Who does God want you to become? Have you ever stopped and asked? When you pray, do you ask God to make you who you want to be — or do you ask that His will be done in your life?

Many people, when they pray, treat God like Santa Claus. They spend their entire prayer asking God to give them things from the long list of what they think will make them happy. Now, they do have a better chance of getting these things from God than Santa, because one is real and one is not — or, you may be saying to yourself that neither of them are real? If that is the case, I invite you to stop reading now because the rest of this essay isn’t going to make sense to you.

God will provide some of the specifics that we pray for. He will also withhold certain things. Why? Because He knows what is best for our highest good — we do not.

How many times have you set the intention to manifest something in your life, prayed, and got what you wanted — only to realize it wasn’t that great, or worse? If we’re honest with ourselves, we have all experienced this at some point.

When we use our minds to figure out life, it often falls short because we don’t know what we don’t know. We are feeling desires and making plans based on the information we consciously have available to us. Most life situations are highly nuanced with many moving parts and unseen connections to seemingly unrelated other aspects of life. Our limited minds cannot see all of this — the omnipresent Creator of the Universe can.

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Before I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and dedicated my life to serving God’s will over my own, I was heavily into studying and practicing metaphysics. I spent much time and dedication doing my best to master the Law of Attraction. I got pretty decent at it. I consciously manifested many specific things.

One of my biggest aha moments recognizing the flaws of hacking God’s systems to use my own will to manifest came when I manifested something very specific. I felt I wanted to find my life partner (not necessarily a wife, because I questioned the need for marriage at that time), so I applied what I had been studying for over a decade.

I sat for a period of time and searched my mind for everything I wanted my ideal woman to possess — everything from physical, to beliefs, hobbies, etc. Within a short while, I manifested her into my life. The way she came into my life is mind-blowing, but too long of a story for this writing. But we met and started dating. She checked all the boxes that I wrote down.

This woman did not become my life partner — but she did become a very good friend for a few years. Why? Because in that very long and extensive list, I forgot one very important item — sexual chemistry. Chemistry is a very mysterious concoction that is beyond most of our understanding. The list I created was not a formula for sexual chemistry.

Now I am married to a woman who does not possess most of the things on that list. We have an amazing chemistry in all areas and are in alignment in parenting values and the future we want to build. We didn’t need to compromise or cajole each other to be in alignment — we each showed up completely authentic and unapologetic, and our unity was a natural process. Not to say we don’t get frustrated with each other and experience tension — we do, and that is perfect because tension caused by polarity helps create chemistry.

I stopped asking God what kind of woman to bring me. I stopped asking Him to bring me a woman. My prayer switched to: “Lord, if it is Your will for me to be a husband and a father, I ask that You connect me with the soul that You have chosen.” And I accepted His will may be for me to be alone and childless — and I felt peace because it was my Father’s will.

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My favorite example of this concept in the Bible is on the day of His coming crucifixion. Jesus said this prayer to Father God:

Matthew 26:36–39:
36 Then cometh Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder.
39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”

We either have faith in God or we don’t. We can’t have faith when it’s convenient and force our own will when it’s not. We either trust that He is a good God, loves us unconditionally, and always has our highest good in His plan — or we doubt Him and trust our human minds instead. You can think you have faith, but your actions tell the truth of your deepest belief.

What if you stopped trying to create your life the way you think is best? Instead, what if you started praying to God that His will be done in every aspect of your life? What if you pray for Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit and empty you of your own will, desires, and perceived needs — and replace them with His?

In order to do this, we must learn how to hear the whispers of the Holy Spirit within us. When we pray for God’s will to be done, He will guide us. We need to make space for His voice. We must learn how and practice slowing down our minds and making space for stillness in the midst of life’s busyness.

We cannot be guided by the Spirit while we are slaves to the ego. The ego demands certainty. To follow God’s will over our own, we must develop unwavering faith to enter the wilderness of uncertainty in our lives. We must be willing to allow our current selves to be deconstructed so a new you may be built in its place.

It is not all peace and tranquility when we follow God’s will. He must separate you from everything that is getting in the way of you becoming who He needs you to be — for Him to be able to use you for the Divine Purpose He individually designed you for.

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If you’ve been spending the majority of your life serving your own will, those choices have shaped who you are today. God needs to change you. And as He changes you from within, your external life circumstances stay the same — your family, friends, job, home — stay the same… until it all changes. But there is a delay.

All of a sudden, you will begin feeling like a foreign alien in your own life. Those who you have known your whole life will feel like strangers. Places that felt comfortable will become unbearable.

If you can stay faithful and strong during this time in the wilderness, when you come out the other side you will experience greater joy, happiness, and peace than your former self could have possibly imagined.

God gave you life for an important purpose. He loves you more than any human ever could. He wants to use you to serve His will and make this world a more loving and harmonious place. He loves you so much that He gave you free will. You can use your free will to align with His will for your life, or you can continue to serve your own will, strengthening your ego.

The choice is yours.

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A Note on Authorship: This essay was written entirely by Patrick Ryan. AI was not used to write or rewrite the article. AI tools may be used separately for research assistance, proofreading, formatting, title development, or visual creation. The ideas, perspectives, arguments, and written words are my own.

***Originally posted in my publication: Question Everything with Patrick Ryan

Support This Writing: One Time Donation

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Embracing Healthy Masculinity

Faith Does Not Make a Man’s Life Easier. It Makes Him Stronger.

The life of a man who lives within the Body of Christ is different from that of a man living in the world. Both men face the same circumstances, challenges, personal conflicts, financial uncertainty, and general worldly chaos. One faces them alone; the other faces it within a Holy partnership…

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11 days ago · 2 likes · Patrick Ryan

Question Everything with Patrick Ryan

Is It God’s Voice… or Just Your Ego?

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a year ago · 33 likes · 7 comments · Patrick Ryan

Yesterday, August 25th, 2026, was my second birthday in Christ. Today is my first anniversary of marriage to my amazing wife, a faithful daughter of God.

Below is the essay I posted in my publication Question Everything with Patrick Ryan after my first birthday in Christ. I wanted to share it with you today.

For those of you reading this who were saved by Jesus as adults, I would love to read your testimony in the comment section. We experience a transformation that those who have not yet chosen to surrender cannot know. We must support each other.

As I read the below essay today, for the first time since I wrote it, something substantial stood out to me. The essay focuses a lot on how I had to practice denying my own wants and desires to surrender into following God’s will in my life. I share some pretty big examples.

Today I was noticing I am not still experiencing that battle of my will being in opposition of His. I don’t really know what my wants or desires are anymore. I am regularly praying for His will to guide me and I just obey.

I am excited to experience how God guides this toddler in Christ these coming months. Amen. I look forward to reading your testimony in the comments. God Bless you.

Last week, on August 25th, 2025, I celebrated my first birthday. It was that day last year that my previous self died in the water of baptism, and I was born again, cleansed in the blood of Christ. It was nine months earlier that I repented for my sins and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Truly, my previous self was transformed before August 25th. But the changes seemed to accelerate after that symbolic death and rebirth.

Before studying the Bible, I did not understand what was happening to me. The self I once knew as “me” was disappearing. My family began to feel like strangers. My hobbies and habits were becoming more forced than the natural way of things that they once were. Living the life I was so comfortable in became a constant strain.

These changes had been happening a couple of years before surrendering my life to Jesus. My old subconscious conditioning fought to keep old ways alive. But the inner pain of not living authentically grew and became more and more intolerable. My temporal pleasure vices could no longer keep me numb enough to deny the Holy Spirit demanding my surrender.

When I finally surrendered, all of that pain and angst turned to peace and flow. Life’s challenges still existed, both in my personal life and the world at large, but the resistance to it no longer had any power. I was able to relax, knowing all is as it needs to be — and no matter what, I am saved.

After I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart as my Lord and Savior, the internal transformations accelerated — I was no longer fighting against them. Long-held addictions disappeared without effort. Lifelong passions and pursuits fell away like they had never held space in my heart before. My decisions on who to keep or accept into my life became effortless — except for family. That took a lot of prayer and reflection to follow God’s will in my relationships with them.

My family has been my greatest challenge. I am the only one who is saved. My sister and her family couldn’t be further away from knowing God. My earthly father is a lost soul who remains enslaved by alcoholism and hedonistic addictions. My mother is close to being saved, but she is still trapped in the New Age deceptions that I too was fooled by for most of my adult life.

I am taking a sabbatical from all of them as I learn to walk as a new being in the same fallen world we all traverse. The subconscious mind is a powerful force that controls 95% of who we are. No people in our lives influence our subconscious minds more than our families — especially our parents.

Part of this transformation is a constant battle of old subconscious programming — the ego — fighting against the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I have found in these past few months, that as I have left my home country and ceased communication with my family, the old self has been more naturally falling away, and my new self — born in Christ — has been able to find its identity.

It is a strange feeling to feel like a stranger in your own skin. To be integrating into a new identity at almost 50 years of age is an interesting experience. Yet, at the same time, it feels completely natural and effortless. I find when I make time most days to sit and speak with my Heavenly Father through His Son, I walk in deep faith led by the Holy Spirit, regardless of the uncertainties that my ego wants to react to.

Early in my faith walk, I was hit hard by a message at my church. The message emphasized the importance of getting out of God’s way and seeking to live His will over our own. Immediately, the truth and urgency of that message resonated within my soul, and from that day forward, I have been diligent in doing my best to live obediently. It has taken practice to do the opposite of what my mind and personality desire. It started small and now has become a reality in some of life’s biggest decisions.

A few huge examples of how I have followed God’s will over my own desires since March 2024…

I have always been passionate about acting. I left the acting class I was in — and all acting pursuits. God gave me guidance that through my method acting, I was inviting outside entities to reside within me.

I walked away from a new job that had over $400,000/year earning potential — with no plan. It was a sales company that was preying on senior citizens with deceitful sales practices.

I told my dad we need to take a long break from our relationship. I love my dad and also like him as a person. However, he is a toxic presence in my life. I continue to pray for guidance on when to reconnect.

I left the comforts of the United States to move to Albania. I had no idea why. After much prayer, it was clear God wanted me to move.

After one week in Albania, I met the woman I would soon marry. I did not pursue her on that first meeting. One month later, we were reconnected through a beach trip with a mutual friend. At that time, I had already decided to leave Albania to spend time in Vietnam. Even though my personality very much wanted to leave Albania, I followed God’s guidance and took her on a date instead.

Last week, the day after my baptism birthday, I married that woman. We plan on starting a family soon. I do not want to be a husband or a father. I love being alone and keeping people at arm’s distance. I have cultivated myself as a self-reliant lone wolf and am very comfortable in this way. But following God’s will makes the choice to be a husband and raise a family easy and joyful. He could not have created a better wife for me. I love her deeply like Jesus loves the church.

These are all examples of where I have been called to do the opposite of what my personality wants. And with each example above, I feel absolute peace, joy, and contentment with these decisions.

I do not miss acting, even though it was my greatest joy. I do not regret walking away from the large paydays, even though I am financially tight. I am not heartbroken severing ties with my dad, even though I love him dearly. I do not feel bad leaving the U.S., even though life in Albania is much more challenging. I do not at all feel angst about marrying my wife and moving forward in raising a family, even though I have given up what I valued most — my solitude and freedom.

What I am learning in a very powerful way is that when we follow God’s will over our own wants and desires, peace and contentment is always present, and blessings are abundant. The Bible explains everything I have been experiencing. It’s all part of God’s plan and creation.

The biggest thing that kept me from this peace and joy was my mind. I approached Jesus and the Bible in a logical way — and none of it makes logical sense. It is only about 14 inches that keeps most people from being saved by Christ. We will never find Him in our brain — He already lives in our heart and awaits us to knock on the door.

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”
— Matthew 7:7–8

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A Note on Authorship: This essay was written entirely by Patrick Ryan. AI was not used to write or rewrite the article. AI tools may be used separately for research assistance, proofreading, formatting, title development, or visual creation. The ideas, perspectives, arguments, and written words are my own.

Support This Writing With A Donation

Share Knowing Christ In A Fallen World

Question Everything with Patrick Ryan

Stop Chasing Your Will—Surrender to God’s Divine Plan for Your Life

Who does God want you to become? Have you ever stopped and asked? When you pray, do you ask God to make you who you want to be — or do you ask that His will be done in your life…

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a year ago · 136 likes · 16 comments · Patrick Ryan

Embracing Healthy Masculinity

Faith Does Not Make a Man’s Life Easier. It Makes Him Stronger.

The life of a man who lives within the Body of Christ is different from that of a man living in the world. Both men face the same circumstances, challenges, personal conflicts, financial uncertainty, and general worldly chaos. One faces them alone; the other faces it within a Holy partnership…

Read more

12 days ago · 2 likes · Patrick Ryan

We live in a world of illusion. This is true on many levels. Quantum mechanics shows this on a molecular level. The human paradigm is largely an illusion. People walk around showing us personas that mask their true selves. Public figures display one personality and speak of values, yet behind closed doors, off-camera, they behave in completely opposite ways. World events are presented with selected information as “truth,” when in reality, they are fragments of truth that distract us from the factual evidence.

Many people are not troubled by this because they believe the illusion to be reality. They are completely unaware they are living in an augmented reality. The pain and drama they experience are real emotional experiences for them, but the triggers are illusory. The true burden falls on the truth seekers.

For the 3% of humanity driven toward deep exploration of truth, they eventually begin to unravel that 80% of what they grew up thinking was real life is actually all smoke and mirrors. When we come to discover this, it shatters our whole paradigm of life. We are left wondering, “What else is not what I thought it was?” We begin to develop a natural skepticism toward all new information that comes our way. In a sense, I believe this is a healthier way to approach life — but it leaves us with a constant underlying angst.

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What specifically triggered me to write about this is the enormous pedophile ring that includes the most famous and powerful people across our most pivotal and influential industries and institutions. Gratefully, more and more proven information is coming to light. The innate evil involved is tough to bear. And as we learn of this reality, many perpetrators are dead and will never face human justice. Yet many are still alive, enjoying their wealth, fame, and positions of power and control. We see them every day on our screens — smiling, waving, and receiving praise. We watch them being interviewed, portraying themselves as humanitarians, and many claiming to be believers and followers of God.

I’ve noticed, however, that while many of these demons claim to believe in God, they never use the name Jesus. They can’t. The name Jesus carries too much power. They have spent much time dedicating their lives to studying and practicing the occult. Though they deny Jesus, they have studied his power and the power of the name Lord Jesus Christ.They understand the very real consequences of blaspheming his name.

It can be very difficult to know the truths of the worldly reality we experience. Even when we are diligent in our search for information — intently seeking deeper truth — it is very difficult to decipher what information is factual and what is not. This is true regarding world events and within our daily interactions and relationships with other humans.

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Though I believe it is crucial to live a life of exploration and discovery to help us better understand the world we live in, we must also accept that there are many things we may never truly know — some of which are of the utmost importance in regard to the lives we live.

It took me several decades to finally understand and accept there is only one truth, one way, and one life. That is Jesus Christ. We must always remember his teaching: that while we are in this world, we are not of this world.

Though we will most definitely face deception, trials, and tribulations in this earthly realm, it is only temporary. By repenting our sins and giving our lives to Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, our souls will reap the grace of salvation.

There are many things in this world we cannot change as mortals. What we can do is study the word of God and dedicate our lives to doing everything we can to live his will over our own. By committing our lives to living in accordance with the teachings of Jesus, and following his example to the best of our abilities, we will do our part in adding good to the world for God’s glory — to help counterbalance the evil perpetrated by Satan’s puppets.

What will you do today to honor Jesus and glorify God?

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AI Disclosure: This essay was written entirely by Patrick Ryan. No artificial intelligence was used in the writing or editing. AI was used only to create the accompanying thumbnail artwork.

***Originally posted in my publication: Question Everything with Patrick Ryan

Support This Writing With A Donation

Share Knowing Christ In A Fallen World

Embracing Healthy Masculinity

Faith Does Not Make a Man’s Life Easier. It Makes Him Stronger.

The life of a man who lives within the Body of Christ is different from that of a man living in the world. Both men face the same circumstances, challenges, personal conflicts, financial uncertainty, and general worldly chaos. One faces them alone; the other faces it within a Holy partnership…

Read more

11 days ago · 2 likes · Patrick Ryan

Question Everything with Patrick Ryan

Uncovering Your Addictions Hiding In Plain Sight

We all struggle; it is a core human component that unites us. Though our struggles may look different in form, the internal effects are often very similar. Few are truly adept at handling life’s challenges in a healthy way; many are too proud to admit this. Most of us resort to some kind of coping mechanism that often becomes an addiction…

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7 months ago · 19 likes · 2 comments · Patrick Ryan

We all fight invisible battles. We fight inner battles between subconscious programming and soul truth. We fight spiritual battles between our deepest held beliefs and the people who insist we are wrong. And we fight worldly battles defending our inherent sense that we were born to be free and sovereign, while facing fascist systems hellbent on stifling our freedom ‘for our own protection’. We fight all of these battles as unwitting soldiers in an ancient spiritual war that began before our first human ancestor inhaled his first breath.

This war we are a part of is being fought on two very different fronts — the physical realm and the unseen realms. This means we need different battle strategies for both. This essay is for the spiritual revolutionaries who are ready to stop being unconscious pawns and begin living as conscious soldiers of the light. This is a battle plan to survive, and ultimately become victorious, in both psychological and spiritual warfare.

We will be focusing on two manuals to guide us in our warfare strategies. When it comes to spiritual warfare, there is no better strategy guide than the Bible. When it comes to psychological warfare, one of the best manuals we can use is ‘The Art of War’ by Sun Tzu.

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For those who are unfamiliar with Sun Tzu’s famous text on military strategy, here is a very brief history. Sun Tzu (Sunzi) was a Chinese military strategist who lived around the 5th century BC. Under the rulership of King Helu of Wu, Sun Tzu helped turn the small state of Wu into a powerful military force. He truly turned war into an art by emphasizing mind over force, strategy over brutality, and wisdom over chaos. It is these fundamental principles that make ‘The Art of War’ as effective with fighting inner wars as with fighting physical wars. We will be learning to apply his principles to both the psychological and spiritual wars within ourselves.

We must understand how our enemies fight against us. They subdue us without fighting. They keep us distracted with simple-minded entertainment and fifty-hour work weeks, provide cheap food filled with poisons to keep our energy low and minds foggy, and they give us screens in homes, hotels, restaurants, and our pockets — then flood those screens with misinformation and psychological propaganda to trigger community division and emotional reactivity over rational critical thinking.

We used to see fictional stories of governments creating police states where soldiers occupied the neighborhoods with guns and tanks, forcing compliance; the reality is the police state already exists, and we are voluntarily complying. They do not use physical weapons for a violent war — they use silent weapons in a quiet war (see Behold a Pale Horse by William Cooper).

It seems this strategy is finally beginning to fail them because of the wide information access online — do not be surprised when military force is perpetrated in your city. If they can no longer subdue us without fighting, they will fight; this is why they’ve been trying so hard to take your guns, so you can’t fight back. We are already beginning to see it happen; keep a close eye on the UK and the U.S.

Before they resort to physical war against us, they will first try their hand at economic warfare. As soon as they implement the legally required Universal Digital ID and connect all of your banking to it, they will own you. They will not need guns or jail cells. If you do not comply, they flip a switch and block access to your currency. This is why they used the plandemic to vilify cash. All of a sudden after Covid many businesses stopped accepting cash. Personally, I refuse to do business with any retailer/restaurant that does not accept cash. We must not let the lure of convenience tempt us into surrendering sovereignty — physical currency is one of the few tools of freedom we have left. If you only have digital currency and they block it, how are you going to feed yourself and your family without becoming a criminal?

The ‘Beast System’ is here. They are easing us into it step by step. The system is being created from the ‘order out of chaos’ strategy. They orchestrate a tragedy from the shadows, blame it on foreign enemies, and then come in to ‘save us’ with the solution…

The United States was psychologically attacked on September 11, 2001 by domestic governmental terrorists using ‘Weapons of Mass Deception’.

You see the pattern used time and time again: Create a scary disaster > Blame a scapegoat > Provide a solution that consolidates power and control (Problem > Reaction > Solution) — ‘Ordo Ab Chao’

We live in a world that is turned upside down. Villains masquerade as heroes. Darkness is praised as light. What we are told heals us actually poisons us. The freedoms we are encouraged to indulge in lead us into bondage. Satan did not appear to Eve as a monster forcing her compliance; he appeared as a serpent, a symbol of wisdom, and he charmed her into obedience. Satan was the archetype of what politicians would become.

The controlling forces that pull the strings from the shadows understand that chaos weakens discernment. They must orchestrate disasters so great that it shakes the consciousness of humanity at global scales. When fear and uncertainty permeate through the collective consciousness, our collective discernment is faulty. Without proper discernment, we can’t make decisions based on the world as it is; we make decisions triggered through our emotional filters. When emotions overpower clarity, our boundaries weaken, reasoning collapses, and spiritual vigilance disappears.

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We access Divine wisdom in stillness. When the world around us keeps us in a reactive state, we lose our spiritual discernment. Rather than seeking the wise counsel of the Holy Spirit, we surrender our internal operating systems over to the ego. The ego is reactive, not reflective. The ego wants to win, not cooperate. The ego gets offended, not empathetic. The ego seeks physical, tangible solutions — worldly institutions and governments provide what the ego seeks.

Without external worldly powers providing solutions, the ego doesn’t know what to do, so it begins to self-destruct. Without Divine wisdom, we are slaves to the ego. When faced with worldly stresses, the ego chases false solutions like escapism (video games, Netflix, TikTok, YouTube, porn, promiscuity, shopping on Amazon, etc.). This dependence on escapism leads to addiction, aggression, depression, loneliness, isolation, self-exaltation, and avoiding our soul’s deepest needs. We avoid our inner truths by numbing and distracting ourselves from what we truly feel, rather than facing ourselves with authentic presence and compassion. This leads us deeper down the road to self-destruction.

When we choose not to surrender our inner lives over to the ego, there is opportunity within the chaos. When we commit ourselves to making time for stillness and prayer, we are able to maintain healthy discernment. When we view the world with spiritual discernment, we can use the orchestrated chaos to our own advantage.

We must choose to research rather than react. When a building falls or a virus spreads, we must curb our impulse to react fearfully and instead start researching. When we research, we must do our absolute best to approach our study in a neutral, unbiased way. We must breathe deeply to transcend the turbulent emotions and preinstalled subconscious conditioning so that we may have the wherewithal to research all sides of the situation with an open mind that is calmly thinking critically.

When Covid hit, if you just said “trust the science” and never looked at anything else, you were duped. You were correct in your intentions to want to trust science; we should not blindly reject science. However, you failed to deeply research the science and the sources of the particular science being shared. Now in 2026, the evidence is pretty clear that much of the science being shared by the media did not show the full story.

Too often we see the truth in retrospect. History shows us how we were lied to. It is a small few who see the lies as they are happening. These are the people being dismissed as “conspiracy theorists” and spreaders of misinformation. We are too quick to allow our emotional filters to push us into being dismissive of people and information that makes us feel uncomfortable. Rather than quickly dismissing a so-called conspiracy theorist, we would be wise to ask them why they believe what they believe — we may learn information that we did not previously know.

As we later uncover the lies and deception behind these orchestrated disasters, we are able to better see the playbook of our hidden enemy. This is the opportunity within the chaos. But what if we were collectively better at seeing the lies and deception as it’s happening?

What would have happened if the masses understood that the Reichstag fire was a false flag as it happened in 1933? Would Hitler have risen to such devastating power? What if, globally, we collectively saw the lies and deception of the 2020 scam as it was happening? What would our world today look like compared to what it is? What if we didn’t allow these events to continue to consolidate power, strip our legal rights, and slowly steal away our sovereignty?

Maybe you believe Satan is a physical entity, maybe you believe Satan is a dark spiritual force, maybe you believe Satan is a metaphor for the systems of control and manipulation that govern this world. Regardless of what you believe Satan to be, most agree on the traits and tactics that he represents. The only way to overcome the system and the dark unseen forces that govern this world is to properly identify the traits and tactics that are systematically applied.

The Hebrew meaning of Satan is adversary, accuser, or opposer. The Greek word diabolos (devil) means slanderer or deceiver. If God is good, light, Divine justice — Satan is the adversary of that; as the devil he will deceive you into believing he is the light. When you look at Luciferian doctrine within Freemasonry, they believe dark is light and evil is good. You can see Freemasonry influence spread throughout the world’s power structures going back a few hundred years. Is it any wonder that these power structures take on satanic attributes?

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Look at the power structures that control our world. To make it simple, just research the industries that BlackRock has their heaviest investments in. Look at our public schools, universities, media conglomerates, entertainment providers, streaming services, pharmaceutical giants, oil monopolies, regulatory bodies, governments, etc. We see Satan’s fingerprints all throughout these power systems.

These aforementioned industries have been built and are maintained through deception, accusation, temptation, discouragement, and mass truth distortion. The Beast System permeates throughout the collective consciousness and culture, weakening our spiritual discernment through distraction, fear, materialism, dependency, and promoting self-worship.

As soon as you open your eyes each morning, you are entering the battlefield of psychological warfare. From the moment you first pick up your phone and start to scroll or watch, you are engaged in war. This war is not fighting your body; it is attacking your soul. We cannot win this war with guns or acts of physical retaliation. To win the great war that ravages every aspect of our daily lives, we must first win the war within. To be victorious in psychological warfare, we must master spiritual warfare

The daily battle begins in the mind. The world systems are constantly feeding your mind data, attempting to tell you what to think, how to feel, what to support, what to deny, who to love, who to hate, how to be liked, how to be accepted — on and on and on — telling you who to be. We must protect ourselves from Satan’s attacks by raising the shield of faith and responding with the sword of the Spirit, which is God’s word. How can you allow God to demolish the strongholds of the world’s systems and obey Christ if you are not consistently studying His word?

The Satanic systems are targeting your soul to destroy the Kingdom of Heaven within you. The daily grind of life is designed to slowly break down your protective walls, brick by brick, leaving you exposed to spiritual attack. If you have built your kingdom on the shifting sands of worldly systems, your kingdom surely will fall; maybe it hasn’t yet, but it will. When it does, there is only one who will be able to help you rebuild a new Kingdom. You do not need to wait for inner destruction to rebuild; today you can begin rebuilding your inner Kingdom on the rock that is Jesus Christ. When your Kingdom is securely built on this rock, they can fire their tomahawk warheads at you, and your castle will stand tall and unfettered, with your soul protected.

Today we live in a zeitgeist of emotional reactivity. Comment sections throughout all social media platforms are filled with people spewing hatred and insults at each other. Anger leaves your soul exposed to the enemy’s attacks. Algorithms are designed to fuel your anger and create division amongst us, breaking down the walls of spiritual discernment that protect our inner Kingdom. A divided people are easy to control. A person divided within himself is easy to wield as a weapon. Many of you who allow social media posts to enrage you are being used as weapons to fight on behalf of the same systems that fight against you.

If we do not develop some life disciplines that can help us remain centered and thinking critically, our emotional volatility will be used as a weapon against each other and against ourselves. It is best to take a few breaths or physically move around a bit before firing your anger into the comment sections; this allows you to have a better opportunity to make your reply a choice rather than an unconscious reaction.

Too many of us wake up and jump into battle every day. First, we must consistently remind ourselves every day that we are unwitting soldiers in an invisible war. Before we face the war that wages in the world, we must focus on winning the war within us. Every day presents new battles that we cannot avoid. We must develop a morning routine that allows us to go within first and win the daily battles within us, before facing the external battles that await us. How can you begin each day winning your personal inner battles before facing the collective war that ravages the external realm?

Escapism has become a common coping mechanism. We relax after work with some drinks or some weed. We escape into fantasy through porn, shows, movies, or games. We become intoxicated with ego, power, and self-righteousness. Being sober-minded isn’t only about refraining from substances; it’s thinking clearly under pressure, being emotionally disciplined, spiritually alert, and not allowing ourselves to become intoxicated on power, ego, attention, pleasure, money, ideology, fear, or worldly success.

The devil prowls around like a hungry lion, waiting for you to be distracted before he pounces on you. He will wait until you are prideful, tired, heart-broken, angry, drunk, high, lustful — and then he will pounce upon your soul and devour it. You must be spiritually vigilant — not only on Sundays, every day. Satan never sleeps, never takes a vacation, never takes a break; not for a single second. Whether you are awake or dreaming, he is there looking to expose your weak points.

You will never conquer your external enemies without first conquering the enemies within yourself. You must face your shadow self, inner demons, and subconscious programming. Maybe you believe in demon oppression or you don’t. If you do, the only way you defeat them and remove them from living in your body rent-free is by evoking the name of Lord Jesus Christ and rebuking them directly. If you do not believe in actual demon oppression, then you must fight your metaphorical demons directly by learning how to rewire your subconscious mind and face your false self psychologically. Whether you’re fighting your ego or literal demons, you must face these enemies with spiritual fortitude and unwavering conviction.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, you cannot deny that we all fight a war within ourselves. Until we learn to conquer the enemy within, we will never survive the worldly war waged against us. What is your daily personal battleplan to win this invisible war?

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A Note on Authorship: This essay was written entirely by Patrick Ryan. No artificial intelligence was used in the writing or editing of this publication.

***Originally published in my Substack publication 'Question Everything with Patrick Ryan'

Embracing Healthy Masculinity

Every Man Needs a Code to Live By

Every man should have a code that he lives by. We live in an age of weak men. It seems each generation of males becomes weaker and weaker. When did this degeneration of masculinity begin…

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14 days ago · 2 likes · Patrick Ryan

Question Everything with Patrick Ryan

How You've Become Addicted to 'Bread and Circuses'

From ancient Babylon to Rome, the few have controlled the majority through covert tactics in plain sight. This has not changed; it has only become more systemized, effective, and widespread. Kings and emperors oppressed and controlled their nation without revolution because the majority did not fully understand they were being oppressed and controlled. …

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4 months ago · 34 likes · 12 comments · Patrick Ryan

I love how God works. Over these past couple of years I have experienced God work through my life in such miraculous ways. To explain many of these experiences to a non-believer, they could easily be dismissed as coincidence or luck. This is how I had dismissed many of these experiences before truly studying and seeking to understand the Bible. The consistency of these kinds of experiences and how they align with Biblical teachings are impossible for me to dismiss.

I continue to recognize when God has led me to something or steered me away from potential danger. This has become something I have been contemplating lately because of what is now happening in Tirana, Albania.

A year and a half ago I was living in a nice quiet apartment that I absolutely loved living in. I was in a nice affluent neighborhood in Austin, Texas. I would go for morning walks through the nearby neighborhoods in the morning where families of deer were peacefully grazing in the front yards of the beautiful houses. It was a three minute drive to my wonderful church where I had just begun forming some true friendships with sound Bible believing Christians. And it was a 45 second drive to my favorite grocery store, Trader Joes. I was close to several serene hiking trails. I loved my life and had no intentions to change it.

At this time I was also praying regularly and actively seeking to deepen my relationship with our Heavenly Father. It had been a few months of consistently praying for the Lord to guide me in how to serve His will over my own. I was getting more and more comfortable with turning away from my personal desires to serve Him instead. Then he started guiding me towards the biggest change he would require of me at that point.

He was telling me that he needed me to leave my comfortable life in Austin, TX and move to a different country. I had been feeling a calling to leave the U.S. for a few years even prior to being saved, so I was very receptive to this calling.

I had been feeling a calling to Thailand. I started researching expat life in Thailand and the legal requirements for long term stay. As I was researching expat experiences on YouTube, American expats in Albania came into my algorithm. Albania? I didn’t even know where that was. Out of pure curiosity I watched one of the videos.

I resonated with what the expats were sharing about Albania, so I watched more. I soon found a channel, ‘Retire with Patrick’, who was very helpful and detailed in his videos. He offered walking tours throughout the cities. More and more I was really feeling called to Albania. I continued praying for guidance. The more I prayed the more clearly the Holy Spirit was expressing certainty that Albania is where the Lord wants me to go.

I have found even with strong inner guidance with most things the mind still needs reasons to be on board. Logically Albania made sense because the cost of living was about half of what I was paying in the U.S.. It was safe, street crime was low because the country was mostly run by organized crime. The younger people largely spoke English. The deciding factor, logically, was that Americans can live there for a full year without a visa. I figured I could land there without dealing with all the bureaucratic headaches, then go from there to somewhere else when called to.

I had already been living as a minimalist for many years. My furniture was rented. I reduced my belongings down to a hiker backpack and a large duffel bag. I sold my car to my sister for my nephew and bought a one-way plane ticket to Tirana, Albania. I had no real idea why I was going, had no contacts there, and I was leaving one of the wealthiest countries in the world to move to one of the poorest countries in Europe. All I knew was that God was telling me it was His will for me to go, so I listened and went on pure faith.

Within a week and a half of landing in Tirana, I met the woman I would marry five months later. I befriended a Christian neighbor from Dallas, TX. Made friends with a young man from Canada who came closer to Jesus through our friendship. Within a month I found an International Christian church with an American pastor who preached in English and was translated to Albanian. Continually, God was showing me his affirmation that I had made the right move in following His guidance.

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As my 12 months of living there visa-free was coming up, I was continually praying for guidance on if it was God’s will for me to apply for a long term visa to stay longer. Logically it absolutely made sense for me to secure my legal status since my wife was an Albanian citizen; we were married Biblically, not legally because neither one of us believed in the state’s involvement in our personal lives. We both agreed we would only get married legally if we needed to for visa reasons or when we had our first child and needed to protect our family in that sense. As I prayed the Holy Spirit was clearly instructing me not to file any visa paperwork. I continued to trust in the Lord and know He would guide my steps when it was time to move.

When my wife and I met and started dating, and after going through the Biblical marriage process, we both planned on raising our family in Albania. I loved the country and she had no interest in leaving her home country. My thoughts were that we would raise our children through their developmental years in Albania, to experience the challenges inherent within poor economic civilizations, build internal resilience, and be in a country that still demonstrated old family values. I felt for myself, being raised in all of the luxuries inherent within the middle class United States and a national culture where divorce is a natural byproduct of marriage, that something fundamental to building inner strength was missing within my core. That inner strength was something I cultivated later in life through seeking, study, and practice.

The Albanian reality though is that much of the younger generations have been poisoned by western culture through the global addiction to social media. Our children would not be surrounded by a culture of old family values outside of our home. I was also now, after almost a full year of being immersed in the local culture, understanding the true damage done to the collective mindset in a poor country. It was not the collective mindset we wanted shaping our children’s foundational thinking.

Coming up to just a couple of months before my visa-free stay was about to expire, something powerful shifted within me. I was feeling an urgency to leave Albania and for us to raise our family elsewhere. I sat with this feeling and prayed for clarity for a few weeks before saying anything to my wife. I needed to be clear on where I stood before having that conversation. The last time we ever discussed future plans she and I were both excited to build a life together in her home country, and her parents were excited about us raising their grandchildren there.

One morning in bed the topic naturally came up and I expressed to her the internal shifts I was processing. It turned out she also experienced these same internal shifts around the same time. She was feeling strong inner guidance not to have children in Albania. We were both individually feeling guided to raise our family in the U.S., or wherever God ultimately guided us outside of Albania.

By the time we had this conversation we had come to a point where I no longer had time to go through the legal processes to get an Albanian visa before I had to leave the country. I prayed and received guidance on our next moves. Albania is surrounded by countries where both the U.S. and Albanian passports can stay for 90 days without a visa. So I invited her to quit her job and walk in pure faith with me. We had no real plan. We both committed to allowing God to guide us step by step. She trusted me to lead us, and I trusted God to lead me.

Before leaving Texas God would not allow me to have a job. I tried and tried, but for one reason or another God made my internal mechanisms revolt against every place I would land. At one point He guided me to walk away from almost half a million dollars a year earning potential. He was testing my faith, and this is when I began to truly live by faith alone. When I was down to about $100 and was going to have to pay my first late fee the Lord blessed me with several thousand dollars through unexpected means. This blessing was what allowed me to follow his commands to go to Albania and meet my wife.

Since that time the Lord has not revealed how he wants me to earn money. I had been living in Albania on savings alone. My wife moving into my apartment and helping with the rent and groceries helped extend that savings. When God clearly guided me to invite her to quit her job, leave Albania and travel throughout the surrounding countries with me, my money was getting dangerously low. God had shown his faithfulness to me before through miraculous means, so I surrendered all doubt and worry to Jesus and continued to live presently in absolute faith in God.

Within a couple of months of leaving Albania, living frugally in Greece, my bank account was almost empty. There was a debt owed to me that I was able to call in. What’s beautiful about this, is that this financial seed was planted by God earlier to harvest at this time. When I sold my car to my sister for my nephew, I sold it for about $8,000 less than what I could have gotten for it because I wanted my nephew to have it. It was a newer dependable vehicle. My sister still did not have enough to pay what I sold it to her for. She had less than half available. I did not want her to have to pay interest on a loan, so I told her to save up for the balance and she could pay me within a year and a half. That time frame we agreed upon aligned perfectly with when I would most need it. In addition my great aunt recently passed away and left me a little bit of money. Once again when I was almost completely out of money, enough came through to keep me going.

Because we can only stay in each country without a visa for 90 days we have to move every couple of months. We moved from Greece to North Macedonia into an Air B&B. You can receive substantial discounts by booking over 30 days at a time. Our time in North Macedonia is expiring in a couple of weeks. We were planning on going back to Albania to get legally married and begin the process of getting my wife’s spousal visa process started so we can move to the United States. This process takes on average 8 to 14 months to complete.

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This was our plan. We would have to go pay rent somewhere. I was trusting that God would work it out, as we currently have enough money to sustain us for a few more months. Then out of nowhere I receive an email from a woman in Romania asking us if we would like to come join her school and teach children English. It would not be a paid opportunity, but she would provide us with a comfortable apartment rent-free, and we would only be required to work about 15-20 hours per week. We had a call with her and discussed the possibility of coming on board long-term.

When we first left Albania a few months ago, I signed up for a service that connects with work exchange opportunities available throughout the countries we would be near. We did one work exchange opportunity on the beautiful island of Skopelos, Greece, helping an older woman with her garden. I was not keen on doing that program any further because we had some weird interactions with our host and I found it very challenging to stay consistent in my writing, which I feel God is calling me to do.

This woman in Romania contacted me through this platform. Even though I had no intention to use this platform any further, I was very receptive because it involved serving children. As I had started reflecting on my life a few years ago entering mid-life I had strongly felt that if I could go back and do it all over I would have been a teacher. Our first work exchange host was a retired teacher, and now the same platform was offering us an opportunity to teach.

We scheduled a video call with her and both my wife and I felt great resonance with her. Even though we had not yet met in person we were already discussing with her potentially staying on long-term with the school.

For now we are committed to two and half months, staying within our visa-free limitations. Though if we all feel it’s a good long term fit it should be easy to get long term visas because we will be able to show local employment. Regardless though, God has provided another two and half months without having to pay monthly rent.

Everything I have shared is too perfectly orchestrated for me to dismiss it as coincidence or “luck”. What exactly is “luck” anyway?

Now back to what originally sparked this thought that I have been expanding upon. When God clearly, individually, guided my wife and I to leave Albania and guided me not to go through the visa process, something powerful was shifting within Tirana. A few months prior was the democratic elections for a new Prime Minister. The same PM that has held the position for the past thirteen years, Edvin (Edi) Rama, won again. Many believed the election process was corrupted, and he did not retain his position through a true and fair democratic process.

A couple of weeks before we were required to leave Tirana some massive protests started at the Prime Minister’s building. There were several in this short time span. They were not peaceful protests. The Albanian protesters were firing fireworks onto the PM building setting the outside on fire. Protestors were throwing rocks at the police, while the police were throwing tear gas canisters at the protestors. The water cannon truck was spraying protestors. Each new protest escalated in its intensity. All of this happening a street over from our church and not too far from our home.

Both my wife and I felt God’s timing was deliberate. One of the logical reasons I chose Albania to move to was because I had never seen it in the international news. I did research on current politics before I left and all was seemingly peaceful. I had no idea of the country’s tumultuous history and how the underlying pressures and angst of the past had been slowly building beneath the surface and getting close to eruption.

It’s interesting that the main instigator of these protests was the former Albanian President, Sali Berisha, who was president during the Albanian civil war in 1997. I was watching old news footage yesterday that documented the events leading up to and throughout the Albanian civil war of 1997. The first footage before the war began was practically the same as the Tirana protests I was watching live in February of this year.

Today those small protests have escalated into incredibly massive protests stretching across the country. These massive protests in Tirana have occurred and grown every evening for more than 30 days in a row. Today was the first sign of real violence from the protestors against the Albanian police.

The protests began in opposition of what the people felt was a corrupt election protecting the power of their corrupt leader. Now, adding to the collective hate towards corrupt Edi Rama, is the fact that he sold out the Albanians to corrupt Jared Kushner.

One of the last undeveloped islands in the Balkans is Sazan Island in South Albania. This is the home to an ex-military base equipped with an entire underground tunnel system. Many are speculating this acquisition is intended to become the replacement of Epstein’s Island as the pedophile getaway for the luciferian elites.

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Sazan Island was a governmentally protected natural reserve protecting a myriad of wildlife, including flamingos. This is why the current Albanian protests have come to be known as the ‘Flamingo Revolution’. Edi Rama, a couple of years ago rewrote the laws protecting this government owned land to make it available to private investors. He specifically rewrote the laws to partake in this multi-billion dollar deal with Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, along with some powerful Qatar investors, the Al-Khayyat family. Rama sold them a large parcel of land so that Trump and Kushner could build a massive luxury resort catering to the world’s exclusive elite.

Jared Kushner, the Zionist puppet, says he was on the boat of his good friend Nat Rothschild’s boat when he and Ivanka first noticed the beauty of Sazan Island. Ivanka said “what a beautiful untouched island, let’s increase our wealth by destroying its beauty!”. Obviously that’s not a direct quote, but doesn’t it make sense that this was the spoiled, entitled girl’s thought process? In truth, I believe the true purposes behind this build project are so much more sinister than that.

Nat, or more accurately Nathaniel Philip Victor James Rothschild is the son of Jacob Rothschild, and is the 5th Baron Rothschild. It was Jared’s buddy, Nat, that introduced him to Edvin Rama and helped secure this land deal.

I’d like to invite you to do a little bit of research into The Rothschild family, their involvement in the formation of the nation of Israel, their global history of seizing shadow control of multiple monarchies through central banking loans, and their financial profiteering through World and regional wars throughout recent history. Look up pictures of the Clintons and other world leaders cozied up to Jacob Rothschild. Now consider the proximity of Rothschild’s influence to Donald Trump through Trump’s daughter and son-in-law. Again, research the Rothschild family’s involvement in the formation of the Israel nation. Do you think their interests may be very closely aligned with the Israel government’s interests?

Back to Albania and God’s protection. It is very much looking like Albania is on the verge of another civil war. God guided me to Albania to marry the woman he has chosen for me, my first marriage at 50 years old, during a time when the country was at peace. He guided me out of Albania, with my wife, right before the country erupted into chaos.

This was a long message to say quite simply… God is good. God is faithful. God will guide and protect us in all aspects of life. We must seek Him first. We must be faithful and follow His guidance, even when it is in opposition to our own desires or common sense logic.

I continue to walk with God faithfully. He continues to keep my finances moderate. He continues to not guide me back into the traditional work world. Now I know we are being led to live in Romania for the next two and a half months.

I know that I am so very excited to be a positive influence in the lives of children, and to have my soul invigorated with their innocence, imagination and childlike wonderment. My soul needs it. I have become so disillusioned with humanity and this physical world. I feel God is leading me to Romania for the children to serve me as much as I am being led to serve them.

Where will we go in two and half months? That will be revealed in God’s timing, not mine. Until then, I live in each moment faithfully and at peace. Amen.

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Question Everything with Patrick Ryan

Stories of Divine Intervention: How God Protects Us from Ourselves

Have you ever experienced Divine Intervention? Have you ever been a step away from disaster and had something that can’t be explained by logic save you from it? Lately I’ve been reflecting on a few instances when I was young, dumb and full of (fill in the blank)… when God stepped in and saved me from death…

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10 months ago · 30 likes · 9 comments · Patrick Ryan

God awaits for you to call upon Him. The human brain has limited reach. By calling upon the Lord he may tell you great and unsearchable things.

We have been conditioned through our governmental education systems and secular society to rely on our own minds to navigate our lives and find solutions to life’s many challenges. This is not necessary. We have access to the Wise Counselor, the Holy Spirit to communicate God’s wisdom and will to us.

Jesus left us the Father’s wisdom within us. God lives within you and I as the Holy Spirit. All we need to do is speak to him. God says in Jeremiah, “call to me and I will answer you”. In addition, as Jesus, He tells us:

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The Bible does not tell us we will receive wisdom by sitting passively. God continuously gives us specific action commands: “Call”, “Seek”, “Knock”. The Lord awaits for you to call out to Him, seek His face, Knock on His heavenly door. When we obey and take the actions that he has invited us to take, he will respond. The response may not always be what we want to hear, but he will respond nevertheless.

When we approach life from our own minds and using our own efforts to figure out life’s challenges or big decisions we are limited in our understanding. We are confined to the worldly information and knowledge that our brain has had access to. We cannot know that which we have not learned. God knows all. He knows all that is, has been, and will be.

Submit to the Lord all of your decisions and uncertainties. Pray for his guidance. Pray to be able to view life through spiritual eyes and understanding. In order to truly walk in wisdom, we must walk with the Creator of all things. We must practice turning to prayer during all times of uncertainty.

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You are blessed with a direct channel to God’s all knowing wisdom. He may not reveal all there is to know because you are not prepared to receive certain information. He will reveal what is beneficial for you in that moment. He will reveal more than you may presently know from your worldly accumulation of knowledge.

Uncertainty is a permeating result of the human condition. We will always face crossroads with which we do not know which way is best. We will continue to be blindsided by unexpected challenges and tragedies. Your brain will never be a consistently reliable tool to navigate the uncertainties of life. Seeking God’s infinite wisdom through continual prayer is the only reliable source to life’s complex decisions.

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Lord Jesus clearly taught us in the Gospel of Mark that the two greatest commandments for us to follow are to love God with all our heart, soul, and strength; and to love our neighbor as ourselves. For many of us the first commandment can feel much easier than the second.

The second commandment tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. What happens though when we don’t love ourselves? Does this not reflect how we treat our neighbors? Our family? Our children? Our friends?

Whether we have a hard time loving our neighbors because we don’t love ourselves, or we love ourselves fine and just have a hard time loving certain people, there is but one solution. Place all of your focus on loving God first. When you truly love God with all of your heart that love naturally spills over into your self-love and an organic love for others.

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What is it to truly love God? Many say and believe they love God, yet their daily life choices do not necessarily reflect that love.

Does true love not begin within an intimate relationship? How can we truly love God with all of our heart when we are not setting aside time on a regular basis to connect with Him and seek to know Him deeply and intimately. When we love God deeply, we can’t wait to sit in prayer with Him. The more we cultivate this intimate and personal relationship with Him we carry more of Him with us through all situations.

Are we loving God when we abuse our bodies through unhealthy eating, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and sloth? Are we loving God when we contribute to the physical misuse of others?

You and I are the living temple of God’s Spirit living within us, so are our neighbors. When we truly love God with all our soul, do we not act in ways that protect his Holy Temple in all its forms?

It is not only through our physical actions that we violate the sanctity of God’s temple; it also happens through the heart and mind. Is lustful desire an element of God’s love? Are we expressing the love of Christ when we lust after another?

When we love God with all of our heart, soul, and strength, lust no longer holds real estate within our hearts and minds. The degree to which we fight against the desires of the flesh shows the degree of our true love for God.

Are we expressing God’s love when we interact with our neighbors or ourselves from a place of pride, greed, or wrath?

It is one thing to privately think or publicly claim that you love God with all your heart, but your daily life illustrates your love, or lack of love, for God. As you’re living each day, practice checking in throughout the day and asking yourself if your day thus far has been a living expression of your wholehearted love for God.

As you use your free will to navigate your daily life in a way that is a living expression of your heartfelt love for the Heavenly Father, you will naturally begin to love yourself more as Christ loves you. As you love yourself deeper through the heart of Jesus Christ, you will naturally be able to better love your neighbor as yourself.

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It’s easy to love neighbors who are also walking expressions of God’s love. It is easy to love those who are kind, generous, humorous, and loving. We are called to love ALL our neighbors as we love ourselves.

Do not reflect the iniquities of others; reflect the unconditional love of Christ. Give freely to those who are unkind, without expectation of return. Smile at frowning faces. Forgive those who transgress upon you. Pray for those who consistently disturb the peace.

What Jesus is commanding of us here goes against our fleshly instincts. We must strengthen ourselves within Christ so that we are able to resist succumbing to emotional reactivity. We accomplish this by loving God with all of our heart, soul, and strength.

The more we spend our hours, days, and years committed to loving God first above all else, the more we are naturally prone towards good, and the more we naturally deny that which is evil.

We love God because He loved us first. Our protection and guidance lives within His glorious truth.

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You were not saved by service; you were saved for service. Before your earthly parents conceived you, God had already chosen your soul to serve his purposes on this earth. He created you as an individual with specific skills and abilities to fulfill a Divine purpose in alignment with the Father’s will.

Everything you have experienced in this life, whether seemingly negative or positive, has happened to form you into becoming the person God needs you to be to serve his own purpose and grace. Nothing has been accidental. Everything in your life has happened for His reasons.

What is your specific calling? How has your life so far prepared you to serve His Holy purpose in your life? What is God’s will in your individual life?

How has Jesus healed you? Do you serve Him in gratitude? Or do you take your healing for granted?

Peter’s mother-in-law had been deathly ill for a long time. As soon as Jesus lifted her illness, she did not hesitate to repay him with service. She did not think about what she had been unable to do and sought to “make up for lost time”. She was filled with the Holy Spirit and absolute gratitude for her new found health. She did not seek to serve her own interests, she was excited to serve her healer, her redeemer.

You and I were not created to live a life of serving our own interests. Our personal interests are insignificant compared to the interests and desires of the ONE who created us.

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Where is your focus on a daily basis? Are you seeking to fulfill your own needs? Or are you seeking to fulfill the needs of others through the guidance of the Holy Spirit? Are you seeking personal glory or God’s glory?

It is hard sometimes to put others before ourselves because we see people as being separate from ourselves. What if instead of seeing others as people, we see them as embodiments of Christ; the image of God in human form? From this perspective we are not serving people, we are serving the LORD in all that we do for others.

I encourage you to pray today, tomorrow, and the next day for Jesus to show you the Father’s will in your life. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions to be in complete alignment with God’s will and purposes in every aspect of your daily life. Amen.

Thank you for taking the time to reflect with me on these Biblical scriptures. I hope you received value from these thoughts today. If you are feeling called to support this Independent Christian writer, your Upgraded Subscription is deeply appreciated. Thank you for your generous support…

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We all have lived sinful lives; some of us more than others. God frees us from guilt and shame through his loving forgiveness. Our Father in heaven offers us unconditional love; he does not offer us unconditional forgiveness. He only asks one thing from us before he forgives our transgressions; that we forgive all of those who have transgressed against us.

We all want forgiveness, even when sometimes we don’t feel we deserve it. Sometimes though, we do not want to forgive others when we don’t feel they deserve it. There is some sense of distorted self righteousness that seems to give us a false sense of power over those we have not forgiven. It’s as though we feel by forgiving them we are approving of their behavior. Forgiveness is not approval. God forgives us even when he does not approve of our behavior.

Holding resentment towards another is like ingesting poison and expecting the other person to become ill. Resentment towards others is a self-imposed sickness. Forgiveness is the remedy.

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You, me, and every sack of flesh and bones around us are imperfect human beings. None of us have lived perfect lives. We have offended and wronged other people, whether intentionally or not. We have rebelled against God, whether intentionally or not. We have done harm to ourselves, whether intentionally or not. God is ready to forgive each of us for all of our flaws and unrighteous behavior. How can we think that we are above offering this same loving forgiveness to our enemies, or to ourselves?

Even when we shift our focus away from these Biblical teachings and look at quantum science, we can see there is a Universal Law (created by God) that shows us that what we put out into the Universe comes back to us.

When we resent others, we receive resentment from people. When we judge, we are judged. When we steal from others, we are stolen from. When we covet the spouse or belongings of another, there is someone feeling covetous towards us. When we refuse to forgive those who have wronged us, there are those we have wronged who are refusing to forgive us.

There is nothing more cleansing and healing than God’s forgiveness. Before surrendering my life to God through Jesus, I spent years riddled with shame. I spent a couple decades studying the science of influence and dark psychology so that I could subliminally steer people towards serving my worldly needs. I was a womanizer for more than 30 years. I talked people out of their hard-earned money as a crooked salesman. I spent decades as a porn and sex addict. I have stolen, lied, and laid with prostitutes. By the time I reached my mid-forties and finally took an honest look at who I was and have been my entire adult life, I felt I was beyond forgiveness and beyond redemption.

That shame pulled me into the deepest recesses of hellish darkness. The moment I verbally repented for my sins and consciously invited Jesus into my heart and soul, surrendering to Him as my Lord and Savior, all of my long held guilt and shame washed away in an instant.

Before that moment though, I had already done the inner work to forgive others. There was no one in my heart or mind that I still held resentment towards, except myself. The moment I repentented, I also forgave myself. From this space, I was clear to receive God’s loving forgiveness and acceptance into his good graces.

Who do you need to forgive right now at this moment? Take a moment and reflect…

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I have met many Christians throughout the years who go to church every Sunday, pray for others, and have many Bible verses memorized, who at the same time carry resentment and unforgiveness in their hearts towards those they have felt wronged by. It has seemed that these feelings of unforgiveness are most often directed towards spouses, parents, and siblings.

Sometimes those we love most are the hardest to forgive, because their transgressions against us hurt the deepest. When those who we are meant to feel safe around, the ones we are most vulnerable with, hurt us with their words or actions it causes an internal pain that can stay with us our entire lives.

Even the deepest emotional pain is ready to be lifted from us by our Heavenly Father. First we must forgive the ones that caused it. The ones we love, the ones who were in positions to take advantage of our vulnerability, are the ones we must forgive the most.

The clerk at the market who was rude to you today is easy to forgive. Your Mother or Father violating your trust is incredibly hard. Only when we truly forgive those who have hurt us the most will we be free to fully receive the LORD’s forgiveness for us.

Even when the repeat offenders keep showing up, whether that’s family, bosses, or anyone we feel obligated to stay in contact with, we must continue to forgive them each time. Even if they trespass against us 490 times, we must sincerely forgive them every time.

Make no mistake, as we continue this human experience, no matter how good our intentions are, we will continue to transgress against God. While He asks us to forgive one person 490 times, he will forgive us 4,900 times.

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You and I were born for a mission. Jesus called us out of the darkness so that we may share his light. No two of us will be called to serve His mission in the same way. We all have been blessed with unique gifts, talents, and personal histories that are intended to be used for His glory.

It took me almost 50 years to finally surrender my life to His calling. I do not think this was an accident. That rebellious spirit was instilled within me on purpose. By seeking truth and denying it at the same time, it has led me to study many, and walk within, many different belief systems. It has allowed me to spend time traversing the dark world of drugs and crime, while developing genuine friendships with the ones society judges and looks down upon. I have shared authentic connections and dialogues with prostitutes, drug addicts, thieves and killers.

Today, I am able to encounter new people without preconceived judgements regardless of their appearance or personal histories. I am able to engage in civil discourse and deep spiritual discussions with people of all different faiths. And I am unyielding in my faith when faced with theological persuasion of different kinds, because in many cases I’ve already explored their teachings.

What are your unique gifts? How has your life thus far prepared you to be a vessel for Jesus to work through? How are you being called upon to serve?

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Though the name “Great Commission” is not found in the Bible, it has become a common name given to the mission of Christians. Jesus clearly calls to this mission when he tells his disciples:

My feeling is many Christians force themselves to act against their God given nature when feeling compelled to act upon this command. While conversely, others pray, listen, recognize their gifts and act accordingly.

For those who force themselves into this Christian duty without proper prayer, patience and spiritual discernment, they often do more to repel the unsaved away from Christ rather than attract them closer. These are the people going around telling every unbeliever they meet that they are destined for hell and spout bible verses to ears that are not yet spiritually attuned to hear them. I am not here to judge, maybe this approach truly is some people’s calling. I would imagine though, many are just not living in alignment with the Father’s will for their calling.

I can’t imagine showing up to gay pride parades with a microphone and loudspeaker telling everyone there that they are going to burn in a fiery hell, while spouting verses from a book they don’t currently believe in is going to magically change their sexuality and bring them into Biblical alignment. It most likely causes more people to say: “this is why I don’t believe in Christianity.”

We are called to be gentle and patient. We live as examples of Christ on this earth. We leave it up to the will of God whether or not to give them repentance and lead them to the full knowledge of truth. We are not here to infringe on other people’s free will. We are called to be lights on the hill.

Imagine if you were able to lead people to Christ without even knowing you were doing it. What if just by you living your daily life in a Christlike way was causing people to become curious as to why you show up to life in the way you do? What if their internal dialogue shifted to: “how can I be more like him/her?”.

We cannot convert people who have not been prepared by God. Despite the love and efforts of Jesus, some will never be ready in this lifetime. We must be patient to practice present awareness and spiritual discernment. Of course we want everyone to experience the joy and contentment we have been gifted by accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior; we must release our own will and desires so that the Father’s will be done.

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Jesus did not force himself into people’s hearts and lives. We must not attempt to force him into people’s hearts as well. Jesus showed them God’s love and grace, graciously invited them to follow him, then waited patiently for them to knock on his door and ask for his presence.

We must understand that we are working through human mechanisms. This means we must understand and work in accordance with human psychology. Until they are ready to surrender their minds and open their hearts to the Holy Spirit, most are ruled by their psychology, subconscious conditioning, and emotional wounds. There is a science to influence. Directly challenging people’s beliefs by encroaching your own is largely ineffective in persuading people.

If you want people to be curious enough to ask about your faith, first be curious about theirs. Do not tell them why they are wrong. Ask them why they believe what they do. Learn how their beliefs impact their lives. It’s only from this personal understanding that you are able to share Biblical teachings in a way that they may understand and resonate with.

I do my best not to think that I have any idea of what God’s purpose is with anyone besides myself. I am sure there is a purpose for certain believers to aggressively oppose people’s beliefs and scream Bible passages into deaf ears. The key is that we each spend time praying for the Holy Spirit to guide us in how Jesus wants to use us specifically to serve the Father’s will.

I believe we are a team. Maybe you are not personally responsible for making disciples of every non-believer you encounter. Maybe sometimes we are just meant to gently plant seeds to prepare them for a later time when they will meet the person whose purpose is to properly disciple them.

What is your role in Jesus’ ministry? How can you live His mission in your everyday life?

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Refraining from enacting our own vengeance and praying for those who wrong us is probably one of the toughest challenges in our faith journey. It seems to be human nature, animalistic nature, to react with retribution towards those who threaten our well being.

As I was reading through 1 Samuel today I was reminded of what true faith in God looks like. David was being hunted like an animal by King Saul. David and his small army of about 600 troops were moving from place to place, hiding in caves and the wilderness, evading Saul and his 3000 soldiers.

Finally, God presented David with the opportunity to enact his own vengeance. As David and his troops were hiding in the recesses of a cave, God led Saul to this very cave where he went off by himself to relieve himself.

As he was vulnerable and exposed, David was able to sneak close to him without detection. With Goliath’s sword, David could have ended Saul right there, freeing himself from being hunted and claiming the throne that Samuel anointed him to claim. He did not. Instead he cut a corner of Saul’s robe and returned to his troops deep in the cave.

God fulfilled his promise of delivering David’s enemy to him, and allowed David to use his free will to do what he wished.

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When he returned with the piece of Saul’s robe his men urged him to return and kill the King of Israel. Instead David chose to faithfully leave his vengeance to God. He humbled himself and surrendered his fate to the hands of his pursuer:

We all have had people do us wrong. We have been lied to, stolen from, had personal boundaries and peace trespassed upon. Have any of us had someone relentlessly hunt us with the intention of killing us?

If David could refrain from enacting vengeance when he had the opportunity, on someone who intended to end his life, then how can we possibly justify retaliatory actions in our own lives.

David quoted an old proverb that says “out of the wicked comes wickedness”. This is very well aligned with Jesus’ teaching:

How we choose to respond to things shows who we are within. We can consider ourselves to be good people while at the same time being blinded to our own wickedness in our hearts. We can find all kinds of ways to justify wicked behavior in our own clouded minds.

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When I was a child I was very passive. I used to tolerate bullying from other children and adults. Something shifted in high school. I no longer let disrespect slide. I remember stabbing a kid with a sharpened number two pencil in the middle of class because I felt disrespected.

When that shift first happened I handled things reactively. I quickly learned that the consequences weren’t worth it, whether I felt justified in my actions or not. So I learned to be patient and calculating in my retribution. I would carry a mental list of those who wronged me. I would wait until time had separated emotion from the event, and the memory faded. Then I would orchestrate unfortunate events in their lives that seemed to be random; they were not random, they were payback from perceived wrongdoing.

I never needed them to know that I was evening the score. I just could not let these unbalanced scales to exist in the Universe. I felt that I needed to balance the scales of justice on my own. These actions of payback were not limited to individuals, they stemmed to former employers, businesses, and institutions.

Since I was saved by Christ two and a half years ago, this has naturally changed within me. I have faced injustices since, and I have let them go. I trust that God will balance the scales in accordance with his will. If he needs my involvement, he will guide me.

Since I left the United States in February of 2025 and have been living in Albania, as well as traveling throughout Greece and North Macedonia these past few months, I have faced many tests. There have been times when my old self was harshly poked and awakened with a fury. The old thought processes of planning and strategizing revenge would take hold.

My old self is weak now. It carries no strength. He grabs hold of my entire being for a short period of time. I indulge in the wicked thoughts and emotions for a while as my adrenaline is pumping. Then in the midst of the fire, I mentally start talking to Jesus. Then I find space to be by myself and I audibly pray to my Lord.

I ask for the strength to forgive them for they know not what they do. I ask for the faith to trust God to enact justice in his way, not mine. And soon, despite the transgressions put upon me, I feel peace. Not long after that, I forget about those who have wronged me.

If Jesus, hanging from the cross physically and emotionally suffering, can forgive the ones who hung him there, the ones standing there still mocking him; how can any of us justify holding grudges against those who have hurt our feelings, stolen from us, or made our circumstances complicated?

First we must forgive those who have transgressed against us. Next we must pray for them. This is where the true healing begins. Not only do we forgive and forget, we serve those who have hurt us.

This past year I have been getting much better at following these commands that Jesus has given us. As we often do, I have my animalistic human reaction first ready to inflict vengeance upon those who have violated my peace. Then I pray for those who have mistreated me. I forgive them. If there is an opportunity, I do good for them.

As a result of these actions, I come back to loving them as I love all of God’s children. I don’t necessarily like them or want anything to do with them, but I continue to carry love in my heart and soul for their innate divinity. If God resides within all of his creations, then to carry hate for another human being is to carry hate towards God.

This is not easy for our human nature. We must carry Christ in our hearts and rely on our personal relationship with Jesus to live in this way. It takes practice. It takes prayer. It takes humility and surrender.

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How many times have you felt that you are not worthy of God’s loving hand upon you? Have you ever felt that with all the wrong you have done in the past, there is no way God could forgive you?

I have spoken to many throughout the years who have given up on following God or attempting to know him because they felt they have done so many ‘unGodly’ things in their lives, there is no way God will forgive them and share his favor with them. I have also felt this way, on a subconscious level. I have subconsciously rejected God because I felt I was unworthy of his attention.

When we turn away from God because we deeply feel he will reject us if we seek him, we turn our attention to “worthless” things. We seek worldly things to “rescue” us from our feelings of unworthiness. We seek worldly pursuits to “profit” us.

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God is always ready to forgive us for our transgressions. All we need to do is sincerely repent and ask for his forgiveness. He will open his loving arms and embrace us back into his covenant.

Most of us have sinned out of ignorance. Many of us, like myself, were not raised with Biblical wisdom. We were raised in secular homes, or other religions and spiritual philosophies. Others, who were raised with Biblical teachings, were maybe not taught to make the effort to interpret the teachings and seek to understand how they apply to their lives and daily actions.

Even the Apostle Paul, who was personally responsible for the murder of Christians was forgiven. Here he confesses:

What happens though when ignorance is no longer a viable excuse? How do things change when we have been given the message of the Holy Spirit?

The Bible tells us all sins are forgiven except for one:

We all do our best to navigate the daily conflict between our flesh and spirit. We have emotional reactions, we indulge in pleasurable things, and allow our thoughts to go in unholy directions. If we are sincere in our walk with the Lord, we catch ourselves and get back on track. Then we fall away again, catch ourselves and get back on track. We are sincere in our hearts to want to live in alignment with God’s righteousness.

When the Holy Spirit has called us and shown us God’s truth, and we purposefully and intentionally deny that truth and turn away from God continuously with hardened hearts; this sin is unforgivable. When we use our free will to deliberately fight against God, our heart hardens and our mind is corrupted; this is when we will begin seeing good as evil, and evil as good.

When the spirit is intentionally squelched and the mind is naturally twisted, we will fool ourselves into believing we are good people as we continually do evil. All the while justifying it through corrupted psychology and perverted self-righteousness.

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I believe this one sin is unforgivable because if we take this path we can quickly spiral downward into darkness to the point of no return. When anger towards God, which many of us have experienced, turns to hatred towards him the heart becomes so hardened it cannot sincerely open itself to him even if the mind shifts its beliefs.

As human beings we will fall. We will doubt. We will feel frustration with our Father. We will feel ignored and sometimes abandoned. We will seek comfort in worldly things. We will abuse our bodies. We will hurt others. We will remain far from our Father’s home for extended periods of time.

Just like the Father of the Prodigal Son, our Heavenly Father will greet us with joy, love, hugs and kisses when we make the choice to return to his covenant.

No matter how long you have been away from your Father’s home, or even if you have never known your Heavenly Father, he lovingly awaits your return.

Turn away from all of the worthless things in this world. Turn towards your Lord and Savior, repent for your sins, ask for forgiveness, and worship God with all of your heart. When you do, he will welcome you home with open arms and embrace you with a love that no one on this earth can offer you, not even your earthly parents, children or spouse. There is no human love that compares to the true unconditional love that God holds for you that is always available.

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The Lord is my shepherd. I do my best to surrender my own will everyday, and instead live in alignment with my Father’s will. I find when I surrender in this way I truly do not want. My personal egoic desires have become so faint.

The closer I remain with him the more contentment in each moment I feel. It truly feels like laying down in green pastures. There is a freshness that permeates through me. For many years I have known roaring rapids within me. When I allow the Lord to lead my life, I am one with still waters.

My soul was decaying and growing dark. The Lord as Jesus the Christ has restored my soul, renewed in his beautiful image. As I live for the glory of his name, my new nature leads me towards his righteousness.

This fallen world permeates the shadow of death all around me. To navigate as a human being, I am often walking through the valley. I close my eyes and call his name and he raises me to the mountain top of the Most High. Though evil surrounds me in its many deceitful forms, I fear it not. My Lord is always with me. My body is his temple for the Holy Spirit to breathe life into this dying world.

As I stray from his flock and follow my own pursuits, his rod and his staff lovingly direct me back into his protection; I am comforted by his Fatherly discipline. For I am his loyal disciple.

Though my Lord and Savior has many enemies in this world, who are also mine, I am abundantly provided for; my table is full, health is strong, my pineal gland shines brightly, and my treasures in Heaven are abundantly overflowing.

As my soul traverses this temporary human experience, God’s grace, goodness, and mercy follow me, as I follow my Good Shepherd with each step. This world cannot harm me because the flesh is temporary; my soul is destined to dwell in the house of my Lord through infinity.

Amen

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As I was praying to Jesus to guide me through the Holy Spirit on what to write in alignment with the Father’s will, I noticed I needed more light. I got up, flipped the nearby switch. As I was sitting back at the table, I hit my head on the corner of a shelf. My immediate reaction was to project an F-bomb from my mouth, followed by “what the F#$%@ is that s!#*?”.

My very next instinct was to ask God for forgiveness. Then I understood he was guiding me on what to write.

It is natural for us to have a human reaction when we are unexpectedly distressed. The important thing is that we catch ourselves as quickly as possible and surrender to the flow of the Holy Spirit within us.

There is no need to feel guilty or beat ourselves up. We are already forgiven before we even ask. I have been learning to see these situations that cause me to quickly react in anger as opportunities to learn and grow.

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I am a baby in Christ. I was just saved two and a half years ago. Though I felt a clear transformation immediately when I repented for my sins and consciously accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, there has been a continual gradual transformation happening as well.

The time between my human reaction and my spiritual reaction has shrunk significantly. Early in my walk with God the lingering anger and frustration, accompanied by the inner self talk of indignation, would carry on much longer. This moment of hitting my head is minor and now very simple to release within seconds. However, I have been faced with much greater challenges within these past couple of years.

A little over a year after surrendering my life to Jesus, the Lord commanded me to leave the comforts of the United States and move to Albania. Albania is a much more economically and spiritually challenged country. There is an added underlying stress to everyday life, especially in the capital city, Tirana.

When I flew into Tirana my intention was to only stay no more than a couple of months and then move to one of the smaller, slower paced, less populated cities. This was not God’s will. Very quickly God connected me with the woman he wanted me to marry.

I stayed in Tirana to date her and build the foundations of our relationship. There have been many challenges to test me during this time. I now understand, or have a sense of understanding, as to why God guided me there. He needed me to grow up in Christ quickly because there were duties he needed me to perform for him.

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This past year and half has been a powerful training time. I have learned to quickly pray for my enemies. Surrender when my pride is challenged through embarrassing circumstances. Practice patience and compassion with my wife, which has helped me extend that grace to strangers as well.

I recognize clearly, I could not do these things so quickly and naturally without Jesus Christ within me. I have long been a ‘spiritual’ person and have done my best to do good in God’s sight, without having any Biblical clue as to what that actually is. But at the end of each day, all of my spiritual efforts were being done through my own fleshly will power.

I am in awe at the way I naturally react to things through Christ within my heart. I see it most clearly within my marriage. I have purposely remained mostly single, avoiding marriage, for my entire adult life. I am now 50. Even at this age, I could not have managed to remain in this marriage without Christ. I catch myself every so often moving through something that is not pleasant to my personality, and it happens with effortless grace.

My wife is a true daughter of God. She was saved about ten or so years before me, coming into her thirties. Because we both live to serve God’s will over our own and individually make time to cultivate our relationship with him through Christ, our conflicts are rare and resolve themselves extremely quickly. I could not have done this with a worldly woman, or when I was still personally separated from Christ.

Even with the plethora of spiritual books, psychology books, and relationship books I have studied throughout the past three decades, and the regular meditation and other healthy life habits, I could not have managed to remain married for the long haul. God’s grace keeps my ego and worldly personality in check.

I still have that initial human reaction, developed in my subconscious mind through the worldly life I’ve lived. It fades so quickly though. It has become a habit to immediately turn to prayer and forgiveness when I am perturbed.

I understand this ongoing internal transformation and continual tension between my flesh and His spirit will be something I need to remain vigilant in navigating for the rest of this Earthly journey.

I am just so grateful to my Heavenly Father, who is also my Earthly brother through Jesus, that he is always there when I need him. I feel his presence so clearly anytime I pray, even when only through my thoughts silently. When I use my free will to reach out to Him for help and guidance he embraces me and lifts me above the earthly challenges I am facing.

Amen.

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We are taught from a very young age to compete and fight to be number one. We are conditioned to get good grades to earn our parents’ approval. On the playground at school it is the winners of the games that are praised and looked up to. When we enter the workforce we are incentivised to out work our co-workers to get the promotion to earn more money and have more clout. And on and on it goes.

The collective societal conditioning is to compete rather than serve. In the physical world that mentality seems to pay dividends. We see the most conniving and heartless stepping on the heads of others as they defeat their competition all the way up into their mansions on the hill. Meanwhile we see the humble in heart, the ones who sacrifice personal gain to serve others, financially suffering and living in challenging conditions.

This temporal world cannot fulfill us. Our true treasures are in Heaven. No matter how hard you compete, how often you win, how financially rich you become, how big your mansion is, how much praise and envy you receive from others, it is never enough. You always need more, because you are trying to fill a void that can only be filled by Jesus Christ. And to fill that void, we must aim to be Christlike.

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

When we think about entering Heaven it is natural for us to think about entering when we leave this physical world. I believe it is important for us to prepare for that beautiful transition. However, Jesus also told us:

Other translations read “the Kingdom of Heaven is within”.

We see the condition of people’s souls by how they show up in life. So often, right here, we see that the first are often last. We see the inherent discontent and unhappiness of the ones who relentlessly discarded others to accumulate their wealth.

When I used to live in the Hollywood area and was pursuing an acting career it was so common for people to name drop and brag about their connections to celebrities. I was at a few parties where celebrities were present. You could see people leeching onto them, on their left and right side, trying to find value through their connection with them. It feels like a very similar mentality to what James and John had when they were trying to gain value by being the closest of the disciples to Jesus.

You can see this sometimes in churches also, where there is a certain sense of pride and specialness within certain members of the congregation or leadership who have a direct relationship with the pastor.

We have been conditioned to seek value from external validation. We have been wired to gain rather than give. We seek to gain compliments, recognition, status, attention, love, and shiny things. Idolatry shows up in many concealed forms.

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There is this inherent drive within the many to seek to elevate themselves above others, and have a sense of control. I used to study a lot of Taoism. It is a beautiful spiritual philosophy and very aligned with the teachings of Jesus. It often talked about leaders serving from below, not above.

We lead others by washing their feet, not stepping on their heads.

When we stop trying to use our own will to raise ourselves up, and instead humble ourselves placing our focus on elevating others, the Most High lifts us into the highest places.

Some of the most peaceful and content people I have met throughout this life were people who had very little unnecessary possessions, humble homes, and made modest livings. The people I am remembering all had one thing in common; they lived every day with hearts of service.

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I’ve personally lived on both sides during different periods of life. I have experienced periods of great worldly ambition. I have lived periods of giving most everything away and asking every day “how may I serve”. During the ambitious periods I drove nice cars and had ample money in the bank. During other times I had just enough to sustain me. I most certainly felt more peaceful and content during the periods of placing service over self; as I do today.

The last shall be first. Be a vessel for God to work through. Serve others in the name of His glory. May Jesus Christ always be your true north. Serve others openly, freely, and without fear. Trust that as you take care of the needs of others, your Heavenly Father will take care of you. When your work is done here, you will be among the first to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, free from ego and all physical limitations.

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As I walk through this fallen world I am strengthened by the Lord. The devil waits around every corner and in every bush like a roaring lion waiting to pounce. As I face his lies and schemes I stand firm, protected by the full armor of God.

Though my enemy appears through human vessels, my struggle is not against flesh and blood. From spiritual forces in the heavens that have been forced out, fallen to this world, this cosmic darkness wields evil through its earthly rulers and authorities.

Each morning I take up my full armor of God so that I may be prepared for the evil day, to resist and faithfully stand my ground.

As I face the Father of Lies in his many forms, my belt of truth helps me to see through his deception. The Holy Spirit intuitively guides me towards the truth of Christ in every journey.

As he attacks me through emotional manipulation, my heart remains protected by the chestplate of righteousness. As I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart as my Lord and Savior, he is always present shining his magnificent light to blind the dark ones.

With every step I take, though I may walk upon trembling ground, I remain stable with my feet sandaled with readiness for the gospel of peace. Each morning I lace up my boots of peace rooted in the unconditional love, acceptance, and presence of Lord Jesus Christ.

As I look upon the dark night sky, it is lit with the glow of fire from the barrage of flaming arrows flying towards me. I do not run, I do not fret. In every situation, I raise up my shield of faith to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. Lucifer’s fire is a false light, my faith shines the true light of the world illuminating all falsehoods.

I do not retaliate with arrows, missiles, bullets, or any other worldly weapons. I protect my mind with the helmet of salvation through God’s word and wield the sword of the Spirit. My weapon was not forged with steel, loaded with lead. My ammunition was forged in heaven and loaded onto papyrus, parchment, and vellum.

I move within a fortress of solitude built by daily prayer in the Spirit of Christ. As challenges arise, I request the solutions and stay alert with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.

Even when faced with persecution, like my mentor Paul, through the Holy Spirit I will open my mouth and make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel. For in the end days, even if they put me in chains or behind bars I will pray for the strength to be bold enough to speak about it as I should, and to be the ambassador to Christ that he has called me to be.

Amen

“Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by his vast strength.

Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens.

For this reason take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything to take you stand.

Stand, therefore, with truth like a belt around your waist, righteousness like armor on your chest, and your feet sandaled with readiness for the gospel of peace.

In every situation take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit — which is the word of God.

Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.

Pray also for me, that the message may be given to me when I open my mouth to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel.

For this I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I might be bold enough to speak about it as I should.” — Ephesians 6:10-20 (CSB)

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What if the algorithm isn’t just showing you content… but teaching you what to worship?

READ THE ESSAY THAT INSPIRED THIS VIDEO:

'Is the Algorithm the New False Prophet? How AI Is Replacing Scripture with Seduction'
https://substack.com/@patrickryan333/p-168383378

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The essay below was originally published on Substack through my Question Everything publication on April 22, 2025 — I originally wrote this essay around March of 2024, about four months after surrendering my life to Christ.

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What Is It to Be Human? Often I feel like an alien from another world that has come here to study and examine the human species. After almost 30 years of study and research into the deepest depths of theology, the occult, psychology, and an extensive exploration of many different modalities related to personal and spiritual development — and using myself essentially as a guinea pig to experience much of what I’ve studied — I have transformed into something different from most of those whom I observe and interact with in daily life.

After many deeply spiritual and almost otherworldly personal experiences, it is foreign to me how connected most people seem to be to this physical world we experience. Certainly, I am as well to a large extent, but for most of my adult life the non-physical has always felt much more real.

It’s fascinating — all of the different ways individuals experience and choose to navigate this life. Different beliefs in a higher power or the lack thereof. The different emotions we feel and what triggers them. The different family dynamics. Addictions and vices. What is the purpose of this human experience?

The question of what the purpose of this human experience is, is one that can never be truly and unequivocally answered. There are so many theories with compelling reasons why those theories may be valid. Is there one overarching purpose? Or does each individual have a separate purpose? Or is there no purpose? Is this just random, organized chaos?

There must be some purpose. Why else do we rise out of bed and endure every day? Every one of us has the free will and the means to end this human experience at any time. Some do make that choice to end it. But the very high majority choose not to. Most of us choose to keep on facing the challenges. Some face horrendous challenges and choose to stay and face them.

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I have been at the precipice of suicide twice in my life. There was a third time when I was 18, but it wasn’t serious. I thought it was at the time, but there was nothing truly within me that would have taken that action. The other two times were very real. What stopped me from taking the action?

In my first real battle with suicidal tendencies, the only two things that I feel kept me from consuming the pill cocktail were: I just couldn’t do that to my parents, and I was afraid of it not working and making my life circumstances worse. My parents are both good-hearted people who did the best they knew how to raise my younger sister and me. When I would imagine their intense suffering, it was too much to bear. So I chose to endure my deep pain and suffering to spare them from theirs.

Seven or so years later, during the second time I was on the brink, sparing my parents’ heartache was not enough. I was in such a self-centered space of intense loneliness and isolation that I felt, “Why should I face years more of deep suffering to spare them? They have their own path to navigate. Their feelings are not my responsibility.” Every day it took everything within me to not make that trip to the store to purchase what I needed to end it all. I truly believe if I already had the necessary ingredients, I would have absolutely written individual notes to my mom, dad, and sister and ended my life.

It wasn’t just my personal struggles that caused my intense desire to exit this perceived shit show. I have been a seeker of truth my whole adult life. That led me to study and learn about the real history and events that happen in our world. Behind the facades that media, politicians, and advertisers work so diligently to convince us is real is something much more sinister. In today’s zeitgeist, many of these truths are coming to the public eye, along with the continual propaganda to discredit, dismiss, and distract us from these truths.

The fact that more people are awakening to the deception does not in and of itself make it any easier to navigate and live with. This last time I was going to kill myself, it was largely because I was looking at the evil agendas at play and the powerful momentum they had — and saw no hope in its projected trajectory. I still don’t, to a large extent.

What saved my life? What took me from a hopeless, self-centered existence to a renewed optimism and excitement to live and continue growing in this human experience? GOD.

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On the third day of continual inner battles to keep me from driving to the store and buying my death concoction, I prayed. I was not a Christian at this time. I believed in a higher power that I called “The Universe,” “Higher Power,” “All That Is,” and sometimes “God.” I viewed Christ as a state of consciousness that I had not felt close to in a very long time. Jesus was my favorite metaphysical teacher, but was an ordinary human. But I gave up on God some time ago. I held to my beliefs in metaphysics and my ability to create using my subconscious mind. But I had largely given up any consistent practices to do that effectively.

Using the Universal Laws to create my reality had shown certain success during a few brief periods of my life. But I was using willpower — and the will weakens over time. It’s not sustainable long term, especially when we’re filled with destructive, disempowering subconscious conditioning from a childhood influenced by adults who just didn’t know any better.

When I first prayed on that third day, I prayed to God in a flood of tearful sorrow to please release me from my life in my sleep that night. “Please take me home, GOD!!!!!” God, in His love and mercy, did not comply. The next day I prayed the same, but the intensity of my pain had greatly lessened. The fifth day I prayed a different prayer. I prayed to God and my angels to help me live. I do not remember the specifics of how I phrased that prayer, but I accepted that God would not release me, and there was an innate drive to keep living, so I prayed for Him to help me live and feel good about it. I asked Him to guide me and show me why He wants me here. Show me how to live in this lost world.

When I engaged in affirmative prayer with GOD, I was changed. I immediately felt a sense of relief. And when I awoke the next day, I was transformed — born again. I did not declare myself Christian at that time. Over the next few months, God, through the power of Christ, brought messages of the gospel into my consciousness. Mainly on YouTube. I had not searched any Christian videos or influencers, but they started appearing in my algorithm. Most of them were sharing Christian perspectives on the many profound changes occurring throughout the world and cultures. I did not choose Jesus. Jesus chose me. My eyes are flooding with tears of gratitude as I write that last line.

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I clearly saw how serving GOD through Christ Jesus is the only answer. Our world has largely fallen into the depths of Satan’s clutches. Sin is celebrated and idolized. The false idols in human form parade across our television sets and computer screens with a glowing arrogance, as ignorant brainwashed humans praise them and dedicate their time and energy to emulate these demons.

It was no longer possible to be on the fence, dancing back and forth between allegiance to Jesus and Lucifer. We can no longer play both sides because the influence of the devil has become too powerful — and we will inevitably be pulled under into Hell.

The mainstream propaganda makes Hell seem like Eden. It is not. It is Hell. The only way to experience the false feeling of Eden in Hell is non-stop hedonism. But when you are in between your next pleasure-giving vice, you will feel the deep misery and sorrow that is the truth of Satan’s playground, which is Hell. Hell on earth and hell in your very soul. Our only lasting love, joy, and peace is in GOD. The only way to GOD is through Christ.

Though I still do not consciously know what the purpose of this human experience is, I do know unwaveringly that serving GOD is at its foundation.

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A little over a week ago I arrived in Thessaloniki, Greece. The city was founded around 315 BC by Cassander — a successor of Alexander the Great — and named the city Thessalonica after his wife, Thessalonike. There is a huge statue of Alexander the Great near the harbor. There are also many big, beautiful Orthodox churches here — that can be largely attributed to the efforts of the Apostle Paul during his second missionary journey around AD 49—51, leading many Greeks to Christ.

“Paul, Silvanus, and Timothy: To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace to you and peace.” — 1 Thessalonians 1:1

Being here in the city that housed the church that Paul so heart-feltly wrote his two letters to has been filling me with a special feeling. As I am here in this Biblically historical city, I want to reflect on Paul’s teachings in 1 & 2 Thessalonians and how they apply to modern life.

“As you know, like a father with his own children, we encouraged, comforted, and implored each one of you to walk worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.” — 1 Thessalonians 2:11–12

There are many believers today who feel called to share the gospel — maybe some feel more of an obligation than a calling — and we see many different approaches. I have seen so many that are trying to ‘save’ non-believers through harsh words and self-righteous judgement. Telling people their lives are wrong and they are going to burn in hell will turn many more people away from Christ than toward him.

Paul and his companions approached non-believers with a heart of love, acceptance, and non-judgement — just as Jesus did. We are called to be Christ-like. Jesus was harsh with the money changers and sometimes with the Pharisees; but he was loving and gentle with everyone else. Jesus reflected our Heavenly Father’s love for his children — like Paul, he encouraged, comforted, and lovingly implored the people to walk worthy of God. When Jesus would tell someone, “follow me,” it was an invitation, not a command.

I believe we are called to share the gospel in our beingness as much as our words, if not more. A good Father leads by example — this is the only way his children will be receptive to his teachings. When a Father tells his children to behave one way, but they observe him behaving in a different way, they will be influenced by his living example more than his words. It is no different for followers of Christ — we must do our best to live as walking examples of Jesus on Earth and allow those who do not yet know him to experience his grace through us — only then do we have any right to verbally preach the gospel and expect them to be receptive.

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“But as for us, brothers and sisters, after we were forced to leave you for a short time (in person, not in heart), we greatly desired and made every effort to return and see you face to face. So we wanted to come to you — even I, Paul, time and again — but Satan hindered us.” — 1 Thessalonians 2:17–18

Satan prowls around like a roaring lion waiting to attack. The more we dedicate our lives to serving the Lord and doing his good works in our lives, the more determined Satan is to obstruct our efforts. Personally, I have faced demon oppression many times throughout my life — never so strongly as I did over the first couple weeks after my baptism. Satan knew I would grow to become a threat to his nefarious mission, and he desperately tried to crush me while I was still an infant in Christ.

The New Testament shares stories of few more dedicated than Paul in growing the ministry of Christ — it seems Satan was at his throat constantly. The more committed we are to serving God and introducing others to the way, the truth, and the life of Jesus Christ, the greater threat we are to the Devil and his schemes. He will use everything he can to detour us from the Great Commission.

Though Satan may have many successes in temporarily detouring us from serving the world in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we must NEVER let him stop us from moving forward, growing in Christ, and sharing the gospel with the world. There is ONE truth — and Satan isn’t it.

“We sent Timothy, our brother and God’s coworker in the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you concerning your faith.” — 1 Thessalonians 3:2

I love the term “God’s coworker”. May we all strive to be God’s coworker and work at a level worthy of ‘employee of the month’. God is always working, and he uses us as vessels to implement his good deeds. We must build a co-creative relationship with our Heavenly Father — not sit on the couch chanting while he does all the work; unless he is calling us to sit on the couch and chant.

“Now may our God and Father himself, and our Lord Jesus, direct our way to you. And may the Lord cause you to increase and overflow with love for one another and for everyone, just as we also do for you. May he make your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints. Amen.” — 1 Thessalonians 3:11–13

Many Christians, especially those new to faith, feel uncomfortable with prayer. They feel they don’t know what to say to pray right — I know I very much felt that way when I first came to faith. 1 Thessalonians 3:11–13 is such a beautiful example of how to pray for what we desire in accordance with God’s will and how to pray for others.

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“For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you keep away from sexual immorality, that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not with lustful passions, like the Gentiles, who don’t know God.

This means one must not transgress against and take advantage of a brother or sister in this manner, because the Lord is an avenger of all these offenses, as we also previously told and warned you.

For God has not called us to impurity but to live in holiness. Consequently, anyone who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.” — 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8

We live in a time where casual sex has become the norm. Porn usage has become socially embraced — OnlyFans seems to be a growing career path for too many young women. Sleeping with someone within the first or second date — or hangout — has become an expectation. Many young men are giving up on finding female partners and depending solely on porn to fulfill their animalistic urges. And so much more impure sexual urges and actions are running rampant.

This is an area where I personally need to have faith in God’s grace and forgiveness. I wasn’t saved by Christ until November of 2023. Before being saved, I was a sinner in many different ways, but nowhere more than living a sexually impure life; I’ve been a sex addict since I was 16 all the way until being saved. I truly saw nothing wrong with my lifestyle — I thought “as long as I’m not harming anyone else and everything is consensual, what’s the harm? We’re all adults exercising our free will.”

When we are living sexually impure lifestyles, we are often not consciously aware of the deep-seeded harm we are doing to ourselves and contributing to others’ self-harm. A man may think what’s the harm in watching porn, these women are choosing to expose themselves — both the man and the woman are making a decision that is inflicting self-harm, and they are complicit in enabling each other’s harmful actions. Same goes for promiscuity.

As Paul so powerfully stated, anyone who rejects this command to maintain sexual purity does not reject man/woman — but rejects God. There are so many commands within the Bible that serve us in ways we are unable to consciously understand. When we obey God’s commands, we are not sacrificing freedom — we are aligning with his love and protection.

“And we exhort you, brothers and sisters: warn those who are idle, comfort the discouraged, help the weak, be patient with everyone. See to it that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all. Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:14—18

I think if we just read 1 Thessalonians 5:14–18 when we started each day, we would have a good direction for how to navigate the day. In a few short sentences, Paul clearly and succinctly sums up how we are to live as Christians.

I will allow Paul to end this essay with some important messages from his second letter to the Thessalonians…

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