When a first date between a doomsday prepper and a nerdy film professor goes horribly, zombie-apocalypse-level wrong, the mismatched pair team up on a road trip to safety in this delightfully feral rom-com.

With a new virus spreading and a lockdown on the horizon, Maisie Bennett is determined to check one item off her bucket list: Get laid. But that’s no easy feat for an anxious doomsday prepper who’s never made it past a first date. So when a handsome, stubbly-jawed professor swipes right and agrees to meet up, Maisie vows to act normal—and to leave her taser at home.

Dr. Everett Greer has lost all lust for life after a personal tragedy, but he doesn’t have the heart to stand up the poor woman his best friend catfished to force him back “out there.” Maisie turns out to be surprisingly lovely, but there’s something off about her, too, with her clinking cargo pockets, shy smile, and utility belt full of—are those weapons? Unfortunately, their awkward first date goes from bad to doomed when the GI virus that’s trapped half of America in the bathroom starts claiming its first casualties, then reanimates them into flesh-eating zombies. And this is precisely why Everett doesn’t date anymore.

As the country spins out of control, Maisie and Everett find themselves an unlikely team of two—well, three, if you count Everett’s cat, Chicken—as they travel north to hopeful safety. Along the way, Maisie and Everett make a deal—she’ll teach the soft, liberal arts professor how to survive, and he’ll teach her how to live—through movies, travel, and, to Maisie’s delight, sex lessons. But when their growing feelings are put to the test, they’re in danger of losing not only their brains to the zombies, but worse, their hearts to each other.

Add to your TBR if you love:

🧟‍♂️apocalypse stories

🔪light machete action (non-sexual)

💋lessons

🗡️touch him & die

👨‍🏫hot professor

🥷doomsday prepper

🚙road trip romcom

🏛️only one White House

It is both incredibly fun and incredibly tender, believe it or not! It feels like my most tender romance yet, and I love it to pieces. I hope you will, too!

PREORDER GOODIES REVEAL TIIIME!

I would also dearly like you to preorder Doomsdate, which is why I’ve created an amazing preorder campaign to sweeten ye olde pot!!

You get: a GORGEOUS dust jacket by @artimaking, the same artist who did Pot Shot’s, a sticker or two, a signed, personalized copy, and a two-sided tarot card of Everett and Maisie! All for the price of one book! AMAZING!

Here’s where you can preorder from!

Also, all the preorder links (and links to my tour stops) are in my linktree, available here:

Preorder & Tix linx!

Absolutely GORGEOUS, right??

And, if you missed out on Pot Shot’s gorgeous dust jacket, exciting news on that coming soon!

But perhaps, you don’t want to preorder things. Perhaps you’re sitting there thinking, “Laura, you mangy creative, I am broke and have not had lettuce in months! I would like FREE things, dammit!”

Well, I can relate to that. That’s why Jenna Levine, Mackenzie Reed, and I are teaming up to give you the DOOM, DEATH, & HELL Giveaway! You’ll get signed copies of our three upcoming fall spooky romcom releases, Doomsdate, Love You to Death, and I Hope This Email Finds You In Hell, plus any swag we have lying about!

Here’s how to enter, so listen up b/c there are two ways and lots of extra bonus entries available! Follow all three of us on Instagram and tag a friend in the comments who enjoys spooky, horny fun, AND/OR fill out our form to sign up for our three newsletters! We are all delightful human beings who do not abuse the power of access to your inbox, so I think this is a good deal for you. If you’re a newsletter person, you don’t have to follow us on Instagram and vice versa. It’s just if you’re a devious spirit (fist bump) and would like to game the system to get as many entries as possible, there are ways to do that (fist bump). Here’s the link to the google form to enter:

Enter the Giveaway!

And in case you’re super grabby-handed, again, game respect game, here’s a link to the ongoing Doomsdate GoodReads Giveaway my publisher Dell is doing!

Goodreads Giveaway

In case you forgot, I’m going on tour soon! Tix are at the link above (for the preorders one), and if you buy a ticket that includes a copy of Doomsdate with it, congratulations! You’ve preordered! For folks who come to my event with B.K. Borison and buy the ticket that includes both Grim Tidings and Doomsdate, you get the preorder goodies AND a special event sticker to commemorate the momentous occasion! Please come out and see me, y’all, it’s always an unhinged time. You’re also welcome to dress up spooky or like a doomsday prepper or professor, really, take your pick, just leave your (real) machetes at home!

• Pot Shot is officially a USA Today bestselling novel! It came in as #58 after its first week for sale, and I could not be more thrilled and/or surprised! Okay, I was probably more surprised about the Jesus H. Christ factoid, but come ON! That’s truly shocking!!

• Pot Shot is in its SECOND PRINTING! That means they printed a butt-ton of copies, those copies all got put on bookstore shelves, and now the warehouses are empty so my publisher’s having to pony up and print more. This is DEEPLY satisfying to me. In some sad warehouse out there lie thousands of unsold copies of my first two books. My babies, alone in the dark like that!! Probably crawling with bookish rats! But luckily, Pot Shot has been saved from this particular doom. If you’re one of the extremely attractive people that’s given a copy of Pot Shot a home, bless you. Extra blessings for Hannah and Zoe ownership!!

• I completed a week-long tour for Pot Shot, but I have boundary issues and have said yes to essentially a-whole-nother week of ferrying my giddy ass about, talking about books, mine and otherwise. Several of those events are coming up this week and next! Will I see you at any?

I’m so excited for all of these events, honestly.

It kicks off with me gushing over the second book in Lana Ferguson’s hockey romance series, The Final Score, which features a lovable himbo, and y’all KNOW how I feel about himbos!!!** We’ll be at the Brooklyn Ripped Bodice, cutting up, acting the fool, loving life. Join us!!

Lana Ferguson tix here

Then, I’m flying to the Columbus library festival that I’ve wanted to go to since I first heard about it! The first day, I’m doing a panel with THE Regina Black and THE Alisha Rai called Enemies to Lovers, and I am such a fan girl of both of these amazing authors, it’ll be all I can do not to gaze lovingly at their brilliant profiles during the talk. You should come see us if you’re local to Columbus! I’ll be doing another revisions workshop talk, and signings after those panels as well as a signing with Steamy Lit at the festival! Come find me—it’s all blissfully free! Thank you, libraries!!!

As some of you may know, I am obsessed with Alexandra Vasti. As it turns out, she is also obsessed with me. This is a very fortuitous situation, so when she heard I had two days to kill in the general mid-west area (is OH the midwest?), we decided to rent a car and drive our asses up to Ferndale, MI, to do a joint event celebrating Pot Shot and Alex’s newest banger Scandal of the Summer at Love and Other Books!! We are so pumped for this event!! The next night, we will drive down to Louisville, KY, and do another joint event with A Novel Romance to celebrate their birthday week! Did y’all know Detroit and Louisville are only 5 hours apart? That seems so shocking to me!*** The middle of our country is an enigma.

A Novel Romance Tix Here

Love and Other Books tix here

Lastly, I’ll say goodbye to my beloved Alexandra and say hello to another beloved, Rachel Lynn Solomon, as I’ll be gushing over her newest romance Extracurricular at Wild Geese Bookshop in Franklin, IN! I’ve known Rachel online since… 2016? But this will be our first time meeting in person! I truly cannot wait to give her all the hugs. She is such a delight. Do you all read RLS?? You’re missing out if not. It’s just a fact.

Wild Geese for Rachel tix here

Okay, okay, wrapping up on all the news soon, I swear, but one last bit!! I just announced the Doomsdate book tour over on socials, and y’all, I could not be more excited!!! This is a hell of a tour for a hell of a book about a hell of a United States facing a hell of a zombie virus, and I want to see you there!! All the tickets are linked here:

Tickets here!

I truly cannot believe I wrangled so many of my favorite authors and friends into having conversations with me about Doomsdate!! And come on, a joint event for Doomsdate and Grim Tidings with B.K. Borison?!??!?! It’s going to be EPIC!!! Please buy your tickets early so that the bookstores think I’m amazing—I’m looking at all you sweethearts I met at LoveLitCon in San Diego especially to come to my Meet Cute event!! And Queers & Quills better represent at Grand Gesture in Portland, too! :D Also, IF YOU BUY A TICKET TO ONE OF THESE LAUNCH EVENTS, you will get ALL the preorder goodies, too! If you can’t attend any of the events, you can preorder from any of these bookstores before a certain date (tbd but close to publication date of Sept 15th), and you can get all the preorder goodies that way, as well. As always, you can preorder from my beloveds at Kiss & Tale in Collingswood, NJ OR Cupid’s Bookshop in Philly, too (they both ship), for the full suite of stuff, and let me tell you, I have gone a wee bit overboard.

Preorder Doomsdate from K&T

Preorder from Cupid's Bookshop

Okay, last update, I swear to Jesus H. Christ: Doomsdate is currently on NetGalley to request to read an early copy, AND the good beauties at Dell have a Goodreads Giveaway going for Doomsdate as we speak! Enter here:

GoodReads Giveaway

Okay, I love you. Thank you for being readers and friends and above all, supporters of this crazy dream of mine to make embarrassing jokes and thoughts hyper-public via the printed word. I hope to see you soon!

Star: Apparently, the story behind Jesus H. Christ is about ancient ass abbreviations of Greek letters called “christograms” and how one of them used for Christ’s name looked like an H. Over time, people started just abbreviating that christogram as JHC with Latin letters, hence where we are today. Or something, IDK, I learned this on the internet!!

Star Star: I fucking love himbos.

Star Star Star: Not as shocking as the Jesus H. Christ thing, but pretty shocking.

And as of this morning, it hit the USA Today Bestsellers List at #59!

Omg Omg Omg Omg Omg!

That’s it. I’m going out for tacos and margaritas tonight, and nobody can say NOTHING to me today!

If you haven’t yet, please consider picking up a copy! If you purchase from here, I think they still have signed copies!

Buy Pot Shot from Dog-Eared Books

I also have some fun events planned in these upcoming weeks:

I’ll be appearing at the PGH Book Fest this weekend in an amazing panel with THE Chloe Liese, who is one of my all-time favorite authors and a big reason I felt safe enough writing a book about a woman with Crohn’s disease. If you’re in the greater Pittsburgh area, come out! The weekend is full of amazing author events.

On June 5, I’ll be co-hosting a romance book club on Pot Shot at the B&N Cherry Hill in New Jersey! The evening is going to be amazing, with bookish crafts, signings by tons of romance authors, and capping off with our book club meeting. Reserve your spot here!

B&N Cherry Hill Romance Bash!

On June 7, I’ll be signing copies of Pot Shot at the Romantasy Bookstore in Turnersville, NJ! We have a fun dispensary partner, Midnight Greens, that will be providing giveaways and goodies, too!

Romantasy Signing Info

On Thursday, June 18th, I’ll be participating in a virtual book club with the Reading Garden, an online community dedicated to books and weed, so that’s a great fit. You can join us, too!

On June 24th, I’ll be co-hosting a book club at my lovely Cupid’s Bookshop to discuss Pot Shot! I’m unsure whether there’s any space left for this one, so check in with Tina at Cupid’s for more information!

Lastly, on June 26th, I’ll be taking my beloved Amtrak down to East City Bookshop for an evening celebrating Alexandra Vasti’s Scandal of the Summer! If you’ve known me for 1 minute, you’ll know how much I love Alexandra Vasti’s books, so this is sure to be an amazing night! Come join us!

Get tickets here!

I’ve overcommitted as you can see, but I regret nothing (yet)!!!

Thank you all for your support and love. I am a lucky, lucky person to have you in my corner.

My third adult rom-com, Pot Shot, releases May 19th! I’ve heard that copies have started to appear on tables at over-zealous Barnes & Noble locations, too!

If you missed the news on Instagram, I finally announced the coolest thing to happen to one of my books ever: Pot Shot made the top 25 books of June Indie Next list by the American Bookseller Association! This means that of the thousands and thousands of books publishing in the last half of May through June, indie booksellers around the country nominated my book so much so that it ranked in the top 25 books coming out! Making Indie Next is huge, and making it in June, one of the hardest months because of the big summer releases, is even more amazing. Thanks to this, copies of Pot Shot will make their way to indie bookstores all over the country that heretofore, have never even heard of me! The exposure is amazing, and I’m so, so grateful to all the wonderful booksellers who read Pot Shot and loved it so much.

There’s still time to preorder Pot Shot if you’d like some extra goodies! You can preorder from Kiss & Tale if you’d like a signed, personalized copy, a custom dust jacket, and a sticker sheet! Preordering helps authors SO MUCH! My best chance for Pot Shot to make any bestsellers list is the first week, so help me get there by ordering a copy or five!!!

Preorder from Kiss & Tale

If you’d like a signed copy (bookplate) with an adorable joint clip, lol, you can preorder from Slow Burn TN in Tennessee! They’re collaborating with the amazing Clara Jane dispensary located in Nashville, which wow, don’t fully understand how that’s legal, but very excited to know about!

Preorder from Slow Burn

But! If you can come see me in person during launch week, please do! I’ll have the same preorder goodies from Kiss & Tale with me for all my stops that week, so you can buy from the event bookstore and still get a treat! Most of my stops are ticketed, though, and one has already sold out, so please hurry and get your tickets soon!

Tickets for The Ripped Bodice Here

Tickets for The Purple Couch here

Tickets for Eagle Eye Bookshop Here

I’d especially love to see y’all at The Ripped Bodice in Brooklyn! We have a dispensary partner, Gotham, which is woman-owned and amazing, who’ll be providing goodie bags! And if you’re local to me, please come to Doylestown! It’s not ticketed, and I would love to see you there as I’ll be with the amazing Ellie Palmer!!

If you’re one of my lovely readers that live elsewhere, don’t be too sad! I’m doing a ton of events in June, July, and then again for the Doomsdate tour in September! The chances are good I’ll be coming to your neck of the woods soon!

And now, I’ll leave you with this lovely blurb from Chloe Liese, who writes the swooniest romances, and had such kind things to say about Pot Shot.

Subscribe now

This hasn’t happened to me yet. All the major issues I had with HANNAH, ZOE, and POT SHOT’s covers were all more or less rectified by the final product! [like River’s original man-bun was so insane looking, you guys, my GOD]. So, I was due for a total misfire, right?

WRONG. Because DOOMSDATE’s cover is EVERYTHING! It is by far my most favorite cover yet. It is gorgeous, detailed, vivid, and perfectly attuned to the story itself. When I gave an early note to the illustrator to make Everett look more like Lee Pace, what did the amazing Flops Comics do??

They made him look EXACTLY like Lee Pace.

To be fair, I had a real vision for this cover, and I think my vision for it did ultimately influence my Dell publishing team into creating an amazing version of it for the final cover. DOOMSDATE is a zombie apocalypse story AND a romance, and I wanted it to have a fun, campy vibe, preferably in pop/comic book style. I even commissioned a fake cover to go out on submission with from a very nice guy who could not draw a hot man to save his life. We all have our struggles.

This was the fake cover:

Like nobody’d bang that guy, and her tits-to-ass proportions are perhaps the most unrealistic aspect of the cover, but whatever! It’s the vibe, right?

At first my team was thinking maybe Brynne Weaver’s TOURIST SEASON would be a cool cover to emulate, but I was so, so glad when they decided to go comic book style as I’d hoped!

Here are the first drafts I got to see:

Well, this was no contest for me—the second option was exactly what I was thinking! The first makes sense b/c DOOMSDATE is a road trip book, but ehhhh, definitely too pastoral feeling. This is when I said, please please please the second one, and also please make him look like Lee Pace. And here’s what I got back:

Like holy shit, dude, that is Lee Pace. WELL DONE, FLOPS!!!

Then it was time for the color!! It was such a tough decision. This cover looks amazing in every color palette. I really liked these two, even though we didn’t go in this direction:

I made every kind of comparator table, asked all my group chats, forced my babes at Kiss & Tale Romance Bookshop to drop what they were doing and weigh in. Which colorway was best???

Finally, I said: you know what? These are all amazing, but can Flops re-do the colors they used in this absolutely sick piece of art?? (Follow FlopsComics immediately)

And FLOPS DID!!! Once again, Flops made it happen. BEHOLD!!!!

DOOMSDATE’S INCREDIBLE COVER!!!

Tag yourself, I’m the zombie on the right whose eyeball’s dangling at how hot this cover is.

Y’all, I LOVE IT!!! DOOMSDATE is out September 15th, 2026, and I truly cannot wait to see what you all think of my incredibly hot, horny, sex-lesons-for-survival-tips roadtrip romcom that is also vaguely nihilistic and has real horror moments along with some big, big feelings. I love this book. I love that I got to write it. I love that Dell beat out a bunch of other publishers to buy it because they loved the story so much and saw all of its potential. And I hope you love it, too.

The preorder campaign hasn’t been announced (or even figured out yet, lol), but there will be one! In the meantime, please add DOOMSDATE to your TBR on GoodReads and keep an eye out for it on NetGalley—should be up in a month or so, I’d imagine!

DOOMSDATE on GoodReads

And if you haven’t read POT SHOT yet, it’s still up for “Read Now” on NetGalley, which means you can request it and get to read it without having to wait for my publisher to approve you!

Also, go ahead and add POT SHOT to your GoodReads want to read as well, because the GoodReads giveaway is starting tomorrow! My publisher Union Square will be gifting away 10 finished SIGNED copies, as well as alternate dust jackets, stickers, and my love!

POT SHOT on GoodReads

Tomorrow, the big cover reveal for DOOMSDATE will make its way onto Instagram, so stay tuned and please boost my posts about it if you see them!

Love,

Laura

Preorder Pot Shot

My darlings, this is going to be a quick one today!

first, it is my birthday! I am 44 outrageous years old today! I’m telling you this for blatant manipulative purposes.

second, you should preorder Pot Shot from Kiss & Tale Bookshop! This will result in maximum goodies coming your way! Also it is my birthday, see above.

third, Pot Shot, my steamy, hilarious stoner rom-com, is available via Read Now on NetGalley! No pesky waiting for your request to be approved. Seize the book. Read it, love it, review it. See above for step two. This read now status is only for 2/2-2/3 so hurry!

For the uninitiated, NetGalley is an advance review website where if you join for free, you can sign up to read books and review them before they come out.

That’s all from me, folks! It is my birthday, and this giant waffle won’t eat itself. And if you’re in the Nashville area, come see me and Ashley Herring Blake tonight at Parnassus Books to celebrate the launch of her latest and greatest, Get Over It, April Evans!

With love,

Laura

Well, that didn’t stop me.

Here was the original pitch I sent back on December 8, 2022:

THE POT-SHOT

Pitch: Nomi Wyeth is this close to realizing her millennial dream of opening her own marijuana dispensary when her old high school rival, Julian Ciccone, gets elected to City Council and thwarts the last bit of legislation she needs to open. THE POT-SHOT is an enemies-to-lovers romcom with the small town government humor of Parks and Rec and the lady-stoner fun of Broad City. Setting: fictional small town in southern New Jersey, not too far from the Jersey shore.

This one will be so fun because have you ever been to a dispensary? The characters in those places are UNREAL! It also hits close to home because Nomi will have Crohn’s disease in remission (like I do), and feel strongly about accessible marijuana for all (like I do), but Julian, a public defender by day, will feel just as strongly against it due to the long history of incarcerating Black people for marijuana offenses and doing nothing to rectify that while people with resources & privilege are now allowed to open dispensaries. They will come together on these issues, giving what will hopefully be a very funny book a lot of heart and a social conscience.

So, yeah, that didn’t happen. And it’s for the best, honestly! I love Zoe Brennan, First Crush, and my little sapphic romcom has been doing better than ever—Did you see that a write-up on it was featured in the freaking New York Times last week!??!

Honestly, I cried on and off all morning! My little Zoe in the New York Times!!!

But, lest you be too confused, the original idea for Pot Shot changed quite a bit from what the book is today. While Nomi is exactly the same as I envisioned originally, her high school rival-to-enemy-to-lover Julian is now Dr. Julian D’Angelo, and he is still staunchly against cannabis, but it’s more emotionally tied to his past and his perception of those who partake. The book still deals with quite a bit of social justice issues, but it focuses mostly on the treatment of those with chronic illness within the medical industry. Nomi does have a non-profit she is starting to help expunge cannabis-related offenses in the book, but this is a smaller thought. Might come up in another book set in this world, though… [eyeballs emoji] We’ll see.

When it came to designing the cover, I have to say, my publisher REALLY listened. I wanted a play off of this old Cheech and Chong movie poster.

But like, sexy. Being that I used to have a graphic design business, I thought I could do a quick mock-up of what I wanted in Canva to help.

I’m truly multi-talented, y’all.

And this, THIS is what they came up with!!

[angels stop puffing long enough to cough out a song] YES!!!! It’s GLORIOUS!

And okay, if you beg, maybe I’ll release a special edition with my version of the cover.

That being said, I actually AM doing a special edition dust jacket for Pot Shot with an absolutely stunning illustration by an artist that I’ll share in a few months. If you know, even without beholding its beauty (and it is beautiful, y’all), that you’re definitely going to want the dust jacket, sticker sheet, and whatever else I decide to include, along with a signed copy of Pot Shot, you can preorder from the amazing folks at Kiss & Tale Bookshop! They ship anywhere in the United States, and a preorder with them guarantees allllll the goodies. Please note you have to set up an account with them for the shipping option to appear when you purchase, though.

Preorder from Kiss & Tale

Now, I’ve yapped long enough. Time for the first cha—

Except there is a few more things, lol. First, I want you to know that Pot Shot is UNHINGED. It is stoner comedy, but make it feminist. It is an ode to the stoner comedy genre that I love, but it centers women and women’s pleasure, and it’s super hot to boot. There are no chuckling Seth Rogen love interests in this story, y’all. Julian may be obnoxious (okay, he’s incredibly obnoxious), but he is HOT, and bear with him because he has a heart of gold and undergoes one of the most satisfying characters arcs I’ve ever written.

Okay. For real. Here is the first chapter. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!!

CHAPTER ONE

NOMI

It’s eleven p.m. the night before our Memorial Day beach trip, so you know what that means.
Pube chores.

Grimacing, I wrestle the electric razor free from its packaging. As a natural brunette, I have no choice. When I purchased the red, bandana- printed bikini, I didn’t realize it’d look like a bearded bandit robbing the county bank down there. I’ve gotta take care of business.

Regrettably, business is booming.

I plug in the razor and hike a foot onto the bathroom counter. I saw this tip on a male makeover show, and if men can buzz their body hair away, why can’t I? It’s satisfying, removing whole stripes of hair at a time, and way less painful than waxing. Genius, I huff.

I traverse nooks and crannies with ease and pause for a quick tug of weed from my vape. It’s a new strain I’m trying for work, and my head feels thick and syrupy. The body high’s spreading, too, and a pleasant, giddy rush tingles in my lower belly.

Ahh. I make a mental note. This is horny pot.

I take another hit, admiring the line of my leg in the mirror’s reflec- tion, then release the vapor seductively in an exaggerated pucker.

Behold your Valedictorian, Sparrow Nook, New Jersey, for she has come far.

The clipper guard yanks a thick patch and I hiss, nearly losing my balance. I toss the offending plastic away. I need a closer shave, anyway, which will be good enough as long as nobody gets too close down there.

Fortunately/unfortunately, nobody ever does. Contrary to what my best friends Eve and Graham think, I don’t try not to date. It comes very naturally. When I was younger, I was too sick to care. Now that my Crohn’s disease is technically in remission, which means I only get sick once or twice a month instead of constant misery, I still don’t care. Dating is hard, stressful, and involves too many restaurants and public bathrooms. It’s easier to just . . . not, and focus on my health, friendships, and opening my dream business—a cannabis dispensary with lounge à la Amsterdam “coffeehouse.” Great lighting, excellent vibes, and a place you can buy, partake, and socialize.

I sigh dreamily as I raze my bikini line down to the skin.

Once New Jersey legalized cannabis, it was like a spotlight clicked on and an aggressive stage manager whisper-yelled “Showtime!” before shoving me onstage. I’d been lost for so long, unsure of what to do with my life when illness consumed so much of it. But as soon as the legislation passed, I started researching how to open my own dispensary. I got a job at the first one in the area, worked up to manager, and I’ve been planning and saving ever since.

See? No time for love.

When the right hemisphere of my mons pubis is suitably bald, I eye the narrow strip of hair lining the inner sanctum.

You could leave it, Spinster Nomi whispers in my head. Nobody will ever see it. <cackles>

I take another tug of weed.

She’s right, of course. Nobody has ventured this far since . . . when was that party where I made out with Lil Dom, Sparrow Nook’s goofiest cop? Ugh, she fake retches in my head. I still can’t believe you made out with Lil Dom!

“I was lonely,” I mutter aloud. “I liked his mustache.”
See? You can’t be trusted, she says. Leave the inner bush as deterrent.

I sigh. As much as I’d like to, it looks ridiculous. How can I respect myself with the Swedish Chef lurking in my panties? It’s like a soul patch with too much soul. A metaphorical No Trespassers sign surrounded by weeds. I take another hit, lean into the one-legged lunge on my counter, and spread myself carefully—

My front door slams against the wall. I shriek as the bulky razor slips, colliding horrifically with flesh, then falls. My foot careens off the counter.

“Nomi!” Eve calls. “You’ve gotta try these! Nomi?”

I look down at the warm, slick coating of blood on my fingers and the shrieks graduate to screams. Eve throws the bathroom door open, and now she’s screaming, too. Evangeline Ionides may present as a black cat lesbian, but she’s the human equivalent of the pot-laced cinnamon rolls she makes every Christmas. Eve does not do strife; she cannot witness suf- fering. A softie of the highest order.

“Jesus, Nomi!” Eve gapes at my hunched body naked from the waist down. Blood drips between my fingers onto the tile, and she covers her eyes immediately. “Is that your period?! Why’s it so heavy, oh my GOD!”

“No, you dweeb! I cut myself shaving!” I moan at the sharp stinging pain coming from just left of center, in folds town. “Hand me a towel!”

Eve fumbles one-handed around my bathroom, still covering her eyes, chanting oh, God until she finds a towel and throws it at me. It lands over my head. Everything goes dark.

Eve!” I stumble into the wall. “Fuck! I’m the one with the injury—calm down!”

“How can I calm down?!” Eve screeches. “You want to have children one day!”

Her words are muffled by the towel still over my head. I can’t let go of the—area—or else the world will end. My head feels strange and light.

“Call Dr. Appa—I think I need stitches.” I stagger into her. “Please, Eve. Need you to be calm.”

“Okay, okay, this is okay,” Eve says far too loudly as she holds me up. “I’m gonna wrap your—”

“—area.”

“—area,” Eve agrees, “with this towel.”

“Don’t make me move my hands,” I mewl. I’m the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dike, except this is taking all my fingers, and I’m theoretically straight.

Eve grabs the towel and wraps it around my lower half. It’s big enough for the edges to meet but not fold over, so she holds them shut as we shuffle pathetically to her car.

“How did this happen?!”

“You! You happened! Your car’s out front—I thought you were upstairs, asleep!” Eve and I share an old Craftsman bungalow split into two extremely non-regulation apartments that her Uncle Dimitri rents to us super cheap. The reason it’s so cheap is because the only way to reach the upstairs apartment is by walking through the downstairs apartment to the one stairwell. This isn’t the first time Eve’s terrified me by barging in, but it’s definitely the bloodiest.

“I was at Graham’s because it’s too hot to bake upstairs right now. We perfected the new recipe for the pot scones, by the way. The key was pomegranate—can you believe it? The tart sweet blends with the cannabis 30N just right, and I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to show you!” Eve, our future dispensary’s ultra-talented baker, stops chattering to gag a little at my bloody leg, then guides me into the front seat and buckles me in. “Do you want one?”

“No!”

“You sure? You know how scones dry out. They won’t keep for tomorrow—”

“Eve, drive!” I blink against the bleary weight of the drugs already in my system. “Wait, can you drive? Are you high right now?”

“No.” She glances at my toweled lap and laughs nervously. “Not yet at least. Scones haven’t hit.”

“Scones? Plural?!”
“Experimentation requires sacrifice, Nomi!”
Eve speeds through the streets of Sparrow Nook, our quaint town located halfway between Philadelphia and the long, sandy strip of the Jersey Shore. So help me God, Eve better not get us pulled over for speeding. Lil Dom got dumped a month ago, and speeding tickets in Sparrow Nook have tripled since. There was an article about it in the paper and everything.

“Was it the big flap?” Eve’s eyes flick from the road to me.

“Huh?”
“You know, the big flap. Every woman has one big flap.”

“What? No, they don’t.”

“Hate to pull the lesbian card, but I’ve seen quite a few flaps, and—”

“Eve! Just park!”
Eve jerks into a spot in front of the old Strange Drugs Pharmacy. The Coming Soon: For Lease sign in its window winks at me as Eve pulls me from the car. I moan, not wanting my dream location for our dispensary to see me like this. We waddle past it—me in front, Eve holding my towel from behind—one door down to the clinic run by Sparrow Nook’s beloved Dr. Srinivasan, better known as Dr. Appa. Sparrow Nook doesn’t have its own hospital or emergency room—you’d have to drive half an hour for that—but we do have Dr. Appa. During the day, he runs a family practice, and at night, he has on-call urgent-care hours.

And tonight, I need poor, elderly Dr. Appa to urgently care for my area.

“You called ahead, right?” I pant as Eve readjusts my towel.
“Yeah, Dr. Appa said the new guy’s working tonight.”
“New guy?” I wail, a wave of dizziness crashing over me. “I don’t want a new guy! I want Dr. Appa!”
“NEW GUY!” Eve yells as soon as we’re inside. “WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!”
The reception area is empty and quiet except for the fluorescent lighting’s buzzing, the daytime staff long gone. It’s creepy. Standing here, inconveniently high and half-naked beneath a towel in front of the kids’ area with its disappointing wooden toys, feels especially wrong. Footsteps hurry from the back, and I blink as the new guy’s face comes into focus. Dark, wavy hair parted on the side, the tips ending in springy little curls. A pair of gold-rimmed glasses shoved high on a long, straight nose. Behind them, big, blue eyes stare at me in disbelief.

No.

The broad-shouldered man in the white doctor coat freezes. His face turns pale and ashen, as if it’s his vulva that’s hemorrhaging. “Nomi... Wyeth?”

“No!” I try to step backward, but Eve’s there, blocking my exit.

“Yes, that’s her!” Eve speaks loudly from behind my back. “Her big flap’s bleeding out, doctor. I think she’s confused.” Eve, who clearly hasn’t even looked at New Guy, corrals me toward him. I’m still clutching my area, too afraid to let up the pressure, and her shove knocks me off balance. I tip over, my face smooshing against the name embroidered in blue cursive over his chest pocket, confirming that, yes, my worst nightmare is happening right now.

Dr. Julian D’Angelo.

First my high school rival, briefly my . . . I don’t know what, then my absolute nemesis and now, apparently, my doctor? What’s he doing here? He lives in Philly—works in an ER there, last I heard. He hates Sparrow Nook!

Julian catches me by the elbows with a sharp intake of air as he clocks the blood running down my legs. The horrified recognition of who I am is replaced with professional medical urgency.

“What happened?”

Before I can stutter out clearance rack electric razor, Eve gasps, mentally a moment behind us.

“Julian D’Angelo?!” Her hands go distressingly slack, and then, I feel it: the cool kiss of air on my ass as Eve drops the towel. In the immortal words of Kate McKinnon, I’m now Porky-Pigging it in my cropped T-shirt and nothing else in front of Julian fucking D’Angelo.

Maybe I should just bleed out.
Julian eyes us. “Are you on recreational drugs?”
Eve blurts out “No!”—a juvenile reflex to Julian’s big-cop energy, though cannabis is fully legal. The obvious lie is undercut by my stupid T-shirt featuring a red-eyed Colonel Sanders holding a bucket of green buds labeled THC, which our eyes flick to simultaneously.

Julian’s jaw clamps shut, and then he picks me up princess-style like I weigh nothing. In high school, Julian was a string bean of guy—all height, spite, and sharp elbows. But Dr. Julian D’Angelo is—wow. Some- thing altogether different. I stare up at the freshly shaven line of his jaw and try to process this stunning turn of events as my life force drains from my vulva.

Julian was the first person I met at Sparrow Nook High. I’d just moved to the sleepy, almost‐a‐shore town from Atlanta two weeks before my senior year. As a quiet, southern goth with a perfect GPA, the move up north felt tantamount to social annihilation. A feeling confirmed when I walked into the debate team’s practice after school hoping to find my people and found Julian instead. He took one look at my dyed-black hair and skull-patterned fishnets, rolled his bespectacled blue eyes, and said: Detention’s down the hall.

I’ve been pissed at him ever since.

Julian was completely obsessed with prestige, with being the best. The best GPA, the best SAT scores, first place at every debate tournament— he won every single accolade.

Until I snatched valedictorian out of his maniacal hands. Which are now, coincidentally, about to inspect folds town.

“Tell me what happened,” he orders.
“Pube chores!” Eve yells just as I say, “Shaving accident!”
I moan, more from mortification than pain at this point.
Julian enters Patient Room #2 and lowers me gently onto a white table-cot that I immediately ruin, then pulls out the stirrups for my feet. “LET GO OF YOUR VULVA,” he commands at an insane volume, but I shake my head furiously.

“I can’t, I can’t!”

“Yes, you can.” The latex glove slaps his skin as he pulls it on. He glares at me as he approaches with an epic amount of gauze. “I have to look at your—”

“—area,” I mewl.

Julian’s face is redder than I’ve ever seen it. “—vulva,” he corrects, which is so much worse. Oh, God. Julian D’Angelo’s going to see my vulva.

“Where’s the injury?” he barks.

“She said somewhere left of center,” Eve supplies from the doorway. “In folds town!”

Jesus, I said that aloud?

“Only family can be back here.” His eyes narrow. “Are you family?”

Eve considers this. “I mean, not technically, but from a spiritual perspective—”

“Then get out!”

My eyes widen. Julian has the bedside manner of a German shepherd on meth. Eve winces at me apologetically, then runs for the waiting room. He spins back to me. “On the count of three, you’re going to let go, and I’m going to staunch the wound with this gauze. You will be fine. Ready?”

“No,” I cry. “Call Dr. Appa! Make him come in!”
“Dr. Srinivasan is at home asleep, so you’re stuck with me, Wyeth.”

Julian’s blue eyes are as intense now as they were staring me down across our debate podiums. “One.”

“No‐no‐no!”
“Two.” He leans forward, like he’s about to pounce.
I squinch up my entire face.
“THREE!”
And God help me, I do it. I let go. I squeal as Julian’s broad palm comes down like a hammer against the entire area. There’s at least an inch of gauze between us, but the firm pressure feels like such relief, I collapse backward, limp. When I open my eyes, Julian’s poised between my parted legs. His face is nearly purple now.

He’s breathing in, silently counting to four and out for a count of six.

“Are you—alright?” What is it with other people experiencing palpable distress over my bloody vu—area?

His eyes snap up to mine. “I’m fine. Once again, are you under the influence of recreational drugs?”

“No.”
Yes. But I’m not telling him that.
I scowl at the wall. Guess legalization didn’t shake Julian’s historic scorn for cannabis.

His gaze flicks down to the gauze, then back to my face. He clears his throat. “The bleeding is under control now. I’m going to remove the gauze so I can inspect the wound.”

“No!” I slam my knees together on instinct, trapping his hand there. Julian’s expression is truly alarmed. “I-I’m scared,” I finally admit, my knees slacking open.

“I’ll be gentle,” he says, his voice low and strangely husky. It plucks something inside of me. Julian sucks a deep breath in and repositions his palm slightly, sending a wave of heat through my broken bits up to my belly.

Oh, NO! Spinster Nomi gasps. The horny pot!

Now I’m as red as Julian. I start to cover my face with my hands, but they’re coated with blood. There’s nowhere to hide in this hell I’ve entered. Please don’t get wet. Please don’t get—

“I’m peeling back the corner.” Julian removes the gauze. Another sharp breath in.

“Is it that bad?” I cry.

“No, but I need to—remove the blood—to examine the laceration.” His words come out thick, and he clears his throat as he dabs the area with saline-soaked gauze. His touch is surprisingly soothing, and I start the same breathing technique just to keep my head on straight about this.

Julian D’Angelo is cleaning my vulva.
Julian D’ANGELO is CLEANING my VULVA.
JULIAN D’ANG—
“Wyeth...” He bites both of his lips in, making direct, unblinking eye contact with, oh hell, folds town. “You need sutures.”
“No,” I whisper, even though part of me always knew this is how it would end. Not the stitches, exactly, but dying of embarrassment. You don’t get to thirty-three as a woman with Crohn’s disease, arguably the most embarrassing disease of all time, without coming close to expiring via mortification.

And now, my time has come.
“Slide forward.”
I scoot toward the cot’s edge, but my face twists in discomfort, and wordlessly, Julian places his large hands on either side of my hips and lifts. His skin is warm through the gloves, giving me goose bumps down the length of my legs as he tugs me forward, bringing me to the cot’s edge.

I want to die. And also, have sex.

Julian lifts my left calf, also unshaven, until it’s bent at the knee, plac- ing my foot gingerly into one of the stirrups, then the other. My knees instinctively fall together, but he pulls them apart to step fully between my legs. The sight of stern, adult Julian hovering over me, his face taut with vicious concentration, sends a lightning bolt through my entire being.

Oh, Jesus. I’m definitely getting wet.

Julian lowers himself onto a stool between my stirrups until all I can see is his disembodied head floating between my legs. With one hand, he parts my flesh, giving him full access to my—

“Left labium,” he says to no one, his voice strangely choked, “laceration approximately—three centimeters, presenting with mild damage to the—soft tissue.”

He sounds like a doctor on an ER show, but there’s no nurse standing by to hand him instruments. Meanwhile I’ve entered some Zen, dissociative state as the guy who once petitioned the Sparrow Nook Board of Education to revoke my valedictorian eligibility on the sole basis that my prior credits were earned in Georgia, and thus, inherently suspect, slathers a numbing cream across folds town. I turn and face the wall, squeezing my lips shut as Julian D’Angelo proceeds to stitch up my labium.

“All done.” He peels off his gloves and tosses them in the trash, then bolts for the door. I stare at his fleeing back in disbelief.

“Wait!”
Julian freezes and, reluctantly, peers at me over his shoulder. “What?”

I blink, then gesture below. “What do I do about this?”
He frowns at my half-shaved bush, a study in contrasts. Finally, he coughs.
“It’s a . . . vibe. I guess.”
I blink. “I was referring to the fact I have no pants?”
Julian’s eyes widen behind his gold frames, and the blush returns full force. “Ah.” He disappears and returns a moment later with scrubs. He turns to face the door while I hobble one leg at a time into the pants. I feel the need to say something, to smooth over this moment with a laugh, with anything that would make it feel like what just happened won’t embarrass me until the end of time.

“I can’t believe Julian D’Asshole just sewed up my labium.” I don’t know why the old nickname half the school called him comes back to me now, or why I thought using it would be a good idea. He always hated it, and by the look of his tightening shoulders, he still does. He swirls around to face me, all pretenses of professional courtesy gone.

“Well, I can’t believe I had to deal with Nomi Wyeth’s mangled genitalia because of”—his eyes flash as he air quotes—“pube chores.” He shakes his head, disgusted. “Congratulations, Wyeth. You’ve ruined lasagna forever.”

My mouth drops open. Did he just compare my vulva to, to, lasagna?! Fury floods my entire body.

“Whatever, Julian, you’ve always wanted to see my vulva, and you know it!” I storm into the hallway, holding up the too-big scrubs by the waistband.

“Keep the laceration clean and dry!” He sticks his head into the hallway to yell after me. “And I did not want to see your vulva!”

CHAPTER TWO

JULIAN

Idid want to see her vulva.

[lol, to be continued!]

So as you can see folks, you’ll just need to pull out that handy dandy credit card in your wallet and head right over to Kiss & Tale Bookshop! I mean, how does one come back from that lasagna comment? How?? You’ll just have to see.

If you review early copies of books, Pot Shot is now available on Net Galley! Please also add Pot Shot to your Want To Read bookshelf on GoodReads.

Include Pot Shot on any of your “Most Anticipated 2026 Reads” lists because that is my love language, and I’d like you to speak it. :) Preorder it! Request it from your local library (libby counts)! Keep an eye on this space because we have several giveaways coming up for it, including some really fun promotions!

Love,

Laura

Subscribe now

Yes, I’m ridiculous. Yes, that’s an energy drink. Yes, it’s FREAKING KISSMAS, DARLINGS!!!

To celebrate my upcoming steamy stoner rom-com POT SHOT out May 19, 2026, I’ve put together a little holiday giveaway featuring some of my favorite 2025 books (plus JUST LIKE MAGIC, which is my favorite holiday read all around regardless of when it came out, okay!!) along with cute coordinating little gifts, all wrapped up and ready to be shipped to you if you win! The books are all signed editions (except for one, working on it!), and each comes with 1-2 little gifts from me to you. There are several ways to enter, including a free way, so no purchase is necessary. Here’s what you do:

All you have to do is either preorder POT SHOT ($) or request it from your local library (free!), and take a screenshot of whatever you do and submit it via the Google form linked here:

Enter the Giveaway!

If you want bonus entries, you can preorder POT SHOT, request it from your library, AND purchase the e-book of ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH, currently on sale on all digital platforms for a mere 2.99! That’ll get you 3 chances per day!

The best news is, once you enter once, your name will be in the pool to win all twelve days of the giveaway, meaning you have at least twelve chances to win one of these lovely signed books along with on-theme gifts!

Well, okay, maybe that’s not the best news. Because the REAL best news is, if you enter by preordering POT SHOT from Kiss & Tale Bookshop, you’ll receive a ton of special preorder goodies, such as:

• a signed, personalized copy of POT SHOT when it comes out May 19th;

• a special, limited edition dust jacket for POT SHOT;

• stickers;

• and probably more b/c I’m a real sucker for giving stuff away!

So you get to do me a huge solid because preordering helps authors out big time AND help out an amazing indie romance bookstore AND get a bunch of free stuff AND enter to win this giveaway where I’m practically THROWING the prizes at you!! Lovingly, of course!! Kiss & Tale ships anywhere in the U.S., but you do need to create an account on the store’s website (linked here) for the shipping option to be shown to you!

Preorder POT SHOT from Kiss & Tale!

You can preorder POT SHOT from anywhere to enter, but only Kiss & Tale can guarantee you the preorder gifts. Grudgingly, I provide you this link:

Preorder POT SHOT elsewhere!

Wait, you might be saying. Why should I order POT SHOT at all? You don’t even have a cover yet!

To which I reply, wow, harsh, but yes I do have a cover, thank you very much, it’s just a little risque and as a result, my publisher is making sure it won’t get flagged on any major social media platforms!!

Here’s a little teaser just for you newsletter folks, though! A full reveal is coming in January.

SHRIEKS!!!!! It looks soooooo good, y’all!!! Can’t wait for you to see the full glorious cover!!

Here’s what it’s about:

To open her cannabis dispensary, a chronically ill woman must defeat the surly doctor next door in this hilarious and steamy romantic comedy.

Nomi Wyeth, former valedictorian and current pothead, has her heart set on opening her own boutique cannabis dispensary in charming downtown Sparrow Nook, New Jersey. Cannabis changed Nomi’s life, giving her relief from Crohn’s disease when nothing else could, and it’s her dream to help others find the same peace and comfort she has. But Nomi’s plans are rudely interrupted when Dr. Julian D’Angelo, former salutatorian and current asshole, returns to Sparrow Nook with a chip on his shoulder, a probation to serve at the medical practice next door, and a lifelong vendetta against weed.

When an unfortunate shaving accident lands Nomi onto Julian’s exam table, Julian is appalled to discover that his high school nemesis is still inconveniently gorgeous, still hates his guts, and worst of all, that she’s planning on opening an amoral weed bordello next to his clinic. War is the only answer and definitely not an excuse to keep running into witty, free-spirited Nomi.

As they battle each other all over Sparrow Nook, from “pot luck” fundraisers to public debates at City Council meetings, their fraught pasts and feelings for each other become harder and harder to ignore. It’s tough to say what will change first—their minds or their hearts—but one thing’s for sure: they’re not going down without a fight.

The hilarious author of ANY TROPE BUT YOU Victoria Lavine said POT SHOT is the funniest book she’s ever read, and I definitely think it’s the funniest one I’ve written, so please, help me out by entering the giveaway and showing POT SHOT some love!

These are some of the books I’m giving away!

These books are all guaranteed bangers, y’all, and all of them are signed (except one which might still happen!)

To kick off the giveaway, my first Kissmas gift is the gorgeous sapphic historical romance, LADIES IN HATING by my dear Alexandra Vasti! This book has it all—laughter, pining, beautiful women doing it by firelight—just gorgeous all around, and it was recently named one of the best books of the year by Library Journal! The coordinating gifts are a little rose pouch, what you put in it—hey, that’s your business—and an enamel pin of a beautiful Gothic mansion of your very own, in case you get jealous of the Ladies!

I’ve painstakingly wrapped each book and gifts up so lovely, you’ll have a delightful present to open if you win! You can see the wrapping process video on my Instagram or TikTok (@laurapiperlee) if you like!

Today’s a big day for Alexandra Vasti fans, too, because she’s releasing for a limited time a FREE CHRISTMAS novella over on her newsletter!! If you haven’t signed up for Alexandra’s newsletter, I highly recommend it—you get free novellas from time to time as well as news about one of the best romcom authors out there right now. I highly recommend! You can sign up for her newsletter right here:

Alexandra's Newsletter

Okay, this was very long, you’re a real champ for hanging in there! Please enter the giveaway (remember, entering earlier gets you MORE chances to win and honestly less competition), and also my undying affection!!

Love,

Laura

For the month of December, ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH, my starred-review-earning sapphic romantic comedy, is only $2.99! That’s right. For the price of half a Starbucks coffee that you’d have to split with someone who may or may not have Noro-COV-Flu, you could INSTEAD live inside the rolling foothills of Georgia wine country, reading about horny lesbians falling in love with each other one bickering argument at a time!

Buy the E-Book here!

If you love:

• childhood crushes that

• come back to haunt you, that

• are still SUPER hot, but

• are ALSO huge assholes now, and

• maybe there’s more to them than you thought, but

• you’re very lonely and think that’s just how life is for you, and

• you’re ALSO pretty embarrassed because

• you accidentally slept with your childhood crush

• in a blindfolded threesome in chapter two, and

• now they work for you for the foreseeable future, and

• I repeat, they’re a huge asshole now, but

• you fall in love with them anyway because

• love is real, after all, and

• they’ve convinced you that you deserve it.

Then you should really buy Zoe Brennan’s story. It’s funny, it’s hot, and it makes me cry every time I read it.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Please stay tuned to this newsletter because soon I will be revealing the cover of POT SHOT, my steamy, hilarious stoner romantic comedy set in NEW JERSEY, (that’s right, I’m leaving Blue Ridge for more Italian-heritage shores)! I will also give you the details of the preorder campaign. You should definitely plan on preordering from the amazing Kiss & Tale Bookshop (they ship anywhere in the United States now!) as I have some amazing goodies to give away through them!

I’m also doing a Twelve Days of Kissmas giveaway that I’m tentatively planning on starting December 10th, with daily drawings. Enter once right at the start, and you’ll have twelve chances to win one of my favorite books (signed!) with coordinating little gifts! My elves and I (read, my two dear friends Kim and Lily) are going to wrap up these books and gifts SO, so pretty and ship them to you, so you’ll get a holiday present from me to you <3.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP ME?

I’m also gathering up a team of folks to help me reveal POT SHOT’s cover on all the social networks currently rotting my brain in the next few weeks! If you’d like to help me get the word out, please fill out the Google Form here to let me know!

Help a girl out!

BOOKSTORES

I’m starting to think about my book tours for POT SHOT and DOOMSDATE, my zombie apocalypse romcom that’s coming out Sept 2026, so if you’re interested in hosting me, please let me know!

SO LONG FOR NOW

Look for me when the clock strikes twelve [sometime in the next week] and you’ll be visited by three ghosts [in actuality, another newsletter] detailing your past, present, and future [all you can win]!!!

Still hot, tho.

The fact that I finished POT SHOT on deadline during all of this is nothing short of a personal miracle. How fitting, too, to be writing a book about all the ways the medical industry can impact a person’s life (for good and for bad), while the people at the local cancer hospital got to know me. It’s been a lot, and I’m so, so grateful to be on the other side of it.

SOME NEWS!

In lieu of attending Romance Con in Milwaukee which royally imploded, I’ll be participating in MEET ME ON NORTH this coming weekend, which is a book crawl where you can meet and greet 70 or so other displaced Romance Con authors, buy our books, chat, become besties, and get your books signed. Also, if you come visit my table with a copy of HANNAH TATE, BEYOND REPAIR or ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH to be signed, you’ll get a present! It’s very simple: buy a book (of mine), get a present. I’ll have enamel pins and earrings, but you’ll also receive my undying affections for supporting my girls HANNAH and ZOE. Please come say hello! I’ll be sitting at the Wauwatosa Civic Center along with my two sisters, who are incredibly charismatic, lovely people. Plus, I’ll also be wearing a dress that requires boob tape, and I feel this entitles me somewhat to your presence. The effort! The audacity! The inevitable cry of dismay I’ll utter when it’s time to pull it off!

See? Come visit me.

SOME CURRENT READS!

Okay, y’all. I’m obsessed with Ellie Palmer’s ANYWHERE WITH YOU. It is the funniest, most laugh-out-loud book I’ve read in ages. I loved Ellie’s debut FOUR WEEKENDS AND A FUNERAL, but I can tell ANYWHERE WITH YOU is lodging itself permanently into my psyche. If you need a summery, road trip read that does friends-to-lovers SO WELL that you’ll never besmirch that trope again, please. Buy a copy of Ellie’s book. You won’t regret it.

Ellie’s book is so good, it’s already sold out its first printing, so you might have to be patient while they print more to buy at your favorite bookstore, but in the meantime, you can order its e-book or a print copy from the Zon here:

Purchase Ellie's Book here!

I’m currently freaking out over ONE YELLOW EYE by Leigh Radford. It’s a serious, lit fic-leaning post-zombie-outbreak story about a virologist who’s hidden her husband, the last surviving zombie that the gov’t hasn’t killed, in their London flat while she tries desperately to find the cure for him before he’s discovered. It’s deeply science-based, which I absolutely love, while being beautiful and sad and incredibly tense.

Purchase ONE YELLOW EYE!

Other recent reads and discoveries!

Denise Williams’s JUST OUR LUCK is SO CUTE, folks! I love Denise’s voice, and this one hooked me! Here’s the blurb:

A lottery ticket + donuts = love in this steamy new fake dating romance from beloved author Denise Williams.

Sybil Sweet has always been lucky, but lately she can’t catch a break. After years of bouncing from job to job in search of something that feels right and from man to man in search of something special, Sybil is worried that she’s the directionless, floundering daughter her family thinks she is. All she really wants now is a little financial stability and carb comfort. Lucky for her, she’s got just enough in the bank to buy a lottery ticket, and the late-night donut store is open.

Kieran Anderson put his dreams of becoming a doctor on hold to take over running his family’s bakery, and after fighting a losing battle to save the place, he’s exhausted, broke, and no closer to getting back to school. But when a whirlwind of a woman sweeps in late one night, flirty energy gives way to more…until she runs out the next morning, leaving behind her winning lottery ticket.

Lucky for Kieran, his attempt to return the ticket looks like a grand romantic gesture and goes viral, sending sales through the roof. In an effort to keep the store afloat and to convince Sybil’s family she can make good relationship choices, they agree to fake a relationship for three months. Even with hundreds of millions of dollars, finding each other might end up being the sweetest bit of luck for both of them.

Purchase here!

Look, I’ve been a Xio Axelrod fan girl since I first picked up GIRLS WITH BAD REPUTATIONS, but if you’re in your hockey era, I can’t recommend THE WARM UP enough!! Here’s the blurb:

Subzero. That’s what folks around the league call Constantine Zimin, hockey’s best defenseman. He’s unflappable. Stoic, even. No cracks in all that ice, not until he meets Suji Meriwether. The pediatric nurse has no time for bad-boy jocks who want to use her patients as props. But as soon as she meets Zim, temperatures rise and her defenses fall.

Read The Warm-Up

Okay, have a lovely Wednesday, y’all, and I hope to see you in Milwaukee! <3

It’s not too often that I get to announce book deals in back-to-back newsletters.
Okay, it’s never happened, and there’s a good chance it never will again, either because every book deal in publishing is a miracle (seriously, nobody is safe from the rejection this industry churns out) and to get two miracles in quick succession is wild, or because I learn the hard way that trying to write two books at once is a Very Bad, No Good, Terrible Idea. We’ll see! *nervous laughter*

Last month I announced my new contemporary rom-com POT SHOT with Union Square, which I’m currently working on finishing. I sold it on proposal, which means some very nice people read the first three (!!) chapters and the synopsis and said, “here, take our money!” So now I’m writing the rest of the book, and man, there’s so much BOOK in a book, you know?

When I announced POT SHOT, however, a very exciting turn of events was kicking up with the other book proposal I’d gone out on submission with—a zombie apocalypse romcom where a lonely doomsday prepper goes on a blind date with a handsome professor in a last-ditch effort to lose her virginity before a new pandemic lockdown begins only for their (horribly awkward) first date to careen into a full-blown zombie apocalypse. While my contemporary publisher declined lovingly (too wacky, they said), several new publishers were very interested, and DOOMSDATE officially headed to auction (which means people were going to fight over my book, please clap). This was VERY exciting! And vaguely terrifying, but I think all good news in publishing is a special, proprietary blend of both emotions.

Ultimately, we decided to go with Dell, and I am so happy we did. The Dell team is super excited about DOOMSDATE, and I’m so pumped to branch out into paranormal romcoms! DOOMSDATE revolves around one of my favorite tropes—SEX LESSONS! I mean, if you’re in a zombie apocalypse, and you have to hunker down every night while the living dead go feral, you’ve got a lot of hours to kill, okay? DOOMSDATE is set for Fall 2026, and POT SHOT for Summer 2026, which means the rest of my 2025 is going to be kind of nuts. I’ll live, or at the very least, rise from the dead when it’s all over.

Life is good, and I’m so grateful for these publishing miracles. My ridiculous jokes enshrined in trade paper across the country! for sale! in bookstores! Wild. I hope you’ll keep an eye out for both POT SHOT and DOOMSDATE, the two most “Laura” books I’ve written yet, which is code for my own proprietary blend of bonkers, sexy, heartwarming love.

Events

Your girl is BUSY. Please come say hello if you’re heading to any of these events!

• Indie Bookstore Day, April 26th, 12-1 pm, book signing at Main Street Books, Wayne, PA

• Bucks County Book Fest, May 3rd, Women Who Write panel

• Ava Rani’s launch party for THE CHARMER at Kiss and Tale Bookshop, Collingswood, NJ, May 17th or 18th at 4:30 pm (you should really double check anything I claim to be true)

• Queers & Quills Book Festival, Portland, Oregon, May 23-24th

• Greater Pittsburgh Library Books Festival, May 30-31st, Pittsburgh, PA

• B&N Hamilton, Book Club, June 11th at 7 pm

• B&N Philly, Pridefest, June 21st

• RomanceCon, Milwaukee, WI, September 3-5? Sorry, clearly running out of steam here.

Recommendations

Books! I’ve been reading outside the romance genre lately, which is so, so good for my brain from time to time. I particularly adored The Ministry of Time and Blood Over Bright Haven—highly, highly recommend these titles!! Now I’m reading a book on the science of ruined attention spans. I’ll let you know if I learn anything fascinating.

If I remember to.

Also, Annabeth Albert has a new installment in her queer Mount Hope series. Book #4 features two young grandfathers-to-be united when their teenage kids knock each other up. I just love the idea of 40-something gay grandfathers-to-be! Annabeth’s books are best found on Amazon, so here’s the link if you’d like to check her out!

Annabeth Albert's books on Amazon!

Reminders

Shop at your local indie bookstore this weekend (and every weekend)!

Buy my books, HANNAH TATE, BEYOND REPAIR and ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH!

Follow me on Instagram

For new subscribers or fans of HANNAH TATE, if you’d like to read the funniest scene that got cut from HANNAH due to book length and stupid pacing concerns (fiiiiine), please check this old post for your amusement!

AND!!

If you feel so inclined, please answer my question above about what you’d prefer to do with yourself in the event of a zombie apocalypse! I feel like this question should be on every dating app’s compatibility check-list.

Have a wonderful week, lovelies!!

XO,

LPL

I never think I have seasonal affective disorder until spring starts, and then a great weight is lifted off my shoulders, and I realize what a mopey asshole I’ve been the last six months. Sorry about that!

Things have been cooking right along in my publishing world. I recently announced a new book deal with my lovely publisher Union Square and Co that I’m RIDICULOUSLY excited to write.

POT SHOT is everything I love about stoner comedy and romance, rolled up together in a nice, fat—book. :) It’s also deeply personal as I have Crohn’s disease, and at different times in my life, I’ve depended on cannabis to help me through the debilitating pain and let’s be honest, to laugh my ass off. When I first conceived of this book idea, a friend mentioned that marijuana has always been considered the “Third Rail” in romance—simply put, don’t go there. Well, I went there, and I’m so excited at the early raving response from folks who are excited to read about a chronically ill woman who gets high and finds a really hot doctor to fight with before falling in love. Imagine if Devi from Never Have I Ever abruptly exited her prestigious academic track due to illness and becomes a reclusive stoner determined to open her own dispensary only to duke it out in a Parks-and-Recreation-style community war against Dr. Ben Gross who’s back in town and ready to make her life hell—that’s POT SHOT for you. Broad City meets Parks and Recreation meets Crohn’s disease. It’s a great time, I promise, and it’s tentatively scheduled to release May 2026.

ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH has also been out in the world for two months, and let me tell you, my love language is people making hilarious memes and art based on my books. Here’s a few particular favorites:

Heart eyes forever! If you haven’t picked up a copy, please remedy that post haste. Let me tell you, it’s hard out here to sell a queer book that released the DAY after inauguration, and in this economy?? Whew. Also, the book begins in March (almost all my books begin in March, I don’t know WHY), so it’s the perfect time to pick it up!

I’ve also got some events coming up that maybe I’ll see you at? I hope so!

APRIL: Apollycon, Baltimore, MD

MAY: Bucks County Book Fest, PA

MAY: Queers & Quills, Portland, OR

MAY: Greater Pittsburgh Festival of Books, PA

JUNE: American Library Association Conference, Philadelphia, PA

SEPTEMBER: Romance Con, Milwaukee, WI

Books you should check out!

Tanvier’s got a new book in the Chance at Love series! Folks, this is a s p i c y frenemies-to-lovers romance with lots of banter, tension, and swoon! If you haven’t read a Tanvier book yet, now’s your chance, people. Pick up a copy here:

Purchase

Y’all, I had a chance to read this one early to blurb it, and it’s super hot AND made me laugh out loud—pretty much my ultimate catnip! Here’s my blurb for it: "Lush, cozy, sweet, and incredibly sexy—Lavine's debut is like a mug of decadent hot chocolate that you've developed feelings for."—Laura Piper Lee, Author of Hannah Tate, Beyond Repair and Zoe Brennan, First Crush

Purchase-Out April 1st!

That’s all for now, folks, but stay tuned! I may have more news soon. :D

xoxo,
Laura

This is a big-ass deal. First of all, my publisher Union Square did not put HANNAH TATE on sale EVER, until a few weeks ago. But ZOE? They’re throwing this babe out into the wild for a mere $2.99 three weeks after publication! This is clearly some bid to get word out about ZOE fast and furious, so it would be lovely if you all could go buy a copy, leave reviews on all your favorite sites, and tell all your friends about it! I’d really like to keep publishing books, but that does sadly require the ones I’ve already published to sell copies first. Maybe you could help?

*insert angelic smile*

ZOE has had some tremendous press recently, too! It was featured on Oprah Daily, y’all! Read the article here.

That’s my book, y’all!! Does this mean I can say Oprah endorsed my book???

The response to ZOE BRENNAN has been overwhelmingly positive. So, so many people have reached out to tell me how warm and affirming it was and how safe and loved they felt while reading it during such a scary time in our country. I’m really glad ZOE BRENNAN can provide that sort of comfort. That’s what authors are telling ourselves over and over—that even when the world outside is terrible and frightening and half the country is either happy about it or couldn’t care less, that our silly little stories still matter. And that actually, stories where queer folks get happily ever afters aren’t little or silly at all. Not now, not ever.

It’s all smiling through pain, releasing a book about queer love in the middle of this hurricane of hate. Trying to hold on to my own slice of happiness and pride when the dominant political strategy is to strip that away through fear and bullying. And unfortunately, I’ve been smiling through a lot of literal pain, too. I’m experiencing a bad flare of Crohn’s disease and have been since January started. I’ve been in remission for years with the occasional flare-up, but nothing that’s lasted this long. Crohn’s is a deeply embarrassing, shame-inducing disease. It strips you of your confidence in profound and lasting ways. When you do not know when the next debilitating, agonizing attack will hit, it makes you question everything—should I go out tonight? Should I risk driving thirty minutes to the event? Should I get on a plane? Should I go to a three-day romance festival where I’m expected to be on panels in rooms full of hundreds of people, and then sit at a table with a line of people waiting so patiently for me to sign books?

That’s a lot of pressure on someone who’s trying desperately not to shit their pants.

On a related note, my new project is about a woman struggling with Crohn’s disease and how it’s impacted her life—from where she chose to go college, to where she works, to how she avoids dating like the plague. Here’s a little excerpt from the first scene, first draft:

Contrary to what my friends think, I don’t try not to date? It comes very naturally. When I was younger and in prime romance years, I was too sick to care. Now that my Crohn’s disease is technically in “remission,” which means I only get sick once or twice a month instead of constant misery, I still don’t care. Dating is hard, stressful, and involves way too many restaurants and public bathrooms.

More news on that project hopefully soon. To say it’s near and dear to my heart would be an understatement, and I look forward to exposing all my deep and at times, maudlin, but always irreverent thoughts about life with a diarrhea disesase to you.

On a second extremely related note, I’ll be at the amazing Love Y’all Romance Book Fest this weekend. I had such a wonderful time last year—I’d say I can’t wait to go back, but to be real, I’m more than a little terrified of how I’ll weather all those nerve-wracking panels and events and very specific times I have to be places, preferably not clutching my stomach in agony. If you’re also going and see me run off stage, well. Now you’ll know why. Send me all your chillest colon vibes!

Here’s a very busy graphic with all my events this weekend—please come find me and say hello if you’re going! I’ll doing super cute giveaways at my signing table, too.

Thank you so much for subscribing to my newsletter and for supporting my books. Please pick up a copy of ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH if you haven’t yet. If you need more convincing, here—check out this excerpt from one of my favorite reviews I’ve received. I’m particularly fond of the last paragraph, lol.

Here’s to smiling through pain, which right now feels like a very powerful form of resistance indeed.

ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH releases today!! You can find it in Barnes & Noble stores across the country, as well as indie bookstores (might want to check in advance to make sure they’ve ordered it, though!), and of course, online and at your local library (hopefully)!
I’ve been getting rave reviews about ZOE, and I’m pretty sure it’s because it’s:

• incredibly horny,

• filled to the BRIM with yearning,

• while remaining quite funny!

  If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, please BUY (no longer preorder!!) a copy or request it from your local library!! It’s pretty easy to do if you use the Libby app!

  Buy ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH

  If you buy it from Doylestown Bookshop, they ship to everywhere, and if you do it before this Saturday, I’ll sign and personalize your copy of it, too! You’ll probably also get hot character art and stickers!
  

  I’ve had such an amazing launch experience for ZOE already. This past weekend, I got to celebrate its launch alongside one of my absolute favorite authors, Alexandra Vasti! Our second books both come out today, both have “crush” in the title, and thus, the Crush Tour concept was born!! We’re also very cute, and it’s somewhat probable you may develop a crush on us.

  

  It’s only natural.
  

  Alex’s EARL CRUSH is so good, y’all. I highly recommend you pick up a copy of both our books because swooning and giddy-hearted love will commence!
  
  Next up events wise is my Wine Tasting Smut Happy Hour at the adorable Kiss-and-Tale Bookshop in Collingswood, NJ! This event has sold out, but if you lucked out and got a ticket, I’m excited to see you there with the clever and lovely Ava Rani, the author of the steamy Biotech Billionaires series!

  

  
  Then, my official Philly launch (lol, I know, how many events can I call launch before it becomes simply farcical) at the Doylestown Bookshop is this Saturday, January 25th, and I get to chat with Rosie Danan who consistently writes hilarious and incredibly hot AND special romance books! This one has no RSVP, so please, please come and visit if you live in the greater Philadelphia area!

  

  
  After that, I’ll be doing a very cool virtual event coordinated by Blue Stoop PHL and The Head and The Hand bookshop on Feb. 6th! This will be quite hilarious because everyone else is doing readings of their beautiful, award-winning literary fiction, and ZOE begins with a bunch of blow-job jokes.
  

  Hey. They invited me, so.

Then, I have an event in Orlando, FL with Alexandra Vasti, TJ Alexander, Ambar Cordova, and Amy Buchanan at the Barnes & Noble Colonial on Feb. 8th, Love Y’all Book Fest in Decatur, GA Feb 14-16th, and mooooore! It’s gonna be a busy few months, y’all. Please come say hello!

Thank you all for your support for my books (I get to say BOOKS now!), and keep your fingers crossed that I get to publish more! I’m eagerly awaiting some good news. <3

Much love,

Laura

I didn’t mean to wait until the last minute to start promoting ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH and all the awesome events I’m doing for it, but alas, here we are, and you’re just hearing about it! ZOE releases January 21st, and let’s just say I’m behind the eight ball on this one.

First things first: my preorder campaign! Please preorder your copy of ZOE BRENNAN if you intend to buy—preorders help authors IMMENSELY! Make me look good to my publisher, and I’ll love you forever!

If you purchase your paperback copy of ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH from Doylestown Bookshop, one of my absolute favorite indie bookstores in the Greater Philadelphia area, you will receive:

• a signed, personalized copy of ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH

• stickers

• potentially character art (see above, re: procrastination)

• and the first 24 preorders will receive a cozy pair of socks and a leather heart bookmark, too!

Doylestown ships anywhere, so it doesn’t matter where you live!

Preorder from Doylestown here!

Now, I’m doing lots of awesome events to celebrate ZOE, too!

To kick off ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH’s release on January 21st, my first stop will be in New Orleans the weekend prior!!

Alexandra is one of my favorite romance authors AND people, so this night will surely be amazing! If you’re in the New Orleans area, please come see us!! You can preorder copies to be at Blue Cypress Books and RSVP at the button below:

Preorder and RSVP for Blue Cypress

My second event will be in Collingswood, NJ, just over the bridge from Philadelphia, at the amazing Kiss & Tale Bookshop! We’re doing a happy hour wine tasting and conversation! RSVPs are limited because of the small space, and you must be 21+ to drink! Please come and tie one on with us to discuss ZOE BRENNAN!

More information at: Kiss and Tale (The RSVP links aren’t up yet, but stay tuned!)

For my third event, and my official Philly launch, I’m partying down at the Doylestown Bookshop on January 25th at 3 pm with my dear friend and fellow romance author, Rosie Danan! If you preorder from the link above for Doylestown, you can pick up at the store at the event.

More information here: Doylestown Event

Here’s a handy run-down of other events I’m doing, too! If you’re in the New Orleans, Orlando, Philly, Atlanta, New Jersey, Maryland, Portland, Pittsburgh, or Milwaukee areas, please come see me!!

As if this wasn’t enough events to discuss, I will also be serving as a conversation partner for my dear friend Jenny Howe’s book launch at The Purple Couch in Andover, MA for her newest romcom How To Get a Life in Ten Dates on January 8th! The Purple Couch has managed to finagle EARLY COPIES OF ZOE that will be available for purchase at Jenny’s event a full 2 weeks prior to publication!!

For more information, please go here: Jenny Howe event

ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH is my swooniest, steamiest, and angstiest romance yet, but it’s also just as fun, funny, and heartwarming as HANNAH TATE. Also, if you’re big Hannah/River fans, their story continues in ZOE, and one of my favorite scenes ever involves an extended look at Hannah and River’s HEA in motion. <3 I hope you all buy it, love it, leave a review for it, and come to one of my events so I can give you a big hug.

Much love and romantic feelings,

Laura

HANNAH for your Kindle

HANNAH for your Nook

Listen, we Christmas’ed hard over the weekend. The house is all aglow, the stockings are hung, and I’m drinking coffee with peppermint mocha oat milk creamer right this very second propped up with peppermint swirl pillows from beneath a cozy blanket on my couch. The blanket looks like a giant tortilla, just to complete your mental picture. I love this time of year, and better yet, I’m currently not on deadline for any books! We have two projects out for consideration with publishers, so please send me good vibes for a continued career in this crazy business because I’m excited about these books, y’all. I can’t say too much about them yet, but I’ll say this: one’s set in New Jersey, and the other one an apocalyptic wasteland, and they’re both romances!

*starry eyes* I love writing.

While I wait for Santa to bring me big ass book deals, I’m getting ready for the launch of my second novel ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH! ZOE releases January 21st, so just around the corner! I’m doing some fun stuff to get ready for it, too:

Laura’s Crushing On… This is a new Instagram live series I’m doing where I interview my favorite authors and people about their first crushes. I just did my first one last night with the charming, lovely Julian Winters, and we had a blast discussing Ryan Phillippe from the 1999 glorious slut-fest Cruel Intentions. My plan is to do one live a week through ZOE’s release. My upcoming guests include: Becca Grischow (I’ll Get Back to You), Sarah Adler (Mrs. Nash’s Ashes, Happy Medium), Jeff Zentner (Colton Gentry’s Third Act, Sunrise Nights, The Serpent King, In the Wild Light), Neely Tubati-Alexander (Love Buzz, In a Not So Perfect World), Erin Connor (Unromance), Alexandra Vasti (The Halifax Hellions, Ne’er Duke Well, Earl Crush), Naina Kumar (Say You’ll Be Mine, Flirting with Disaster), Alicia Thompson (The Art of Catching Feelings, Love in the Time of Serial Killers, With Love, From Cold World), and more!!

Live Events

• January 8th: The Purple Couch, Andover, MA: I’ll be in conversation at Jenny Howe’s How to Get a Life in Ten Dates launch!

• January 18th: Blue Cypress Books, New Orleans, LA: Come join me and the lovely Alexandra Vasti as we celebrate a double-launch of our sophomore novels—Alex’s Earl Crush and my Zoe Brennan, First Crush! AKA The CRUSH TOUR!

• January 23rd: Kiss-and-Tale Books, Haddonfield, NJ: Come celebrate at my Philly launch for ZOE BRENNAN!

• January 25th: Doylestown Bookshop, Doylestown, PA: Come hang out with me and Rosie Danan (The Roommate, The Intimacy Experiment, Do Your Worst, Fan Service) to celebrate the launch of ZOE BRENNAN!

• February 8th: Barnes & Noble, Orlando, FL: Join me for a great romance panel with Alexandra Vasti, TJ Alexander, Cat Sebastian, Ambar Cordova, and more!

• February 14-16th: Love Y’all Fest, Decatur, GA: The first Love Y’all was SO FUN, I cannot wait to go back!

• February 18th: Cupboardmaker Books, Harrisburg, PA: Come celebrate the launch of NEVER PLANNED ON YOU by Lindsay Hameroff—I’ll be there to converse and gush!

The events go on, y’all, but I’m tired. Suffice to say, I’ll also be visiting more spots in New Jersey, Apollycon, Queers & Quills in Portland, Pittsburgh, and Milwaukee in the months that follow!

If you’re in the mood to preorder ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH right this minute, and you want to get a signed, personalized copy with preorder goodies, please preorder from Doylestown Bookshop—they ship!!

Preorder ZOE from Doylestown!

Now, for what I’ve been reading:

The Not-Out-Yet-But-You-Should-Preorder:

Unromance by Erin Connor: Y’all. This is damn near a perfect romcom, and it’s so-so hot. It comes out in January as well, and you will WANT to read this book. The characters are cool and funny, it’s meta about romance in a really satisfying way, and the sexual vibes this book gives off are top notch. It’s a perfect winter read!

Any Trope But You by Victoria Lavine: This book is very funny, very wintery, very hot. If you love the humor in HANNAH TATE, there’s a good chance you will gobble this one right up. Features an epic-hot mountain man, a remote Alaskan retreat, and a struggling romance author.

Earl Crush by Alexandra Vasti: Ok, from the repeated references to Alex in this newsletter, you might have gathered that I’m a wee bit obsessed with Ms. Vasti. I am reading Earl Crush right now, and it is so, so fun so far—the banter and hijinks are top notch, as is the pacing. I truly can’t wait to see these two kiss. Preorder a copy and come see Alex and I at one of our Crush Tour events!

Never Planned on You by Lindsay Hameroff: Lindsay is one funny lady, and this book is no exception! She had me cackling and inspired to draw a unipig. The romance is adorable, too. Can’t wait to gush about this one with Lindsay at her launch in February!

The-Out-Books

Voyage of the Damned by Frances White: This is a murder mystery fantasy that is SO funny and vivid, I freaking love it! It features the most likable main character I’ve read in a long time—up there with Gideon from Gideon the Ninth for me, and y’all know how I feel about Gideon the Ninth (right? Well I adore it!)

One on One by Jamie Harrow: This book is set in a fictionalized version of Villanova, which is pretty close by to Philly! This book was so well done and interesting and smart. I really loved the main character’s job as a videographer that makes hype videos for the college basketball team in particular—so well described and vivid. The romance is swoony, the vibes all fantastic.

What’s Influencing Laura Lately:

Skincare: I’ve become morbidly fascinated with this Clean it Zero Brightening Peeling Gel by Banila Co. You put it on, and it immediately starts pilling on your skin as you rub it in. It’s not the product, though, y’all. IT’S YOUR DEAD SKIN COMING OFF!

I love it.

Comfy Ass Wireless Bra: During the pandemic, I gave up on wired bras forever. Never looking back, baby! This is my favorite one at the moment—I have 3 of them and wear them all the time. Love it!

Plastic Surgery Videos: I don’t know how, but I fell down a rabbit hole of watching people recovering from intense face lifts on TikTok. Like these people look like patched up serial killers wearing other people’s skin immediately after, and some are still recovering 6 months later! I always wonder—how is this person living their everyday life looking like this? Do they not work normal jobs where the expectation is they won’t frighten people?? The stuff surgeons can do these days is wild, and it’s even wilder that people sign up for this. I have trust issues—how are these people letting surgeons saw their faces off to stitch them back on?? I have questions!!

Okay, I’ve got to walk Mr. Peanut Butter now, but if you’ve got good ideas for Christmas gifts, leave them in the comments! The best one I’ve thought of lately? A portable bidet for the pampered asses in your life.

XoXo,
Laura

The Long Version

If we’re close (and by close, I am including the Internet at large, Target cashiers, and general passers-by), then you probably heard me bemoaning how writing and revising ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH took years off my life. It’s not the story’s fault—I love Zoe! I love her mean butch vintner Laine! Their chemistry is truly palpable, and I never struggled with that for one moment!

It was Everything Else. ZOE’s first draft was due to my publisher a few months before HANNAH TATE, BEYOND REPAIR came out, and I was so wonderfully, terribly distracted by going through the tempest that is Debut Year that it made it hard to get off the Internet and write my second book. The deadlines only came faster and with more demands after that first draft—major revisions, major word count cuts, just major everything—all while HANNAH debuted. But I was busy! Busy basking in the glow of actual fans of my writing, and busy melting down when reviews trashed HANNAH for having a baby, for breastfeeding on page, and for having too much focus on her motherhood-coming-of-age story (had my publisher allowed HANNAH to be 30% longer as the gods intended, you’d have had it all, people! Word counts are mean.)

Let me tell you, it’s hard writing a book. It’s even harder to write one when reviews, both good and bad, are pouring in. Jenny Howe, a good friend and one of my favorite rom-com authors (buy her books here), warned me about this—she told me that the good reviews get in your head just as much as the bad ones do. But I didn’t understand that! How could compliments ever hurt me?

They did. As I wrote and revised ZOE, there was a constant refrain in my head, repeating tidbits from all my reviews, and holding up a mirror to the words I was trying so desperately to write and asking over and over again: are these enough? Was ZOE as funny as HANNAH was? Did I have enough romance? Were the side characters as lovable as Big Daddy and Kira and Mattie? Did ZOE have as much heart?

This does not make for an optimal drafting and revising experience. But with much lamenting and wringing of hands, late nights, early mornings, and weekends holed up at the Highlights Foundation (a writing retreat center for authors), I gave ZOE a fond farewell as I yeeted it to my publisher for good in June.

Little did I know I’d have like, two more rounds of revision to do after that point.

But, regardless, I did finally finish it. I was so close to it, though, and had been for so long, that it was really hard to know how I felt about it. I was so proud of HANNAH, but anytime I thought about ZOE, it felt like touching a bruise—tender and painful. It’s a real mind fuck when you finally achieve your dream of getting a toe into publishing books, and then feel like you don’t have enough time to give a manuscript all the love and attention you want to make it match the story in your heart. As all authors know, any book could be your last shot at Making It in Publishing—we never know when we’ll get grace for a lackluster book or its lackluster performance, or when we’ll be written off for good. It’s scary, and yet MORE fuel to feed your imposter syndrome. The mental resilience this career profession endeavor requires never ceases to amaze me. And at the end of the day, I was really afraid that ZOE, which is a very different book from HANNAH in many ways, wouldn’t be enough. That all the love and effort I wrung out from my exhausted, anxious heart wouldn’t be enough.

Maybe it isn’t. Maybe it won’t be.

BUT WHO THE HELL CARES BECAUSE BABY GOT HER FIRST STARRED TRADE REVIEW!!

SAVOR IT, BABY! DO IT!!!
I was absolutely FLOORED to get a starred review for ZOE from Publisher’s Weekly!! And as if that wasn’t amazing enough, Kirkus and Library Journal went and sang ZOE’s praises, too!

My favorite part from the Kirkus review is that they lauded me for the “intense longing and creative sex scenes.” You heard it here first, y’all.

Also my love language is telling me that I’m funny.

Then, Library Journal states that ZOE “has everything readers could ask for: EXCELLENT WRITING!!!!! [exclamation points added]”

Ok, they say some other great stuff, but that was my favorite part. :)

So, maybe ZOE won’t sell a gazillion copies or get me any real recognition. Maybe it’ll be my last shot at publishing books. [Though I don’t really think so, I have a project that’s about to go on submission that I’m INSANELY excited about.] But at least I have these lovely reviews, and a STAR!! to comfort me in the months to come, when at least 70 Gen Z reviewers will lambaste ZOE for being “millennial cringe,” lol.

I am what I am, friends.

If you haven’t already, please!!! Enter the Goodreads Giveaway for ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH! It’ll make me look good to my publisher, which we all know is why I do just about everything these days. Deadline to enter is November 15th, so get to it, people!

Goodreads Giveaway!

And if you REALLY want to show up for me and ZOE, please preorder from one of my favorite indies!

Doylestown Bookshop (ships)

Eagle Eye Books (ships)

Capricorn Books (store pick up only)

Upcoming Events

I’m going to be at Pages and Parchment, an adorable indie bookstore in Skippack, PA, on November 21st for a Girls Night Out event. There will be drinks, snacks, and me, and that’s all I know so far! :) Please join us, it’ll be a great time!

Now, for things that have been Influencing Laura:

Expensive Skincare That Makes Big Promises: I’ve gotten super into skincare ever since I turned 40 and sold a book, then realized I’d have to actually *see* people again at events and things. I just got sold recently on Oneskin eye cream and face cream by one of my favorite over 40 make-up artists, @Teganricemakeup on TikTok. They’ve got some crazy sounding “science” to back up their expensive products, something about reversing cell death maybe? IDK. I DO know that based on my puffy ass eye sockets, cells are definitely dying, so I thought I’d give it a try. Too soon to tell on whether it’ll reverse the aging process (lol), but it is extremely moisturizing and doesn’t bother my skin at all. Oneskin

A Jumpsuit To Call Your Own: Anyone who’s seen me in the last two years will know that I’m in my jumpsuit era, peeing difficulties bedamned. I just got this denim jumpsuit, and it is soooo incredibly flattering and stretchy and comfortable, even for long torso’ed folks like me! LOVE! Aerie Jumpsuit

Show that Will Likely Terrify Me and Make Me Cry: I’m gearing up to watch SAY NOTHING, which is sure to be an emotionally charged roller coaster of a show based on the nonfiction book of the same name. Maybe watching a show dedicated to a deeply divided country that spirals into decades of violence ISN’T the best idea right now? Maybe? Whatever, I want to watch it—episodes drop Nov. 14th. The book’s been on my TBR since it came out, so this is how I’ll atone. Say Nothing

Books I’ve been Reading and LOVED!

• Love and Other Conspiracies by Mallory Marlowe. (contemporary romance) Y’ALL. This book is SO KIND! It was so refreshing and fun and funny. LOVED it!

• Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell. (horror?-fantasy-love story). This book is so insanely clever, and it features the most interesting monster I’ve ever read about. I’m not quite done listening to it, but I am riveted.

• Take Me Home by Melanie Sweeney. (contemporary romance). This book is incredibly well written. It’s funny, it’s hot, it made me cry real tears as the characters experienced growth on their journeys. It’s perhaps the best romance I’ve ever read where the characters are dealing with really intense family issues. So well done. I loved it!!

• Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend by MJ Wassmer. (contemporary fiction). This book was very funny, dry, and a fantastic satire of what our apocalypse would really look like in today’s society in all its fucked up glory. VERY fun, and the audiobook performance is fantastic.

• The Love of My Afterlife by Kristy Greenwood. (romantic comedy with afterlife stuff—is that contemporary, lol?) This book is British humor at its finest. Like a modern day Bridget Jones in many ways, and so, so funny. OMG, when she recites the poem aloud?? The audiobook is hilarious, I HIGHLY recommend if you want a laugh. No real steam, but it doesn’t need it, either.

Okay, that’s it. I love you all!!

Subscribe now

I recently had the sublime experience of seeing Stevie Wonder live. Not only is the guy a certified music genius, he also made me feel that, for those two and a half hours, he actually loved every person in that arena, including me. We were in conversation. We were all in love. He said as much several times, and the wildest thing was, I believed him.

No, I was not stoned. I don’t think. We did have a babysitter, so it would be totally okay if I was.

Anyways. I hope you all feel the love pouring from me to you right now, Stevie Wonder style. The fact is, writing and publishing fills me with so much love and joy and appreciation for all the kindred spirits finding my books out there, finding me, sharing so much of my inner thoughts and jokes and feelings that I totally get what Stevie was saying. I’m putting out love into the world, and I love how it connects us together, people who would otherwise probably never have met. Why, yes, I am an Aquarius Sun with Gemini Moon, why do you ask?

If you’re ever thinking of reaching out to say hi on Instagram, or leaving me a comment here, please do. I sincerely love connecting with all of you.

*clears throat*

Now for the business part of this post: Big news, folks!! My wonderful publisher Union Square and Co is doing a giveaway of several copies of my sophomore novel ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH over on GoodReads! All you have to do is click enter, and you’ll be thrown into the pool of folks vying for a copy. The giveaway entry period is from now through November 15th, so please enter! Seriously, it will make me look cool to my publisher, you guys. I need the numbers!

Enter Giveaway!

ZOE BRENNAN is a standalone novel set in the Blue Ridge world, but HANNAH TATE lovers will be most pleased at all the appearances from the old gang in the story. Hannah, River, Bowie, Killian, Kira, Mattie, Big Daddy/Darryl, G-ma/Trish, Teddy, Diego, Maeve, and Gloria all make appearances, along with a new set of fun, crazy characters, too. Let me just say, there is some PRIMO Hannah/River content in ZOE, as well. Zoe’s book, in many ways, is much more of a true-blue romance than HANNAH is. While I often think of HANNAH as being the love story of how a whole family comes together, Zoe’s story is much more centered on her absolute idol from growing up, Laine Woods, and what an absolute asshole Laine has unfortunately become now. If you love unrequited crush-to-lovers-to-coworkers-to-enemies-to-lovers, then you’ll love Zoe’s story. It’s full of swoons, pining, and laughs, as well as learning how to believe that good things can still happen, even if it feels like you’re destined to be alone. You can pre-order it here if you’d like to support these hot babes in love (if you pre-order here, you’ll get swag, too!):

Preorder from my local indie that ships!

I’m also teaming up with my adorable and wildly talented friend Adib Khorram, author of Darius the Great is Not Okay, The Breakup Lists, and recently, I’ll Have What He’s Having, to do a joint giveaway on Instagram! We’re giving away a signed ARC of ZOE BRENNAN, FIRST CRUSH and a signed copy of I’LL HAVE WHAT HE’S HAVING, as well as fun swag and stickers, so if you like adult romcoms featuring queer people who love each other and wine, please head over to our Instagrams @laurapiperlee and @adibkhorram to enter!

EVENTS!!

If you’re in the greater Philadelphia area, I have two very exciting events coming up! Tomorrow, October 22, 2024, at 12 pm, I will be speaking with several other amazing authors at the Kelly’s Writers House at University of Pennsylvania. Registration is free, and it includes lunch!! Can you believe that? Free food?? Please join if you can!

Come to Kelly's Writers House

Then, on November 9th, Inkwood Books in Haddonfield, NJ is hosting an authors-after-hours event with several bad ass romance authors to do signings and hang out! It’s going to be an amazing time, so if you’re in the greater Philly area, please come hang out with us then, too!

Lastly, things I’ve been influenced by lately:

Stila All Day Liquid Lipstick—did you know AOC’s trademark red lips are the color Beso in this lipstick? It’s a great shade. I blame Rachel Lynn Solomon for influencing me to buy three of these babies.

Slewfoot by Brom—I keep hearing about this book EVERYWHERE I GO. I’m grudgingly adding it to my insane TBR. There is a legit cult forming around this book, y’all. Have you read it? If so, tell me about it in the comments. Can I read it at night, or is too scary?

The most comfortable pants of all time—These pants are so flattering and SO silky soft. They’re weirdly forgiving, too. I can fit into three different sizes of them right now, and somehow, they all look good? Side note: I now own three pairs. I’m hooked.

Hope to see you all at some of my events soon, and please enter all the giveawaysssss!!!

With love, Stevie style,

Laura

It’s only received a handful of reviews so far, but feedback has been good! Apparently the blindfolded threesome is a big draw, who knew? :D I’ve also received some amazing blurbs, including one from one of my favorite authors Ashley Herring Blake, which I’ll share at some point soon! Please request, read, and leave a review for ZOE and help me get the word out, will ya? If you’re on GoodReads, please add to your Want-To-Read shelf, too.

Add to your GoodReads

I met a large number of you at Romance Con a few weekends ago in lovely Milwaukee, Wisconsin—what an absolute honor and a blast that was!! Thank you so much for stopping by my signing table to get your copies of HANNAH signed, play the 2024 Debut Dash, and to tell me how hilarious I was at the Putting the Com in Rom-Com panel (telling me I’m funny is my love language, my cup overfloweth). Seriously, you helped form some core joy memories for me. [notice how I’m dressed up as Hannah Tate below??]

The lucky winner of the 2024 Debut Dash is our new pal Madeline, pictured here with the tall stack of books and ARCs she won! Madeline, we hope you enjoy!!

And for those of you who signed up after watching the Rom-Com panel, I made you a promise. Hell, I’ve made the older subscribers the same promise—that I would share my favorite scene from HANNAH TATE that was controversially deleted for silly pacing reasons, pfft. Well, I’m finally ready to pony up.

<gulps>

Some context for those of you haven’t read HANNAH, or read it long enough ago that you don’t remember every detail (how dare you!!):

In this scene, we find our lovable messy single mom Hannah Tate hard at work getting the new Airbnb renovated to help her hapless, country parents (a.k.a. Mama and Darryl, a.k.a. G-ma and Big Daddy ((look, that’s what Darryl wants to go by instead of grandaddy or pop or whatever, and it’s a joke intended to make you cringe, sorry not sorry, ok a little sorry, it seems to really bug some folks)). If Hannah can’t get their nightmare cabin fixed up and ready to rent soon, they’ll all go broke, so poor Hannah’s working around the clock. She’s also still breastfeeding her sweet little baby Bowie, and the hard work catches up to her, okay? Her mom is a retired nurse who suffers no bullshit when it comes to illness, which you’ll soon witness for yourselves.

Without further ado… behold: the Lost Chapter 14… a.k.a. the hallucinating vibrator scene, a.k.a. the mama-trauma scene, a.k.a. my opus…

“Baby, you need to slow down,” Mama says, handing me a full glass of water which I gulp down eagerly.

“Can’t stop, won’t stop,” I pant out after slamming the empty glass down. It’s a hot September day, the Georgia summer still raging on. I’m feeling woozy as hell, but The Honey Jar’s soft opening is in two days.

Everything must be perfect.

Mama frowns and crosses his arms. “Did you see that flyer I left out for you this morning? The one about the class starting up in a few weeks?”

“That Small Business Owners 101 thing?” I climb the stepladder and start marking where I’m going to screw in the curtain brackets. “Hand me that level, would you?”

Mama hands it up to me. “Well? Are you going to sign up for it?”

“Why would I?”

“Because, baby, we are small business owners now. Everybody knows you’re the brains of this operation. It’ll be good for you, good for the Airbnb, you’ll meet some friends. Win, win, win.”

“I don’t know, Mama.” The annoyance is evident in my tone, but I’m busy enough without taking classes at the community center. It’ll probably be taught by an old white dude to a bunch of other old white dudes, and the mansplaining will be real. I shudder. “Probably won’t be here long enough to finish it.”

“Just think about it.”

“Fine.” I won’t. I’ve got enough to think about right now. I have the feeling that I’ll be pulling early mornings into late nights up until the moment Kira, Mattie, and June arrive as our first official guests. Mama, Darryl, and I all agreed it’d only be right to replace the horror of that first weekend here by pampering Kira to the gills.

Plus her therapist strongly suggested it, so.

The problem is, it’s already been a whole week of early mornings into late nights, and I am bone tired. After the almost—whatever that was with River—the only relief I’ve had has come from working on The Honey Jar. Between taking care of Bowie and getting the Airbnb all set up, I’ve had time for little else. This part’s all on me, too. The crew’s finished and all paid up, though they’ve each stopped by here and there to see my progress. I get the impression that that’s just how it is now. Martha stops at the cabin on her morning hikes for coffee. Booch swings by after picking up his two cute kids from school. Bella and Edward, five and seven respectively and blissfully unaware of their namesakes, play on the big tire swing Booch hung for us while he drinks Mountain Dew on the dock with Darryl. Gus usually comes by after dusk, so Mama treats him to a beer and a shit-talking game of Gin Rummy.

And River, well. He’s come faithfully to every Sunday dinner, showing up in the afternoon to play with Bowie and making my ovaries scream into the abyss until the food’s ready. At the table, he’s the perfect guest, raving over Darryl’s cooking, laughing at Mama’s crazy stories, and clearing the table to wash the dishes before anyone can stop him. He usually lets me dry, though. Standing side by side, my shoulder against his triceps, he smiles down at me kindly, as a friend, and hands me the clean, wet plates, completely oblivious to how hard he’s making it to breathe.

A soft, sad smile creeps up my face as I finish screwing in the hardware for the big round mirror I’m hanging over the dresser. River’s just…

Amazing. He’s amazing.

But the embarrassment hits me like a recoil, like it always does. I feel so foolish for having these feelings for him so soon after things with Killian imploded. The mean little voice in my head loves to draw parallels between me now and Mama back then, when I was the little kid trying to remember the name of whatever man was hanging out on our porch that day. I don’t want that for Bowie, I don’t. But there’s nothing wrong with having a close family friend, right? That’s all River is, a family friend, which is pretty incredible after I freaked out and practically ran away from his tender touch.  

I try to ignore the sinking feeling in my chest and swipe a hand across my sweaty forehead, the bangs there totally drenched. God, it’s hot. The stepladder beneath me wobbles unexpectedly, and the drill tumbles from my hand as I grasp for the wall, the dresser, anything to steady myself.

The crash is loud when I hit the floor. I sit up, hissing as I rub my hand cautiously over the elbow I smashed in the fall. I don’t think I hit my head, but it’s pounding anyways. Tears smart in my eyes as the door to the Airbnb opens, and Mama looks in.

“Hannah, what happened? Did you fall?!” She rushes over to me and extends both hands to help me over to one of the soft, fluffy armchairs I splurged on by the refinished fireplace. Her frown’s so big now, it starts in her forehead. The back of her hand feels cool against my own as she inexplicably checks me for a fever.

“Mama, I fell. I didn’t suddenly develop pneumonia or something.” I push her hand away, annoyed. I have so much left to do, and she’s been trying to get me to quit every chance she gets.

 Her eyebrow quirks up, and she gives me that is that right, smart ass? look mothers everywhere have down pat.

“Who’s the registered nurse here?”

“You are,” I grumble.

“Damn right. And shows what you know, because you’re burning up. You need to get your ass in bed, young lady.” She sniffs the air and makes a face. “After you shower.”

I’d be offended, but I feel too bad to care. Am I actually sick? My body aches all over, but I just fell off a ladder. “I’m fine, Mama. Who’s gonna finish setting up for the soft opening? You?” The words come out sharper than I intend, and as bad as I feel, I still catch the look of hurt that crosses Mama’s face.

Dammit.

“Look, I’m sorry. I just—” I try to stand up, but The Honey Jar spins before my eyes.

“That’s it.” She slings my arm over her shoulders and hauls me to the stairs. “You’re coming with me.”

After a shower and some ibuprofen, I feel so much better, but Mama refuses to listen and forbids me from the Airbnb. With a scowl, I ease into my favorite velveteen rocker, now tucked between the tree-filled windows in my room, and pop out a boob. Damn, everything hurts, right down to the nipples. I only fell a few steps, but I feel like I got hit by a truck. Bowie’s hungry and nurses with a vengeance, making me wince and clench my teeth. He’s no piranha, but he may be one of those sucky eel things with a ring of teeth.

“A lamprey,” I announce to no one, which makes Mama check my temperature again. Once Bowie’s done terrorizing my milk ducts, Mama takes him from my arms and ferries him off to Darryl to watch golf, or as Darryl likes to call it, educational programming. I don’t even protest. A nap does sound good to me right now, and golf’s better than WWE. She returns an instant later and lugs me into bed.

“Lay it on me. What needs doing?” Mama crosses her arms, hovering over me with a grim set to her mouth. The image is… terrifying.

“Damn, Mama. Is this why they called you Nurse Hatchet?”

Her eyes narrow. “Nobody called me that.”

I pull the covers up to my chin and giggle. It sounds a bit unhinged.

Mama tuts. “Something’s wrong with you, that’s for damn sure. Just tell me what to do.” Judging by the pissy tilt of her eyebrows, I better rein it in.

“The new towels need to be washed, and the curtains ironed, but be careful not to burn them because I won’t have time to sew another set.” She lets me drone on for another few minutes before forcibly tucking me in and turning out the lights.

“I’m fine, Nurse Hatchet. You’ll see…” I mumble, sleepier than I expected. The last thing I hear is her exasperated sigh and the sound of the door gently closing.

#

The pain wrenches me awake.

Surging, burning pain.

I cry out, utterly bewildered. What is happening to me? Hot agony webs across my chest in time with my heartbeat, like someone’s injected thick, gelatinous bleach straight into my veins. It’s dark, and I fumble for the lamp. When I roll onto my side, I scream. I can’t help it. A hot poker spears through my left breast, which feels as heavy as a bowling ball. It’s scorching to the touch, the skin stretched tight over the swollen mass. Even the gentle brush of my nursing tank against it makes me whimper.

Startled from his own sleep, Bowie starts to wail.

“I’m sorry, Littleman! I’m—” I struggle to reach for him, but a wave of pain crashes through me again, almost making me retch.

Mama comes busting through the door like the Kool-Aid Man, Darryl right behind her. The switch flips, and the room floods with light. Mama takes one look at me where I’m half-crouching, half-staggering against Bowie’s crib, cradling my supernova of a breast, and transforms into the Surgeon General herself.

“Big Daddy, see to your grandson! Hannah baby, sit down before you fall down. You’re sick as a dog.” She claps her hands together like thunder. “Now, people!”

The room is chaos spinning around me. A minute later, Mama’s thrusting more ibuprofen down my throat along with what feels like a gallon of water. The angry beeps are the only way I know she’s shoved a thermometer in my mouth.

“Goddammit. 104 degrees.” Her face screws up as she checks me over. “All right, baby. Let go of that breast. I need to check it out.”

“Noooo,” the moan rises from my throat. My left arm’s locked in place beneath it, supporting the weight. If I move it at all, I’m going to pass out.

“The ibuprofen should be hitting soon. I gave you enough to remove your wisdom teeth. Now let me at that titty, girl!”

“Good God almighty,” Big Daddy swears as he paces the room, holding Bowie and jiggling him up and down. Because that’s what makes a sleepy, angry baby better. Jiggling. 

Tears stream down my cheeks as Mama gently probes my breast from all sides. It looks like it’s been slapped, like angry red fingers stark against the white flesh. It doesn’t take long for her to find, and me to feel, the hot lump of agony one inch east of the nipple.

“Motherfucker!” I screech and try to jerk away.

“Mastitis,” Mama growls. “Motherfucker is right. Big Daddy!” She barks over her shoulder. “Get on the Google now. Search Mastitis home remedies!”

“Mast-what-is?” Big Daddy stops his pacing dead, his usually jolly face twisted in pure manly horror. I don’t know who’s more upset, him or Bowie.

Mama spells it out, alternating each letter with a cuss word, until he flees from the room with Bowie to find his phone.

“Mastitis?” I pant out. The ibuprofen is hitting, downgrading the pain from scream-worthy to energetic despair mewling. “A clogged milk duct? Don’t I… need to go to the hospital for that?”

“It’s two a.m., and the nearest Emergency Room is forty minutes’ away along a bumpy-ass mountain road. You wanna see what that thing feels like bouncing?” Mama raises an eyebrow.

I shake my head vigorously.

“We’ll go first thing in the morning to get you the antibiotics you need. But first, we gotta try to clear that clog.”

“Awww, hell!” comes bellowing from the living room.

“Big Daddy,” Mama hollers again, pure warning in her voice. “Unless your tits are about to explode, I don’t wanna hear none of that!”

“But baby, there’s pictures!” The fear in his voice… I’d laugh, but since I’m the one with the exploding tit, not really an option right now. Big Daddy clears his throat and starts reading aloud from just outside the door to my room.

“STEP ONE. ICE THE TITTY,” he recites reverently like he’s reading from the gospel.

“It does not say that!” Mama snaps.

“I’m gist-ifying it baby, this list is long as hell!”

Mama groans and runs for the ice packs. We keep them on as long as I can bear it, two blue rectangles with my asshole boob smushed between like the world’s weirdest ice-cream sandwich. Mama checks the lump again, grimaces. “Okay the swelling’s down as much as it’s gonna go. Step two, Big Daddy!”

“STEP TWO. MASSAGE THE TITTY. PREFERABLY WITH—awww, hell!!”

“With what?” Mama demands.

Big Daddy audibly swallows, then seemingly gathers all his strength to read, “WITH A POWERFUL VI-BRATOR. YOU KNOW YOU’VE GOT ONE, LADIES.” The way he says vibrator, like it’s two words, vi and burrrator, cannot stop the horror swelling within me.

My eyes meet Mama’s. “No,” I breathe. “No!”

“Be right back.” Her eyes glint like the devil’s.

She reappears holding a goddamn club. One that plugs in, a real monster machine. I both respect and fear her. “Oh, Mama.” I back as far as I can against the headboard, but there’s nowhere to go. “It looks so—old! And… and used!!”

“Hold still, baby girl.” Mama approaches, flicking the on button, and wielding it towards me like a very, very upsetting taser.

Oh, shit, that thing’s made by Mitsubishi.

“No, no—aHHHHHH!!!!” It touches down like a tornado against the clog, just as violent and devastating, and oh, how I scream.

Big Daddy retreats to the porch, clutching Bowie. “The menfolk will be outside! God be with you, Hannah!”

Things have never been perfect with Mama. We’ve definitely had our issues, my teen years being particularly hard on us. But, in my thirty-one years on this planet, I never, ever thought she’d attack me with a vibrator the size of my femur bone. “Get off me, woman!” I flap at her, trying to push her off.

“It’s for—your—own—good!”

“STEP THREE!!” I scream toward the door. “Big DADDY!! GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD! I’m READY FOR STEP THREE!!”

We both jump when a finger taps the window in the darkness. Big Daddy’s there, his back turned against the glass to either give us privacy, or him safety from the horrors within, hard to say. The glass muffles his voice only slightly. “STEP THREE. DANGLE THE TITTY!”

“Dangle what? Why??” My head is cloudy from trauma, physical, emotional, all of the above…

“THE TITTY!” He calls out. “GET ON ALL FOURS, and DANGLE THE TITTY OVER THE BABY’S MOUTH.”

“Well, we’re gonna need Bowie for that!” Mama knocks on the window angrily. “Get your ass back inside!”

Big Daddy balks, but something in Mama’s face makes him come back on the double.

Luckily, poor, confused Bowie is more than game to nurse, even in this weird ass position. After all, it’s his ultimate comfort, and tonight’s been just as disorienting for him as it has been for me. At his first tentative suckle, the milk lets down like white hot sparks exiting my nipple. I cry out, but grit my teeth.

Anything’s better than being bludgeoned with Mama’s billy-club fuck-stick.

Bowie’s nursing intensifies, and so does the pain. A deep, pulling ache builds until I feel like I’m gonna scream. Then, something happens, a deep, unexpected guuuuuuuuuusssssshhhhhhh. A dam breaks inside me. Warm, sweet relief glides through my poor, beat-up breast like a waterfall. Bowie gurgles happily as all the pent-up milk floods out. His eyes instantly glaze over, milk-drunk in a stupor.

“Bowie, you did it!” I laugh and sob and laugh some more. “The clog cleared!! I felt it clear!”

“Praise Jesus!” Mama brings the crystal she wears around her neck to her lips and kisses it, and I can’t even muster an eye-roll at her weird religious dichotomy. I collapse on the bed next to my sweet baby, Bowie fast asleep before I could reclaim the bastard tit from his mouth.

“I will hold this against you forever,” I whisper darkly to the errant boob as I tuck it back in my nursing tank top. “Forever.”

I look up, and Mama’s wobbling a little on her feet. It strikes me how tired she looks, and more upsettingly, how old. The clock bleeps in faded red digital four twenty-two a.m. We’ve been at this exorcism for two and a half hours. She settles wearily in the velveteen rocker, pulling up the crocheted throw I keep there over her. The scene unexpectedly creates a new, painful lump, this one lodged in my throat.

“Mama, I’m okay now. Go back to bed.”

She waves her hand at me, too tired to say anything. She’s not gonna go back to her room no matter what I say. I reach over and turn off the lamp, a strange, drowsy peace stealing over me as I cuddle next to Bowie, sheltering him in my arms. He smiles happily in his sleep.

His mama’s here, and thank God, so is mine.

Can you believe my editor made me cut that?! Okay, my book was like, twenty-five thousand words over the limit at the time, and it is a romance where readers are expecting kissing and not traumatic family titty scenes, so I guess I get it. :) I’m very glad to share it with you all, though. <3

Thanks for joining me here at For a Good Time, Read Laura Piper Lee, and while you’re free to unsubscribe at any time, please stick around—there’ll be more giveaways, some juicy (i.e., explicit) cut scenes I’ll be sharing, and I have such profound ADHD, I forget this newsletter exists for whole seasons at a time, so it won’t be too much of a bother, I promise. :)

Until the next burst of dopamine-related motivation…

Y’ALL!

It’s hard to believe, but a little less than two years after I got my book deal (Feb 23, 2022, a day that will live in infamy), Hannah Tate, Beyond Repair will finally be Somewhere Out There.

cue wistful Fieval music (movie version, not the Linda Ronstadt/James Ingram banger)

Things have been getting very, very, VERY real around here. Hannah Tate, Beyond Repair was featured in Elle Magazine’s Best (and Most Anticipated) Romances of 2024 and received a glowing write-up! Y’all, this was not paid advertising. This journalist actually picked up my book and read it, and then chose to list it among the likes of Abby Jimenez, Emily Henry, and several of my amazing debut friends, like Etta Easton and Myah Ariel. I was floored.

Full article here: Elle

Hannah Tate, Beyond Repair has also been spotted in the wild all over the country! Even though it’s not technically releasing until this Tuesday, Feb. 13th, it’s out and about and ready for you to buy it, especially at Barnes & Noble locations across the country. My partner, son, and I went out to a Barnes & Noble near us to see this for ourselves, and lo and behold, there she was, on a table of other knock-out romances!

There she is!!! They’d already sold some copies, so there were only three left for me to sign. :D I totally got emotional.

I’ve also been on a YouTube Romance show, Reader Seeks Romance, available here, did an extremely fun live IG show No Plots Writes a RomCom with fellow debuts Jill Tew, Alexandra Vasti, and Etta Easton, and did a live, filmed interview with Jasmine Williams of Brit & Co. I have *checks notes* about two dozen more events to do between launch events, podcasts, romance book festivals, YouTube shows (they’re so many, y’all, I had NO clue), and book club meetings. I hope to catch you at some of them!

As a reminder, if you live in the Greater Philly area, please come to the launch party for Hannah Tate, Beyond Repair this Tuesday, Feb. 13th, at Kismet Cowork in Chestnut Hill, Philadelphia, PA, at 12 W Willow Grove Ave. There will be biscuits, sequins, drinks, and good times. No children allowed, which is admittedly ironic since I wrote a mom-rom-com, but Hannah would totally get it. The festivities begin leisurely at 6:30 with drinks, snacks, and romcom bingo, and the programming begins at 7. If you preordered a copy from Big Blue Marble, your copy will be at the event already waiting for you to pick-up. If you haven’t bought a copy yet, you can buy one at the launch event itself. I will be in conversation with Publishing’s Sweetheart Eric Smith, YA romcom author and literary agent with a heart of gold! RSVP here if you haven’t already: RSVP to Philly Launch

If you live in Atlanta, my launch event there is Thursday, Feb. 15th, at Eagle Eye Books in Decatur, GA. It begins at 7 pm, and you can purchase a copy of my book or a ticket here: Eagle Eye launch I will be in conversation with Kate Goldbeck, author of the hilarious and steamy You, Again, one of my favorite reads from the past year!

There’s also a March 6th event in Philly at American Grammar Bookstore where I’ll be discussing all things writing and Hannah Tate! Your girl’s gonna be very busy!

I’m SUPER excited to be a part of the inaugural Love Y’all Romance book fest, too. Here’s the schedule where I’ll be then—please come say hello!

Whew. This is a hell of an update newsletter. Last but not least, Hannah Tate, Beyond Repair has been getting love around the Internet! I also have several pieces I’ve written that will be coming out in the near future, too. Here’s a brief round-up of what’s out so far:

Nerd Daily: These Goofs Can Get It: Sexy, Funny Goofball Love Interests That Have It All, by Laura Piper Lee: I wrote this one!

Culturess: New Romance Books Being Released in February: Culturess

Brit & Co: 20 New Books for February You’re Going to Absolutely Love: Brit & Co

United by Pop: Naina Kumar Shares Her Most Anticipated 2024 Debut RomCom Books: United by Pop

Nerd Daily: Swoonworthy 2024 Romance Book Releases You Need: Nerd Daily

Okay, I think I’ve beat you over the head with every single thing going on in my writerly life. Please pick up a copy of Hannah Tate, Beyond Repair, or buy the audiobook—it’s fantastic!—and if you loved it, leave me a review! <3 Reviews really, REALLY help authors, especially on Amazon.

With love, affection, and a constant high-pitched scream,
Laura Piper Lee