As part of my Summer of many festivals - Eisteddfod, Greenman, Found Festival, Vegan Campout - I’ve had a stint at the fringe and I’m starting to grapple with the scary but exciting prospect of trying to write the best show I’ve ever written. That’s always the goal but it does tend to bob and weave in and out of focus like bats at dusk. I’m terrified, I think I’m done, I’ve peaked and then my partner gently reminds me I go through this dance literally every time I write a new show. We shall see… The tour is booked and my photoshoot is this week so I will have to pull it out my arse, like a spider with a web perhaps….

I’ll be popping into the Aberystwyth Comedy festival with a WIP and a free BBC Radio record this October. A heads up, since I started to type this the WIP has sold out and the BBC tickets are shifting fast because everyone loves free stuff, especially people from West Wales.

I’m going to be in Jersey in October too doing a WIP and I”m terrified nobody will come along as I’ve never gigged there before so I’m hoping I accidentally have a huge fanbase in Jersey!

If you’re in Cork and fancy seeing a WIP of the show I’ll be there in Feb. Again, 2/3rds of the tickets for that have shuffled out already so I’d politely advise to book soon.

All TIckets Here

We’re bringing our banging new material night back to Salford on September 21st. A nice deadline to show up with some new jokes and to hang out with pals who happen to be superb comedians. Said comedians include Tarot, Alison Spittle and Sikisa.

It’s only a fiver and even cheaper if you’re a concession. Come join us?

Yes I am the proud comedy teacher shrieking cheers over this bow.

This was at the end of the Gwneud, Make, Do Summer School this Summer and the gang had just performed nearly an hour of brilliant sketches they’d written in just four days. They’re like SNL!
The comedy school I co run in Llangefni goes from strength to strength and the Juniors who are attend are an incredible bunch of charismatic, funny, kind oddballs. The Seniors who are attend are exactly the same but they have their own bankcards (need to fact check that one).

We’re always looking for new members to join us to be silly and learn the ropes, build confidence and go and see comedy shows with us so if you know anyone in North Wales who might fancy joining us - SEND THEM OUR WAY!

Gwneud Make Do

I wrote a little thing about libraries if you’d like to read it?

It includes a picture of my library in progress, I’m determined to conquer that this Autumn so prepare for a glow up/no bare shelves.

Recommendations

Here are some things I’ve enjoyed this month:

To have -
Ok, this is the closest I get to bougie I think but I do love a little night time ritual. I think it’s cos my body and brain recognise all my weird little bits and tinctures and know they can finally rest - if they haven’t started shutting down already.

Things I do; cleanse and moisturise and all that jazz. Pjs on - I get the sleeves wet otherwise. Pillow Spray, diva. Rub some sleep balm into feet, Ok Mariah. Write in my diary, what am I Samuel Peeps? Then pass out totally. If I still have a bit more in the tank it’s a toss up between one of my by the bed books - another bit of writing for another time - and watching all the insta reels that are funny or kind that my partner has saved in his likes for me. He’s my algorhythm and I’m thrilled with it.

Anyway, here’s a link to a nice sleep balm for you or a pal you know needs to relax who also likes little jars of things on their nightstand. This is the one I use and I love it.

To hold -

My pal sent me one of these fans and it’s been HANDY this Summer. It’s got “Afiach” on it, my fav Welsh word. In fact I’m going to pop it in to my Welsh words for next month!
You can get them with loads of banging Welsh phrases so you can fan yourself silly under the banner of “iawn cont”. Perfection.

All the ffans are here.

To read - Mother Mary Comes to me - Arundhati Roy
This is an extraordinary book. I listened to this and I’m so glad it was read by the author, I’m not sure I would have believed some of it if it wasn’t laced with the twinkling intonations and matter of a fact delivery only an author can offer. This is a story of two extraordinary women often at War, deeply in love, never in peace and Mother and Daughter. She has such a beautiful friendship with words and writes with courage and love about her home.

That’s it for this month. Thanks for reading and enjoy soup season. X

I didn’t think I would have use for a public library as we have an office at home with a library in progress climbing one wall. My companion and I were using it as a neutral space to do some work together and I arrogantly assumed it would be dead and we’d have the place to ourselves to talk through the policy of appeasement and kinetic energy in peace. However, over the course of a couple of weeks and several hours I realised it is going off in the library. Don’t let the flat roof and deflated beanbag chairs fool you, this place is humming with activity and community.

This was new to me because growing up I lived too far away from a library to have it considered local. The nearest one would have been a 90 minute round trip on foot, obviously when you’re a kid there is no longer distance that you can imagine so that was off the list. Instead around about once a month the mobile library would shudder and creak into the village square and I would respectfully enter, head bowed like I was visiting a cathedral on holiday. I loved it in there and would come out with armfuls of Enid Blyton’s and piles of Roald Dahls. I could not believe that the powers that be would put all this treasure into a van and drive it to (near) my house. Incredible. The smell of what is essentially a caravan of books has stayed with me and if I’m honest I’d love to track down a scented candle named “local authority mobile library”. Come on Gwyneth Paltrow, use your powers for good on this one.

I think I had expected some of what I saw when I visited a bricks and mortar library, people returning books and asking for others but this transaction only accounted for around half of the folk I saw there. Here are some of my favourite things I saw in my time at the library:

• A man watching a POV video of a rollercoaster in Germany on the computer with the volume turned right up. He had headphones on but they weren’t plugged in and they sat around his neck as we all experienced the thrill of a European rollercoaster on mass. What a visual feast, for pudding he watched archived footage of Fred Dibnah climbing a big chimney. Just two incredibly wholesome videos I was forced to hear. I’m pleased to say that although I never found out that man’s name and couldn’t pick him from a line up this passing interaction nearly totally restored my faith in men.

• Home educated kids and kids below school age coming in absolutely buzzing to choose a new book. Some of them would proudly march up to the librarians waving their vanquished conquests around “I’ve done this one!” Before marching off and negotiating around how many fresh books they got to take home with their care giver. Seeing a kid haggle for more books made it feel like someone has inflating a balloon full of humanity in my chest and I loved it.

• Someone paying their council tax. Jesus, you can do anything here.

• A huge communal jigsaw laid out on the table. Jigsaws are my jam. They fill my brain as much as they do my table and the thought of one where everyone does a little bit is so lovely to me. I completed a small section of the sofa in the jigsaw in the library and when I came back two days later others had added to it. I now understand why people believe in God or a football team, it’s a lovely feeling to be part of something bigger than yourself.

How did I not know that Llangefni library was THE place to be?

Also, since finally breaking up with Spotify I was looking for a new place to listen to audiobooks. I don’t shop at Amazon so it felt daft to get an Audible account but enter stage left, BorrowBox. This is linked to my county’s library and I can borrow ebooks, epress and audiobooks. It was easy to sign up to and the Queens who work at the library talked me through everything when I hit a user error induced snag.

So, I now carry a mini version of my library on my phone.*

I’ve consumed more books this year than since I was a child and I’ve indulged in the company of Hilary Mantel on the big shop. I’ve allowed Sara Wynn Williams to chat to me on some road trips and I’ve stopped what I’m doing to stare into the middle distance as I listened to the Trauma Cleaner and Young Mungo.

I’ve also seen authors say the payment from libraries makes a huge difference to their income as it trickles in over the years and as a creative person who feels the AI generated walls closing in on opportunities to be paid for my labour I want authors to be paid.

A heads up, some popular titles have a bit of a wait till you can get them but I quite like the anticipation and I’ve discovered some delightful books whilst waiting for London Falling to be freed up.

So, this is my wee love note to libraries and also me coming out as a born again reader all thanks to my lovely library and how accessible they’ve made books and community for me. The more we use them, the more they have to fund them so don’t work in a coffee shop, head to a library and finish that bit of work while watching a middle aged man ride a roller coaster in another country, I can’t recommend it enough.

*Also I have now committed to having a giant communal jigsaw on my kitchen table and everyone who visits is drawn to it and I’ve found it really good for people with fizzy brains like mine.

Gŵyl

This word is pronounced a lot like the English word “Ghoul” but just give the “o” a longer sound, not like you find in “ book” but more like you’ve seen something you like and you’ve made an involuntary little “ohhh”.

It means “festival” and I bring it up because August is festival month in my diary; The National Eisteddfod, the Edinburgh Festival fringe, Vegan Campout, Found Festival, Greenman. There’s nowhere I won’t turn up and shake my sequins.

I have been working on a theory that Wales has the best festivals in the UK if not the World.

The Urdd, Hay Festival, Machynlleth Comedy Festival, Greenman, The National Eisteddfod, Aberystwyth Comedy Festival, Laugharne Weekender, Tafwl, Llangollen International Musical Eisteddfod, Denbigh Plum Festival, something for everyone. (DO NOT TELL ME OFF FOR NOT REMEMBERING YOUR FESTIVAL)

So, I want everyone to know if you fancy a gŵyl come to Wales!

Morlo

I used this word a lot last month on my little jaunt to Ynys Enlli. Môr is pronounced like the English word “more” (roll the r if you’re feeling fancy) and the “lo” is like the “lo” and the start of “long”. It means seal in Welsh and is made up of “môr” meaning “sea” and “lo” from “llo” which is Welsh for “calf”. Of course they’re little sea calves! With their beautiful, inky eyes and their chubby bodies.

A seal bobbing off the shore of Ynys Enlli.

They’re strewn across the rocks as you approach Enlli (aka Bardsey), a howling throng of blacks, greys and whites. I love that they perch on a rock in a banana shape- I’ve learned it’s because the thick blubber that keeps them warm is around their middle and that is most likely to touch the water. They keep their heads and tail out of the water as they don’t have as much insulation there and no one likes cold toes.

Euog

This word is always sloshing around my brain and it’s the word I most associate with Welsh. The “Eu” at the front is pronounced like the “ay” from ‘hay’ and the og is the “go” you find in “bog”.

It means “guilty” and it’s the feeling I’ve longest held in association with Welsh. These days you meet me as a proud but imperfect Welsh learner but growing up in a Welsh speaking area, with a first language Welsh Father with a smattering of incidental Welsh brought a great guilt over me. Even as a kid I remember a burning shame that I was unable to speak to my Nain in her first language. How can you not feel guilty when your Dad can’t freely converse with his siblings in their shared language because you’re in the room? The guilt set in and atrophied into shame and when I began to actively learn the language as an adult it was far harder to become a master of that guilt than it was to roll my R’s or find my way around a double ll sound.

These days I have a bit less euog, not because I speak Welsh to a higher standard and use it more frequently but because I’ve realised feeling guilty about the language doesn’t make me a better Welsh speaker so off it goes. I wouldn’t keep doing something else that actively hinders my relationship with the language so it needed to go.

Sych

Maybe one of my most used Welsh words when I’m using English?

It’s pronounced like “see” in English with the “ch” sound at the end, Don’t stress about that sound, it’s found at the end of “loch” and the start of “Hanukkah” (Chanukkah).

It means “dry” and I absolutely love describing a thing or person as sych. Boring meeting? Sych. Underbuttered sandwich? Sych. The normally lush and verdant fields that surround me in North Wales? Sych.

It’s hard to so obviously watch climate change ravaging the habitats and views I love and know very well. I do get overwhelmed about how much there is to fix in the world but I put nose down, keep trying to protect and preserve the land I live on and try my hardest not to bring it up at every social occasion and depress everyone around me. It’s a bit sych for smalltalk I think.

Cwch

This is a nice easy one to say, it’s “cooo” like the noise a pigeon makes with the “ch” sound from above on the end.

It means boat and I think it has a nice warm, enveloping sound which is exactly how you’d want to feel on a wee boat as it bobs across the waves. You can only reach Enlli - did I mention I went to Ynys Enlli in July? - by boat, unless you’re a puffin but even then it’s an option I reckon.

Colin is the boat’s pilot and he’s quite the character. He’s gruff, sych, charming, sarcastic, clever, funny, cultured and rude. Everything I love about the Welsh. Everyone knows Colin because he’s the only way to get to the island as a visitor and even in choppy conditions you feel so safe in his bright yellow cwch wrapped up against the elements in his expertise and dry asides.

So those are my August words, I hope you enjoyed them and a massive thanks to everyone who’s introduced me to new Welsh words this month including: corbwmpen and chwyrligwgan.

I am very grateful to live in my ramshackle house in this prolonged heat because oh boy does it stay cool. I’m not the only one who’s realised this as many an animal has been strutting into the kitchen to take advantage of the mushroom cave-like ambience we have in here. The baby dog loves to whack her gusset straight on the slate tiles, her little legs point directly out behind her, she looks like a hairy mermaid’s purse (new euphemism just dropped). The chickens, who love a good sunbathe, wing outstretched like a maitre d' showing you a wine, have started to come inside and peck about despite the kitchen’s natural gloom. It turns out that livestock and parties are similar, the kitchen is always where it’s going off.

Anyway, all this is to say the prolonged heat has really given me the heebie jeebies about what’s happening with the planet and the news is not helping. It feels hard to snatch a bit of joy and while I’m not an advocate for putting our collective head(s?) in the sand I do think that things that bring hope are really valuable. So, it’s the perfect time for Best Medicine to be back. If you haven’t listened before Best Medicine is a Radio 4 panel show I’m lucky enough to host. I have a bunch of clever guests (scientists, researchers, journalists, historians etc) and some not clever guests (comedians).

They all come on and pitch what they think the “Best Medicine” is and we have a laugh while we’re doing it. But, we also learn absolutely loads and I go away from every episode feeling so optimistic about the world. The good guys are out there and they’re using their brilliant brains and kind hearts to fix some of the problems we’ve created or are negotiating. So, if you need to feel a bit hopeful and you like learning things then you can listen live on Radio 4 every Wednesday at 6.30pm or listen whenever on BBC Sounds. There’s two previous series to binge on too, if you’re new to it. The more of you that subscribe/listen the more chance we have of making more. Go and have a listen and thank me later. I’ll thank you now; thank you.

Subscribe now

I’ve had a nice time introducing various young people in my life to horse riding. I was so lucky that I grew up with horses. Before my parent’s started farming my Dad was a Welfare Inspector for a equine charity and Mum was a riding instructor for Riding for the Disabled Association so we had various horses and ponies they’d collected over the years. Oh and a Donkey. I really miss having and riding horses and one day I hope my life makes room for it again.

In the meantime I can get far too much credit for taking lots of young people horse riding at a local stables. There’s a lovely video above this of one of my favourite people learning how to trot and I think it’s just magic.

All Killa no Filla.

If you’re new here/to me I co-host a true crime podcast with Rachel Fairburn called All Killa no Filla, it’s heavy on the Filla.
My favourite part of the whole machine that is All Killa are the live shows we do, they’re so fun and daft and we’ve got three huge ones this year.

August 25th - Edinburgh Fringe, Pleasance Grand.

It’s an enormous venue and we haven’t done the fringe in a few years but we have loved doing these shows so much we couldn’t stay away. We’ve also picked a doozie of a case to discuss.

October 25th - Manchester, Aviva Studios.

I keep hearing amazing things about this venue and the show’s nearly sold out already so it’s going to be a great night. Also, our listeners go EXTRA with the fancy dress so can’t wait to see what they have planned.

December 9th - Birmingham, Alexandra Theatre.

It’s been far too long since we did a live show in Birmingham so I’m glad we’re kicking off the festive period here. Have I already picked what I’m wearing, who can say?

We’re also doing a Valentine’s special in Glasgow next year if you like to be organised.

All AKNF tickets here.

Recommendations.

Here are some things I’ve enjoyed this month:

To Watch - Survival of the Thickest

This is the third series of Michell Buteau’s sitcom on Netflix and it’s super easy to watch and has fantastic outfits. It’s like if Emily in Paris was as funny as it thinks it is. Fun is actually really central to this show, even though it deffo deals with the big stuff, the series is such a nice place to spend time. Also, series like this - and Nobody Wants this - make me love my fiance more because I realise how like the romantic interests he is. Essentially, I think my partner is so wonderful it’s like a woman has written him.

To Listen - Record Retrieval Service

I’ve always valued friends in my life who can sniff out cool art and waft it in front of my nose. I love all the joy of new delcious cultural aquisition with none of the legwork. I’ve even got two people I follow on instagram specifcally because they share painters they love.

My go to for music is my pal Henry’s radio show. It’s called the Record Retrieval Service and it’s thoughtfully made with love and no ego, like all the best things. This latest episode has given me two new songs to love deeply and as he asks the listeners to spread the word, this is me fulfilling my side of the bargain.

You can listen here.

To Read - The Trauma Cleaner - Sarah Krasnostein
I’ve read eighteen books so far this year and this isn’t the book I most consistently recommend to people but it is the one I think about the most.

The headlines are it’s a non fiction book about Sandra Pankhurst, an impossibly glam woman who goes into people’s houses when they need an industrial clean; after a murder, extreme hoarding, some large and life changing event for the inhabitant(s). We meet her clients but Sandra is the real story, her life is extraordinary and I think about her so much. I listened to the book on Borrow box - audiobooks you borrow for free through your library, how amazing is that?- and I was so sad when it ended even though a lot of the story is very hard work. Can you read it so we can talk about it, please?

Thanks for reading my nonsense and if you want more from me I’ve got lots of new stuff going on instagram and my live dates are on my website.

Oh and if you have any ideas for merch for my tour please tell me! I don’t know what people like to buy/collect from shows they like and I don’t want to have to fashion a spare bed out of unsold mugs.

Diolch.

x

Egni

This is nice and easy to say, it’s pronounced like the English words “egg” and “knee” pushed together. It mean’s “energy” and that’s all I can think of as my garden and wee permaculture grows and heaves in front of me. The weather is pretty punishing for most and certainly my chaffed thighs, but this three days of heat, two days of rain pattern Mother Nature is trying on for size is doing wonders for everything green on my farm. I feel like I can hear things growing and in the case of the centre of a recently chopped spring onion I can definitely see it growing. The word “Egni” and not energy for some reason, keeps popping in my head as I move around picking and plucking my dinner. I hope you’re somewhere where you can feel the energy too. Oh god, I’m using the word energy a lot, I’m probably six months and one more work related knock back from identifying as a witch.

Gorffenhaf

This is the Welsh word for July and it looks harder to say than it is. The “Gor” is like the English word “Gore” into the English word “fen”, the wetland. Gorffen is Welsh for “end’ or “finish”. “Haf” is a beautiful word and is pronounced like the English word “halve”. It means “Summer” in Welsh and you may well find it has a Girl’s name too. So, the Sherlocks amongst you will have realised that “Gorffenhaf” means “The end of Summer”. My friend Esyllt, who’s first language Welsh, has converted me hard on July being the end of Summer and not the midpoint. If we ignore the terrifying spectral shadow of climate change traditionally July is where the plants start slowing down, seeding instead of blooming, and August is a time to gather the fruits of our labour, a month for harvest. Of course now lots of us can sunbathe into October which manages to be both a warming and chilling mental image.
So, enjoy the Summer because as far as the Welsh are concerned, it’s nearly over.

Mabolgampau

I’ve just learned this word, from an eight year old, and it’s rocketed into my top ten Welsh words. It’s lovely and bubbly and is far easier to say than it looks. “Mab” to rhyme with “drab”. The “ol” is like the one at the end of calpol. The last section is “gamp”, as it’s written, like the English word “camp” but with a “g” and the “au” is pronounced like the English word “eye”. It means Sports Day and I’ve been getting a full debrief of the highs and lows of the Mabolgampau from the young people in my life, mainly cos I get to use the word. It’s also used as a word for athletics. Now, I’ve snuffled around and I think I’ve found the etymology, I sort of don’t care if it’s wrong cos it’s so good. So, “mabol” isn’t used any more but if you spied “mab” in there like I did (son, child) you’re bang on. It used to be used as a word for “youthful” or “juvenile”. “Gamp” is a soft mutation from “camp” this means “a feat”. Slam them together and you get a “youthful feat” or, as we would say in English “a young person’s game”. Can you think of a better description of athletics, or sport’s day than “a young person’s game”? God, Welsh is so great.

Glöyn Byw

Full disclosure I don’t use this word but I will be now I’ve learned it! This is one of the many terms for "butterfly” in Welsh. I use “Pili Pala” this is pronounced as it looks, “pili” to rhyme with “silly” and “pala” is pronounced like the English word “pal” with the “a” sound of apple on the end. Apparently, it’s the South Walian term for butterfly so the only reason I can think that I hear it being used in North Wales is the popular attraction on my island “Pili Palas”, it’s been going since I was a kid and is a butterfly house but has since branched out into meerkats and zip lines. I have a year long pass as it’s a favourite with the kids I foster. Who doesn’t love an afternoon out where you can hold a rabbit, have a capri sun, look at a snake and do an assault course?

Back to the point. I say “Pili Pala” for butterfly but I’ve found two tremendous alternatives. Firstly, there’s “Iâr fach yr Haf”. “Iâr is like the “Yar” from the english word “yard”, if you like/you can roll the “r” at the end of the word. “fach”, is a mutation of “bach”, which is pronounced like the composers name (here’s where I find out I’m saying his name wrong…). “yr”is a bit like the middle bit of “church”, the “ur” but with a soft “r” sound on the end, again rolled if you can. “Haf “ is as above.

Iâr is the word for a chicken or hen, “fach/bach” is little and as you know “Haf” is Summer. Yep, the Welsh have called butterflies “Little chicken/hen of the Summer”. I could die this is so lovely. AND IT’S NOT EVEN THE BEST ONE!

Full disclosure I’ve only seen this written so I’m inferring the pronunciation, something you can have a decent stab at with a phonetic language like Welsh. “Glöyn” I think is to rhyme with “coin” and “byw” is the “b” from “book” and then the English “ew” as in something gross, don’t be tempted to drag out your “ew”, it’s only a short one.

“Byw” I knew anyway, it means “live” or “alive” but “Glöyn” was new to me. It means “coal” which means this old North Walian phrase for butterfly calls them “living coal”. I LOVE that. So many of the butterflies I see flapping around my garden are a heady mix of black and orange. They do look like flying embers as they zig zag their way through the flowers. Admirals, Painted Ladies, Tortoiseshell little slices of living coal. Stunning.

Sorry this month’s selection are so nature based, I’ve finally been able to slow down so naturally I’m looking around a lot more and teaching myself based on what I’m seeing. If you’ve got any Welsh words you think I’d like, pop them below.

It’s rare I do that and it’s gnawed away at a corner of my brain for weeks. Please accept this apology and I will swiftly move on, like I’ve said “bitch” on the news.

June seems to be marginally calmer but here I am sending this on the last day of the month, maybe everything gives the illusion of being a bit more manageable when the sun is out? Everything except moving in around the past week’s heat. I realise how poor a choice it was opting for sequins as a “look” in conditions like these.

As I’m trying to cook up a new tour show in my head I’ve tried to get out and about and watch more stuff as I continue to snuffle around looking for inspiration, like a pig for truffles. It’s sort of working too and that is what I tell my accountant when I claim back the cost of the tickets.
I went to see Theatr Clwyd’s production of Under Milk Wood and it was a good reminder of the importance of a clear aesthetic that speaks to the show and illustrated how accessibility can be integrated to elevate a production, it doesn’t have to be a “distraction”. I went to see a circus show and it made me think a lot about having a set on my next tour and how/if I could integrate sound and music. Last week I went to see Lily Allen and took away from that an increased pressure to have botox and the deep desire for four costume changes.

I’m enjoying this part of thinking about a tour when it’s not quite a blank page but things are still very open. The jokes are starting to move forward and the themes of the show are starting to drop into my head without much effort. I’ve gone from thinking I’ll never do stand up again to wondering if there really just might be a show in all these thoughts.
If you’d like to see me say these thoughts out loud / wiggle out of a third costume for no reason then I have some WIP shows coming up.

July 11th I’m at the Rosehill Theatre’s Comedy festival, I don’t think I’ll be touring in this part of the world so if you want to see some version of the show this might be your best bet. I’ve popped a link here.

October 2nd I’ll be at the Aberystwyth Comedy Festival, yes it’s ages away but it’s selling fast and it’s a small room so I’m mentioning it now.

You can grab a ticket here.

Next year I’m going to one of my favourite rooms to run the show out, Coughlans in Cork. I don’t think I’ll take the finished tour there so if you’re lucky enough to live in Cork come and see this WIP in February? It’s a very cheap Christmas present, which is something I pride myself on.

My BBC Radio Wales show, Kiri’s Comedy Club, is back for a new series and it’s probably the most varied one yet. I chat to the brilliant Steve Spiers in an icons episode, there’s a stand up showcase from Machynlleth, a profile on Ignacio Lopez, a chat about clowning plus I speak to a bunch of brilliant comedians who are also medical Doctors and catch up with the latest contingent of Welsh talent heading up to the Edinburgh fringe. You can listen on BBC Sounds to the entire back catalogue. New episodes will come out weekly on Thursdays at 6.30pm.

My wee comedy school continues to go from strength to strength and as I type I’m on a (delayed) train to watch the seniors shoot the short films they’ve written. The Juniors are blasting out fantastic stand up to standard and I can’t quite believe and they’re working on a showcase to their families at the end of term.

Speaking of the end of the term the seniors are going to perform at a gig in the magical tent at Tide on Ynys Môn in July. It’s a final hurrah before we adjourn until September and I’ll be hosting - and trying new bits - and we’ve got the fantastic Louise Young (Live at the Apollo) on as a headliner. It’s going to be such a fun night - the last one was a blast and sold out so grab a ticket. It’s only a fiver and the money goes to everyone performing except me. That’s not me pouting, that’s my choice, I just want you to know that when I push tickets it’s because I want to pay everyone else, not myself!

Grab yourself a seat here.

Recommendations.

Here are some things I’ve consumed and enjoyed this month*.

To read.
Do we read cookbooks or is that just Theresa May? It’s probably poor form to recommend a book you haven’t read yet but I loved this guy’s first cook book so much and it’s my go to one, I just know this will be fantastic. Richard is on instagram as School Night Vegan and he’s so good at creating vegan food you really want to eat. The cookies in his first book are my go to when I’m baking with kids and earlier this year we made the vanilla slice and I still think about it a minimum of three times a week.

To listen.
Pipeline. I first heard about this podcast when it won an award at the True Crime Awards, clang. It’s an amazing night but the best bit about hosting is is all the amazing podcast recommendations I saunter away with. Pipeline is an extraordinary and tragic story that lead to an actual change in the world.

To watch.
I went to see Ed Easton - of Tarot - in One Man Musical last night at the Soho Theatre. It’s so good. Flo and Joan are just fantastic and I think they don’t get near enough credit for how sharp their writing is and how prolific they are. This show, One Man Musical, was the talk of the fringe two years ago with George Foreacres as “The Man” and loved it so I was so giddy to see Ed put his own spin on it. He’s fantastic and there’s heaps of new bits in it so even if you’ve seen it before there’s plenty to get from it. It’s at Soho Theatre till Friday night and then it’s at the fringe for the month.

*I also consumed and enjoyed a blue slushi with a double vodka in it at the Lily Allen show and honestly, what a perfect set of bedfellows that was.

April is a real game of two halves in Wales. Much of the first half is spent weeping and asking “when will Winter end?”. But as we edge towards May and the sun shows up we remember why we’re lucky to live in such a beautiful country. Eventually the horizontal, grey rain that’s dominated the past five months becomes a strange abstract memory, like adverts from your childhood.

Here are some lovely Welsh words I’ve been collecting I’d like to share with you.

Dant y Lllew / Blodau Pi’pi’n gwelly - Dandelion

Dandelion has two lovely Welsh names and one is a clear fav for me.

Dant y Llew means “Tooth of the Lion”. They do look like little sunny lions with their shaggy petals. However, it sounds a lot like “Dandelion” so I wonder if it influenced the English, like Penguin?

Dant is said like ant but with a D at the front. Y is the “U” sound in up and means the. Llew has a sound people find tricky, the double ll. It’s best achieved by pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth and pushing the air along the sides of the tongue, sort of imagine saying L while you do it and I think the sound will come out right. The “ew” portion of llew I can’t find a soundalike in English so I’ll break it down a bit. The “E” is like you haven’t heard someone and you’ve gone “eh?” And the “W” is the sound from the start of worst. I’ve made it sound harder than it is.

Another name for Dandelions and my preferred option is Blodyn pi-pi’n (pisio) gwelly. It literally means “piss the bed flower”.

Blod - like “plod” but with a b - and the yn is pronounced like the English word “in”. Pi pi, like the English “pee pee” and pisio is the word “piss” with ‘yo” on the end, but not the word yo, more like the yo you find in yoghurt. “Gwelly” is a lovely word, it means bed in Welsh and it’s pronounced like “welly” but with a G in front of it, the g sound you have in “gun”.

Dandelion’s are a diuretic so this has a real “say what you see” vibe. Also what a way to find out dandelion and burdock is as medicinal as it tastes.

Milfeddyg - Vet

This is a great example of a great “cut and shut” Welsh word.

Mil is Welsh for a thousand, it’s pronounced like eel but with a M thrown in front. Feddyg is a mutation from meddyg, the fe is pronounced like the ve at the start of the English word “vegetable” the ddyg section of the word is pronounced like the English word “dig” but the d has been replaced by the “th” sound. Meddyg means Doctor so together a vet in Welsh is “A thousand Doctors”, which is why I love this word.

I think Wales’s intrinsic link to agriculture is all over this language and I love it. Most swear words are agricultural, or an accusation of being workshy, a sin indeed.

If animals are your livelihood then what would the person who can treat them be worth? Why a thousand doctors of course!

Or perhaps it’s because Vets need to be Doctors for a thousand species? Either way I love it.

Merlota - Pony Trekking

This is a lovely word to say. It’s like saying the wine Merlot but you roll the R in the middle and swap the t for a “ta” sound, like you’d find in the word “tap” in English.

It’s from the Welsh for pony, Merlyn, (you say that one like Merlin the wizard but with a rolled r in there) and Merlota means pony trekking and although I’ve never used it in conversation I will always remember it.

Years and years ago, maybe a decade? I was still living in England and asked for some Welsh lessons as a Christmas present. I was duly booked on to a week long course in January and like much of my Welsh learning it was me and a group of very diligent retirees who knew exactly what a conjugated verb means in English and were happy to identify them in Welsh, I still have no fucking idea what they are in either language and don’t try and make me learn, I simply won’t. Anyway, a familiar pattern was English retirees enthusiastically learning the language for years and years, knowing all the rules and memorising all the exceptions to the rules and then sounding utterly shit when they did speak Welsh. I on the other hand have a North Walian accent when I speak my deeply imperfect Welsh which papers over the widest of cracks in my grammar. No shame on either side, we’re all enjoying learning the language.

The one thing I recall from this particular course was a lady saying she imagined little pictures of words to retain them and when she heard merlota she imagined someone on a fat little pony raising a glass of merlot. Since that moment I’ve never forgotten the word Merlota so I raise a glass to her memory technique.

Cnoi - Chew

In this word the C actually has a “K” sound and the “noi” is pronounced in the same way as the “noi” in noise.

I think it’s a funny old word that you sort of have to chew a bit when you say it. Also, I like it for shallow reasons, it’s a new “hoffi coffi” in a way because Cnau is nuts so you can say cnoi cnau and it’s very pleasing. Cnau is pronounced with the same “K” sound and the “nau” is like the English “eye” with an “n” in front; the “n” from numb.

A very chewy, crunchy collection of words together and I love it.

Throw me some other Welsh words to collect in the comments. Nature words appreciated in particular.

In Wales we are electing members to the Senedd (Welsh Parliament) and it’s neck and neck between Plaid and Reform. Most of my adult life I’ve felt totally let down by election results so I’m very worried, hence the bunny bum.

I’m also feeling a bit lost about what to do, my instinct is always to try and fix things (wobbly drawers, clasps on jewellery, problematic men in my twenties) but at the same time what can any one person do? You try and have the chats one on one and live by your moral compass but - sorry to sound like the most boring man at a house party - you’re up against rather a large network of billionaire owned corporations and systems. It makes you want to give up. I find my head spiralling down in this direction frequently if I’m honest but the only thing that can jolt me out of it is starting small and trying to change wee things where I can. Long story short I messaged Deborah Frances White of the Guilty Feminist podcast, called in some favours from comedians, icons and musicians I know and now we’re doing a huge show in Cardiff this Sunday.

I’ve tapped up the skills of the true Queen of Wales, Carol Vorderman. What a woman she is and I can’t wait to hear what she has to say about Reform… We’ve got Priya Hall being hilarious and some other belting performances lined up. We put this show together with very little time and hundreds of folk are coming along which I think is a good sign? Come along this Sunday if you want a fascinating, uplifting night that I’m crossing my fingers will give us all a bit of hope because I think without it we have no chance.

Cardiff Tickets

Free stuff you say?

Speaking of hope, I’m delighted that the panel show I host for Radio 4, Best Medicine, will be back! Working on Best Medicine really is the best medicine, I end up meeting so many clever people who are changing the world and it absolutely fills my cup. The recordings are a blast too. If you haven’t listened to the show before the first few series are in most places you listen to podcasts, I’ll link here.

Much to my chagrin the live shows are all being recorded in London - I promise I asked for elsewhere - if you’re in the area and want to be in the audience of the record I have popped a link below to some free tickets. If you can’t make it, worry not the series will be out later this year.

Best Medicine Tickets

All Killa no Filla is coming to the Fringe for one night.

Against all my better judgement I’ll be popping up to the Edinburgh fringe for an All Killa no Filla show on August 25th. If you’ve been reading my nonsense for a while you’ll know I have as tense a relationship with the fringe as I do with the actual fringes I’ve cut into my own hair. Both negatively effect my appearance and bring out the worst in me and yet I persist.

We haven’t taken AKNF up for a few years and I’m really excited to be back and in THE best big venue, The Pleasance Grand. I’m hoping all the lovely memories I have from performing there and seeing great stuff in that room will make up for the long drive / one million pounds I will spend on the train up.

AKNF Tickets Here

Free tickets in Cardiff.

What Just Happened, the topical comedy panel show I’m a team captain on is back! As I said, it’s the run up to the Senedd elections which I’m sure, editorially, will be an absolute walk in the park… Every week there will be a different line up but I’ll be there with Robin on every show. Also, I lost the shirt I’m wearing in the press shot below and I’m forever gutted, I got it free at a Swap don’t Shop too so that feels extra painful.

If you’d like to be in the audience for the recordings they’re all taking part in Cardiff every Wednesday. If you want to be in one of those audiences and see what we weren’t allowed to include in the show then book a free ticket below. Yep free, you just have to laugh indiscriminately at my jokes which is actually a very high price to pay.

WJH Free Tickets

Machynlleth Comedy Festival.

If you haven’t been to this comedy festival it’s like Glastonbury for people who are obsessed with James Acaster. The beautiful mid-Wales town of Machynlleth becomes home to thousands of comedy nerds, the smallest fraction of which will be performing there. It’s a very nourishing weekend and I really missed it last year while I galavanted around Australia. I’m making up for it this time with, at present, nine shows over three days. It’s a real smorgasbord of stuff but the weirdest has got to be the show Tarot and I are doing, Mach for Good. Yep, we’re becoming Take That for one night only complete with live band. We’re inviting some of our favourite pals to sing their very own tribute to the Fab Five (then four, then three) and it’s going to be daft. We haven’t publicly announced the line up yet but as a teaser I will tell you we have a great line up including Spencer Jones, a super group of female comics and a cameo from comedy royalty.

Book a ticket here

Recommendations

Here’s a little list of things I’ve enjoyed recently. I’m not being paid for any of this but if anyone wants to throw me money to lie about products it’s really the only reason I did ten years on the comedy circuit, I just wanted a life of plugging dog treats and sex toys. For the absence of doubt “plugging dog treats” are not themselves a sex toy.

To stay -

By The Wye.

I’m writing this in the dreamy smog of having just returned from a wee holiday in Wales. You may or may not know that I’m very lucky to co-host a podcast called Pod of Wales. Esyllt Sears and I go on holiday all around Wales and make a podcast about it, it’s really great. Visit Wales help us decide where to go and we’ve visited, eaten and slept in some absolute corkers. There’s only one place I booked to stay in again before I’d even left and it’s where I’ve just come back from. It’s called By the Wye and Dawn and Steve who run it with their son Dan are the most charismatic, passionate and practical people I’ve ever met. They’re amazing hosts and there’s something very special about nodding off in a cosy tent with both a woodburner and river roaring away and then waking up to the sound of a woodpecker in the trees above.

I also booked for my Brother and his family and my niece had a phenomenal time running free in the woods and inspecting all the fairy houses when she wasn’t busy playing the wooden drum kit.

To eat -

Harry’s Nut Butter

You had me at Nut Butter but then you kept me at the jar of paprika peanut butter I waded through in about a week. I can’t remember where I first got this - I think it was the farm shop at the Hawarden Estate - but I take my peanut butter very seriously and this is now my favourite. I bought a kilo tub of it and another of the pumpkin seed flavoured one too, they are both exceptional. Did I also order one of every flavour of the truffles too? Who can say because ultimately there are no truffles left now so I guess we’ll never know.

To follow -

Ed Easton

You may or may not know I’m an offstage member of a sketch group called Tarot. This is made up of the kindest and funniest people I know, one of whom is Ed Easton. He’s been writing the Lion’s share of the sketches for years in Tarot and he’s such a brilliantly funny performer. Tarot is on a sort of live performance hiatus as we’re being swallowed up by a BIG PROJECT which probably won’t go anywhere... Anyway all this means Ed has had a his usual level of funny but nowhere to put it so he’s started doing more funny stuff on Instagram and it’s so brilliant. He’s just gone viral with a bonkers, existential song about his septic tank and if you like silly, dark, funny stuff then I’d recommend following him.

I think claiming people to be Welsh based on a tenuous link is a pastime the Welsh should be more broadly known for. We have a natural predisposition to it, like singing and the desire to talk about death. I’ve heard Welsh people claim famous folk for the most tenuous of reasons, a Mother is from Wales but you were born and raised in Melbourne? You’re Welsh, Kylie. Born in Wales but raised in England and repeatedly said you don’t identify as being Welsh? Unlucky Dawn French AND Christian Bale, you’re on the rugby team. If Fred West’s Mum had enough caravan holidays in Pembroke I swear we’d claim him too, anything for clout.

I think March feels especially Welsh to me because the Daffodils are showing up in all their camp* glory. I always smile when I see daffodils, in that respect they’re the dogs of flowers. Never seen one I haven’t grinned at.

I also think there’s something very Cymraeg (Welsh) about lambing season which we find ourselves in the thick of in March, it was a staple of my childhood. If Wales is going to take the slings and arrows of having an affinity with sheep and the sly stereotypes that are wedded to that, then they should also get to bask in the bucolic glory of being associated with frolicking, bucking lambs playing in a field. Now I’ve typed this I’m not sure this is a fair trade off for being heckled with “BAAAA” for the first five or so years of doing comedy when I’d mention I was Welsh.

Anyway, here are some words I’ve learned, that feel a bit March-like that you might like.

Mis Mawrth

Mis is pronounced like meece, to rhyme with peace, Mawrth is sort of the “mou” from mouth with what I like to call a “Welsh R” after it, ie you roll it a bit. This used to be tricky for me but persistence is key, it sort of ends up sounding like “errr”. You know the err you might exaggerate if someone picks up your coffee and drinks it. Or the first bit of “early”. When you crack it the the “r” in Mawrth is a nice bridge to the final “th” sound which is as in English.

Is it a cheat to include the Welsh name for “March” in the March edition of this? Nah, I’ll allow because I write this and I can.

I think this is a nice easy one to learn as a dysgwr (learner) as it looks enough like English to stick in your head. Mawrth can change a wee bit depending on the word you pair with it. Mis, the Welsh for month, gives you the month of March. Dydd Mawrth gives you Tuesday, Dydd meaning Day and pronounce Dee (like the river) with a “th” on th end to rhyme with breathe.

I love that Dydd Mawrth and Mis Mawrth are sort of linked because I think March does have such a Tuesday vibe, we’re getting going, we’re still knackered but it’s not a Monday so chin up.

Marwth on its own is the planet Mars too which I’m less on board with. For entirely unscientific reasons and pure vibes I feel like Mars is more of a May guy but I can’t really explain why but, the planet is cold when people assume it’s going to be warm so March does track with Mars in that respect.

Other than that I think it’s likely Latin influencing the Welsh but that’s as far as my explanation (knowledge) goes.

Cennin Pedr

Cennin is pronounced as it’s written with the first bit sounding like “Ken”,  the name that has been weirdly decommissioned. The “in” is just like the English . Pedr is again how it’s written - God Bless this phonetic language. Ped like “ped egg”, I always regret not getting one of those but I reckon periodically emptying it of the foot parmesan would send me under. The “r” on the end is another rolled r but I think in this instance if you were struggling you could quickly say “ear” and people would understand you which I think is the aim.

This is the Welsh for Daffodil! It mean’s Peter’s (Pedr) Leek (Cennin).  I can’t really find a clear reason why, there’s something to do with identifying soldiers in battle - the Welsh wore Leeks on their helmets to identity one another at a glance. In a futuristic head nod to food scarcity the Welsh were meant to have run out of their traditional leeks and ended up using the daffodils as a replacement as their leaves looks similar. I can’t find the origin of the name but I have found the origin of substitutes in online supermarket shopping.

Sometimes you will see the spelling or hear it said Cenhinen (Bedr) that’s the singular. You pronounce that Ken and the “hin” is as you’d expect, like “hinge”. The “en” is the like the start of “end”.

Sglyfach.

This looks scarier to say than it is. the first bit is said “s-glove” (their ain’t no party like an s-glove party). You’re going to just pop on an s sound on the front of the word glove and the last is the “a” for apple sound with the “ch” sound you find in Welsh or at the end of loch.

This is a very fun insult where I’m from and its severity depends on delivery and context. It sort of means a really disgusting person. So, if someone does that thing where they hold one nostril shut and fire their snot out the other side, they’re a sglyfach. The dog’s farted? Sglyfach. It can have a heavier meaning where you mean someone disgusts your very being. That’s the context I heard it in most recently on a documentary describing the abuse my headteacher committed on a documentary (a story for another day). I mention this because it shows you the breadth this word covers, from farting dogs to the very worst prededators. A word for all seasons but I’m giving you it now, in Spring.

Ton/Tonnau

This is as it reads with the “on” being like the English, so it should rhyme with Don. Tonnau is the plural using “au” which is pronounced “eye”. Au is used to pluralise loads of stuff in Welsh so a useful one to crack.

Ton means a wave and tonnau means waves. I think it’s especially evocative because of the hardness of the sound of the words and how it changes slightly with the pluralisation. Wave in English I think has a softness to it, you sort of ride up the “a” sound and drift down the “ve” at the end. Ton is dense sounding, like a big wall of water slapping the streets of Aberystwyth when the wind whips in. Tonnau feels softer again, like a collection of waves on a spring day just doing their thing.

I don’t know why I feel like this about the words and their sounds but I just do and it’s probably going to lead to someone diagnosing me to something so I look forward to that.

If there’s any Welsh words you want to share with me, please do!

*Don’t think Daffodils are camp? Please refer to one of my favourite Freddie Mercury quotes. When asked about his sexuality he said “I’m as gay as a daffodil, my dear”.

Back to the hair, let’s talk types. I don’t know what my hair is, I suspect wavy? The actual hairs themselves are very fine but there are LOTS of them. It’s flat at the roots and the volume is in the ends.
I also dye my hair darker and lighter (On the same head? A visionary) and have done since I was sixteen so you better believe parts of my hair are damaged enough for me to endeavour to have a romantic relationship with them in my twenties.

If I spend time on a beach on a horse (not sure why it needs those two as a combo) my hair turns into ringlets. I don’t have the kind of lifestyle where I can pop on a pony and head to the dunes when I want to look naturally tousled for a wedding so I thought I’d list the things that have helped my hair, on the cheap, for the days when I want to not blow dry it into some approximation of straight.

Seanik - Shampoo Bar - Lush - £10

I love a shampoo bar. As someone who’s perpetually worried about every piece of plastic they use and which turtle’s mouth it will block up I’ve long been partial to a bar. They travel really well in those wee tins and take up less space than even a small bottle of shampoo which is great for someone like me who often lives out a suitcase.

There’s no sulphates and parabens, I do not know what this means but confidentially say it. I did the same with the word “furlough” for about 7 weeks and I got away with that.

I especially like it when I swap out something that isn’t good for the planet for something that is kinder and it’s still effective, when it’s better I’m over the moon. Shampoo bars are that for me, I’d never go back. Conditioner on the other hand….

So, I was using Lush’s Montalbano or as I professionally call it “the one with the lemon”, it has a piece of lemon on the top. It’s main job was to make my hair shiny and it did. When I stopped using heat on my hair I knew I needed to think about the products I was using so I went in and chatted to a guy in Lush Liverpool. Just try NOT talking to the staff in there, they buzz off being helpful and in turn I loved to be helped. I told him I wanted to wear my hair wavy, I wanted a shampoo that supported that but I still wanted shine, enter stage left, Seanik. He explained the salt would help with curls and volume and there was loads of seaweed and delicious stuff in there to make it hydrating. It sounded like a day on a horse on a beach in a bar, perfect. He explained he used it on his curly hair and lowered his head an told me I should touch it, I politely declined. I later heard him spinning out that he’d been weird and asked a woman he didn’t know to touch his hair. If you’re reading this, don’t worry, you’re not on a bad guy list and if you were that will have no effect your social or economic standing in any way, you might even end up President.

Anyway, the bar really delivers and I so appreciate the shine and volume that I still use it on days I’m not planning on wearing my hair wavy.

The Bouncer - Universal Diffuser - Drybar - £5, Vinted

A slight cheat here as this is about £30 new but there’s loads on Vinted still in their boxes.

I’m new to the life of diffusing and good lord is it boring. I was also finding out the hard way that when you stay at a hotel a diffuser is as rare as semen free curtains (also in a hotel) but you can’t always work around their being no diffuser like you can with the curtains*.

So, I decided to buy a diffuser that was likely to fit on most hotel hairdryers. The Bouncer by drybar was being pushed hard. I hate the name of it because it sounds likes it’s going to say I can’t have wavy hair if I’m wearing trainers or I’m too drunk and those are my favourite pre requisites to drying my hair.

I’m so addicted to getting second hand bargains that when I see something I want - new to the world - I always sniff around eBay and vinted first. Nine times out of ten it’s there and far cheaper than buying it new. I don’t keep boxes so I couldn’t give a shit that the corners are damaged and I’d much rather send a real person £6 than give a chain shop £29.99.

So this is a slight cheat in that brand new this diffuser is around the £30 mark but I recommended it to a pal who paid £7 for hers on vinted and I had a gander now and there’s one on Vinted for £8 in the box.

So far it fits all the hairdryers** I’ve tried it on and it’s much easier to throw in a bag than a whole hairdryer set up.

My hair is noticeably bouncier with more curls when I use it and with a bit of volume spray in the roots it gives it the nice round shape I’m after. If left to it’s own devices my roots are flatter than the earth is claimed to be and it’s a very unflattering vibe. A bit of diffusing in the roots gives it nice movement and a shape I can play with/arrange depending on how I’m feeling about fringes or my blonde streak that day.

*Put a shoe on each hand and using hand-feet to open and close the curtains.

** Not a Dyson but if you can afford one of them, or a hotel that has one then you’re probably not getting your diffusers on vinted, or aware of who I am.

Enhance and Perfect Curl Cream - The Curl Company - £8.99, Boots (probably cheaper on Amazon but if you’re shopping there give your head a fucking wobble).

A wise friend with actual curls said this was the dog’s bollocks and I’m struggling to disagree. I throw it on my hair when it’s a wet but not soaking and it locks in the moisture but doesn’t weigh the hair down. I still have to pop something on my roots because they are weak little bitches who collapse like a Jane Austen character if given a chance but this cream is really great at giving hold and moisture but never crunch. Crisps, carrots and fizzy drinks, happy with a lot of crunch, I don’t want it on my hair. It smells nice too, which I didn’t think I was bothered about but I have a refresh spray that smells like men from the 90s and I try my best to avoid using it as a result. It’s effective but I just keep thinking my hair will ask me if Triple H is my favourite wrestler or start reading Nuts magazine when I use it.

I picked up a smaller, similar product from the same company as this at Church Home Bargains yesterday for a couple of quid so will report back soon.

Mix and Fix bundling curly hair spray - Wow Colour - £15 travel size

Maybe this is also a cheat cos it’s the travel size and I bought the big one from Sally’s at the end of last year but I do believe in trying smaller versions of stuff while you work out what agrees with your hair type. It’s cheaper and if you’re like me I’ll use stuff I think is rubbish out of spite and the desperation to recycle.

How you like the texture of your hair is deeply personal but for my hair on my head I don’t like the hard, crispy look so I haven’t had much luck with mousses and gels. Creams are a generally too heavy, oils make my hair greasy, both work beautifully on my partner’s ringlets though, in particular Welsh brand Olew.

This spray goes on straight out the shower on to your wet hair and then I whack it up in a microfibre towel and just leave it till I’ve done my body and face moisturising. Then diffuse etc.

It gives me shiny waves and curls that hold all the day. I don’t know how it works but it just does for me. I also think you can’t use too much of it which can be the balancing act with waves and curls. The perfect amount creates stunning hair, a spritz or pump too far a you look wet and limp for most the day, like a salad that hasn’t travelled well. I’ve yet to hit tipping point with this spray.

I hope this was useful although I’m aware that hair is so deeply unique and personal. Maybe you’ll find something useful in here or maybe you’ll take this for its primary intention and tell me my hair looks good.

Everyone I speak to is reminding me that we’ve had 50+ days of continuous rain in Britain. What a way to find out it’s not normal for it to rain everyday in Britain. Like when someone famous dies and you’d bet money they were already dead anyway. I’m looking at you Cher’s Mum.

Having said that, I am bored to the tits of grey days, muddy boots and the rise of fascism. I’m very ready for spring and I think it’s sneaking in. My creased and chapped face has had some sun on it in the last fortnight and my rescue chickens are pumping out so many eggs we’ve run out of people to give them to. It’s rare to come to our house and not have a box of eggs forced into your hands but we’re running out of visitors. I’ve got my fingers crossed for some Jehovah’s Witnesses so I can free up some work surface space.

I love Spring and it’s cold sunny days and flowery outbursts. It’s a good reminder “This too shall pass” and the “this” is Welsh Winters. It’s a good time to be thinking about changes and fresh starts because, despite my protestations, I am writing new jokes and I am approaching the feeling of missing doing stand up. I’ve got some WIP shows at the Glasgow Comedy Festival later this month and I’m now actually looking forward to them. If you want to come and see if I was right to look forward to them; Saturday is sold out but there’s still tickets left for Friday the 20th of March if you fancy it. Hilariously I just checked the website and there’s a bit where you can list any content an audience might need to know about and give them a heads up. I only have “swearing” in mine because when I submitted this I didn’t - and still don’t - have even a vague idea about what the show will be but I do know it will have swearing in it.

If this works and I’ve pressed the right buttons you’ll be getting this from my new Substack. I’ve soft launched with a nice wee article about Welsh words but who knows, I might get hammered and end up publishing a list of predators in comedy for the clicks.

At the moment everything on my Substack is free but I am going to build a paid bit, I’m just getting my ducks in a row. If you’ve followed me or what I do for any length of time you’ll know I don’t usually paywall stuff but I wanted to lay out what I’m doing and why there will be a paid subscription element. Firstly, if anyone wanted a paid subscription but their circumstances mean they can’t pay, all good, we’re setting it up so you can just email and we’ll give you a free one.

In the paid bit I’m going to be sinking a lot more time and resources into, including longer video content which at the moment looks like it will need a specific producer/editor. As my industry is in free fall paid subscriptions would help cover that cost cos it’s not my vibe to ask folk to work for free, it also would hopefully mean that it secures the future of what I’m doing at the frequency I want to do it because sadly I’m at a point that comedy can’t do that anymore. I’ve been chilled by the amount of chats I’ve had with other (female) comedians about quitting a retraining in something else. Award winning, critically acclaimed, tv named comics looking at starting over because the industry as it is has eroded their choices. Anyway, that’s another article for another day, perhaps? A big reason for having a paid subscription bit is a friend saying to me “It’s ok to expect to be paid for the work that you do”. A reminder I need at least monthly. I’m sure other people with jobs in the arts, deemed non essential and “fun” struggle with how to value themselves or their work, throw in a complicated relationship with money that defines most my earliest memories and you’ve got an absolute headfuck. The fact I’ve written all this when “I’ve got a paid subscription starting, how cool is that” would have done sort of tells you everything. Well, everything but the fact the paid subscription will have far more about my personal life and home on it by nature of what it covers and there’s a not small part of me that wants to hide that a little from weirdos and enemies.

Here is a little list of things I like at the moment.

Here’s a little corner I have to talk about things I like or am excited about.

Normally this corner is me recommending things from people I don’t know, and has nothing to do with me, but full disclosure I sort of have skin in the game with all these recommendations.

To Read - The Coastal Almanac.

I’ve preordered two copies of this because I want to keep one and give another as a gift. Also, as the author is my pal, Jess Lea Wilson, I know how preorders are really helpful to authors so on to the pre order link we all must march.

I’ve never seen Jess be involved with anything that isn’t thoughtful, fair and brimming with good taste. She’s worked so hard on this book, her third, and I can’t wait to read it cover to cover. I have some shelves in my library (a room with a bookcase in) just for books my friends have written and it gives me so much joy to see what a talented bunch of people I have in my life. I can’t wait to hold Jess’s Coastal Almanac in my hands and to finally understand what an almanac actually is.

Preorder Here

To Eat -

This is exciting, I have a discount code for you! Maggie who runs Maggie’s African twist is a real Superwoman. Not only does she have a super talented son, who’s an amazing bilingual rapper - check out Sage Todz - she’s also a really cool chef who makes banging sauces and seasoning, always champions global majority producers and makers and has written some really great cookbooks.

She knows my partner is obsessed with her hot sauce so she sent me a discount code for it and said I can share it with you guys. How does she know he’s obsessed? Well, last year I bought him a litre bottle of it from her after seeing her at a produce fair and he finished the bottle in three days. Wild behaviour from a man I have to share a toilet with. I asked him for this what his top 3 bits are and it’s: The original chilli sauce, Naija This and That spice and Maggie’s Hot and Sweet African sauce.

Anyway, I’ve just bought a load from her, it’s also great as gifts and everything is packaged in glass and tin so recyclable. The code is KMAT10 if you’d like to treat yourself and support a fantastic Welsh business. For the record I’m not getting paid for this, just sharing the love (but I have already used the code. Twice.).

Maggie's African Twist

To Listen to - The Anglesey Vampire Killer, BBC Sounds.

Now, weirdly it’s rare that I listen to true crime, it’s a bit of a busman’s holiday for me and I think there’a lot of very unhelpful, bigoted stuff out there with a real lack of morals. However, Meic, who made the incredible Crossbow killer for the BBC, is not that kind of cowboy. He’s local, diligent and really sensitive. I pop up in this series but I’m amazed they use our chat where I basically grilled him on whether or not the podcast was the right thing to even do. Meic’s work is always authentically North Walian and done with loads of integrity. I’ve really enjoyed - not the right word - the first two eps and I hope you do too.

Have a listen here

I love collecting new Welsh words, it reminds me of my days of playing Zelda on the SNES. You get to that sweet spot in the game where you open up your armoury and you have so many potions and weapons to use and as a result the game is far easier even though the challenges keep coming. I feel like I’m at that stage with my Welsh and collecting words is one of the things that keeps me invigorated. So, I’m going to share a few words I’ve collected this month or I wish to share.

Crempog

(As it sounds. “Crem” like the start of of cremation and “pog” like the things you used to collect in school if you’re a geriatric millennial).

This is the Welsh word for pancake and a clear example of a word that’s better in Welsh than English. Crempog sounds like food found in a Roald Dahl book and you just knows it’s going to be delicious. Pancakes are nice but I reckon I could have three, max. You’re serving crempog? Then I will have six to start and we’ll go from there.

Also bonus fact from my friend Esyllt, Crempog is one of those words that was Welsh first before it became English (Penguin is the most famous of these). Apparently, crumpet derives from it, I knew there was a reason crumpet was such a good word.

Calon

(As it looks, “cal” like calendar and “on” like the word on)

It means heart, you’ll sometimes hear “galon” because certain letters mutate in Welsh depending on what comes before them.

As February is a romantic time of year in England I thought I’d throw this in. I think it has a lovely look to it as a word. Some of my favourite calon related words are:

Digalon.

Di (pronounced like the River Dee) in front of a word in Welsh is a bit like “un” or “in” is used in English in that it sort of flips the meaning so digalon is to be disheartened.

Calon-galed.

Galed means hard so it means to be hard of heart, it’s a metaphor for being unfeeling, it’s nothing to do with artery disease.

Maethu

“Mae” said like like the month, “May” and thu is pronounced like “thee” but to rhyme with flea.

This word I use a lot because it means to “Foster” so in my Welsh lessons when I explain what I do for the local council and why I’m there I use the term “Maethu”. It did pop up in another area of my life too, quite by surprise and made me fall madly in love with the word.

“Para Maethu”, pronouncing the para as you would in English, is the Welsh for permaculture, something I’m endeavouring to start with my brother on my small farm. More on that later/a whole other section.

Para in Welsh means to last or prolong and Maethu in this context means to nourish something. How beautiful is that? The principals of permacultures speak to protecting, investing and rebuilding land, wildlife and communities and Para Maethu is such a romantic phrasing for that. To continue to nourish.

Also, using Maethu to mean nourish is exactly how I see my role as a foster carer, you’re there to protect, rebuild and invest so this young person can flourish and grow, it’s perfect.

Eirlys

“Eir” sort of ay - like “ay up”- “er”, as in “er, isn’t there an accepted way of doing this that doesn’t involve your mad phonetics, Kiri”. And lys, like like list without the t.

It’s Welsh for snowdrop, this little flower is such a trouper for showing up with grace and enthusiasm in the snow and in the case of my farm, chicken shits. Eirlys is a lovely girl’s name too. It comes from the Welsh for snow “Eira” combined with a very old Welsh word for flower, “lys”.

If you have any Welsh words you want me to know about please put them in the comments below because I love to collect them.