Turns out, I wasn’t the only one feeling this way.

In fact, the more I read through the comments and messages, the more I wondered if this is where a lot of women in midlife find ourselves - somewhere between a deep appreciation for our lives, and an ache we can’t quite put our finger on. Everything is “fine”. Maybe even really good. And yet, there’s this tenderness just beneath the surface.

I sometimes wonder if what we’re feeling is grief.

Not grief for one particular person or thing, but rather grief for the passage of time. For who we once were. For the lives we once imagined. For all of the versions of ourselves we’ve already had to say goodbye to.

Because here we are now, somewhere in the middle, beginning to understand in a way we couldn’t when we were younger that so much of life has already been lived.

We’ve made choices. The marriage happened, and may have ended. The babies were born, and now are growing up and moving into lives that no longer need us in quite the same way. Our parents age. Our bodies change. Relationships shift. Houses get sold. Friendships evolve. Children leave bedrooms empty. And somewhere along the way, the future stopped feeling endless.

I don’t mean that in a morbid way. I mean that at some point in midlife, time becomes real. You can feel it. And I think there’s grief in that. But I also think there’s something else.

The Ache of Impermanence

I recently came across a Japanese concept called mono no aware. There isn’t a perfect English translation, but it describes the particular tenderness we feel when we recognize that something beautiful is temporary. The ache of impermanence. The awareness that part of what makes something beautiful is knowing it won’t last forever.

Cherry blossoms falling from a tree. A sunset disappearing below the horizon. The smell of a baby’s head. Your child’s wide grin smiling back at you in the rear view mirror. There is something about those moments that almost hurts while they’re happening because some part of us already knows…this will not last.

It slips between our fingers even as we’re trying to take it in.

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Please know you’re not alone, and that it’s not a sign of weakness, or that something is “wrong” with you. It’s simply a moment in time, and it will pass. My hope in sharing this (and sharing what I actually do when I’m feeling this way) is that it helps you feel a little less alone, and gives you some practical tools for whenever you’re feeling this way.

I couldn’t sleep the past few nights. Which isn’t like me. I almost always fall asleep within moments of laying my head down and wake up refreshed early the next morning (which I'll never take for granted again). But the past few nights I’ve found myself tossing and turning all night. I’m sure it’s a combination of jet lag from our trip...and a little bit of the Sunday scaries.

About what, you might ask? I’m not really sure. Probably a combination of a lot of things.

One, the kids going back to school and all that it entails. I’ve really enjoyed the slow pace of summer, and just knowing how busy the next 12 months will be feels a little exhausting. But I think even more than that is the pressure I feel. Some of it’s self-induced, I’ll give you that. But either way, the pressure is real.

I feel pressure to show up online, to create content, to have something worthwhile to share. To be of service. To make money (if I’m being really honest). To manage it all while also trying to raise four kids, be a good wife and partner, keep our home running, workout. You get it. I want this big, beautiful life. Not because I have something to prove, but because I don’t want any regrets. I want to feel it all, do it all, experience it all.

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I’m on the flight home from Italy, and I’m already in tears. Which I know sounds ridiculous. It was honestly just that wonderful of a trip. I knew it was going to be good for us as a family, and that we’d all bond, but I don’t think I really understood just how badly I needed this trip as a woman.

I loved so many of our experiences and where we stayed and ate (which I’ll share in a second), but more than anything I loved the everyday moments of just being with my kids. I think there’s something about travel (especially in a foreign country) that takes us out of our day-to-day roles (mom, wife, boss) and lets us simply be “us” and experience life with those we love without the pressure of those roles.

I’m so grateful for this time away, and my advice to anyone even remotely considering taking a trip like this with your kids… it to just go. Life is short. I promise you won’t regret it.

The Plan (at a glance)

I’ll break down our full itinerary in a minute, but the Cliff’s Notes version is that we flew into Rome, went to Florence, Positano, Capri, and then back to Rome before flying home to LA. We were gone for 12 nights, and it was perfect. Any less than that would feel too short, and any more I think would feel a tad too long.

Italy has a special place in my heart. I studied abroad in Florence during college, and then JP and I did this exact itinerary for our 10-year anniversary; on that trip, we talked about how great it would be to bring our kids back here one day. So in many ways, this trip felt symbolic for us.

Our goal for the trip was simple. Have an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime trip with our kids in another country. I wanted to show them a few key things - but I also didn’t feel strongly about trying to see everything. I wanted to actually be on vacation. So in each city, we saw a few things, but we also skipped a lot (with zero guilt). I wanted time to shop, grab coffee, stroll, take naps, etc., and I didn’t want the pressure of a tight schedule. Each destination had one or two things booked, then a lot of white space to play with.

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Last week I shared the mindset practices I attribute to feeling this way, and this week I want to share a little more about specifics around my diet, exercise, supplements, etc. So let’s get into it…

I know I opened this post sharing how I’m feeling really good in my skin. And it’s true. But that wasn’t always the case. Especially in more recent years. In my 20s and 30s, I could eat what I wanted, work out a few times a week, have a drink or two (or three), and still feel pretty good. But when I hit 42, it felt like everything began to really shift.

My body just felt “off”. I started to notice I was puffy, a little inflamed and bloated (almost always), alcohol was no longer my friend, my anxiety was spiking. My periods were also growing heavier and more uncomfortable. And at 44, I had a full hysterectomy (you can read more about why, etc, here).

Recovering from my hysterectomy was more difficult than expected. Not just with the short-term healing, but more with the hormonal changes my body experienced. My doctor didn’t put me on HRT for the first 6 months or so, and looking back, I think that was a big miss.

I share all of this to say that it’s been 3 years since my hysterectomy, and 5 or so years since I noticed my body really shifting. Things don’t change overnight. They take time. And it doesn’t always feel great when you’re “in it”. I get it. I know.

But I do think our bodies intuitively know what they need, and I don’t think it’s as complicated as the internet likes to make it. I think if you can learn to listen to your body, truly trust what it needs, and then comitt to showig up for yourself every day (no matter what), things begin to shift. Slowly, yes. But change none the less.

So here’s what’s working for me in this season…

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Midlife is such a reckoning. A rebirth. A death of who we once were, what we valued, how we thought our lives would turn out. And instead find ourselves in this murky grey water/.

Our bodies are changing. We’re taking care of aging kids (and for many aging parents). The roles within our marriages are changing. Our careers are shifting. What once lit us up may not be doing it anymore. We feel more pressure than ever before. We’re carrying more than ever. Waking up tired and yet struggling to fall asleep.

And I think what we’re often told will help us feel “better” (more protein and heavy weights) leaves much to be desired, to say the least. It doesn’t see us as a whole person. But rather these one-note symptoms that can somehow easily be solved with more cottage cheese (if I see one more cottage cheese recipe I’m gonna lose it).

It’s so much more nuanced than that. The reality is, as women, our stress levels aren’t going anywhere, menopause/perimnepouse isnt going anywhere, our aging bodies aren’t going anywhere.

And I’m tired of fighting it.

I can’t say I have all the answers (please do not put me on a pedestal here). To be honest, I’m very much a work in progress. I still have moments I binge eat and feel bloated and gross, or get overwhelmed and lose my patience with my kids, or I find myself having an emotional day.

But for the most part….I feel pretty darn good. Great, in fact. And not just physically. I feel really good mentally. My anxiety is at bay. My heart feels at peace. My mind is stimulated and remembers things (for the most part…lol). I wake up with energy. And fall asleep easily. My sex drive is at a high (sorry, kids. I know it’s cringe, but it’s true). I’m excited about my work, and for the most part, really like the woman I see reflected back in the mirror.

So I wanted to share what’s helping me truly feel my best in my late 40s (that goes beyond cottage cheese and weights).

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Those were the words shouted at my 12-year-old on his last day of school by a group of laughing middle-school-aged boys.

He doesn’t often share these experiences with me. I’m not sure if it’s to protect me from getting upset or if he just doesn’t want to relive the moments more than he already has to. When I pushed him further about how often it happens (multiple times a week, for as long as he can remember) and how it makes him feel, his responses were what I expected.

He’s fine. It’s fine. “Don’t make it a big deal, Mom”.

He’ll often say, “Words from people I don’t respect don’t hurt me”. But I know they do. I’m 47 years old, and people’s words still hurt me all the time.

I wasn’t planning on writing about this. For a lot of reasons.

One, it’s not my story to tell. My children never asked to have their lives shared publicly. So I’m protective of their privacy and their very real lives.

And two, I feel very new to this world. As if I haven’t quite earned my place in the community to speak about what it feels like to parent a child who’s navigating the world, while also finding their identity.

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I share this to say that parenting and working in the summer is difficult, for all of us, but especially for women. We don’t talk about this enough, but there is no off button for motherhood. There is no “when things slow down.” It is an invisible load that we carry with us, always. Especially in the summer months.

As someone who works for herself, I feel fortunate that I’m able to (for the most part) pick and choose my schedule. My old life, working in advertising and then as a line cook, would not have been sustainable while raising four children without making a lot of sacrifices (something I know many women feel all too well).

The past two weeks, I’ve taken some time “off” being online. I’ve hardly been on my phone, and on many days, I left it at home while I was out walking, bike riding with my kids, or just being with my family. And it has felt incredible.

I forgot how beautiful and easeful life can feel when we’re not tethered to a tiny device that dictates our moods, our self-esteem, or our attention.

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I don’t know if it’s just me (or menopause, or the fact that I’m a mom of four whose kids are somehow still in school), but it feels like my brain has officially stopped working. And I’m not even trying to fight it anymore. I told JP on our walk today that sometimes I think my brain shuts off as a coping mechanism because this is ALL literally too much for one person to process.

Between the end-of-the-year emails (that are STILL coming in), kids’ activities, family admin (which is now a full-time job for mothers), the emotional needs of all of my kids, my work projects, and honestly, just the world - it’s all too much to process.

I know I sound like a broken record saying this (and this isn’t new news to anyone), but we aren’t meant to process everything in our modern world, especially as mothers.

So when my brain gets like this (like complete mush), rather than feeling bad or pushing through, I simply give in. (I get it. I’d do the same thing. Play dead). I know I’ll be just fine (after I lock myself into my bedroom and no one talks to me for 48 hours…lol).

In the same breath, though, I wouldn’t change it for a thing. I’m having the most fun I’ve ever had in motherhood. I swear it just keeps getting better (busier, yes, but also so much better). Watching my two oldest grow up and become these incredible people is just the coolest. And I LOVE the way in which things are growing for me professionally - the women I get to work with, the projects I’m working on, the connections I’ve made. So much abundance in life right now. So yes, my brain may be mush (ha), but I also kind of love it.

Lots of other things to catch up on - I’ve tested out every foundation under the sun (to find the best for mature skin), rescheduling Italy, my non-negotiables for this season, my new skincare routine (after finally seeing a derm), plus what I’m loving, reading, wearing, and eyeing. So let’s jump in….

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Meditation changed my life. Not overnight, and not in a dramatic moment. It happened slowly, quietly - one small practice at a time. Little drops in a bucket. And one day I looked up and realized I had rebuilt my entire relationship with food, my body, alcohol, my husband, my family - and most importantly, with myself.

I was a different woman. Calmer. More grounded. More me.

These aren’t practices I read about in a book. They’re the ones I lived. The ones I returned to on the hard mornings, the overwhelmed afternoons, the nights when everything felt like too much. And over the years, through all of it, they’ve become the foundation everything else is built on.

And I want that for you. Every single one of you.

I know how hard it is to start. I know what it feels like to want this and still find yourself scrolling instead of sitting down on the mat. To know you need it and still not quite believe you deserve to make the time. To wonder if you’re doing it right, if it’s working, if it’s worth it.

It is. You are. And sometimes you just have to begin - before you feel ready, before you feel worthy, before you feel like you know what you’re doing. The practice meets you exactly where you are.

Which is exactly why I built The Practice.

So….what is it?

The Practice is a monthly membership I created for women who are ready to finally build a daily practice that sticks. Everything you need, in one place, on your own time, from the comfort of your own home.

Here’s what’s inside:

• Dozens of guided meditations - audio and video, all lengths and topics, for wherever you are that day

• Mindful movement and yoga-based classes, accessible for all levels

• Somatic and embodiment exercises to regulate your nervous system and come back to your body

• Visualizations and journal practices to go deeper

• New content added regularly, so your practice keeps growing with you

No commute. No schedule to keep up with. No perfection required. Just you, your practice, and a quiet place to return to, whenever you need it most.

And because I wanted to give you a real taste of what’s inside, here’s a sample meditation, just for you.

Press play. Find a comfortable seat. And give yourself the next few minutes.

This is what The Practice feels like.

If this resonates - if this feels like something you’ve been craving in your own life - I’d love to have you inside.

Join The Practice HERE.

xoxo,

Katy

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What used to get branded as a “midlife crisis”, I think we can all agree, is more of a reawakening. A moment where we begin to look honestly at our lives - our choices, our relationships, our sense of self - and feel, sometimes for the first time, the gap between who we’ve been performing and who we actually are.

And it’s no accident that our bodies are undergoing their largest physical transformation at exactly the same time. It’s as if Mother Nature knew we needed a physical kick in the pants to force the change. To make sure staying the same was so uncomfortable that we’d finally have to do something about it.

Whether we fight it or surrender to it, every woman goes through a major shift at this time of life. We can resist it - clinging to our youth, our identity, an old version of ourselves. Or we can let it crack us open. See it as a chance to bloom into a fuller, more expansive, truer expression of who we are.

I have zero interest in chasing the woman I used to be. I know what’s on the other side of this - more wisdom, more beauty, more groundedness and self-assurance than 30-year-old me could have dreamed of. I love every version of myself that came before. But the one I’m currently becoming is the one I’m most proud of.

This chapter is meant to shake us up. But there are things we can do to move through it with more grace. To make the process feel smoother while still honoring the enormity of the transformation. To not just manage the symptoms - but to actually thrive.

My own journey into perimenopause began three years ago with a full hysterectomy. It happened fast. And it was one of the best things that ever happened to me (said with years of hindsight). But it’s also been a difficult few years as I’ve struggled to find myself. I’ve struggled with new anxiety, weight gain, low self-esteem and confidence, brain fog, a lack of drive and motivation - and overall just felt lost.

It’s taken me years to truly feel like myself again. And I can’t say it was any one thing (although some things, like HRT, moved the needle a lot), but rather a combination of a lot of things. Realigning my life in a way that helped me to thrive in this season and not just survive.

Below is a culmination of what’s actually helped me in this season (including an update on where I’m at with HRT).

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And yet, I know it never really does. And how lucky am I to have a home full of chaos and noise and laundry and bellies to be fed. It’s all a balance, I guess — finding gratitude for the present moment, while also having the perspective to step outside the busyness of life and understand the impermanence of it all.

I have so many things to share with you today - what a canceled trip to Italy (don’t even get me started) taught me about motherhood, at 47 I finally saw my first dermatologist(spoiler alert… I have rosacea - and a plan), how I’ve been feeling about my body lately and how the internet responded when I showed what my belly actually looks like, and a few things I’ve been treating myself to lately.

Lots to unpack. So let’s get into it…

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The Pisces in me is all about feelings, deep emotions, wanting to understand our deep inner workings. Highly fluid, emotional, intuitive, and sensitive, a dreamer. Very me. I have a lot of my planets in Pisces as well. And yet, I’m also a Virgo rising - which is almost the complete opposite. It’s the part of me that craves systems, order, discipline, structure.

Without me even knowing it, the two together have served me very well personally and professionally. I’m intuitive and fluid and allow things to develop as they should, while also being pragmatic, critical, and realistic. And I think that combination is exactly why the practices I'm about to share have worked so well for me - they're rooted in feeling and intuition, but they're also consistent and intentional.

Ever since I was a young girl, I’ve always had a little bit of a woo side. I wouldn’t have known what that was, but I remember sitting on my windowsill as a child, watching the moon or the clouds and feeling pensive about the meaning of life and why I’m here on this earth (my third child is very much this same way - also a Pisces sun).

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As I’ve gotten older and learned to trust myself more, I’ve leaned more and more into this “woo,” spiritual side of me (while always balancing it out with a little of my pragmatic side, too). And to be honest, it’s made a huge impact on my life. It can be so easy to think of these practices as “fluff” or silly - but in actuality, I credit some of these practices to a lot of the growth and momentum I’ve felt in my life in recent years -and more importantly, just helped me to feel really grounded and centered.

So today I wanted to share the woo things I do that actually work - that have helped me not just professionally, but more importantly, personally.

Maybe some of it will speak to you, maybe not - but either way, I hope it’s a small reminder to begin trusting your own intuition.

7 woo things I do, that actually work

I make plans based on how I feel in the moment

This is probably one of the most difficult to implement in my real everyday life (and the one JP gets the most frustrated with), but it’s also been the most liberating. If I don’t have to, I don’t make plans in advance. So if we’re making dinner plans or weekend plans, I default to “let’s see how we feel in the moment.” Because the reality is, I don’t know.

For years, I would push through and go to things I didn’t want to - often overtired, overstimulated, needing a moment to rest or recalibrate, but feeling guilty because I had said “yes.” Even if that yes was simply dinner plans with JP. A few years ago, I stopped doing that, and I stopped feeling guilty about it, too.

I energetically cleanse (a lot)

For me, “energetically cleansing” looks like a lot of different things -

• I cleanse with a cord-cutting meditation when I need to let someone “energetically go”. This can be anyone from an old friend to a past client, to even just the kids after dropping them off at school if we’ve had a rough morning. (I can share more about cord-cutting meditations and what that actually looks like if you’re interested.)

• I cleanse my body with Epsom salts after a long day. I stand in my tub, and as it fills with warm water, I literally take handfuls of salt and gently scrub my body with them.

• I cleanse our home with sage once a week, or when needed, moving through the doorways and corners of each room. If I’ve completed a large task or someone’s had an upsetting conversation, I’ll cleanse the room with sage.

• I cleanse our closets and spaces by not holding onto things from the past. The kids each have one memory bin in their closets, and JP and I have one as well. But beyond that, I don’t hold onto many mementos. I’m a big believer in keeping the energy moving.

• I keep our doors and windows open (front of the house through the back, so the air flows through and the energy doesn’t get stuck).

I trust my initial gut reaction

To people, places, ideas. If I get chills when I walk into a room, if my stomach feels off when someone is speaking to me, or if I just have a “feeling” about something — I trust it immediately.

I can get an almost immediate read on people and spaces. We all have an aura around us, and the more intuitive you are, the more you can begin to pick up on other people (and places) ’ aura really quickly.

I rehearse tomorrow in my mind

At night, before drifting off to sleep - when our brains move from Beta into Alpha and Theta wavelengths (when our subconscious is the most accessible), I take just a few moments to visualize my day. How I feel, what I’m wearing, how things flow with ease. I see myself waking up energized. I feel the sun on my skin during my morning. I see the smiles across my kids’ faces as I hug them. I picture the whole day and rehearse how I want it to go.

And without fail, a feeling of warmth fills my heart, a smile moves across my face, and I feel so grateful for the life I’m about to live. It only takes a few moments — but it rewires my brain from what I’m worried about to what I’m excited about and grateful for.

We spend so much time focusing on what we don’t want, and not enough time on what we do desire. And wherever we give our attention and energy to, we receive more of in life.

I ask for downloads

I’ve shared often that I get “hits” about things — immediate knowings. Some call them downloads. For me, it’s a deep gut knowing I feel in my stomach.

I had a download about becoming sober. Moving our family to California. Hosting retreats at certain locations. I also get them about things I’m not supposed to do. They usually come when my brain is quiet - on a walk, in meditation, as I’m falling asleep.

I often get asked: how do you know the difference between your intuition and your anxious mind? For me, they feel very different. When my mind is leading, it usually feels rushed. There’s a pit in my stomach, and the energy feels ungrounded and quick. When my intuition speaks to me, there is a sense of calm. It’s warm and grounded. Hard to put into words, but they feel very different.

For many of us, we’ve never heard our intuition speak to us, or we’re used to ignoring it. It doesn’t mean the decisions or actions we need to take are easy, or that our minds won’t later become anxious. But there is a deeper knowing underneath the mind’s anxious energy.

I wonder how this will work out?

When things don’t work out how I envisioned (which, let’s be honest, is most of the time) rather than fight against it and get upset, I step back and ask myself: “This is so interesting. I wonder where this is going to go?”

It’s such a simple reframe, but it reminds my brain that the universe is working in my favor, even when my limited mind can’t see it. We often think that because things aren’t playing out in our 3D world the way we thought they would, that they somehow aren’t working. But in actuality, the plan is shaping up into something so much bigger than we ever could have imagined.

It’s not a “no.” It’s I wonder how this will work out…

I write letters to myself, from future me

Thanking myself for all the hard work I’ve put in. How she won’t believe how good it all turned out. I write it all out from the house we’re living in, to the joy I feel in my work and in my marriage. How good I feel physically and mentally, and my relationships with my kids. I write it all out as if it is true. As I’m writing it, I allow myself to feel how good it feels to receive and hold all of that abundance, ease, and joy.

There is something about putting pen to paper, while also having our hearts and minds in an elevated state that rewires some of our subconscious beliefs. It is a little nod from the future reassuring me that everything is working out, exactly as it should, and that I’m on the right path.

Playing with your own intuition

None of this is done with exact science, and no one really “taught” me these things (minus the cord-cutting meditation and some of the cleansing practices) - they were all things that just felt intuitive.

It’s also worth noting that there are things you can do to increase your intuition. For me, not drinking has helped immensely. I do believe that alcohol energetically waters us down and limits our intuition (sorry to be the fun police..lol). Meditation has helped tremendously as well. Once you begin to see yourself as a vessel of pure love energy, and you start clearing out your blocks, the easier it is to FEEL.

You’ll start to notice that there’s no such thing as coincidences, that angel numbers are actually signs, that there are messages and guides all around us, constantly. Some of us call it God or Spirit, others the universe, or source. It doesn’t really matter - it’s just semantics. We’re all referencing the same thing: something bigger than ourselves that’s constantly guiding us and watching over us.

The more we can trust that the universe is working for us, not against us, the easier and more joyful life becomes. I truly believe that.

I’m so curious if this resonated with you. Are there any “woo” things you do that actually work? Tell me in the comments - I love hearing from you…

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I somehow find myself in the “wellness” space (teaching meditation will do that to you). But if you really knew me, you’d know that I’m as “anti-wellness” as they come. Not that I don’t love women taking care of themselves - because I very much do. But rather because what I see being presented as “wellness” right now, I don’t think is actually helping anyone feel well.

Rather, it feels like a whole lot of capitalism (sorry, not trying to go there, but it’s true) and messaging that convinces women they are flawed, broken, and in need of fixing (…and this $59 supplement is, of course, the cure).

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. What “wellness” actually means to me? True well-being. From the inside out. And although I’m not sure, I’ve found the exact definition, as someone who's spent most of her adult life chasing the pursuit of enlightenment and poreless skin, what I can tell you is that the things that help women truly feel “well” aren’t green juices and red light masks.

So I wanted to share with you how I look at wellness. How I’ve shifted my perspective on wellness culture, and what true well-being actually looks like for me in my very real life. Becuae the truth is, we all deserve to live a life where we feel at peace, where our hearts aren’t racing, where we like what we see reflected back in the mirror, and where, for the most part, we’re happy.

So, in an effort to keep my rambling to a minimum (lol), here’s what wellness actually looked like for me this week, as a busy, working mom of four (who has a partner that travels).

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I had no grand plan or five-year vision. No idea I’d one day be hosting retreats, teaching meditation, or coaching women. And yet, here we are.

That’s one of the things I’ve learned most over the years: the first version of what you create is rarely the final version. We start somewhere simple (even a little random, like becoming a food blogger… lol), and if we keep going, it often becomes something we never could have predicted.

What I’m building for myself professionally is still very much growing and evolving (and I’m nowhere close to where I want to be), but over the past few years, I’ve learned this: building something meaningful usually isn’t about talent alone. It’s also about mindset, consistency, a willingness to evolve, tools, and support.

So today, I wanted to share some of what has genuinely helped me - both the practical platforms I use (which I get into specifically - it’s the list I wish I had had years ago), and the less tangible things that matter even more. This post is a little more tactical than I typically get - but I think sharing “how” and “what” people actually use to build their business isn’t talked about enough. This is literally the list I wish I had years ago when I was first starting out.

So, for anyone sitting behind a desk right now quietly wondering, Could I build something too? This is for you.

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I came across a Substack article the other day written about me. And not necessarily in the most flattering way. They didn’t use my name, but it was one hundred percent about me.

At first, my stomach dropped. The person who wrote it most likely knew I would see it (either that someone would send it to me, or it would somehow make its way to me). And sure enough, I did. For a moment, I wanted to defend myself. But I knew it wasn’t worth my time (which was ironic, because not having boundaries or defending myself in the first place is the only reason that post was ever written).

But the truth is, I’ve already given this person, and that post, too much life. And for better or worse, this happens to all of us. There will always be people who write narratives about us - either in their minds, in their retelling of the story they’ve made up about who we are, and sometimes, quite literally, for the public to read.

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I say this with no complaints, though, as well. We’re not necessarily “busy” right now for the sake of busy - it’s all things that feel aligned (for us, and our kids). And for that I’m really proud, AND it still means we have a lot on our plate. I know we only have another year or so before life slows down and one of my kiddos is out of the house - so for now, I’m just taking lots of deep breaths and enjoying the ride (and the last-minute planning).

Since we’re here on vacation, I’m going to keep this short and sweet. I’m diving into a few things that are on my mind (understanding how I work - which seems to be different than what I was taught and and being my own cheerleader), to what I’m loving, eyeing, and buying (from new satin shorts, to my new thrifting obsession to some summer staples to what I’m cooking, watching, and reading). It’s a little bit of everything. So let’s get into it….

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In today’s post, I’m sharing the mindset shifts that supported me in going from being a stay-at-home mom to creating work that feels deeply meaningful and aligned.

Where This Started

When I became a mom to my oldest child, over 17 years ago, I stepped back from paid work and became a stay-at-home mom. I walked away from two degrees, a previous corporate role in advertising, and a line-chef role at a Michelin-starred restaurant to be home with my son. It was hands down the right decision for me, but it also came with a lot of repercussions that I wouldn’t fully understand until years later. I gave up much of my identity and my previous life to focus on only one thing: being a good mom.

As my time at home grew, and our family grew, I felt a pull for something more. I wanted something of my own. Just for me. I wanted to create something for myself. But at the time, I couldn’t have named what that “more” was (I’m still not sure I fully can). Over the years, it’s looked like many different things - from food blogging (yes, that’s how I originally started showing up online), to teaching yoga and meditation, to now hosting a podcast, coaching, and leading retreats.

I truly believe that when we look at our wellbeing, feeling a sense of purpose — of being needed in this world — is a huge part of it. As women, we are creative beings. Our need to create, to build, to make, is innate. Whether that’s raising children, baking bread, or building a business. We are creators.

And having a place to channel that creative energy, whether it’s inside the home or outside of it, through a vocation or volunteer work, is part of our vitality.

I hear over and over—from the women I work with to women in my real life—that there is a pull for something else, for this “next chapter.” But they don’t know how or where to begin. And the advice we’re often given (to put a business plan together) is an outdated, masculine model that doesn’t resonate with most women.

And unfortunately, for many of us, we weren’t taught how to listen to our intuition or how to create something for ourselves in a way that feels aligned, sustainable, and rewarding. And it leaves us feeling stuck, frustrated, and often giving up.

So today I’m sharing the mindset shifts that supported me in beginning to create something of my own - and that I now see come up over and over again in the women I work with. If you’re feeling that pull toward a Next Chapter, this is where I would start.

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Women often get a bad rap (as do teen girls). Often called mean or catty, jealous, and competitive. When in reality, I don’t believe that’s our true nature at all. When women feel safe, supported, and seen- they are incredibly kind, deeply empathetic, warm, and compassionate. They are welcoming, nurturing, and protective. That is who we are at our core. And this week, I was able to witness women in their true nature.

This week I saw women empower complete strangers, wipe away each other’s tears, hold each other’s sweaty palms in yoga. We shared rooms (and yes, with strangers), ate our meals together, burned each other’s shame and heartache around a fire. We held space for each other, swam naked in the Pacific, danced in a circle, and spent hours after hours talking, laughing, crying, and laughing again.

It was cathartic, tribal, nourishing, and empowering. We were seen.

What We Did

22 women and I traveled to the remote destination of Cambutal, Panama to spend a week together at Sansara Resort. Our mornings were spent walking the beach at sunrise, followed by yoga and meditation in an open-air shala. In the afternoons, some surfed, hiked, or went on adventures, while others read, slept in hammocks, or simply sat by the pool and laughed. In the late afternoons, we gathered again in the shala for either a discussion, restorative yoga, or a sound bath, followed by a beautiful dinner shared as a family.

So much of what we shared and discussed is private and sacred for just the 23 of us - but I will say that each of us arrived thinking we needed one thing, but by the end of the first day, realizing we were there for something completley different.

Allowing for the Divine

When I put a deposit down to host a “yoga” retreat in Panama, in my gut I knew it was more than a yoga retreat - it was a sanctuary for women. As I envisioned the week, I couldn’t picture who would be sitting in that shala with me. I offered a prayer that whoever needed to be there, would be.

And I mean this sincerely when I say that every single one of those 22 women needed to be there and completed the group. Each woman brought something unique.

I remember looking around at closing circle and thinking, how did we get here? I knew that something bigger than me brought us all together, and that each woman had something to share with someone in the group - and equally had something that she could only receive there, in that circle of women.

I will also add that there was not one ego in the group, not one woman who dominated the conversation. It felt balanced, cohesive, and effortless. I have been in a lot of women’s circles and retreats over the years - and I will say that this group came together in a way I’ve never seen. It felt divinely orchestrated.

There were so many magical moments throughout the week that equally felt divinely planned. A roaring thunderstorm that came through at the exact moment of our closing circle (which we were told never happens during the dry season in Cambutal), that ended right as we finished - only to have the clouds part and display the most gorgeous stars. A sound bath that came together at the last minute that was more spiritual and moving than I could have imagined. And conversations and synchronicities between the women that I knew were more than coincidence. The entire week was peppered with moments that felt bigger than me, and I knew something larger was at play.

What I Was Reminded Of…

We aren’t meant to do any of this alone. We have more access to each other, and yet feel more alone and isolated than ever before. Simply knowing that we belong - in a sisterhood, a community, a circle - is so deeply healing.

Our healing, learning to come home to ourselves, is never done. I witnessed women from their 30s to 70s doing this work. It is a daily (if not moment-by-moment) practice that never ends.

All we truly want in this world is to be seen. Not for our roles or accomplishments or achievements—but for the woman beneath it all. We walk through our days constantly wondering, do you see me? The real me? And even more than that - when you do, will you stay? One of the reasons this week felt so transformative for many of us had nothing to do with the beauty of the location, or the yoga, or the surfing, but rather because we felt safe enough to be seen. And the women around us not only loved us despite our humanity, but because of it.

And finally - and I know I sound like a broken record - but I will keep shouting this from the rooftops because it’s true, and yet the hardest thing to practice - and ultimately, why I think we’re here on this earth…

We do this work (yoga, meditation, journaling, you name it) not to become a shinier, better, more patient version of ourselves—but because the greatest love we’re all still searching for… is our own.

And that maybe learning to not only see ourselves clearly, but to learn how to offer ourselves our own love, our own compassion, and our own kindness—is why we’re here.

Maybe life is simply one big journey back home, to ourselves. And this week, I was honored to witness 22 women (myself included) take one step closer to home.

To those of you who followed along last week, thank you for letting me share a tiny part of our week with you. And to the 22 women who said “yes” to a calling in your heart—thank you. It was an honor to walk alongside you this week. I will simply close by saying - I see you. I am you. And I love you.

For those interested in joining us on future retreats, I’ll be releasing dates for fall 2026 and 2027 soon. You can leave your name and email address here to be the first to receive information when doors open. I would love to see you there.

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JP has been traveling all week, and I’ve been pulled in a million directions as well. I’m leaving for our Panama Retreat next week, and between prepping for the retreat, keeping up with the podcast, my 1:1 coaching clients, and just the day-to-day life of raising four kids, I’m pulled as thin as possible right now. Since the start of the year, I’ve worked every weekend (which I’ve made a commitment to myself that I won’t be doing anymore). So, by Saturday night, I’m ready for a bath, a movie with my kids, and doing nothing. I swear I’ll be fun again (just not this month…lol).

I have so much on my mind that I want to share with you. I have an idea for a new series on here, and to be honest, I’ve already started working on it (but I’d still love your thoughts). I’ve been putting myself out there with new friends and joined a very cool new group (that I think more women should copy). Thoughts on kindness and success after a podcast interview with someone fairly well-known. How I’m prepping for our retreat, and of course, what I’m reading, wearing, and loving.

Lots to talk about tonight (instead of going out to dinner…lol). So let’s get into it….

Starting A New Series,

on dusting off careers, passions, and starting second chapters.

One of the most common themes I see with the women I work with is how many of them are asking the question “what’s next?” Many are dusting off old careers, looking at going back to school, starting new chapters, and asking themselves the question (maybe for the first time ever), “what am I going to do with this one wild and precious life”….now that the kids are gone, the divorce went through, or simply….I think I want more.

Having something of “our own” is so healing for women in midlife, and I often think the thing missing when it comes to our wellbeing. I know for me, starting a career that felt truly fulfilling and rewarding has helped heal so many parts of myself that I didn’t know needed it. It helped me build confidence. It’s been a creative outlet and has helped me awaken parts of me that were asleep for far too long.

But starting can often feel really hard - especially if that part of us has been asleep for a while. So this series is going to explore everything from dusting off an old career to finding a new one, to simply rediscovering your passion. I’ll share everything from what’s worked for me, how I make money (yes, this is actually a career for me), the tools I use, and what I’ve learned. I’ll bring in guest writers as well, since I don’t have all the answers and am still learning as I go as well.

Curious, is this something you’d be interested in? What topics would you love to see discussed? Let me know in the comments (and always, thank you).

Putting Myself Out There With Friends

For as public as I am about many parts of my life, in a lot of ways I’m actually quite private and tend to keep to myself - even with friends. I have my handful of women I’ve known for years who are my ride-or-die. But in my late 30s and early 40s, I haven’t been very good about investing in new friendships.

Part of it is simply that I’m in the busiest season of my life and, if I’m being honest, I just don’t always feel like I have the time. But another part of me knows it’s probably also a bit of a defense mechanism.

Over the past year or two, I’ve been making a more conscious effort to invest in new friendships. Scheduling walks. Saying yes to girls’ dinners. Accepting invitations, I probably would have passed on before.

Recently, a newer friend here in Manhattan Beach connected me with a group of really interesting women who were starting a bi-weekly meet-up centered around personal growth and spirituality (my love language. I don’t do small talk well - but if you want to talk about inner child work, let me grab a chair).

Every other Thursday, we gather at someone’s home and talk about everything from meditation to astrology to vision boards to inner child work. The host chooses the theme, sometimes bringing in an expert, sometimes simply sharing what she knows, and then we sit around for an hour or two over coffee and tea and talk it all through.

It’s honestly so beautiful. We laugh, cry, and share things we probably wouldn’t say out loud at school pick-up.

I hosted at my house a few weeks ago, and it was really special. The whole experience has shifted the way I think about friendship later in life. It’s been deeply nourishing for my soul and has even healed a small part of me that quietly wondered if I belonged.

For a long time, I struggled with friendships and assumed the problem was me. But now I wonder if part of it was simply that I wasn’t in the right place within myself to meet the right people. There’s something new about me lately - an inner confidence. I’m not trying as hard, and I think that’s felt. The women I’m meeting seem to be showing up with that same kind of energy.

Long way of saying: friendships can be hard. I get it. Same, friend. Same. But I think they’re out there. Don’t give up.

Planning For Panama

I’m leaving for our women’s retreat in Panama at the end of the week. I’m leaving on Sloan’s birthday, and it’s kind of killing me. Oh, motherhood. I fought for years to have my own space and time, and now that I do, all I want is to be there for the birthday cake. Life is all so bittersweet.

I spent all day today (and have been for weeks) planning out content for the retreat. I don’t take it lightly that 22 women are flying to another country and taking 8 days away from their families to spend a week in a remote location with strangers. It’s all so surreal to me. That women say yes, that this is my job, that I get to do any of this. So I take it all as the serious work that it is.

Unexpected Kindness

I had the pleasure of interviewing someone for the podcast this week who is fairly well known, and she could not have been more gracious, open, and warm (her episode is coming out shortly - I’ll let you guess who it is). This same week, I went to an influencer event where I had a very similar experience. Women who, if I’m being honest, I might have expected to have a bit of an ego… didn’t. And then, equally, there are women you wouldn’t expect it from, who somehow do.

I think women get a bad rap sometimes. There’s this narrative that women are unkind to each other, competitive, or catty. And of course that exists. But to be honest, the more I move through the world—traveling, working, meeting new people—the more I find the opposite to be true.

The women who are the most confident in themselves, the ones I’m naturally drawn to, are almost always the kindest and most gracious in the room. They’re generous with their energy. They’re curious. They don’t need to posture or prove anything.

And I’ve started to notice something else too: when a woman is really at peace with who she is, there’s space for everyone else to be themselves too. That kind of confidence is magnetic. And honestly, it makes me want to be that kind of woman even more.

What I’m loving

• I wore this white pant suit to a recent event in Beverly Hills and received so many compliments on it. I’ve had it for years, and it’s held up so well (plus, I machine wash the pants - and it comes in multiple lengths!). Such a good value for a gorgeous suit.

• I just got this white sapphire tennis necklace for my birthday and have been wearing it nonstop. I’m usually not a jewelry person - but it’s so classic and gorgeous. I love it with a white t-shirt and jeans.

• I have been obsessed with Love Story, and I’m sure you have too. That first scene where CBK walks out of her NYC apartment and lights up a Parliament. Ugh. I die. (back in the day, Parliament was my cigarette of choice - can you even picture me smoking now… lol).

• I’ve been reading this book every am with Asher (my 17-year-old). We both have copies and read them together over coffee (him) and tea (me) in the am before school. It’s not so much the book I love, but rather that I have something special just for him and me. A part of me thinks he’s just appeasing me. I’m not sure. Either way, I’ll take it.

• I just got this book as well and am devouring it.

• I was recently gifted this skincare from a brand (being totally transparent). I was skeptical at first (especially gifted items), but I’ve been using it for over a month, and I genuinely love it.

• I wore this wrap coat throughout our trip out east a few weeks ago, and then back in LA on cooler evenings (before this heat front came through), and it’s gorgeous. Looks way more $$ than it is. Great quality.

Ok, off to try and make our dinner reservations. Have a great week, kids, and I’ll talk to you all after Panama!

xoxo

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As I started writing about skincare, I found myself circling into all the other thoughts that sit just beneath it. Because beauty doesn’t live in a vacuum. It’s never just about the moisturizer. It’s about how we see ourselves. How we give ourselves permission to age, and to be human. It’s about control. And it’s about worth.

So, in true Katy fashion, I took what could have been the most straightforward, simple post and made it… well… complicated.

I get into my thoughts on Botox and injectables, what it means to age “gracefully” (whatever that even means), what beauty feels like to me now at 47, and what has actually moved the needle most when it comes to my skin.

We all have such a complicated relationship with the mirror and how we see ourselves. So today I’m sharing a sneak peek into mine in hopes that it helps soften your own gaze a little. (and I’m of course sharing my actual routine as well).

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