Hello, I’m Laura Whateley and this is home economics, a newsletter that I hope will make you feel more confident about how you manage money and domestic life, on your own and with those you love, because it is becoming ever more important that we try to figure it out. Sign up here to get weekly ideas in your inbox.

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I keep getting “served” Instagram reels about the opportunity cost of making short-term spending decisions. A daily latte = a house deposit you have squandered is the classic, but I had one about manicures the other day and how paying to get your nails done each month can add up to thousands of pounds that you aren’t earning in your investment portfolio. A decade of sacrificing a monthly £40 visit to the salon could net you £7,710. * (and as I mention in this post probably one of the reasons men have more in stocks & shares Isas?).

These reels can be deeply annoying, but understanding the logic behind them is not a bad idea, not least because the maths is linked to inequality, which frequently shows up at home in our relationships, marriages (and divorces). I think this is an inequality that could be corrected for if more people were aware that it existed.

We hear a lot about the negative impact on our future savings of the pounds we shouldn’t have spent on takeaway coffees, but very little about the negative impact on our future savings of the pounds that we didn’t earn because we were bringing up kids or looking after parents.

Savings and investments compound if you put them in an account that pays interest or produces investment returns that beat inflation. You earn interest on interest, the more you have, the more it grows.

This is one of the reasons rich people find it easier to get richer and why any gap in earnings between a couple can prise open an even larger gap in assets or wealth over the years.

Time is extremely powerful when it comes to saving, or not being able to save, as is often the case for people who take a pay cut to have children or take on caring duties for family members or, as we are hearing more of, struggle to get a job in midlife. See Stacey Duguid’s campaign.

This magnifying effect is illustrated by some figures from the financial company interactive investor that landed in my inbox on a press release. If you were age 30, earning the average salary for a 30 year old of £39.5k, and took a career break for five years and then dropped to part time for three days a week, you’d miss out on a lot of earnings, but you would also miss out on nearly £244,000 waiting for you in a pension by the time you retired.

This is made up of £91k of contributions you would have made yourself through a workplace pension. The rest is a result of the compounding effect. Pensions compound a huge amount because you get generous tax relief on retirement savings along with investment return.

If you were a high earner at 30, on £68k, the missed pension rises to a massive £432,000.

I think in this era of people having children at an older age and sandwich caring for parents, it is more realistic that career breaks come closer to your 40s/ 50s.

If you were to step away from earning for five years at the age of 40 on an average salary for a 40 year old of £41k and then went part time you’d have £133k less in your pension (the effect is smaller because you’re closer to retirement). This rises to nearly £250k if you were earning £77k before you had a career break.

ONS stats show that it is still women who are much less likely to work full time. In the 30-39 age category, 90 per cent of men work full time but only 66 per cent of women. At age 40-49, 90 per cent of men are still working full time, but only 63 per cent of women.

It is hard enough to engage with your own pension, let alone what a partner’s pension is doing, how much is in it, how much might be in it by the time you retire. Same with investing and savings. But if you don’t go there, any difference in income between you will compound, a lot, and that might not sit right with you or your other half, especially if you earned less because you were contributing more to domestic life.

Pensions are in just one person’s name, so are savings and investments more often than not, and I think from a psychological point of view that can make people feel that it is rightfully “theirs” in its entirety, and up to them whether or not it is shared with a partner in later years, even if married (the law gives you an automatic right to pensions on your spouse’s death). This plays out in divorce, too.

There are things you can do to lessen the impact of time on one partner earning less. You can pay into your partner’s pension to even out the difference. You can open a joint savings or investment account to give you equal ownership. You can think about saving as a percentage of your income, like you might think about uneven contributions to bills.

It should, at the very least, become more common than it is to talk about how taking time out of work affects the future even more than it affects what is in the joint current account right now.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this and any ways that couples have come up with to live happily with the long-term impact of unequal incomes.

Thanks for reading!

Lx

* If you were to invest £40 a month over 10 years, a total of £5,280, you’d end up with £7,170 assuming compounding investment returns of 7.5 per cent.

Hello, I’m Laura Whateley and this is home economics, a newsletter that I hope will make you feel more confident about how you manage money and domestic life, on your own and with those you love, because it is becoming ever more important that we try to figure it out. Sign up here to get weekly ideas in your inbox.

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A few months ago my amazing Dad moved into a care home after a long stint in hospital. Not something I ever imagined would happen until we were both completely grey but here we are, he just turned 72 and I just turned 41.

Dad lives with a neurological condition that has offered us a smorgasbord of heartbreaking moments over the past decade. Last week’s was cancelling his NOW tv subscription for Sky Sports.

I used to edit a consumer letters page and call companies up on behalf of readers, often relatives of people with conditions such as dementia who had signed up for services that they were charged thousands of pounds for never using. It is different dealing with this sort of thing for your own parents, though, with the emotional backdrop of knowing that, and it takes my breath away to think about this, I will never again sit next to Dad in my parents’ living room on a chilly autumn afternoon, flicking through the paper, drinking a tea, while the rugby’s on in the background. Nor will his adoring 3 year old granddaughter.

Mum thought she had got rid of his membership linked to a debit card, but nearly £50 a month to NOW has been appearing on another credit card. She hadn’t had the headspace to figure out why, so I tried to help, while trying not to lob my laptop across the room with frustration and grief. NOW does not have a phone number and its chatbot did not understand “Dad was in hospital, NEED TO SPEAK TO REAL PERSON.”

Long story short, Dad had two accounts, in the same name but with subtly different email addresses, charged simultaneously (over £90 a month, FFS!) while he was unable to watch anything.

A lot of people, those who are unwell, those who are fine but busy, are paying hundreds of pounds a year more than they should be for subscriptions that they don’t use, and it’s not great, is it?

Andy Burnham has pledged to do more about this, bringing forward a new law. From January 2027 it should be as easy to cancel a subscription as it is to sign up to one (rather than say, sign with one click, spend 4 hours on the phone to get out of it), and companies will have to warn you before they renew.

Until then, and even once this law is in place, there are some things that are worth doing to reduce the chance you - or people you love - are paying for subscriptions you don’t want or need, which really add up (it’s estimated that households waste £1.6bn a year on unwanted subscriptions). Sometimes it’s not even about the money though is it, IT’S THE PRINCIPLE OF IT!!!!

1. Cancel a free trial the minute you sign up

   If you’re signing up just to make use of a free or discounted trial, immediately cancel or turn off auto-renew during the process of registering. Most services will still give you access until the trial comes to an end. Failing this always add a note in your calendar a day or two before the renewal date.

2. Check whether renewal is monthly, quarterly or annually

   It is crushing to discover that you signed up to a trial that goes on to charge you for an annual membership or into a contract that will not release you without penalty, and you can’t cancel for another 12 months. Writing from bitter experience.

3. Use a virtual card

   Some people swear by using a virtual debit or credit card, which gives you a temporary card number (I’ve written about virtual cards here) for free trials, cancelling the card once the trial is over so you don’t get charged.

   I am not sure if this is a good idea in every scenario, some companies would expect you to cancel a contract with them directly e.g. a gym or mobile phone network that might have a minimum term or a cancellation fee. But Reddit forum users are fans, so don’t just take it from me?

4. Check you’re not doubling up

   I bet lots of families and couples end up both having subscriptions to the same services and are paying more as a household than they need to, especially to things like Deliveroo Plus or Amazon. Lots of companies have cheaper family plans (Amazon Prime can be shared with another adult. You can also add on Deliveroo Plus), Netflix, Spotify, Apple + all let more than one person be on the same account.

5. Pause for a bit

   Rather than cancel outright you can often pause a subscription for a few months, I’ve done this for things like skincare and razors from companies that assume I pamper myself/ shave my legs far more frequently than is realistic, surely?!

6. Cancel and you’ll probably get a discount

   This is a bit of a punt if you really love a service, but if you threaten to cancel you might be offered money off to stay. This is especially the case with newspaper subscriptions, I find, which I’m reluctant to say as someone who believes in paying for journalism, but I’ve got lots more subscriptions than I can really afford. I have been offered huge discounts by the New York Times, The i and The Telegraph, for e.g.

7. Use an app to track

   Lots of banks that have apps to categorise spending will help you spot recurrent payments, or there are specific apps such as Emma and Snoop which have features to flag forgotten subscriptions.

8. And the same bank account to pay

   If you’ve got subscriptions on different debit cards/ credit cards, especially if you’re a couple, it can be harder to track who is paying for what where, or identify if you’re doubling up. There can be good budgeting reasons for using different cards or bank accounts for different types of subscriptions, but streamlining as much as possible will take some work out of staying on top of outgoings.

9. Use a specific email address and inbox for subscriptions

   Same applies with email addresses. You could even set up a specific email address for your subscriptions so all the admin is in one inbox.

10. Jump around with your TV subs

    As I found with Dad’s NOW subscription, streaming services are responsible for a lot of wasted monthly payments especially because you probably have several poised just in case a great series comes out. I recommend the website JustWatch to find the cheapest place to stream what you actually fancy watching. You can then subscribe to one service at a time or take advantage of free trials. Incentivised to binge!

Good luck with the chatbots.

Thanks for reading!

Lx

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I decided to write my last post about why you should consider investing in the stock market because there is still a tendency to think it is for rich, financey or manosphere-adjacent types, which puts “normal” people off reading or thinking about it. As usual, I speak from experience, here.

There’s an increasing amount of noise around how we should all be investing, some of it helpful, a lot of it overwhelming. But trying to decipher the jargon and who is urging you to do what and why (how are they making money out of you?) is part of getting better at navigating your household finances.

Should you open a stocks and shares Isa? The rule of thumb is that if you have enough surplus money each month to save for goals that are at least five or so years away, (not a given, obvs), then you should at least consider the best way to get a bit more return on those savings over time. If you keep all your money in a cash Isa/ under the bed inflation will chip away at it and you will lose rather than gain over time.

The next question is usually, ok but where to begin? Both what to invest in, but before that, where to open an investment account and/ or a stocks and shares Isa to buy those investments.

This should be a simple first step but with so many options it is easy to be paralysed by indecision.

Here are my thoughts on what to consider, whether you’re new to this, or wondering whether the investment account you’ve already chosen is right for you:

What is an investment account?

If you want to buy, sell and trade assets like stocks and shares yourself, or, less risky, an investment fund (where you are buying a stake in lots of different companies, a global tracker fund is often recommended as an easy entry point), you’ll need to open an account with an investment company or “platform”. These platforms may also be called awful names like fund supermarkets, roboadvisers, neo-brokers, or trading apps. Normal high street banks let you invest, too, and online banks like Monzo.

Examples you may have heard of include Hargreaves Lansdown, AJ Bell, interactive investor, Wealthify, Vanguard, Fidelity, Bestinvest, Moneybox, Chip, eToro, Freetrade, Trading 212… Moneysupermarket has just launched an investment platform, too. There are dozens of options.

How to differentiate and work out which one is for you?

What type of companies/assets do you want to invest in?

Probably the biggest difference between the investment platforms is the choice of “assets” available to add to your account/ Isa. Some offer a vast range of all sorts, others just single stocks or a handful of funds. Some have ready-made portfolios, where you decide on your appetite for risk and everything else is taken care of, which can be more expensive but reassuring for beginners. If you are reluctant to invest in sectors that you think are destroying the planet/ human race, you might search for platforms that specialise in ethical funds such as Triodos Bank or the Big Issue’s Big Exchange.

How much will it cost to invest?

Unlike opening a cash savings account, which is usually free, investing comes with fees or charges. Different platforms charge different fees and they don’t make it very easy to compare. You may have to pay a fee to the platform, and then there can be a fee for specific investments and a fee for buying or selling or trading.

These fees are becoming cheaper though, as the newer trading apps are driving charges down, some waiving them altogether with “0% commission”.

How much do fees matter? Not a great deal if you’re starting small, a massive amount if you have tens or hundreds of thousands invested over decades. Some platforms charge a percentage of your investments, which is best for those with smaller amounts of money to invest, others a flat rate which works well for those investing really big sums e.g. £50k or more. This article goes into more detail.

Remember fees will compound over the years, just like investment returns compound.

Btw learning about compounding and what it means, should you have forgotten your maths gcse syllabus, is a lucrative life skill. As I mentioned in my first post on Substack, there’s a saying along the lines of “those who understand compound interest earn it, those who don’t, pay it”.

What type of website/ app will encourage you to keep going?

Depending on how you like to manage your money, you may want to choose an investment account based on how intuitive the app is, how easy it is to understand what you’re doing, or what “extras” are on offer, such as money coaching or a free session with a financial adviser. Some platforms such as AJ Bell’s Dodl or Chip are aimed at beginner investors with lots of educational advice. Or you might want gamifying features to help you keep at it, like automated investing or “round ups” where you can invest spare change (see Moneybox or Plum).

How much do you want to invest now/ each month?

It is a myth that you need a huge sum of money to start investing, some platforms let you open an account with £1, others will expect a starting investment of £50 or £500, some have a minimum monthly deposit amount.

Why are you investing and do you share your finances with anyone else?

Most platforms let you open a general investment account or a stocks and shares Isa as standard. The latter is what most experts will say is the best starting point as any returns you earn within it are tax-free (I’ve written more about how Isas work here).

If you’re saving for kids you might look for somewhere that lets you open a Junior Isa (I wrote about them here) or if you’re saving to try and get on the housing ladder, a Lifetime Isa. For retirement, especially if you’re self employed, you might want a SIPP (self invested personal pension).

If you intend to invest with someone else, such as your boyfriend or girlfriend, you might also want to consider a general investment account that you can own jointly, something I believe more couples should be doing. If you’re both on the account you can both manage the investments, see where the money is going, how your joint investments are performing, converge on your family’s appetite for risk... Isas are held in one individual’s name. I’m going to write another article about how to save and invest with someone else, because I think it’s an area of personal finance that is not thought about enough, but is something that most families should have on their radar. Subscribe to receive it soon, here!

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Consider the security of your money

Choose a platform that is FCA regulated in the UK, and is covered by the FSCS which will protect your money should it go under. With so many fintech start ups and rogue TikTokkers promoting their own investment opportunities this matters more than ever.

Resources

If you want to learn more about investment platforms and compare them, these articles/ websites are very helpful: Which?, Moneyweek, Boring money, Female Invest (which has a list of favoured platforms in different countries including Germany, France, Australia and Canada).

Ultimately, don’t overthink it unless you’re investing tens of thousands

The other day I was watching a video by , pal of Kate Moss, nutritionist with enviable skin, about the healthiest way to cook vegetables (the things I’ve learnt from scrolling!).

She was explaining how boiling is not as good as steaming or roasting and so on. But she then said, to paraphrase, if worrying about whether or not you should be boiling carrots results in you not eating carrots at all, then that is a bad outcome.

Same applies with most money management tips. Starting to invest, if you have some savings to spare, is much better than doing nothing, even if you choose a platform where the fees are slightly higher or the interface is not as jazzy as it could be. Find an app that works for you, sign up for it and set up a monthly direct debit. Invest a bit each month, even if it’s just a couple of quid, and get in the habit. You can always switch things up at a later date once it has all become second nature.

Let me know if this has raised any questions for you. “Investment” is a huge area of expertise, but feeling like you have to understand it all before you can start is all too common (particularly among women) and a barrier to saving enough for the future.

Thanks for reading!

Lx

I was with a group of friends over the weekend, eating cheese toasties at a sunny cafe in our local park. We all met nearly four years ago at an antenatal class. I’ve heard some NCT horror stories but we struck gold with our cohort and still get on so well, as do the kids who were busy lathering themselves in ketchup while the adults attempted snatched conversation.

A couple of the dads started talking about investing, the value of leveraging yourself from a young age by borrowing against property. One of the mums responded by berating herself for “being terrible with money stuff”. Another mentioned that her upbringing meant she has not got the risk-taking confidence of someone who knows there will be always be a safety net should a gamble not work out.

So far, so typical in my experience of money conversations, particularly around the subject of investment in a mixed group. We bonded over becoming parents at the same time rather than at work or university, so we all have jobs in different industries, with varied levels of income, wealth and family support.

These differences also present a challenge when trying to write about investment and whether it is something to consider even if you’re not a “money person” (I understand there are ethical considerations, too, but if that is what is stopping you do some research into alternative ways to invest).

Some people have thought a lot about how to maximise returns on their savings usually because they have plenty of them as well as plenty of time to dedicate to learning. Others switch off immediately, assuming they are not financey or rich enough to engage.

You do need spare savings to invest, life is expensive and many don’t have enough left at the end of the month to pay off their credit cards or create a cash emergency fund, let alone start trading equities. I include my present self here, at a stage of life where so much of our family income is spent on childcare, blueberries, toddler crocs etc.

BUT, I am sure there are lots of people who could afford to spare at least £20 a month who don’t because they haven’t thought about it.

I could have forgone many a regrettable post-work white wine in my early 30s to have topped up a stocks and shares Isa, should it have occurred to me and oh how I wish that it had.

Things are changing but I see that this is still divided along gender lines, which is what fires me up to engage with the subject more, even though I never imagined I’d be someone who would find it interesting or relevant to my life.

Btw, if you think we’ve moved beyond gender stereotyping around money, try putting “investing” into a stock image library search bar and note quite how many results feature men in suits with large watches or a more “modern” take, tech bros in shorts.

There are loads of men who don’t feel confident about how best to manage their money, either, obviously. If you are investing in stocks and shares you’re still in the minority, various estimates suggest about three quarters of people in the UK don’t (outside of their workplace pension. If you’ve got a pension you’re already investing, you may just not have paid much attention to where).

When I say investment I don’t mean the Big Swinging Dick Wolf of Wall Street stuff, as I wrote in my first book Money a User’s guide, I mean the more pedestrian thinking about how to maximise your long-term financial security, giving your savings the best chance to grow and beat the rising cost of living in order to do things like support your children’s future or afford to retire one day, usually through owning “assets”, such as stocks and shares.

People used to set life goals and work out how to meet them by going to a financial adviser who would invest savings on a client’s behalf, which took away a lot of the worry about where or how they were invested. Now it’s easier than ever to do it yourself and we are increasingly being encouraged to do so.

There are more and more investment companies and trading apps popping up, advertising on billboards and the tube, vying for our money. Even Martin Lewis has changed his tune and started talking about the fact that it’s probably a good idea to put (some of) your future savings into the stock market, rather than keeping them all in a cash Isa/ the bank account you opened as a student for the free rail card.

This choice is democratising but too much choice can be a massive psychological barrier to getting round to it.

There is also a common situation where people leave investing their money to someone else such as a male partner or, I still hear this a lot, their dad (note, with sadness, rarely their mum) who “gets it more”, when they could and should engage with it themselves, and, ideally, together in a way that is aligned. This is essential life skills stuff that many of us were never taught.

Investment is a big topic and there’s a lot of jargon to try and understand but the first hurdle at which to procrastinate is how to decide where to open an investment account and then what to put in it.

Over the next couple of weeks I’ll post some tips on choosing both, which I hope will be useful whether you think this stuff isn’t for you or you are someone who already invests but aren’t sure if you’ve made the right selection.

Like most things that are hard to do in life, I think the answer to getting your head round being “better” with money is not to get too perfectionist about it, to begin with, at least (speaking from a great deal of experience in being a chronic procrastinator here). Just start somewhere, get comfortable with it, feel good that you are finally doing something, and next thing you know you’ll be comparing assets over Sunday brunch.

Subscribe to get my tips on choosing an investment account, when this is a big deal, and when it isn’t, riiiight in your inbox.

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Thanks for reading,

Lx

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A few years ago I used to write a lot of features for newspaper travel sections especially with a money-saving angle. Exploring Tokyo on a shoestring, learning to tango on a budget trip to Buenos Aires, hunting the northern lights for less in the Arctic Circle where the sun didn’t rise and I drank craft beer in a trappers bar with a stuffed polar bear in the corner.

Then covid happened, pregnancy happened and my career and travel adventures changed shape, for a while at least. I am in the season of spending much more time on my laptop in my spare room than I’d like and I am not sure if I can I still call myself a travel journalist (when do these labels expire?). This week I am OOO, though, just for fun, staying at a friend of a friend’s villa in Menorca hunting for water slides, eating saucepan pesto penne by the pool and Lays paprika crisps on the beach. A different kind of holiday bliss.

I picked up quite a few travel tips over my years of more professional holidaymaking, however, as well as things I’m realising four summers into travelling as a parent. I intended to share some on Substack last week, before I left. Then I got too busy packing and panic ordering travel sickness bags for my 3 year old. A smart move because I needed them about 7 minutes into the drive from the airport to our accommodation. First thing we did on arrival, wash the hire-car travel-seat straps.

So, a couple of days later than intended, here we go, a few money and faff saving ideas that you may find useful for your own travels this summer.

(If you have small children I also recommend this post by )

1. Set yourself a budget for your trip and put the cash in a specific, separate pot in your current account with a bank that doesn’t charge overseas fees before you go (even better pay from the pot with a virtual card that you can delete when you’re home, if you’ve read this you know how much I love them). Or you could open a new current account just for holidays with a bank that doesn’t charge overseas fees, e.g. Monzo or Starling.

   This is a way to hack the psychological relaxation of paying up front for an all inclusive, too, even if you’re not going on one. If it’s already in the account and allocated it doesn’t count, right? Eat and drink with abandon!

2. If you’re staying in a hotel or somewhere it could be feasible, email and say you’re looking forward to your stay and enquire whether an upgrade is possible particularly if you’re celebrating something milestone-y like an anniversary or big birthday. My sister did this for a hotel we stayed in on my 40th and it worked a treat. If you don’t ask you don’t get.

3. Other payment admin things: spend in local currency rather than pounds to avoid the dynamic currency conversion fee. If you’re transferring money overseas, to pay for a villa for example, use a service like Wise rather than your bank which charges loads. But be careful of scams when transferring money. Always pay via for e.g. Airbnb’s platform, rather than messaging privately and sending cash, if you get an email requesting payment, be wary.

4. Pouches! For! Everything! When I was in Japan I visited the world’s best shop Tokyu Hands, which had, surely, the world’s best pouch department, hundreds of different zipped pockets and bags and folders for every conceivable need and I’ve been inspired ever since. I bought a neon travel wallet for passports and paperwork bits, quite boomer, but extremely useful when trying to fish it from the depths of my handbag. Now there are 3 of us travelling it helps to have passports differentiated by cover because invariably one person hands over the passports while the other clutches a squirming child.

   I bought a series of these wet bags when my daughter was a baby (annoyingly I don’t know if you can buy them in the UK anymore) and use them constantly, for clammy swimming costumes, changes of clothes on the go, toys and paraphernalia. These are cute snack bags for the endless crackers my daughter mashes into her buggy. I also bought this cool bag for picnics to save some cash on always eating out while away, it’s the perfect size.
   I have packing cubes for different people for clean and dirty clothes and to squeeze as much as possible into one suitcase for baggage fee reasons. And this is an excellent washbag, satisfyingly squishy but opens flat, so it’s easy to see everything.

5. Uniqlo has the best Mary Poppins-ish bags for travel, and they fit on a buggy handle. This one holds masses as small handbags go but can also be a little more dressy if required. This has a zip, which helps when rushing around the airport and on the beach.

6. When I wrote The Times consumer column I was inundated with complaints about car hire and travel insurance companies. Since, I’ve always booked with companies I’ve heard of that have a UK presence (and press office to complain to) and a reputation to lose, even if it costs a little more. I buy third party car hire excess insurance which works out cheaper. This is a useful guide to the things to look out for when booking travel insurance.

7. Useful travel items: rollerball suncream for reluctant children; plastic birks, so lightweight, slightly smarter and more robust alternative to flip flops; these perfume atomisers; travel steamer, if you’re going to a foreign wedding or for a work trip where you need to look presentable. I’ve got this one because I was seduced by its aesthetics. You could probably find it cheaper on eBay or Vinted.

8. I once wrote an article about someone who had a bill for £18,500 for accidentally streaming a video in the background of their phone while on holiday, for hours. Gah! It was a decade ago, and I’m not sure this would happen anymore, most mobile networks have a default roaming bill cap to stop you being charged extortionate amounts. I like to think this was introduced after consumer journalists wrote warning articles and networks were forced to act. But do check the cap if you’ll be roaming a lot. You could kill two birds with one stone and save some money by switching your mobile deal to a sim-only rolling contract with one of the newer networks that use the same infrastructure as the big firms, such as Lebara, which piggybacks on Vodafone, or Smarty, that uses Three. They are cheaper in the UK, and they don’t charge EU roaming fees.

9. Maybe too late for this year’s summer holiday, but for future reference sign up to a company/ hotel/ resort’s newsletter and book direct or at least see what the price would be before you go to a third party, it is often cheaper and you’ll get a loyalty discount or money off for booking via their app.

10. Local transport/ a bus is often the best sightseeing experience. One of the loveliest I’ve taken was the no 7 down the hill from Fiesole to Florence for a travel article where I saved money on an Italian minibreak by staying in a campsite, and where I ate a panino that changed my life, or at least my view on the flaccidness of panini (the plural of panini is not, I discovered, paninis) from a hole in the wall cafe called Semel, served with a glass of red. In Tromso, Norway, I took the no 42 to the icy island of Kvaloya, where you can hop off the bus to spot orcas and humpbacks en route.

    I’m sure I could add another 10 - let me know if that would be something you’d read. If you have any top money-saving travel tips or efficient pouches you’ve found I’d love to hear and share with other home economics readers.

    But right now I need to fulfil an urgent request to DO A MASSIVE JUMP into the pool.

Thanks for reading!

Lx

Welcome to a series I write as part of home economics, called “Is it worth it?” where I pick a popular consumer product, service or trend and analyse the pros, the cons and the small print, so you don’t have to.

FYI, I am not a qualified financial expert (though I’ve interviewed lots of them), so this is all In My Humble Opinion, but I’m hoping that presenting my workings will help you weigh things up for your own life and financial situation.

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I’ve been hovering over the buy now, pay later (BNPL) button a bit too much recently. I used Klarna to buy something on Vinted the other day via my Apple Wallet and just typing that sentence feels gross. But I also find times when Clearpay and Klarna are a useful way to manage spending now I have a small child and therefore a tighter budget and less time to plan and shop around.

This month the sector is being regulated for the first time, which it is hoped will make it harder to borrow irresponsibly. The companies will have to carry out more checks that you can afford to repay what they lend you.

So I thought I’d highlight a few things to consider when deciding whether to use BNPL and how to do so in a way that makes you feel more in control rather than slightly grubby?

What is buy now, pay later?

If you haven’t used BNPL I’m sure you’ll have seen it as a payment option at the bottom of most online checkouts, everything from M&S to fertility clinics to MaccyDs via Uber Eats.

Klarna, Clearpay and PayPal are the biggest players. Millions borrow from them regularly, you may be one of them, but I know many people who are wary of BNPL for moral reasons (valid) or because they don’t understand how it works and where the catch lies.

BNPL has been heavily slagged off in the press and by consumer experts, so I think there’s fear that Klarna is a gateway drug to severe debt issues (also valid).

BUT it can be innocuous and, unlike other debt products, completely free and without catch, if used with full knowledge of your own human weakness and a realistic assessment of your ability repay on time. Which is where I can slip up.

As the name suggests it’s a credit product, a short term loan that you can take out at the click of a button instead of typing in your card details. You can order lots of things you want right now and worry about how to fund them further down the line.

The different BNPL companies have different methods of lending.

PayPal’s Pay in 3 lets you split your purchase into three chunks, a third due at the time of buying, the next chunk a month later, the final one by month two.

With Clearpay you pay in four instalments, the first due on buying, the others spread over six weeks.

Klarna lets you pay in three instalments, over three months, or postpone the whole thing for 30 days.

How is it useful?

The other week I went to a wedding and few days of celebration in Germany for which I had nothing to wear (my husband argued otherwise) and no time to do much about it but order lots of different sized dresses and pairs of shorts and bits and bobs for my daughter on several websites, try them all on and send 99% back. Since becoming a mum I have never needed to try things on in real life more (I no longer know how to dress, why is everything so cropped and see through and thong-y 😩), and yet, have so much less time to do so.

Shopping like this is expensive to do in one go and would’ve cleared my bank account out, but I used BNPL at the checkout and so didn’t have to stress about waiting for a refund because I hadn’t actually paid, yet.

Great ! (apart from the death of the high street).

Credit cards would serve the same purpose if you have a 0% purchase card, where you can shop without interest. But credit cards, although less controversial than buy now pay later, can end up more expensive because once you’ve got one, you need a lot of willpower not to use it again and if you don’t clear the balance within the interest-free period things start to get very pricey.

The Ts & Cs to be aware of

If you don’t, or can’t, pay when the instalments are due there is a grace period offered, usually a week or two, then you owe a small fine.

Clearpay charges £6 at first, then another £6 if you still haven’t paid a week later, up to £24 in late fees, or 25 per cent of the purchase price, whichever is less.

Klarna charges a late fee of £5, or 25 per cent of the order cost if that works out as less than £5.

PayPal doesn’t charge any late fees.

More significant is the impact on your credit file of being unable to pay over the long term, or getting tangled up in lots of BNPL contracts you can’t fulfil.

BNPL loans are now reported to credit reference agencies. If you are up to your eyeballs in money owed, or you are consistently late paying, it could start to impact how other financial companies view you, and make it hard or more expensive to borrow for more serious things, like getting a mortgage. And this would affect a partner, too, or your friend or sibling or parent if you’re buying with someone else.

Anything else to consider?

BNPL companies make profit by charging retailers to offer Klarna etc at the checkout, rather than on late fees or interest, which is probably why PayPal doesn’t charge late fees.

Which tells you all you need to know about why these loans can be expensive. Shops love BNPL because you end up buying more than you would if you had to save up like your grandparents told you to.

Various behavioural studies show that we find it more painful and are therefore more reluctant to part with physical cash than we are to use a card. It follows that we are going to spend a lot more still if there’s no friction at all.

If you are going to use BNPL I recommend downloading the Klarna/ Clearpay/ PayPal app. They lay it all out clearly, what you owe, when it’s due etc. Easier to keep track. THEN DELETE IT ONCE YOU’RE DONE. Because I noticed the Klarna app also has a feature called “purchase power” where, highlighted at the top of my phone screen, is a large number - £2,246 - an estimate of what I could spend with Klarna’s thousands of retail friends. I have no idea how it came to this figure and on what it is based, as I don’t think it has ever done a credit check. It’s not real money, it is sadly not some kind of in app savings balance, but my goodness, it is tempting.

Imagine how far that could go on Vinted!

Thanks for reading,

Lx

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In my last post I wrote in defence of the joint account. This week I thought I’d pay loving tribute to another banking product that has changed the way I track and share my household finances in the last couple of years.

It is a popular budgeting tool with my friends who are parents too, as I discovered when celebrating my birthday over a nice cold martini the other weekend. (We went to a restaurant called Leo’s that I booked after reading this Substack list, strong recommend if you’re in the neighbourhood).

After we had discussed what trainers we can and can’t still pull off, jury was out on my new Nike trotter toes, talk turned to our mutual appreciation of the virtual debit card.

Welcome to being over 40!

My friend had been suggesting virtual cards at the school gates to other mums, particularly those trying to work out how to manage expenses for the kids with their other halves. So I thought I’d do the same here.

What are virtual cards?

When you open a bank account, you get a physical debit card with the 16 digit number. You can add this to an online wallet (Apple, Google or Samsung Pay), store it with Amazon or Shop Pay, use it to tap and go from your main account balance. All arguably a way to end up spending more, but that’s a debate for another day.

A few banks, an increasing but still quite small number, mainly the online-only apps such as Starling and Monzo, offer you the chance to create your own virtual debit cards, too, with their own unique 16 digit number, CVV and expiry date. There are also virtual credit cards, more common in the US.

In the case of Monzo, you can create up to 100 virtual debit cards in a year, Starling lets you set up five new ones each week, though with both you can have only five virtual cards “active” at any one time.

Active means you can use the cards to pay online, typing in the number at checkout like you would a normal physical debit card, or adding them to a digital wallet to use contactless at the till.

Why are virtual cards useful?

Virtual cards are often promoted as a way to ensure security and privacy, a sort of Snapchat of banking. If you’re worried about your card details getting stolen you can use a virtual card for a one-off payment, and delete it afterwards.

But I love them because of how easy they make it to stay on top of spending, especially with someone else.

You can pay from your main current account with a virtual card, but they come into their own when you attach them to particular subscriptions, pots or spaces.

For example, I have a Starling joint account with my husband where we allocate monthly amounts for different shared expenses in different “spaces” (like digital piggy banks, or mini savings accounts). Other banks call them pots.

Our main spaces are “groceries”, self-explanatory, “enjoyable stuff”, which includes takeaway coffees, cinema, eating out etc, and “kids”, for everything from swimming lessons to panic-bought veggie straws.

We have a different coloured virtual debit card attached to each space, which we can both access on our own phones. So when one of us orders the Ocado, we use the green card, and if we’re with our daughter, we would tap the purple one, if we’re in a coffee shop, the dark red one, and so on.

Once the pot is drained of the monthly budget, the card bounces, regardless of how much money is in the main account balance.

This is an embarrassingly-frequent occurrence at the Nisa at the end of our road. My husband and I often WhatsApp a screenshot to each other of “your payment for £0.97 has been declined” with a FML.

But it does make it easier to see where all the money goes, and force you into allocating a budget which you are then motivated to stick to. It prevents you going into overdraft, or spending vastly more than you want to because you’re not paying attention.

It is hard work to track how much you’re spending, and to stop spending so much, if you’re doing all of it from one large sum out of one current account where your salary lands.

Twenty quid feels like very little when your balance shows £1,000 but it feels like a lot if there’s only £30 left in the kids pot.

Virtual cards are also great for separating and keeping track of expenses for one-off events like weddings or birthday parties. I like a pot with a virtual card for Christmas, as well as holidays. You can set up a virtual card with no overseas fees and a budget for the trip, and delete it once you’re home.

Some people swear by them for managing subscriptions.

You could create a subscriptions space or pot, attach a virtual card for the monthly fees, and see much more clearly what subscriptions you need, what you should cancel, and monitor whether any prices have changed. Some virtual cards, e.g. from Revolut, are not attached to a particular pot, but let you set a spending limit.

Reddit gave me the genius idea that you can use a virtual card to stop you forgetting to cancel free trials.

Just subscribe using a temporary card, and delete it once you’re signed up, meaning you won’t accidentally be charged after 30 days (is this ethical? Not sure. Don’t do it to your favourite Substackers).

Endless benefits!

Have you discovered virtual cards and what are your spaces called? I would love to know.

Thanks for reading,

Lx

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The joint account is “outdated”, falling out of fashion, according to various articles and surveys I’ve seen published recently.

Research from last year suggests 56 per cent of people would refuse to open a joint account (by which they mean a current account that can be managed by more than one person, both can add and withdraw money).

Another claims 43 per cent of under-30s find a joint account to be “a sexist tool for controlling women”. Blimey.

I would take these surveys with a pinch of salt, another found that the number of joint accounts being opened increased in 2025. But I’m interested in where the conversation about sharing money is going, and that the emphasis is so often on the downsides of joining finances with someone else rather than the benefits, while the risks of keeping everything separate if you are in a long-term relationship are ignored.

I know I’m a millennial who still wears a cross-body handbag, very much not an arbiter of cool (can a genre of bank account be uncool?), but I am a big fan of my joint account(s). I have two with my husband, one for the mortgage and bills, one for all other expenses of a shared life, and I’d be lost, probably poorer and more argumentative without them.

Once upon a time before we were married my husband and I used to collect paper receipts to divvy up who paid for what. It always took about six months to get round to and it was always a grim exercise, practically and emotionally.

Here are 10 things I think everyone should know about joint accounts, the pros and cons, so you can decide whether you think they are a tool of oppression or a useful way to manage your household finances with a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, flatmate or parent of your child.

1. A joint account does not have to be synonymous with surrendering your financial independence

You can and IMHO should still have money in your sole name, whether that is a current account or your own savings and investments, even if you are married. This is important for a variety of reasons that I’ll go into another time. I wrote a bit about being in control of your own money here. But you could argue a joint account offers protection against all your partner’s financial life being kept from you. And if you have shared commitments especially children, silo-ing all your earnings can lead to a lot of unfairness and resentment about who is shouldering the biggest financial burden.

2. Joint accounts make sharing bills and expenses efficient and therefore, let’s be honest, more likely to happen

Take a scenario where you don’t have a joint account with a long-term partner but you need to buy something for the house or for the kids. How do you do it? Probably a quick Apple Pay click online when you remember, but from where?

Do you pin down your partner to discuss, for each and every transaction, who should contribute what percentage and how? Or does whoever think of it first use their personal funds because it’s quicker, and then, somewhere down the line, does whoever didn’t spend all their savings on bottles of cif or paediatrician-approved school shoes have a much larger pension?

You could, and many more organised people than me do, have a system set up to make sure household bill paying / shopping is equitable. Some people are relaxed, believing it will all work itself out. But I wonder how many households have decided this in advance, or just sort of make it up on the spot? Given most people’s reluctance to discuss money, the stats probably aren’t great.

3. Joint accounts encourage transparency and a “we” perspective which can make everyone happier and better off

I interviewed an American academic for a book I’m writing (stay tuned 👀 ) who has studied the benefits of a joint account. One of her findings was that by their very nature joint accounts force transparency over bills and expenses and spending, as well as a conversation about how much all this costs and therefore people end up better off. Monitoring where your money goes generally results in having more of it, and it never feels great to bury your head. They also force a “we” perspective, which leads people to feel happier in their relationships.

4. Then there’s the value of accountability

That alert your fellow joint-account holder will get on their phone when you spend can give you pause before you hit buy and, speaking from experience here, that’s not always a terrible thing.

5. Money in a joint account is everyone’s to spend so you need to have a lot of trust

I don’t want to make light of some of the risks of tying finances to another person and you should be aware of them. Financial abuse is thankfully becoming an increasingly recognised crime. A joint account makes this kind of abuse easier, though I have interviewed people who have been controlled by partners into handing over money from their personal accounts, too, or shut out of finances altogether by a partner’s refusal to share anything.

All money in a joint account is, as the name suggests, jointly available. It doesn’t matter who put the cash in, if your name is on the account you “own” it and can therefore spend it.

6. This applies to debt, too

Most current accounts allow you to go into overdraft. If the person you have a joint account with spends too much, dipping into the red, it becomes your debt, too. There are many situations when people through carelessness or malice refuse to pay back what they owe, and a bank can pursue the other joint account holder for the money.

7. Mismanagement of a joint account can hit your credit file

If your fellow joint account holder goes into overdraft and doesn’t pay it back, this will have a negative impact on their credit file, but, because it is considered your debt too, it will also have a negative impact on your credit file. How big the debt, and how mismanaged it becomes will increase what this means for you. If it ended up being ignored for years and legal action is involved it could matter a lot, you probably couldn’t get a mortgage. A £50 overdraft for a few months is unlikely to be a big deal.

8. Even just applying for a joint account creates a financial association on your credit file

As soon as you apply for any financial product with someone else, including a joint current account, you create a financial association recorded by credit reference agencies. This means the person with whom you are linked can appear on your credit file. Their financial behaviour can be taken into account by a bank or other company that is looking at your credit file and deciding whether to lend you money. How much this is taken into account is commercially sensitive and therefore debatable, but it’s worth knowing it is possible. And, FYI, this connection lasts forever even if you’ve closed your joint account, unless you “disassociate” (easy to do by going to a credit reference agency). I bet a lot of people still have their exes on their credit files without realising.

9. You can freeze a joint account but might both need to close it

If you are worried about the joint account being misused you can freeze it, but you may both need to agree for it to be closed. Banks are becoming savvier about financial abuse, so there can be exceptions.

10. If you want to create a kitty with friends there are better options

I saw an Instagram post from someone saying they had set up a joint account with a group of friends, each paid in £20 a month for a couple of years and they had a group holiday for their 40ths with the cash. Brilliant idea but probably the wrong tool for it. Same for more casual housemate arrangements. You can get a joint savings account, which doesn’t have the same impact on credit files because it is not a debt product. Or you can use an app like Hyperjar or Paypal that allows you to create a digital kitty (note they don’t have the same insurance protections for your money as a bank so maybe not somewhere to store cash for a trip to the Maldives).

How much to put in the joint account, though? That’s a whole other conversation… one for another post (and book– more soon)

Thanks for reading!

Lx

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In June 2025 I blinked and turned 40. I intended to write about how it felt. I love reading those cheesy lists attached to landmark birthdays. E.g. Lena Dunham’s here. Then I blinked again and somehow on Saturday I will be 41.

So, in the last gasp of 40 I’ve compiled my own list, 41 things I have learnt so far, am very much still trying to learn, as I step deeper into middle age with three magic and tiring years of being a mum under my belt.

1. Everything takes longer than you think it will, apart from reaching your forties.

2. Save first, for the future, for emergencies, in a separate account, as soon as you get paid.

3. For goodness sake shop for the life you actually lead: working from home, picking a 3 year old up from preschool in torrential rain, occasionally going for a drink with friends if you can get a babysitter. You do not need a cream silk camisole.

4. Hold your nerve and apply the two week wait to anything that troubles you.

   This is a rule my husband and I invented in the early, foggy months of parenthood. When things got desperate, we’d promise to give it a fortnight before making a big change (e.g. paying £250 for a sleep training PDF; getting divorced). You can tolerate a lot for a couple of weeks and then, more often than not, something unlocks and the path ahead becomes clear (oh, the baby was brewing a cold. My period was due, etc). It is yet to let me down.

5. If you can’t wait two weeks, at least give it a 24 hour cooling off period. Most applicable to spending money online or sending a pissy email. As Dad, a wise cornishman, used to say, don’t rush it, kid.

6. It’s usually a cock up not a conspiracy (another one from Dad).

7. Do not be seduced or intimidated by the bullet-proof self-assurance of someone who went to a posh school and/or university, or who is extremely opinionated on social media. You do not know how often they cry themselves to sleep at night.

8. It feels really good to earn and spend your own money.

9. There are times, like when you are unwell or when you have just given birth, when you won’t be able to do this. Get over yourself about relying on someone else. It feels good to accept help sometimes, too.

10. Always have your own bank account, though, alongside the joint finances.

11. Do not overthink your way out of what your gut is telling you. Experience so far suggests most things are what you first suspect, even though they are rarely as dramatic as film and TV portrays: grief, miscarriage, someone struggling with mental ill health, a man who treats women well, a man who lets women down, a situation that won’t end happily.

12. It is, however, the article you least expect that will cause the biggest problem with the newspaper’s lawyers (a useful analogy).

13. Just start and start small– investing for retirement, paying off debt, writing a few words a day of a book. A bit underwhelming is better than never getting round to it for fear the mountain is too high. TRUST THE PROCESS.

14. As a 14 year old I used to dream about being old and rich enough to one day own a trouser suit from Karen Millen and go into Space NK to actually buy something! Hold on to this.

15. Ask for a payrise/ more money than you think you’re worth. Apparently it works?

16. Prices based on salons near me: Botox £245, Brazilian wax £45, gel manicure £50, lip fillers £300, full head of highlights £275. Men have an average of £3,000 more than women in their stocks and shares Isas. Go figure.

17. Care home fees if you have dementia are anywhere from £1,200 to more than £2,000 a week, even for the terrible places. One I looked round cost more than £10k a month. Worth bearing in mind.

18. Things I’ve never regretted spending money on:

19. Great shoes

20. Holidays and parties

21. Health

22. Other people’s talent or support: wedding photographer (the best), designer (Lucy is amazing 💛), breastfeeding consultant.

23. Things I always regret spending money on:

24. Anything I bought because it was in the sale

25. Overly generous gifts because I wanted to be liked

26. Deliveroo

27. It is easy to get trapped in the cycle of needing more money to buy you time (see Deliveroo). More time means you do not need to spend as much and therefore earn as much. Design a work life balance around this.

28. Free things that actually work to soothe a stressed-out soul: 8 hours of sleep, sex, change of scene, holding a toddler’s hand, yoga with Adriene, Jo Whiley on the couch to 5km app.

29. Things that do not work and end up being expensive but that I still reach for first: scrolling Vinted.

30. Don’t take advice from people who have a radically different way of coping with uncertainty from you, particularly about pensions, cryptocurrency, soothing a baby, careers, where to send your child to school, healthy eating.

31. Being a mother is much easier (you will love your baby enough and then some, you will work out what to do) and much harder (where to start?) than you could ever have imagined.

32. Late stage capitalism is not built for the sleep deprivation that parenthood entails and this is a problem.

33. I once watched an outrageously gorgeous couple traipsing around a hotel in Palm Springs with their phones out, ignoring each other, while I drank cocktails and had a swim and read a book and snoozed and chatted to my husband (pre parenthood 🫠). We later watched their “California dreamin’!” Instagram movie and it looked like they had the most enviable existence imaginable. But it was obvious, at least that afternoon, who was having a better time IRL.

34. Lidl pine nuts are a bargain, frozen onions are worth the extra cost.

35. You have to pay for lots of really banal stuff once you reach mid life, like insurance and house repairs and physio. It feels disgusting and you should budget for it in advance to ease the pain.

36. No one is watching you as much as you are watching yourself, apart from your daughter.

37. People you love will die suddenly, with no warning, and that phonecall will make your legs and conviction turn to jelly. People you love will die in slow motion, and the loss will lap like waves over years and years, until the end of time, I guess. I’m not yet sure what to do with this realisation, but it should probably inform the way I live from now on.

38. It has taught me that life insurance, writing a will and getting power of attorney in place is sensible, though.

39. The argument is never really about the money.

40. This too shall pass.

41. Close some tabs– on your computer, in your brain. You will never get round to them. Make space for the new.

    ---

Thanks for reading!

And please do add your own life-so-far lessons in the comments, I could do with all the wisdom I can gather.

Lx

Hello, I’m Laura Whateley, and this is home economics, a newsletter that I hope will make you feel more confident about how you manage money, on your own and with those you love, because it is becoming ever more important that we try to figure it out. Sign up here to get weekly ideas in your inbox.

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Belle Burden’s Memoir Is Making People Hate Their Husbands, the headline on a recent Harper’s Bazaar feature about a book you may have seen talked about a lot, especially in the US media. If you haven’t, you probably will soon as it’s set to be made into a Netflix film starring Gwynnie.

There’s a new wave of hype about it this week, as a New Yorker article has questioned the veracity of the (no doubt extremely wealthy) author’s claim that the abrupt end of her marriage threatened her financial security. Which, aside from the issue of truth-telling in memoir writing, goes to show how the concept of financial security can be wildly subjective.

Strangers, A Memoir of Marriage, begins with Belle Burden’s husband of 20 years owning up to an apparently brief affair, then walking out of the door, in the middle of the pandemic. He never looks back.

In a jaw-dropping act of cowardice, or maybe some kind of extreme mid-life meltdown, he sheds himself of his marriage and doesn’t feel the need to tell his wife why. As Burden describes it, he wants nothing more to do with her, their homes and possessions or, in any meaningful way, care for their three children.

He has millions of dollars in an account Burden didn’t know about, but buys himself a two-bedroom New York apartment, which means there is no space for the kids, the youngest aged 12 at the time, to stay overnight with him.

She writes that five days before her wedding, she’d signed a prenup, with dodgy terms, not wishing to rock the boat, assuming it would never see the light of day:

“When we heard about infidelities and divorces, he assured me it would never happen to us.

“He said we were different from other couples because we were so compatible, so similar – quiet, cerebral, happiest at home. He told me every day that he loved me… He never told me, not once, that he was discontent in our marriage, unhappy with me, or struggling in our life together.”

Horror!!

I’ve just finished reading it and I don’t hate my husband but it did make me feel a brief flicker of fear, wtf would I do if this happened to me? This couldn’t happen to me, right?! I am not sure I know all the passwords, and despite the fact I write about this stuff all the time, I’ve definitely left it to my husband to sort out important money things recently, earning the lion’s share of the cash we need for bills, in the busy chaos of life parenting a toddler.

A reminder of why I started this Substack, at least. We all need to be financially literate and able to talk to our partners about money, before it’s too late.

If we can’t, it’s worth thinking about why, and whether being too busy, or too conflict-averse, too bored by life admin or unconfident about “numbers” is leaving us and/ or our partners vulnerable. That vulnerability could be purely about the finances, e.g. you couldn’t pay the council tax if your relationship ended. Or it could be about how money, like in Burden’s experience, starts to represent a heart-burning source of betrayal and unfairness, even if you leave a marriage with a lovely big house.

The section I’m about to quote was one of the most red-flaggy bits of the book for me, something that made me think about my own casual approach to managing money in the past, and the allure of someone you fancy sorting the accountancy out so you don’t have to.

It also reminds me of the dynamics highlighted by women I’ve interviewed who have been in a financially abusive relationship.

“As James moved deeper into the investment world [he works in a hedge fund in New York] I handed more of our financial life over to him. He understood the stock market, balance sheets, taxes. He could have the conversations with bankers and lawyers that I hated… He told me how much money to wire into our checking account every month, the amount to pay in taxes. He dealt with the gas company, the landscaper, the accountants, the bookkeeper– anything and everything to do with money…

“I paid our bills online and signed our tax returns, but slowly, I lost touch with both the big picture and the details of our financial life, depending on James to tell me what to do. I felt shame about it, about not being involved, about not asking questions. But I was afraid I wouldn’t understand it, that it was too complicated for me, even though I was a former corporate lawyer. I settled into the vagueness, the luxury and privilege of not knowing.

“And part of me liked it, the handing over. James’ care for our money felt like his contribution to our family, the way he showed his love and commitment to me and the kids. There was something romantic about it too– the smart and honourable man, the devoted husband and father, shouldering his part of our life. I had my own bucket of responsibility– the kids, their school, the meals, the homework, the bedtimes– so it made sense he would take on our finances.”

I’ve read people saying Burden’s set up and attitude is retro, and yes, she is part of a rarified slice of society in America whose children go swimming in country clubs at the weekend. But I have spoken to hundreds of people about this subject, including divorce lawyers and I’d say it is still common for one partner in a couple to take more charge and ownership of managing or saving or investing the money when people are as time poor as most families are now, even if, as is more often the case, both partners earn.

Just this morning I was reading a letter, published on Philippa Perry’s Substack, where a woman disillusioned with her well-paid career, which she juggles with looking after the kids, said that her husband pulls his weight, too, “he takes care of all-things finances and all-things car and house-maintenance.”

The divide and conquer approach is unavoidable with limited hours in the day, but there is risk in using that as a reason to never engage.

Most of us would be much more screwed than Burden money-wise, if our partner acted like her ex-husband. How ok would you be if you were suddenly on your own?

(And, important, how screwed would your partner be if you decided you’d had enough?)

I doubt it will ever happen! I’m sure your husband / wife/ cohabiting partner is not a total asshole. Mine, sat next to me, working from home, is wonderful.

But it sounds like that’s what Burden thought…? Yikes.

Thanks for reading!

Lx

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Welcome to a new series I’m going to write as part of home economics, called “Is it worth it?” where I pick a popular consumer product, service or trend and analyse the pros, the cons and the small print, so you don’t have to.

FYI, I am not a qualified financial expert (though I’ve interviewed lots of them), so this is all In My Humble Opinion, but I’m hoping that presenting my workings will help you weigh things up for your own life and financial situation.

First up, Britain’s favourite savings accounts. You’ve probably heard you should have an Isa. But why?

In the interview for my first journalism role as editorial assistant on the money desk of a newspaper, my future boss asked me to describe what an Isa was. I can’t remember how I fudged it, I don’t think I had a clue, but I got away with it then got better at googling.

An Isa, which stands for Individual Savings Account, is one of those things that most British people have heard of, sold as a basic building block of financial security and, increasingly, on social media, a path to becoming a millionaire (spoiler: unlikely).

Nearly half of Brits have opened one as a default way to save. How many really understand the pros and cons of them, though?

In a way this doesn’t matter, few of us are saving enough, saving somewhere is better than not saving anywhere.

But I think there’s value in managing money with intention, and properly understanding the things we consume and invest in, especially if they are funded by the government as Isas are. Also, why this matters for relationship equality and reducing tension with your partner if you have one, so I urge you to keep on with this essay on tax-efficient savings products (you got this far! Thank you!).

People use Isas for lots of things: short-term cash rainy day pots, deposits on a first property, long-term goals such as retirement, to invest in interesting companies, to save for children.

There are a variety of Isa accounts that serve these different purposes: cash Isas, stocks and shares Isas, lifetime Isas*, junior Isas and innovative finance Isas, but they are all share the selling point that you do not have to pay any tax on interest or returns earned on the money in an Isa account.

That’s why an Isa is often called a tax “wrapper”, covering your savings like a cagoule that repels HMRC.

TL; Don’t want to R: HERE ARE 5 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ISAS, before I go into more detail below.

1. The Isa tax break is meaningful only if you are saving more than about £10k, are an additional-rate taxpayer (earning more than £125k), or want to stay invested in the stock market over a decade or two.

2. Pensions are, for most, a more lucrative way to save for future, especially if you have an employer to contribute to retirement savings. But Isas are more flexible, you can get hold of the money before age 57.

3. Sure, an Isa is a great way to become a millionaire, as long as you can find tens of thousands of pounds to invest regularly for 20 years or more to make the most of compounding stock market returns (the Isa is really just the way to get a generous tax break on all that cash). Most people cannot stretch to this, obvs. There are about 10,000 “Isa millionaires”, of the over 22 million people who hold an Isa account (call them the 0.045%).

4. You cannot have a joint Isa, which means that if you want a partner to share in or understand your Isa savings or investments, you have to actively engage with how you’re going to do this, which lots of people fail to even consider. Women lose out the most from this failure, statistically speaking.

5. Isas do have an advantage for married couples, however, in that you can inherit your partner’s Isa allowance on their death.

*Lifetime Isas have an extra benefit of cash from the government, worth looking up if you’re under 40/ a first-time home buyer.

How do Isas save you money?

In the UK you have to pay tax on your income if you earn more than £12,570, which is the personal allowance. This income can be from your salary, but it can also be made up of earnings from elsewhere, including interest generated by cash savings. You also pay tax on money you earn from investments, such as dividends and capital gains, which is any profit made from e.g. selling shares in a company.

You do not, however, have to pay tax on interest or investment returns generated from money saved in an Isa.

The more money you can afford to save and invest, the higher your tax bill will be, the more an Isa can keep this down.

You only pay tax and therefore save loads of money on tax if you have plenty of these savings and investments. Key point, here.

You can earn £500 - £1k in interest without paying tax, if you earn less than £125k

The personal savings allowance is an amount of money that you can receive in interest before you pay any tax on it, £1,000 a year for basic-rate taxpayers (those who earn between £12,750 and £50,270), and £500 a year for higher-rate taxpayers (those who earn between £50,271 and £125,140). Additional rate taxpayers, who earn over £125,140 don’t get the allowance.

You also get a tax-free allowance on dividends (£500), and capital gains allowance (£3,000).

Interest rates affect how likely you are to earn more than the allowance. When rates are higher, as they are at the moment, Isas become more attractive.

But you still need thousands of pounds of savings to earn £500 to £1,000 interest each year.

Here are some examples of when you’d pay tax and when you wouldn’t (I’ve used an online calculator from Aviva to work this out, useful to see for yourself) and an interest rate of 5%, which is pretty high, most savings accounts pay a lot less, though you might be more likely to get a return of 5% over the longer term by investing with a stocks and shares Isa.

When Isas don’t make a difference to the tax you pay

Salary of £40k, saving £10k with a 5% interest rate = £500 interest, £0 tax bill.

Salary of £60k, saving £10k with a 5% interest rate = £500 interest, £0 tax bill.

When Isas would save you money on tax

Salary of £130k, saving £10k with a 5% interest rate = £500 interest, £230 tax bill.

Salary of £40k, savings of £30k with a 5% interest rate = £1,500 interest, £100 tax bill.

Salary of £60k, savings of £30k with a 5% interest rate = £1,500 interest, £400 tax bill.

There is a limit to how much you can save into an Isa, £20k each tax year, which runs from April 6th to April 5th, though this has been reduced to £12k for cash Isas for those under 65, and £9,000 for junior Isas.

If you are saving over many years, your money can grow beyond the limit, yet all interest remains tax-free. That’s why they are a particularly appealing for those wanting to invest in stocks and shares, which, if you’re following the rules on how to invest sensibly, necessitates staying invested for the long game, to even out the rises and falls of the market.

When will I become an Isa millionaire?

Most “Isa Millionaires” have got rich over a long time, investing in stocks and shares the maximum £20k consistently, year after year, and never having to pay tax on the returns.

Figures vary, but I used another Aviva calculator to work out how long it would take to have £1million savings, based on a “medium” investment return of 5% (this could be higher or lower depending on how the stock market performs).

You’d need to save £20k a year (£1,666 a month) for 27 years to have a £1m in your Isa.

That’s not to say it’s pointless to invest in an Isa, far from it, but take with a pinch of salt how much it will amplify the spare money you have to save or invest or use somewhere else valuable in your life. This might include finding a higher interest rate on a non-Isa account, paying down expensive debt, topping up a pension that will grow quicker because your employer also contributes, enjoying yourself, or using a joint savings account with a partner.

The problem of putting all your savings in Isas if you’re in a couple

If something, such as a savings account, has got one person’s name on it, who does it belong to? How easy is it to share that money with someone else?

I interviewed a divorce lawyer about the inequalities that occur during the process of separating money at the end of a marriage. It is common that couples who split do not share their pensions, and in part she believes this is because they consider them to belong to a particular member of the couple, his pension, her pension, whoever’s name is on the letter from the pension company.

This isn’t the legal position. If one person has hundreds of thousands in their pension pot, the other partner has a few hundred quid, it doesn’t matter whose name is on it, the money can be redistributed. But most couples don’t get judges involved when they divorce, and the psychology of what seems “fair” rules, instead.

Isas, like pensions, are only in one individual’s name. It is vital to have some money in your own name, whether that’s making sure you have your own Isa, or some other savings account, rather than all your savings being in your partner’s Isa.

I also see massive value in having savings with both names on too, if you’re a couple with shared commitments and/ or kids, as a statement of intent that you’ve got an eye on each other’s future financial security. You’d need a joint savings account or a joint investment account for this, or a joint current account (though this comes with a little more risk because there is debt/ credit files involved), rather than an Isa.

Joint savings make it a lot easier to both pay attention to how much you’ve got, how it is invested, and both feel you are entitled to contribute and spend it, even (especially) if one partner earns less or has more responsibility for looking after family or domestic life.

Married couples are entitled to each other’s Isa savings on death and divorce, though like the lawyer told me, how this actually comes out in the wash is a different story.

You can also inherit a spouse’s Isa allowance (up to the amount they had saved) on their death.

If you are cohabiting or in a relationship but not married, anything in your partner’s name is theirs, unless they choose to share. A joint savings pot would be divided down the middle if you were to split or your partner died.

Joint savings and investments can leave you vulnerable, your partner could withdraw it all and scarper, but it’s worth thinking about this issue and what suits your family, which it is very easy not to do, and inequality can grow in the procrastination.

Men for a variety of reasons, have a lot more money than women in their Isas, £3,000 on average, according to HMRC data, even though more women have opened an Isa (11.5 million women vs. 10.7 million men). And because of how compounding interest and returns work, the more you earn and save over the long term, the wider this gap yawns.

Thanks for reading, I would love to hear if there’s a particular product or service you’d like me to breakdown in the coming weeks and months. It doesn’t have to be financial, anything that costs you money and time and you have been wondering if and when it’s worth it…

Lx

Hello, I’m Laura Whateley, welcome to home economics, a newsletter that I hope will make you feel more confident about how you manage money, on your own and with those you love, because it is becoming ever more important that we try to figure it out. Sign up here to get weekly ideas in your inbox.

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They say most books should be an essay, most essays an email, most emails a tweet. This post is in place of a WhatsApp that I have failed to send to my friend Lauren who has been asking me for ages for tips on where to put money aside for her little boy, Dash.

Lauren and I went to school together, then to Australia during our Gap Yah. Once, a long time ago, we smoked pastel-coloured sobranies in beach bars and wore SPF10 in the southern-hemisphere sun. Now we worry about pigmentation and (not quite sure how we got here?) investing in Isas.

In a divine bit of timing from the universe, my daughter Stella was born two months after Dash, and now age three, they go to the same nursery and are best buds.

Lauren and I want to set aside a bit each month for the kids and create somewhere that friends and family, including grandparents, can add a money gift for birthdays or Christmas. Right now D&S love Paw Patrol merch and mermaid snap wrist bands, but when they are in their 20s, they’ll probably really like a few thousand pounds in their bank account to get them started.

So, Auntie Lon, as you are now known, here we go, I finally replied! A few thoughts for you, and any newish (or not so new) parents, relatives and generous-feeling friends.

1. Decide how long you want to save for

This will determine whether it is best to use a cash savings account or to invest in something else to make your money work “harder”. Most commonly this will be stocks and shares via investment funds rather than rare wine or bitcoin, but you may be a different parent to me.

This matters because of inflation aka the rising cost of living, £100 will buy you more now than it will in 18 years time. If you’re saving towards future university costs you need to worry about this more than if you’re creating a pocket money fund to dip in and out of during childhood.

The rule of thumb that financial advisers tend to repeat is, save in cash if you want to get the money out in the next three to five years, consider investing in stocks and shares if you’re aiming for longer.

If investment is new to you find a guide to understand the basics. There’s so much out there. I always recommend Vestpod.

2. Children’s cash accounts are good for teaching kids about money, some can be opened by friends and relatives

Most banks and building societies offer cash children’s savings accounts that function like adult savings accounts, accessible whenever you want the money, but are opened in a kid’s name.

You can apply for one for your own offspring or, in many cases, for someone else’s. This would be a welcome gift for a newborn, btw, saving exhausted parents the admin of setting it up.

E.g. Yorkshire Building Society lets anyone apply for a children’s savings account paying 3.55 per cent interest. Family Building Society has a junior saver account paying up to 3.60 per cent interest, which can be opened by close relatives of a baby or child including grandparents, aunts and uncles or adult siblings.

How to pick one? I’d log on to a comparison site, I always seem to use Moneyfacts, but others are available, and search based on your criteria or interest rate not, as most default to, “sponsored listings”, the companies that have paid to be at the top of the rankings.

I’d base my decision on how highly I regard the institution, the rate of interest, and any small print. This includes, what is the min or max amount you can save in it? How many times can you withdraw the money? Are there any age limits on opening the account (some are for ages 0-17, others for children from 11, etc), how often do you have to pay in? Does the interest rate change after 12 months?

3. Junior Isas are particularly useful for investing over many years

All children are entitled to have a cash and / or stocks and shares Junior Isa, into which adults can pay up to £9,000 a year. You can have only one of these per child, but you could have one alongside a normal kid’s savings account.

Any interest or returns earned on money in a Junior Isa is tax-free. This is mainly advantageous for those intending to save thousands of pounds, not £10 here and there.

Return on savings and investments is taxed in the UK, but few people end up paying. I don’t want to bang on about this here, so I am going to publish something explaining the ins and outs of Isas soon, because I’m sure lots of people have them without really understanding why. Stay tuned if you love tax chat!

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Money in a Junior Isa can’t be accessed until your child turns 18 at which point it is all theirs, to spend as they wish. FYI this could be on cigarettes bought from a bloke with a bumbag on the beach, or maybe watermelon vapes, if gen alpha have any vices at all. So some parents may decide to save in an Isa in their own name and handover the cash when everyone is ready…

If you’re saving from age three to age 18, def consider stocks and shares first as you have a long time to balance out the ups and downs of the market.

You can open a Junior stocks and shares Isa with a bank, a friendly society, or investment company (sometimes called investment platforms or fund supermarkets), such as Moneybox, Wealthify, Vanguard, Interactive Investor. There are loads, this is a helpful article . You pay a fee to invest, though it’ll be low unless you’ve got tens of thousands of pounds. Most companies have ready-made portfolios and funds to make it easy to get started.

4. Save collectively, if you can

It takes a financial village to bring up a child these days, even though it is common for one parent to end up paying out more than the other because life’s busy and it can be hard to find time to work out how to share costs. But that can mean the person who thinks about opening the saving account ends up putting money from their personal account only into it. Unfair and also probably means you save less.

If your child has another parent discuss how you want to save for the next generation and do it together, whether setting up a direct debit from a joint account or both chipping in from your separate accounts (why, you could even forward them this post!)

Share

Junior Isas have to be opened by parents or guardians, but other people can pay into them, just share the details and ask for contributions on special occasions. Some companies make this extremely easy, AJ Bell, for example, lets you share a link for friends and family to pay into a Junior stocks and shares Isa.

Beanstalk is a handy app that lets other people contribute and also get cash back on their shopping towards a Junior Isa.

5. You can use a calculator to think about how much to save, but don’t let it put you off starting

How much to save? It’s not always easy to work out how much what you put aside now will equate to in the future. There are calculators to give you a rough idea. This one from Hargreaves Lansdown lets you play around with numbers. It reckons if you saved £20 a month for 18 years you’d have £6,933. That’s £4,320 of your own money set aside, plus £2,613 in investment growth. These calculators are based on assumptions that could be wrong so you need to take them with a pinch of salt, but it gives you something to work with. The above calculation assumes 5 per cent investment return, which could be lower or higher in reality, depending on what the stock market does in the coming decades. It also ignores inflation and charges.

MoneySavingExpert has one that lets you work out how much to save now for future university costs if you’re that way inclined (living costs, not tuition fees). Makes for slightly grim reading.

It’s so easy to procrastinate by working out how much to save and fretting about where to save or invest because there’s so much choice. As any productivity guru would say getting started is key. Just pick something, start little and often, even with £1, then in a year or two you can always decide to change things up or get more involved in managing investments.

Phew, glad this wasn’t actually a WhatsApp.

Thanks for reading!

Lx ✨

Hello, I’m Laura Whateley, welcome to home economics, a newsletter that I hope will make you feel more confident about how you manage money, on your own and with those you love, because it is becoming ever more important that we try to figure it out. Sign up here to get weekly ideas in your inbox.

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There is an overwhelming amount of money advice out there. Some invaluable, a lot wildly overpromising to MAXX your wealth via mysterious investment schemes.

Much suggests that getting on top of your finances is easy. I’m torn on this. On the one hand, I wrote a whole book to show that it really doesn’t have to be that hard. Thinking personal finance is complicated leads a lot of us to feel we can’t do it without the assistance of someone wearing a suit, which is NOT TRUE.

On the other, I think being “better” at money, by which I mean feeling more in control less “urgh, I am just so shit with money”, something I hear amazingly frequently as well as, perhaps “urgh, my partner/ parent/ sibling/ child/ friend is just so shit with money”, requires mastery of quite a lot of challenging things, practical and emotional. A work in progress for most of us. I’ve listed some of the big ones below.

It’s worth saying that I don’t think feeling in control of the money you do have is the same as feeling less anxious about whether there is enough of it, though there is obviously a strong correlation.

You may have noticed a trend for articles about how £100k is no longer considered a big income, which, given the UK living wage as an annual full-time salary works out at about £26k, says a lot about where we are. The cost of everything necessary (housing, food, energy, water, tech, education, childcare, care for older people) and, arguably, trivial (£5 flat whites!) is getting painfully expensive, and running away from what most people earn.

There are no substackable top tips to solve a global economic crisis, but the current climate has made it vital that we work out how to best protect ourselves and our loved ones from life’s inevitable, costly curveballs.

This week I listened to an episode of the podcast Therapy Works “Agony Aunties: Coping with Financial Anxiety in Uncertain Times”, where the amazing and her daughters (see ) respond to a listener struggling with financial stress following COVID and the rising cost of living. They make the point that along with self compassion and accepting that these issues are structural problems over which we have no control, you are not just “shit with money”, it helps to find some agency rather than, as is a natural instinct when things feel overwhelming, to avoid and bury your head. Action cures fear, to some extent.

So what are the things that we need to action? Put another way, what do I think people who I would consider “good with money” have in their locker?

I base my unscientific theory on years of writing and interviewing people about their financial lives, while fighting my own personal battles with earning, paying down debt, attempting to save, late night emotional shopping, juggling the joint account with my husband, etc.

Here’s my two penny’s worth. The areas that I’ll look to write about in future posts:

1. Basic financial literacy

This is what most of us were not taught in school so can find, in mid-life, that we don’t actually know how a fixed-term mortgage really works, or what an index fund is, or how much we are paying in interest on a credit card because what is APR and how does it translate in pounds and pence? If you don’t know you are missing out or wasting cash. There’s a quote misattributed to various people about compound interest, “those who understand it earn it, those who don’t, pay it”.

You are also putting yourself in a vulnerable position within family life by, for example, deciding you don’t know enough so you won’t get involved, a problem if your relationship ends or the person you rely on to understand and be in charge of it all dies. A sadly common situation for women in particular.

2. An ability to be intentional about where you spend, save and invest

Sort of related to financial literacy, but a step further and a bit more about shopping. You understand what a pension is, but what pension product to pick and how much to put in it? Why have you got the same bank account you had since you were 18? What are all those subscriptions actually costing you? How is the company selling what you are buying making its profit? Did you read the Ts&Cs? (ofc not).

Being on top of this is easier said than done because there is SO MUCH CHOICE, it is extremely easy to spend without noticing quite how much it is costing us - thanks, Apple Pay - and we are all pressed for time.

I look forward to helping with this because there are few things I find more satisfying than highlighting a rip-off (I spent a decade doing this for The Times as its Troubleshooter) or discovering a money-saving hack or an interesting business that has created something really useful. I am starting a specific feature within home economics called “Is it worth it?”, where I will go through the small print of popular consumer products, services or trends so you don’t have to. Sign up to read.

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3. An awareness of your own (and other people’s) messy money psychology

The fact that we struggle to save, or spend guilt-free, or feel hacked off about our partner’s inability to budget, often has very little to do with the actual numbers on our bank statements, and everything to do with our humanness and what we witnessed growing up, which will be different from everyone around us.

We need some inner reflection and awareness of all the weird and wonderful psychological, cultural, behavioural reasons that money makes us feel tense, exposed, or emotional. I love writing about this, I always feel grateful that it’s not just me.

Take loss aversion, a cognitive bias that research suggests leads us feeling much, much worse about losing than we feel good about gaining, even if the outcome is the same, which can lead to a reluctance to invest for the future, as well as spicy arguments with a spouse. If you can recognise it, it’s easier to overcome.

4. A realistic assessment of your own resilience and capacity for risk

Many people become evangelical about the importance of being financially engaged after they have experienced a major life event or traumatic experience that changed their means and outlook, or resulted in problem debt. Unexpected bereavement, redundancy, a cancer diagnosis, divorce, infertility, experience of domestic abuse, caring for someone who has dementia or a mental health condition. Statistically, at least a couple of these experiences will cross your path, if they haven’t done already, and it pays to think about what it might mean for you or your family’s personal finances if and when they occur. Alongside the more pedestrian experiences that can change your earning ability and outgoings, from becoming a parent, to buying a home, changing careers or retiring one day.

Understanding your appetite as well as capacity for risk, not just how much you use Paddy Power but how much you need in a savings pot in order to sleep well at night, what you would do if your income dried up, whether you have a will and life insurance, or are someone who fancies a prenup and so on, is an important part of managing your budget while setting goals for the future.

This is personal as everyone has different levels of security and support network. If you have a life partner, you need to work on this together, which brings me to my last point…

5. The confidence to be transparent and to share

I think it is essential to be able to communicate about all of the above with loved ones and friends, and work out how to create transparency about money within a couple or family that has shared bills and commitments. Personal finance may often be sold as working on individual gain but we rarely manage household finances in isolation, especially in an era where one income does not stretch far enough to meet most families’ needs and people cannot afford to buy a home without an informal loan or gift. We need to think about responsibilities we have to others that are invested alongside us and allow ourselves to accept that we don’t have to shoulder everything alone, finding a balance between financial independence and relying on help from other people. Plus there’s nothing like a bit of accountability to keep us on the straight and narrow.

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I’d love to hear any thoughts and questions on money and relationships, or topics you’d like to see covered, too. Any other things you think are an essential part of being “good” with money. You can send me a message or reply below.

And because I’m all for doing personal finance with other people, I encourage you to start a discussion with someone you care about, and forward them this article.

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Thanks for reading,

Lx