apartment, I felt like I could actually breathe. I also felt like I wasn’t being hosed with insane rent prices for a place that wasn’t very nice. Oh, and I’d be remiss not to mention this: I couldn’t deal with another harsh winter.

Atlanta was the perfect place at the perfect time. The people are nice. There’s so much to do, both indoors and outdoors. It’s a short drive from so many other cities. It has every season. When I was younger, my family and I went to Atlanta a few times on our way to family reunions in South Carolina, and I always loved it. To live there was an honor – it was my favorite place I’d lived since graduating college in 2018.

Braves president of baseball operations and general manager Alex Anthopoulos used to say something when asked about building organizational culture. “The people make the place,” he would say. This is how I feel about Atlanta, where I made lifelong friends.

My coworkers from the AJC are now some of my best friends. On the beat, I competed with people I consider friends. Journalists and media relations folks have different jobs, but those people are my friends, too – we just happened to be on opposite sides of the business.

When my time at the AJC ended abruptly, I received texts and calls literally seconds and minutes after I left the newsroom for the final time. People wanted to know what happened, but they wanted to know if I was okay. They let me know they were there for me. I heard from colleagues at my workplace and outside of it. I never planned for my time on the beat to end like that, but it provided me with this positive: It gave me a look at how many special people I’d befriended in Atlanta. I felt so grateful that people cared enough to reach out, or to be concerned.

Eventually, my friends helped me with life — not just work. This is, for me, the true test of how close you are to someone. Can you trust them with your problems? Do you value their advice? There were a handful of people who really poured into me when I needed it this year, and I won’t forget it. I hope to pay it forward to anyone who ever needs that from me. I feel so lucky to have been surrounded by such amazing people.

I’m not sure if I’ve spoken publicly about this, but I was really burned out by the end of my time covering the Braves. I’m someone who puts 110% into everything he does. Not a great strategy for an eight-month daily grind in baseball! You have to pace yourself and I, well, uh – I learned valuable lessons there. But I wouldn’t change anything.

I worked as hard as I could on the beat, so I had no regrets after filing my final story – which I didn’t know at the time would be my final story. As athletes say, I left it all out there. I put 110% into every day – every call, every text, every story, every report, every podcast. Everything.

And let me be clear: I wasn’t roofing houses. Covering sports is fun. But pursuing greatness on a beat comes at a cost. Eventually, I felt this was too much to pay.

I wanted to be able to sleep at normal hours. I wanted to be able to eat regularly without having to shovel down food while writing injury updates. I wanted to work out without getting texts or calls about things coming down the pike. At least for me, having to be mentally “on” 24/7 – ready to work at a moment’s notice – took its toll on my nervous system. I found it difficult to be present when doing anything outside of work because I knew I might have to jump on something. I want to be a present father and husband someday. I want to put my time into the people and things that matter. I want to travel for fun, not just to work.

Again, covering baseball isn’t saving lives. It doesn’t come with the pressure of being a surgeon or a police officer. Those are real jobs. I got to make money doing a hobby and a passion.

But it still came with its own challenges, as any job does. You cover every day, from spring training through the postseason. I was on all the road trips, traveling around 150 nights per year between spring training, the season and offseason events. I was so grateful to do it, but I was exhausted.

I came to a realization during the 2024 season: If I wanted to do the job up to my standards, I would continue burning myself out. Could I let off the gas pedal? Sure, but that’s no way to do a job – especially not one that I dreamed of holding as a kid. I have too much respect for writing and reporting to coast through in a lazy way. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it well and to the best of my ability.

Before the All-Star break in 2024, the Braves were in Phoenix and San Diego. If you know me, those are my cities. I grew up in San Diego and went to school in Phoenix. They were my favorite trips. And on that road trip – first to Phoenix, then to San Diego – I was hit with certain emotions. I felt drawn back west. I thought about how fun it would be to be a sports fan instead of having it be work. In the middle of intense burnout, I longed for some balance.

This was the beginning of what led me here to Phoenix, where I’ll begin a new chapter, grateful for everything I learned, good and bad. I don’t want to go into details about how my time at the AJC ended. Trust me, I feel like I owe it to all of you who read and supported my work to give you the entire story. But I’ve always chosen to look forward because I’ve always been excited for whatever would be next. At the time, I didn’t know what that would be.

Until now.

This week, I begin a job as the Communications Coordinator for Union Elementary School District in Tolleson, Arizona. I’m still a storyteller – just through a different lens.

I’m really, really excited for this new challenge. As much as I loved covering sports, I eventually longed to use my skills in a more meaningful arena. When covering sports, I took great pride in telling stories that provided insight into the person and the human condition. I cared far more about that than injuries, free agency and trades.

I’m so grateful to now have a job that will allow me to use my skills and expertise to help make a positive impact on a school district. I have a lot to learn – A LOT – but I feel rejuvenated. I’m ready to do my part to help the school district achieve its goals. When I interviewed for the job, one person on the panel mentioned that they needed more storytelling. This really drew me to the position. I can’t wait to shine a light on all the good happening in the district, and to help foster even more of it. I just want to do my small part to help.

I’m a week into my time in Phoenix, and it feels right. I’m grateful God gave me an opportunity to live a life that better aligns with what I want out of it.

I wrote a lot here – sorry about that. Good thing there’s no copy editor on the other end that has to read this.

I’m really amped to begin my new role and live my new life.

But before that, I have one final message of Atlanta and those of you who made it better than I ever could’ve imagined.

Thank You.

When I created this newsletter, I knew I would one day write about this topic. I have been passionate about it for a few years.

These days, it feels like we cannot escape it. The problems just keep hitting society in the face.

Sports gambling.

I’ll begin by discussing my viewpoint so I’m clear about this.

I’ve never bet on sports. I like sports for the emotion, the people, the stories. Yes, I know sports is a business, but I still try to maintain an innocence with it because it’s something I really enjoy. I don’t want to taint it with betting. But I’m not against sports betting for any holier-than-thou reason. In and of itself, it’s not immoral. Who cares if people enjoy it? Let people live how they want.

BUT …

Sports betting has created a huge issue most people don’t see. You probably think of the casinos, the betting apps, the betting lines, the parlays, the betting experts, and on and on and on.

At the center of this, there are people. Athletes. Coaches. Executives. Yes, real people work in sports. People with families, with emotions, with hearts, with souls, with brains. It may be an entertainment industry, but human beings are at the center of it.

As much as certain personnel – be it players, coaches or executives – may seem like robots in front of cameras and recorders, they are real people. They get sensitive to criticism. They love praise. I’m painting with broad strokes here, but you get the point.

In my interactions with athletes, I’ve learned this: The rise of sports betting has coincided with an increase in hate, death threats, mean messages and more. Now, many of these athletes wouldn’t care if they were the only ones receiving the hate – but threats sent to their family, or including their family? Yeah, those happen, too.

Take it all from a guy who has received such messages after outings.

“It’s awful,” Braves pitcher Pierce Johnson told me. “I mean, you have one bad outing and you ruin somebody’s bet, you just get absolutely harassed. And honestly, most of it is fun, friendly banter. I don’t really care. You can dog me all you want, I’m fine with that. But when you start bringing my family to it and then start trolling my family and friends, that’s where I draw the line, and it really infuriates me. But I have no control over that besides what I do on the field, right? Back before 2020, they had no betting thing on any of the tickers, and now every day you look up and there’s a plus-minus on every single game, no matter who’s starting, whatever it may be. And it’s just part of the game now, so it’s something that we just have to endure, even though (MLB doesn’t) seem to really care.”

A quick aside on the betting content – like those tickers – Johnson mentioned: Players would often roll their eyes and comment on that. Baseball players cannot bet on baseball – a necessary rule. But MLB wants everyone else to bet, they noticed. Ads in stadiums. Commercials during games.

In 2022, my first season on the Braves beat, I wanted to do a story on how players deal with social media’s dark side. In this age, anyone can say anything to anyone from behind a computer screen without repercussions. Would these fans say this if they saw the player on the street? Absolutely not. But the computer screen defends the cowards.

During my interviews for this story, pitcher Ian Anderson made a throwaway comment at the end of a quote of his: He said that many of the people spreading hate to players on social media are just upset that an underperforming player caused them to lose their bet.

Before he mentioned it, I hadn’t thought of that. Sports betting had become more popular and was more out in the open than ever before, but it wasn’t like it is now, three years later.

And let’s be clear: I have a lot of friends who bet on sports. I can almost guarantee they’re not sending hateful messages to those on whom they bet. I understand that the hate on social media doesn’t come from a majority – it’s a vocal and hateful minority. That it even happens at all, though, is a travesty.

Remember when fans used to angrily tweet at football players who didn’t score them enough points in fantasy football? That was dumb, but at least it seemed more harmless than this, for the most part. Now, you have fans messaging players about not coming through on this bet, or not helping them hit that parlay.

The dumbest part of all: Most of these messages and posts come from people who aren’t even fans of the team. They just happened to bet on the players that night.

When I talked to him at spring training ahead of this season, Spencer Strider brought this idea to life in an insightful way – as he usually does.

“One of the biggest problems in my mind with sports gambling and how that manifests itself in a number of ways is that it’s so popularized now that people are interacting with a team or with a player or with whole games that their first desire is not for the team to win the game, or not for the player to do well — it’s for a certain circumstantial or inconsequential thing to occur toward the outcome of the game,” Strider told me. “So, before everybody was addicted to sports gambling, it was, ‘I want my team to win. I want my favorite player to do well’ — not, ‘I need them to catch four passes regardless of the outcome of the game.’ So, that’s a weird thing. So I get — and other guys obviously do, too — negativity from fans that are gambling regardless of how we perform, which is a weird thing.”

Strider told me that he’ll get messages even after great outings if he doesn’t hit a certain strikeout total to help someone win a bet. Yeah, he went six scoreless innings, but he had nine strikeouts and not 10. This came as a surprise to me because I don’t bet. I don’t know a ton about the culture. But it made sense once he explained it.

The people spreading hate and vitriol aren’t Braves fans who were happy with Strider’s dominant performance. No, they’re people who only wanted him to hit a certain number for their bet. Maybe they’re only big fans of the sport because they can bet on it. Regardless, they don’t actually care how well Strider pitched.

Recently, Padres manager Mike Shildt retired. The story is deep and nuanced, but in an interview with The Athletic’s Dennis Lin, Shildt cited death threats he’d received from sports bettors. A manager! Not even a player. Wild.

Again, I want to emphasize that many people bet responsibly. When they lose, they don’t take it out on others. So I won’t demonize sports betting as a whole.

But it’s crazy how much it has changed the landscape. Nowadays, pundits make college football picks against the spread – not just on the winner of the game. Many sports podcasts include a lot of betting talk because, well, people will tune in for advice on how to best spend their money. Betting companies sponsor podcasts and media companies.

Meanwhile, those companies are taking advantage of people incapable of helping themselves. A gambling addiction is like a disease. People require actual help. I’m afraid this disease is running rampant among helpless people while gambling companies look the other way and count their stacks of cash while some people suffer.

I recently read a book titled, “Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence” by Dr. Anna Lembke, a psychiatrist who has worked with many people with addictions. In her book, Dr. Lembke writes that studies have shown dopamine in the brain can spike to its highest when a bet has neither hit nor failed. The unknown – a gambler wondering if he or she will receive the reward – is the most exciting part of the betting.

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In years spent around professional athletes, the thing people don’t know is this: They’re people. Yes, they make a lot of money in many cases, but I would urge you to not strip them of their humanity because they earn a large paycheck. You would be surprised at how similar they are to you and I. We’re all people.

“It’s all part of it.”

Ever heard someone say that about athletes or celebrities who are harassed? The statement attempts to justify the harassment because, well, it all comes with fame.

Should it?

I don’t think so. I don’t think someone else being famous gives anyone the right to be a bad person.

Yes, fame comes with attention and pressure and expectations and criticism. Those aspects are part of it. Athletes understand that. But their participation shouldn’t subject them to inhumane treatment.

How would it feel if you received death threats from random people? Or if random people sent you hateful messages for no reason? Or if your family received threatening messages from strangers?

As sports gambling continues to boom, I hope those being bet on can insulate themselves from the craziness that surrounds an industry with a lot of issues.

At the gym this morning, I was listening to a podcast from Chris Stefanick, a Catholic podcaster. His advice, geared toward Christians, also can apply to those of you who are not religious.

I really liked the theme of this particular talk:

Build a eulogy.

In life, we are so focused on building our résumé. We want to compile our accomplishments, one after another. We are always looking to add more.

But these are external accomplishments. We cannot take them to the grave. ( I guess you could be buried with your money, but you won’t be able to use it then.)

That’s why Stefanick urges us to focus on building a eulogy. I’ll paraphrase here, but he puts it like this: What do people talk about in a eulogy? Most eulogies don’t have much, or anything, to do with a person’s career.

That’s why our focus should also be on our character.

Who do we want to be? How do we want people to remember us? What are the everlasting traits that we can strengthen to become the best people we can be on a daily basis?

I’m not saying to disregard your résumé. You need that. Don’t let it go. And it’s OK and admirable to strive for more in our crafts or our careers. A job can make us happy. And everyone’s priorities are different.

But Stefanick cautions to not chase worldly success and material items to the point where you become poor in the things that matter: Love,family, relationships, passion, kindness, care, integrity. Don’t lose sight of what’s important.

If your goal is to make as much money as possible, that’s OK.! If you want to be the CEO of a massive company, go get it! No one is telling you not to pursue those things. We need some amount of financial success in order to live and create the lives we want.

But if you’re feeling pressure or anxiety at work, it can be helpful to remember that you are not your job. Many of us have at some point struggled with putting our worth into our work and what ends up on our résumé.

Don’t forget to invest in what matters most and what cannot be taken away.

If you are anything like me, then you have, at some point in life, been your own worst critic — by far. Beating yourself up. Negative self-talk. The self-fulfilling prophecies. And on and on.

I suspect we all struggle, or have struggled, with this to a degree. I wanted to share something I’ve heard multiple times in life that has really helped me.

It is the concept below:

What would you tell your best friend? Is this how you would treat your best friend?

Oh, you forgot one task during work so now you feel you can’t be trusted? Is that what you’d tell your best friend – that one instance defines them?

You did something the wrong way in your job so now you think you’re incompetent and must not deserve to be there. Is that how you’d advise your best friend? You’d tell them their one error means they weren’t capable or qualified all along?

When talking to a friend or a spouse, you lose your cool and say something hurtful, so now you’re just a bad person. That’s what you’d tell your best friend? You’d tell them that, yes, their misstep means they’re a bad person incapable of learning from mistakes or improving?

You probably see where I’m going with this. You can use this concept in just about any arena in life.

The point is this: Once you’re aware that you’re your harshest critic, you’ll begin noticing it much more. Seriously. I mean that.

Don’t believe me? OK, over the next two days, when you have rough moments – be it a mistake or an unfortunate instance – write down how you feel and what the voice inside your head tells you. Then at the end of the day, when you’ve had space from those moments, read what you wrote and see how negative it might sound. Most of us don’t even realize how much that little voice in our heads criticizes us.

It tells us we’re not good enough. It tells us we’re not worthy of something. It tells us that we never belonged at that job in the first place, or that our goals were always out of reach.

The overall key to combatting this is to flood yourself with positive self-talk. And I don’t mean run from your problems or mistakes. Confront those. Try to learn from them. But then file away that information and move forward.

Now, positive self-talk is such a broad topic. So we’ll stick to this newsletter’s theme.

Keep asking yourself: Is this what I would tell my best friend? Would I be this hard on them? If others were this hard on them, would I think it acceptable?

Chances are, you’ll realize you’re being too hard on yourself. The funny thing about us humans: Many of us are much nicer to other people than we are to ourselves. We give others the grace we won’t give ourselves. We forgive them long before we forgive ourselves.

I think some of this is due to the fact that people who strive for excellence often possess great self-awareness. But self-awareness can be a double-edged sword once it starts to make you overly conscious of yourself. It can lead to doubt.

Another reason I think many of us are so hard on ourselves is because it’s sometimes glorified in society. An example: Growing up, one of my favorite athletes was Kobe Bryant. He was a ruthless competitor. He was hard on himself. He worked out three times a day and was unabashed about how he’d outwork everyone else. He wanted to be the best. When he lost, he took it hard. And many times, we see this as kids and think that being successful means holding yourself to a standard of perfection.

Nope.

I can’t speak for him, but I’d assume Kobe’s intention was never to make people feel like they had to be perfect in their own craft. After all, Kobe was the guy who air-balled multiple 3-pointers in a playoff game … and kept shooting.

The truth, or the truth I’ve come to know, is this: It’s not cool or admirable to hold yourself to an impossible standard. It’s not helpful. You’re better off being positive and building yourself up as you chase your goals and dreams. You can hold yourself to a high standard without brutalizing yourself for every mistake, every misstep, every mishap, every obstacle.

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In my time in baseball, one of my great discoveries was learning that many of the game’s best players are those who move on easily. I want to be careful here. It’s not that they “don’t care.” They care. A lot. But they understand failure is built into the game and they can flush it. They learn from it and move forward. Next pitch. Next at-bat. Next play. Next day.

They don’t get stuck in failure for too long. They don’t allow their mistakes to keep beating them.

I’ll take the Braves, for example. Matt Olson cares a lot and wears his emotions on his sleeve – as much as a quiet guy can. But I think he’s easygoing enough to not get mired in his struggles. Austin Riley is so good because he’s so relaxed – he is hard on himself when he doesn’t perform, but he finds ways to internalize that and improve.

One time, Jesse Chavez – Uncle Jesse, for those of you who know – told me about a lesson he once taught his daughter. She was young at the time. I believe Jesse had just had a bad outing, and if I recall correctly, his daughter was thinking he’d be upset about the night. But he told her this: When he showers, that’s when he washes it off. It gets washed off with the dirt and grime and everything else from the game. Then he moves on.

These guys, and others I’ve covered, are so successful because they can bring their best in tough times. They try to remain consistent. They don’t lose themselves.

I always was in awe at how Sean Murphy, a catcher, could go 0-for-4 at the plate but still play terrific defense behind the plate. He knows that regardless of his offense, he must be a steady presence to guide his pitchers through a game. He always kept that idea – that he was a catcher first – at the top of his mind. I covered a few big Michael Harris II slumps, but during them I always remember seeing him make a few incredible catches in center field. The great ones don’t bring their struggles to other parts of their jobs – which is a lot tougher than it sounds.

I remember first covering baseball full-time at age 22. I wanted to be the best. As any early-20s person would, I wanted to conquer the world. I put so much pressure on myself for every single story I did. Every. Single. One. I was really hard on myself. (Covering baseball beats this out of you, luckily. There are 162 games, plus spring training, plus postseason – you’d burn out in April if you treated every single story like your thesis.)

I look back now and I realize this: I was much harder on myself than my bosses or my readers were on me. For years, I held myself to a nearly impossible standard … all while my bosses – whoever they were at the time – regularly assured me I was doing a great job.

You probably have similar situations in life, whether in a job or a relationship or even a hobby. We’re hard on ourselves.

Next time you’re beating yourself up for something, ask yourself: Is this how I would treat my best friend if they were having a tough moment?

I use a popular Catholic prayer and meditation app called “Hallow.” I find it helpful and calming, and I genuinely enjoy it.

Father Mike Schmitz, a Catholic priest in Minnesota, is featured on the app. He does a number of things. One of them is his daily homily, which is a short message he delivers in around five minutes.

In August, I listened to one of them about the value of moments and memories. In it, Fr. Schmitz said something that stuck with me.

“Too often, I miss the value of a moment,” he said.

Don’t we all?

One example he used that pertains to others and not himself: Parents are busy and exhausted while raising young kids … then wonder where the time went when 20 years pass. They say it went so fast. They wish they would’ve cherished it more. Their kids were only babies and toddlers once. They eventually realize, “Man, as tiring as that was, it was a really fun time.”

How many times have you looked back on a day you wish you soaked in more than you did? How often have you hated the grind of something, only to appreciate it later? How often have you been too stressed out to look at all the beauty around you in life?

Life moves fast. It’s impossible for us to clock and remember every moment. This isn’t the point. The message is that sometimes we need to slow down and appreciate the memories and lessons in life.

Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Show gratitude now.

Years ago, I began my professional career in Manhattan – Kansas, that is. I’m from San Diego, so you can imagine how I felt when I arrived in Kansas, with no end in sight. Now, this is no disrespect to Kansas and the wonderful people there – I’ll get to that. But it was a culture shock for me and many nights I simply hoped I would one day make it to a big job.

Well, I did make it to a big job and as I look back, I feel a lot of appreciation for my time in Kansas. Did I experience that at the time? Not as much as I should have. I knew I was there for a reason, but too often I was mired in worry about whether my future would pan out. But eight months changed my life.

I have lifelong friends from there, and we’re in a chat called “Merc dudes” – an ode to our former employer, the Manhattan Mercury. I met another lifelong friend in Brian Smith, a pastor I met when I did a story on how he was a pastor and a basketball referee. And in terms of the job, starting in Manhattan – doing reporting, writing, editing and designing – taught me a level of grit that I took to my larger roles. I always remembered what it took to get to where I got.

I can look back now and say that God blessed me with this chapter. But at the time, I was probably far too young to truly appreciate the moment. I was out to conquer the world, as are most 20-somethings. But I learned.

On the final day of the 2021 regular season, I finished my story – I covered the Mets at the time – and walked outside of the press box at Truist Park. I was looking to move up in the industry, so just in case this was my final Mets game, I took a second outside the press box and looked at the field. I took pictures. I savored the moment. The next time I returned to Truist Park, I covered the Braves.

On certain days as I left the ballpark, in Atlanta or on the road, I would walk slowly toward the elevators. Sometimes I would stop on the concourse. I always wanted to take in the scene and never forget how lucky I was, regardless of that day’s stressors.

As the years progressed, as busy as life became, I tried my best to stay present. I wasn’t always great at it. But I eventually knew that I had done a good enough job of it when a true test came.

In June, my time on the Braves beat ended suddenly and rather unexpectedly. I actually felt remarkably at peace with it. I still do. Though I miss the everyday interaction with the people – the players, the coaches, the public relations staff, the other media members – I felt I truly put everything into the job and tried to appreciate the moments, good and bad. I felt grateful for my moments of pride and I tried to learn from my failures.

I can look back now and say I truly appreciated that part of my life.

Don’t get it twisted, though: I can really stink at focusing on the present moment. In my early 20s, I was far too consumed with trying to “make it” in sports journalism. I assume most people at that age are like this. But I feel grateful that I eventually came to appreciate the journey – its lessons, the people it brought me, etc. – than the destination.

Moments and memories last a lifetime. Soak them in when you can.

Don’t forget to value the moments, big and small, good and bad.

If you’re a Braves fan – or even just a baseball fan – you might know outfielder Sam Hilliard. Great guy. I really enjoyed covering him.

Throughout his career, Sam has had trouble sticking in the major leagues. He’s not alone. The majority of players are closer in status to Sam than they are to Ronald Acuña Jr. and Juan Soto.

One day in 2023, I was talking to Sam about his success at Triple A in the Rockies organization during the second half of the 2022 season. The adjustment was more mental. In baseball, especially in the minors, there are So. Many. Cooks. In. The. Kitchen. Hitting coordinators. Hitting coaches. Personal hitting coaches. Friends. Neighbors. And on and on. Players hear opinions – many of them unwarranted – from all angles. It can be exhausting for them. They all have to learn how to filter out the useless voices while valuing the ones they trust.

Sam told me that as he tried to make the adjustments different coaches wanted, he lost his swing in the process. He didn’t resemble himself. So during that 2022 season, he committed to doing things his way – within reason. He was coachable, but he tried to have this mindset:

If he were going to ultimately fail to have a lengthy career in baseball, he would fail on his own terms.

If things didn’t work out, Sam didn’t want to look back and wonder what would’ve happened if he’d trusted himself. He wanted to know he stayed true to himself.

I try to learn from everyone I talk to, and Sam taught me a valuable lesson here. And it’s a very fine line.

We all should be coachable and understand that we don’t know everything – not even close. We should be accepting of advice and criticism (if they come from trusted sources). Don’t be conceited. But remember to stay true to yourself and trust your gut.

A message to all youth athletes and entry-level interns and workers: This doesn’t mean you don’t have to listen to coaches. Listen to your coaches, teachers and mentors. Be coachable. But somewhere along the line, as you grow up, you’ll begin formulating your own style for doing things.

If you do things in a way that feels authentic to you, then you’re in control of your fate. Within this, though, trust people in your inner circle. Their objective opinions help. And they might know more in certain areas.

For example, Angels manager Ron Washington – formerly the Braves’ third base coach and infield coach – has forgotten more baseball than many of us know. We don’t have 100% knowledge in anything, even the areas in which we’re experts. We shouldn’t ever stop learning.

But don’t lose yourself in the noise of unsolicited opinions. Seek out advice and counsel from those you trust. Then trust yourself.

A subtle flex I just remembered while writing this: In elementary school, our teacher in computer class taught us the “proper” way to type – the one with your fingers in the specific spots. She made it adamant that we had to learn this way. If we eventually did it our own way, fine – as long as it worked.

I think I was 10 then.

I’m typing this with two fingers – my left index finger and my right index finger. I still consider myself a fast typer. I’ve written a bazillion stories over the years, transcribed a gazillion hours of interviews. I’ve written on deadline while Edwin Diaz blew saves and as Austin Riley hit a go-ahead homer in the postseason.

Moral of the story: There’s no one-size-fits-all method. Unconventional thinking is unconventional – until it works.

Go out swinging – and swinging your way.

How do we reset our nervous system and actor ourselves to the moment? I’ve written about grounding techniques, which help us return to and remain in the present moment.

But there’s a specific breathing exercise called “box breathing” that helps us regulate our nervous system in times of anxiety or stress.

It is simple. Begin by expelling all the air from your chest so you begin with empty lungs.

1. Inhale through your nose for four seconds

2. Hold your breath for four seconds

3. Exhale for four seconds

4. Hold your breath for four seconds

Rinse and repeat. Do this for at least a few minutes.

Something interesting: Mark Divine, a former Navy SEAL, is credited with popularizing box breathing. They use it in the military.

I figure that if it works for soldiers, it should be beneficial for those of us who are in far less stressful situations on a daily basis.

In a 2016 Time Magazine article, Divine wrote that he uses box breathing in any situation — before a workout, while standing in line and even while he’s struck in traffic.

“It helps me slow down my breathing rate and deepen my concentration,” he wrote. “When I perform box breathing, even just for five minutes, I am left with a deeply calm body and an alert, focused state of mind.”

Divine recommends repeating the box breathing cycle for at least five minutes for the full effect.

“I have found that the best approach is to do one practice session for 10 to 20 minutes a day, then do a few one- or two-minute ‘spot drills’ as opportunities present themselves during the day,” he wrote. “Box breathing with this four-four-four-four ratio has a neutral energetic effect: It’s not going to charge you up or put you into a sleepy relaxed state. But it will, as mentioned, make you very alert and grounded, ready for action.”

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We’ve all been there.

You’re doing something, whether it be going through your workday or playing a sport. And in an instant, anxiety hits. You feel your chest tighten. Your palms become a bit sweaty. Your mind and heart begin racing.

You might have anxious thoughts. You might simply be overwhelmed or overstimulated. Or maybe you’re just distracted.

The issue: You are not in the present moment. You are anywhere but the present moment.

You might be thinking: Present moment? Ugh, this is cheesy snake oil. I’m clicking out of this newsletter post.

Wait!

Acknowledging a concept like the “present moment” isn’t going to automatically turn you into a Buddhist – not that there’s anything wrong with that – or transport you to a silent meditation retreat. No, it simply is just a fact. Sometimes we’re present, and sometimes we’re not.

It can be as simple as tuning out while a friend is talking or as serious as experiencing negative thoughts when you’re about to face a batter who has homered off you four times in your last eight matchups with him.

What good does it do you to begin thinking about the pitches he hammered 425 feet when you’re about to face him again? Ideally, you should’ve learned from those pitches, gained valuable intel and committed it to memory for the next time. In the moment, you should not be thinking about that. You should solely be focused on letting your subconscious mind – fueled by years of repetition – help you execute the next pitch, then the next one after that.

Or if your boss yells at you, you might scramble. You might fear you’re getting fired. You have tasks, but suddenly you’re a ball of anxiety and you can’t focus.

Or maybe you’re worrying about something that’s in the future instead of focusing on what’s directly in front of you.

How do we bring ourselves back to the present moment?

Try grounding techniques.

In grounding, we’re simply using some sort of “anchor” – something in the present – to keep ourselves in the moment. There are different strategies.

A few:

• You can breathe deeply and focus on your breath, keeping a slow and steady pace that you control.

• You can feel your feet on the ground and wiggle your toes or flex your calves.

• You can use your senses. For example, find three things you see, three you hear or three you smell – or all three one after the other.

• You can go through a stretching routine.

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Obviously, certain techniques work better for some than others. For example, I wouldn’t recommend a pitcher or hitter go through a stretching routine while on the mound – pitch clock violations galore. But pitchers or hitters often try to control their breathing in big moments as a way to slow the game down and stay in the moment instead of thinking about a billion other things that could come to mind.

If you have five minutes at work, you might try a breathing exercise. Or you could take a walk around your office and pay attention to the sounds of the different birds or the colors of the different trees.

If you’re working out, you can try to pay close attention to each rep and feel yourself completing one after the other. Feel your muscles flexing and stretching. Feel the weight and the resistance.

If you’re stretching, the stretches give you a perfect avenue into the present moment because you can feel your body stretching and moving in different ways. You will feel the stretch or the burn.

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In my role as a beat writer covering the Braves, I often balanced multiple tasks and projects daily. I had to write pregame. I had to write off the game. I had to do a newsletter for Friday. I did one to two podcasts per week. I appeared on podcasts and radio shows. Oh, and I had to talk to a bunch of people to do the reporting to be an expert on the topics I covered.

As you can imagine, some days were, um, hectic. One that comes to mind: One day in Boston, the Braves called up Vaughn Grissom at around 10 a.m. I wrote that story and didn’t stop working until around 2:30 a.m. the next morning. I had written five or six stories that day. I still remember that our terrific night editor, Mike Luck, sent me an email after my I filed my final story. His message, more or less: Don’t burn yourself out. Take it easy.

Eventually, I learned to handle the moments better. Instead of focusing on all three tasks, I knocked out one at a time. If I became stressed or overstimulated, I would take a moment to do a breathing exercise. Before big phone calls, I would take a few deep breaths and stop thinking. Sometimes, I would get to the ballpark early and meditate before the clubhouse opened to media and before other reporters filled the press box.

Am I an expert at being present? Not even close. But it’s become a bit easier with effort. You just have to find what works for you.

Let me get one thing straight before we get out of here: Entering and remaining in the present moment isn’t easy. It takes practice, practice, then more practice. Mindfulness – recognizing the present moment without judgement – is like a muscle. The more you try to be present, the more natural it will become.

That doesn’t mean it’s always a cakewalk. We all have tough moments, bad days and erratic emotions. We’re human.

Next time you find yourself becoming anxious or overwhelmed, try a grounding technique or two. Focus intently on what you’re doing – be it deep breathing or something else – and wade back into the present moment.

One of them: Sgt. Jonathan Cudo, a former Marine who was awarded a Purple Heart. He said something that still resonates with me today. (And resonates with my mother, who printed out the story, cut out this quote and always reminds me about it.)

“Regardless of who it is, when you see somebody, when you see a person, know that they have a story,” Cudo told me. “You don’t know their story, so it’s best to be receptive and give everyone the same amount of respect, because you don’t know what walks of life they’ve been through.”

Jonathan’s story: In 2012, he and others serving in Afghanistan were woken up by gunfire. Eventually, a firefight ensued and insurgents launched an RPG in the direction of Cudo and his commanding officer, Lt. Col. Christopher Raible. Cudo was injured when shrapnel struck him in the head. Unfortunately, his commanding officer died.

At the time we spoke, Cudo had gone back to school. He was at ASU and he had recently received his pilot’s license. He had learned to talk about what happened. He had reconnected with his father, to whom he had not spoken in years. He was fearless amid a difficult transition back to civilian life.

As I recall this, I’m rather amazed. When I reported this story at 18 years old, I had great admiration for Cudo, but I think that has only grown over the last decade. As we age, we face our own struggles and those, in turn, help us appreciate what others have overcome.

On that day in 2014, Cudo and I sat at the Taco Bell in the Memorial Union at Arizona State (if you know, you know) and he told me his story. The passersby couldn’t have known what he’d gone through, just as you and I are not privy to the struggles of those we pass on the street or even our friends.

We never know what someone is going through, so let’s show everyone extra empathy whenever we have the chance.

Their names: Georgia, LSU, Florida, South Carolina, etc. 

Saban won seven national championships – six at Alabama, one at LSU. His teams were a nightmare for anyone in college football, especially the SEC teams who faced them most. He’s arguably the best coach in college football history. 

Saban’s teams were impressive. They were big and strong. They were fast. He was one heck of a recruiter. 

Still, as someone who has been around great athletes, I find myself most impressed by “The Process.” The Process was something Saban emphasized to his teams. Yes, their talent mattered. But they had a mental edge because of what their coach preached. 

They had to love the process, he told his players, without being dependent on the outcome. 

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Yeah, winning national championships is probably a lot of fun. But that cannot be the focus of a player of a team. Can it be a goal? Yes – and it probably should be the goal. But it cannot become the focus. 

The process – the workouts, the practices, the dieting, the sleeping, etc. – must be the focus. The players must fall in love with the details, or at least execute them with discipline and consistency. They cannot solely depend on the results to drive that process. It must be driven by passion – for the game, for improving, for anything.

 Results come and go. Often, they aren’t in our control. 

You don’t have to be an elite athlete to use this mindset. It can benefit all of us. 

Your work can deserve a promotion but you might not have the tenure of someone else on staff. You might make a decision that backfires because you couldn’t possibly see that far down the road. You can study your hardest for a test and do poorly if the questions were more difficult than anyone imagined. 

But are you at peace? 

Can you live with the outcome? 

Did you try your best? 

Maybe you tried your best and worked your hardest, and still came up short. Perhaps you can improve your process. To use a sports term: We learn more from losses than wins. We can always look at how we do something and seek to improve. 

But remember not to fall in love with the result. Don’t let the outcome be your fuel. 

Outcomes are fluid. That’s why we can’t base our work ethic and our passion on results. We have to believe in the reason we’re doing something. If we only love it when it goes well, then we should ask ourselves if we really love it. 

Reaching our goals takes a commitment to the small steps we take on a daily basis to achieve an outcome. We can’t only live and die by the result. 

Author Jim Collins wrote a book titled, “Great By Choice.” In it, he detailed the idea of the 20-mile march.

Here’s an except explaining this:

“Imagine you’re standing with your feet in the Pacific Ocean in San Diego, California, looking inland. You’re about to embark on a three-thousand-mile walk, from San Diego to the tip of Maine. On the first day, you march 20 miles, making it out of town. On the second day, you march 20 miles. And again, on the third day, you march 20 miles, heading into the heat of the desert. It’s hot, more than a hundred degrees, and you want to rest in the cool of your tent. But you don’t. You get up and you march 20 miles. You keep the pace, 20 miles a day. 

Then the weather cools, and you’re in comfortable conditions with the wind at your back, and you could go much farther. But you hold back, modulating your effort. You stick with your 20 miles. Then you reach the Colorado high mountains and get hit by snow, wind, and temperatures below zero—and all you want to do is stay in your tent. But you get up. You get dressed. You march your 20 miles. You keep up the effort—20 miles, 20 miles, 20 miles—then you cross into the plains, and it’s glorious springtime, and you can go 40 or 50 miles in a day. But you don’t. You sustain your pace, marching 20 miles. And eventually, you get to Maine.”

OK, got that? 

Here’s the rest of the excerpt: 

“Now, imagine another person who starts out with you on the same day in San Diego. He gets all excited by the journey and logs 40 miles the first day. Exhausted from his first gigantic day, he wakes up to hundred-degree temperatures. He decides to hang out until the weather cools, thinking, ‘I’ll make it up when conditions improve.’ He maintains this pattern—big days with good conditions, whining and waiting in his tent on bad days—as he moves across the western United States. Just before the Colorado high mountains, he gets a spate of great weather and he goes all out, logging 40-to 50-mile days to make up lost ground. But then he hits a huge winter storm when utterly exhausted. It nearly kills him and he hunkers down in his tent, waiting for spring. When spring finally comes, he emerges, weakened, and stumbles off toward Maine. By the time he enters Kansas City, you, with your relentless 20 mile march, have already reached the tip of Maine. You win, by a huge margin.”

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The concept is about consistency. We all have good days and bad days. We all have days when we can give more, and days when we can give less. So, the concept – the 20-mile march – doesn’t have to be taken literally. 

But the idea is important. Anything in life is about consistency and perseverance. There is no magic secret to reaching our goals. The secret is passion and work. Those are the foundational blocks of the house. 

You might practice shooting 3-pointers for one hour every day. The idea of the 20-mile march doesn’t mean you still practice even if you’re sick – though you can. It just means that you don’t go without practicing because you don’t feel like it on Monday, then practice for three hours on Tuesday. 

If you practice for three hours on Tuesday, then your Wednesday might be impacted by that. You’d still be better off skipping Monday because you’re sick and then practicing for an hour on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. 

Again, the 20-mile march isn’t literal. Obviously, there are days when breaks are required. Don’t burn yourself out. But remember that consistency is the key. When we don’t feel like doing something, we should still try to accomplish it. When we feel like doing more, we should be wary not to overdo it, because that energy is needed for future days.

There will be days when we don’t feel like doing something. There will be days when we really feel like doing something.

We need to have some sort of consistent approach to keep us on track and ensure we’re expending our effort efficiently.

“People, by and large, tend to become what they think of themselves.”

Whew.

Powerful, huh?

It is simple, but holds great truth. James’ idea was a pioneering thought about self-esteem. We can alter our own reality by tweaking our perception of ourselves.

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Want to be more confident? Start by changing your view of yourself. It doesn’t happen overnight, or in a month – or even in a few months. But steady changes, one after another, can create a lasting difference.

The simplest trick to begin doing this is by using affirmative language. Ever heard of affirmations?

“I am worth loving.”

“I am capable of conquering any challenge.”

“I am committed to being the best version of myself.”

Those are a few general examples of affirmations. You’re affirming something. The more you do this, the more you bake it into your subconscious. Thus, your brain starts giving you more of these positive thoughts because that’s what you’re feeding it.

So, affirmative language.

“I’m not going to fail my math test.”

“I’m going to pass my math test.”

“I won’t crash the car.”

“I’ll get us there safely.”

“I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

“I’m going to make the correct decisions.”

These are general examples, but see the difference?

To use a sports term: The first version is backpedaling on defense and the second version is attacking the basket. In football, we often say that teams should play to win, and not play NOT to lose. This is the same idea here. You should be telling yourself you’re capable of accomplishing something – not that you’re simply capable of avoiding a poor outcome.

Beginning to think more positively about yourself and your abilities will help you anywhere in life. Shooting 3-pointers. Making that sales call. Leading a presentation. Interviewing someone.

In 2019, on my first day as a full-time major-league beat writer, I walked into the Mets clubhouse and attempted – emphasis on that word – to introduce myself to a few players. I remember going up to Noah Syndergaard and introducing myself. I told him I was going to be covering the team.

“OK.” he said with a blank stare, shaking my hand.

A great feeling on your first day.

Fast forward to last year, when I went into the Phillies clubhouse and approached Bryce Harper – a superstar – for a story on the rivalry with the Braves. He couldn’t have been more kind, but I certainly approached him in a more confident way than I did Syndergaard all those years ago.

Yes, I had more experience. I had covered tons of players and two different teams. I had great relationships with most of the players I covered – especially in Atlanta. No doubt, this helped me feel more confident.

But I also had years of practice approaching and interviewing players. Most people view those guys as heroes – I see them as people. I was around them every day.

Looking back, though, I do notice one change: I became more comfortable in my own skin. That certainly comes with age. But I also like to think my positive attitude had an impact there too.

And, yes, it’s partly true that confidence is usually backed up by practice. If you’ve trained for something, it’s easier to feel empowered. And when you experience success, of course you’ll become more confident.

But you don’t need to have success to be confident. We become what we think of ourselves.

How do you want to be?

And how do you view yourself?

Now, how do those two align? If they don’t, what changes will you make?