As a human who’s mission is to walk my most aligned path, I battled with my own voices of fear and conditioning daily, for SOOOOOO long - the more I’ve sat with these parts of me, I’ve been able to integrate them, and know how to get them out of the driver’s seat on my decisions, PARTICULARLY when my intuition is showing up to take the wheel. And this is exactly why I guide others through identifying these aspects of Self — because I wish for everyone to follow their inner voice of intuition, to live their highest potential and to be conscious of their patterns and break free of anything that truly doesn’t serve them. And without that discernment of these voices of fear and conditioning (there’s many others but these are the heavy hitters) well we’d stay in the same loop forever. We don’t want that… right?

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FEAR

I’ve done years of inner work through various modes of self guided therapies, actual therapies (EMDR, IFS, CBT, Compassion), A Course in Miracles, meditations, journal work, read so many self help books around consciousness and psychology and much more — but in all of it FEAR is the root I am always working around, trying to release, trying to solve, trying to understand, trying to discern - bc it shows up in SO many ways. We have fears around rejection, change, failing, being judged, being misunderstood, not finding love, asking for more, being too much, to take leaps of faith, being abandoned, not accepted for who we are — the list goes onnnnnn.

What if we just said fuck our fears? Stop negotiating with them and just listen to what our intuitive hits say?

Our fears are here to keep us safe. “Safe” based on our nervous system’s data of our past experiences. Which low key means it’s stale data but for our brains it translates it to “nope that’s relevant AF let’s play it safe”.

Carving out the bit of time it takes to understand (baseline) how your inner thoughts work - why fears come up from past experiences, how your own looping thought patterns work to build your current reality, being AWARE that you can CHOOSE those thoughts, you don’t have to be victim to the loop that’s living up there - this bit of inner work just around fears will shift your entire reality.

Do you know how much can change from ONE subtle shift in your daily life? Change one single thought. Step through one small fear. Bring in one new ritual or habit. I dare you :) Because this is how you come out of autopilot, this is how you drop into your life - by adjusting your daily predictable cycle of routines and thoughts and letting the small adjustment have the butterfly effect on your life.

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back to fears…

I just finished reading The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer - and he explains our fears are like cement walls - when we run toward them we want to back away, but the reason why they’re even cement walls to begin with is because we put them there, WE’VE BUILT THEM throughout our life, through our experiences — so if we’ve constructed these cement walls of fears, don’t we have the power to bulldoze through them? tear them down and see what’s on the other side? Because the quote I’ve been hearing a lot lately is "The opposite is the medicine." Can we face fear with courage and faith that if our intuition is asking for it then it’s going to work out to our highest good? because on the other side of that wall can very much be: Enlightenment, Expansion, Self Actualization, and probably much more than our brain’s could even predict.

So how do we do it? How do we REMOVE fear from our decision making?

Well we are human so it takes some work, it takes reps of:

A. Identifying the fear related thought - that takes getting honest with yourself and knowing that you will now be aware of how much fear is present in your every day thoughts. It’s actually pretty wild. But key here is to IDENTIFY the fear, label it.

B. Give it the space to speak, hear it out but don’t let it make the final decision. Choose your intuitive hit instead.

C. Repeat.

Seems simple right? It won’t be at first, but just like anything you practice you will master it. Eventually it will be easier. It takes stepping through fear, proving to yourself that not only can you break that cement wall but that what’s on the other side of it is for your highest good and was the better choice. Learning to trust your intuition takes reps, think about how many times you didn’t do something based on fear — those were reps building your fear’s voice to be the conductor of the crew.

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Now it’s time to give your intuition the wheel.

And our intuition is funny bc she’s not always the comfortable option, she’s not going to debate loudly back and forth with your fear. She’s just gonna post up and say what she has to say one time in a monotone, subtle sentence and paste that inner knowing inside of you and play it cool. It’s our brains using logic and data that sends us on the negotiation loop of decision making madness.

Personally, this eclipse season has me DONE with negotiating.

The many times I’ve taken leaps of faith based on my inner voice, or the way I’ve began to shape my days and habits the last 2 years around my inner voice, and now I’m allowing it to guide me through friendship and family dynamics - SHE’S NEVER BEEN WRONG. She’s always ALWAYS shaping my life for my highest good - as long as I don’t negotiate and opt out based on fear and conditioning, bc let me tell you it is very easy to tell yourself what you “should” be doing vs. what your intuition has stated.

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I’m not perfect at this path, I am still figuring it out - but I’m committed. I feel more like myself than I ever have before this. Initially it was easy to see the big ticket items of Fear like around jumping off the corporate ladder, moving to a new country, starting my own business… those are obvious. But when I was able to identify my fears in the daily small loops of thought THAT is when it shifted for me, that’s when a piece of me unlocked and I’ve been unfolding and shapeshifting ever since.

I didn’t even realize how much I was making myself small in relationships around me in fear to not lose them or upset them or to just not feel like I belong. I was people pleasing daily, telling myself what to do in my routines based on what I should be doing vs what I FELT like doing - many parts of my life were being lived on autopilot to just survive and feel like I belong. BUT when I was in autopilot I was in denial I could’ve sworn I was doing what I wanted, but I was so disconnected from myself I had no clue. That’s the scary part.

IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP

What if you were to leave your fears at the door completely small and big?

What decisions would you make differently?

What career would you chase?

What relationship would you be calling in?

Where would you be living?

How would you spend your time differently?

Leaving fear at the door unlocks our potential to live by our divine code of intuition - so why are we blocking that opportunity for our life? Especially if we only live once?

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I love using my own triggers as a mirror - a moment of reflection, to go inward and ask why is it making me feel that way. Major key to consciously living + self awareness.

If you’ve been noticing a big theme around visibility and being seen - whether it’s between your own inner circles or people talking about it online - there’s a few energies at play here that can explain why it’s all happening.

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Now this was a deep wake up call because I had been in a lull of self doubt about my brand and what I’m building (I know you creators and entrepreneurs can relate) and by tuning out the noise I was able to hear the message so clearly.

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According to Human Design and Jenna Zoe - the "New Paradigm" refers to a major shift in human consciousness and society that is said to culminate around 2027. Where humanity is moving away from systems based on hierarchy, external authority, institutions, celebrity culture, and collective conditioning, and toward greater individuality, self-trust, intuition, and personal sovereignty.

I’ve built my purpose around intentional travel, conscious living and wellness. Where I want to help people wake up from the auto pilot lifestyle and take their power back - to live consciously, love on their selves through wellness and travel with intention that can shape shift who they are and the reality that surrounds them. I’ve spent the last two years building and thinking - “why is this important?” “who can I help?” “how can I be of service to humanity?” “what does it mean to live and travel intentionally - and will anyone care?”

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When you are born with a gift that feels ahead of your own time you begin to doubt yourself. You begin to believe the non-believers around you who don’t see life the way you do. But now more then ever is the time to break the shackles of old ways of thinking (even our own), stand two feet grounded in what is being called of you, and go full steam ahead because the new world needs you. People need you.

I take so much pride in the way I see life, the way I live life and the way I can teach how to live. Not from a place of “I’m better than you” but from a place of “Get here faster than I did, let me show you, I want to see you love yourself and your life as soon as possible!”. And this is EXACTLY what the New Paradigm is calling on people to do, to share their individual expertise, their individual story and that individual light that God planted within all of us.

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As 2027 approaches and going forward, we will all be met with tests to help us keep getting to the core of who we are — our essence. To show up and live like we are operating from soul consciousness. Our egos will fight tooth and nail on this, which will make the triggers feel harder and the tests feel nearly impossible. But if we silent out the ego, get curious, and ask ourselves to decision make from a soul level — we can start seeing the new fluid movement in the way we are meant to live. Who we are meant be. How we show up in our communities. And much much more.

If you’re feeling a pull to start a business to shine your inner light and expertise, or if you’re looking for people who can help you get in touch with your own inner light and step into your bigness - it’s not by accident, it’s not a fleeing thought to ignore — it’s a ping from the universe that you are being asked to shift, to move.

If you’re looking for more intentional ways of living, taking care of yourself or are in a season of life where you are called to travel to get back in touch with your higher self - reach out to me. Whether it’s here, on instagram or check out my website and email me.

I am here to connect with the souls who feel called to this very topic and I am claiming it that this timeline is when we are meant to be connected.

love you all so much!

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Intentionality lives in the choices we make. Through the never ending decisions life brings our way. Small ones, big ones - ones that pass us by that we respond to on auto pilot.

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when I look back at the last 5 years of my life I can’t believe how much has changed. Good and bad. But even the bad brought me to so much good. Every shift and pivot, as subtle as they can be, is the universe carefully directing us on our soul’s mission here. We are meant to change, we are meant to evolve — without change we wouldn’t be able to fulfill our destiny.

Remembering that you are in the driver’s seat through every shift is a power you can reclaim. Navigating life when it’s changing, whether it’s at a fast tempo or a slower one, takes embracing the feelings of what is slipping away and simultaneously surrendering control about what’s coming toward you.

I realized alot of my anxiety in life after my dad passed came from wanting to control how I felt, what the new chapter would look like, making sure I was doing everything that felt like I could control the outcome. And then my nodal return hit, and it forced me to come face to face with my approach toward change. I had to give up logic and data, put my big girl pants on and realize there’s only so much I can do to get the outcomes that I want. Even in the face of change, and welcoming the change - I still wanted to control it some how.

Embracing change is allowing the reality to drop in that the change is here for our better good. It’s here to bring on new lessons, new relationships, new dynamics so we can evolve in the way our spirit is looking to embody the experience in this human journey. And there’s a big shift that happens in that realization, you can be in the driver’s seat with full awareness that regardless of what you have planned for yourself, you need to trust that you won’t have all the answers. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have any control. You can only know as much as you know in this moment, and the more you let go of the outcome the more you can move with fluidity with divine trust. You can have control over your reactions, your reflections and how you simply move with the change, rather than force it to look and feel a certain way.

So if you’re in the midst of a transition, or some big shift that you weren’t expecting — sit with yourself and ask: what is life trying to teach me? How can I trust the universe here to guide me in the right direction? What am I fearing? And can you ask yourself — is my fear coming from a place or control? Can you bring yourself to feel into the transition of how to make yourself more fluid in this moment? To loosen the reigns and invite this new chapter in differently.

You have a zone of divine genius within you, it’s your intuition. And intuitively we know we are meant to change, but the ego doesn’t love the feeling of change. Can you meet both parts your ego and intuition and find a balance of pulling yourself out of spinning out and coming back to self with security and safety that all is unfolding for your greater good?

None of us have the view of the bigger plan. But when we look back, hindsight is always 20/20, we can reflect back to ourselves that it all happened for a reason. So why not place that trust in the process in this very moment.

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I’ve been reading A Course In Miracles for about a year and a half now. And if you’re not familiar with it, it is a lengthy book about the awakening of God and the Holy Spirit. I was reading it for a long time via Audible, and I would listen to about 10 to 15 minutes of it and stop so I could integrate what the teachings really were saying, because it is so deep.

But my favorite part about this book, even though I’m not done with it yet, is that it teaches me the big separation between ego consciousness and spirit consciousness. It explains ever so clearly that our ego is attached to our human body and is only tied to this human experience. Where the holy spirit within us is tied to our eternal life, something that we persistently forget about as we’re moving through this human experience.

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When I left my corporate accounting career behind I kept asking the universe “what am I here to do?” “what am I good at?” “if i’m not an accountant then who am i?” It was a war to answer these questions, and they still unfold in different ways today as I keep peeling back the layers of myself. But today, I am going to help you out by skipping all of the crazy years of figuring it out and share with you the ways to connect with your natural gifts, to believe that they are your true and special skill for this life time and how to embrace them. I’ll say if you are building a self brand you’ve probably been through this before, but this is not only for people figuring out their career space.

This is for anyone who needs to rekindle their light, connect with their magic, fall in love with yourself again through hobbies and habits, or needs a refresh of soul confidence that you are here with so much divine intentionality.

5 Ways I’ve Unlocked My Natural Gifts

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The times I’ve traveled to get away from my problems or emotional struggles, the grey cloud of my problems at home came with me. It clouded my energy while I was away, so much so that when I look back at the memories of the trip, as great as they may have been, there’s this subtle haze over the memories. I can’t remember the details sharply like I do on the trips that I go on when everything is completely fine at home.

We expect to get on that plane and for our issues to just be left behind, but that’s not usually the case. Our nervous systems are still in overdrive and very much dysregulated. Which is natural. Bringing some awareness to that can help turn your trip from a hazy cloud to a trip where you gain clarity, perspective - all the while having fun and doing what your body is craving to do. Because yes, our minds are craving for our physical bodies to be somewhere else - but it’s more important to put a little emphasis and intention around our emotions so we can manage that looming gray cloud.

Here are two ways to bring intentionality to your travel the next time you need a getaway during a hard time or crisis.

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1. Set an intention before you go. Write down or say out loud what exactly it is that you are looking to gain from this trip. Literally ask yourself “What do I want out of this trip?”. And if your answer is “just to get away from all of this” we need to work on that — keep asking yourself “why?” to drill down to the exact reason. There is no wrong answer to this question, this is a deeply personal question that you must answer before you go. Are you looking for clarity and new perspective? to bring peace to your heart? to feel alive again? to drown out the noise and find your inner voice? connect with your inner child?

   There are SO many possible reasons. Your special reason, needs to be said out loud, it needs to be carved out. Why? Because whenever we set an intention we are speaking directly to this beautiful and energetic universe, to claim what we need. We are setting in motion exactly what it is that our physical body and energetic body is in need of. And when we are clear on what it is that we need, we are opening the doors for the world to bring us the experiences that will lead us to that travel purpose (to any purpose). We are also activating our brains and nervous systems to not block the opportunities and experiences that come to us that are meant to help us gain what we are in need of.

   Our RAS (Reticular Activating System) is the system in our brain that filters the information and environments around us and only lets through what is relevant to us. When we set an intention, we are making it relevant to our RAS. So our brain can filter a focus on that intention. Which helps us to not miss or dismiss anything that is truly meant for our purpose while we travel.

2. Do NOT fill your entire itinerary back to back. A full itinerary, a busy time while traveling leaves zero room for integration. You may feel like you’re having a great time while in motion, non-stop, not thinking about your problems - but all you’re doing is pressing pause on the problems. A jam packed trip will leave you drained, maybe more drained than you arrived particularly when you are going through something rough at home.

   Instead: intentionally set time blocks in your trip to have nothing planned. I absolutely love doing this because it leaves room for the unexpected, it gives time and space to take in everything you’ve already experienced and let those special experiences integrate so they really etch into your spirit and help you through your problems. Those blocks of time can lead to:

   1. a longer meal, with a side of a deep conversation or

   2. aimlessly roaming a neighborhood while having a reflective thought,

   3. or a longer session of laying on the beach to just listen to the natural sounds around you to soothe your nervous system

   That is where some of the deepest magic can happen on your trip.

Travel can be a cure to manyyyy problems. It is such a unique portal of growth. And if we step into it from the right angle we can actualize the growth and perspective we crave. This is exactly where my love for travel stems from. Traveling the world is some what desensitized because of how easy and available it is to do. But we must remember the miracle it actually is that we get to do something so incredible and not just for our physical bodies and senses but for our souls, emotions and mental health.

Travel with purpose or don’t travel at all.

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Honestly, it feels funky af — but I’m with it. I am so ready for the new season of moi. But I do give myself the space to be present in this middle transition period too, these in between stages hold way more value than we give credit for. I feel like I’ve done years of therapy, shadow work, inner child workshops, EMDR, TBM work — all to train my mind and prep my emotions for this big leap. Allowing me to actually let go a bit easier, embrace discomfort and make room for my embodied truth with much more soul and alignment.

Over the last 2 years, I’ve been given a task from the universe: trust your intuition. move with your intuition. decide with your intuition. build a strong relationship with your intuition. Which sounds “easy”, but when you are hyper aware of your nervous system and patterns around tests and triggers it can be quite the obstacle. But just like any other muscle, it takes time and reps to get it stronger and stronger. One decision at a time, choosing to trust that intuitive hit (after you’ve deciphered that it actually is intuition) and getting myself to the next step then having to do it all over again with the next decision. Really parsing out: ego vs. intuition; nervous system responses vs. intuition; karmic generational responses vs. intuition.

Ugh it’s a lot but I am high key obsessed with it because it really has brought me back to me. Like soul level me.

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How many times have you looked back at a picture and immediately thought “I can’t believe I thought I was fat then” or “I can’t believe I thought this project was crap, it’s actually amazing” or “why was I dimming my light to people please all the people around me?”.

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It’s like future you is looking back with soul consciousness and present you only sees yourself with ego consciousness. We look back on ourselves like we look at our best friends - hyping them up like they’re the best thing ever (because they are). Can we close that timeline gap and be our own biggest cheerleaders today for our present selves?

Can we start making decisions, showing up, and taking pictures with that soul consciousness right now? Asking ourselves “what would my future self want me to do with this decision? what would my future self think of this relationship? what would my future self think of this bikini pic?” Can we allow these questions to help us seize the moment? love ourselves and our bodies more? open us up to embodying our biggest purpose quicker?

… I’d like to think so.

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I posted a self-care video on YT in 2024, which at the time I thought I sounded and looked horrendous and that my editing was crap and I remember continuously telling myself “who’s gonna watch this?!” Well, I just randomly watched that video tonight because I was looking to cringe and to my surprise I didn’t cringe at all… I thought, wait my skin looks great, edits aren’t the best, but the topics are core Laura, and I look happy AND it’s my most viewed and liked long video on YT. And to think I stopped making videos in that format bc I hated it 2 years ago… now looking back I’m like I wonder how much more of a community I would’ve built if I just kept going and not self critiqued myself into doubt. (btw watching this video is what inspired me to reflect on this topic)

I’m sure some of you can relate, and it just makes me feel frustrated and sad. Our nervous systems are wired to be hard on ourselves, your present-tense critic is loud because she thinks she is keeping you safe. We are systemically taught to be our own worst critic: if we don’t fit into boxes, or a certain size, or if we go against the grain or do anything our true essence and true selves are here to be and do that doesn’t “fit the mark” - we hide it, judge it, suppress it, maybe it even turns into a shadow part. But our future selves look back and see us so clearly, so perfectly, she sees how none of those judgements should’ve been casted against ourselves. She sees that the whole point of this journey was to be the unique and beautiful you all along. It’s like our future selves have mastered the regulation in the areas we feel dysregulated in today.

But can we step into her shoes today? Quantum leap to see ourselves with that same love and awe?

Pretend, for the next two minutes, that a future version of you has just slid into your DMs.

She is typing 💬

What does she say?

Because here is the part that feels like a little scam of the universe: that voice is already available to you. She is available right this second, if you are willing to borrow her for a minute.❤️

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Then last night before bed I journaled out what I was feeling — then took myself through some of my own prompts, and omg I felt so much better after. Like I was finally able to see on paper the why to my pendulum swinging so intensely this week.

So here’s the 6 prompts that I know will help you too:

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That sensation, that essence hugs me and makes me feel safe. Everyone has a different idea of what makes their space feel like home to them - but I’ll share the ways I’ve become intentional in making sure my space/home gives me that sense of peace and replenishes my energy.

1. Organization is a non-negotiable. Not that everything has to be perfectly kept all the time because obviously I do have 2 small boys and that is just not my reality (though I do fantasize what it was like before the chaos lol). But what is in my reality is that everything has it’s place or bin or drawer or closet. I use OXO storage containers and labels in my kitchen cabinets, the storage in our basement has strategy — the organization helps me A. keep track of where everything is but B. it literally brings me joy and soothes my nervous system that there’s structure to our belongings. It brings ease as we go through our daily routines with the kids and ourselves, it factors into the well oiled machine of our system — even when it’s crazy with the kiddos it helps us remain grounded some how.

2. Minimalist design to my bedroom. I like to keep my bedroom with minimal furniture and light, calming neutral tones. Creamy see through curtains, white bed linens, lavender oil on my night stand. Just the thought of that makes my brain feel peaceful. My bedroom is my zen den, I want to walk into it and immediately breathe out that good nervous system regulating sigh.

3. A nourishing living room space. Our living room serves many purposes to us all through out the week, but the most important role it has for me is my time spent there after the boys go to bed. I’m actually sitting on my couch right now. It is the area that I prioritize warmth: couch nooks, cozy blankets, dimmable lights — energy that invites you to sit down and recharge. And yes, I make sure all of the boys toys are back in their place or at least out of my line of sight when I unwind at night.

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4. Decluttering. This is a way I honor the life cycles of all the things we own. Not everything is supposed to be with us forever. A lot of stuff can just take up space and feel like junk. Every so often I’ll choose a random space to declutter like our junk drawer, or go through the drawers in our desks, or my kids toy boxes, or any space that holds an area of storage that can get easily piled up with things from everyone in the house. Firstly, decluttering an area and seeing it freshly re-organized is like a literal turn on for me, I love it. Second, it’s just a healthy habit to let go of things, clear out and make space for the new.

5. Plants and fresh flowers. I am so big on how much nature regulates us, just looking at it and having it around impacts our wellbeing. Having plants around helps the oxygen levels in our home and it brings grounded earth energy to any room. What I love about plants is that they have their own needs, I love caring for them, repotting them in the spring (I literally just did that today), spraying them with water when humidity is low. It’s like having my own way of bringing the beauty of outside into my home. As for fresh flowers, this is a habit I picked up while living in Zürich — fresh flowers are must in my home. I like them to be in an area that I pass often, so they can brighten my mood as I walk by. Fresh flowers carry a soft feminine energy, I love having that energy in my home. It adds to the nourished essence I am always seeking here.

What are some of your intentional ways of curating/creating a space in your home that recharges your batteries? What’s your favorite thing about your home that brings you the most peace? Drop it in the comments - I love getting new ideas on how to ground into my space.

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Journaling helped me bring verbiage to how I felt about my life and where I wanted it to go. I journaled manifestation practices from ‘The Secret’, I journaled about my dating life, my relationship with my family, friends, travels - everything. And maybe some of you are like “eh, not for me” and don’t believe in the power it can hold, that’s totally normal to be skeptical. Journaling isn’t for everyone. But what is for everyone, is being able to bring language to your inner workings, some type of expression about your life, the way you see it, the way you think. Being able to just get it out in any way shape or form is the actual act of becoming fully aware of you, aware of Self.

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When we don’t express our thoughts, feelings or observations about our own life, then how do we become aware of our impact? aware of our patterns? aware of our journey? If it’s just staying inside of us, how much can we change or be aware enough to want to evolve? If it just sits inside of us we tend to victimize ourselves more, be more subject to scarcity mindset, live in a bubble of our own ego. But for those of you who were called to read this Substack, you’re not completely comfortable in that bubble. And that’s a good sign.

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There’s a way out of that bubble, to bring awareness to your reality, the reality that we each are responsible for. So why not take a step back and start looking at our inner workings and how it feeds into the bigger picture? Awareness Changes Everything. And no you can’t change everything all at once, but you can do it over time. Each step you take, after the conscious act of becoming self aware, will always be taken with intention and more awareness. Once you’ve expanded your mind to learn how we are responsible for our reality, well, your mind can never go back to it’s old dimensions - it’ll only grow from there.

Take the time to bring language and story to your inner workings. Journaling doesn’t work for you? Don’t do it. My favorite way to bring awareness to self (outside of journaling) is to vocally say it all, particularly with accountability buddies. Find a friend who can be an accountability buddy and safe space for your self-development journey. To be your human journal. Who doesn’t mind to receive voice notes or texts about your reflections and thoughts about your life (and maybe wants to lean on you in the same way). Start in one section of your life, for example: work. Share what you think about your job, your skills, your duties, the culture, your mental health at work, colleagues, relationships at work. Get detailed and raw about it. Vent from a place of truth. From there you can talk about family dynamics, a relationship dynamic, your physical health. The list of what encompasses your current life is a lengthy one.

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Having a buddy to do this with who is a true safe and honest space, is life changing. You can hear someone else’s perspective of what you’ve been confronting and going through and also just verbally getting your thoughts out vocally is not only cathartic but is a creative way for you to find your own areas of self-sabotaging or patterns that need to go.

OR if you don’t think anyone in your world would enjoy or understand this type of exercise thennnnn let’s be our own accountability buddy! Pull out a voice memo app and record voice notes to yourself (I’ve also done this in the past). Yeah this is kind of like verbal journalling to self, definitely better than getting hand cramps from writing. There is something about speaking out our flow of emotions that is more candid and authentic than writing to self. Sometimes when we are writing we get tripped up on the right words to use or how it’s going to sound as if you’re writing for an audience (when you’re not). But when I get into a flow state of verbal expression, it’s like word vomit, there’s nothing holding me back or making me over think how I sound, which allows me to capture the true essence of how I am feeling, which then brings me to honest breakthroughs and revelations about self.

The more we express our inner world and reflections about our own life, the more we bring attention to how we actually feel about our current life set up: stagnant situations, draining relationships, bad habits, good habits, who lights us up, who doesn’t - so on and so forth. And with that, awareness comes and it will bring with it the yearning for change, the desire to grow, the realizations that we deserve better or want something different. The potential is endless.

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Was I equally scared as I was excited? Yes. I had the many anxious thoughts: what am I going to miss out on while I’m gone? Where is the next step for my own career? Will I even like it there for 9 months? That’s a long time… it’s a small city I’ll probably be bored by month 6. What if this is a mistake? Change is equal parts exciting and scary. There’s so much discomfort in change but more importantly: change means you will experience growth, find untapped parts of yourself and physically bring yourself to a new timeline. And let me tell you… living abroad will teach you more about yourself than staying put ever will.

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Those 9 months turned into 6 years. When we hit the 7 month point of his project, and our time was running out, we both mutually had this nagging feeling that it wasn’t time to leave yet, we needed to stay longer, but we both had no idea for how long. It was the first time we were looking at the future with no real plan.

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I just took an Expansion Workshop with Sarah Baldwin, who is a known name in the therapy world of parts work (IFS). The workshop was all about having a better understanding of our nervous system, to befriend our nervous system - because it’s sole purpose is to keep you safe and alive. She explains that our nervous system is responsible for every single one of our behaviors, it’s the one responsible for our life. The life we currently live is one that our nervous system deems as safe for us to live in. And in order to expand to the next level, we have to get really comfortable with noticing how our nervous system reacts when we feel unsafe. For example, if you want to expand your brand but your nervous system feels unsafe when you are visible to people - then you have to hold hands with it to understand why it feels that way, work through the history of the why, integrate it and move forward. Because if you don’t, your nervous system will continue to block you from being visible, just to keep you safe. It’s beautiful how it wants to keep us safe, but it can definitely get in the way from getting to our next level in certain areas of our life.

This made me realize, that underneath all of the self-development therapies I’ve done (listed above), it was my nervous system I was working with the entire time. And now that I have that line of sight, I can navigate the waters better when it gets real choppy. Doesn’t necessarily make it easier, but it gives us a stage to dance on to breakthrough to the next level, instead of hitting that brick wall of a trigger over and over again.

Take a moment: What’s been triggering you lately? It can be small things, like how upset you get when someone cuts you off on the road to bigger things like how your boss communicates with you, or how your partner shuts down when they’re upset. Take a moment to think what’s triggered you over the last week. Can you ask yourself why it triggered you? Try to get clear on the main reason why it bothered you and I’ll circle back to this later.

I’ll share one of my recent triggers to help you reflect. As I’m working on my brand the last couple months, I noticed A LOT of triggers come up around some of my relationships in my personal life, conversations going sour, and energy drastically shifting. I was feeling frustrated, sad and defensive. “Why?” I asked myself. Well, those relationships or interactions made me feel misunderstood, or not likable or brought on a strong sense of feeling like I didn’t belong. I was confused because, in these relationships I communicated clearly, I was open about my feelings, I was honest and very vulnerable. Soooo… is there just something they don’t like about me? Do they have solid reason? Maybe I’m not a good person? (yes this turned into a full spiral). Once I stopped spiraling, I got curious. Who cares what the conversations were about, let me ask myself: What is it about being misunderstood or not being liked bugs me so much?

Well, asking myself that question and a few days later of much reflecting and journaling - I realized I have a history of feeling this way my whole life. Wanting to be liked and a sense of belonging was a core need to survive when I was younger (hello nervous system). Growing up, we moved a lot, I was always the new girl at school. And I realized oh, I felt that it was safe to be liked because that means I’d be included in activities, I’d have friends, I wouldn’t be rejected and I’d belong. Further, I realized that as an immigrant, my mom very much paved a path of ‘it’s safer to conform, blend in and not go against the grain’ (that was her nervous system speaking on her survival guide). Now I have something to work with here, I have proof that parts of my own nervous system were speaking up every time these conversations were going down. Telling me “oh shit, they don’t understand you, keep explaining yourself until they do” or “If they don’t understand you then you don’t belong then we’ll be unhappy and alone”. These may sound like extreme thoughts or feelings coming from my nervous system, but when I sat with that part of myself that’s what I heard her say.

Putting my finger on those pain points of my nervous system gave me the opportunity to soothe those parts, to show them with full intention that we are completely safe when people don’t understand me or don’t like me. Actually, in my line of work there will be PLENTY of people who feel that way about me. And that was my “aha” moment. Through my direct relationships, the universe was trying to show me: get comfortable with making others uncomfortable because it’s very much a part of the territory with the work you are pursuing. And because the brand I’m building, the work I pursue deeply feels rooted in my mission here in this lifetime, I’ve accepted my fate. Not everyone’s going to like me and a lot of people will misunderstand me, and you know what? That’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’m unsafe, or I don’t belong or I won’t be able to survive. This was the real lesson to learn from my triggers. Now next time I know when I am feeling that way, I can identify exactly where it’s stemming from and hold space for it. And in the full karmic wheel, I thought: maybe whoever I am triggering along the way, they are being invited to the opportunity to connect with their own nervous system.

Now back to you: Bring back the main reason why your triggers bothered you and just ask yourself the very honest question: Where in my life have I felt that feeling before? Think back as far as your memory can go. Can you sit with that for a bit, whatever part or version of you that comes up to answer that question - maybe there will be a few answers, sit with it. Understand that part of you. Bring some compassion to it. If you feel called to journal, do it. Or maybe talk it out out loud, by yourself or with a safe person.

In this moment, you’ve been expanded. You’ve expanded your line of sight to a part of you that’s calling for nurturing, a part of you that the universe is showing you to pay attention to, a part of you that may be holding you back, a part of you that you will see so clearly in future triggers. And maybe the next time, you can just name the reason why you feel the way you do in a deeper way rather than getting caught up in the reaction. And maybe in time if you so choose, those same triggers won’t effect you the same way - maybe they won’t feel as potent - because now you understand yourself better and your nervous system.

All we can do to honor this beautiful life is spend moments like this paying attention to the details of what we encounter on a daily. They’re patterns our nervous system paints all over our lives. It’s art. Our feelings, our interactions, our environment, our relationships. All of it weaves this intricate and glorious web of your life. One that’s meant to be explored and understood. One that’s meant to be seen with intention and awareness. One that’s meant to be treated with curiosity and love.

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But now we’re grown up, and maybe some of us have been in the same industry for some years, or maybe you’re just starting out in a new industry. Or maybe you want to start over and jump off the career cliff. Regardless to where you are with your career, shouldn’t we still be asking ourselves that childhood question in our own adult way? And not just about career… but in a way that answers the question in a complete embodied way of who we want to be? Because at this point we know there is much, much, much more to life than just work. And with life being so easily lived on autopilot in a fast paced, not looking at the clock kind of way - shouldn’t we still be checking in with self to know where we want to be going? Just so we’re not aimlessly spending our energy and time on people, projects and habits that don’t align with that vision of who we want to be.

Who do you want to be?

This is where I love utilizing the simple yet powerful practice of introducing yourself to your highest self. The version of self that emulates and embodies your true essence, your highest potential, your beautiful greatness from the inside out.

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My interpretation: a river is ever flowing always moving. We see it, we see the water there, we know it to always be there as a river, BUT the reality is: is that the water flowing in the river, which by definition makes it a river, isn’t the same water you see every day. Let’s say you drive by a river every morning on your way to work. There it is, the same river. The next day you drive by it again. But actually this river is different than yesterday - it has brand new water molecules that now embody that river. Why? Because of the river’s currents, and channels - it flows, which brings new water to the body of water that you see. So yes it’s the river you drive by everyday, but the water that makes up this river is constantly new, it’s being replaced with new molecules all the time.

Now our bodies, the same thing - our cells every night go through a process of cellular turnover - so there’s our organs constantly updating the cells that actually form our organs and the parts of our bodies. I always understood the process of cellular turnover from different aspects, like prioritizing good sleep, the benefits it has on your microbiome, and of course healing wounds on the surface of our skin or down to our bones mending. But for some reason, the imagery from this river analogy really landed for me this time, that our entire physical being is in this constant state of flow and change at a cellular level just moved me. And now we can take this thought further - that was just the baseline that hooked me.

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I downloaded this book on Audible because I do have an underlying fear of cancer, my dad passed away in 2022 from cancer and ever since then I’ve been pretty much terrified of it. This book discusses the aspects of healing on a cellular level, which is why I was drawn to read it.

Chopra goes on to explain that if we, as in our physical bodies, are constantly a new set of cells, then our bodies from the past no longer exist, we are our new bodies composed of these new cells. So 1995 Laura physically doesn’t exist anymore… so trippy. Which then leads to the topic of healing around cancer. Because cells regenerate based on the pattern they remember to copy (our bodies are so fucking cool) but then how can we intervene the cells in the areas of the body occupied by disease?

Meaning, if cancer is an interruption to our cell turnover and it keeps turning over the new cancer pattern - then how can we interrupt that cellular pattern and teach it a new one to heal? Chopra gave an example of a woman who had cancer that metastasized to her bones and she was miraculously cured by an intensive holistic program that focused on shaping this new cellular pattern - by ways of meditation and nutrition and therapies etc. Incredible yes, but it got me thinking…

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Now stay with me on one more point here… as excited as we were to move back to the states last year (for those of you new here, I was living in Switzerland for 6 years) I was terrified of my health plummeting because how terrible the food is here, and how systemically we are set up to become sick in this very capitalistic culture; our human bodies are not cared for by the powers in office. I feel like I need to advocate for myself at doctor visits, I’ll need to live by farms to get fresh eggs and purposefully find fresh nutrient dense food, etc. I’ve had this intuitive belief that my dad, a born and raised American boomer, got sick because of the high toxic ingredients in our food and in our personal hygiene products.

But after reading this in Chopra’s work, I am thinking - can the mental health crisis in this country be contributing to disease and cancer just as strongly as the foods and products? If our cellular patterns are only following the lead of cellular memory - then self loathing, high anxiety, grief, depression, negative self talk, unhealed trauma can intercept cellular patterns just as easily as an intensive holistic program can to save someone from metastasized cancer. When I take a step back it makes me feel like the states is unfortunately, the perfect storm of negative cellular patterns. Particularly if you are not consciously living your life and are relying on any snack at the market for nutrients and digesting any piece of negative media out there.

I feel so passionate about conscious living and I see it as the way to bring yourself back to your purpose here, even with such a toxic time to be in the states… in the world honestly. But I think conscious living can help us, and maybe even save us. Not living in fear, no. But the exact opposite. Living for purpose, living for fullness.

It’s not just about eating healthy and thinking positively - we have to carve out time and space to absorb energy that truly grounds us on a cellular level. Particularly living here, our “pouring back into self” is not a luxury - it’s a non-negotiable, a necessity - to help our ever flowing bodies feel appreciated, loved and looked after. I want my cellular patterns to read: love.

When I think about the light within me, the first thought that comes up is around compassion. Receiving information with compassion, responding with compassion, reflecting on self with compassion. The second, is self expression, and how I can do that with the divine light within me. Looking at myself as more of a vessel for the light within me to work through rather than trying to force light into my life.

Take a second and ask yourself: what does inner light feel like inside of me? maybe take a few minutes and journal about it or let the thoughts run through in your head and sit with it.

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It took me a while to realize in life that I had special gifts and natural skills that came with me into this world. Systemically I was taught that those gifts and skills weren’t enough to create a life and career around. No one to blame here, it’s just the times we are living in. But, somewhere around 34 I began to listen to the compliments I was getting, the advice I was being seeked out for, the work I was being asked to do with friends in creative spaces. I took a step back and thought “wait, are those asks and compliments things I need to look closer at?” - this definitely shaped my journey to jumping off of the career cliff from corporate but it also was the beginning to my clarity around my inner light and what I came here to be and do. It was my first step toward aligning back to my higher self, my true essence. It’s a life long journey, but one I embarked on openly.

In my belief, we all are born with an essence and purpose. Our souls have a way of showing us these bits throughout life, typically it’s through a form of light. Light can be clarity, it can be a relationship, it can be an out of body experience of alignment, seeing your true self and feeling like you are exactly where you need to be to go where you are going, it can be a moment of deep conversation with a friend or total stranger - the universe shines light in many different ways to guide us. Our journeys are all leading to the road of getting us back to our soul’s purpose, and within that journey we are working with our inner light.

How do we harness that inner light? We don’t. We align with it. It’s not meant to be controlled or perfected. It’s meant to be danced with, it’s meant to be embraced, it’s meant to be met with gratitude and openness, a surrendering of sorts that allows it to be fluid within you so it can then be casted around you. Without you knowing, you’ll most likely be shining light on other people’s lights that you encounter, helping them back to their inner light and purpose too. It’s this beautiful movement of inner knowing that we are all here with a purpose and we are all here to serve each other.

Starting point: ask yourself what compliments have you received lately? What compliments have you received repeatedly throughout life? Those are the lights within that others have noticed about you that you deserve to embrace. Our gifts are so natural to us that they don’t even feel like gifts, but they are gifts. You are special. You are a piece of the light. The more aligned we are with our natural skills and the things that bring us true innate joy - the more we are being called to our higher purpose and true essence. And within that journey, you will feel the light within you, you will illuminate, you will be in motion with the entire purpose of this human experience.

This ‘ask’ brings a lot of awareness, intentionality and consciousness - which can open up the doors to deeper thinking, deeper self reflection and self knowing. Which in itself is a light so attractive to seek out, that I myself can’t ignore it.

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We can shift our scarcity mindset around self-devotion from

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