You already know what happens. You know the characters, the voices, the rhythm of the dialogue. You might not even be properly listening anymore. The story has become familiar enough that it no longer asks anything of you.

And yet, this kind of thing is often described as a dependency.

Familiar sensory input can give the nervous system something predictable to settle around. When your internal world is busy, silence isn’t always calming or restful. Sometimes silence leaves more room for thoughts, sensations, worries, memories or the awareness of every little sound in the room.

Image from Canva by Dwiky Alamsyah from Getty Images

You may also be interested in some of my other sleep blogs ‘All Things Waking Up in the Morning’, ‘Protecting Relationships When Sleep is Hard for PDAers’ and ‘Why Waking Up in the Morning Is Hard (It’s Hormones, Not Behaviour) and ’Webinar Recording and Write Up: What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

A familiar show doesn’t require much from you. You already know what happens, so there is nothing to work out, anticipate or pay attention to. The voices, rhythm and background noise simply become something known.

It can provide just enough input to quieten some of the internal noise without demanding attention.

For some neurodivergent people, that familiarity can help create the conditions where sleep can begin. Just as someone might find comfort in a particular blanket, sound, position or smell, a familiar show can become part of their way of settling.

Sleep itself is involuntary. We can’t command someone or ourselves to fall asleep, but we can sometimes understand and support the things that help their nervous system feel ready to let go.

So rather than asking, “How do we stop them needing this?”, perhaps we can ask, “What is this doing for them?” Because sometimes the goal isn’t to remove the thing that helps someone regulate.

Sometimes the thing that looks like a sleep dependency is actually the thing helping sleep happen.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn and BlueSky

Signposting and Resources

• Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People

• Belonging First: Building Connection and Trust in the Primary Classroom

• Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People

• Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food

• All Things Waking Up in the Morning with download, Blog

• Protecting Relationships When Sleep is Hard for PDAers, Blog

• Why Waking Up in the Morning Is Hard (It’s Hormones, Not Behaviour)’, Blog

• Webinar Recording and Write Up: What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?, Webinar

But food exploration can be much bigger than that.

Eating is one way of exploring food, but it isn’t the only way.

Looking at a food is exploring it. Smelling it is exploring it. Being near it, having it on the table, touching it, or watching someone else eat it can all be ways of experiencing and learning about food. So can helping to prepare it, serving it, talking about it, or choosing which food to have on your plate.

These experiences give us opportunities to become familiar with food without requiring us to consume it.

Image from Canva

You might also be interested in my other food blogs such as ‘Why “Just Try It” Might Not Work at the Dinner Table’, ‘Context Eating: Why We Prefer Specific Foods in Specific Situations‘, ‘Why We Need Low Pressure Food Opportunities‘ and ‘How to Get Them to Eat: Rethinking Some Traditional Parenting Strategies‘

For some people, asking them to eat a food immediately can change the experience of everything that comes before it. If looking at the food is always followed by an expectation to touch it, and touching it is always followed by an expectation to taste it, then none of those experiences are really separate from eating. They can start to feel like a series of steps towards something the person might not be ready for.

Instead, we can support each experience to be what it is.

Someone can look at a food without needing to smell it. They can smell it without needing to touch it. They can touch it without needing to taste it. They can help prepare something they don’t intend to eat, or serve it to someone else. They can have a food sitting on the table while they eat something completely different. They can watch another person eat it, talk about it, or choose to have it nearby.

And importantly, none of these things have to be treated as incomplete because the person didn’t eat the food.

There can be value in simply becoming familiar with how a food looks, smells, feels or exists within a particular context. There can be value in knowing that a food can be nearby without anything being demanded of you.

They are all part of what food exploration can mean.

Final Message

If someone wants to expand the foods they eat, eating may absolutely be something we work towards together. But we don’t have to make consumption the measure of every meaningful interaction with food.

Sometimes expanding our ideas about food exploration is about recognising that there are many ways to experience a food before, alongside, or completely separate from eating it.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Signposting and Resources

• Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People

• Belonging First: Building Connection and Trust in the Primary Classroom, book

• Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People

• Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food

• Why “Just Try It” Might Not Work at the Dinner Table, Blog

• Context Eating: Why We Prefer Specific Foods in Specific Situations, Blog

• More on Context Eating: Understanding Food Preferences Without Pushing for Change, Blog

• Why We Need Low Pressure Food Opportunities, Blog

• How to Get Them to Eat: Rethinking Some Traditional Parenting Strategies, Blog

As part of that workshop, attendees received a handout to support their reflections and support ideas. I’ve had several people ask if it could be made available afterwards, so I’m pleased to share it here.

The downloadable handout is available to paid subscribers. To access all downloadable resources and webinars, subscriptions are £5/moth or £50/year.

For many families, the morning can feel like the most challenging part of the day. We decided to create the All Things Waking Up in the Morning workshop after hearing the same experiences shared repeatedly by parents and carers. While every family and young person is different, many families described similar struggles.

Some of the most commonly reported challenges included:

• Difficulty waking or getting out of bed

• Emotional dysregulation shortly after waking

• Difficulty with getting ready for the day

• Running late, leading to stress and tension across the whole family

These experiences are often misunderstood as a lack of motivation or poor behaviour. In reality, there can be many interconnected factors influencing mornings, including sleep quality, nervous system regulation, sensory processing, executive functioning, anxiety, healthcare conditions, interoception and the demands that lie ahead.

Rather than looking for a single cause or a quick fix, our workshop explored how understanding these underlying influences can help us create mornings that feel more supportive and compassionate for everyone involved.

Image from Canva by pixelshot

You may also be interested in some of my other sleep blogs ‘Protecting Relationships When Sleep is Hard for PDAers’ and ‘Why Waking Up in the Morning Is Hard (It’s Hormones, Not Behaviour) and ’Webinar Recording and Write Up: What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

Read more

I’m delighted to be sharing my book, Flush Forward! A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People, publishing on 21 September 2026 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Toileting differences and withholding are common in young people, but parents and carers of neurodivergent or disabled children often find that the standard advice doesn’t apply. If you feel out of your depth and aren’t sure what to do next, you are not alone.

Flush Forward! was written to change that.

This practical, compassionate guide brings together current evidence, professional knowledge, and an understanding of the real-life experiences of families. Rather than focusing on one-size-fits-all approaches, the book recognises that every young person is different and that toileting support begins with understanding the individual.

Inside the book, you’ll explore:

• The many factors that influence toileting, including communication, sensory processing, motor differences, interoception, emotional wellbeing, and co-occurring medical conditions.

• Practical, accessible strategies that can be adapted to meet your young person’s support needs.

• How to work collaboratively with schools, healthcare professionals, and other people involved in your child’s care.

• Ways to reduce stress, build confidence, and create positive toileting experiences for the whole family.

Designed specifically for parents and carers, the book presents information in an easy-to-follow format with practical examples and actionable ideas that you can put into practice. It will also be a valuable resource for educators, therapists, healthcare professionals, and anyone supporting disabled and neurodivergent children and young people.

Flush Forward! aims to provide reassurance, practical guidance, and acknowledges all of the work that you are doing to support your young person.

You can pre-order the book here on Waterstones or Amazon

Press Reviews

Teodora Byrne, NDwise Hub Consulting

“Comprehensive yet remarkably accessible, this is the definitive toileting guide for parents of disabled and neurodivergent young people. Laura’s unique blend of knowledge and heart helps reframe the toileting journey, turning a challenging topic into a manageable, practical process. It’s the supportive, steady guidance every family needs.”

Natalie Raven Morris, Founder of The Feeding Trust charity

Flush Forward! mirrors the foundational neuro-affirming philosophy held by The Feeding Trust. By prioritising nervous system safety and child autonomy, Laura reframes toileting and bodily functions as developmental skills rather than compliance-based tasks.

Emma Dalmayne, CEO of Autistic Inclusive Meets

This book is an essential staple in any parent/carer library. Laura’s clear step-by-step guides and explanations make it a pleasure to read. Toileting is such a complex thing for a child to go through, made further complicated if there are introceptive issues at play. I highly recommend this book.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram and Facebook, LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Image from Canva by pixelshot

You may be interested in some of my other hygiene articles like ‘Play First, Hygiene Later: Getting Comfortable with Washing and ‘Inside and Out: Rethinking Hygiene, Autonomy and Expression’

Webinar Description:

Hygiene is often framed as a matter of compliance or social acceptability. But what happens when we approach it as a matter of equity? For many neurodivergent young people, expectations and approaches around hygiene can become flashpoints for shame, power struggles and losses of control. This session explores how hygiene intersects with bodily autonomy, sensory experience and identity-expression. We’ll look at compassionate strategies for families, educators and professionals to build equitable hygiene support. Hygiene supports that honour each young person’s dignity.

The webinar is available to paid subscribers. To access all downloadable resources and webinars, subscriptions are £5/moth or £50/year.

Read more

Thank you for joining me here! This newsletter is your hub for staying connected with all the latest happenings - upcoming events, conferences and brand-new resources like blogs and podcasts.

A small change to help keep this work going

I wanted to let you know about a recent change about my Substack.

Most of my writing will continue to be free, but some intermittent posts will now be available to paid subscribers (£5/month or £50/year). These will be the more in-depth resources that include downloadable tools, such as the Food & Eating Journal, the Individual & Family Health Organiser, webinars and other practical resources.

I really enjoy creating these resources, but they take a significant amount of time to research, write, design, and update. Introducing a paid subscription for these posts means I can continue creating practical supports while keeping the majority of my writing freely available to everyone.

If you have any questions, please do let me know.

Paid subscribers will therefore have access to a building library of webinars and downloads, including:

Webinars already listed:

• Webinar Recording and Write Up: What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

• Upcoming -Not Just Clean: Rethinking Hygiene as an Equity Issue

Articles already listed:

• Chew On This: The Calm, Comfort and Connection We Can Get from Chewing

• Advocacy Language for Parents: Talking to Professionals About Dyspraxia

• Eating & Feeding Information Gathering Journal For Parents, Carers & Families

• Individual & Family Health Organiser: with download

The Next By-Donation Webinar

Beyond Bites, How Context Shapes Eating

Secure your ticket here on Humantix

September 15th, 10 am - 11.30 am BST

The webinar will be recorded and all ticket holders will receive a viewing link that will be live for 30 days

In this webinar, our focus will be about something I think we often overlook for ourselves and when supporting young people with eating:

Context.

We often focus on what a young person is eating, but not always where, when, with who, or under what conditions eating feels possible.

Many parents, carers, and professionals will recognise experiences like:

-A young person eating a food in one setting but unable to eat it elsewhere
-Foods only being accepted at certain times or within certain routines
-A child happily eating with one person but not another
-Eating patterns changing completely when expectations or environments shift

These experiences can feel confusing from the outside, especially when the food itself hasn’t changed.

In this talk, I’ll be exploring how eating is shaped by far more than taste alone. We’ll look at the role of routine, predictability, sensory experiences, emotional safety, relationships, and environmental cues in shaping eating experiences for all of us.

The session will also help us in understanding how the wider context around eating can help us offer more supportive, compassionate approaches.

This talk is designed for parents, carers, educators, therapists, and professionals supporting young people around eating and mealtimes.

All tickets are a donation and donations will be going to support Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM) and Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee (MIRAC)

July Blogs

My blogs can be found on my webpage here and also on Substack.

• Monotropism After Dark: Why Your Brain May Need Time to Settle Before Sleep

• Why They Can Eat One Day and Not the Next: Understanding Fluctuating Capacity Around Food

• The “Performance Over Health” School Culture: You’re Invited, 2026 Autistic Mental Health Conference

Paid subscribers also accessed:

• Webinar Recording and Write Up: What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

Upcoming Events

I aim to keep the most up-to-date details on the events page on my website here and will add in the next month’s events to my newsletter. To learn more about an individual event, please use the events page link.

Please remember to check the sign-up restrictions or requirements for each event, as they may vary by organisation.

• Health Needs are Not Behaviour: The “Performance Over Health” School Culture, via the Autistic Mental Health Conference

  • A 3-day hybrid conference

  • August 14th - 16th

• Moving with Purpose: Understanding Dyspraxia and the Body–Mind Connection, via Thinking Big Family Hubs

  • An in-person workshop, Bradford UK

  • Tuesday September 8th

  • 10 am - 12 pm BST

• Moving with Purpose: Understanding Dyspraxia and the Body–Mind Connection, via Thinking Big Family Hubs

  • An in-person workshop, Menston UK

  • Wednesday, September 9th

  • 10 am - 12 pm BST

• Moving with Purpose: Understanding Dyspraxia and the Body–Mind Connection, via Thinking Big Family Hubs

  • An in-person workshop, Keighley UK

  • Thursday, September 10th

  • 10 am - 12 pm BST

• Say it Differently: Using Declarative Language to Connect and Support, via Little Hiccups Charity

  • An online webinar, Wednesday July 1st, 7 pm - 9 pm

  • To learn more and sign up, details on the Little Hiccups webpage

• Beyond Bites: How Context Shapes Eating for Young People

  • September 15th, 10 am - 11.30 am BST

  • An online, recorded webinar

  • Tickets via Humantix

• Speaking Up at School: Communication with Education Staff, via Little Hiccups Charity

  • An in-person workshop, Wednesday September 16th, 10am – 12 pm

  • To learn more and sign up, details on the Little Hiccups webpage

• Speaking Up at School: Communication with Education Staff, via Little Hiccups Charity

  • An online webinar Friday, September 18th, 10am – 12 pm

  • To learn more and sign up, details on the Little Hiccups webpage

• Speaking Up at School: Communication with Education Staff, via Little Hiccups Charity

  • An online webinar Wednesday, September 23rd, 7 pm - 9 pm

  • To learn more and sign up, details on the Little Hiccups webpage

• Energy Accounting: Why PDAers Often Run on Empty, via PDA North America’s Health & Wellness Conference

  • A virtual conference on Friday September 25th

  • 9:30 am – 5:00 pm Central (CST)

  • ARFID and the Autistic Community, via the British Dietetic Association

    • September 30th

    • An online, half day event hosted by the British Dietetic Association

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram and Facebook, LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Beyond Bites, How Context Shapes Eating

Webinar Description:

In this webinar, our focus will be about something I think we often overlook for ourselves and when supporting young people with eating:

Context.

We often focus on what a young person is eating, but not always where, when, with who, or under what conditions eating feels possible.

Many parents, carers, and professionals will recognise experiences like:

-A young person eating a food in one setting but unable to eat it elsewhere
-Foods only being accepted at certain times or within certain routines
-A child happily eating with one person but not another
-Eating patterns changing completely when expectations or environments shift

These experiences can feel confusing from the outside, especially when the food itself hasn’t changed.

In this talk, I’ll be exploring how eating is shaped by far more than taste alone. We’ll look at the role of routine, predictability, sensory experiences, emotional safety, relationships, and environmental cues in shaping eating experiences for all of us.

The session will also help us in understanding how the wider context around eating can help us offer more supportive, compassionate approaches.

This talk is designed for parents, carers, educators, therapists, and professionals supporting young people around eating and mealtimes.

Good to Know Info:

• The webinar presentation will aim to be about 1 hour long and then there will be time for questions for those attending. Please note that the Q & A time will not be recorded to protect people’s privacy

• All tickets are a donation and donations will be going to support Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM) and Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee (MIRAC)

• This webinar uses a donation-based ticket system. At checkout, please choose the donation amount that feels right for your circumstances. Donations are non-refundable.

• The live event is on September 15th from 10 – 11.30 AM (BST/London)

• Your joining link (via Zoom) is in the email you receive upon booking and will be sent again by me a few days prior

  You can reserve your space here on Humantix

  

Who is Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM)?

Autistic Inclusive Meets is a not-for-profit organisation created by autistic people to enable families with autistic children, and autistic individuals to get out into the community and socialise in an accepting, inclusive environment with like-minded peers.

We provide support and advice to families and individuals, promote acceptance of autism through education of the general public, and protect autistic rights by campaigning against autistic mistreatment.

Who is Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee (MIRAC)?

From their webpage

MIRAC is an all-volunteer, grassroots, multiracial, and multinational immigrant rights mass-movement organization. MIRAC fights for legalization for all, an end to immigration raids and deportations, an end to all anti-immigrant laws, and full equality in all areas of life.

About Your Host:

Laura Hellfeld, Neurodivergent Nurse Consulting; RN, MSN, PHN, CNL, Sleep Consultant

Laura is a neurodivergent health educator, independent Nurse & Sleep Consultant, and author dedicated to reshaping how self-care is supported within neurodivergent and disabled communities. Their work centres on accessible approaches to food and eating, sleep, hygiene and toileting. Laura does this through direct support for individuals and families, as well as through workshops and educational events for both professionals and community members. They are also a Patron for Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM) and member of the Autistic Burnout Network (ABN).

Drawing from lived experience and public health service, Laura creates inclusive spaces, hosts community events, and co-authors books like Gabby’s Glimmers and Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People. Laura is soon publishing a parent/carer-focused series beginning with Flush Forward! and co-authoring a book for primary educators called Belonging First which will be available January 2027.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

If a young person is present in school, attending lessons and completing work, there can be an assumption that things are going well. But being physically present is not the same as being well enough to learn.

Many neurodivergent young people are attending school while exhausted, overwhelmed, physically unwell or emotionally distressed. Some are masking significant difficulties simply because they know there may be consequences for absence, reduced participation or asking for support.

We often celebrate resilience and perseverance. But sometimes what looks like resilience is actually survival.

A culture of “push through”, “keep going” and “just try your best” can unintentionally teach children that their body’s signals are less important than performance.

Over time this can contribute to chronic stress, burnout, shutdown and deep feelings of shame around having needs at all.

The question we should be asking is not simply, “Are they attending?” The question should be, “What is attendance costing them?”

I’ll be exploring this theme at the upcoming NeuroHub Mental Health Conference this August.

Click here for ticket purchasing

From NeuroHub’s Webpage

The NeuroHub Mental Health Conference is rooted in our core belief that neurodivergent voices should lead the conversation about neurodivergent lives. Shaped by our ethos, the conference centres lived experience, alongside research and education created by neurodivergent individuals themselves—not framed solely through external observation. We move beyond deficit-based, pathology-driven narratives and instead champion the neurodivergent paradigm: one that recognises difference, celebrates creativity, and honours the depth, insight, and potential of those who experience the world in uniquely powerful ways.

Who is the Conference For?

• Neurodivergent individuals – Diagnosed and Self Identified and those who are unsure are welcome

• Parents and families

• Professionals and practitioners

• Educators and support workers

• Advocates and allies

Tickets

You can check out purchase options and secure your ticket here

Prices start from £50.00

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram and Facebook, LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

“But they ate this last week.”

It’s an understandable observation. If a young person managed to eat a particular food or meal before, it’s natural to assume they should be able to eat it again today.

But that assumption relies on one important misunderstanding: capacity is not fixed.

What do we mean by capacity?

Capacity is whether a person’s nervous system, brain and body can access a particular ability in this moment.

It’s not about whether they have ever been able to do something. It’s about whether all the conditions needed for that ability are available right now.

A young person may absolutely be capable of eating a particular food or meal on Monday and be genuinely unable to access that same ability on Wednesday.

Their capacity has changed.

Image from Canva by Garrett Aitken from Getty Images

You might also be interested in my other food blogs such as ‘Why “Just Try It” Might Not Work at the Dinner Table’, ‘Context Eating: Why We Prefer Specific Foods in Specific Situations‘, ‘Why We Need Low Pressure Food Opportunities‘ and ‘How to Get Them to Eat: Rethinking Some Traditional Parenting Strategies‘

Why consistency isn’t always realistic

We often expect eating to be predictable. If someone likes a food, surely they’ll always like it. If they managed a full meal yesterday, surely they can do the same today.

But eating is an incredibly complex task.

It requires sensory processing, motor planning, interoception, emotional regulation, attention, flexibility and a nervous system that feels safe enough to engage.

When those systems are under strain, eating can become much more difficult. They may not be able to access the internal resources that make eating possible in that moment.

Capacity is influenced by cumulative load

Eating doesn’t happen in isolation.

The nervous system doesn’t separate food from everything else that’s happening in life. Capacity can fluctuate because of cumulative load, including:

• Poor sleep

• School exhaustion

• Sensory overload

• The effort of masking throughout the day

• Burnout

• Illness

• Puberty and hormonal changes

• Anxiety

• Social stress

• Transitions and unexpected changes

Each of these experiences places additional demands on the nervous system. While any one factor may seem manageable on its own, they often build up over the course of a day, a week, or even several months.

Think about a young person who has spent all day coping with the noise and unpredictability of school. They’ve worked hard to follow instructions, navigate peer interactions, tolerate uncomfortable clothing, ignore the buzzing lights in the classroom, and hold themselves together until they get home. By dinnertime, their nervous system may simply have very little capacity left for the complex task of eating.

Or consider a child recovering from a cold. They may technically be “better,” but their body is still using energy to recover. Some foods that they usually access or enjoy may suddenly feel overwhelming because the resources needed to tolerate different tastes, textures or smells are being used elsewhere.

Hormonal changes can have a similar effect. During puberty, foods may suddenly taste different, appetite can fluctuate, sensory experiences can become more intense, and emotional regulation may require far more energy than usual.

Even positive events can contribute to cumulative load. A birthday party, a school trip, visitors at home, or an exciting holiday can all place extra demands on the nervous system. The excitement doesn’t cancel out the effort involved in processing these experiences.

Looking beyond the plate

When we only focus on the meal itself, we can miss the bigger picture.

Instead of asking: “Why won’t they eat this today?”

It can be more helpful to wonder:

• What has today asked of their nervous system?

• How much energy have they already spent?

• What sensory experiences have they navigated?

• Are they recovering from illness, poor sleep or a difficult week?

• Is their body asking them to cope with something else first?

These questions shift us toward curiosity and understanding. Instead of expecting eating to look the same every day, we can begin to recognise that the nervous system is dynamic.

• Capacity changes

• Needs change

• Support may need to change too

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Signposting and Resources

• Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People

• Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People

• Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food

• Why “Just Try It” Might Not Work at the Dinner Table, Blog

• Context Eating: Why We Prefer Specific Foods in Specific Situations, Blog

• More on Context Eating: Understanding Food Preferences Without Pushing for Change, Blog

• Why We Need Low Pressure Food Opportunities, Blog

• How to Get Them to Eat: Rethinking Some Traditional Parenting Strategies, Blog

What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

It’s an important question because so much sleep advice assumes that everyone has access to a safe, predictable environment. We are often told to improve our sleep hygiene, reduce screen time, create bedtime routines, or practise relaxation techniques.

While these strategies can be helpful for some people, they can miss a crucial reality:

If your environment doesn’t feel safe, your difficulty sleeping may not be a sleep problem at all.

It may be your nervous system doing exactly what it has learned to do.

Image from Canva by Damedeeso

You may also be interested in some of my other sleep blogs ‘Protecting Relationships When Sleep is Hard for PDAers’ and ‘Why Waking Up in the Morning Is Hard (It’s Hormones, Not Behaviour)’

When Safety Comes Before Sleep

Our brains and bodies are designed to keep us safe.

If there is a threat (whether that threat is real, anticipated, or based on previous experiences) our nervous system may remain alert and ready to respond. In those circumstances, difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep, or feeling rested can be understandable responses.

When safety is uncertain, the body often prioritises vigilance over rest.

This is why telling someone to “just relax” can feel frustrating or invalidating. A nervous system responding to genuine concerns is not choosing to stay awake. It is trying to protect the person.

Rather than asking, “How do we force sleep?” a more helpful question may be:

Read more

If you’ve ever been told to “switch everything off before bed” but found that it actually makes your brain feel louder, this might be one of the reasons why.

A quick introduction to monotropism

Monotropism is a theory of Autistic attention (Murray et al., 2005). Rather than attention spreading across lots of different things at once, monotropic attention tends to gather deeply around fewer things. When something captures your attention, your nervous system often wants to stay with it, explore it, understand it, and complete it before moving on.

It’s a different way that attention is organised.

While the theory was originally developed to explain Autistic experience, many neurodivergent people have also found the framework resonates with their experiences of attention and regulation.

Like any attention style, it has strengths and challenges. Deep focus can bring creativity, expertise, joy and regulation. But being constantly pulled away from that focus can be exhausting.

What happens during the day?

Now think about what many neurodivergent adults experience across a typical day.

• Your attention is pulled in every direction.

• You’re expected to stop one task before you’ve finished processing it.

• You switch between conversations, emails, notifications, meetings and household demands.

• You monitor other people’s emotions.

• You suppress the urge to return to the thing your attention naturally wants to stay with.

• You force yourself to keep shifting because that’s what daily life requires.

From the outside, it can look like you’ve managed the day perfectly. Inside, your attention may have been fragmented hundreds of times.

Image from Canva by nilsz from Getty Images

You may also be interested in my other sleep blogs ‘Waking Up Can Be Hard: Understanding Sleep Inertia and Easing Into the Day’, ‘The Power of a Tiny Nap: Why even a few minutes can make a difference’, or ‘The Need for Co-regulation Doesn’t Stop at Night’

The attention loops that never get to finish

One way I think about this is that every interruption creates an unfinished attention loop.

• Your brain was heading somewhere

• It was making connections

• It was settling into something

• Then it had to stop

• Again

• And again

• And again

By evening, your body may be physically tired, but your attention hasn’t actually had many opportunities to settle.

Instead of moving from activity into rest, your nervous system has spent the day in a state of continual interruption (ugh).

Why your preferred interests might matter

This is where preferred interests can become important. Preferred interests are incredibly enjoyable.

And I also wonder whether they also serve another purpose.

If your nervous system has spent all day adapting to fragmented attention, perhaps your preferred interest offers something that has been missing.

• Time (uninterrupted)

• Continuity

• Completion

• The opportunity to stay with something for long enough that your attention can finally settle

• Regulate through immersion

Your nervous system and attention are finally allowed to do what it has been prevented from doing all day.

From vigilance to safety

When attention can stay where it naturally wants to be, something often changes.

• Your breathing may slow

• Your muscles may relax

• Your thoughts become less scattered

• You stop monitoring everything around you quite so intensely

• Your nervous system begins to move away from vigilance and towards safety

And this all matters because sleep isn’t something we can force ourselves to do. Sleep happens when the nervous system feels safe enough to let go.

Perhaps, for many autistic people, focused engagement isn’t keeping us awake. Perhaps it’s helping us become the kind of settled that makes sleep possible.

Therefore, preferred interests and focused engagement may help the nervous system gradually transition from vigilance toward safety. And it’s felt safety that supports us to sleep.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Signposting and Resources

• Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People, Book

• Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People, Book

• Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food, Book

• Murray, D., Lesser, M., & Lawson, W. (2005). Attention, monotropism and the diagnostic criteria for autism. Autism, 9(2), 139–156. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361305051398

• Waking Up Can Be Hard: Understanding Sleep Inertia and Easing Into the Day, Blog

• The Power of a Tiny Nap: Why even a few minutes can make a difference, Blog

• The Need for Co-regulation Doesn’t Stop at Night, Blog

Thank you for joining me here! This newsletter is your hub for staying connected with all the latest happenings - upcoming events, conferences and brand-new resources like blogs and podcasts.

Two Years of ‘Safe Spaces’!

Available on Amazon in Full Colour and Reduced Colour versions, Ebook available on AUsome Training

It’s been two years since Scott Neilson and I published ‘Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People’. We continue to be blown away by how many individuals, families and professionals have reached out to tell us how helpful it has been.

Book Description

We wanted to create this book in order to outline some of the key principles, values and approaches that can cultivate a safe space for Autistic people and better ensure that your event or group is accessible.

This guide is both for identifying and non-identifying people to help support developing their group across a range of settings and activities such as lunch clubs, interest-based groups, community events, play groups, library activities and online gatherings. It is also relevant for schools, universities, healthcare services and therapists who are looking to make a safe space for Autistics.

Our book covers topics such developing your group vision, participant goals, supporting the diversity of participant needs and accessibility topics. We also outline how to acknowledge and support participant differences in communication, learning and sensory needs. Importantly we have included multiple sections on ensuring that you have the right staff to be guiding your participants.

With over 100 pages of ideas, we hope that each of you are able to take away meaningful ways forward so that Autistic participants are truly welcomed, validated and comfortable taking part.

We also have included insight and quotes from various educators, professionals and advocates. Their contributions help describe what a safe space means to them, what it means to find community, ideas to consider for online groups and support of PDA Autistics.

What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

Webinar Recording available

The live webinar has passed but there is still a chance to access a viewing link

Webinar Description:

Sleep difficulties are often viewed as a behaviour problem or a sleep hygiene issue, but for many children, young people, and adults, sleep is deeply connected to feelings of safety. When home life is stressful, unpredictable, or emotionally overwhelming, the nervous system may remain on high alert. This makes it difficult to fall asleep, stay asleep, or feel rested.

In this webinar, we will explore the relationship between safety and sleep. Together, we’ll look beyond traditional sleep advice to better understand what sleep difficulties may be communicating and discuss practical, compassionate strategies that can support rest and wellbeing.

This session is suitable for individuals, parents, carers, educators, and professionals who want to deepen their understanding of sleep through a neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed lens.

How to get access:

If you’re interested in being able to watch either/both of these two webinars, I’m asking that a donation be made (amount of your choosing) and I’ll be sending donations onto Minnesota Immigration Rights Action Committee (MIRAC) and Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM).

To arrange this, you can an email at Laura.theNDnurse@gmail.com to make a donation. In addition, you can make a donation directly to MIRAC and then email me proof of donation.

After making a donation, please email me at Laura.theNDnurse@gmail.com to let me know. I will then send you your viewing link.

A small change to help keep this work going

I wanted to let you know about a small change that’s coming to my Substack.

Most of my writing will continue to be free, but some intermittent posts will now be available to paid subscribers (£5/month or £50/year). These will be the more in-depth resources that include downloadable tools, such as the Food & Eating Journal, the Individual & Family Health Organiser, webinars, and other practical resources.

I really enjoy creating these resources, but they take a significant amount of time to research, write, design, and update. Introducing a paid subscription for these posts means I can continue creating practical supports while keeping the majority of my writing freely available to everyone.

If you have any questions, please do let me know.

June Blogs

My blogs can be found on my webpage here and also on Substack.

• Movement Without Pressure: Supporting Dyspraxic Young People

• Second Chance! Monotropism & Sleep Webinar available by donation

• Eating & Feeding Information Gathering Journal For Parents, Carers & Families

• Individual & Family Health Organiser: with download

• Why School Often Changes Eating

• Another Chance to Watch: 2 Sleep Webinars for Donation

Upcoming Events

I aim to keep the most up-to-date details on the events page on my website here and will add in the next month’s events to my newsletter. To learn more about an individual event, please use the events page link.

Please remember to check the sign-up restrictions or requirements for each event, as they may vary by organisation.

• Say it Differently: Using Declarative Language to Connect and Support, via Little Hiccups Charity

  • An online webinar, Wednesday July 1st, 7 pm - 9 pm

  • To learn more and sign up, details on the Little Hiccups webpage

• Say it Differently: Using Declarative Language to Connect and Support, via Little Hiccups Charity

  • An online webinar, Friday July 3rd, 10am – 12 pm

  • To learn more and sign up, details on the Little Hiccups webpage

• Beyond Bites: How Context Shapes Eating for Young People, via the Autism and ADHD Show

  • An in-person conference talk, Liverpool UK

• In person Q & A, via Refresh Carers

  • An in-person event, Dixon Unity Academy, Leeds

• Say it Differently: Using Declarative Language to Connect and Support, via Little Hiccups Charity

  • An an-person workshop, Wednesday July 8th, 10am – 12 pm, Leeds UK

  • To learn more and sign up, details on the Little Hiccups webpage

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram and Facebook, LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

If you missed my recent sleep webinars, there’s still time to catch up! Recordings of both sessions are available to watch at your convenience, offering practical information and strategies to support better sleep for people of all ages. Donations are warmly welcomed, with all proceeds being shared between Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM) and Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee (MIRAC) to support their ongoing work with families and communities.

1. Monotropism After Dark: Why Autistic Attention Needs Time to Settle Before Sleep

Webinar Description:

Autistic attention often follows a monotropic pattern, focusing deeply on a small number of interests. Yet environments such as school and work frequently demand constant attention shifting, sensory processing, and social navigation. For monotropic attention systems, this can create significant cognitive strain and leave little time to process the experiences of the day.

This webinar explores the importance of evening decompression through monotropic engagement. Drawing on monotropism theory, we will discuss how time spent deeply engaged in preferred interests can support attention to settle after a day of competing demands. This kind of monotropic recovery time can reduce cognitive overload, support nervous system regulation, and help prepare the body and mind for rest. All things needed to prevent or recover from Autistic burnout.

2. What can we do about sleep difficulties when home doesn’t feel safe?

Webinar Description:

Sleep difficulties are often viewed as a behaviour problem or a sleep hygiene issue, but for many children, young people, and adults, sleep is deeply connected to feelings of safety. When home life is stressful, unpredictable, or emotionally overwhelming, the nervous system may remain on high alert. This makes it difficult to fall asleep, stay asleep, or feel rested.

In this webinar, we will explore the relationship between safety and sleep. Together, we’ll look beyond traditional sleep advice to better understand what sleep difficulties may be communicating and discuss practical, compassionate strategies that can support rest and wellbeing.

This session is suitable for individuals, parents, carers, educators, and professionals who want to deepen their understanding of sleep through a neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed lens.

How to get access:

If you’re interested in being able to watch either/both of these two webinars, I’m asking that a donation be made (amount of your choosing) and I’ll be sending donations onto Minnesota Immigration Rights Action Committee (MIRAC) and Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM).

To arrange this, you can an email at Laura.theNDnurse@gmail.com to make a donation. In addition, you can make a donation directly to MIRAC and then email me proof of donation.

After making a donation, please email me at Laura.theNDnurse@gmail.com to let me know. I will then send you your viewing link.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Others describe: a young person who comes home from school and suddenly seems ravenous, eating large amounts after appearing uninterested in food all day.

The reason behind the eating patterns sometimes lies in the environment.

School can dramatically reduce a young person’s capacity to eat.

Image from Canva by Ivan Zelenin from Alamy

You might also be interested in my other food blogs such as ‘Why “Just Try It” Might Not Work at the Dinner Table’, ‘Context Eating: Why We Prefer Specific Foods in Specific Situations‘, ‘Why We Need Low Pressure Food Opportunities‘ and ‘How to Get Them to Eat: Rethinking Some Traditional Parenting Strategies‘

For many children and young people, the dining hall is one of the most demanding environments of the entire school day. It may involve loud noise, strong smells, bright lighting, crowded spaces, unpredictable movement, and constant social observation. On top of this, there is often limited time to eat and little control over where, when, or with whom they sit.

Eating is not simply a physical act. It requires a level of regulation, safety, and capacity.

When a young person is already using significant energy to navigate learning demands, sensory input, social expectations, transitions, and masking throughout the school day, there may be very little left available for eating. Some young people spend so much energy getting through the day that food becomes one more demand their body cannot manage in that moment.

This is why a young person who cannot eat at school is not necessarily refusing food.

They may be navigating an environment that feels overwhelming, unsafe, distracting, or simply too demanding for eating to be possible.

When families and schools work together to identify those barriers, meaningful solutions often emerge. This might involve adjustments to the eating environment, greater flexibility around food, alternative eating spaces, or additional time.

The goal is to create conditions where eating feels possible.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Signposting and Resources

• Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People

• Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People

• Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food

• Why “Just Try It” Might Not Work at the Dinner Table, Blog

• Context Eating: Why We Prefer Specific Foods in Specific Situations, Blog

• More on Context Eating: Understanding Food Preferences Without Pushing for Change, Blog

• Why We Need Low Pressure Food Opportunities, Blog

• How to Get Them to Eat: Rethinking Some Traditional Parenting Strategies, Blog

Neuroaffirming support for Autistic people, families and professionals

This bundle will disappear from sale at the end of June.

Text from jade Farrington

June 18th is Autistic Pride Day, and we wanted to celebrate by bringing neuroaffirming support to as many people as possible.

In a world that doesn’t like to make space for difference, it’s more important than ever that Autistic adults and children are supported to accept and embrace their unique self. Research indicates that developing a positive Autistic identity can lead to better mental health and self-esteem.

We’re here to help with exactly that!

There is nothing wrong with being Autistic. Being Disabled doesn’t make anyone less valuable or less worthy of love and a happy life.

What’s in the bundle?

More than £100 worth of resources for just £25 - or £18 until midnight (June 18th) UK time!

Whether you’re an Autistic or otherwise Neurodivergent person; have Neurodivergent family or friends; or work with Neurodivergent people, this is for you.

You’ll receive access to a whole host of neuroaffirming materials created by proudly Autistic professionals, including eight webinars and nineteen downloadable pdfs.

They educate, affirm, and support change in a way that honours Autistic neurology.

Let’s break it down

These resources are for you to download and keep forever unless otherwise stated. You are invited to use them yourself; with family and friends; and with those you work with.

Downloadable pdfs

• An Introduction to Unmasking Autistic Identity Safely: Things to consider and how to start - Jade Farrington

Autistic masking is often presented simply as ‘acting neurotypical’, as if there’s a facade that can be removed to reveal a true self. The reality is deeper, and unmasking isn’t always safe. This guide introduces important considerations for beginning your unmasking journey.

• Unmasking Journal - Teodora Byrne

Through compassionate prompts, small and manageable steps, self-reflection and space to write down your thoughts, this journal gently guides you toward self-discovery without pressure or overwhelm.

• Side Questing to Your Destination: Enjoying a life in line with your values - Jade Farrington

When you’re Neurodivergent, normative ideas about time can stop you achieving your goals and leading the life you’d love. This ebook introduces you to a values-driven life which allows you to side quest to your destination.

• A Neurodivergent Introduction to Diversifying Your Self-Care: Doing what works - not what society tells you - Jade Farrington

A mini workbook with reflective prompts to broaden your idea of self-care and implement what works for you.

• The Pace You Need - Teodora Byrne

The aim of this e-book is to help you notice, understand, respect and communicate the pace you need without guilt.

• Understanding and Navigating Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) - Teodora Byrne

Whether you’re Neurodivergent yourself, supporting someone who is, or just wanting to deepen your understanding then this guide is for you.

• Advocacy Language for Parents: For Parents and Carers Talking to Professionals About Dyspraxia - Laura Hellfeld

A practical guide to helping families communicate concerns, needs, and support requests confidently when discussing dyspraxia with professionals.

• Talking with Your Young Person About Dyspraxia: Gentle Conversations and Respectful Support - Laura Hellfeld

Supportive guidance for discussing dyspraxia with your young person in ways that build understanding, self-esteem, and self-advocacy.

• All Things Waking Up and the Morning: A compassionate workshop handout for parents and carers - Laura Hellfeld

A neurodiversity-affirming resource exploring common morning challenges and practical ways to create calmer, more connected starts to the day.

• How Do I Help My Young Person Stop Withholding Wee? A Guide for Families and Professionals - Laura Hellfeld

Learn why children and young people may withhold urine and discover compassionate, evidence-informed strategies to support toileting confidence.

• Neurodivergent Healthcare Passport: What staff need to know before assessing, examining or treating me - Jade Farrington

A broad-ranging self-advocacy passport to support Neurodivergent people to communicate their sensory, communication and other needs to medical services.

• Individual & Family Health Organiser: For Individuals, Carers & Families - Laura Hellfeld

A comprehensive record-keeping tool to help organise medical information, medications, and important health-related details in one place.

• Is Your Young Person Starting a New Medication? A list of questions to ask your care provider - Laura Hellfeld

A helpful checklist of questions to support informed discussions about new medications, potential benefits, side effects, and ongoing monitoring.

• Received a New Medical Diagnosis? A Beginning List of Questions to Ask Your Care Provider - Laura Hellfeld

A practical guide to help families understand a new diagnosis and prepare meaningful questions for healthcare professionals.

• Practical Toolkit for Families and Professionals Rethinking Praise: Practical Strategies for Toileting Support - Laura Hellfeld

Explore alternatives to traditional praise-based approaches and learn supportive strategies that foster autonomy, trust, and confidence in toileting.

• When the Doctor Says “Let’s Wait and See...”: How to Keep the Conversation Going, For Parents and Carers - Laura Hellfeld

Guidance for families who feel concerns remain unresolved, with practical tips for gathering information, monitoring progress, and advocating effectively.

• Supporting Young People with Taking Medication: For Parents, Carers and Families - Laura Hellfeld

Practical strategies to help make medication routines more accessible, predictable, and supportive for young people and their families.

• Supporting Your Young Person with Toothbrushing & Mouth Care: For Parents, Carers and Families - Laura Hellfeld

A compassionate guide to understanding common barriers to oral care and finding realistic, sensory-aware approaches that work for your family.

• Supporting PDA Learners in School - Laura Hellfeld

A resource for understanding and supporting PDA learners through collaborative, low-demand approaches that promote safety, trust, and engagement.

Webinars

• Not Just Clean: Rethinking Hygiene as an Equity Issue - Laura Hellfeld

Explore how hygiene expectations can create barriers for Disabled and Neurodivergent people, and learn how to approach personal care through the lens of dignity, access, and inclusion.

• Why Hygiene Is Not Just About Cleanliness: Understanding Neurodivergent Needs - Laura Hellfeld & Teodora Byrne

We discuss the sensory, motor, executive functioning, and emotional factors that can affect hygiene routines along with practical strategies to provide respectful support.

• What Does ‘Neuro-Affirming’ Really Mean? - Jess Garner (Unlimited access until July 31st)

An overview of the foundations we can use to judge how neuro-affirming professionals really are.

• Reasonable Adjustments at Mainstream Secondary School - Jess Garner (Unlimited access until July 31st)

A detailed look at how we can work with schools to implement reasonable adjustments that can make a difference. Many of the concepts are transferable to Primary and Specialist settings.

• Nurturing Self-Esteem in Autistic Young People - Jess Garner (Unlimited access until July 31st)

Practical steps we can take to help nurture Autistic young people’s self-esteem.

• Monotropism: Theory & Lived-Experience - Jess Garner (Unlimited access until July 31st)

An introduction to the theory of Monotropism and how this might show-up in our everyday lives.

• Connection, Community & Growth for Autistic Young People - Jess Garner (Unlimited access until July 31st)

Looking at some of the research and lived-experience evidence base to understand the ‘why’ and ‘how’.

• Dysregulation Reframed as Misalignment - Teodora Byrne (Unlimited access until July 31st)

Misalignment is human, it’s relatable. It happens when the world is too loud, the demands are too high or the support is too low. It’s not a you problem - it’s a connection problem. Misalignment shows us that there is a gap between the current environment and the nervous system’s capacity.

Who are we?

Laura Hellfeld (she/they) is a nurse, educator, author, and advocate for neuroaffirming approaches to self-care and daily living.

This pack includes webinars on hygiene and practical resources to support self-care at home, in school, and in healthcare settings. These materials are for neurodivergent people, families, educators, and professionals. They aim to support respectful environments that honour individual needs, autonomy, and strengths. You can find more from Laura at Neurodivergent Nurse Consulting.

Jess Garner (she/her) is a late realised Autistic ADHD’er, Mum to Neurodivergent kids, a former teacher, and holds a MA in Autism.

Jess founded GROVE from a desire to create an online space where Autistic young people can belong as their authentic selves, have access to up-to-date information about Autistic experience and connect with Autistic community. You can find more from Jess at GROVE.

Teodora Byrne (she/her) is the owner and founder of NDwise Hub Consulting.

She is a late diagnosed AuDHD woman, consultant, speaker, writer, sensory integration facilitator and parent to three Neurodivergent children. Her work focuses on dismantling harmful narratives around neurodivergence and supporting meaningful cultural and systemic change. She cares deeply about creating spaces where people feel seen, respected and valued as they are. You can find more from Teodora at NDwise Hub.

Jade Farrington (she/her) is a Disabled and Neurodivergent Counsellor, Therapist, Supervisor and Writer.

She supports Autistic and ADHD adults to process their past; understand their Neurodivergent identity; and create a life that works for them. Jade is passionate about the neurodiversity paradigm and working towards a world free from the systemic oppression of neuronormativity. You can find more from Jade here.

Endorsements

“I haven’t ever read so much helpful and practical advice and support from one place and from different people! This is amazing and I wholeheartedly recommend it. Every resource has been thoughtfully created to support Autistic individuals in a practical, empowering, and neuroaffirming way! From the healthcare passport to the communication and feelings journals, each tool helps promote understanding, self-expression, and self-advocacy. It’s a beautifully designed bundle that genuinely makes a difference for Autistic people and the families supporting them. Amazing!”

- Michaela Silsby, Autistic Parent and Advocate @SpillingTheTeaOnAutismAndADHD

“This bundle will keep you informed in an affirming way for hours! There is so much brilliant content here to explore from awesome voices in the field. If you are a parent, professional or Autistic person there will be validation, support and information that you can use to enhance well-being. I am really looking forward to having resources to learn more about hygiene, health care and reasonable adjustments in mainstream. These kinds of topics often come up with children I support and their families.”

- Ruth Jones, Speech and Language Therapist

“This bundle offers Autistic people, families and professionals a great range of resources. Among this includes example scripts for parents advocating to professionals, practical approaches for numerous experiences (both neurodivergences and medical conditions), understanding masking, developing self-care and nurturing self-esteem. There are numerous invaluable ideas and strategies from a group of highly skilled Autistic professionals in this bundle. The resources and webinars are also very accessible and well-structured. Highly recommend!”

- Scott Neilson, Autistic Trainer, Mentor, Consultant and Author

“As a BACP Counsellor, I find the resources and webinars created by Laura Hellfeld, Jess Garner, Teodora Byrne and Jade Farrington to be exceptionally valuable and informative. They offer understanding and support with practical strategies, and I highly recommend their resources to counsellors and other professionals seeking to work effectively alongside Autistic individuals. These resources have also encouraged me to reflect on my own practice so clients can feel respected, understood and empowered.”

- Val McFadden MBACP, Counsellor / Psychotherapist, The Therapeutic Camper

“I was absolutely thrilled to get a little look at the bundle being offered out by Jade Farrington, NDwise Hub, and Laura Hellfeld and Jess Garner and wow, it’s a fantastic package! It’s absolutely brimming with neuroaffirming info that will support people across the lifespan. The sheer volume of information is super impressive, what a brilliant deal!”

- Marion McLaughlin, Trainer and Consultant, Aurora Autistic Consulting

“These resources are an amazing offer. When trying to navigate what to learn, it can be overwhelming. These professionals are sharing so much, in accessible formats, to help our understanding about all things autism. All four peers offer lived experience and ND-affirming knowledge that can truly make a difference.”

Read more

Read more

The Autistic Burnout Conference of 2026 may have ended but there’s still time to watch my webinar:

Webinar Description:

Autistic attention often follows a monotropic pattern, focusing deeply on a small number of interests. Yet environments such as school and work frequently demand constant attention shifting, sensory processing, and social navigation. For monotropic attention systems, this can create significant cognitive strain and leave little time to process the experiences of the day.

This webinar explores the importance of evening decompression through monotropic engagement. Drawing on monotropism theory, we will discuss how time spent deeply engaged in preferred interests can support attention to settle after a day of competing demands. This kind of monotropic recovery time can reduce cognitive overload, support nervous system regulation, and help prepare the body and mind for rest. All things needed to prevent or recover from Autistic burnout.

How to get post-conference access:

If you’re interested in being able to watch my individual webinar from the conference, I’m asking that a donation be made (amount of your choosing) and I’ll be sending donations onto Minnesota Immigration Rights Action Committee (MIRAC) and Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM).

To arrange this, you can an email at Laura.theNDnurse@gmail.com or alternatively make a donation

• Paypal: @jhellfeld

• Venmo: @joshua-hellfeld

After making a donation, please email me at Laura.theNDnurse@gmail.com to let me know and also the reference name that you used. I will then send you your viewing link.

Who is MIRAC?

From their webpage

MIRAC is an all-volunteer, grassroots, multiracial, and multinational immigrant rights mass-movement organization. MIRAC fights for legalization for all, an end to immigration raids and deportations, an end to all anti-immigrant laws, and full equality in all areas of life.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

During the Autistic Burnout Network conference, I was asked

Sleep difficulties are often viewed as a behaviour problem or a sleep hygiene issue, but for many children, young people, and adults, sleep is deeply connected to feelings of safety. When home life is stressful, unpredictable, or emotionally overwhelming, the nervous system may remain on high alert. This makes it difficult to fall asleep, stay asleep, or feel rested.

In this webinar, we will explore the relationship between safety and sleep. Together, we’ll look beyond traditional sleep advice to discuss practical, compassionate strategies that can support rest and wellbeing.

This session is suitable for individuals, parents, carers, educators, and professionals who want to deepen their understanding of sleep through a neurodiversity-affirming and trauma-informed lens.

Helpful Info:

• Reserve your space here on Humantix

• The webinar will be recorded and all ticket holders will receive a link to view the webinar

• The webinar presentation will aim to be about 1 hour long and then there will be time for questions for those attending. Please note that the Q & A time will not be recorded to protect people’s privacy

• All tickets are a donation and donations will be going to support Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM)

• This webinar uses a donation-based ticket system. At checkout, please choose the donation amount that feels right for your circumstances.

• The live event is on Wednesday June 24th, 6 pm - 8.30 pm BST/London

Who is Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM)?

Autistic Inclusive Meets is a not-for-profit organisation created by autistic people to enable families with autistic children, and autistic individuals to get out into the community and socialise in an accepting, inclusive environment with like-minded peers.

We provide support and advice to families and individuals, promote acceptance of autism through education of the general public, and protect autistic rights by campaigning against autistic mistreatment.

About Your Host:

Laura Hellfeld, Neurodivergent Nurse Consulting; RN, MSN, PHN, CNL, Sleep Consultant

Laura is a neurodivergent health educator, independent Nurse & Sleep Consultant, and author dedicated to reshaping how self-care is supported within neurodivergent and disabled communities. Their work centres on accessible approaches to food and eating, sleep, hygiene and toileting. Laura does this through direct support for individuals and families, as well as through workshops and educational events for both professionals and community members. They are also a Patron for Autistic Inclusive Meets (AIM) and member of the Autistic Burnout Network (ABN).

Drawing from lived experience and public health service, Laura creates inclusive spaces, hosts community events, and co-authors books like Gabby’s Glimmers and Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People. Laura is soon publishing a parent/carer-focused series beginning with Flush Forward! and co-authoring a book for primary educators called Belonging First which will be available January 2027.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

Connect with me on social media

Instagram, Facebook LinkedIn and BlueSky

Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Signposting and Resources

• Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People

• Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People

• Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food

“How do we add more movement opportunities?”

It’s a very real concern. When people learn that dyspraxia affects motor planning and coordination, the natural response is to feel that their young person needs more movement practice. But the moment the word practice appears, many families also feel stuck.

For a lot of people, movement framed as something they ‘must practise’ can immediately feel overwhelming. What starts as well-intentioned support can quickly become another demand or yet another thing on the ‘to do’ list.

The good news is that motor development can happen when movement is woven into everyday life, interests, and connection with others.

Here are some ways that we reframed this during our workshop discussions.

Image from Canva

You may also be interested in my other blogs like “Talking with Your Young Person About Dyspraxia: Gentle Conversations and Respectful Support” and “Advocacy Language for Parents: Talking to Professionals About Dyspraxia”

Rethinking Movement

Motor skills can also grow through meaningful movement. For many young people, movement may happen through play, curiosity, and connection rather than through drills.

When movement becomes something your young person wants to do, rather than something they feel pushed to practise, it often becomes much easier for them to engage.

This shift can help reduce a huge amount of pressure that you and your young person might be feeling.

Movement Can Look Many Different Ways

Movement can happen in lots of everyday ways.

Movement Through Interests

One way to support movement is by following what your young person already enjoys.

This might look like:

• acting out scenes from a favourite show

• building obstacle courses for their toys or characters

• dancing or moving to music they love

Everyday Activities That Build Motor Skills

Many everyday activities support coordination and motor planning without feeling like ‘motor work’.

For example:

• building with Lego or construction toys

• helping mix ingredients when cooking

• digging in soil while gardening

These kinds of activities are part of everyday life and naturally support:

• coordination

• strength

• sequencing

• body awareness

Moving Together

Sometimes movement works best when it’s shared. When you move together, your young person also benefits from connection and co-regulation.

This might include:

• going for a walk while chatting

• casually throwing a ball back and forth

• playing with a pet together

Nervous System Safety Comes First

If your young person regularly finds engaging in movement activities too hard, it can be tempting to try to encourage them more strongly or find ways to get them to comply.

But for many dyspraxic young people, nervous system safety comes before skill development.

If movement feels like a demand, their nervous system may respond by shutting down.

In those moments, the priority isn’t getting them to complete an activity. It’s helping their nervous system feel safe enough to explore movement again. Often, when the pressure reduces, movement begins to return in more natural ways.

A Gentle Reframe

One question that can sometimes help us think about movement differently is this:

Instead of asking
“How do I get my young person to practise this skill?”

you might try asking

“Where is movement already happening in my young person’s life, and how can we build from there?”

You might notice movement happening when they play, when they’re excited, when they’re exploring something they love, or when they’re spending time with you.

Those moments are often the best place to start.

Thank you for being here,

Laura Hellfeld

RN, MSN, PHN, CNL

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Disclaimer: The information shared in this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Please consult a licensed healthcare provider for personalised support and care tailored to your specific needs.

Signposting and Resources

• Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People

• Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People

• Gabby’s Glimmers: An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food

• Talking with Your Young Person About Dyspraxia: Gentle Conversations and Respectful Support, Blog

• Advocacy Language for Parents: Talking to Professionals About Dyspraxia, Blog