Hello beautiful people!

Welcome to a little “Mother Maker Cauldron” where I get to celebrate creatives that move and inspire me in some way.

Keep reading if you want to

• be connected to some beautiful creations made by incredible mothers with a celebratory shout out to a few of them

• See who I’ve been reading on substack and loving!

• What’s coming up that I’m excited by

  If this email appears too long in your email browser, you can click through to the app and continue reading easily x

This week has felt big.

As usual for me at this moment in life. Navigating a transition of marriage into co-parenting.

Moving through friendship disconnections, and other reconnections.

Mothering solo

and attempting to keep the self care together.

It’s eclipse season, and it’s birthday season for me.

I’m turning 30 (Yay Saturn return be gone… I hope…)

and all things are moving as you can imagine.

Many of you would already know, but for those of you new here - I have a passion for mothers who create and make.those raising children and raising big visions,

Mother Maker Cauldron

I’d like to do things slightly differently today. Normally I would share 2 creatives I’m really inspired by at the moment, and then I share some reads.

• Writers I’ve Read

• Creative’s I’m Celebrating

• Some things I’m personally celebrating & excited by

• Things you want to know about (Some publish changes here and an event you might want to attend!)

WRITERS I’VE READ (and enjoyed)

CREATIVES I’M CELEBRATING

I’m a big believer in celebration over competition (or comparison) .

For so many reasons, though that honestly is a big post all for itself.

Today I want to recommend work to you all.

I am currently reading her latest book “The Shape that love refuses to take: Love as Magnum Opus”

Which is a stunning autobiography of the journey of devotional love, and the difference of relationships, the lessons that come from them, and how to know whether to lean into unconditional devotional loving. It explores boundaries, standards, magic of yearning, knowing and Sig tells her own stories and examples of relationships in her own life.

You can only imagine how relevant these words are for me while I navigate a multitude of different expressions of love in my own life.

Why I want to recommend her work is because Sig is an Australian entrepreneur and bestselling author. She is also a women’s health physiotherapist whose work centers on motherhood as a site of cultural and creative power.

She has a degree in neurology and women’s health which then led into studying matriarchal medicine, eastern esoteric traditions, and then led her to founding SOMA MYSTICA and training over 10,000 practitioners worldwide while raising her daughter.

This woman merges the mystic, the creative, and motherhood.

She will also be one of the speakers at our Erotic Mother Symposium on Aug 27th

(Online via zoom)

And early bird is open right now.

You can find details here: Erotic Mother

SOME THINGS I’M LISTENING TO

I listened to this Podcast tonight on the astrological 8th house which is your house of personal transformation. Mine is in Capricorn (tropical astrology) and Sagittarius (Vedic) and loved understanding the initiations of my own life in more detail. Maybe you would like to listen too.

Here’s one of my sensual playlists. I’ve been meeting myself in front of my mirror in the evenings and I went to a store the other day and bought some stick on red-light for my mirror. HIGHLY recommend dancing in front of the mirror for yourself by red-light. Best therapy.

YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT

Here’s what I have for you

FREE

This video podcast I recorded a week or two ago. Maybe you missed it or the timing wasn’t right. If you’re wanting to embrace more visibility in yourself, in your life or online/ in biz… then listen here.

VISIBILITY - LESSONS FROM LEO SEASON

My podcast episode with world renowned Tantra teacher of over 20 years, founder of embodied awakening academy and mother of 2, Chantelle Raven. She’s not on substack so I cannot tag.

If you want to unpack the social and cultural conditioning of motherhood and awaken your aliveness, your sexuality, and your erotic energy once again

Then come listen!

Nothing and No One can take away your eroticism

PAID

EROTIC MOTHER SYMPOSIUM

Tickets are available right now to this one day online event.

Many of you are mothers so of course kids can float in and out.

Early bird ends AUG 20

and I know you’re busy and might forget so set an alarm if you’re like me 500 alarms later.

The event is on the 27th AUG and full replay is available afterwards for ticket holders.

come playyyy

MAKER SPACE

Every second week the mother makers gather and we hang out for 90 mins and heart storm/ unpack and co-create through the creative process of bringing ideas and visions to life. We go through social media energetics & strategy, we go through marketing, sales, the inner work, birth imprints, creative blueprints, human design and more.

Then we break up the recording library so you can sort through all past classes and pick and choose relevant questions that you want answers to!

This is my most accessible offer. Enjoy!

See you live! Bring a tea.

MAKER SPACE

That’s all for now beautiful people!

Lots of love Kat

My loves, hello!

I have something for you.

It’s free.

Come here…

I don’t know about you but I just want to get hot, be in my body, feel in awe of the life around me. Be in response to it. And NOT feel numbed out, resentful or any sort of dead inside as a mother.

Now, I have managed to find the magic in the mundane.

That’s part of motherhood.

But I had to claw my way back to my erotic nature, and to feel alive and turned on by life again.

This year has burnt through it all for me.

That’s why I wanted to record this conversation with an old mentor of mine

ASAP and get it in front of your eyes.

Some women still are missing the link between their erotic nature, and their creativity, money, self expression and deep intimacy with life …. and it shows.

This is A conversation between Kat River and Chantelle Raven. A podcast episode if you will.

Motherhood is supposed to be the ultimate act of love and yet, so often, it’s the moment a woman’s aliveness dies. It’s as though we can pass the baton of life force over to our children and they run around with innocence and awe for the human experience. And we wonder where we went.

I sat down with renowned Tantra teacher Chantelle Raven a couple of weeks ago to record this specifically for you.

She is an ex lawyer, turned sleep consultant, turned tantra teacher.
She has traveled the world, raised two children into adult hood. Experienced deep intimacy and partnership and also solo motherhood.

Her body of work reaches far and wide, and her success, she believes, is down to embracing becoming an erotic mother.

We blow the lid off the myth that motherhood and eroticism can’t coexist.

This conversations is part philosophy, part permission slip, part exorcism of every belief that’s ever told a woman she has to shrink to be a good mum.

Ready to listen right now

“Most women don’t lose their aliveness because they became mothers. They were already numbing out, already living in their heads, already settling for a partner or a life without real chemistry and motherhood simply gave them somewhere to point the blame.”

From there, the we dismantle the cultural conditioning that tells women something un-named has to “die” when they become mothers. Usually sexuality, freedom, ambition, self. We must reframe motherhood instead as an initiation. An experience of life that demands you get radically honest with yourself, or it will make you miserable.

So if you’re into this, and want to dive into how

- The social and cultural conditioning on motherhood (Can we just be hot and turned on??)

- Eroticism isn’t about the bedroom it’s a response to life.

- Motherhood didn’t kill my eros, micro lies and untruths did.

- How resentment isn’t the enemy… resisting it is.

- Control is the thing that has to die.

- Consistency looks different for every element/temperament. What do you need to create inner harmony…

-Nietzsche’s camel–lion–child model of evolution.

Here’s a sneak peak…

“It’s easier for women to say, ‘I’m not feeling sexual because I’m a mother,’ than it is to say, ‘I’m not feeling sexual because I’m not with the right man.’”

“From the time that I gave birth, home birthed both my kids, I was making love a few days after, and I’ve never stopped making love... I’ve been like a daily, every couple of days girl for the last 25 years.”

“It’s actually okay to feel resentful as a mom... and that’s not your only state, and it will move and shake and evolve as you do.”

“If you can’t surrender as a mother, good luck feeling good. Good f***ing luck.”

“Spirit rewards risk.”

By the end, we move the conversation beyond motherhood into business, creativity, and dharma. Chantelle shares how she turned down major money and stages when they didn’t align, and how her biggest financial breakthroughs came only after she moved through fear connected to childhood sexual abuse.

The through line for both Chantelle and I is the same: aliveness, honesty, and eroticism aren’t separate from purpose. It’s the fuel for it.

If you would like to listen to this one hour FREE conversation

click below!

LISTEN HERE - THE EROTIC MOTHER

PS. You’ll see that our entire Erotic Mother Symposium is now LIVE.

This is a FULL one day online event with 4 speakers in the world of the erotic mother.

It’s on the same link and you’re invited to join us if you listen to this conversation and want to get in the room to experience MORE.

Earlybird ends AUG 20 so set an alarm on your phone so you don’t forget. I get it.

Love Kat

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I have slept with children in my bed every night, on top of me or feeding from me for 6 years.

I have had to lean into relational love, the ups, the downs, the uncomfortable bits, and the easy bits, for a decade.

For me, that’s pretty much my entire adult life.
All I have known is how to actively build life with people I love.

So much of the last 10 years showed me where I knew myself well within the circumstances of relationship.

It showed me a version of the way I could love.

I built self trust in many areas.

Had me heal and grow in ways that would never have had happened in the same way otherwise. I am who I am today because of that.

It showed me where my edges and limits were and how willing I was to move deeper into intimacy and connection even in the face of fear, or vulnerability.

It also showed me my own limitations, shadows and aspects of self (and others) I still turned away from.

Becoming a mother cracked me open in ways I genuinely never thought were possible for me.

Birthing my two boys at home, by a fire, and roaring them into the world as my body felt like it would tear into two...

To sit in the liminal and reach into the stars to call my babies was easily the most profound experiences of my lifetime.

My obsession with birth then became a lens to witness life through.

So as I move through the transition right now, all I can see is birth.

But this time it’s for myself. And of course a new emergence of family.

There is the dreaming. The anticipation. The waiting for a new life to arrive.
But
It cannot arrive without walking through the threshold.

The contractions and expansions.

The moments of hormone flooding liminal bliss.
And the moments of squeezing so strongly that all that is not true anymore, must break away.

There has to be a death of some kind, in order for any birth to occur.

And I’m in it.
At the transition. Where there’s a moment of

“Fuck I don’t know if I can keep walking.”

Though I truly believe grief or even transformation should be a communal journey to some extent.

At the end of the day, nobody can step over the threshold for you.
They can love you.
And support you.
They can hold space for the wobbly bits.
The tears.
Hold reverence for the mess.
The ugly bits.

But they cannot birth a life for you.

I ask
If you are someone who is observing this moment of my life in real time.

Hold it gently. Like birth. There’s no rush.
No coached pushing. There’s no correct way to birth.
It is the mystery of the feminine itself. Wild, raw and not meant to be understood.

For anyone who met me while I was in relationship, may have their own work to do around the perception of our “couple” transitioning (socially).

There is a death and re-meeting of us now as individuals in the world.

If anything, for me I feel as though this time of healing and re-arranging is incredibly sacred.
And though I am excited for the high of popping out the other side with a metaphorical baby a life I can feed from the heart in my chest.

Right now, I’m willing to be in the contractions and expansions.
Just being with my soft, tender, strong and intuitive emotional body. Dancing with my humanness.
Holding my own self gently as new parts of me go to sleep, and other aspects wake up.

This is the liminal space.
The actual grit (and gift) of the transformation.

If you are a woman wanting to dance within your own imitations and rites of passage and find the eros, the sensuality and the beauty within the re-brithing of yourself… then you may want to come to our Erotic Mother Symposium one day event.

Join the waitlist

Click above and pop your email in so you are notified when tix go live in a few days!

Subscribe now

To subscribe to Kat River & the Mother Makers on substack is currently free.

Previously a subscription has been $9 a month.

I may consider reestablishing that subscriber base over the coming months as I share more intimately but for now I encourage you to click the above and receive my articles in your email inbox xx

Kat

Thousands of people from my hometown.

Waking up to their morning breakfast,

With me and my vulva on their screen.

All while I’m attempting to have mother’s day pancakes with my son.

Tune into the video above for some story time (and how I survived)

And if you are one of the mothers or women (open to women who are not mothers but are resonant with the message)

Who are interested in joining us for the Erotic Mother Symposium that will be opening next week, A full day with 4x renowned teachers in the field of motherhood and eroticism. The journey of becoming fully alive as mothers.

EROTIC MOTHER WAITLIST

Pop your email ^

We won’t spam, but will get you the details so you can join us in the (zoom) Room in real time.

Lot’s of love,

Kat.

Subscribe now

Enjoy!

Art of Alchemy & Maker Space can be found here:

AOA & MS

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Some of you are out here waiting for the internet to become a safe space before you click publish, post or open your mouth or message to the world.

I get it, It’s scary, vulnerable, all the things.

Here’s what I know…

The internet was never designed to be safe for you.

It will never become that.

As long as you are outsourcing your sense of feeling safe, to the external world of strangers on the internet, you will never embody yourself.

Never know your voice. Never decide to go all in.

You need to have the courage to advocate for your vision regardless.

Look, I get it. The internet authenticity police demand vulnerability and realness like it’s the only pre-requisite to being online. As if that will fix the complex and nuanced landscape of the online projection of the human social psyche.

They demand this, without offering any safety, any formal container, or anything in return that makes that vulnerability and authenticity feel somewhat like a human interaction.

The internet wants a one sided situationship where they get to consume you, your thoughts, your words, your philosophy, your value and maybe if you’re lucky, give you a thumbs up in return.

It’s not really screaming “Put myself out there” or “reveal my deepest and darkest” in the name of “authentic expression”.

So what do we do?

Come, here.

Closer.
Lean in.

I’ll tell you the secret.

The one all the social media gurus aren’t telling you because they are still stuck on viral hooks.

You have no choice but to curate a felt sense of safety to use your voice. You have to dig deep and become courageous. You have to decide strangers on the internet have no say over your self expression. No matter what. Regardless of any feedback loop online. Regardless of what aunt Sheryl thinks. Regardless of If you loose half your “audience”.

Then you have to build self trust to journey through the emotional alchemy that comes after. The vulnerability whiplash. The discomfort of perception, observation or even, crickets.

When you do this, you build inner strength. You show up again. You realise you’re still alive. You gather data on yourself. You notice where you are still gripping. Still needing. Still controlling. Eventually, you begin liberating yourself.

This is not linear.

There comes a point where you genuinely have to back yourself more fully than anyone else ever will.

In that confidence, your energy ruptures the illusion and fabric of the comfort of those around you.

THAT truth and authenticity that is not waiting on any approval or nod of resonance. THAT will tear through those paying attention (and those who aren’t) and immediately people will know if they want to stay or leave.

They want to leave? Let them. Let them run for the hills.

YOU are a force. You have every right to stand there, with your feet on the ground and say “This is who I am, This is what I stand for, and I am unattached to whether you like it or not”

I currently have hundreds and hundreds of people leaving my instagram every day right now.

I am stoked.

Genuinely pleased with myself, and every unfollow is a sign that I am choosing myself over an audience.
Because for the first time I am owning what is true and honest.
My joy, my play, pleasure, happiness, grief, sadness. All of it.

In that journey, those who have previously half paid attention are now ALL IN with me.

A quote my friend Angel says - “If you’re not turning anyone off, you’re not turning anyone on”.

And honestly,

I just want to turn myself on.

Be ON and proud of my courage to show up online in a way that’s real.

Advocate for my vision, my offerings, my excitement loud and proud.

And I want this for you.

As people leave, new people are arriving in hoards. Because they can SEE me now, as someone who they are for.

I trust that. But at the end of the day none of it matters other than my own energetic relationship with social media and how I feel showing up there.

Most people feel good with good metrics.

They feel shit when they aren’t received.

Subscribe now

I mean, it’s human.

You’re human.

We all want to be received but I promise you, you only want to be received by the RIGHT people and the only way to the right people is by cultivating your OWN safety so that you can hold your own voice, share your own mind, judge yourself less, and mother yourself through your own discomfort and in that alchemical process.

You become more you. You attract the correct people. You feel nourished by your experience of social media. You cringe at others less, because you cringe at yourself less.

If you are a woman in the world with something big to say - You are GOING to rock the boat. That is the path of initiation.

Rock it.

Now the collective energy breathes life into the version of you that you have claimed for yourself and it amplifies. It builds in momentum.

Opportunities find you.

People find you.

Your work thrives.

Your vision for your family evolves before your eyes.

Most importantly, you find yourself in the online space and realise it’s all just a projection and amplification of our inner world anyway.

Lots of love, Kat

PS

If you are leaning into advocating for your offerings, your vision, your work, dreams and yourself in the world… then I know you will love my Art of Alchemy on demand experience. Click that ^ to see the full curriculum of witchy intuitive creative goodness, 30+ hours of education around cultivating an energetic relationship with yourself, your business, your creative process.

If you’re into creative blueprints, birth imprints, pattern recognition, beliefs and mindset work, inner work, visioning, human design and how it impacts how you uniquely need to market and speak on your work, how sensuality and creativity as a mother are interwoven, money energetics, soulful social media and so much more…

Come take a look.

I also run the Maker Space where we gather live every second Thursday to unpack all this in real time. You are so invited.

Come play.

If you’ve struggled to trust your ideas. Your ability to bring your vision to life. Whether that’s your business, a creative project, or just the shape of your life and your family. If you are generally sitting there wondering if it will even work or if you’re the one who is capable of bringing it to life…

I want to offer you some of the questions I ask myself if I am ever wavering in trust.
It’s partly because of these, combined with my relationship with my muse (Meet your muse workshop #2 in Art of Alchemy) and an ongoing investment into my relationship with my ideas… that my faith and trust in both myself and my creative process is high.

I’d consider myself someone who trusts her ideas and her vision hard. I have high faith things will work out. I believe this is a huge reason as to why I have experienced the subjective success (Fulfilment, financial nourishment, long term community that I have) And if it doesn’t (because some ideas were always meant to be initiatory portals), I rebuild. I go again. I don’t spin out about it. I think “okay cool, put your big girl pants on, let’s go again.z’

Not from a place of bypassing. Sometimes it is disappointing when something doesn’t work. But I trust so deeply that the end vision for my life is coming, that I have to trust whatever path gets me there.

Here are the questions I ask myself that build that trust.

1. What’s my track record with failure?
Every other time I’ve failed, how did I get back up? Was I at peace with myself? Did I let myself feel it fully (the disappointment, the guilt, the shame?) Did I turn it around and mother myself through the re-becoming? Because that’s what these are. Micro initiations.

2. When I make a promise to myself, do I keep it?
Do I have my own back with my word, or do I put myself into guilt cycles every time? Sometimes I do. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about awareness. Where am I backing myself, and where am I still letting it slip? Have I fully felt and processed the times I didn’t do the thing, or the thing I thought would work, failed? The public embarrassment. The family embarrassment. The judgment. The fear.

3. How do I deal with judgment?
I can handle most judgments fine. “Cute that you have an opinion about what I’m doing with my life. I’m doing it anyway.“ That’s where I sit most of the time. Because I can handle being judged, I can put myself out there and then my dreams are within reach.

But judgment isn’t the real blocker here. It’s the fear of Rejection.. If rejection hits hard, putting yourself out there over and over becomes a war, because you’re always trying to dodge it. Get okay with rejection and you get free.

4. What’s my track record with being okay?
In the times I wasn’t okay, did I reach out for support? Most of us, when our ideas or offerings don’t land, are actually fine. Once we zoom out into the bigger picture of our life, and we can connect dots well. We realise we will always typically be ok. We can try, and try again, and be okay again. Coming back to that fact is freeing.

5. What’s my tolerance for the creative process?
What am I willing to accept as the bare minimum for how I experience my life? If we’re in absolute devotion to our creative path, and I don’t mean painting or singing, I mean the whole journey of receiving something, transmuting it, translating it out through your filter, your gifts. How devoted am I to that? And what do I want it to feel like?

Am I trying to make it beautiful and shiny and sparkly the whole time? Or am I okay with it going into the grit, churning things up, and spitting out the other side?

My own tolerance: I show up for my creativity no matter how I’m feeling. And I expect it to nourish me back. Like an energetic contract with the must (AOA class 2)

What’s yours?

If your baseline is always grinding,

always hard,

always uncomfortable,

never feeling seen,

never feeling enough..

Then that’s the inner work of being visible. Of having a voice in the world. Sometimes that’s genuinely hard. We want to know the baseline so we know what we’re actually working from.

6. Can I be in the mystery?
Can I not know what’s ahead? Not know if something does well or doesn’t. Not know if I make it. Not know if this is even my path. Can I experiment? Play? Not take it so seriously, while it’s still a big deal because it’s mine?

Creativity is wild. It’s a force to be reckoned with. We never fully know how it’s going to come out. That’s the beauty of it. That’s why we’re obsessed. That’s why it moves people.

So. How’s your relationship with the mystery? Can you trust not knowing?

Maker space begins tomorrow my loves! (Or maybe today if you’re reading this the morning of! (16th July Aus)

At 11am Aus Western Standard time.

Come and pick my brain, heartstorm on the things you’re working on, and move through it together.

The mother makers are gather every second week for 2 hours to have real time access to support and guidance while working on your craft/ business/project (or potentially you’re in a lull and want to re-spark) and bringing ideas to life.

All questions will be cut up into a micro replay library so you don’t have to watch a 2 hour replay if you can’t make it live and instead drop into the questions and mentorship relevant to you.

That’s the most accessible way to get in the room with me right now.

You can also take a look at the entire Art of Alchemy curriculum which you can choose to do (self paced) alongside mmakerspace.

Come play!

Maker Space

Love Kat.

Subscribe now

But, before you start, here’s a quick reminder that

The mother makers are gathering again (Live, via zoom), bi-weekly. This is a space you can bring your challenges, your questions to me, and in a group environment we can unpack it in real time and bring you into confidence and clarity within your creative process/ business ideas/ work/ projects.

MAKER SPACE starts in a few days (16th)

This is the most accessible way to work with me. You do not have to have done AOA to join maker space but, some of you may be into AOA…

If you haven’t yet journeyed through Art of Alchemy (12 week program for intuitive witchy mothers in business/ creative projects) then that’s ready for you right now as a self paced fit with your schedule and kids and become some self care time type of thing.

Both of these can be found right here including entire course curriculum and topic themes, testimonials etc:

CLICK HERE

If you want to become alive as a mother as a creative as a business woman, as a “whatever your path is”, as a mother maker… This is what I would do.

I would remove knowing, planning, and trying to make everything so safe all the time for yourself.

There’s this real big pull on safety at the moment, for the nervous system- so that we can relax etc

I get it, to an extent. Of course we want to feel safe but there needs to be a tension point.

If there’s no tension point, then there’s no risk.

When there’s no risk,

there’s no excitement.

There’s no aliveness.

There’s no hunger for more.

We need to enter back into the realm of possibility and mystery and I believe one of the most beautiful beautiful aspects of my life right now …

(for anyone who doesn’t know i’m going through separation and my whole life has been just 180 flipped on its head. There are so many hard aspects about that but the part that I’m really enjoying is the fact that I have no idea what my life is going to look like next year.)

I don’t know where I’ll be living, I don’t know what people will be in my life, I’ll don’t know if my family will be close by, I don t know if I’ll be on the other side ofthe world.

I like just have no idea but it’s in that mystery that I feel so lit up and inspired because it’s like literally infinite possibility. Anything could happen.

I know for some people that feels really shaky and like “oh no I need a little bit of security”.

I’m not saying you have to go and burn your life to the ground in that sense but when everything is so rigid there’s no space for magic.

It’s kind of as if you’ve got your hand in sand and the sand is all the way up to your fingers (See video for demonstration) and there’s no space but when we remove some of the predictability, we’re shaking our hand and we’re creating all this space and other sand like fills around our hand.

That’s kind of a weird metaphor for how I see it as we shake things up a little bit.

We do the thing that’s uncommon for ourselves. We go to a different cafe to our normal routine, we start doing different things. We go a different way we, drive to a different town, we go and explore over here, we say yes to the coffee date we would normally say no to. We reach out to the person on social media, we put ourselves in environments that are unusual to us where we have to grow and change and evolve.

This is where the aliveness starts to come back.

When you start dancing for yourself in front of your mirror again and you don’t normally do that or when you start wearing lipstick on an ordinary day.

This is when a bit of that flirty energy for life comes back. The mystery. A bit of risk, a bit of not knowing how everything’s going to turn out. Putting yourself out there, putting your ideas out there into the world and playing a game with life.

Actually being in this magnetic dance with life again is what brings the aliveness back and when you bring the aliveness back, you bring the creativity back.

I think for many of us, as mums - we are in the mundane of our life a lot it’s not always sparkly, rosy and pretty. Most of us are doing our work to be okay with the mundane. We’re doing our work to be in the normalcy and the boredom of life and making peace with that. I do believe it’s a really strong trait to have and that’s why we can do the things we do…

It’s a beautiful thing (To embrace the mundane) but we don’t want to be numb.

we don’t want to “turn off”. We don’t want to feel like dead inside.

So we have no choice but to bring back this aliveness and there are so many different ways to do it. I have so many things I want say about this but the first thing is to start doing the unordinary thing. The thing that you wouldn’t normally be doing for yourself. It’s about really allowing life to lead you and be in response to to a journey that none of us have control over.

Can we let that shape us, evolve us, change us and as we have more data and know more things we can make different decisions. Therefore change as people.

I truly believe that in the mystery of life creative women come alive.

Tonight brought me to my knees and had me in tears.

I share a little about connecting with your idea/ muse/ business/ project in ceremony/ritual and how it can be not only powerful, but also incredibly healing and clear the debris between you and your vision quickly.

I share also a bit about my own experience, including tonight, and the full circle moment that happened for me, along with some stories of evidence and possibly as to what my “muse/ideas” have guided me to do, and how it’s come true.

Felt called to jump on and have a quick podcast chat with you. These will happen every now and then as I enjoy playing with different mediums.

Hope you enjoy, would love to hear from you in the comments.

For those feeling called to either Art of Alchemy for the first time, or a one off class, or both new mother makers or art of alchemy alumni wanting to join the Maker Space live, here are all the details:

Art of Alchemy is self paced, you can start today if you are ready for it.

Maker space is live and bi-weekly. We start soon on the 16th.

Click below for details and full Art of Alchemy run through - class by class.

ALL DETAILS HERE

Let me know how you enjoyed this podcast below

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Love Kat

The last month of my life have been the most profound.
I flew from Vietnam to West Australia, landing in the loving arms of family and welcomed with a cold wet winter storm of the south west. I lived here for 6 years, birthed my first son here in 2020 and have successfully avoided the south west winter for 5 years.

A week and a half later I boarded another flight and left my two little boys (almost 3 and 6) for the longest time in my life. Eight nights total, to some is not a big deal… but I’ve been highly attached to them since birth and though they would be fine, I thought, I would not be.

I flew to Sydney and drove 4 hours inland to an elegant house in the middle of a paddock and co-lived with 11 other women for 6 nights at one of Caitlin Ericas sensuality retreats.

Fuck.

The medicine of women. Gathering. No rush. Late breakfasts. Leisure as the baseline. Naked sun baking in the winter morning light. Flowers, always, everywhere. Along with a consistent flow of hot drinks, and incense.

Music on always, nourishing farm to table meals prepared daily.

Naked sauna, a spa, some alpacas next door.

That alone was life changing after living with 2 boys and a man full time for the last 6 years.

But beyond that there was an intimacy I have been yearning for as a woman possibly forever.

I’ve been in women’s spaces.

I’ve had deep, meaningful, and stunning friendships with women.

I’ve co-created beauty time and time again.
I’ve frolicked naked in the creek with women,

Cuddled up by fires and generally had a nourishing experience of the women in my life.

And, I’ve also experienced the opposite. Jealousy, possessiveness, passive aggressiveness, shut downs, withdrawals. I believe most of us have experienced this and it does create walls around the heart whether we want it to or not.

Having three rituals a day in the wellness space, with women, where we shared our shame, our vulnerabilities, our tears, our screams of rage and pain, and let it all move tenderly within us…. and witness it transform into laughter, and play, sensuality, and erotic nature for each woman in it’s own way, was profound.

No emotion was too much.
From the dark and the shadowy aspects of processing jealousy, rage, pain, grief crazy, unhinged, seductive, in safe ways…. to playfulness, sexuality, pleasure, and friendship.

Nudity, normalised and platonic. Cuddles, softness, naps, and deep chats. More than that, deep feeling and taking the time to witness each woman in the depth of their emotion and not trying to fix, or tame the wildness of it. Instead witnessing art in moving form.

On the final day, I looked around at the room as it filled with golden light and reflected off the sheer curtains creating an etherial glow.

We were in small groups bathing each others feet one by one and bathing the woman with blessings and prayers.

After a week together, these blessings rolled out of us, from the most authentic parts of our hearts and filled the room with the most beautiful words from women. Every single woman had her heart bleeding with love. Seeping into the room and filling it like a honey.

Thick.

Stunning.

Sacred.

Like a witches spell that changed the cells and rumbled through every woman there.

Those receiving blessings, believing them and truly receiving them for the first time in their lives.

It felt as though any generation curse cast on women from hundreds of years ago, was overwritten in a moment.

Those giving blessings, with their hearts cracked open in reverence for the innocence and purity of womankind.

I sat there with another mother in my lap, my hands on her womb and the sobs heaved through my body. The feeling of love hitting me in waves over and over again. It could not be contained.

How could we not love women.

How could we witness the vulnerability of each other and not fall to our knees in awe.
Fucking awe of the paths we each walk. The unique flavour and essence of our individuality within the whole.
The bravery it takes every day, to stay with ourselves in the mess, in the pain, in the yearning, in the growth. To stay with ourselves in our bigness, our needs, our wanting for more, our magnificence, and not shrink.

I look around that golden room and I was changed. What a gift.

I am currently moving through some of the greatest grief of my own life.

A marriage breakdown

and having to face off with what that means about myself, about my family, for my children.

I am facing off with the ways I hurt him, in the honouring of myself.

It kills me. But it also brings me to life.

This is the language of womanhood.

The cyclical death and rebirth. Sometimes subtle, hormonal, monthly.

Sometimes huge, as it ruptures our entire life and identity as we know it.

Nothing happens, then it happens all at once and we are flooded with water.

Flooded with emotion.

Water is life, we are flooded with LIFE.

Life brings aliveness and I have learned that if I resist, suppress, and avoid the coldness of the waves that are storming within, then I also suppress the calm sunshine clear waters of paradise when they arrive.

I cannot float naked in the golden light reflecting through the water - in peace, if I cannot weather the intensity.

Luckily

We are women. We are capable. We have capacity for ourselves.

Birth taught me this.

The pain does not happen to me.

It will never overcome me.

Because it comes from me, deep within me. It is a part of me therefore I have all I need hold it, love it, and allow it to burn through me like a wildfire and dissolve all that is not truth.

I am in awe of women.

I am in the biggest homecoming of my life thus far.

And to be witnessed by you - reading this, thank you.

I have just moved into a new home, a little rammed earth cottage in the forrest on the outskirts of town.

I build a fire every night.

I said goodbye to my boys yesterday as they left with T,

and I fell to my knees and sobbed in front of that fire.

Today I am tender.

and tomorrow, my guess, I’ll be inspired. Liberated again.

I’ll write poetry, and film videos.

It’s all part of the same process. Interwoven. Not one without the other.

Some of you journeyed with me through Art of Alchemy a while ago, which was a live course I ran on the creative process, bringing businesses, projects and big visions to life as mothers, and how that process is so deeply different to any other process.

I feel as though I am in the thick of creative alchemy right now. There is no way around it. We either numb ourselves, or we are completely cracked open to life.

I will be emailing once again to invite some of you into Art of Alchemy, or into the Maker Space for those of you wanting to be in a live experience of the creative process.

More of that to come over the coming days.

But for now, thank you for seeing me in this.

I see you too.

Leave a comment and share with me.

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Love Kat.

@the.kat.river on IG if you want to play more visually there

Hello to my Substack friends, in light of our latest instagram post, I realise not everyone is on social media in that way but I’d love to keep you all in the loop as naturally, with news like this - the flavour of my work, writing, creations is about to evolve yet again.

So for anyone not up to date, this isn’t the news we thought we’d be sharing share...

After 10 beautiful, deep, meaningful years together, we have decided to walk our own paths and transition our relationship from romantic partnership to a co-parenting and friendship dynamic.

We can imagine this would come as a shock to many, especially considering our work in the world. Many of you have journeyed with us over the years as clients, friends, community or from afar.

Though much of this feels private and sacred, we also understand the social and professional weight of it all too and would like to offer this as an official announcement.

The last 10 years have been phenomenal in so many ways. What we have experienced together is what we both dreamed of. This choice is being made in the name of deeper truth and devotion to becoming more of ourselves.

This doesn’t remove the beauty, intimacy, depth of love, memories and how we have expressed together over the last decade.

All that remains true.

Sometimes life asks more of us than we were previously willing to give, and now it’s time. Life is asking for this next evolution for our family. A big transition for our relationship out of marriage and lovership into a friendship & a coparenting family relationship.

Something like this may not to even be an experience to fully make sense of. The mind wants to connect it all to a narrative, but there are parts of this that feel deeper than that. We are both trusting a bigger picture to unfold and putting one foot in front of another.

Our uncoupling has been hard, full of grief, full of mourning possibility and a future we thought was coming that now is evolving rapidly before our eyes. And at the same time, since the decision was made it has felt right, at a deep level, for both of us.

Grieving is real and also celebration of what has been. We are so proud of what we created together over the years. Our beautiful boys. Big decisions and ways that we chose to live our lives together, from working together, moving, traveling all over the country and parts of the world, dreaming, supporting and being supported by our community and more.

A decade wrapped up in each other.

It feels incredibly vulnerable to share this.

Because it is.

Our vows included our commitment to each others evolution and the evolution of our love no matter how that looked, as our devotion to “being” ourselves and wanting the best for each other.

What changes now is the container in which our relating exists. The agreements, the expectations, and how we show up for ourselves, each other and the boys.

Growth is a natural part of life. And as we grow into a more honest relationship with ourselves there are times that means growing different to the plan.

We believe this is actually ok.

This is human.

It’s real. It’s raw.

It’s devastating and it’s beautiful.

It’s life and the human experience.

Life takes us all on big journeys that are often unpredictable. We have both been lucky enough to experience the deepest connectedness of our lives within this relationship, and we are both leaning in to the mystery of what’s ahead, even when it feels scary, unknown, or wobbly.

Relating authentically means coming back to truth over and over. We love each other to bits. We have a beautiful friendship. This does not feel like an ending or a failure in any way, but more of a completion of one phase, and a transition into something that moving forward will be a more true relationship dynamic for us and our family.

Family centric values are still the forefront. Relationship values are still the forefront.

There have been tens of thousands of people who have witnessed us over the decade, thousands have worked with us in some capacity. We have been integrated into community as a couple. We have been totally integrated into each others family while we’ve been creating our own.

We understand that the grief, or shock, is not just our ours and we know this will bring up feelings of confusion for some + understanding for others.

Big change is coming, but in some ways not much change too. Our memories are incredibly special to us. and our little boys witnessing love, respect, friendship, play and an aligned front is still the main thing. Our work individually will continue to deepen with even more embodiment & experience.

As you can imagine we won’t be sharing the specific details because it’s incredibly nuanced and multilayered. It’s impossible to repeat every conversation, thought and emotion we’ve had (and continue to have, as it’s ever evolving), and we also deserve a level of privacy amidst this big change.

We’ve both been supported incredibly well through this and are extremely grateful for that.

Even though it’s been one of the most challenging things we’ve had to move through, we’re both very optimistic about the life we get to co-create for our boys on the other side of this.

Our priority and focus is on a respectful, connected coparenting relationship and figuring out how family can feel in a new dynamic.

We are both feeling well supported and held energetically and emotionally by those close to us.

Lots of love

Kat & Tully.

In regards to the Golden Days Club, we will be fulfilling that journey with those who are already present in the space but not adding new members. We believe family centric business does not require marriage and both Tully and I hold a family centred view of family life regardless and it doesn’t impact our philosophy of what Golden Days is about.

In regards to Art of Alchemy, and my work with the mothers, mystic and makers - which is why many of you are here… I have some plans currently being worked on that is going to bring that work back to life in a new way and I’m excited for how that will express over time. You can expect some announcements around that in the coming weeks.

Thank you if you have read so far. Most of the responses to this announcement have been incredibly supportive regardless of personal beliefs, and context and nuance has been held beautifully. There have been some who feel not that way, and it’s conflicting and confronting for them. If this is you, it may be best to unfollow the journey as we continue through this.

Lots of love to you all xx

Kat

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It’s odd being back, I feel like I’m walking around my childhood home in the dark, like I sort of remember where everything is, but I’m still fumbling my way through and bumping into furniture.

Tell me if you’re still here on Substack xx

Love Kat

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Odd, because I don’t write about parenting.

Double odd, because I haven’t written in weeks and weeks.

Life has been full.

I attempt to hold myself with grace and create at a more sustainable pace because I truly believe motherhood and making can co-exist but not in the ways we’ve been taught.

I unravel guilt from my shoulders that has them curling over, as if Substack weighs the weight of my 21 month old son and lives between my shoulder blades.

I shake it off.

Little by little.

“People are subscribed. They are waiting on you.”

But they are not. They are not waiting for empty content for the sake of getting a weekly post out.

They are not waiting for marketing strategies and 5 steps to grow a business as a mum.

They are waiting for depth. For truth.

They are waiting for an example of building something meaningful without scarfing the little people who mean the most. Without sacrificing sanity or overstepping internal boundaries.

They want to see that it can be done.

and so-

In my world, there is no rush.

I trust you know that. I trust you want that for yourself too. I’ll be here when I have something to say.

So here I am, ironically though, with no voice - literally. It disappeared the other day, and hasn’t come back.

I couldn’t even parent the boys for two days.

Raf did, however get great at turning his five year old ears on supersonic listening power and hearing every strained whisper coming out of me.

It disappeared the night I was supposed to co-host Woven.

Our debut of our women’s only spoken word poetry night.

Yes, it was as delicious as it sounds.

I stood up there in front of close to fifty women, with a rusty voice some thought sounded sexy, but I just said that it hurt. Because it did.

The next day it was gone completely.

Back to Woven for a hot second because - wow.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Put women in a room together,

and give them a stage… and see the magic that erupts.

Like a volcano,

Slowly at first….

Bit by bit, you feel the rumbling. The earth begins to quiver.

Then it happens.

The crowd picks their collective jaw up from the floor and try to get comfortable in the full body tingles that don’t go away.

Poetry - Heals.

In my “very educated” opinion on healing.

It’s simple.

Witnessing other women in their heart, vulnerability and secret stories,

Having a glimpse into the window of their soul, and having the realisation it looks the same as your own…

heals.

It removes shame, judgement, dogma.

It strips back surface level chit chat and gets straight to the core.

A woman yearns for a baby, for years of praying her body conceives.

A woman weeps as the father of her children tries to make sense of his cancer diagnosis.

A woman challenges societal expectations about time, while grieving the passing of it.

One woman claims space for all women, for the understanding of women, the reclamation of women, the duality of women.

A woman speaks to injustice, and women safety, and mens mental health.

Another cries as she remembers letting go of a baby.

The room is changed.

By simply laying witness to women’s truth.

I’ll include some photos here of WOVEN. You can click to enlarge. All photos carefully taken by Cora from Cora Photography on Instagram. She was also my birth photographer and knows how to be a flower on the wall of a place. Highly recommend if you are Local enough to the Sunshine Coast.

We don’t currently have another event planned but it does feel like this would be beautiful to create for the community seasonally.

I’m moving through new layers of self right now (aren’t we all?)

New layers of marriage.

What does it mean to me to be married? When we leave rules and expectations behind.

We would have gotten married with a non official ceremony happily. We didn’t get the government involved for religious reasons, just legal ones because we believed it would be better for building a life together.

We always knew marriage could mean anything to us.

Relationships are individual entities and have an entire life form of their own. No two are the same.

We have never settled for a role mate style of relationship with gender norms. We’ve always seen ourselves as a unit and everyone simply pulls their weight with the intention of connection.

Sometimes that looks like Tully on the dishes, and I’m breastfeeding. Sometimes it looks like him working and I’m with the kids. The following week I may do a 20k launch and he’s with the kids all week. Tully does the cooking because I’m generally bad at it. I’m not that interested in being great at cooking so this works.

I generally make the home beautiful because I enjoy it - and he doesn’t really care to do it himself.

We are both fully responsible for the kids wellbeing and emotional health. Not a 50/50 split. It’s 100% and 100%. We are both responsible for making income though it often acts more like a seesaw with being self employed, He needs to rest - I get to work. I need to rest - he gets to work. This is good for us in this season where we are both needing a lot of rest while raising two big energy boys.

So when I talk about reimagining a marriage, I see it more as a personal agreement between lovers.

What do we each need to feel seen, loved, valued and like ourselves?

What do we both desire in order to feel more play, more intimacy, more romance?

What do we need as a base line for self care? For filling our cup as human beings seperate from each other.

I feel as though our relationship as it is currently, is ready for a big recalibration. All the little bits and pieces that get quietly swept under the rug in the early years of parenting. The small conversations that don’t get completed due to a child crying or it’s now past 11pm. Many things never a big issue but as time goes on, needs evolve and change. We are required to change with it.

So, As you can imagine,

A relationship rebirth is taking up a lot of brain space. It’s one of those pivotal limbo moments that you look back on as a moment in time that changed the trajectory of life. We went through the same thing when Rafi was Rens age - so about 1.5-2years old. There’s something about the intensity of this time of parenting that has us loose our balance too. We just know the path to be able to pick it all back up and remould it, reshape it, and breathe new life into it… Which is currently in process.

We are evolving in relationship but also with work. I have two muses calling to me, and almost daily I am being pulled towards one or the other. Both hold incredibly unique intentions for the world… Both will take a lot of energy to build into something… So I’m nesting on my energy. Building it and getting ready.

More to come on that soon but I’m waiting for my muses to reveal information and timelines for me to act on. As you do when you’re a mother maker. (If you did AOA or read my "$100,000 intuitive hits" post.)

That’s all in today’s update. Lots of love to all of you and hopefully I’ll be back soon but for now honouring my hermit energy in my 2/4 human design profile because it’s the only way I can refine my craft and direction and bring back a fuller version of my self as a creator xxx

Kat

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The irony is that I am actually into a lot of it, and even teach some of it and have for almost 10 years.

So this is more of a gentle exploration of contradiction and using that for art and creative muse. Holding the duality of helpful models of self growth while also acknowledging when they become unhelpful and somewhat self obsessed.

I am an advocate for active personal development and awareness, but never to the point of no longer enjoying life or as an addiction to perfection.

Anyway, hoping this hits relevant people on this platform and not a whole lot who have no clue what I’m talking about 😂

Would love to hear what it stirs within.

Enjoy.

Love Kat

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Come and listen to this 15 minute audio about

• the invisible and unspoken load of being mothers in business and challenging the ideas that we need to be always available, always “on”, in order to be professional, build trust, be reliable and be consistent.

• with a great example of a “slow business” email sign off I saw the other night that I’ll be implementing,

• and a vulnerable (ish) share of a pattern I struggle with in my own business and creative life.

I also Invite you to be a part of the conversation in your own way too.

Love Kat

PS. I am still mid writing the post I promised for this week on the BTS of a $98,000 launch month and how it happened with a mother centric, sustainable and ethical way which also focused on nurturing my families nervous system and did not lead to burn out. It’s BIG and juicy and I want to make sure it’s complete before releasing it. Thank you for being patient and it should be ready for next week. It will be available, as promised to my paying subscribers here. I’ll be increasing subscription prices before then but for anyone already subscribed for just over a coffee a month, will keep their current subscription rate ongoing. You can upgrade via email, desktop or substack on safari but unfortunately not the app x

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Friends! Hello!

Today I’m celebrating the duality of being in the process of paying almost $20,000 to mother creatives in my community, a dream I’ve held for a long time, creating a channel of income for women in my community.

While also receiving my first significant hate message from someone no longer subscribing to me on substack about making money off mothers and women and how I’m a part of the problem…

This is what I call, a kids in bed, cup of tea post.

Set a reminder on your phone and I’ll meet you back here when you have a moment to enjoy and be present xx

In this post I’ll show you the message I received last night, and write a real time response, alongside my personal process through unpacking the message and how I navigate things like this. This is a mix of personal advocacy and teaching points.

I say hate lightly - because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and she holds truth in her world and I hold truth in mine… Turns out both can co-exist.

This is not my first time experiencing “negative” feedback too.

Most of my entrepreneurial creative life I’ve had people project, cast opinions, or feel very entitled to tell me how what I was doing didn’t quite fit into their paradigms of their life.

In saying that, I always do self reflect.

I don’t just say “Fck you h8erz” and ignore.

I take responsibility for some feedback when it’s relevant and fair.

Though most of the time, it’s water off a ducks back and I’m pretty unattached. In fact, I’ve had so much of it over the years that now, I just turn it into art.
I turn feedback into an opportunity to elaborate, create and do MORE rather than recoil in self pity and embarrassment.

So

Dear h8er,

fuck you Thank you for inspiring todays post and I hope it helps others in my community firstly: Understand money better. Secondly: Feel less fearful of putting themselves out into the big wild world.

I remember when I was only 17, I had just started a new business. It was going well.

I had partnered (Underage and somewhat illegally) with a network marketing company… before anyone really knew what network marketing was.

Most kids I knew, knew an adult who had done Amway or been a part of a pyramid scheme…

Most of the people I knew in my company, were changing the game. Millennials were in their early to mid twenties and laptop lifestyle/ digital nomad culture was just kicking off with the rise of instagram. Most people I knew lacked foresight for the digital age that was coming. I knew it was my ticket out of going to university and working a job for the rest of my life. Not network marketing itself, that felt like a steppingstone. The digital age. The era we are now, well and truly established in.

I was creative chaos. Virtually unemployable unless I was interested in the topic.

I couldn’t see a life for myself where I did one thing forever. I needed a career that could evolve with my interests so I figured entrepreneurship would be the best bet.

Essentially my entire grade thought I was about to scam them. They’d show support to my face, and gossip behind my back. Some even very publicly. I was passionate and vocal about what I was doing… which lead me to eating lunch in the study room alone most days.

I had gone from being a social butterfly and (mostly) liked by everyone … Until I began choosing my own path and advocating for what I believed in.

This period of my life, having group chats made about me, people commenting on my posts hurtful things then walking past them in the school hallway the following day in silence, and feeling somewhat socially outcast - was truly very foreign for me. However it also quickly built empathy and compassion, but also had me develop a lot of resilience.

Not only that, as I moved further into the personal development industry at the time, I began to see that all those who were not being kind, were hurting inside in their own ways.

After high school I kept at it, and was very direct in my approach. I made many mistakes, and had many cringeworthy moments. My brain has blocked many out.

Though by putting myself into the arena and meeting my own edges, I hustled hard, then reached my goal of creating a passive income of about $1500-$2000 a week as a 17/18 year old back in 2013 (Ish). I bought a motorhome RV with my ex boyfriend and we traveled Australia. He surfed, we worked in our business, we had public speaking gigs in many cities and towns around Australia, we had a magazine feature and invited to guest teach for other teams.

Later, our relationship became incompatible, we both became unrecognisable, and alongside a breakup came the inability to maintain our business. It crumbled.

So I did what any heartbroken burnt out girl would do.

I established my Eat Pray Love era.

I moved to Indonesia.

Fell in love.

With myself.

Also with some exotic men.

Returned home forever changed.

I couldn’t do the hustle culture anymore. I knew myself differently.
I couldn’t continue in the personal development space from such a structured way.
Not with seminars and big shot coaches and pedestaling leadership.

I needed a more intuitive approach.
Softer.

Less capitalist. More connected to an ecosystem.

Less “let’s make a million dollars” and pretend to care about others,

to let’s actually look into peoples eyes and feel their pain and share it.

Something more reflective of my heart.

I needed change, though I was still incredibly passionate about the core mission within me.

I wanted people to feel connected to themselves.

Open their minds to possibility and dreaming.

Help them feel more aligned in their pursuits of creating a lifestyle they loved.

Making money was a part of that, but I noticed pretty quickly that most people were either obsessed with money or resented it while needing it.

Most people I knew needed money to fulfil the vision they had for their life. At that point it was a bunch of friends in their early 20’s wanting money to travel the world, But over time as I moved through life and people became parents, and more established in their personal values and career…

They wanted money so that they could care for their families, feel secure, make core memories, support their friends businesses and many needed money to bring a bigger vision of their work to life - which for my network, tended to be service based business or not for profit, that would help many others.

Intentions were pure.

Ever since I was 17, I wanted to help people make money to actually live the life they wanted. I had to decondition (and continue to do so) the fine line between capitalism conditioning and also rejecting capitalism so much that nobody gets helped. Both ends of the pendulum are not it.

Over time, it evolved into a more holistic journey.

Make money,

While staying deeply connected to the creative process,

While maintaining delicious nourishing relationships.

While being attuned to your children.

While keeping intentions pure and being in intuitive communion with a vision.

While using resources to circulate in a community.

So after over 12 years of the core essence being consistent…

You can imagine my surprise when this was the feedback alongside someone in my (paying) Substack community leaving

Like I said above, I’m all for feedback. I often self reflect and take on what I feel is true.

What I don’t do, however is allow assumptions or projections to be made.

said the other day when I saw her live talk,

“You are not what they call you, you are what you respond to”

Now the thing is with this- Is the irony of my space here being specifically for women, especially mothers, to unpack beliefs, internal systems, blueprints and structures that keep us IN the Starving artist and mother martyr archetype.

Mothers are creative beings. We are creating ANYWAY. We start businesses because we WANT to be able to open channels for resources to reach us and be able to nourish our families.

Unfortunately we live in a capitalist society, and mostly all need to pay rent/mortgage/ pay for food, fuel, bills, etc. Capitalism is fucked. We can mostly all agree on that.

I also don’t believe it’s going anywhere fast and it sure won’t crumble with a bunch of people screaming from the sidelines “fuck capitalism let’s lean on each other in community” then continue to be keyboard warriors and not actually go and meet their neighbour.

Usually I’d say “Unless you go off grid and start growing all your own food and have a water tank” but then I went off grid and turns out we still have bills too.

So I figured instead of trying to save the entire world, I would simply do my part and I would find a way to support mothers in making resources for their families, and support them in remaining connected to themselves and their kids in the process - which is a high value for us all and a priority…

I got to work.

And so,

If you are interested in reading me unpack this comment

From a collective point of view, and hopefully have you feel like you can lean into negative feedback more instead of always diluting your passion in fear of setting anyone off…

keep reading.

“All of you is not for everyone”

Maybe that should have been the title of this post.

Dear “Person who believes I am making money “off” them, and that money doesn’t circulate through communities, and likes conversations around art and creativity but god forbid making any income from it"

Let’s chat. Human to Human, Woman to woman, because our path is unique in this world. Mother to mother even. Or, if we want to be very specific… Creative mother to creative mother.

I’m not angry, or honestly even that attached. Though I do appreciate you sparking thought and giving me a creative muse to write about.

Let’s not misunderstand each other though.

Making money “off someone” implies you didn’t voluntarily and eagerly put your card details in and “Give” me $9 to help solve a problem for you.

Perhaps you thought I would only be speaking on creativity.

Maybe you didn’t read my about page or take a look at my 133 articles about creativity, money, motherhood, and self inquiry.

Maybe you still believe the creative process and income making are mutually exclusive. So I’m really glad you brought this up. My literal job is to teach people that it’s NOT.

I work for mothers. This is my “job”.

I found a problem (Mothers thinking they need to abandon their multifaceted selves in order to make an income, or to abandon their dreams if someone else is making income. Or that they have to be a boss babe in hustle culture and abandon a slow and present attuned relationship with their kids. Or simply, mothers feeling depleted creatively and that they cannot find their feet or feel alive within.)

I got to work, unleveling my skills, self checking, becoming an embodiment of what I teach, reconditioning my own mind and life, learning facilitation skills, speaking skills, tech skills, marketing and social media skills, trial and error, many many failed attempts, many cringe moments, many successes, much refinement, much trust, hours of ceremony, hours of unlearning, hundreds of thousands of dollars invested…

So that I could technically, work FOR you. (and selfishly actually feel passionate about my work in this world)

To truly help you as mothers feel connected, alive, more liberated and free, creatively and in your dreaming, connected to intuition, while opening channels for resources if that is a part of your path.

Now, I do that well.

Typically, mothers do a lot of invisible unpaid work. That is an entire conversation and article that needs to come.

Typically, when you work, you get paid.
Typically if you want someone to work for you, you pay them.

I am not scared of this -

But I used to be, and maybe others can relate.

I used to martyr myself in my creativity, wondering why I could never find the time or have the energy to be creative because I was so busy giving my time and energy to a job I didn’t love and was not an expression of me. It sucked my passion.

I was willing to be paid for work I didn’t love? But scared to be paid for work I loved?

Or I was willing for my partner to go to work all day every day and be paid and he never be home, and I raise my children alone and disheveled and martyr within my home instead, all in the name of a dollar?

My dream is for people to simply do what they enjoy doing. If thats creating for arts sake, epic. If that’s quitting a job and going all in and turning art into an income stream (If you’ve been here a while you know that art is any creative endeavour, from podcasting, facilitating, coaching, music, photography, homemaking, social media - all of it.)

If fathers don’t enjoy their work and would prefer to be home with their families, I want to help that happen. I believe families together is so great for the family energetic field. I want mothers feeling lit the fuck up, and turned on by their lives.

Simple.

I thought.

(And also incredibly multilayered and there’s LOTS to unpack here, which we do both here on substack and in my deeper work with mothers)

Though not everyone is into it.

Some love that their creativity is a hobby with no pressure.

I GET IT

and same. For example I love needle felting, painting, making clay toys with Rafi… and I’ll never monetise any of those.

But here on substack, I write for those who can see that money is a tool.

I don’t make money “off people”.

People give me their money voluntarily if they can see that I am able to help provide solutions to their problems.

Making money off trying to show people how to make money being an endless cycle would imply that

firstly making money is bad (

Are we still here? Money isn’t a person. It does not have a moral compass. We, the humans, project ourselves into money. We humanise it. How money feels to YOU (Scarce, abundant, valuable, neutral, never enough, too much so must get rid of it, good, bad, right or wrong, greedy, evil, privileged, filled with choice, responsibility etc) is a HUMAN thing and also incredibly personal, incredibly cultural, and incredibly social.

It would imply that the only impact that is being made with my work is that I only make money of a promise that others will (maybe) make money.

That my work doesn’t change the lives of women creatively all the time, within their motherhood, their relationships, their income, their connection to themselves. Or imply that creativity is the only part of the money and creativity conversation that is impactful or important (While creatives are having to throw away their passions all the damn time because they need to prioritise putting food on the table).

That people are just having $9 ripped from their hands involuntary. It almost makes me giggle.

Guys, I’m being sassy and somewhat dramatic here because when we unpack it, it’s so obvious.

AND I’m wanting to let you in on my process here because how many of us don’t go two feet in, in our work because we are truly fearful of what others think?

That we hold "*their opinion and projection above our own multilayered, deeper truth. We feel we either need to respond with FIGHT energy, or we need to dilute and hide, retract our visibility because it no longer feels safe.

Part of my process over the years has been to find my middle ground.

See criticism.

Self reflect. Is any of it fair?

Sit in my truth, scan who I am, my journey, my message, my intentions.

If it’s fair, then shift my direction accordingly, or apologise if necessary.

If it’s not, then instead of diluting my message, Instead of being angry and need to self protect and fight…

I see that there has been a gap in what I’ve been trying to communicate and what’s been received by audience members.

I take it as an opportunity to educate, to become clearer in my message.

I then make sure I’m unattached to the individual. My work is for a larger group. There is literally no possible way I could shape myself to every individual persons needs. It’s important to keep a finger on the pulse of the needs of your community and, also, sometimes people leave your community because THEY realise that THEY may not actually be aligned with your life perspective and that’s okay. In fact, I celebrate it. I’d honestly rather they go where they feel more themselves anyway.

In the past, I’d go quiet, or I’d fight with passion.

Now, I self advocate.

It’s simple. I hold myself and them with compassion, and I make sure people get blocked if they are been actually rude or hurtful. Then I move on.

One thing I like to do when I receive any feedback that feels like a projection, after self assessing, is to evidence stack with feedback that feels supportive and empowering about the work I am doing in the world.
I know all of me is not for everyone, but much of me is for many.

Then I evidence stack my receipts rather than rereading negative feedback over and over.

Now look, I don’t actually mind if this woman unsubscribed, Like I said, I’m being sassy in this post here and there but I’m actually very unattached.

$9 is like a coffee and a half.

If we sat down for 90 minutes at a cute cafe,

had coffee,

and I listened to your dreams and then you let me share my perspective on how you could get there…

You’d walk away with something deep shifted. I know this. I know this because I’ve evidence stacked enough to know for sure.

I have done enough inner work around money to go from hating it,

recoiling, feeling tense, stressed

never checking my bank account etc

angry I couldn’t afford the lifestyle I wanted or to be able to donate to go fund me’s…

or to give to my parents, or to support my girlfriends in biz… to even not having been able to give people in my community opportunities to MAKE MONEY through me not just give me money…

(Celebrating paying out almost $20,000 AUD

to mothers in my community at the moment!

This was a dream I’ve had for the last decade, is to CIRCULATE resources into mother centric business.)

Then I had polarised into being TOO obsessed. Every thought was about healing a relationship with money…

To now, being neutral. Feeling confident in my ability to help others, and knowing it doesn’t have to be linked to self worth, It’s not linked to if you’re a good person.

It’s a tool for exchange value. Literally a bartering tool no different to swapping an apple for a pear if the perceived value was the same.

You only give it to me if you find value in what I share.

My goal, is to provide value to you.

I want to see more liberated families.

and

if you wouldn’t sit with me and have a coffee in a sunroom cafe filled with plants

then don’t pay for a subscription.
if you would - then consider.

Business is providing a solution to someones problem.

I’m not scared to make money working for people.

My intention with this substack space is to doula you through your own “stuff” about sales, marketing, creativity, motherhood, “martyr”hood, money, time, quantum physics, neuroscience, structures, beliefs, paradigms that don’t actually serve YOU in the life YOU are dreaming of.

I ask my community often, what IS your edgy dream? I had over 300 responses the last time I asked that question. The answers were stunning. Delicious. A cauldron of pure magic and a collective energy of fire under the pot burning all that is in the way of those dreams.

Though there were many that had the dream of being able to just be with the kids, sip warm tea, grow their own food. Many still, even in that dream, lived in a different location, felt different in their relationships, partners were home, family was together, community was vibrant, and nervous systems were relaxed enough to actually receive that life. Not to mention there was rarely mention of going to a job. There was some desire for passion and service based business but in most dreams they felt free- free of financial stress, free to do what they please. Travel, do home projects, create, whatever.

Those dreams are SIMPLE.

The dream is not to make a million dollars.

But most of us do need money and resources to bring much of this to fruition.

I truly truly hope that by being a part of this community of mother makers, YOU also realise that your solutions for others should be paid for too. Not always. It’s important to be able to hold space in our offerings for accessibility when appropriate and create opportunities for people who need it. But make sure you’re financially cared for so that you CAN give, without burnout. Because then you’ll be giving to nobody.

I want you to know that you are more than worthy to make money from your passion (IF you want to) and there is honestly nothing wrong with it. That we can collectively face this ickiness around sales and money and nobility and apparent “morality” head on. Uncover our shadows and shit around it and just all get into a more thriving life with resources, and do our own reconditioning work so we can circulate resources(time, money, services etc) within our communities and lift each other up.

Isn’t it so much more stunning when we circulate our resources through our communities and support each other and the solutions we can offer each other, rather than refusing to pay people we know, and just going to the big corporations instead???

The starving artist era ended alongside the industrial era.

We are in the digital age and anything is possible now.

I don’t believe you NEED money to be happy or to thrive.

You don’t need money to be a good person,

But money can amplify your life and offer choices where perhaps before their weren’t.

If you can open channels of income for your family, that feel nourishing.

DO IT.

I believe if we want our work to go far and wide, we will inevitably have people who don’t understand, cannot accept, or will project and judge your work. There IS an element of responsibility here but do not disregard part of that responsibility is to advocate for yourself too. To know the work you’ve put in behind the scenes and back yourself.

Before I go, next week I’ll be sharing an article about a recent $98,000 month I just had. This is after 9 years of working minimum wage jobs and scraping by, and then 9 years of choosing a more entrepreneurial journey. I am taking you behind the scenes of my intuitive launch and my process with a more soulful style of business, as a mother. In a way that felt nourishing, nervous system regulating and did not require me to hustle away from my family all day. In a way that let me circulate education, money and attention through my community of mother makers, and then their families and beyond.

My intention with this post is to breath possibility out into the world. I am a very transparent person, though this post feels incredibly intimate for me and will only be available to my paying community here on substack.

Right now, to subscribe to my work here as a paying subscriber and have access to over 133 articles, and moving forward, guest speakers, podcast episodes and more exclusive content outside of what I offer for free…

It’s a $9aud a month subscription. Taking me to coffee. This is by far my most affordable offer.

HOWEVER before this post next week, I will be increasing my subscription price as substack is evolving and changing and I need to reflect that and the time and transparency I put into it here.

Anyone who is ALREADY subscribed will KEEP the current price of $9 ongoing.

This will not change.

So I do invite you, to upgrade your subscription now rather than later if this is resonating with you.

Lots of love,

Kat

Hope that essay had something golden in it for you, and if so, I’d love to hear it.

Leave a comment

You can upgrade your subscription via email or on desktop (Not through the app unfortunately)

and come and join the inner circle of mother makers.

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If you enjoyed this, you may enjoy:

Never standing on the driveway with his cowboy hat, wearing bright red dragon wings that glimmer in the late afternoon sun, and a big long dragon tail that knocks over everything in its path. He’s oblivious to the small trail of destruction behind him.

He’s a dragon. It’s as simple as that.

Never again, will he be almost five, grooving in the bedroom to pull toy that sings a lullaby from 40 years ago, while holding a little stuffed kangaroo called “Kangy.”

Eyes closed, knees bent and slowly bopping to the rhythm in slow motion. Letting each tune fill his little body.

In his own world, not in mine.

In his experience.

A pure one. Not altered due to observation.

He doesn’t yet see himself through the eyes of those around him.

He’s almost there.

At the developmental stage where self awareness kicks in and he will be forever changed after that point.

He will have to fight from then on to come back to himself and his own internal experience of life. He will have to hold the duality of how his actions, words… or dragon tail can impact others while also clawing back to the innocence of dancing in the bedroom with his eyes shut feeling those tunes.

Some days it breaks my heart.
Not that he’s growing up,

But that one day soon he will no longer be almost five. Where the world is safe and pure. Where other opinions of him don’t yet matter to him. He’ll be a grown man yearning for that space of childlike innocence once again.

Right now he sits for hours and makes art.
He’s not trying to make good art yet.

Not pretty art.

Not desirable art.

He’s not yet attempting to change the world with his art.

Just change his own world.

Just scribbling rainbows and robots with poo on their head because he likes to.

Sticking them up on his wall because he is proud.

The gift of having children is they begin to raise us all over again.

This time differently.

As we assess our own parenting and attune to their needs,

We begin to subtlety and often not so subtly attune to our own.

Or at the very least realise we need to.

We can only go on for so long as mothers disregarding that we have, not only survival needs like eating lunch or going to the bathroom when we need to…

We then acknowledge we have emotional needs and creative needs.

We have a need to feel alive and connected.

Our children make or break this. We typically blame having children for our ability to honour our needs, and in my humble opinion - If anything, they should be the very reason we take a stand for our needs.

Mothers who are alive and connected, teach children that aliveness is worth claiming.

It’s essential for a fulfilled life.

It’s like our kids can sense it in us,

or at least - Rafi can.

He knows when I’ve tried too hard on a drawing.

He’s brutally honest and tells me he doesn’t like it.

I personally thought my scenery of lush green hills and a little home was nice. I put a rainbow overtop for him because I know he loves rainbows.

I like it because it makes sense.

He doesn’t like it because it’s not innocent.

He just wonders why the hills aren’t orange like fire.
He wonders where the dragon castle is.

Mainly why there isn’t poo on the rainbow.

Of course.
Here I am, attempting creativity with a child. The master of creativity.

Why be realistic when you can be wild?

Why draw green hills, when on this paper, hills can be absolutely any colour, and also any shape.

Why follow the rules when this is the one safe place to go rogue.

See, children are innocent.

Over time innocent morphed into meaning “Not guilty” or “Naive”,

though when you trace the thread through it’s weavings back to the words original “Spell”ing,

Innocens

In - “Without”

Nocens - “Harm, Hurt”

In latin, innocens means “Not harming, harmless”

In old French, innocent means “Pure”

In Middle English, innocent means “Free from guilt, or moral wrong”.

To me, innocence means purity of a childlike heart.

Innocence is an intuitive embodiment. It’s not intended, it is simply their natural sate.

(Unless trying to wheel and deal a treat, and even then, most childhood “Manipulation” is done with a foundation of innocence. Of course he wants the yummy thing. He’s four.)

Innocence is the ability to see without judgement.

Act without hesitation.

Play.

Stay Curious.

Innocence with our creative process IS our superpower.

It’s not to say we don’t refine skills, edit, and attempt to learn and grow.

It’s that our draft copy - of life, or of creative pursuit, MUST come from innocence.

aka

From purity, from no harm.

From our curiosity and childlike heart.

Innocence is not reserved for children.

It is our natural state too.

Before we began observing ourselves through the eyes of others.

Before we found ourselves walking the line of being in our own experience while witnessing it through the perceived perspective of those around us - which is also, simply our own perspective of them and often not accurate in itself.

We were innocent before we began moulding and shifting our voice, our words, our thoughts to blend into the illusion of normal, or palatable, or what is deemed “good enough” by someone else who is likely very hell bent on being perceived as good enough themselves.

We were innocent before we were told we had to overanalyse, perfect, and always try our best. (Could we try our worst? Would that be fun?)

Before we began to squeeze the life out of our creative process, suffocate it, dry it up and then wonder why it doesn’t “hit the spot” anymore.

We look around and hope that we squeezed it into the perfect shape,

You know,

the shape that is just enough, not too much, not too little. Not too confrontational, enough to enjoy. Enough to get that green tick of approval.

We look around waiting for someone to say “good job for squeezing your creation so much it can no longer breathe.” That nod of approval, being the only breath of oxygen we’ve been yearning for. Almost passing out in our pursuit of creating through the eyes of everyone but ourselves.

The eyes of everything but innocence.

The more adult I become, (am I the only cusp millennial that’s feeling like I have to remind myself I am actually an adult with free will? That I cannot keep waiting for a more adult adult to tell me what to do?)

The more I realise those who I had once craved to see me, to acknowledge my gifts, to give me some sort of nod of approval… were actually people who were caged within their own rules of how they thought they should be based on their own networks.

I stopped craving approval from those who were too “Professional”, even when their skills were top tier.

I stopped waiting to be seen by others,

and instead craved deeply to be seen by myself.

If and when I did want to be seen within a community - Which of course is part of our human nature, to be acknowledged and witnessed in ourselves.

(Because - humanity, connection, intimacy… ya know.)

Then I made an oath to only desire to be witnessed by those who are committed to their creative process within themselves. Those who remain in their innocence.

Are some writers off the top of my head that remind me of innocence.

I only wanted to feel seen by those who could recognise when I remain in my own innocence.

Rafi, my almost five year old, is the first one I turn to now.

He knows when I’m in my innocence.

Children keep us young. Not in our youth, but in our mind. In our play. In our curiosity with life.

To the mothers who are building a business or creative project right now,

this is your invitation to reconnect with innocence. With play.

With presence and to reengage being in your own experience of life.

Cut the threads that are pulling your energy into comparison or what others are thinking of you.

(Yes, actually cut those threads. Jump into the comments if you’d like me to share a cord cutting ritual so that you can reclaim your energy.)

Look to our children. They are our teachers.

Lot’s of love, Kat

If you enjoyed this, please share with those you believe could benefit from this message.

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When do you know you are in your innocence? When do you know that you are no longer connected to that thread?

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If you’re new here, Hi, I’m Kat. I write for the mother makers. The witchy mothers who are dancing with business, motherhood, intuition, magic and creative process.

We are creating a thriving symposium for the mother makers and you are absolutely, without a doubt, invited to come play.

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If you enjoyed this, then you’ll definitely enjoy THIS.

This week we had cyclone warnings in our home town.

Sir Alfred making his way down the coast and predicted to hit our front door.

We looked around at our tiny house and contemplated our desire to sit through a category 2 cyclone in our little glass box, potentially flooded roads in and out, and two kids with big wild energy… and figured it would be 10/10 more fun to kiss the tiny house goodbye, hope for the best, and hit the road up the coast to chase the sunshine.

After narrowly missing a large car accident involving us and two semi trailer trucks going at 110km p/h, I felt as though the concept of quantum immortality may actually be a thing, and I had, in fact just jumped timelines to keep on living my life… we ended up in a tiny little coastal bush town called Agnes Water and 1770. Captain James Cook must have been feeling lazy by this point and figured it’s best to name a town after the year he found it rather than “Eden Beach” or something more appropriate to the beauty of this place.

We had days of sunshine and Raf (almost 5) learned to surf for the first time. We are walking around sandy and salty, while watching disaster strike friends further south (feeling lucky Sir Alfred missed our tiny, but unfortunately hit friends south of Brisbane/ gold coast/ the Northern Rivers harder).

This leads me to a conversation around Duality, choice and both-ness.

I’m interested in taking you along with some of the conversations occurring within my Art of Alchemy program right now -

If you’re new here, or wanting to be updated on the evolution of this substack space for the Mother Makers… my intention is for this to truly become (and is already becoming) a community hub for the Witchy mamas, who like to make money, be creative, be attuned to their kids, and want to smoosh all the multifaceted intuitive parts of themselves together rather than existing in boxes. Many think I talk about the creative process and soulful business - But if you’re still separating creativity from sex, Money from your relationships, and parenting from your ideas and business… then I’m extra glad you’re here.

My program is in full swing, having just completed week two where we dived into quantum physics.

One aspect of this conversation that came up with the hundreds of mothers working with me right now - is the confusion that can come from having a pretty good life - so how on earth do you reach for more without guilt, without shame, or without pressure.

I had one mama open a question around her partner being a provider right now and wants her to take a look around how good a simple life is - and that they don’t need to go after bigger dreams together. He can’t understand why on earth she may want more, because what they have is beautiful.

And yet… The womb swirls.

The vortex pulses.

Because she knows- there is more to this experience.

But does wanting more, disregard what you have? How do we create space for both?

Because let me tell you right now-

The first chapter of this story is truly, deep in your bones, with every breath moving past the ribcage, with every hip sway - swirling the energy of your womb… Is knowing that you can live within the duality of both.

Of loving your life as it is right now.

and

Calling more from it, calling it’s evolution. Calling in the human experience.

It’s not greedy.

You are not being ungrateful.

You are not asking for too much.

You are not in split focus.

If anything you are moving past barriers many women have had forever.

The idea that you are limited in desire, limited in your ability to request for what you want - or even limited in your allowance of “wants” in the first place.

Need less.

Be less.

Be more digestible.

Easy to handle.

You know this path.

- No, this isn’t about to be a hardcore feminist speech, but we are going to unpack why we limit ourselves not only as women, but as mothers… and some practical ways to begin allowing ourselves to dream differently…

therefore move differently in our lives.

with a bit more “aliveness” in our pelvic bowl,

and lead ourselves while open to opportunity.

Let’s begin. ..

Hello friends, If you are a paying subscriber as part of our Mother Maker community, you can continue reading below. For anyone new here - Hi and welcome. This is a paywall, which means the remainder of this post and other paywalled posts are only available to the inner circle of the mother makers. I absolutely invite you to upgrade your subscription because everyone is invited to be a part of the inner circle (Via email or desktop version, not able to do it through the app). You are more than welcome to play in this space for free and have access to free articles which come out monthly - but those who want to be a part of the inner circle and receive MORE intimate conversations, MORE regularly and have MORE quality- are currently paying a 9aud month members fee. This is by far our most affordable offering. Soon the monthly fee will be increasing but all those at this current rate will keep this price point moving forward.

Come and be with the mother makers xx

Love Kat

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I have filled this post to the brim with both philosophical and practical perspectives on success as an entrepreneur and creative. I write this as a creative and entrepreneurial mother who has felt not only emotional and spiritual success in these realms but also generated hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars through an intuitively guided relationship to creativity.

If you don’t have space to read right now, set a reminder on your phone and come back once the kids are asleep, with a cup of tea and enjoy!

Love Kat.

I woke up and read through a big creator on the internet last year.

The general interpretation was about “why your book won’t be read by many” or essentially why you can’t expect to be a “fluke” successful creative, some get lucky with big deals and big publishing/marketing strategies. The rest of us, settle for the fulfilment of getting our words at the very least, out of our head. Our offerings, onto paper. Serving a handful of people in our communities through our work.

The article, though very well written and researched… had me feeling, kinda dull.

The sort of dull you feel when you‘ve consumed something that isn’t in resonance with your body or your knowing.

I could appreciate her “realism” and essentially helping people come back into their lane as a writer or creative and enjoying the process of the word, rather than striving for a big break so to speak.

Though, honestly, I much prefer optimism. There’s a lot of “heady” stuff out there in the world. But I prefer to play with spirit when it comes to our creative endeavours.

** Before we begin, I need to pop in here really quickly to tell you that there is only 2.5 DAYS LEFT until The Art Of Alchemy doors close - Forever.
This is my signature LIVE 12 week journey for the mother makers into the energetic worlds of business and creativity, and embracing a mother centric approach to business (No girl boss hustle culture here).

These perspectives are leading a new way for mothers where we don’t have to bend into patriarchal culture, and don’t have to abandon our motherhood to be taken seriously.

We can stay connected to intuition, spirit, and creativity while bringing our offerings to the world.

I am NOT running this course again. This is our *stunning* last dance with over 100 mothers in this round alone.

If you haven’t prioritised taking a look at the landing page and full module write up - now is the time. There are payment plans available if you decide you do want to grab your broomstick and meet us at the cauldron.

Love Kat

So I’d love to write about being a creative today. Especially if a part of your dream is to have a career as a creative (And no, I don’t mean the arts. To me, being a podcaster, a coach, an author, an artist, a event creator, a yogi, a musician, a therapist, entrepreneur, a workshop or circle facilitator… or any profession that requires creative and out of the box thinking, and rendezvousing with the intelligence of creative energy.)… how to help that happen for yourself rather than waiting for that fantasy of a “big break”.

Whether you’re a writer, an artist, a musician, an entrepreneur, a space crafter, home maker, whatever is your form.

Most of us do it because we love it.

Because we have to.

Because we feel kinda dead inside when we don’t.

We write because we’d go insane with words spinning in our minds.

We sing because it’s cathartic.

We paint otherwise we can’t see beyond the picture in our minds eye.

If anything many of our creative pursuits are initially selfish. It’s a way of self preservation. Pulling something from inside of us, kinda sorta making sense of it, then out and into reality.

It’s a process that can be addictive, deep, reflective and also often simply fun and liberating.

I don’t just see being a creative as the arts. Though growing up I did. I was told also that if you surrender your life to the arts… you’ll likely be broke.

The starving artist.

As an adult I absolutely see how business, hosting events, curating a course, public speaking, crafting an experience, can all be creative pursuits if done in the energy of a creative. Anything we do, when done with artistry, is this.

Today I’ll speak more to the arts, but know that there is space for many in the world of a creative. Simply replace the words you need to, to help it be more relevant to you.

The starving artist- an archetype built from decades ago, when perhaps, it WAS more realistic to get a reliable job for income and keep the art as a hobby. “Don’t quit your day job” and “keep your head in the real world.” Artistic success, was for the lucky few who could actually get paid to live into this self expression. Often picked up by someone who spotted talent, or got some sort of big break.

I wholeheartedly believe that the starving artist archetype does NOT have to exist in todays world. Where social media exists, or even just the internet alone, there are so many ways for financial resources to find artists. So many more people generating income, who also value art. Ways to reach people like NEVER before. Art, in many ways- is seen as a valid choice instead of a pipe dream (if you connect in with the right community and evironments…)

HOWEVER I do also believe many creatives are still living in an old paradigm of art. Where there’s a romanticism about the grind. A secret fantasy that someone important, some where, will find what we create and send it out into the world for us, So that we can get paid to make art. Or be seen in out greatness.

That someone - somewhere may save us, from the starvation that we’ve subscribed to, The self sacrifice of the secret selfish artist. That someone else will simply come along and validate what we do, because to journey our inner worlds, and validate it ourselves, and choose to be seen, & put our creations out there fully- feels like a lot.

Look, I’m with you on the fantasies of sitting in a big beautiful lake house one day, pouring my coffee, bare feet on the floor, sitting at my laptop and writing, uninterrupted, for hours. Being in my creative genius. God, it turns me on.

Perhaps yours is in a sunroom filled with flowers with your canvas, Or on stage in front of thousands at private garden gig, singing the words of your heart.

And you know what - I don’t believe they are fantasies. Not for a second do I think they need to remain at the bottom of the pipe dream basket.

The very essence of BEING a creative is also the essence of being attuned to the possibility.That’s the optimism right? The ability to dream ourselves into a vision, and close the gap…

Though I don’t think that someone else will take us there entirely, there is absolutely always that potential if we throw ourselves into the arena. It’s a co creation, With our vision for ourselves as a creative, Our willingness to work with and pivot with the identity of an artist. Our faith in the spirit of our work, trusting our journey, dancing with our ability to make bad art, and our intentions for success and what that means to each of us personally & our relationship to that process.

So, This article I was reading, rooted in realism, I genuinely throw no shade towards. I do believe parts of realism towards the creative success it right. I agree with her speaking into that many of us “artists” will never be successful in the sense of making millions. But the reason I agree with that is because many artists aren’t interested in turning their art into a career. They are more that happy to keep it as a hobby, a wind down, a self processing, an expression, a fun exploration.

Some, maybe want to cover their rent and bills so that they can do said hobby more often without the weird world of “jobs” and “surviving” taking over their creative process.

And some, like me - want to build a career through their art. Though… many of us who want that… still won’t make it happen for ourselves. Perhaps it’s a fear of

I’d love to share my take on why that is, and what you can do about it so that you have a better chance at finding your way there.

I’ve made hundreds of thousands ($) within my creative processes over the years AND I’ve made art simply for arts sake. I’ve given art for free and I’ve been paid for it. Sometimes in the form of paintings, or writings, poetry or photos. Sometimes in the way I teach and share, in the way I’ve curated spaces and experiences for people. In the way I homemake and especially in the way I mother.

The first shift I had to have, in cultivating a creative career…

(which is evolving and changing all the time. It’s a beautiful process and honestly, one I feel proud of and excited to be apart of)

Was admitting to myself That I actually wanted to have a creative career, and that my writing or my art in whatever form - wasn’t just a hobby or a fantasy or a self exploration.

I wanted it Badly.

Not desperately, But it lit my insides up more than anything else, And my job was to follow that pull.

I even had to admit this after 20K launches… still treating things like a hobby.

It also scared me more than anything else because, well, art is vulnerable. It’s vulnerable because we infuse ourselves into it like letting the loose leaf tea sit in the pot, all my colours go into it. My flavours throughout. It was also scary because VALUING being an artist/ writer/ creative in a world that really, genuinely doesn’t….. is raw.

It’s why I love a home like Substack.

Where writers come because they value it and everyone else comes to read and hang out because they do too. Like a buzzing coffee shop filled with creatives. Bookshelves filled with quality, open couches and quiet corners, and the other end of the room, tabled filled with creatives chatting on collaborations or simply hyping each other up because theres a resonance. Readers getting a chance for more intimate encounters with stories they love. There’s a safety here.

Here’s something I wrote On may 17th, 2021. Almost 4 years ago.

“Today I was asked on two occasions what I do for work.

The first time, I stumbled in my mind for a hot second as "I work in the self development space and with relationships" is no longer where I'm at....

I was about to reply "oh well, nothing right now. Full time mum life."

But I was interrupted by a screaming son of mine as he fast approached a set of steps and I ran after him.

In between the first time and second time I wondered if I could say I'm a writer yet. Like, what counts as a writer?

I mean, I write every single day, I love it, it's something I can't not do.... I've not published a book, but I also make my own rules so, I decided next time someone asked, l'd say I'm a mother AND I'm a writer. It made me sweaty to think about.

Of course, I was asked again, only 5 minutes later. I started with mother.

Writer still got stuck on my tongue and before it left my mouth she BEAMED and said "OH! So you're a director of humanity, raising the next generation"

With a sparkle in her eye.

I like that.

Director of humanity.

Mother. First and foremost.

The biggest job I've ever been blessed with * and one where socks and burks with trackies are the dress code”

I wanted to share it with you because four years ago it felt incredibly uncomfortable to claim myself outside of motherhood. I had willingly let go of a lot of my work and career from my pre-motherhood days, and I so, so badly wanted to KNOW MYSELF as an artist/writer/creative.

I went offline for 6 weeks at the time and read every book on creativity and artistry I could find. Alongside podcasts and just let myself sink into the identity of that, without expectations… or eyes on me.

It was a mid twenties life crisis.

Though one I welcomed. It was during that time, I claimed myself as an artist. As a writer more specifically.

Which has me wanting to discuss the point of identity when it comes to being an artist.

A creative. Whatever “yours” is.

Have you claimed it for yourself?

I AM a …… *fill in the blank*

Especially from the energy of a career - if that’s what you want.

If someone were to ask you, would it get stuck on your tongue or flow naturally. Would it cause a tightening in your body, and have the little voice in the back of your mind panic as if you’ve told a lie and are about to be found out?

This, I believe is a HUGE aspect in crafting a creative career, Because if we can’t even admit what we want and who we are we’ll stay starving. This is a shift that is required of us. It can take time. But once you can feel settled in the fact that you’re a writer, an artist, a creative, BOTH publicly and privately, Only THEN do you truly begin to embody that and move a career forward.

I ask myself often If I took my art seriously, what would I do? What would my next step be.

If I really believed in my writing, How far would I go?

Am I waiting to be saved? How am I willing to show up for my career? Because it’s different when it’s a hobby compared to when it’s something that you want to be your legacy, a way to thrive in this world… Here were some of my personal reflections. Yours may be different.

If I took my art seriously, I’d claim it. I’d let people know me as a writer even if I’ve never shown anyone. Though I’d also… show people. I’d work through my discomfort of being seen and judged. Because if I took my art seriously, I’d take myself seriously. And if I take myself seriously others would too. It’s as though they can sense the wobbles… If I’m not firmly two feet on the ground with this. But they can sense my sturdiness of knowing who I am and what I do, If I let myself root into the ground.

If I really believed in my writing, I’d leave behind the archetype of the starving artist. I’d face off with my judgements of selling. Of promoting, And get real with the fact that it’s simply a part of life now. We sell ourselves or we sell someone else. It’s simple. I’d expand my skill set, I’d learn new ways. I’d take the time to learn a new platform (like Substack for example) And let myself SINK INTO the newness of learning and expanding. If I believed in my writing, and was willing to show up for my career…. I’d write, each day. Even just notes. I’d insert myself into the writing community, Confidently, and be ready to be a student. I’d watch and wittness what others do, not to replicated but to observe. I’d listen to those I have resonance with. I’d challenge myself. I’d network. A lot. I’d build connections and MAKE myself KNOWN within the community. I would not settle I would not stay in quiet creation. I’d trust the journey and remove expectations.

My art, at its core, is mine And I know that. I’d wake up each day and do it anyway.

I’d allow next steps to whisper to me. I’d follow the nudges. I’d trust that my art/ and my career as an artist Has a life of its own. I am part of that co creation. So I’d show up and do the thing. I’d use my creative mind to find other ways of having my art reach people. Find ways to collaborate, there are many paths to Rome. There are also many ways on each path I could try. I’ll try them all. I’d find ways to expand, to also - very importantly HAVE FUN.

Our identity as an artist is important.

I’m the sort of artist who______ fill in the blank with what naturally comes to mind.

Then when you envision the version of you who is fully embodied in their creative career, receiving opportunities, being known, stealing quiet moments, or indulging in spacious ones, to create, having the life force pulse through…

When you envision THAT version…. Do they say the same thing?

I’m the sort of artist who____

Or do they say something else?

For me it was originally

I’m the sort of artist who makes art for fun

I’m the sort of artist who enjoys other peoples art

I’m the sort of artists who doesn’t like asking to be paid

I’m the sort of artist who is above other artists because I am willing to do art for arts sake and don’t do it for others (lollll)

I’m the sort of artist who needs another job

I’m the sort of artist who doesn’t have time for my art.

I’m the sort of artist who doesn’t totally take it seriously.

I’m the sort of artist who doesn’t follow through.

Though the version of myself in my mind who has become a successful writer (in a bougee cottage in the Italian countryside perhaps?) She says

I’m the sort of artist who prioritises time to create and make and write.

I’m the sort of artist who has strong boundaries around ideas, stays committed to the bigger vision and can easily avoid distraction

I’m the sort of artist who gets involved in the creative community, feels valued for my voice there and connected with other creatives

I’m the sort of artist who both teaches and learns at the same time

I’m the sort of artist who stays in my own lane, connected to my own vision and enchanted by my own work.

I’m the sort of artist who gets paid incredibly well to show up in my genius.

I’m the sort of artist who feels acknowledged for her work, time, energy and effort.

I’m the sort of artist who is willing to make bad art, and trust the process into my best work.

I’m the sort of artist who confidently can say to anyone “I’m a writer, author, and creative” to anyone who would ask.

How does that feel in the body? It’s worth writing out your own lists too. See if there’s a gap. Ask yourself and your vision, What do you ask of me to help close that gap.

I find that a crucial part of this puzzle is being held in a community that believe in you.
Whether that be in person or online. It’s important to make the effort to put yourself in there. I say in there, not out there, because we could throw ourselves “out there” into a group of anyone and everyone, or we could throw ourselves “in there” to a very specific group of people who already value what we have made.

Otherwise we get bound by the expectations others have of us, If their values aren’t aligned And we’ve lived into those expectations for long enough, It can feel “too big” to change.

We are required to change when we want our lives to change.

So, Stop waiting to be a “real artist” “real writer” “real photographer/musician/creative” etc Because the SECOND you create art and truthfully, even when you’re not creating art… you ARE a real XYZ. You are valid, It’s already you

But you must reflect on if you simply want it for yourself, or as a hobby, or as a career. And be clear on what “success as an artist” means for you. It’s so wildly different for us all.

Decide Then claim

Then begin living into that version of yourself.

Another helpful process in the embodiment of an artist for me was acknowledging all the ways in which I was a creative, rather than just the career side.

The way I mother

The way I make love

The way I homemake

The way I think

The way I problem solve

The way I channel ideas for others

The way I move my body when I dance Etc

The more evidence I stacked up that I was a creative woman, that artistry was simply how I lived my life….. The more I believed I could ALSO create a thriving career as an artist because it was simply who I was, not just what I did.

I do believe, to some extent That we also have to remove ourselves from our art. Almost like a three part process

Acknowledge the vulnerability of art BECAUSE it comes from within us.

Claim the artist, the thriving artist, BECAUSE WE CAN and the world has changed, and there is SO much available to us here.

Then SET IT ALL FREE, and separate ourselves FROM our art.

The book you wrote, came from you but is not you.

The song you sing was birthed from your heart, though exists in the world beyond you now.

We have to do this because we, inevitably grow and change, a lot.

If we feel too linked to what we make, the second we feel like we’ve outgrown it, We can feel embarrassed by it, or like we need to remove it as it’s not an accurate representation of who we are now.

Our art is not a representation of who we are, It is a time stamp, a moment in time where we were working with ourselves, creatively exploring. We made something. Birthed it in the world. We, the human being, moved on.

Like birthing a child. They are not us, though they came from us. We can be proud of who they are and we will never be the exact woman who birthed them. Instead, we grow and change and morph. We wittness them with love.

The way we martyr

The way we cling

The way we helicopter parent

The way we amesh

The way we disconnect or over connect

Can all be reflected in our artistic expressions also and our relationships to our creativity. The same expectations we hold for ourself as mothers is OFTEN mirrored in the expectations we hold for ourselves as creatives. Isn’t it interesting.

The realism of being a creative is that not everyone will make money doing so.

But that’s not the problem - as many know that’s not their path to walk.

For those who strive for creative careers, please, Don’t wait for a publishing company to say yes. But apply anyway.

Don’t wait for a scout to see your talent as you busk, but reach out and pitch yourself anyway,

Don’t wait for a brand to ask you for a collaboration for your drawings, but network and share you ideas anyway.

Don’t wait for someone to see your gifts before you see it for yourself, but still show people anyway.

Stand in the embodiment of a creative. You are you. And you make art. Yes, You co-create with a vision. Dance with it. Have fun with it. Let it guide you. Show up for it.

know that it’s part of your job to flirt with possibility and claim it for yourself.

That your journey may be a slow burn or may be a wild fire. Stay in your lane. Let your creative pursuits morph with you. Don’t cling to only, financial success but reconnect with the devotion of the artist to her craft. The obsession. The delicious inquiry. Find people. Network. Confidently place yourself in environments that are relevant and see you. FIND people who are doing what you want to be doing and learn from them, talk to them, and translate it for your own self. Connect with yourself, your vulnerability and make true art. That comes from your stories, your mashup of experiences and spirit and soul. Trust that some of your art just wants to be made. Some of it wants to be paid.

Face off with limiting stories and identities that keep you fearful of being an artist and birthing new worlds. Be seen. Be IN your Enjoyment. Art can make others uncomfortable, Do it anyway. Enrol others into your vision. Share it boldly. Involve your community into your process. Grow with them.

Lots of love Kat

PS Don’t forget to go check out The Art Of Alchemy Before doors close! We start on Thursday (AUSTRALIA TIME)

If you found this helpful, please consider sharing it with those in your community x

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Hello hello!

I’m writing to you from my green velvet couch. I just spent the last half an hour breastfeeding while simultaneously trying not to pee myself. It’s an expensive couch.

Being nap trapped has expanded my inner capacity to hold discomfort in many ways. This being one.

The other is that I want to make and create when my children sleep.

Often I can’t.

I need to sit with the tension of desire and timing and find comfort within the discomfort of no longer being able to act the second I have energy to act.

This is the dance of creativity and motherhood.

But today’s letter is not on creative tension (though an incredibly juicy and worthy topic in itself).

Today, Is a bit of real talk - because I’m bleeding.

When I bleed, I self censor less. I am honest more.

Today calls for some honesty.

The reason you’re not making money,

Or not freeing up your time as a resource even though you have back to back clients,

or the reason you don’t feel free in your work yet,

or the reason you’re always so damn creatively blocked and feeling stagnant,

or the reason you feel like inspiration has been singlehandedly avoiding you.

Just you. Nobody else.

Or the reason you feel like no matter how much you try to market yourself, nobody see’s you.

Or that your work is going unnoticed and it’s exhausting….

Or the reason why you’re addicted to creative chaos rather than building something sustainable and true…

Is actually YOU.

I know. Sort of brutal, but stay with me here.

See, in cancel culture and in the world of doing inner child healing,

It would be better of me to say that it’s not actually you.

Sometimes these things happen.

It’s circumstantial.

It’s nobody’s fault.

In the world of radical responsibility, I’d say - it’s entirely up to you and your own shortcomings are totally yours to hold all on your own.

But that’s not it either.

What if we didn't need to polarise into hardcore self acceptance OR hardcore self responsibility.

What if there was more of a middle ground we could play in, that has room for less shame and judgement and instead more liberation.

I am sure you’ve heard others speak into how our businesses are actually 80% an inside job. It’s the energetics.

The 20% is skill, strategy, timing and capacity.

But has anyone actually broke down the 80% for you?

The 20%

The success of your business can lean on strategy. Maybe some healthy hustle culture. “Getting it done”. Overriding your body intelligence in order to hit goals (Personally not an advocate for this but I see it time and time again in the old age of business). Strategy can look like Facebook ads, YouTube or nailing social media. It can look like thriving email lists, and back end structures of websites, SEO, marketing, branding shoots, affiliates, the works.

*Some of these things ARE important, and what you mostly see in the business world is people going all in on the 20%, then realising they are a shell of a person, wondering why they are stuck in the same loops, lacking fulfilment and sustenance… so they go through a mini life crisis, do some mushrooms, burn it to the ground and try to start again from a more wholesome internal world.

The 80%

This is where the magic actually is.

This is your relationship to creativity as an intelligence beyond ourselves that we are in co-creation with.

This is understanding how our nervous system attracts and rejects experiences based on what it assumes is safe or unsafe… and sometimes, success feels unsafe. This is our ability to decipher if we are about to sabotage or if it’s actually the correct decision. Fear or Intuition.

This is unpacking the parts of us still being motivated by making mum and dad proud… or the haters proud, and instead connecting with our authentic dreams. The process of this includes deconstructing societal and cultural conditioning around who we think we are, and what we think we want.

Are you who you are? Or are you a product of your current and past circumstance, your environment, your community, the borrowed beliefs of what is possible from others. Can you acknowledge you’re a goldfish in a glass bowl, knowing you can only grow to the size of your habitat.

Is it “Just who you are”, and your “Personality”, or is it simply who you’ve been conditioned to be? Would a new identity, slipping it on like a new dress, making sure it fits snug and comfortably, be enough to shift the way you show up in your life and therefore the opportunities that present to you?

The 80% is your relationship to social media, rather than attempts for viral reels. It’s your ability to be vulnerable and let others in, curating true and honest community.

It’s not just being vulnerable, but being able to hold yourself in vulnerability while simultaneously allowing others in.

It’s your ability to sit with yourself, in the limbo, in the discomfort.

To sit in creative tension and trust it’s unfolding. To trust the initiations that are taking place in the unseen worlds, calling you forward and only in hindsight can you connect the dots.

The 80% is understanding how sexuality, creativity, and aliveness work together not apart, all strands of the same hair on the same head, being braided in parts.

Or how your relationship with you husband/wife/partner is impacting how you show up in your work and the clarity you have to create anything new.

Or how your kids needing you, and your never claiming time for yourself is actually a self worth and belief issue, not a “I have kids and no time” issue.

It’s knowing how your ideas guide you and that you not only need to open up an energetic channel with them to listen, but also an energetic contract to make it a fair collaboration. But if you have a witch wound in your lineage and have hidden your voice, your intuition or your own inner guidance system… then connecting with your ideas and claiming those dreams or visions out loud… may feel like you are about to die.

It’s unpacking starving artist energy, starving mother, starving… martyr.

It’s about understanding the tension and patterning behind money, and all the projections we place on a tool that could help us. Though instead we strangle and suffocate it, we beg for it, pray for it, get rid of it quicker than it arrives, we judge having it, we judge not having it, we grip so tightly to it that it cannot move freely circulating our lives or in the lives of our communities.

It’s facing off with addictions to busyness, hustle culture, patriarchal structures within a capitalist society that want you to be a cog in the damn machine, and reconnecting to your soul and spirit. This takes time. Years even, or a mushroom ceremony perhaps.

It’s understanding addictions to overwhelm, or lack of clarity, addictions to starting but never finishing, addictions to editing your website 20 times but never posting the fucking reel.

Addictions to posting the reels, and never setting up structures to support your vision.

Addictions to doing it all yourself and then wondering why being a mother in business can feel so damn lonely and confusing.

It's shining the light on how the way that YOU were born set up a pattern of “life” within you that now is on repeat in everything you try to breathe “life” into.

Your ideas are birthed in the same ways.

Is this working for you?

Is your dreaming process anchored in escapism? Or grounded knowing? Are you receiving the visions of your life from your future self reaching back through time and space? Or are you attempting to self generate?

Hacks and Strategy does not work for the 80% .

It requires high level self inquiry, nervous system work, understanding our body intelligence, patterning and dreaming process.

This can be done through more connection, and wild honesty, rather than through pushing through into more addictions to self help.

These aspects of ourselves can be SYMPTOMS of circumstances, uncomfortable experiences, and a life lived. They are only able to be recalibrated through us. This is the line between accepting ourselves, loving ourselves, and then seeking transformation through a place of knowing we deserve better, rather than from a place of self judgment and assuming we aren’t enough.

We are not aiming to be perfect but we are aiming to be honest.

We are not aiming to clear away all that doesn’t serve us so that we can only access what does. We are aiming to be human.

We are not aiming to be always happy, always abundant, always joyful.

We are aiming to dance with motherhood, creativity, generating resources, and being devoted to the vision of our lives from a space that is grounded and sustainable in our every day lives.

Below are some articles I’ve written or recorded in the past that I feel would be relevant to some of you.

Take a look as I have hundreds of hours worth of intentionally created content/articles here on substack, with many of them free for you to devour.

I am here to support your 80% so that you can bring to life the vision in your daydreams.

Love Kat.

PS. We have just THREE AND A HALF days until doors close to The Art Of Alchemy (my 12 week online journey for mother makers to explore, learn and recalibrate the entire 80% of their business, self and creative process… )

This is my FINAL round of Art of Alchemy as creative muses are calling me into other spaces.

Please use this opportunity to come and work with me

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