This one allowed me to open up about everything.

Has anyone ever read the Harry Potter books?

“After all this time?”

“Always,” Snape replies.

His Patronus became the same as Lily’s because of the love he carried for her. Even after all those years… Always.

That word.

For most of my life, I’ve been obsessed with it.

What does always even mean?

Is it an everlasting feeling?

A place?

A thought?

A moment frozen in time?

And yet, here I am in my mid-twenties,

still hearing that word.

“Always.”

Maybe I was never chasing the word. Maybe I was chasing the kind of love that makes someone say, “Always”.

Daniel Caesar’s Always became another memory I’ll quietly keep tucked away in my heart.

But perhaps the real lesson is this:

What is a word that holds meaning for you?

What memories does it carry?

Joy?

Fear?

Agony?

Resentment?

That… is my “always”.

that an unsaid ‘I love you’ means

much more than what meets the eye.

It took 588 for me to see

what my eyes didn’t want to see,

that companionship can be lonely.

It took 588 and a song on repeat

for me to seeI was chasing something

that was never going to be.

It took me 101222 to realize

I have so much love to offer.

Numbers with meanings or prices,

you take the win.

Walking away with the cash out,

every piece of me.

but not with me.

Me tomó 588 a darme cuenta
que un “te amo” omitido

significa mucho más

de lo que parece a simple vista.

Me tomó 588 ver

lo que mis ojos no querían ver,
que la compañía de alguien puede sentirse

tan solitaria.

Me tomó 588 y una canción en repetición a darme cuenta que estaba persiguiendo algo que nunca iba a ser.

Me tomó 101222 a darme cuenta
que tengo tanto amor para ofrecer.

Números con significados o precios,
tú te llevas la victoria.

Alejándote con el premio,
cada pedazo de mí.

Pero sin mí.

are you in love?

An infinite illusion is just finite.

We mistake intensity for eternity.

That is what yearning is.

Can that yearning turn into love?

If so, devote yourself to it.

For one day,

all the catastrophic words that torment you—

doubt, hesitation, almost—

will disappear with a single answer:

I do.

Vela

Qué pasa cuando el fuego se apaga,

qué pasa cuando la llama no quema,

qué pasa cuando la llama está encendida

y no se accede.

Por tanto tiempo en mi vida me he sentido como una llama,

y nada de lo que yo hago lo apaga,

y me imagino que muchos de ustedes también

se sienten iguales.

A veces hay una pasión,

una emoción,

un motivo,

una razón.

Será destino o caos que arden.

Por cada momento

es un momento de luz en las tinieblas

que si uno mira por mucho tiempo

se enloquece.

Pero enloquecerse es una maravilla

porque no todos lo entiende.

Y si me toca ser diferente

de los demás, 1000 veces,

me dejaré quemar

representando

todo lo que soy.

Candle

What happens when the fire goes out,

what happens when the flame no longer burns,

what happens when the flame is lit

and no one reaches for it.

For so long in my life I have felt like a flame,

and nothing that I do can put it out,

and I imagine that many of you feel the same.

Sometimes there is a passion,

an emotion,

a motive,

a reason.

Is it destiny or chaos that burn.

For every moment

is a moment of light in the darkness

that if one looks at it for too long

one goes mad.

But going mad is marvelous

because not everyone understands it.

And if I must be different

from the others, 1000 times,

I will let myself burn

representing

everything that I am.

en mil soledades.

¿Y por qué?

¿Será un amor

que en su momento está lejos,

que al alcanzarlo

se siente como mil soledades?

¿O será que mil soledades

ofrecen un gran amor?

Lamentamos siempre

lo que puede pasar

y lo que nunca ha de llegar.

Pero este sentimiento,

de esperar algo tan doloroso, caótico,

con tanta pasión,

es el mismo pensar

de mi existir.

you take your place to checkmate —

rook to E5.

Sometimes you don’t have to speak;

the silent void is loud,

and the reality is:

at the end there is a victory,

all because my defense was weak.

Winning isn’t subjective,

but if to lose is to never win,

then I’ll gladly lose.

Losing doesn’t mean an end —

it means I get to try again.

I’ll keep trying until I win,

then you’ll see

that even in my defeat,

I’ll sweep you off your feet.

See you soon,

dear opponent.

That is all that it takes.

A gaze that pries into your soul.

Those seconds turn into hours,

mesmerized by a simple

“hello, how are you?”

Or laughing at a joke—

that three-second stare

that says,

I appreciate spending time with you.

That is home.

I would die over and over again

to feel at home again.

the wind, the trees changing colors,

the sound of birds on an early October morning.

Nostalgia hits when a certain song comes on,

the way passion comes and goes.

Slowly, everything freezes; the leaves stop falling, and the air turns cold and crisp.

Goodbye to fall, hello to winter—

a place where memories freeze and stay forever whole.

Why does time past so fast but yet so slow?

Why are there infinite seconds in a place where time is just a construct of human definition?

Why did everything just ramped up to fall back down?

And then it hits me, it wasn’t for me.

Like tiny little pieces, shattered but as whole, clear.

And in that moment, with all of my solitude, I thank you.

What I thought was broken was simply an illusion and in seeing that,

I became whole again.

My name is Caroline. But honestly, I go by Caro.

I’m 25. And secretly I love to write?

You can say I think I’m an emotional type of person, well I am. And I have horrible grammar, not an English major idc :)

- The limit is not where it is at but where it is approaching. - Elliot Lopes (let that sink in)

I just quoted my high school calc teacher, such a great quote. But yes I prefer math anyways… One of my dearest friends encouraged me to post here, so here it goes.

Sometimes things are real and sometimes they are not. That’s for you to decide when you read what I post.

Words can carry countless meanings, but their significance lies in the meaning you choose for them.

P.S I need a little acronym for myself but I’ll get to that eventually.