This summer I’ve been on the hoof—literally and metaphorically. My husband Josh and I went on a month-long roadtrip through the American West. Our main destination was Paintrock Ranch in Wyoming for my writing workshop with the great Larissa Fasthorse and Ranchlands, a stockmanship clinic with my favorite horseman, and then a few more thousand miles to see family in South Dakota, watch my cowboy mounted shooting teacher compete at Western finals, wander in Yellowstone National Park, do some reporting on horseback, check out the new Theodore Roosevelt Presidential Library (which is SO worth a visit), and stop at nearly every thrift store and antique mall in our path. It was an illuminating, wildly fun, sometimes-heartwrenching time…many more thoughts on all that forthcoming. Along with a big new project. But in the meantime…..

Want some free & fabulous summer reading? I’m giving away two lovely books by physician authors just for fun. Author Rebecca Thompson MD will be joining us for a special session of Writing Medicine this fall on the theme of women’s health and Where it Hurts includes a wonderful essay by Jordana Spitzer MD, who joined me last year for a writing (and horseback riding!) workshop at Paintrock Ranch in Wyoming. All you have to do to enter is share this Substack post with someone you think might enjoy it (and send me a screenshot or email forward) to info@laurelbraitman.com.

Write with Me!

It’s been a long while since we’ve had an OG Writing Medicine session and if you’re new here—these are 90 minute, drop-in reflective writing workshops. Historically they have been only for healthcare professionals and/or their loved ones but this month’s is open to everyone. We write in response to bespoke prompts, we share, we listen, and we usually cry at least once (happily, sadly, every-which-way). The format is changing somewhat and I am going to be bringing in subject matter experts to support you—from editors to other writers— but in the meantime, we will have a reunion of sorts on August 22nd at 10am PT/1pm ET! You will have 90 minutes of guided writing time interspersed with a few lessons from me. This will be generative writing and you do not need to bring anything besides pen/paper. If you’d like to bring an existing project—you are welcome to use the prompts I offer to work on that. As always, no writing experience necessary. I can’t wait to see you.

Sign Up Here

I ADORE Will & Kristin Flanary (better known as Dr. and Lady Glaucomflecken on Tiktok/IG/Youtube) and now they’ve created a private membership for healthcare professionals called Humor & Humanity in Medicine. It’s an online space where medical professionals can connect and talk about stuff that’s not normally talked about—plus events, webinars and workshops. I’m joining them on August 14 to run a special Glaucomflecken-ified version of Writing Medicine. It’s going to be fun and ridiculous and hopefully helpful. It’s for members only and if you click on the below link and enter the code LAUREL you will get 10% off through August 30.

Sign Up Here

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

Unlike the unread books and magazines that tend to pile up around my house in skyscrapers of shame, podcasts don’t judge me. Bonus: they also distract me when I can’t stand to hear my own thoughts (aka most of the time) and keep me company while I do things like deadhead the roses. Soooooo I’m excited to announce that soon, I too, will be able to help you suppress your own thoughts and feelings while you do household chores.

Together with Kristin Flanary—one half of the amazing, satirical medical couple, the Glaucomfleckens—I’m doing a mini-series on their Knock, Knock Hi podcast we’re calling “Under the White Coat” where we’ll be diving into the most taboo of subjects among medical professionals: money, religion, feelings, dating on the job, illness as a healthcare professional, ill advised crushes, and so much more. To do the best job of this we can—we want your help. We’d love to hear your stories about anything you feel like you can’t talk about at work—we know there’s a lot. And we’ll do it for you. You can leave us a voicemail here or send us a DM on social media or email me at Laurel@laurelbraitman.com. Anonymity is guaranteed if you want it.

Share your story with us!

No-Nonsense Advice for No-Nonsense Writers

Due to budget cuts Stanford closed the ticket office without giving those of us hosting events any warning and without any plan in place. So I apologize to anyone who signed up for our virtual discussion series Writing and Publishing Rx and had issues. It’s mortifying to me that an institution with such resources left us hanging but it did— so I have suspended ticket sales until we have a proper ticket sales system in place. We will be announcing sign ups soon via this newsletter and have some AMAZING folks booked in 2026—on subjects ranging from how to break into TV writing to pitching editors more successfully to building your social media following. Future guests include the bestselling author and my favorite source of writing and publishing advice online, Courtney Maum; the podcasting genius, musician and host of Song Exploder, Hrishikesh Hirway; television writer, book author and death doula Darnell Walker, and many more. We will also offer downloadable recordings of past sessions with folks like chef and bestselling author Samin Nosrat and science and health journalist Eli Cahan MD.

Some good medicine to cheer you up if you need it….

• “As the Season Turns” podcast. This is the most delightful and calming monthly podcast dedicated to exactly what it sounds like. Think of it like a slow news podcast but for the natural world.

• I’ve given up Tiktok but luckily I found the Glasgow Witch before I did and now I subscribe to her “Witch’s Wheel” calendar (that plugs into whatever digital calendar you use) and offers meditations and other ideas for rituals to mark the passage of time.

• The best part of this video is the comments. Trust me.

• There are still a few spots left for my (and Macarthur genius! Larissa Fasthorse’s) writing workshop at Paintrock Ranch in Wyoming this summer with Ranchlands. We will write, swim in the creek, ride through the canyons and mesas, and practice telling the stories that matter most in one of the most stunning landscapes I’ve ever seen. Join us!

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

I keep seeing gift guides with a lot of the same stuff on them….but here’s what my personal one would include: donkeys (and a dutch door to my office so they could drop by for carrots), time to write, the smell of California sages after a rain, friendship with a wild raven or crow, a great night’s sleep, the ability to drink coffee after 2pm without staying up all night, a teleportation machine for friends who live far away so we could do quick, unplanned drop-bys, a billion dollars to give away just like MacKenzie Scott (Bezos) does (how fun must those phone calls be?!), the self confidence of an average male job applicant1…and so much more. The best things in life are—if not free—still not really for sale.

I’m writing you today with a few things that are however…

The first is the next installment in our virtual discussion series at Stanford Medicine, Writing and Publishing Rx, that offers practical writing tips you usually only get from close writer friends.

No-Nonsense Advice for No-Nonsense Writers

Eli is an award-winning health media journalist and physician at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital and the Stanford School of Medicine. His investigative journalism has been featured in the Washington Post, LA Times, Rolling Stone, USA Today, and the Guardian, and on ABC, NPR, and elsewhere. We will cover topics including: techniques for transforming complex medical or scientific topics into interesting stories for broad public audiences; specific ingredients in excellent science reporting and how to cultivate them yourself; tips for successful pitches; ethics of writing about sensitive subjects in medicine and public health; best practices for communicating with editors; how Eli knows a good idea when he sees it and how you might too; and much, much more.

Our session will be hosted by me and you will have the chance to ask your own questions. 5:30-7pm PT/8:30pm-10pm ET, Weds December 3rd. All sessions are recorded in case you can’t join us in person.

Join Us

Ranchlands Black Friday Sale

The good people of Ranchlands are offering a 20% discount on workshops THIS WEEK ONLY. They never have sales and this a good one—it means you can sign up for my writing and horseback riding workshop July 5-10, 2025 in Wyoming at a discount. I will be co-leading with my dear friend the Macarthur genius and Broadway play write Larissa Fasthorse. We are so excited for a week of creek swimming, riding through the epic landscapes of the ranch, sharing our work around the campfire, and eating our meals at a long table under the big open skies with you. Use code EXPLORE at checkout.

Join Us

Writing Medicine: Special Edition

On December 13th 10am PT/1 pm ET we will be doing a special session of Writing Medicine, our virtual writing workshop for healthcare professionals and their loved ones— focused on publishing creative work in academic medical journals. Dr. Eve Rittenberg is our special guest—editor of JAMA Internal Medicine’s popular “Viewpoints” column. She is an author herself, as well as a primary care internist at the Brigham and Women’s Hospital Fish Center for Women’s Health and an Assistant Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School. The session will cover best practices for submitting creative writing for the Viewpoints column specifically, as well as submitting fiction, nonfiction and poetry to other academic medical journals that accept creative work more generally. Eve will talk about what she is looking for and you will have the opportunity to write in response to prompts designed to help you get started on essay submissions appropriate for these journals. The session is virtual and as in every Writing Medicine session, you will have the opportunity to share your work with your peers if you so choose. This session will be recorded and available for folks who can’t join in person.

Join Us

Some good medicine to cheer you up if you need it….

• My favorite Thanksgiving recipe is this stuffing. It’s also SO good leftover and reheated with a fried egg on top for breakfast that I make a double batch.

• Sometimes you just need a cry about the people who are waiting for you on the other side. This is an excellent soundtrack for that.

• It’s not often that I’m nearly moved to tears by a scientific study—-but oh boy this is a good one—bowhead whale DNA offers clues for fighting cancer. CAN YOU IMAGINE IF WHALES HOLD THE KEYS TO OUR OWN SALVATION (at least from cancer)?!! A species we drove to the precipice of extinction and then changed our minds about?! It feels perfect somehow.

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

How’s your cozy season going? I’ve been trying to get into the spirit—working on a puzzle, making pickle meatballs and trying to find a scented candle that isn’t carcinogenic. If you’re like many of us, you might have missed the announcements from NIH (and elsewhere) about the crap that most scented candles, waxmelts (and air fresheners) release into the air.1 These include volatile organic compounds (VOCs) that can contribute to all sorts of health problems including cancer.

It’s not all candles, the safest choice is to look for those that don’t contain any dyes and are solely soy or beeswax or coconut wax and use pure essential oil for fragrance. The problem in the scented candle aisle at Target (or even most high-end home stores) is that you can’t tell from reading the labels which candles have a soy-paraffin mix (because they just say “soy” or “soy blend” on them) and which candles don’t. Price point doesn’t matter—some of the most expensive on the market use soy blends and the most synthetic fragrance. These fragrance formulations are proprietary (meaning the company is not required to share ingredients) and may contain substances that are harmful when inhaled. So the label is no help there either. It’s on us then, the consumer, to try and figure out which candles may hurt us or not. The best option I’ve found are these. They come in various sizes/varieties—including pumpkin— and unlike some all-natural candles they actually throw a good scent.

This kind of research is exhausting. And it comes up with nearly every home purchase. Before I knew better I bought a couch covered in “performance fabric” because couches are EXPENSIVE and I spill everything. But just like candles, companies (looking at you Williams-Sonoma Home) don’t disclose, and probably don’t even know, what the coatings are made of on their performance fabrics. Sometimes these coatings contain PFAS (or perfluoroalkyl and polyfluoroalkyl substances) even though they may not even be useful,2 release microplastics,3 and may include other ingredients known to have health effects. Now I spend my evenings wondering what cool stuff is rubbing off on me while I watch TV. Relaxing!

Predicaments like these send a number of us in America down an ill-advised path….‘If “they” are putting toxins in our sofas and candles and spatulas are “they” also putting toxins in our vaccines’?? You can see how valid concerns about the ways public health has been actively undermined in this country can make many otherwise reasonable people more susceptible to medical misinformation and conspiracy theories.

So what do we do as consumers with too many choices and not enough information? As with the candles, the safest alternative is the simplest option—choosing an upholstery fabric, rug, or whatsit made from natural fibers, or buying from a company that shares lots of information about the coatings it uses. It’s the same for furniture, cooking implements, cookware, etc. If you’re choosing between a proprietary nonstick coating or a stainless steel pain—go for stainless steel. Cutting board or colander made of who-knows-what? Choose bamboo, wood or steel instead. As with food labels—it’s often the shortest list of ingredients (or materials) that will be the healthiest. And for things I am considering putting IN my body, that are not tightly regulated for safety such as supplements, I look up the brand or product category on Consumerlab.com. (I get the sense they are nerds like me who are trying to fill a hole that in many other countries is filled by governmental agencies tasked with the populace’s well being).

More No-Nonsense Writing Advice

This Wednesday evening (5:30-7pm PT, 8:30-10pm ET) will be our next Writing and Publishing Rx session, with the fabulous Dr. Emily Silverman—founder of the award-winning podcast and live stage show the Nocturnists. We meet virtually and you will have opportunities to ask Emily all of your most burning questions about starting your own podcast (or how to be a guest on someone else’s), what goes into a successful pitch, how to become a better speaker for audiences of 5 or 500, dealing with stage fright and anxiety, the ethics of writing/speaking about patients, balancing clinical practice with creative practice, the ways we might make public health less of a snooze fest, and much, much more. Our session will be recorded if you can’t join live.

Join Us

Some good medicine to cheer you up if you need it….

• I just read The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches and felt like it was a book version of getting under a quilt on a (nontoxic) couch with a mug of tea while the wind blows fall leaves outside.

• This horse remembers.

• Want to learn to tie a funcie bando? I do.

• I saw this Medusa hat in a museum shop last year and knew I needed it. Turns out I’m driving my Greek-myth obsessed nephew to school on Halloween and you better believe a gorgon is going to show up at his house at 6:30am. Maybe you need one too. Scary women have more fun.

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

It’s been a minute since you’ve heard from me. I’m so jealous of those of you who find a regular writing schedule freeing because it often makes me feel like a racoon who’s fallen into a trashcan. You know what does make me excited to reach out though? Having good stuff to share and I DO: a new virtual discussion series, Writing and Publishing Rx, that offers practical writing tips you usually only get from close writer friends. Also— a great book recc, a recap of last week’s writing and horseback riding retreat in Wyoming and more.

No-Nonsense Advice for No-Nonsense Writers

There seems to be so much instruction available about writing better sentences, plotting, or craft generally— but less about how to send a really good email to an editor you’ve never met or if it’s okay to submit to two places at the same time, or how soon is too soon to send a follow up email if you only hear crickets? There are great folks like Courtney Maum offering spectacular advice here on Substack (and via her books and courses) but there can never be enough. Which is why I’m thrilled to offer Writing and Publishing Rx— a virtual discussion series, together with Stanford Medicine’s Medical Humanities and the Arts Program. Our first two sessions were with bestselling chef and author Samin Nosrat and award-winning journalist and author Bonnie Tsui. Tomorrow we will host the #1 NYT bestselling author of Crazy Rich Asians, Kevin Kwan. All sessions are recorded in case you can’t join us in person. They are 90 minutes long and you will have chances to ask questions of Kevin and I both. We will cover topics including (but not limited to): writing good characters finding agents and editors who believe in you, adapting your work for television and film, getting creatively unstuck, how Kevin’s experiences with grief (and the American healthcare system) have affected his writing, fiction as advocacy, doing creative research and finding inspiration in the most surprising of places. I know that you’ll find him, just like I do, to be incredibly kind, insightful and generous with his hard-won wisdom.

Join Us

Ranchlands Wrap Up

I got to lead a writing and horseback riding retreat last week with a group of incredible folks on the Paintrock Ranch in Wyoming with the good people of Ranchlands Collective. We spent our mornings riding along the rivers, up and down the canyons and over the red hills, our lunches writing in meadows or under the cottonwoods, our afternoons swimming and writing some more, and our evenings around a campfire, sharing our work under dark skies crowded with stars. If I didn’t have so much photographic evidence, I’d wonder if I hallucinated the experience. I’ve already decided to do it again next July—this time with one of my best friends, the award-winning author, dancer and playwrite Larissa Fasthorse. Sign ups haven’t opened yet, but we will announce them soon. In the meantime, you can pick up a piece of your own Ranchlands magic via their online shop. I came home with a knife sheath and a bandana that I adore.

Speaking of friends…

Samin is the sister I never had. She is family. And I couldn’t be more excited about her new book Good Things. Maybe you saw her on Colbert last week or are listening to her on Fresh Air today, or going to see her live on tour— but if not, let me tell you that this is a book you need in your collection. And it’s not because in it Samin discloses just how hard I liked my eggs cooked (to a disgusting a degree if you ask her lol) or that it’s dedicated to a select few of us and it was a surprise that made me cry. I think this book is so special because it is full of the unfancy stuff Samin makes the most. My favorite salad dressing of hers is here (on page 117) and so is our friend Sarit’s ashura cereal recipe (page 146) that Samin made and put in my Christmas stocking last year (and I ate exclusively for three days because I couldn’t stand to eat anything else). It was hard work making this thing—and you wouldn’t know it because it looks so beautiful now. But maybe even more than Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat—which is an icon for a reason— this is a book of her heart and it will be one of yours too.

Get Your Copy!

Some good medicine to cheer you up if you need it….

• Back in July this cool news about a plant virus that kills cancer cells came out.

• 23 minutes of Yo-Yo Ma’s “Music for Global Health and Peace”

• Heartrending epitaphs ancient Romans wrote about their dogs.

• This very smart pig typing out very important thoughts.

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

I don’t know about you but I feel like I’m drowning in Substacks. It’s like the virtual version of the pile of New Yorker and New York Times magazines that always stacked up on the coffee table unread and shamed me because “Laurel, you could know more things!” “You could sound smarter at parties!” Well yes, I certainly could but instead I really need to watch the Mormon Momtok series on Hulu. Or talk to my students. Or look for vintage embroidered napkins on Etsy. This, however, is a shame-free space. For you AND for me. Last year I thought I’d send a newsletter every other week but then life happened and it’s been months. Also, no one really knows what Dark Horse means. Soooooo I am relaunching this newsletter with a new name and a bunch of new ideas very soon, but in the meantime I have some announcements and didn’t want to wait any longer to share.

Paintrock Writing + Horseback Riding Retreat

Next fall I will be leading a writing and horseback riding retreat at Paintrock Ranch in Montana with the good people of Ranchlands. There are only a few spots left! This is an exquisite place and the perfect opportunity to work on your own writing while soaking in the magnificence of the landscape and connecting with other writers. No prior riding or writing experience necessary. You can see a video of the ranch here from Katie Rodgers (thank you to the marvelous poet Joy Sullivan for sharing this video with me!).

Dates: September 14-19, 2025

Join me for a five-day writing and riding workshop in one of the most spectacular American landscapes.

Reserve Your Spot

Program

Every morning, after a delicious breakfast, we will set out on a half-day horseback ride through the ranch’s sage-scented meadows, along rushing creeks, and below colorful canyon walls. At lunchtime we’ll break for a picnic and a bit of writing and discussion in a meadow or beneath the golden fall foliage.

The afternoons will be devoted to your own writing inspired by the ranch’s dramatic landscapes, a series of craft lessons on compelling prose, structure, character development and evocative description, and individual sessions with me where you can ask specific questions about your own work and receive custom feedback. (Note: this is a generative workshop meaning you do not need to come with anything you’ve written previously).

In the early evenings we’ll get together again as a group and have a fantastic dinner made from local ingredients at a long table. After dinner, we will gather around the fire telling stories under skies of bright stars, talking about the challenges and joys of a creative life, and reflecting on our days. Anyone musical should bring an instrument.

All riding and writing levels welcome. This workshop is designed for those who want to reconnect with their own creativity, nonhuman nature, and their purpose—away from the pressures of daily life, in a magnificent setting.

Accommodations

The accommodations at the Paintrock Canyon Ranch are designed to put you as close to nature as possible, but with all the comforts of home. Large, private safari style tents are stylishly furnished with full-sized beds, bedside tables, dressers and chairs. These sturdy, elegant tents are located next to the Paintrock Creek at the entrance to the spectacular Paintrock Canyon.

Meals

All meals will be creatively prepared by a private chef, featuring Ranchlands beef and local produce and dairy whenever possible. Meals at the ranch will be seated, but casual and friendly and accompanied by wine and beer. They are happy to accommodate all dietary preferences with advance notice.

Location

The ranch, located near Hyattville, is 1 1/2 hours from Cody, Wyoming, and 3 hours from Billings, Montana. Both cities have airports with multiple daily flights from major airports. Roundtrip shuttles from the Cody airport to the ranch can be booked via Explore Cody Transportation.

Rates

$4,370 per person includes all activities, instruction, amenities, and meals. Tax and optional gratuity not included. All tents are private.

Who’s Laurel again?

I’m the author of the New York Times bestselling popular science book Animal Madness and the memoir What Looks Like Bravery (both from Simon and Schuster). I’m also the Director of Writing and Storytelling at the Stanford Medical Humanities and Arts Program at the Stanford School of Medicine and the founder of Writing Medicine, the global community of writing healthcare professionals. My writing revolves around the themes of emotional well-being (in humans and other creatures), loss, love, and our relationships with one another and the landscapes that shape us.

Sign Up Here

Please reach out with any questions at: stay@ranchlands.com or 719-641-2089.

In other news….

This Saturday I will be leading a virtual reflective writing workshop for anyone in healthcare or their loved ones at 10am PST-11:15am PST, October 19th. No previous writing experience necessary. No one turned away for lack of funds. You will have opportunities to write (and share if you so choose). This weekend’s session will be an exploration of the theme of bittersweetness. Join us!

Sign Up Now

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

While you are reading this I am on my first real-deal-honest-to-god vacation in six years. Don’t get me wrong—I take time off, often in cool places. But I am usually doing it with my computer strapped to me—at the tail end of a speaking or book event or because I’m somewhere teaching. The last time I went anywhere without my laptop was for my 40th birthday—my newish boyfriend (now husband) and I went HERE for three days and it was delightful (and also one third of the price it is now—Gaaaahhhh post-pandemic hotel prices). At this moment I am, hopefully, on the back of a moped in Rome. Or inside this library. Or eating on the street in Naples. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.

This week’s prompts will hopefully help you go somewhere too, even if you’re reading this in a breakroom at work, a hospital stairwell that’s mostly used for crying, or a bathroom stall (no judgement!).

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These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical. Second, tell yourself that you are already excellent, perfect even—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a taste, sound, sight, smell, noise, etc). Let me know how it goes! If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. Describe a moment you were away from home that was so good, you’d do anything to return to it. Describe every element of this moment. No detail is too small. Bring us there too.

2. Write a series of 3 scenes between two travelers (this can be fictional or something that has actually happened to you) in which (1) they meet for the first time, (2) spend time together (doing something or perhaps this is a glancing interaction), (3) say goodbye sooner than they want to.

3. Make a packing list for an activity or situation that you wouldn’t normally make a packing list for. There can be tangibles and intangibles on this list….things that maybe have not even been invented yet….and anything else you’d like. Title the list after the situation you’re writing it for.

If you’d like, you can post your response(s) in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and I’ll find them. I LOVE seeing what you write.

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“My mother got on a bike and it changed her life” by my friend Caroline Paul in the New York Times is fantastic (her new book will be too). “Where There is Struggle There is Hope,” the Israeli-Palestinian org Standing Together. This. A great podcast from the New Yorker.

Annnnnnd…I don’t think I’ve ever felt so seen by a Tiktok:

@g0ldenvirgin @g0ldenvirgin ♬ Calvin Roux by Snowdream - Snowdream

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Except for this one:

@marcuscolemancooperWatching turtle TV #turtle #tv

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On March 19th, I’ll be speaking at the CA Association of Nurse Practitioners Annual Education Conference at the Disneyland Hotel. Oh how I love NPs. I can’t wait.

Our next virtual reflective writing sessions for healthcare professionals and their loved ones, Writing Medicine, will be on March 16, 2024 at 10am with Dr. Pablo Romano and then on April 5th, 2024 with me.

Sign Up Now

Yours,

Laurel

Last week, the wise physician Bonnie Chen sent me a link to a This American life episode, “The Question Trap.” The whole show is good but it’s really Act Two: “When a common, seemingly innocuous question goes wildly off the rails,” that I suggest you listen to. It’s a story that will be familiar to a lot of us—someone engages us in small talk and asks a pretty basic question but is then horrified by our answer (if we risk answering honestly, that is).

For those of us who’ve survived something others are uncomfortable even imagining, these moments come at parties, work events, get-to-know-you mixers, first dates, and more. We ask ourselves in turn: How much do I say without making the person I’m talking to squirm? Do they really want to know? Can they handle the truth? Will I have to answer 50 more questions? Maybe I’ll just duck out now and see if I can find the cheese table? It’s a strange sort of decision tree that no one teaches us how to manage and we must each learn for ourselves.

If I have the energy and the asker seems authentically interested, then I try to answer honestly. But sometimes I don’t have it in me. Which is also fine. But in general I wish I didn’t have to worry about it so much. I wish we assumed people could handle whatever it was we said, even if that was: “I have two children but one is dead” or “my house was destroyed,” or “Sorry, I can’t tell you how my parents are because they died when I was a teenager.” Or the slightly less harrowing just as likely not to bring up for fear of making someone else uncomfortable: “I’m not fine actually, I’m having an eczema flareup” or “I just put my dog down” or even just “I’m feeling my mortality very acutely today and instead of making me exhilarated and grateful it’s making me really anxious and sad.”

So, let’s do an experiment together. Sometime this week or next a well-meaning person is going to ask you what they think is a simple question and I want you to answer honestly (as if it’s ME asking you). If what comes afterwards is a sort of confused silence, that’s just fine. Consider it slow progress towards building the world we want.

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Next thursday, February 29th, Dr. Alyssa Burgart and I will be teaching an op-ed and personal essay writing workshop for healthcare professionals. CME available. The last one was so much fun, we’re doing it again.

On Saturday March 2, I will be leading the low-cost virtual reflective writing workshop that’s open to healthcare professionals and their loved ones Writing Medicine. CME available.

Register Here

These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical. Second, tell yourself that you are already excellent, perfect even—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a taste, sound, sight, smell, noise, etc). Let me know how it goes! If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. Write both sides of a conversation in which one person reveals something deeply vulnerable. Make one of your characters do or say something in this conversation that surprises them about themselves. This can be fictional or a real conversation you’ve had.

2. Write about an ordinary moment that became, quite suddenly, extraordinary.

If you’d like, you can post your response(s) in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and I’ll find them and respond!

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The wonderful travel writer Gillian Longworth alerted me to this incredible tool for help saying no or yes to things and my life will never be the same. I can’t wait to read Dr. Elizabeth Comen’s new book about women’s pain “All In Her Head.” And…oh the pizazz…

@advancedstyleofficialJoyce Carpati #showing #youth #howtoage #agingwithstyle #aging #style #fashion #elegance #nyc #westvillage #ecclecticstyle #ecclectic #beyourself #goforit #wisdomfromelders #grandmasoftiktok #nanas #redshoes #nyfw

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These newsletters are free because I live with the eternal and boundless hope that, if you haven’t already, you will buy my book for yourself or for someone else who needs it.

Buy My Book

Yours,

Laurel

Occasionally I come across a Tiktok that I can’t help but watch ten times and then email to myself. Example A: this clip of Michelle Obama explaining that the best piece of advice she she ever got was from her parents who said: “Come home, we like you here.”

“My parents taught me that the world won’t always like you. But you can’t count on the world to like you. You come home to be liked. You go out there to get your education, earn a living..You won’t necessarily find people who will see you, love you…you get that here.”

@jayshettyLove this ❤️ Full interview with Michelle out NOW everywhere 🎙️

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Great advice. But what if your parents aren’t (or weren’t) as loving as Michelle’s? What if the people in your home made you feel anything but seen and wanted? Or perhaps you once had a place and people like this but don’t any more? What if you’re still building your chosen family? What if there isn’t a physical place you can retreat or return to? Well, you create it. You make a place for yourself in the world where you are loved. It’s not easy or clear. Sometimes it feels like you can’t afford it (financially or emotionally). Sometimes, you have to burn it down and start over through no fault of your own. Other times, it might feel constricting. Home (literal or metaphorical) comes with expectations, and hardest of all, for me anyway, it comes with the terror of loss. The better something is, the more I worry about losing it.

And yet? The alternative is to not open yourself up at all. I have so. many. thoughts. on this. I gave a whole talk about it in November (see below). The TLDR version is that we don’t get to choose. Pain is inextricable from joy. These things are not opposites, they are teammates.

So, if a home where we muster the courage to be loved and love ourselves is the destination, then this week’s prompts are a kind of map you might use to find it. As a wise woman once told me in rural Alaska, “if you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” Here’s to choosing our routes.

I have a new shop in which you can buy classes for yourself or give the gift of a class to a friend or loved one. February 15th I am teaching an Introduction to Memoir course (open to everyone), and on February 29th Dr. Alyssa Burgart and I are offering another Op-Ed and Personal Essay course for healthcare professionals. CME is available for all of these opportunities and recordings are available after the sessions in case you can’t attend in person.

As always we are also offering Writing Medicine sessions the first and third Saturdays of every month for healthcare professionals and their loved ones.

Register Now

These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical. Second, tell yourself that you are already an excellent writer—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a sound, sight, smell, noise, flavor etc). Let me know how it goes! If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. Home is a fantasy you are going to create right now. It can be based on a place you already have or know of, but please don’t limit yourself to reality. Instead, picture this: you open a door or gate and walk across a threshold into a place you’ve craved your whole life. What does it sound/look/smell like? What is there? Are you outside or inside? What are the views like? Who is there with you, if anyone? Are there animals? What is about to happen? Take us on a tour of this place using as much detail as you can.

2. Describe a time you felt a feeling of ‘home’ in the Michelle Obama sense. How did you know? Who were you with? What did it feel like in your body? Describe it as a scene in detail, using each of your senses. You can be any age.

3. Make a list of everything you love. Sounds dumb and obvious but I promise it’s not. Name ALL the things. Nothing is too small or too big. Too ephemeral or too basic. It will feel both impossible and silly until it doesn’t. Just keep going till the timer goes off. When you have your list, title it however you please and then hang it somewhere you will see it often. Send me a photo for extra credit.

If you’d like, you can post your response(s) in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and I’ll find them and respond! You can also email them to me at info@laurelbraitman.com.

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The fantastic writer/radio-person Chris Colin did a great episode of 99% Invisible on the struggle to create a Covid-19 memorial. I am also really loving Sari Botton’s Memoir Land substack and have been making a lot of these pickle-y meatballs (sounds gross but are in fact the opposite…I use ground turkey, if you don’t eat meat I bet Impossible burger would work just fine). And I just ordered this book (in time for Valentine’s day) and am excited to start reading.

We have a lot of writing workshops coming up for healthcare professionals and others, come join us.

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Yours,

Laurel

I am not a food writer. While I was working on my last book, one of my best friends, who IS a food writer and a chef, took one look at the scenes in which I’d written about the most delicious meal of my life (at a lakeside trattoria called Locanda La Tirlandana in Northern Italy) and crossed out my boring descriptions of the exquisite pasta. “You need to write about food like you write about everything else,” she said.

She is right of course. Because food is identity, family (for better or worse), memory, love, longing, desire, anxiety, pleasure. It is also grief.

Since then, I’ve tried to write about food a little more. This month I wrote about not wanting to fall in love and then falling in love anyway, in no small part because of salmon dip. This week’s prompts (below) should also help you use your senses and taste memories to wrestle with what’s meaningful to you.

But first…

I have a brand new shop in which you can buy classes for yourself or give the gift of a class to a friend or loved one. January 25th (Next Thursday!) is a Writing Through Loss workshop, February 15th is an Introduction to Memoir course, and on February 29th Dr. Alyssa Burgart and I are offering another Op-Ed and Personal Essay course for healthcare professionals. CME is available for all of these opportunities and recordings are available after the sessions in case you can’t attend in person.

As always we are also offering Writing Medicine sessions the first and third Saturdays of every month for healthcare professionals and their loved ones.

Register Now

These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical. Second, tell yourself that you are already an excellent writer—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a sound, sight, smell, noise, flavor etc). Let me know how it goes! If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. Make a list of every (very specific) taste you never want to forget. Number the list. Do not edit as you go. Just keep writing. Include as many details per taste as you can.

2. Describe a moment in which a smell or taste of a dish brought you back to another time or place. Write it as a scene. Include dialogue if you can.

3. Write a recipe for a dish that does not exist but should. It can be a recipe for peace in a place marked by war, it could be a recipe to treat your own longing for a person or time you would go back to but can’t, or a recipe for joy when you need it. What are the ingredients? The amounts? What are the directions? Do you need any specific equipment?

4. Describe a meal that changed you. Who was there? What did the air feel like? What did you hear? Use every detail you can to make it as real as possible.

If you’d like, you can post your response(s) in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and I’ll find them and respond! You can also email them to me at info@laurelbraitman.com.

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My friend, the amazing comic and writer Negin Farsad published a great piece about going on a healing (mushroom) retreat that surprised her. One of my favorite TED talks is now online, Dr. Diana Greene Foster on her groundbreaking work looking at the health outcomes of women with and without access to abortions. Watch it here. It was a busy fall, as such—you might have missed this story about the incredible woman who used her death from ovarian cancer to cancel 60 million dollars worth of others’ medical debt. Listen here.

@helmkasuar7Words pronounced wrongly😂 so funny 😂 which one is your favorite? #mispronounced #mispronouncingwords #wronglypronounced #funny #sofunny #wordswordswords #words #funnyvideos #funnycontent #laugh #laughing #funnytiktok #funnymoments #fy #fyp #foryou #foryoupage #fürdich #fürdichpage #fürdichseiteシ #fypシ

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Tomorrow I will be leading a low-cost virtual writing workshop that’s open to healthcare professionals and their loved ones. This week’s theme is asking better questions to get better answers.

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Yours,

Laurel

The other night I was flying into the Buffalo airport. It was a really long day, all my flights were delayed and every airport was full of people who seemed liked stretched rubber bands or mammalian IEDs. When we finally landed it was after midnight. As soon the plane stopped people did the thing that I hate, which is (regardless of row they are in or the fact that there was nowhere to go yet) they pop up and get their wheeled bags out of the overhead bins and start pushing forward.

This is when the stretched rubber band that was also me, snapped.

“Excuse me,” I said to a young man who was now pressing his way into me despite having been seated many rows back and was blocking my access to my own bag. I used my snarkiest voice and said “Do you have a tight connection?” There were definitely no more flights leaving that night. He looked taken aback and then annoyed and then his face hardened into something else.

“My grandmother is dying,” he said. “Any minute.”

Oh god. I was suddenly the villain in a parable. I looked at the young man more closely. He was wearing nylon shorts and hiking boots and holding a small plastic water bottle with the top cut off. Inside was a bit of water and two perfect black-eyed Susans bobbing over the side.

He saw me see the flowers.

“I was camping in Yosemite when I found out she was dying. I drove straight to the airport in what I was wearing with these flowers, she loves flowers.”

There was only one employee at the airport that night who could open the gate and they were unloading another plane first, so we had to wait on the tarmac. Passengers were restless and pissed. It was hot. The young man and me were smushed up against each other.

He told me his grandmother had wanted to die that morning but when she found out he was coming, she decided she to wait. He was hoping she was still alive.

We stood like this for 45 minutes. When they finally opened the door it was after 1am. The last I saw of him was a flash of his backpack as he sprinted down the corridor trying to keep his flowers from spilling out of the makeshift vase.

Today, I’m on another set of flights. I wish I could say that when folks popped up and started pushing forward that I smiled beatifically and let them pass. But I didn’t. The truth is that I was still annoyed AND I thought about the boy and his makeshift vase. I held both things at once and bemoaned the fact that as humans we’re excellent at finding things to be annoyed about in others and that personally, anytime I’m not annoyed by some small thing, it’s only because something much more terrible or tragic is happening in my life that is giving me perspective. Like a tree falling on the house distracting me from a splinter in my foot, I shift focus. Then when the crisis passes, I’m back to my minor irritations. Surely though there must be another way and perhaps it’s the the memory of the young man—whose name I didn’t get but who I will always now imagine as a boy named Sue. I will try— every time I land— to imagine him as my personal saint of travelers and hope he keeps me kind.

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These newsletters are free because I live with the eternal and boundless hope that, if you haven’t already, you will buy my book for yourself or for someone else who needs it. (The writer Jeannette Walls said she “freaking loves this book” in case you need a recc that isn’t from the author herself lol.

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These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical. Second, tell yourself that you are already excellent, perfect even—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a taste, sound, sight, smell, noise, etc). Let me know how it goes! If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. Describe a moment your perspective shifted from something you were annoyed about or frustrated by into gratitude, awareness or understanding. This could be a person, place or thing that suddenly changed character for you. Describe this moment as a scene.

2. Make a packing list for yourself for the journey that’s next few years of your life. Imagine this as a trip you’re setting out on. You can only bring one bag but in it fits everything you’ll need that you don’t have already and it includes intangibles (think physical objects but also skills, capacities, attributes or bits of insight you want to take with you). There is no weight limit ;) Number this list and write until the timer goes off.

3. There was a moment in which you did not give someone the benefit of the doubt that you should have. Go back in time and rewrite this scene as if you had.

If you’d like, you can post your response(s) in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and I’ll find them and respond!

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The best talk I saw at the TED conference this year was death doula Alua Arthur and it is finally out so I can share it with you too! “Why thinking about death helps you live a better life.”

In this week’s Oldster, Chris J. Rice shared a quote from the composer John Cage in his Lecture on Nothing that really stuck with me: “We carry our homes within us, which enables us to fly or to stay—to enjoy each.”

I’ve seen these videos before. But I’m not sure you can ever see watch happy cows enough. Look at that joy!

@sowholesomeLOOK AT EM GO! 🐮 #wholesome #mademesmile #wholesomemoment #wholseomecontent

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This Saturday I will be leading a low-cost virtual writing workshop that’s open to healthcare professionals and their loved ones Writing Medicine. We will spend an hour writing together and this week’s theme is faith and health.

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Come say hi in person! You can find out more information and how to attend on my events page.

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

First things first: we missed a couple newsletters because I gave myself a vacation (I was so in need of this time off that I didn’t have time to write newsletters in advance). You probably didn’t notice, but if you did—thank you for your patience. I was in Italy to do a talk about the mental health benefits of storytelling for healthcare professionals and then I took some time off to head North to Lake Como to deliver a copy of What Looks Like Bravery to the Rockefeller Foundation where I had the gift of a writing residency in 2017…and also where I had a magnificent day that I wrote about in the book. It was the kind of day in which no one was dying (at least not quickly)— involving a sexy speed boat, the best lunch I’ve ever eaten, the realization that I was falling in love, and also laughing so hard we could barely breathe. It was definitely a Last Good Day and usually we don’t realize when those are happening. Usually we only recognize them in hindsight. But on this day, I knew it. And it was so good it hurt.

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These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical. Second, tell yourself that you are already excellent, perfect even—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a taste, sound, sight, smell, noise, etc). Let me know how it goes! If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. Describe one of your own last good days. One you either did or did not know was happening at the time. Where were you? Who were you with? What were you doing? It may be mundane and that is just fine. Take us into the scene and try to write it in present tense. (Eg. “We are sitting in a patch of sunlight by the window…”)

2. You are given a chance to relive one day in your life over again that you perhaps didn’t appreciate at the time. You can make one decision differently than you did when you lived this day the first time. Would you change anything or choose to relive the day exactly as it was? Take us into this day with you. Start with opening your eyes.

If you’d like, you can post your response(s) in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and I’ll find them and respond!

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A marvelous thing that happened when I was traveling is that I got a message from Dr. Bonnie Chen, author of this heart-wrenching piece in the SF Chronicle about the death of her son and her own grief but written as a letter to her own past and future patients. I am always shook by good writing around loss and I think it’s especially brave and important for physicians and other healthcare professionals to share about their own grief. It is an act of courage that humanizes all of us.

The writer Sara Peterson wrote “Some Truths About Writing a Book” that might be the truest thing about book writing and publishing I’ve ever read. If this is your dream too, please go read this immediately.

I joined Tiktok reluctantly and now I’m spending way too much time there, but gems like this video make it worth it. What happens when the AuADHD fairies age out of the manic pixie dream girl phase? Watch to find out.

@in.play.we.trustWhat happens after AuDHD Fairies age out of the MPDG era? #ADHDandAutism #AuDHD #autisticwomen #actuallyautistic #neurodivergentwomen

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On June 28th, I will be leading a low-cost virtual writing workshop that’s open to everyone called Writing Bravely. We will spend an hour writing together and I will share best practices for being a more vulnerable and authentic voice on the page. Also a few thoughts on where you might submit your work.

Register Here

I will be a keynote speaker at the Missouri Hospital Association Leadership Forum in Missouri and the Maine Hospital Association Summer Forum this week. Next month I will be speaking at the Chautauqua Institute in partnership with Interfaith America. Come say hi!

You can find out more information and how to attend on my events page.

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

I was at the TED conference in Vancouver this week where I led a few workshops with one of my favorite humans on planet earth, the NYT bestselling author and graphic journalist Wendy MacNaughton. We called it “The Art of Paying Attention” (which is also the title of her TED talk that I highly recommend). Due to a travel snafu at the last minute, Wendy couldn’t attend in person. We were so sad. We tried to cancel. We worried there was no way to do a half-live, half-zoom workshop that wasn’t super awkward. But the good people at TED very strongly suggested we didn’t cancel. And OMG I’M SO GLAD WE LET OURSELVES BE CONVINCED. It taught us that we could do such a seemingly-strange format, and not only that, but that it could be delightful. So, in this week we will be doing a version of Wendy and my workshop. If you’re inspired, I suggest signing up for her excellent newsletter with drawing prompts and lessons called Grown-Ups Table.

Today’s newsletter will look a little different than our regular format, because I am going to ask you to write and DRAW.

Ready, set, GO!

Wendy and I both love Sister Corita Kent, the radical nun and artist who taught art at Immaculate Heart College in 1960s Los Angeles. As Wendy says she “became known for her vibrant, influential pop-art screen-prints that combined text and images to powerful effect. Unlike her pop art peers (think Warhol), she had a strong socially-engaged voice and didn’t shy away from “mistakes”, including drips and smears in her finished pieces.”

In her life and work, Sister Corita practiced the art of paying attention. Often to things that we might not consider ‘beautiful’ or noteworthy. And in doing so, she made them both beautiful AND noteworthy. She often used a very simple tool she called a finder, to help her notice details in her field of vision.

Wendy will explain:

A finder is basically a piece of paper with a rectangular window that helps focus our attention on the world “one piece at a time.” (Sister Corita’s words.) In our day to day lives, with all the visual stimulus we have going on around us, we probably never notice little things like an old car’s bumper. Or the edge of a wooden chair. Or someone’s painted fingernails. We’re so overwhelmed that we just don’t see them.

But when we focus in on the world one piece at a time - when we give it our attention - we begin to actually see what’s in front of us.

Assignment

The Drawing Part.

Alright, Dark Horses….

Let’s make ourselves some finders. You just need a piece of paper and scissors. Here are step by step instructions, starting upper left:

Now, take your finder and look around your room. Or your bathroom. Or step outside your front door. What do you see? Look closely. See how things look different when you remove them from their busy backgrounds.

After you look around a little, choose a subject. It can be anything. A bit of a leaf that overlaps over a building. The base of a lamp. Sometimes the most banal things end up being the most interesting when you really examine them. Like the shoelace. (It’s everything!)

One you’ve chosen a subject, use your finder to create a composition. If I was going to draw the shoelace, where would I put it inside the frame of the finder. Would it be at the top? Running across the bottom? Or maybe it would cut the frame in half at a diagonal. Whatever feels most Shoelacey to you. Remember, you do you.

Now it’s time to draw your object.

Draw a frame on your paper, the same shape as the window in your finder.

Now draw your object within the frame on the paper, just as you composed it in your finder. As you draw, be sure to keep looking closely at your object as you draw. You are drawing what you SEE. Notice tiny details you didn’t see before. Can you discover something new and unexpected? I bet you can. Be sure to draw it all. If you want to use text to annotate, go for it. But not too much.

Now, back to me— Laurel—-for the writing part!

Just a reminder: these writing prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think or draw) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical.

Second, tell yourself that you are already excellent, perfect even—if only for the next 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself and your work).

Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a taste, sound, sight, smell, noise, etc). The way we tell the biggest stories is by describing something small and specific. Grounding your writing in physical and sensory details you might not otherwise notice, makes it possible for a reader to see and feel and hear the world through your eyes/mind/heart/ears (or that of your characters').

This is why we read: to experience the world through someone's else's point of view. Good luck! And remember, you are already good at this. 

Here are your prompts. Choose ONE:

Got it? Choose one. The first goes with the object you drew. The second can go with the object, or you can use the finder to identify a new object and write about that. Up to you. Remember to write by hand, and incorporate it into the drawing if you want. Or just do it on another piece of paper.

Set your timer for seven minutes.

And begin.

(tick tick tick tick tick tick)

DING!

That’s it! YOU DID IT.

Part of making is sharing and connecting. Wendy and I both would love to see what you’ve drawn/written.

ALSO: Everyone who posts instantly becomes an official member of the Attention Club! Welcome and congratulations.

If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and @wendymac. We will respond to you, I swear it.

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Oakland, Los Angeles and Brooklyn! I have been a part of Pop Up Magazine for nearly 12 years now and have done stories on everything from parrots who witness crimes to what it’s like to online date in the Alaskan bush. We are doing one final FAREWELL TOUR starting this Sunday at the Paramount Theater in Oakland. May 2nd we will be at the Theater at the Ace Hotel in Los Angeles and on May 4th we will be at BAM in Brooklyn, NY. Oakland and NY are already sold out but the LA show still has a few tickets available. Come out and say hi. More info here. (Also, it’s still a secret, but I will be giving away copies of my book at each show!)

The TED conference is famous for the red circle of carpet under speakers and the talks themselves. But it should be famous for the snacks. They are free for attendees and verrrry specific (one year it was almost entirely energy bars made of crickets). This year, there were a lot of things with Stevia and also dates. But omg my favorite were these gummies made from real fruit.

Another good recc?

That would be Sari Botton’s Oldster Magazine. Holy cow it’s SO good it makes me want to be a much better writer, which is honestly my highest compliment.

Los Angeles! June 14th I will be in conversation with the wonderful Hope Edelman (bestselling author of Motherless Daughters, Motherless Mothers and much more) at Zibby’s Bookshop. Info here.

Chautauqua, NY! July 11th I will be doing a lecture at the Chautauqua Institute as part of the Interfaith Lecture Series. Info here.

If you don’t happen to be in those places, or if you’re looking for writing workshops and not book events, do not fret. We have a number of upcoming workshops right here!

Sign up now

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

Greetings from NYC where I am so thrilled to be. The city has always felt like a national park to me, the scale and thrum is comfortably humbling in the same way it feels to stand in a grove of towering redwoods or at the edge of the Grand Canyon. I can’t wait to roam the streets. In the meantime, I hope you find the below helpful.

This week’s prompts are inspired by a question a friend asked me this week: “How do you have boundaries with people you love when you know you’re going to lose them sooner rather than later?” This could be aging parents or other family members, people you are caregiving for or not, a partner or friend with whom you know time is short. I answered with a wiscrack: “Just tell them you need some time alone now so that you can appreciate them one day when they’re gone.” But also, I was serious!

In 2020, and the long seemingly endless middle of the pandemic, me and my family were living in a construction zone, washing dishes in the shower, while I was trying to keep my mom from dying of Covid so she could die from pancreatic cancer. It was a dark time punctuated by moments of extreme beauty. I was full of anticipatory grief for what was coming. That is, I knew I’d miss her terribly, horrifically, forever and also, I couldn’t sit in that realization the whole day long because it was like swallowing lava. I needed to take breaks from all that precious time to watch Indian Matchmaker and eat salt and vinegar chips alone in my bed and ignore text messages. I suppose you could call this “boundaries” or “self care” but those words have always annoyed and confused me. I would call it “numbing out because otherwise I will suffocate” or “life support streaming time” or “what you have to do to survive another day without murdering someone who’s probably dying anyway or saying something you’ll regret and then spend years feeling guilty about.”

So this week we are going to give ourselves a little gift. It’s the only kind of self-care I believe in:

FORGIVENESS

For you.

Though once you give it to yourself, you tend to share it with others too.

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These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical. Second, tell yourself that you are already excellent, perfect even—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a taste, sound, sight, smell, noise, etc). Let me know how it goes! If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. You walk into a magical elevator with a single button that says forgiveness. You have 7 min, the amount of time you’re in the elevator to write down every single thing you’d like to be forgiven for. Anything you write will be forgiven by the time the door opens. Go.

2. You are suddenly able to travel backwards in time but not as yourself. You can only choose to be someone else who deserves your forgiveness. Describe a moment in this person’s or other being’s life, but as them, using the first person and also present tense. Try to engage all your senses and feel free to use dialogue.

If you’d like, you can post your response(s) in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and I’ll find them.

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Until recently I hadn’t been to Disneyland since I was 12 years old. It feels ungodly expensive now and there is an app you have to learn to navigate and so many Disney tip boards and websites dedicated to helping you understand the park that it’s all a little overwhelming…but omg we went a few weeks ago in honor of my nephew’s 9th birthday and watching him and my other nephews gaze at fake elephants in a fake forest with real joy was a happiness that I’m taking to the grave. What I thought would feel like ground zero of American capitalism and a gross commercialization of childhood felt like the opposite of that. Or rather, that exists too…right alongside the delight and the exquisite detail of the rides and grounds and the deliciousness of the caramel apples. I was blown away by how much I love it.

Another unexpectedly delightful thing has been MEETING YOU IN PERSON. I am still in somewhat of a fugue state after seeing so many of you in Ojai, Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco. Hearing your stories about your own lost loved ones (human and nonhuman), your own floods and wildfires, your dating travails, and your own epic journeys and broken/mending/mended hearts has been an honor of a lifetime. Thank you.

One person who came out in Portland and introduced herself is the poet Joy Sullivan. Following her on IG is like medicine for your feed, I swear it.

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New York City! Tomorrow night, April 7th I will be in chatting with the amazing Maria Popova of Brainpickings/the Marginalian at PandT Knitwear. Info here.

Stanford University! On April 15th I’ll be giving the keynote lecture at the Medical Humanities and the Arts Symposium at the Stanford School of Medicine. Info here.

Los Angeles! June 14th I will be in conversation with the wonderful Hope Edelman (bestselling author of Motherless Daughters, Motherless Mothers and much more) at Zibby’s Bookshop. Info here.

If you don’t happen to be in those places, or if you’re looking for writing workshops and not book events, do not fret. We have a number of upcoming workshops right here!

Sign up now

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

We have some new subscribers…Welcome! I’m so honored you’re here. I will never EVER take you for granted. As such, I hope you find the below helpful. And while I intend the prompts to be writing prompts, they don’t have to be. You can think about them, record voice memos in response, draw your answers, or just read this letter and file them away in your subconcious. Like any good politician, my creative brain will answer a prompt with whatever it wanted to say in the first place. And this past week (in which my new book came out!)—-that is “OH MY GOD PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT ME!!! WHAT DO I DO?! This is SO uncomfortable. MAKE IT STOP.” Also, “What if they STOP?! Please, God, don’t let them stop.” And “I DON’T DESERVE THIS. Or wait, yes I do! No I don’t! When is Oprah calling?!” I’m tired just typing this. And you don’t have to be mid book-launch, to feel this way. I call it the “baby shower feeling.” (Note: I have never had a baby or a baby shower but this feeling is how I imagine it feels to be opening presents in the center of a circle of well-intentioned people you don’t want to disappoint who are paying extreme attention to your facial expressions.)

So this week we are going to write about some of these worries, concerns and fears. The big and the little. The conflicting ones. The messy ones. The ones you used to have and don’t anymore. The ones that make you laugh. The ones you just started having recently. Like losses, one worry has a way of bringing up all the other ones. And experiencing it can feel like tugging on the loose string of sweater, before you know it you’ve unraveled a whole skein of them. So, we’ll go in together.

As in everything, you’re not alone, even if it feels that way.

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These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write (or think) for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be kind of magical. Second, tell yourself that you are already excellent, perfect even—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a taste, sound, sight, smell, noise, etc). Let me know how it goes! If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. Write a list of every single thing you’ve ever been scared of or worried about—start with the earliest things you can remember and work your way forwards in time. Do a line break between each. Don’t stop and think too hard or edit your list as you go. There is no fear or worry too silly to list. And if you want to skip around and not work chronologically, that’s fine too. Think about the ridiculous fears and the biggest ones you can barely write down lest your superstitious self worries they’ll come true (I promise this list is not a conjuring). Include them all. Keep going till the timer goes off.

2. Choose one worry from the list you just wrote and spend the next 7 minutes writing a numbered, step-by-step survival manual for facing it should it come true (it can be one you have experienced in real life or not). Eg. instructions for dealing with the monster under your bed that you never actually met as a kid, or your step by step approach to surviving a plane crash on a deserted island. Or maybe it’s a worry that has come true, the loss of someone close to you or a breakup you didn’t see coming. As with #1, don’t stop and edit yourself or overthink. And stick to the instruction manual format. Think Ikea instructions or Wikihow articles. You can even include diagrams.

3. You are a coach, only instead of coaching a team, you are coaching a past version of yourself through something this self has no idea is coming. Write the locker room style speech you’d give this version of yourself. Feel free to use sports metaphors. This might be the only time I ever ask this of you ;)

If you’d like, you can post your response(s) in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman and I’ll find them.

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Some of you may have found me via Samin Nosrat’s newsletter. She is the kind of friend I could not survive my own life without. She wrote a brand new recipe inspired by my new book (and Deb Perelman of Smitten Kitchen). It’s posted on my instagram here and it’s THE MOST DELICIOUS HOT FUDGE SAUCE you will ever eat. I swear it. Just don’t forget the flaky sea salt.

Did you or any young people you know take any Draw Together drawing classes during the pandemic? For me, Wendy MacNaughton’s incredible programming over the last few years has been like a lighthouse in a raging storm. And as of last week, all Draw Together classrooms resources are now available for FREE! Sign up here and you can bring the genius of Wendy and her incredible drawing classes into a school you care about.

I’m always on the lookout for resources to help my students who want to publish their writing more widely and recently stumbled upon Kate McKean’s substack “Agents and Books.” It’s so full of wisdom. This post in particular got me. “Your book can be the absolutely best in the world, and/or best you can do, and you can publish it traditionally or via self-publishing and it will still break your heart. Because publishing—either way—is not here to validate you.” True not just for book writing but for most things we dedicate ourselves to. She has lots of practical writing advice too.

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I am officially on book tour (and trust me, I’m trying to follow Kate’s advice myself). If you’ve bought my book, holy cow, thank you from the bottom of my heart. And my oh my, I’d love to meet as many of you in person as possible. I even have stickers with me of the beautiful illustrations from the book to give away! And pens that say “Peace be with you, Be not afraid” on them, (If you don’t understand this then you haven’t finished What Looks Like Bravery. What are you doing reading your email?! HA. Just kidding!!!).

Seattle! Tomorrow night, March 24, I will be in conversation with the wonderful Jon Mooallem (one of our absolute best living nonfiction writers) at Town Hall. Tickets here.

Portland! On Monday March 27th I will be in talking with the brilliant Rebecca Skloot, author of #1 NYT bestseller the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks at Powell’s books. Info here.

San Francisco/Oakland! On March 31st I will be interviewed by the incredible Samin Nosrat, cook and bestselling author of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat at City Arts and Lectures. Tickets here (virtual attendance also possible!!)

New York! On April 7th I will be in chatting with the amazing Maria Popova of Brainpickings/the Marginalian at PandT Knitwear. Info here.

And more, more, more coming soon…..

If you don’t happen to be in those places, or if you’re looking for writing workshops and not book events, do not fret. We have a number of upcoming workshops right here! Join us!

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Yours, till next time,

Laurel

I’ve always wanted to be a person you call in an emergency. My favorite pastime is putting together survival kits (for the car, the house, backcountry trips, friends-who-haven’t-asked-for-them, etc). I keep a crowbar under the bed in case an earthquake hits overnight and I need to pry myself out of the rubble. I keep a clotting sponge in the glovebox of my car just in case I stumble upon someone bleeding out. In the trunk, there’s a bag with warm clothes and running shoes and energy bars (that inevitably melt and lure hard-partying mice into the back seat). I don’t really fit the cliché of a prepper, but prepper I am! My brother is the same way. (Only he’s a firefighter-paramedic so he’s actually useful in a major emergency.) Anyway, all of this is to say that asking for help (rather than offering someone directions or a wool hat) makes me a tiny bit nauseous. But here we are. I need your help and I hate asking but, as my wise therapist taught me, you can’t be brave if you’re not scared.

I’ve spent the past seven years working on my new book, What Looks Like Bravery: an epic journey from loss to love, coming out next Tuesday. It’s a story about the ways I was marked by loss, for better and for worse, and my long journey to understanding how to move forward in a world in which you can lose people and places for no good reason at all. At heart, it’s a story about how we find courage to face what scares us most —even if that’s love itself. Many of you have pre-ordered it and oh my goodness, I am SO thankful. If any of you have not, or if you’d like to buy a copy for a friend—I WOULD LOVE YOUR SUPPORT. For now, it’d be great to buy it on Amazon as a bunch of early orders encourage the site to boost visibility and make the book more likely to be suggested to others. Though there is no BAD place to buy books and supporting your local independent, or Barnes & Noble, is also great.

Buy the Book

I’d also love your help spreading the word. Please tag me on IG (@laurel_braitman), use #WhatLooksLikeBravery and let me know if you’re liking the book. Leaving a review on Amazon, goodreads, or anywhere else is also super helpful, or….help me spread the word about upcoming events! Here is a little folder of images you can use wherever you are on social media. You can also point people to my website. Even the tiniest action helps!

I can’t tell you how much this means to me. Never before have I felt like my heart is suddenly a bunch of printed paper, winging its way around the world, just waiting for someone to pick it up and decide whether or not to invite it in.

As always, set a timer for seven minutes. Tell yourself that you’re already an excellent writer. You can go back to being self-critical after the timer goes off but for the love of [insert deity or person/creature-of-your-own-choosing], try talking to yourself like your best friend would. Put your phone on silent or in airplane mode if you can, and begin. Don’t stop and edit. Just keep writing. You can do all three prompts back to back or just choose one. And if you don’t want to type, don’t worry. Speak your answer into a voice memo app, or directly into a notes app as voice-to-text. There is no wrong way to answer a reflective question, there is only not giving yourself the chance to do so.

This week’s prompts are inspired by my own story….but as ever, feel free to take whatever inspires you.

1. What is something you did that other people thought was brave but that you knew was just you being scared of something else even more?

   Describe this as a moment or scene if you can, using all of your senses. If you can’t write it as a scene because it was long period of time, just choose a moment that is emblematic to you of this time in your life and describe that.

2. You have the ability to go back in time to any moment in your life. You will have the consciousness of your current self but the body of the self at the age you choose to return to. No one around you will notice anything different. What moment will you go back to? What will you see? Who will be there and what are they saying? What do things smell, look, sound and feel like? How long would you stay and why?

3. Make a list of every lesson or piece of advice you wish you’d learned (or heard) earlier in your life than you did.

   Do a line break between each one. If you want to, you can describe the lesson a bit and how you came to it. Extra credit: give the list to a young person you know in a nice envelope, you can even gift wrap it and tell them to open it when they next get discouraged. Tell them you know your life is different than theirs, and it’s not a list of expectations, rather you hope they might find something useful in it.

If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging me, @laurel_braitman.

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I can’t get enough of the Apple+ show Shrinking. I know we have a lot of therapists reading this newsletter—-does it make you cringe? laugh uncontrollably? shudder? I think it’s so funny and sweet even if no one should have their patients move in.

Other great things I’m enjoying at the moment: the book Outlawed by Anna North (late to this one but really liking it); my ex girlfriend (who is one of the heroes in What Looks Like Bravery) and her fiance showed up at the ranch last weekend wearing matching sweatsuits and I immediately bought my own and can’t wait for it to arrive (pants and hoodie); this pepper grinder makes cooking anything more satisfying (I can’t tell if they’ve named their grinders after condoms on purpose); caramel bedtime tea; Topo-chico sparking water over ice with a few shakes of cherry bitters; my everyday pens the Pilot G-2 0-7; and country rap, playing loud enough for other people to hear at stoplights.

All upcoming writing workshops are listed here. We have them for healthcare professionals but also two new workshops open to everyone!

And….

I’m heading out on book tour and we can meet in person! See events below and on my website. If you’re in Ojai, Seattle, Portland, the CA Bay Area, NYC and more…come say hi. I will probably have some whiskey on me and would be happy to share.

Yours, till next time,

Laurel

For me, and maybe for you too, the first feeling I have when I perceive something great— looking out over the wildest part of the ranch where we live, fleetingly liking something about myself in the mirror, smelling citrus blossoms in winter, watching a molten sunset over the ocean, or being enveloped by music at a live show—- is anticipatory sadness for the moment I will no longer be in the presence of this goodness. My processing of awe or wonder or delight is inextricable from my fear of loss (my inner voice whispering that the ranch will burn down again, that my newly-formed jowls will deepen like a hound dog’s and I will, for this dumb reason, become unloveable, that the water we use to irrigate the citrus will run out, that…that…that..).

The only form of pleasure I know is bittersweetness, a 50/50 cocktail of delight and worry, or on my best days— of joy and also acknowledgement that everything changes. Maybe I inherited this (along with my curly hair) from a long line of people who believe that one should always keep one eye open for danger. Or maybe I am this way because I was raised by a dad who was dying most of my childhood and adolescence, and therefore any great thing came along with the feeling that eventually we’d need to appreciate it without him. Whatever the case, I know I’m not alone. And that’s why this week we’re going to think a bit about bittersweetness— the good-bad, the happy-sad. I hope we will write our way to a place where we find pleasure all the better precisely because it cannot last.

As always, set a timer for seven minutes. You can write for longer if you get inspired, but that is not the assignment here. If you can, put your phone in airplane mode and say out loud, before you begin “I am very good at writing but also that is not the point here.” (Note: I know this sounds cheesy but it works, even if you feel dumb saying it out loud and I promise, you will.) Choose one of these or do all three. If you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging @laurel_braitman.

1. Make a list of every ephemeral pleasure you have ever experienced and do a line break between each. Pleasure here can be interpreted any way you like and may include smells, glances, sounds, snippets of conversation, tastes, specific places at specific moments in time, interactions (lasting seconds or hours or days/weeks), epiphanies, items of clothing that felt a certain way, specific types of light in very specific places at specific moments, a certain emotional experience, a way you felt or looked to yourself, and any combination of the above…you get the idea. Be precise with your descriptions, lean on your physical senses if you feel stuck, don’t think too hard about it, don’t edit as you go along, and don’t stop writing till the timer goes off.

2. Describe a moment in which you were acutely aware that a something wonderful you were experiencing was not going to last. Bring us into this scene as if you were describing a moment in a film. Use your senses, be bold and include dialogue if that feels right. If you’re a fiction writer, write this as fiction….it can take place in a barn or on a spaceship, in an airport security line or an ICU, in a…or….

3. Describe a moment in which you were surprised by pleasure, when it seemed to descend out of nowhere and knock you sideways. Write this in the present tense and in the first person. Remember, you are already good at this.

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I made a little gift for anyone who— daringly, kindly, oh-so-generously—pre-orders my book What Looks Like Bravery. All you have to do is a take a screenshot and upload it here and you will get a little thing I made for you about how to show up for someone going through something sh*tty. Which is, honestly, all of us, at one time or another.

Some other good things to love:

• Saddle Up and Read is a marvelous organization run by Caitlin Gooch that combines horses with the promotion of literacy and the diversification of books in school libraries. Support them. And trust me when I tell you that their instagram feed is the mental health boost you didn’t know you needed.

• How to Stop the War Against Yourself: This episode of Dan Harris’s podcast in which he talks to meditation teacher Tara Brach. I kept taking notes.

• Popcorn for dinner: Especially this popcorn, which is the only kind I’ve ever made where ALL THE KERNELS pop. I mix fresh lemon juice and melted butter together and pour that all over, then toss with parmesan cheese or nutritional yeast. Sometimes I add buffalo hot sauce too. You will be thirsty for the next three days. It will be worth it.

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We have a few upcoming writing workshops for healthcare professionals (check out Writing Medicine for more info on dates and to sign up) and also BREAKING NEWS! we are now offering two new workshops open to everyone on April 24, 2023 and May 31, 2023. More information here.

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Till next time good people!

Writing can be such a lonely business and knowing that I’m sending a note directly to someone who actually wants to hear from me is pretty much my life’s dream realized. So…THANK YOU. This irregularly-timed newsletter will be a personal note from me to you—sharing the things (and people and projects) that bring me joy; writings/music/ideas/strategies that I have found useful when trying to make sense of the hard stuff (breakups, confusing diagnoses, the loss of people we love, but also the minor, grating disappointments of everyday life) and whatever else I happen to be thinking about. I aim to be the human version of the casserole you bring to someone after the sh*t hits the fan. If anyone you know might benefit from knowing about me or my work, please share this newsletter with them! Or, even better, just bring them a snack.

ps. The name of this newsletter is going to change soon but it will still be the same old me writing it.

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This week I had a friend in town, the marvelous radio editor, producer and writer Pat Walters (he’s done a million stories but this one about a man and his parrot might be my favorite). We went for a hike in the foothills of Los Padres National Forest. All the rains in Southern California have brought out the green grass, the nascent wildflowers, and even ferns. But the best part of the hike was running into a few creatures I hadn’t seen in a very long time.

I grew up with many, many donkeys. Since we live on a ranch with plenty of space (and their grazing helped with fire control) my parents adopted over a dozen wild ones from the state who would otherwise be killed because there were more donkeys than the desert could support. These donkeys had baby donkeys and those babies had babies and before we knew it, we had too many too. We rehomed a number of them—to folks throughout California who wanted to use the animals for expeditions or for fire control or guard thier livestock, or just to live with as friends. One of these places was a school in Ojai that does pack trips…where I happened to be hiking this week. We turned around a bend in the trail…and there they were! Getting on in years. But soft and kind as ever (except for the one on the right who got jealous if I scratched anyone else too long).

My parents are gone now and our original corral burned in a wildfire a few years ago. But the donkeys remain where they landed. Not stubborn, but sturdy. Or maybe sometimes stubborn but always for a reason. The poet G.K. Chesterton once referred to them as “the tattered outlaw of the earth.” I feel like he probably didn’t know any donkeys personally though. If he had, I think he’d have written about them as soulful, fierce, and curious— tattered maybe, but only in the way that a sacred text or beloved book is tattered.

This week’s prompts are inspired by the surprise-donkeys in your path. The things you stumble upon when you’re not looking. For better or for worse…or just because you’re stubborn about surviving too. Please share your responses with me if you feel like it (on IG by tagging me @laurel_braitman or via the comments section here on Substack).

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These prompts are meant to inspire you— not limit or intimidate you. To that end, put your phone in airplane mode if you can and set a timer for 7 minutes. You can always write for longer if you so choose, but I find 7 minutes to be sufficiently unscary. Second, tell yourself that you are already an excellent writer, perfect even—if only for 7 minutes (you have the rest of your life to edit and criticize yourself). Third, whenever you get stuck, choose a sensation to describe (a taste, sound, sight, smell, noise, etc). Let me know how it goes!

1. Your life is a trail-map. Where does it begin? Where does it end? Is it curving or straight? A spiral? A loop? What forests, deserts, or other environments might you pass through? Where is the trail dangerous? How is the way marked? Are there signs? What do they say? What are the place names? Is there a compass? If so, what are the directions? What lies beyond the map? (Feel free to draw this prompt and then just write labels!)

2. You are an old, old donkey who has lived a very long, mostly healthy, life and learned many lessons. You have worked a difficult job and some easier ones. You have seen human behavior that has shocked and surprised you—in both good ways and bad. You have watched, for decades, as life has swirled and eddied around you. And, unbeknownst to the humans you know, you have also learned how to write. Before you die, you want to share some of what you have learned with these humans. You find a pen and can hold it in your teeth to write a letter on the side of your barn. It begins “I know this is a surprise but…”

3. Make a list of every single that has ever surprised you. The big and the very small and seemingly insignificant. The excellent and the harrowing. Do not lift your pen from the paper (or your fingers from the keys), just keep going till the timer goes off. Do not edit while writing.

Again, if you’d like, you can post your response in the comments section or on Instagram by tagging me, @laurel_braitman.

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Are you in the CA Bay Area? If so, I’ll be onstage at City Arts and Lectures, in conversation with Samin Nosrat (of Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat fame and one of my favorite humans) on March 31st. Tickets available here. I’d so love to see you.

Save-the-Date (More info forthcoming)

March 18th: I will be having a book launch party at Ojai Deer Lodge 3-6pm in Ojai, CA. There will be whiskey and books for purchase and I will probably cry with gratitude and relief. Come out to my favorite biker bar and chill with me in the sun!

March 25th: I will be in conversation with the writer’s writer, NYT contributor and all around brilliant human Jon Mooallem at Seattle Town Hall.

March 27th: I will be at Powell’s in Portland, in conversation with the incredible, smart Rebecca Skloot, author of the #1 NYT bestseller the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.

April 11th: I will be at P and T Knitwear in NYC, chatting with the curator of all things bright and beautiful on the internet, Maria Popova of Brainpickings and the Marginalian.

Not in any of these places? No worries…there will be more…

If you’re a healthcare professional or a loved one of one…you can also sign up to write with me virtually here.

For everyone else…more virtual opportunities coming soon. Especially for patients and caregivers.

Yours, till next time,

Laurel