Well, I am sending you my first ever exclusive video and it’s the trailer for my music video for my new song “Two Things”!

I am so excited to soon share this upbeat and encouraging story about choosing yourself, based on real events. I’ll send a link to the video on my YouTube channel once it premieres!

As always, thank you for being part of this community!

Have a great weekend,

Lauren Cassidy 🌼

This happened years before we met, when I didn’t have a lot of experience dating. It was a five year relationship and we were planning a wedding. Life is crazy sometimes.

With it being one of my first relationships, I honestly thought it was the best that could exist. I had no other reference really, and the relationships I watched growing up had been chaotic and dishonest. So I genuinely believed my relationship was healthy because he treated me better than I had previously seen. But, in therapy I learned, being treated better isn't necessarily the same as being treated well if the thing you're comparing it to is a toxic relationship. And that leads me to…

What getting cheated on taught me:

1. Just because it’s the best you’ve had doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

Getting cheated on finally showed me all the red flags I had ignored because things were just “not as bad,” until they were. For example, having your partner ignore you when they are upset may “feel better” than having them yell at you. But is it really better, or is it just more quiet? Another example. Having your partner be easy-going might “feel better” than a partner who is controlling. But, what if they are easy-going to the point of passivity? That’s not as bad as controlling, but does it help you or make your life harder?

2. A healthy partner builds with you, not against you.

When things about our relationship became tricky to navigate, this guy would say “you need to worry about yourself.” It always made me feel so isolated. I didn’t notice then that this was a symptom of a much bigger problem. Healthy relationships aren't created by two people solving their own problems separately. They’re created by two people’s willingness to be works-in-progress together. A partnership where you are constantly left feeling alone by the one person you love the most, is not a partnership at all.

3. Two things can be true at once.

The phrase my new song is based on. This relationship taught me that I can love someone deeply and still decide it’s time to leave after trust is broken. That didn’t happen immediately, I fought for a long time to see if it could still work.

I think a lot of us look back on the endings of past relationships and wish we had handled them differently, maybe with more self-trust or self-respect. So I wrote this song from the perspective of someone who is able to easily choose themselves. “Two Things” is the response I wish I’d been healed enough to give years ago. And it’s out now!

Listen to “Two Things” on Spotify or Apple Music

Listen to “Two Things” on YouTube (if it’s not up yet, check back later, sometimes YT takes a while to process releases)

This is my favorite song I’ve made so far. And I hope listening to it is as much of a healing experience for you, as making the song was for me!

The fun music video for “Two Things” is inspired by some of what I shared today, and it’ll be sent to your inbox once it’s out 💛

Happy listening,

Lauren Cassidy 🌼

July brought a lot of unexpected things, including some health struggles I had to resolve. I'm grateful to say things have settled down, and I have exciting news to share today!

Last time we talked about how healing is meant to help you create a future you want. One of the ways I noticed that happening in my own life was through dating.

Since most of you follow me for my “healthy relationship” skits, I wanted to share five ways healing changed how I dated in hopes that it can help you too:

1. A rejection is not a reflection of my worth

Your self-worth is not dependent on anyone’s opinion of you. It is inherent. Everyone has specific things they desire in a partner. Not matching one person’s ideal does not mean anything is wrong with or bad about you.

2. I don’t need to rush how I feel

In the past, the thought of losing someone felt so unbearable, that I would try to rush into deep connection. In healthy dating, you can take time to figure out how you feel and let things build gradually (as long as you’re not just stringing someone along!) With that said, some relationships naturally move more quickly than others. The most important thing is that both people are comfortable and communicating, which leads me to my next point.

3. I am safe enough to be honest about my feelings and needs

And the right person met this with understanding, respect, and a willingness to face things together. They were also honest about their own feelings and needs from the very beginning.

4. I can love someone deeply without loving myself less

Love does not require you to abandon yourself to keep someone else. Your partner is part of your world, not your entire world. You can have a fulfilling, healthy relationship and still be your own person.

5. I trust myself to know when it’s time to leave

Another feeling you don’t need to rush. I’ve learned that, for me, if a feeling comes up more than once, and while I’m thinking calmly, it is worth taking note of.

All of these things taught me two things can be true at once.

I can love someone and still know it’s time to leave. And that can be incredibly freeing!

That’s what my next song is about. “Two Things” comes out on Friday, August 7 on all streaming platforms.

Pre-save Two Things ☀️

It’s a breakup song you can dance to. A self-respect anthem about being healed enough to choose yourself. And my husband personally thinks it’s the most fun song I’ve made haha.

I’ll have another e-mail coming very soon with a song snippet and some more exciting news! 👀

Till then, thank you for being here and for reading my e-mails. I write each one with something I wish I could tell my younger self. So I hope it reaches you at a time where you really need a song, a story, or some words to help you feel less alone and more understood.

Talk soon,

Lauren Cassidy 🌼

I wonder why that is for some. Nostalgia is one answer. But I also think as children we were more likely to believe in the impossible. That’s partly why children are so good at playing pretend.

I think that can teach us something about imagining a life we want but have never experienced. As children, we often imagined freely because we believed anything was possible. As adults, we still like to imagine a dream life (it gives us dopamine). But when we’re aware of what it would actually take to get there, sometimes we convince ourselves it’s hopeless. There is a difference between choosing not to pursue something because it isn’t worth it to you, versus because you don’t actually believe in yourself. The latter can lead to regret later on.

Something I didn’t share from my story last week is that I reached a point where I told myself “I am tired of dreaming, I just want to do.” I had spent years imagining that a better life was coming along as a way to cope with my upbringing. What I didn’t realize is that I had reached a point where I was able to create that better life. I just needed to choose to make a first step. Does that mean life became immediately better when I did? No, like all great things, it took time. But in all that time, I learned and experienced and felt so many things I never thought I would.

Healing doesn’t make life magically better. It makes you capable of handling life through all its seasons. Healing doesn't give you a calm nervous system all the time. It helps your nervous system respond more appropriately to the situations you're in. Healing doesn’t make you capable of never crying or never getting angry. It helps you become more comfortable feeling your emotions and caring for them in healthy ways.

And when you can do that, you are more likely to go after a life you want. Even if different and new feel scary to you. Even if safety feels foreign at first. Even if self-trust requires not knowing what will happen. Because you feel equipped. That’s why I share exercises and tips you can add to your healing toolkit.

Obstacles will show up in your life whether you pursue a better one or not.

So, whatever you decide, make the choice intentionally. Not from a place of fear.

Here’s to what younger you dreamed of,

Lauren Cassidy 🌼

When I was 18 years old and heartbroken from my first relationship, my sister and I rewatched my favorite Barbie movie, Barbie as the Island Princess. It's about a lost princess who grows up on an island after being shipwrecked as a child. She doesn’t remember who she is or where she’s from. As an adult, she leaves everything she's ever known in search of a new life. What I love most about the movie isn't the story itself, but the song she sings when she decides to leave.

The lyrics of the chorus are:

I need to know these answers

I need to find my way

Seize my tomorrow

Learn my yesterday

I need to take these chances

Let all my feelings show

Can’t tell what’s waiting

Still I need to go

I need to know

Not only is the song itself beautiful, but these lyrics really spoke to me as a girl with a broken heart who was thinking about moving away from home for the first time. The song is hopeful in a realistic way. It’s not saying “if I do this everything will be great!” It’s saying “I don’t know what will happen, but I want to know so I’m going to go for it.” And ultimately, that was the mindset I needed to have to move in the direction of the life I wanted.

Moving away from home led to me going to therapy. Going to therapy led to me healing in ways I never thought possible. Healing led me to once again pursue my dream of being a singer. And becoming someone who chose all that growth led me to create a healthy relationship with my now husband. I couldn’t imagine any of this happening when I left home at 18. But I needed to know what the future had in store, and so I went forward to find it and create it.

When my husband and I were dating he admitted that he was also a fan of the Barbie movies (thanks to his sisters). So, below is our acoustic cover of “I Need to Know” from Barbie as the Island Princess! This is just a demo, but I hope it brings you comfort and encourages you to take the leap towards a future you have dreamed about.

Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a career you are passionate about, a giant move, or anything else, part of healing is pursuing your dream to the extent that you can. That is how you create a future different from what you’ve known. And if you don’t know what your dream is yet, here is a question you can ask yourself to start.

If money, education, or people’s perceptions of me did not matter, what would I do with my life that would help me be fulfilled?

Think on it. And then figure out how to move toward it.

Here’s to dreaming,

Lauren Cassidy 🌼

This month we had our first ever giveaway for those who are part of this community, The Healing Garden! I am so excited to announce that the Care Package was won by @MothieBerry, who shared that her favorite song I’ve made is “I’d Give Her the World.”

As a thank you, I will also be sending a handwritten letter and a small gift to everyone who entered the giveaway. ☺️ I hope to do more of these in the future (especially a worldwide one someday)!

This Care Package included creative and self-soothing items to help with emotional regulation and processing. So I wanted to talk about a few of the easy ways you can regulate your emotions, without needing any item at all.

• EFT Tapping: An exercise where you tap acupressure points across your body. To try it, gently tap on points such as the side of your hand, your eyebrows, under your eyes, and your collarbone while taking deep breaths in and out. A tip for breathing deeply is to imagine the air going into your nose and spreading out to the sides, rather than going up your nose.

• Movement: When we are in a heightened emotional state, our body prepares to take action. Sometimes that energy can get “stuck” when we don’t have a chance to release it. Movement helps complete that stress cycle. You can go for a walk, stretch, dance to your favorite song, or shake out your arms and/or legs for a minute or two. This isn’t about exercising. It’s helping your body process what it’s holding onto.

• 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: This is a grounding technique meant to bring you back to the present moment. When you are overwhelmed by an emotion, take a pause and notice:

  • 5 things you can see

  • 4 things you can feel (a table, a chair, the ground, the clothes you are wearing)

  • 3 things you can hear (people talking, music, wind)

  • 2 things you can smell (flowers, grass, perfume, food)

  • 1 thing you can taste (even if there is nothing in your mouth)

You may have seen a version of this in Inside Out 2 when Riley focuses on the feeling of the bench beneath her hands and starts noticing things around her. Grounding gives your nervous system a feeling of safety in the present moment.

I continue to use these techniques when I need to calm myself. I hope you’ll try them, and add what works for you to your “healing toolkit.” 🧰

Our emotions don't disappear just because we ignore them. Learning how to take care of yourself can allow you more freedom in your healing journey, and more peace in your future.

Keep tending to your garden,

Lauren Cassidy 🌼

Yesterday, the month of May came to a close (a.k.a. Mental Health Awareness Month). But, as you know, healing is a process. And taking care of yourself doesn’t stop just because the month changes. To remind us of that, I am doing the first ever Healing Garden Giveaway! I will be giving away a Care Package, filled with things that provide comfort, encourage creativity, and help make healing fun!

In addition to what is shown in the above photo, this package will also include:

1. Handwritten Note From Me: You can let me know what you would like the note to be about. 😊

2. The first ever The Healing Garden Journal: with prompts to help with emotional processing and emotional regulation (artwork designed by AJ Francis, a talented member of The Healing Garden Discord Server)

3. The first ever The Healing Garden Sticker (created by @MiyoPiyo, a talented moderator from The Healing Garden Discord Server)

To enter the Giveaway:

• Be a member of The Healing Garden (if you are part of the Discord or subscribed to this newsletter, you already are!)

• Follow me on Instagram or TikTok

• On TikTok or Instagram, share your favorite song I’ve released on your story and tag me!

Giveaway ends Sunday, June 7. Winner announced Monday, June 8.

Must be 18+ to enter (you can have someone enter on your behalf). Due to shipping limitations, this first giveaway is only open to U.S. residents.

I’ve created many care packages for my friends when they’ve needed some support, including one for my husband while we were dating! I hope you’ll enter, and remember growth is meant to be a life-long journey. It’s important to give yourself a little extra care when needed.

As always, thank you for being here,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

When I started to care for my mental health, here are a few things I learned that I hope can help you:

1. Healing is a process: It takes time, patience with and kindness towards yourself. There are ups and downs, days where you feel fully healed and days where you feel not healed at all. So take one day at a time, knowing that it doesn’t determine how you’ll feel for the rest of your life.

2. You are allowed to start again: And again and again. More “starts” mean more experiences. More experiences mean greater learning and opportunities to create a life you love.

3. You are still becoming: There is a future version of you who is grateful you didn’t give up today. It will be worth it to meet them.

You may have noticed I posted these on Instagram with some new photos, but since you are part of The Healing Garden I wanted to give an extra reminder that is just for you.

4. Healing is not just about survival: Life is not just about getting “through,” even if some of us were taught that it was. It’s not about surviving certain parts of life, but rather experiencing it, processing it, and moving forward. There is so much of healing that leads to feeling joy, safety, wonder, and connection again.

These are all things I still need to remind myself of (especially the first one). And as I do, I’ve started to see these as true, not only for myself but for other people. Even those who have hurt me. It’s why I wrote the song “I’d Give Her the World.”

Watch the new lyric video for “I’d Give Her the World”

I wrote it thinking “I know why you became who you are and did the things you did, and I wish I could change that why.” Maybe then things would have been different for everyone.

Some of you may not be ready for that part of your healing process and that is okay. It’s important to start with caring for yourself. That is honestly the best decision you will ever make.

Wherever you are in your journey, keep these reminders in mind for the month, and as you move forward.

Till next week,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

Last week, I shared that re-parenting is learning to give yourself the care and support you needed growing up. That includes the joyful experiences you had, or wished you had, as a kid.

There’s another layer to this that changed a lot for me. You may not be ready to think about this, and that’s okay. It took me a few years, and moving away, to be ready myself.

Seeing the people who raised you, as people who were once children too.

My therapist introduced this concept to me. There was a time where your parent, guardian, or whoever raised you, was a kid with their own hopes, fears, and unmet needs.

That doesn’t excuse the ways they may have hurt you. But having an explanation for who they are, healed something in me. It helped me understand that they don’t have all the right answers to life. They, like me, have just been trying to figure it out.

If you feel ready to explore this, here’s something you can try:

Think of someone who raised you.
Now imagine them as a child.

What did they need? What might they not have received?

Notice what comes up.

This idea inspired the song I released today.

It’s called “I’d Give Her the World” and you can listen to it now 🌼

When I imagined my mom as a young girl, I realized I would want to give her everything I would have given my younger self.

So in a way, it’s also a message to my inner child. And the inner child in all of us.

Little you deserved more. And you still do.

If you’d like, let me know what you think of the new song! As always, I hope it helps you feel less alone and more understood.

Happy May,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

Remember the story I shared where I visualized my younger self and talked with her about my parents’ divorce? Or the video I shared where my husband and I put up his childhood Star Wars and Lego figures in our room? Both of those moments involve connecting to your younger self and offering support, safety, and love. Doing that repeatedly in your day-to-day life is re-parenting.

This doesn’t mean you have to do an inner child exercise every day. It simply means you put the following into practice:

• Showing up for yourself the way a healthy caregiver would. For example, going to bed instead of staying up late when tired.

• Meeting your emotional needs. This looks like allowing yourself to cry when sad, asking for support when needed, and regulating stress.

• Changing patterns and habits that create harm to others or yourself.

You may notice that these things are similar to what a loving and attentive parent would help their child to do, and that’s the point. Not everyone had someone in childhood to show them how to process their feelings or take care of themselves. So through re-parenting work, you show up for yourself now in the ways you needed back then.

This week, pick one of these to try. If you’d like, share what you’ll try in the comments below.

There is a more fun side to re-parenting I’d like to share, and that is giving yourself the joy and experiences you wanted as a kid. Such as, going on a trip to a place you’ve always wanted to see, taking a class in something you’ve always wanted to try, or buying something you’ve always wanted. For my husband, that might be a lightsaber. For me, I bought Heelys (the sneakers that have wheels) once I turned 18 and took a sewing class.

What is one joyful experience you wanted to have as a child, that you can give to yourself now? If you want to, feel free to share this in the comments as well. 🌼

I do want to acknowledge that it can be difficult to realize that our parents weren’t able to be there for us in the ways we may have needed growing up. Something that helped me process this was understanding that my parents were both once children too, with their own hopes and dreams, and unmet needs from the adults in their lives. That, of course, doesn’t excuse their actions, it simply helps explain it. This understanding helped me heal so much, that I wrote a song about it.

My new song, “I’d Give Her the World,” comes out, Friday, May 1. You can pre-save it now.

This song is specifically about my mom, and reconciling her difficult past with my own healing journey. When I imagine my mom as a young girl, before she had any of the experiences that made her who she is today, I truly believe I would give her everything I would have given my younger self. So, in a way, this song is about my younger self too. And how everyone’s inner child, including yours, deserves safety and love.

I’d give them the world.

This is why I give my music, videos, and these weekly notes. To help you heal so that you can change your world to what you want it to be. 💛

I believe in you,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

Last time we spoke I shared a practice for talking to your inner child called non-dominant hand journaling. If you tried it, you may have had a memory or feeling come up that needs a little care. Or maybe nothing came up at all. Either way, I want to show you a next step that will meet you wherever you are.

This is a visualization exercise I learned from my therapist while healing my inner child. I’ll guide you through it.

Ready?

Imagine a younger version of you, any age.

Imagine a room designed just for them. Their dream room.

What does it look like? What colors are there? Are there certain toys, books, music, decorations?

Draw it out, write it out, or just say it out loud (that’s normally what I do).

Now imagine them in that room. You’re there with them.

What do you say? Or what do they say first?

As you talk, respond the way they needed back then.

You might say:
“I’m here for you.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“You don’t have to go through this alone.”

If it feels right, you can imagine comforting them in other ways. Sitting beside them, holding their hand, even dancing with them around the room.

Once it feels like there is no more left to say or do, you can decide how you would like to leave the room. Now knowing, that younger you is safe and happy.

The first time I did this exercise I made a dream room for younger me with a dance studio and little garden. While I visualized talking to her, the topic of divorce came up.

She asked me questions, and I answered them as honestly and as lovingly as I could. Until she understood enough and felt heard. I gave her a hug, walked out the door, and closed it gently behind me.

After that therapy session, I made a snack and watched a comfort movie to ground myself. I highly recommend following this exercise with something that gives you joy.

Healing your inner child isn’t just about processing a heavy past. It’s also about connecting with the things younger you enjoyed or wished you had experienced. You might’ve seen this video where I helped my husband put up some Star Wars figurines in our room. This is an example of connecting with your inner child through joy.

Next week, I’ll go more into this idea, as well as share something I’ve been working on that could shift how you see healing.

Until next week,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

If you could say one thing to your younger self, what would it be?

Last week, I asked you to think on that question. Not for the answer, but because I was curious what age came to mind when you read “younger self.”

Was it 16 year old you? 10 year old you? 5 year old you? Why that age?

Maybe it was a time in your life when you really needed someone to depend on. For love, safety, or hope. That’s the age I usually think of.

Whatever number came to mind, I want you to imagine that version of you for an exercise called non-dominant hand journaling. This will help you talk to your inner child.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Take a piece of paper and use a pencil to draw a line down the middle.

   

2. Begin the conversation as yourself:

   On the left side, use your dominant hand to write what you would like to say to your younger self. You can write your answer to the question above. Or something simple like, “Hello” or:

• “How are you feeling today?”

• “What are you doing?”

• “Do you know who I am?”

There is no correct way to start.

3. Respond as younger you:

   On the right side, use your non-dominant hand to respond as your younger self. We use the non-dominant hand to disrupt a usual pattern, helping our brain to be present and allowing us to tap into our emotions more easily. For some, it can also make the handwriting look like it was actually done by your younger self.

   

   If you’re ambidextrous (you have the ability to write with both hands equally), hold your pencil in a completely different way than you normally would. Try writing with a fist, holding the pencil between different fingers, or even flipping your whole hand over.

4. Continue the conversation, going back and forth between hands, until you feel ready to stop. For me, it’s usually when I feel more calm and present. Or when one of the responses by “younger me” has given me something to think about.

How do you feel after reading through that? Does the exercise seem strange to you, or comforting?

The first time I did this exercise, I didn’t know what to expect. Nothing super profound was said. But the optimism and hope that younger me had, reminded me that those feelings still exist inside me. And I can nurture them.

If you can, try this exercise twice this week. Even if your conversations don’t go past a few sentences. The point is to become familiar with imagining what younger you would say, do, or be like.

This might bring up past emotions or memories, and that’s okay. In the next email, I’ll show you how to process those with your inner child in a way that leaves you feeling safe and supported.

If you need something calm to listen to while doing this, I suggest my song “Lessons.” I made it specifically to help with healing the inner child. 💛

Lastly, I know this e-mail is being sent out on Monday instead of last Friday. I had an unexpected injury last week that needed some extra time and care to recover. I’m feeling much better now!

Thanks for your patience, and let this be a reminder to you to take some time this week for your own care and healing.

To your health,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

Do you remember what you would do as a kid this time of year? Maybe you would be on spring vacation. Maybe you have a birthday! Or maybe April just wasn’t very eventful, or you don’t remember it much at all.

I ask all this because I want to introduce what might be (or might not be) a new healing concept for you: your inner child.

Your inner child is the younger version of you that still lives inside you. It’s a blend of nostalgia attached to a feeling that impacts you today. Like, the rush of joy when you find an old game or toy you once loved, or the comfort of eating your favorite childhood snack.

It also may be tied to less pleasant memories, emotions, and outcomes. Like, developing social anxiety because you were extremely sheltered as a kid. Or having an insecure attachment style in romantic relationships because your parents had a rocky relationship when you were young. Your inner child is the part of you that first learned what it means to be loved, safe, accepted… or not.

The good news is inner child work is a psychological practice specifically designed to help you heal from trauma, pain, or mistakes of the past. It also builds emotional security in your present, and a clean slate for your future. Over the course of this month, we are going to learn the very many ways to connect with and heal younger you. It is a stepping stone in reaching that very freeing feeling of “you are the person you’ve been waiting for.” In other words, you may just become the person you needed when you were younger.

So for next week, I want you think:

“If I could say one thing to my younger self, what would it be?”

The question might seem simple, but your answer can reveal more than you expect. Could be a piece of advice, a compliment, reassurance… hopefully not judgement. 😅 Maybe you don’t know right now and that is okay. For now, just take note of what age you immediately think of and why your brain chose that age.

If you need a soundtrack as you think, I suggest listening to “Lessons,” the song inspired by my own inner child healing. I think it can bring some comfort and hope as you begin this kind of growth. 💛

Till next week,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

Before this month ends, I wanted to make sure you didn’t miss any healing help that could truly make a difference in your life.

We have monthly themes in The Healing Garden, and March has been all about learning and un-learning, so you can intentionally create the future you want. Here is a quick review of past notes:

• Week 1: “You can heal many things on your own, but relational trauma is often healed by being in a healthy relationship.” Being in a healthy relationship (romantic or otherwise) for the first time can feel “weird.” Your nervous system is used to a different reality. It takes time, patience, and opening up to one another to teach it something new. The best thing to do is continually choose to grow together.

• Week 2: “What is something I am holding onto that no longer fits in my life?” This is what I call “spring cleaning” your mind and heart. Take a look at any beliefs that have been weighing down on you for a while. Is this belief your own or something you were taught? Is it true or false? Is it helpful or harmful? Then, decide whether to keep it, change it, or let it go. And allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up along the way.

• Week 3: “You are the person you’ve been waiting for.” This is the most important lesson I’ve learned in my own journey. By healing, you can become the person you needed when you were younger. It is such a powerful experience, because it’s evidence that you can create and have something different, and better, than what you’ve known in the past.

A helpful visual representation of everything we’ve talked about this month is the new lyric video for my song, “Lessons.” This is also for those of you who have asked to see the lyrics typed out.

Fun Fact: a few of the items in the video are hints for future songs. 👀 Can you tell which ones?

Watch the “Lessons” lyric video 🌼

Leave a comment telling me which line resonates with you, and I’ll respond to it!

Thank you for letting me grow with you this month, and for being part of this community! I know healing can sometimes be heavy and hard work. So take a rest this weekend if you need. You deserve it. 💛

As we step into next month, carry forward the lessons that feel right, release the ones that don’t, and have patience with yourself as you decide which box to place each lesson in.

To your future,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

On my side of the world, we are one week away from my favorite season, Spring! 🌼 During this time, I like to approach healing through the lens of “spring cleaning.” I ask myself “what is something I am holding onto that no longer fits in my life?”

Last week I shared a few lessons I learned (and un-learned) while on my healing journey. All of us have learned lessons, whether directly or indirectly, from those who raised us and the environment we grew up in. These hand-me-down beliefs can follow us into adulthood, regardless of if they were helpful or harmful, true or false, or if they are still needed. Certain beliefs may have even helped us survive difficult experiences in the past. But how often have you reflected on the lessons you currently live your life by? Sometimes these can become roadblocks in our own healing and growth.

For example, I have a friend who spent years subconsciously believing they were unintelligent. They were labeled that way by their parents after struggling with grades in elementary school. As a result, they never aspired to any job or dream that seemed to require a high IQ. Once they realized where this belief came from, and that it no longer had any basis today, they were able to let go of the false narrative. Now, they have a Master’s in psychology and work as a counselor, helping children believe in their own talents and abilities.

We all have something we can let go of during this season of renewal. Here is a small, therapeutic exercise you can use to figure out yours:

• Pick one belief or pattern in your life: Whether it’s a thought about yourself, a bad habit, or a tendency you have.

• Trace its origin: Did this come from a family member, a friend, an ex, the media, or a specific past experience?

• Consider its impact: How does it affect your life today? Is it holding you back or driving you forward?

• Decide what to do with it: Keep, modify, or thank it for its role and let it go. Psychologically, “thanking” a belief can help you separate yourself from it more easily. It’s a technique used in inner child work to validate the past while freeing yourself in the present. Only do this if you feel it’s right for you.

That may sound like a lot to unpack. I’m not trying to make you question your whole life. Truthfully, there are many lessons you’ve learned that still help you today: resilience, patience, empathy, forgiveness, and more. I only want to encourage you to be more conscious about how you choose to live your life, so you can give yourself power to create the life you truly desire.

One belief I am letting go of this Spring is the idea that it’s “too late” to go after my dreams. So, in one week, I am releasing my first new song in years. It’s called “Lessons,” a whimsical folksy pop song about healing.

To hear it as soon as it’s released, pre-save it on Spotify!

Next week, keep an eye out for an exclusive link for a Livestream Concert I’ll be doing on release day!

So excited for this new season,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

Last week I talked about how developing strong self-worth is an important step in creating a healthy relationship. That doesn’t mean you have to have everything figured out before entering a relationship. In fact, you psychologically can’t.

When I began therapy after a heartbreaking ending to my first relationship, my therapist told me:

“You can heal many things on your own, but relational trauma is often healed by being in a healthy relationship.”

Great, I thought.

“So to heal my trust issues, I need to trust again? Sounds like a scam,” I replied.

We both laughed, but what she said turned out to be a transformative lesson for dating while also on a healing journey.

Each relationship I experienced, from then on, was slightly healthier than the last. I slowly but surely learned to set boundaries. I learned how to honestly express my needs. I learned how to have and resolve disagreements. And I learned when to walk away.

I expected to learn a lot from trying to date healthily, but what I didn’t expect was to un-learn a lot as well. So if you are someone who is navigating dating or a relationship while on a healing journey, I’d like to share some of these:

Lessons I’ve Learned

1. Healthy love can feel “weird” if you are used to the opposite.
If you’ve only experienced drama or instability in relationships, your nervous system has been trained to expect highs and lows. You may feel comfortable in chaos because it’s familiar, but that doesn’t mean it’s good for you. A healthy relationship may feel “weird” because it doesn’t spike your stress hormone, cortisol, as often. This takes time to adjust to and once you do, healthy relationships can be plenty exciting! Plus research shows that predictability increases long-term relationship satisfaction, and long-term individual health.

2. Be willing to keep growing.
In videos featuring my husband, I often get comments claiming he is perfect. He would be the first to tell you that he is not. And I would say the same for myself. We are both works-in-progress. We don’t hold each other to a standard of perfection, and we both are willing to continue growing and healing together. If only one of us was willing to change, while the other remained completely the same, that would create an unbalanced relationship, at best, and potentially a harmful relationship, at worst.

Lessons I’ve Unlearned

1. “Everyone cheats.”
I’ve heard this from both cheaters and victims of cheating. There are two big problems with this lesson: 1) It removes accountability from the cheater. 2) It acts as a false ‘protective’ mechanism for the person cheated on. Believing “everyone cheats'“ can lead to trauma-based avoidance of all relationships, limiting your ability to trust and be vulnerable. The truth is, people who cheat make conscious choices, and that choice is a reflection of them, not everyone in the world.

2. “Conflict means you’re in a bad relationship.”
There are healthy and unhealthy forms of conflict. Healthy conflict can actually grow intimacy and understanding. If you and your partner see conflict as problem-solving instead of a threat, it can create a more resilient bond. My husband taught me a phrase when we first started dating: “same team, same team.” Whenever we have conflict come up, we say this to remind ourselves it is us versus the problem.

All of us learn lessons throughout our life, both direct and indirect, that influence how we act in and create relationships. Healing has helped me learn and unlearn so much that it inspired me to do something I haven’t done in three years.

On Friday, March 20, I’ll be releasing a new song called “Lessons.” Written while on my healing journey (and when I first met my husband), it’s about what we keep, what we question, and what we let go of. It’s a very important song to me and I can’t wait to share it with you!

As with all my art, I hope it can help you feel less alone and more understood. And encourage you to create a life you choose.

Till next week,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

The number one question I get asked in my comment section is “how do I get into a healthy relationship?” Most of you have seen my skits with my husband on this topic, but I’ve never answered this question directly.

Last week I gave an invitation to join a 7-day self-love challenge, where you’d commit to one simple action (making your bed, going for a walk, cleaning your room, or drinking a bottle of water) every day for 7 days. The goal was to give evidence to your brain that you are worth taking care of, despite your mood or how you view yourself.

If you did the challenge, how did it go? If you haven’t, I encourage you try it, because it can help you create a healthy relationship.

All relationships, romantic or otherwise, hold up mirrors that expose our fears, doubts, insecurities, anxieties, and what we see as “flaws.” When that happens, we feel vulnerable, and usually respond in one of three ways: obsess over it, ignore it, or embrace it. These translate to attachment styles:

• Anxious (obsess): You want closeness, but worry about whether people really care about you. You overthink texts, actions, or signs of affection and may need constant reassurance.

• Avoidant (ignore): You overly value independence and often pull away when relationships feel too close or intense. You may struggle to express emotions or rely on others.

• Secure (embrace): You feel comfortable with closeness and trust in relationships. You can rely on others and also let them rely on you without stress.

Now if you just read that and thought to yourself “oh no,” don’t worry. I’ve dated and have been every one of these attachment styles at different times. And when I spent sleepless nights thinking “why am I like this?” or “why are they like this?” it all pointed back to low self-worth.

When you have strong self-worth, vulnerability feels less scary. You know your value. You trust that showing your true feelings, even if rejected, will not lessen that value. So when a new relationship holds up that mirror exposing everything, it doesn’t send you into a spiral.

The 7-day self-love challenge (or any exercise that builds self-worth) prepares you for that moment. When it comes time to open up, ask for help, or express your needs, it will feel easier. Securing your self-worth now is doing your part to create a healthy relationship later.

Funny how it all can start before you are even in a relationship.

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

Many of us show deep care for others, but struggle to give that same care to ourselves. Sometimes because we don’t fully believe we deserve it.

This is about changing that belief by simply showing up. Each time you act despite that doubt, you build proof that you are worthy of love. So you eventually believe it!

The Commitment: For the next 7 days, choose ONE of the following actions to commit to.

1. Make your bed in the morning

2. Take a 10 minute walk

3. Clean your room for 5 minutes

4. Drink one entire bottle of water

Set a Time & Place: Psychologists call this an “implementation intention.” If you set a time and place to do your one action each day, it helps with follow through.

If you’d like some accountability, comment below with “I’m in” and the action you are choosing. If you’d rather keep it private, that’s okay too. 😊

Remember, this is opt-in. Modify anything you need to your body’s needs.

And if you miss a day, there is no shame. Just own it. Consistency is not about doing “the thing” perfectly everyday, it is about continuing to try even when things don’t go as planned. And honesty is more important than perfection.

If you’re tired of letting yourself down, this is for you.

If you want to view yourself differently in 7 days, this is for you.

If you want to prove to yourself you CAN change, this is for you.

Let’s do this together,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

“What does it mean to love yourself?”

My therapist once asked me this and I didn’t know. So she had me write down everything that helped me feel loved, and then asked which of those I could do for myself.

The problem is some of them I didn’t want to do for myself. Some of them I didn’t even feel I deserved.

So she had me do this exercise; I suggest you try it as well:

1. On a piece of paper (or your phone), write “I am”

2. Then, write every word that immediately comes to mind. Don’t think about it or try to fix it, just write honestly.

3. Once you’ve finished, look over your list. Is it more kind or more critical?

Knowing how you currently view yourself is a great place to start when it comes to self-love, because it determines what you think you deserve and how you treat yourself.

The first time I understood what self-love felt like, I was surprisingly not in a therapy session. I was at the gym. I had just finished a difficult workout, looked in the mirror, and thought to myself “what is the point of all this?” There was no one in my life who cared about how I looked or if I was healthy. There was only me.

Suddenly, I felt a warm feeling on my heart as I realized I am only doing this for me. Taking care of myself for me. I am that important. I am worth doing this for.

And so are you.

In whatever way you choose to show yourself love, you are worth it.

Warm Wishes,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷

No, I mean seriously. Are you a 1? Maybe a 4? How about a 3.5?

Take a minute to just feel that feeling. Don’t judge the feeling. Don’t fix it. Just breathe. Inhale. Exhale.

Thank you for doing that. I hope that whatever you’re feeling right now, you can let it exist without pressure to be different.

That question is one out of 5 that I used to ask myself at the beginning/end of each month when I first started my healing journey. It was originally meant to be used for tracking progress and accomplishments, but eventually it became one of the many ways I care for myself and my mental well-being. And that is truly the most important “accomplishment.”

Here are the 5 questions. Ask yourself these right now, and once a month. Remember, do not judge yourself for your answers. Do not try to fix anything. Where you are at right now is enough. 💚

1. How are you feeling today on a scale of 1-5?

2. How has your sleeping been?

3. How has your hydration + eating been?

4. What is one thing you would like to change this week?

This is meant to be simple and easily do-able, such as putting away laundry, buying a new toothbrush, or moving a chair in your room.

5. What is one thing you are looking forward to?

This last question is my favorite because it is meant to provide hope. Healing is not only about the past, but also about the belief that you can create a better future. Some examples here could be a birthday, seeing a friend or your pet later, or even just going to bed tonight. 🌙

Record your answers on paper, in your notes app, or on a recording. I used to make videos of myself answering these questions so I could go back and watch them later. Doing that gave me this perspective:

Fresh starts can happen at any time of year. And growth is always happening.

I try to remember this especially as January comes to an end.

Warm Wishes,

Lauren Cassidy 🌷