🐈Who am I behind this newsletter?

Just an ordinary 20 year old student figuring out life like most young adults.

🐈Why did I start writing on substack?

I wanted to be a part of a place where my thoughts are loud and not considered weird. A place where I can be myself with my curiosity and thoughts.

🐈MBTI Type- INTP-A

🐈Cats or dogs- Well ig its obvious…definitely CATS

🐈Mountains or beaches- Mountains all day

🐈My last read book- Tuesdays with Morrie (I loved it….took my time to read at slow pace, worth the experience)

🐈My last played video game- Life is Strange(I love playing video games especially story driven ones like Plague tale series or Detroit: become human)

🐈What’s something I want to learn or try someday- Skiing(idk if its possible but still)

🐈Something I’m currently obsessed with- ON THE NATURE OF DAYLIGHT (on loop, its a masterpiece)

🐈 Random stuff I’d like to do- Admire clouds, its very relaxing

🐈What’s something I’ve changed my mind about recently?

This is definitely being religious…..I’m not that religious but I’m often forced to be, I hope people understand that each individual has different views on god and FAITH too, moral values and discipline you set for yourself is good enough

🐈Favourite music- Country pop and jazz

🐈My most embarrassing habit- Biting nails😭 I can’t control it ik…

🐈What does my ideal lazy day look like?

Start the day with coffee or tea☕(I drink both), spend most of my time in bed reading a book or watching a series(definitely a thriller or something that crushes your soul) and sleeping ofc

🐈What game would I erase my memory to play again?

Detroit: Become Human (I was way too invested in it, every character amazed me and I loved the rollercoaster emotions and depth of the game)

🐈What’s something incredibly small that annoys me way more than it should?

Anyone scratching bedsheets. Its very annoying idk why...It annoys me more than it should

🐈If my life were a video game, what would my current side quest be?

A side quest related to CATS or exploring a cave or hills or sailing, finding islands maybe!!!

AND FINALLY !!!

🐈What’s one thing I hope this little corner of the internet becomes?

I hope it becomes a place where people are not mean to others and bully them for expressing themselves cuz someone in this corner of the internet is excited about expressing their thoughts and it takes a lot to take first steps. I want this little place to be cozy where people find comfort

Also feel free to suggest a pfp…might change it soon !!!

We live in a competitive world where we’re constantly expected to meet someone’s expectations. Sometimes, it feels like people have already decided what your career should look like before you’ve even figured out what you want.

If you’re an average student, you’re expected to do better. If you’re doing well academically, somehow those marks still aren’t enough you’re expected to do better. And if you’re struggling, you guessed it you’re still expected to do better.

Whether you’re in high school or college, I hope you learn to give yourself some credit. If you tried your best, worked hard, and gave it everything you had, that matters too.

Sometimes, you just get a bad grade. And that’s okay.

One grade, one exam, or even one bad academic year doesn’t define your calibre or your potential.

The 16-year-old version of me would have never imagined that, years later, marks would become one of the least of my worries. I say this as someone who struggled to score 85% in high school which is a good grade and I wasn’t happy with it because I didn’t give myself any credit.

For the longest time, I was simply trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations of me.

And honestly, I don’t even remember the marks I scored in 10th or 12th anymore. I barely remember the ranks I got in competitive exams. Looking back, I realize I was chasing numbers without really asking myself where those numbers were taking me.

Somewhere along the way, we’re taught that if you score well, your life will automatically fall into place.

But will it?

Even if you succeed. Even if you meet every expectation placed on you. Even if you become exactly who everyone wanted you to be, will you be happy?

Will you have something in your life that makes you feel fulfilled?

I do believe grades matter to a certain extent. They can open doors, create opportunities, and reflect the effort you put into something. But don’t become so obsessed with them that you forget there’s a life waiting outside the classroom.

Take a moment to notice the little things around you. Spend time with your friends. Try something you’ve always wanted to try. Rest without feeling guilty about it. Fail at something that has nothing to do with academics.

It’s okay to fall short of someone else’s expectations sometimes.

Just don’t look back years later and realize that you spent all your time trying to prove that you were good enough.

You already were.

“Your mind deserves kindness, not criticism.”

The rider was very young, maybe in his early twenties. He started a conversation and asked me where I studied, what grade I was in, and what course I had taken. We spoke in Tamil.

At some point, he told me that he regretted not studying when he was my age. Now, he said, he struggles to make ends meet.

What came after that was advice.

He told me to study well. Not to take 12th grade lightly. Not to end up regretting it later.

I’ve heard these exact things from my parents, teachers, relatives, and almost every adult who has ever given me advice about studies. But somehow, this felt different.

There was no reason for this young man to tell me any of this. It was just a ten minute ride between two strangers. He didn’t know me, and I didn’t know him. Yet, he chose to share something personal about his life and the mistakes he had made, hoping that maybe I wouldn’t make the same ones.

I’m an introvert. I don’t usually start conversations with people I don’t know, so I didn’t say much. I mostly listened.

But that short conversation stayed with me.

Sometimes, we learn things from people who aren’t trying to teach us anything. They simply tell us a little about their lives, and somehow, we see a little bit of ourselves in their stories.

We live different lives. We take different paths. We meet people for a few minutes and then never see them again.

I probably won’t meet that rider again.

But if I ever do, I’d thank him.

And maybe, this time, I’d talk a little more, not about college or grades, but about life, the choices we make, the things we regret, and the things we wish we’d known a little earlier.

Never did I imagine that a ten minute ride can sometimes leave you with something that lasts much longer.

We celebrate numerous festivals each year. For some people, festivals provide a sense of support, love, understanding, community, and belonging, which can act as a buffer against anxiety and stress. For others, especially those with pre-existing mental health concerns, factors such as social expectations, complicated family dynamics, or financial stress can contribute to festival related anxiety.

India already carries a significant mental health burden. Assuming that everyone automatically feels happy and joyful during the festive season overlooks the fact that people experiencing mental health difficulties may enter this period in very different emotional states.

Before the festival even begins, the preparation starts. We deep-clean our homes, move furniture, wash curtains, shop, cook, and decorate. By the time the festival actually arrives, the people preparing for it may already be physically exhausted. And all of this often happens alongside our regular routines and responsibilities. We tend to measure a festival by how beautifully decorated the house looks, how clean everything is, and how much food has been prepared. But we rarely question or acknowledge the physical exhaustion behind it. When festivals are supposed to be a time for rest, celebration, and joy, we often fail to see the exhaustion required to make all of it happen.

Festivals can create financial stress too. We spend money on gifts, house repairs, sweets, clothes, decorations, and celebrations, while countless small expectations from the people around us continue to add up. A survey across urban districts estimated that people planned to spend ₹1.85 trillion during the 2024 festive season. This kind of spending can be particularly stressful for households with limited resources. Choosing not to spend much can sometimes feel like failing to participate. When celebration becomes a measure of how much we can afford to give, a festival can stop feeling like a celebration and start feeling like an obligation.

Then there is participation itself. Being involved in festivals can sometimes feel more like an expectation than a choice. You may be expected to attend gatherings, visit relatives, or sit through long conversations with people you barely know. Opting out can be difficult because it may be perceived as disrespectful or ungrateful. Instead of choosing how we want to celebrate, we sometimes participate simply because we feel we have to.

Noise is another major part of many festivals. Loudspeakers, fireworks, music, and crowded environments can turn the surroundings into a constant source of stimulation. For people who find comfort in quiet spaces, this can become physically and mentally overwhelming. What feels joyful and celebratory to one person can sometimes feel overstimulating and exhausting to another.

Festivals are supposed to bring joy, happiness, and a sense of togetherness, but that should not come at the cost of our mental and physical well-being. Everyone experiences celebration differently. Perhaps festivals should also be about giving people the freedom to participate without obligation, to spend without pressure, to step away without guilt, and to feel whatever they genuinely feel. A celebration should leave us with memories to cherish, rather than exhaustion and days spent recovering from it.

Lazarus and Folkman’s Stress and Coping Theory suggests that stress is not caused only by a situation itself, but also by how a person interprets it and whether they believe they can cope with it. The theory has two important stages: primary appraisal and secondary appraisal. Primary appraisal is how students interpret their parents’ expectations—as either a challenge or a threat. A student may see “do your best” as motivation, while another may hear it as an expectation they cannot afford to fail. Secondary appraisal is when students assess whether they have the resources to cope. If they feel capable and supported, the pressure may feel manageable; if they feel unprepared or afraid of disappointing their parents, it can become overwhelming.

I have experienced this difference between expectation and pressure myself. Like many Indian students, I grew up with the idea that performing exceptionally well academically was important, especially with competitive exams ahead. In my household, there was always an unspoken pressure. It started in school: once I performed exceptionally well, the same level of performance was silently expected from me in every grade. It did not end in high school; it continued through 12th grade, with little room in my mind for failure. My parents have always loved and supported me immensely, but the pressure still affected me. I became so concerned about my marks that I eventually asked myself: what is the point of achieving good grades if I cannot even be proud of them? With time, I realised that my grades did not define my calibre or determine what I wanted to do with my life. There is still some of that unspoken pressure, but I no longer let it control me. My high school self simply wasn’t mature enough to understand that distinction.

And I know I am not the only one. Many students experience this pressure without even recognising it as pressure. They constantly feel the need to perform exceptionally, stay ahead of others, and avoid disappointing their parents especially when preparing for competitive exams. For many parents, the equation seems straightforward to get good grades then get an admission in a good college and that somehow helps them to get a good job having their future secure. Their intentions may come from love and concern, but when involvement turns into constant monitoring and micromanagement, students can lose their sense of autonomy and develop greater performance anxiety. On the other hand, emotionally supportive parenting can give students something far more valuable than constant academic pressure: confidence, independence, and the resilience to cope when they don’t succeed.

Ultimately, academic pressure does not exist in isolation. Parents too face expectations about being a good parent, meeting social standards, and balancing family responsibilities. This pressure can contribute to parental burnout and may unintentionally pass onto their children. Breaking this cycle begins with recognizing that success should not come at the cost of a student’s mental well-being.