Case in point: My bright four-year-old was waking up at 6 a.m. to use the potty and go number two. She needed help wiping and would call out for Mommy and Daddy from the bathroom. But nobody came. Down the hall, we have sound machines flanking our bed, blasting white noise to drown out my husband’s boarish snoring. So the next morning, she brought a whistle to the bathroom. We woke up to the blaring, high-pitched tweets. Her plan worked. She now stores a whistle in her bathroom. Hilarious and kinda genius.

When I say these years are “demanding,” I mean that I literally have to clean my kids’ tushies. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love being “Mama.”

It’s certainly affected my style and the pieces I buy for home life. There’s “city Lauren,” who wears dry-clean-only dresses and leather shoes. And there’s “suburban mom Lauren,” draped in black athleisure (to hide the ketchup stains) and sneakers.

In the early days, I didn’t have the mental capacity to make sharp sartorial choices for my parenting style, especially when breastfeeding or managing a changing postpartum body. My former colleague and fashion editor, Leah Melby Clinton, dubbed these years “on-the-floor clothes,” and it stuck with me.

As my girls enter preschool 4s and first grade, I’m investing in all of our styles. Though if I’m being vulnerable here, dressing for the playground, a school function, or kids’ birthday parties still doesn’t come as naturally to me. Perhaps because “city Lauren” is connected to my pre-kids identity, she’s easier for me to access. I love feeling doll up and polished.

The suburban uniform involves looking intentional, yet effortlessly casual. I’m not particularly sporty, and I don’t love the way jeans and sneakers look on me (as a 5 ft 1.5 inch woman, I prefer my longer jeans with heels). Matching sets have been a savior, and I’m thankful they’re still trending for fall.

While I’m still in the thick of these intense years of parenting, creating a chic uniform helps keep me sane. Here’s what’s on my wish list this back-to-school season.

Crisp T-Shirt

The one item that makes the most noticeable difference is a fresh tee. I buy them seasonally because a worn-out T-shirt is an instant outfit killer. Once the neckline is stretched, the armpits are discolored, and the cotton is worn, it’s time to move it to the “pajamas” pile and invest in a new tee.

I look for ones that are cropped (without being midriff-baring), boxy, and cotton. For an inexpensive option, I love this $15 tee. If you’re willing to spend a bit more, you can’t go wrong with this classic T-shirt or this influencer-beloved one. I own multiple T-shirts from all three of these brands and can confirm they’re flattering and wash well.

Matching Sweats Sets

We’ve already established that we all love matching sets. It’s the easiest way to essentially wear sweats and look cute. A one-and-done outfit. My most-complimented sets are typically from Alo Yoga. Currently eyeing these lightweight pants with the matching zip-up sweatshirt. And here’s the same look for less: similar pants with its zip-up sweatshirt in navy (a nice break from the typical all-black).

Adidas Samba Mary Janes

Calling it now: Adidas Samba Mary Janes are going to be the “it” shoe for moms sitting on the soccer sidelines this fall. I tried a few pairs, and while some looked awkward and bulky, this cream, suede-trimmed pair is surprisingly flattering. Already rocking them with dresses and shorts, with plans to pair them with cropped jeans in September.

Baseball Cap

The other “it” accessory of New York fall is, of course, a Knicks hat. (And for my non-New Yorkers, go with your home team.) I already bought this one in black. Honorable mentions include this retro white cap and this unique Target find. I’m also a fan of this tan Polo baseball cap, which strategically matches our Alo set.

Delicate, Layered Jewelry

Just like your mint-condition tee, sporting some fresh gems can instantly elevate a basic outfit. Aside from my wedding ring and a few necklaces, I mainly wear costume jewelry…but you’d never know. My latest secret is a brand called Electric Picks (fun fact: the founder, MJ Carlson, lives in Rye and is absolutely lovely).

The pieces are made by a metalsmith who also makes high-end jewelry, so these jewels look pretty damn close to the real stuff for a fraction of the price (we’re talking under $100 for many). And as someone who is allergic to nickel, I can wear the hypoallergenic pieces no problem.

Since I got this gorgeous dainty necklace, I haven’t taken it off, and it layers well with my other gold necklaces. I also got a drop necklace similar to this one that feels a little edgy and a little preppy at the same time. Currently in my cart: these earrings that work with gold or silver pieces, this ring that snakes around the pinkie, and this trendy hand chain I’ve seen MJ wear that just looks so cool (she swears she even plays tennis in it).

Barrel-Style, Drawstring Pants

This is a very specific item that will make your weekend style: 100-percent cotton cropped pants with a slight barrel leg and drawstring waist. Picture yourself wearing these effortlessly cool, yet comfortable pants during apple picking or an outdoor birthday party (when you want it to feel like fall but it’s actually still summer on the East Coast). Now add your crisp white T-shirt and Samba Mary Janes. You’re the coolest mom—not shvitzing—chasing your little one around some Connecticut farm.

If those pants are above the price point you’d like to spend, try these pants or this pair for a similar vibe.

Denim Topper

If you’re not ready to give up wearing leggings as pants—same. Label us “millennial cringe” all you want. One way I keep them looking modern is by wearing my leggings with an updated denim layer. I own this Levi’s ‘90s Trucker Jacket in brown and often receive a steady stream of compliments when I wear it. The trick: roll up the sleeves one more time so it doesn’t look sloppy.

For a more classic look, try the trucker jacket in a dark denim wash. Or match with me in this buttery-soft, light denim button-down I wear over everything from long dresses to pants.

Most of the pieces I shared above are relatively affordable, from brands like GAP, Target, and Levi’s. Even my jewelry is sneakily inexpensive. Where I like to level up: bags. Again, millennial cringe, but I love designer bags. They just give a casual outfit an instant point of view. I don’t really wear designer shoes or logos elsewhere, so I’m okay with some chichi arm candy. And since I can’t drop $3-$5K regularly, borrowing bags from Vivrelle is my new thing. Last month, I rented a pristine Chanel chain bag; this month I’m going with a multicolored Hermès Casaque Picotin I can’t wait to drape on my elbow.

Bonus: Back-to-School Shopping for Them

Stylish Kids’ Backpacks

My girls get treated to nice bags, too. Each school year, I snag them a new STATE Kane backpack and matching lunchbox. First of all, the designs are truly stylish and playful: metallic gradient finishes, festive patches, and unique patterns. But most importantly, they’re functional. These bags can get truly beat up and withstand it thanks to water-resistant recycled polyester shells, durable zippers, and easy-to-wipe interior pockets. I’ve successfully been able to pass the bags down from one kid to the next. But you might not want to, since you can monogram them.

Another fun fact: the founder, Jacqueline Tatelman, grew up in my hometown, Rye Brook. There are also adult bags, and I am lusting after this brown tote that has Khaite vibes. It’s recycled nylon and vegan leather, meaning it’s perfect for on-the-floor mom life.

Tell me: What is the one item you buy each season to make your wardrobe feel fresh?

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Thanks for shopping with me! You can access the full collection here.

xx,
LL

In my humble opinion, the Backstreet Boys never left.

Sure, the boys are “back” at the Sphere in Las Vegas for their Y2K-inspired summer residency. And yes, thousands of millennials booked tickets and dressed in all white to relive the soundtrack of our youth.

For me, this wasn’t a nostalgic trip down memory lane. It was a continuation of deep fandom. Call me “the perfect fan.”

The Backstreet Boys have been my favorite group since the '90s. They’re my most-played artist on Spotify. I don’t just listen to the hits, I’m dancing around my bathroom to the deep cuts. (If you haven’t heard DNA, their 2019 album, I highly recommend it.)

Their music has been the soundtrack to breakups, long commutes, early motherhood days, and random Tuesday afternoons when I need a mood boost. Around our house, my daughters don’t even call them the Backstreet Boys anymore. We’ve rebranded them as “the five dads,” and my four-year-old can belt out every word to I Want It That Way (or as she calls it, “You Are My Fire”).

When I heard they were playing at the Sphere this summer, I finally got my act together to snag a seat and make my boy band dreams come true. Frankly, I can’t believe it took me this long to book the trip.

I’ve seen the boys perform before, but nothing—and I truly mean nothing—prepared me for what I experienced in Las Vegas. It felt like a religious experience, thanks to the incredible sound quality, the fact that the boys are still singing and dancing like this in their 40s and 50s, and the energy of being surrounded by mega fans like me. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since, and my Instagram algorithm is now a nonstop stream of BSB Sphere videos.

If you’re looking for a sign to go, this is it. I’m already hoping they announce winter dates. Until then, here’s everything I did, wore, and what I’d do differently next time (because obviously I’m going again).

Why This Show Meant So Much to Me

This was far from my first Backstreet Boys concert.

Right around the time Black & Blue came out, my litigator dad was brought onto a case representing the boys. Family lore goes that he walked into their hotel suite for a meeting and Nick Carter answered the door wearing nothing but a towel. (Needless to say, my high school friends and I were wildly jealous.)

As a thank you to Paul, the band gave my dad tickets to their Nassau Coliseum show. He packed seven screaming girls into our minivan and drove us from Westchester to Long Island while we belted Backstreet Boys songs the entire way there...and the entire way home. Dad earned serious points that day.

I kept going back. And when I couldn’t see them perform, I listened to them on my Discman, then my iPod Nano, and eventually my iPhone. When I was the Fashion News Editor at ELLE.com, my boss happened to be friends with their manager. She surprised me with tickets to their Jones Beach show and backstage passes, where I finally got to meet all five of the boys. They were as charming as you’d expect.

A few years later, I saw an intimate iHeartRadio performance in New York City (thanks to a bestie who worked for the company). Most recently, in 2024, I saw AJ McLean and Joey Fatone perform at The Capitol Theater near my home, which was a rockin’ good time.

My devotion to these five harmonizing singers has been a long time in the making. As much as I loved every show, the Sphere was next level. I was obsessed with it all—from Nick’s seductive moves during “Am I Sexual…yeahhh?” to AJ’s goosebump-inducing solo in “Drowning” and the synchronized choreography in “I’ll Be the One.”

Backstreet Boys Weekend Prep

How I Snagged Tickets

I was lucky enough to snag tickets to opening weekend, Friday night (the July 17, 2026 show). Here’s how we did it: My friend, Marina, and I split a BSB Army Fan Club membership to access presale tickets. The advice I got: there’s no “bad” seat in the Sphere, unless you’re under the obstructed view in section 100. We scored affordable tickets in section 309, seats that allowed us to take in all of the dazzling visuals.

Don’t make my mistake: Spend more on lower-center seats, such as Sections 100 or 200, preferably in the first few rows. Seeing the show in the 300s was incredible, but next time, I would like a closer look at the choreography and their facial expressions (apparently Brian hams it up for the crowd). I’m not really a GA girl, so I’ll pay up for premium.

Choosing a Vegas Hotel

It was either the Palazzo or the Venetian, connecting hotels with about 40 restaurants, and (the most important part), an air-conditioned tunnel leading straight to the Sphere. Since I went to Vegas in July with 100-degree heat, I wanted to avoid being outside as much as possible.

These two hotels also serve as Backstreet Boys fan headquarters. Staying at the Palazzo and Venetian felt like checking into one big women's pop music retreat—a Backstreet Boys sorority. Everywhere we looked, groups of women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s were dressed in signature white and Millennium blue. The vibe was joyful, supportive, and a refreshing break from the typical Vegas crowd.

There’s also a special experience shop, dubbed the Backstreet Boys Terminal, which is decked out in BSB paraphernalia (retro magazine covers), a faux MTV TRL set, a themed bar, and merch.

Don’t make this mistake: I left behind an Aviator Nation x Backstreet Boys sweatshirt because I figured I’d buy it later. Wrong. It’s exclusive to the Terminal, so you can’t get it online. Thankfully, I had a contact at Aviator Nation who tracked one down for me after I got home, but don’t count on getting that lucky. Buy the swag.

It’s truly the softest, coolest concert piece I’ve ever owned, and I’ve been wearing it non-stop.

OK, back to the hotel. After going down a Reddit rabbit hole comparing the Palazzo and Venetian, I landed on the Palazzo. Both hotels have oversized suites and direct indoor access to the Sphere, so the deciding factor came down to ambiance. The Palazzo is known for being a little quieter, and I preferred the softer, neutral color palette over the Venetian’s signature reds. That said, at times, the hotel felt too busy. Walking through the casino reminded us of being in Penn Station during rush hour.

Don’t make this mistake: If I go back, I’m hoping to book the Wynn hotel. The Wynn is gorgeous, calmer, and more luxurious. There’s the whimsical, floral lobby, which reminded me of an adults-only version of Wonderland. Chic shopping (we’re talking Chanel, Hermès), and some of the most exclusive restaurants (like Delilah).

I didn’t realize how close the Wynn is also to the Sphere. While you do have to step outside to get to the tunnel inside the Venetian, you walk across one bridge (similar in size to a NYC block), and you get a perfect view of the Sphere on your way. It’s an ideal backdrop for pictures.

My Weekend Play-by-Play

Before I went, I also researched the timing of everything. Vegas isn’t necessarily an “easy” place to get around. Simply going to CVS can feel like a maze of escalators and bridges. I grilled friends who went for the show on their itineraries and trolled BSB Facebook groups for intel.

Day 1: Thursday

1:30 p.m. Arrive and check in
2 p.m. Late lunch at the pool
4-6 p.m. Rest (a.k.a., film Reels in the room) or explore (a.k.a., shop)
6-7 p.m. Get glam
7 p.m. Pre-dinner drink at Parasol Bar at the Wynn (sophisticated stop to grab a crisp glass of bubbly)
8 p.m. Dinner at Delilah at the Wynn
10 p.m. Late-night stop at the BSB Terminal

Chef’s Kiss Tip 🤌: If you can get a reservation at Delilah, make it (the concierge at the Palazzo helped us get in). The no-photos-allowed restaurant is inspired by a 1950s supper club with a live, jazzy band singing modern covers and sequin-and-feather-clad dancers. It’s a total vibe. My favorite bites were the tuna tartare with crispy rice chips and the spicy crab pasta.

Don’t make this mistake: Getting off a dehydrating flight and then sitting outside in 105-degree midday heat was not a good idea. I immediately got dehydrated and had to rest in bed with a giant coconut water after lunch. I wish we skipped the pool in favor of lunch indoors at Sugarcane, a modern American fare restaurant my friends all raved about.

Day 2: Friday

9 a.m. Breakfast at Yardbird (perfect Southern comfort food hangover spot—we’re talking country bread with honey butter and jam)
10 a.m. Pilates class at Canyon Ranch in the Palazzo (a little spicy and quite restorative)
12 p.m. Lunch at Miznon (casual Mediterranean food made by an Israeli chef)
1 p.m. Massage and spa time at Canyon Ranch
4 p.m. Blowouts at Drybar (there’s a bar and live DJ)
5-6:15 p.m. Get glam, film Reel
6:30 p.m. Dinner at Wakuda (chic sushi spot in the Palazzo)
8 p.m. Walk to the Sphere
8:30 p.m. Sit down for the show as it starts at 8:40 p.m.

Chef’s Kiss Tip 🤌: Unless you’re going to dayge (day rage), skip the pool. The scene at the Palazzo was meh, and in July, it’s just too hot! The Canyon Ranch spa was epic. According to my masseuse, it’s considered the “largest day spa in the U.S.” (I have yet to fact-check this). I spent hours taking advantage of the therapies from the wave room (a sensorial meditation room), the pristine infrared sauna, and the cold plunge pool. It’s the ideal wellness antidote to Vegas’ blaring energy.

Don’t make this mistake: The Backstreet Boys truly don’t take the stage until 8:30-8:40 p.m., so we opted for a later dinner to give ourselves extra time to get ready and enjoy the day. I think 6 p.m. is the sweet spot reservation time; I wouldn’t have minded an extra 20 minutes or so to explore the Sphere.

Day 3: Saturday

7 a.m. GTFO of Vegas on the first departing flight

Chef’s Kiss Tip 🤌: The plane is always there at 7 a.m., and you don’t have to worry about delays.

What I Wore

When the residency was announced, the Backstreet Boys asked fans to wear all white in honor of the Millennium album cover. The BSB Army has since interpreted that as all white with pops of silver and baby blue. Obviously, I overthought my outfit for weeks.

Here’s what I landed on for the concert. It felt celebratory without being too Y2K costume-y.

Outfit details: this Susana Monaco white halter top, a light-wash Levi’s button-down (pop of blue), sequined Simon Miller mini skirt (via Rent the Runway), a fresh pair of Adidas Sambas, and this stunning Chanel bag (via Vivrelle).

I finished the look with ColourPop eyeshadow, face gems, and retro pink Chanel lip gloss.

For dinner at Delilah, I wanted something sexy and retro.

I landed on this Ronny Kobo lace slip dress from Rent the Runway with Vince strappy sandals (which are a few years old, but you can shop similar ones here). I styled it with my borrowed Chanel bag. For 50% off your first month renting at Rent the Runway, use this code.

To bum around the hotel and spa, I wore a Z Supply eyelet set. It features a boho top (from my white summer edit) and matching shorts. I paired it with these Farm Rio thong jellies that are beyond comfy (love this color, too), and my go-to Clare V. crochet tote.

Renting a special Chanel bag for Vegas made the outfits, IMO. I got to wear a unique piece, featuring a gradient silver-to-black fade, and it packs flat. If you’d like to try renting a designer bag, Vivrelle is offering Chef’s Kiss readers an exclusive perk: use the code LAURENLEVINSON to rent a bag for free (no strings attached) for one month.

Shop all of my Vegas outfits here, including the flattering swimsuit I wore to the spa.

As if the weekend couldn’t get any better, Kevin commented on my outfit reveal Reel after I got home. Life. Made.

Tell me: were you a Nick, Brian, AJ, Kevin, or Howie fan? I was always a Brian.

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If you’re heading to the show soon, share this with a friend for outfit planning.

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xx,
LL

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You want Shana Koransky in your corner. The first time I met the Rye Brook-based realtor a few years ago, I was instantly charmed. She’s bubbly, confident, and genuinely fun. But not in an intimidating way. In fact, I remember her asking me for fashion advice. Were her skinny jeans still in style? Well...not exactly. (But you already know how I feel about that.) It was a moms’ karaoke night, and she was belting her heart out. Later, I learned she’s a fellow theater kid, which totally tracks.

I wasn’t sure our paths would cross much. Our daughters aren’t the same age (hers are 12-year-old twins, Skylar and Hannah, and 9-year-old Nora; mine are 4 and 6). Turns out we kept ending up in each other’s orbit—whether it was chance encounters on the train to Goose concerts or through mutual friends (she helped several of mine buy their homes).

Speaking of, everyone who works with her as a realtor loves her. She doesn’t just help people find their dream home; she helps them find their place in our small—OK, I’ll say it, sometimes cliquey—town. Whether she’s whispering at a party, “You’d love so-and-so,” adding newcomers to the girl-mom text chain, or inviting the whole block over, she’s a connector.

Behind the shining personality is someone who’s endured unimaginable loss. During the height of the pandemic, Shana lost both of her parents three years apart. Her dad to COVID-19, her mom to cancer. Nothing could have prepared her for it.

Shana channeled her grief into purpose. She began organizing fundraising events in honor of her parents, eventually creating BAKyard Jams, a vibey night of live music at Crawford Park. It raises money for SCOPE, an organization that helps children from under-resourced communities experience camp.

I attended last year and had an absolute blast. In a Coachella-inspired outfit, I enjoyed live music that ended in an epic '90s dance party. It was exactly the kind of carefree summer night out we all needed. This year’s event is Friday, July 31, and if you haven’t bought tickets yet, keep reading because I’m giving away two VIP tickets at the end of this post.

But this isn’t about me and how much I love supporting this event that raises money to help send kids to sleepaway camp. It’s about Shana. So I’ll let her fill you in on why you need to book that babysitter, plus what not to say to a grieving friend, and how to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Meet Shana

If someone has never met you, how would your friends describe you?

Shana Koransky: I’m known as a connector. I genuinely love bringing people together, whether that’s introducing someone to new friends, helping them find the perfect town to call home, sharing a local business they’ll become obsessed with, or connecting them to a cause worth supporting.

What’s a side of you that doesn’t always come across on Instagram?

SK: My friends also love to laugh at my “woo-woo” side. Over the past few years, I’ve found myself drawn to Buddhist teachings and philosophy. I’ve learned to focus on gratitude, presence, and what I can control instead of getting stuck on what’s missing. I trust the universe because so much is simply out of our control.

What’s something people assume about you that’s completely wrong?

SK: Because I’m outgoing and involved in a lot of different things, people assume I’m a complete extrovert. I love being around people, but my social battery runs out pretty quickly. When it does, I disappear, hibernate for a bit, recharge, and then pop back up as if nothing happened.

How do you recharge?

SK: If the weather is nice, you’ll usually find me hiking. I’ve made it my mission to discover the best trails in Westchester. When I’m home, I put on music and paint. Nature, music, and art are forms of therapy for me. I also love escaping to Beacon for solo trips. I’m obsessed with the glassblowing studio there and am mesmerized by the live demonstrations.

House Talk

What made you pivot from education to real estate?

SK: I was a teacher before I had children. When I was pregnant with the twins, we moved to Westchester, and I stayed home with them for four years. I’m a natural connector, so I kept introducing people who were looking to move to a friend of mine who was a real estate agent. Eventually, he encouraged me to get my license. What was supposed to be a part-time job quickly became a full-time business.

How did teaching prepare you for real estate?

SK: I’ve always loved helping people, so in many ways the career didn’t change as much as people think. Education taught me patience, communication, and how to meet people where they are. Real estate lets me combine those skills with marketing, event planning, negotiation, and community.

I also grew up in a family that renovated and invested in homes, so I’ve always loved helping people see a home’s potential, not just what it looks like today.

You’re constantly inside beautiful homes. What design trends are you loving right now?

SK: I love seeing homeowners take risks with color, texture, and design instead of making every room look like it came straight from a catalog. I’m obsessed with wallpaper, especially papers that have personality and make a statement. In my own bar, I have wallpaper featuring monkeys smoking cigars, drinking vodka, and holding up red bras. I absolutely love it. Is it a little awkward as the background for Zoom calls? Yes. Do my children cringe and tell me they’re embarrassed every time someone sees it? Also yes. Do I have any intention of changing it? Absolutely not.

Which trends are you officially over?

SK: Gray floors. Gray walls. Gray kitchens. For years, everything felt cool-toned and sterile. I’m so happy to see warmth making a comeback. I’m seeing more beige, cream, taupe, rich woods, and earthy colors that make a home feel inviting and lived in. I just bought a delicious tan blanket, and I feel like it screams: come cuddle in me! Homes are starting to feel personal again instead of looking like every flip on the market.

The Road to Rye Brook

You’re a Rye native who eventually made your way back, first settling in Irvington before moving to Rye Brook [editor’s note: Rye and Rye Brook are different towns].

SK: After living in the city, I moved to Irvington when my twins were born. Literally. They were born on a Friday, and we moved into our new house that Sunday. I was drawn to Irvington’s laid-back vibe. I loved the farmers markets, being on the water, and the outdoorsy feel.

At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom, and when I eventually went back to work, I depended heavily on my parents to help with the girls. They lived in Harrison, and while it was only about a 20-minute drive, rush hour often doubled that. I realized I wanted to be closer to them, as well as my brother’s family in Bedford.

How did Rye Brook become home?

SK: I had made close friends in Rye Brook, so we started looking there. The more time I spent there, the more I knew it was where I wanted to raise my family. Our house was on the market for three years before we bought it. The minute I walked through the door, I knew it was ours. It needed a lot of work, but all I saw was a blank canvas

Ironically, I moved to be closer to my parents, especially my dad, who was always the one I relied on most. Less than a year later, he passed away.

Grief & Loss

You lost both of your parents during the COVID-19 pandemic, an unimaginable loss. Would you be willing to share what happened and how it changed your life and perspective?

SK: My dad was an incredible man who truly loved helping people. Before we fully understood how contagious COVID was, he was helping clients with their taxes, grocery shopping for neighbors, and doing anything he could for others. He was diagnosed with COVID in March 2020 and passed away a month later.

About a year later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and after fighting incredibly hard, she passed away the following year. Within three years, life as I knew it had completely turned upside down.

Nothing prepares you for the role reversal of becoming the one caring for your parents and then navigating the grief of losing them, let alone both within such a short period of time.

I never allowed myself to stay in the mindset of, “Why did this happen to me?” Instead, I focused on turning my pain into purpose and finding ways to keep my parents’ legacy alive.

Is there something someone said or did for you that you’ll never forget?

SK: Until I experienced the loss of my dad, I never realized how uncomfortable people can feel when trying to support someone who’s grieving.

I actually talk to people about this a lot now. Questions like, “How are you?” can feel impossible to answer. Sometimes a simple, “I’m thinking of you,” or even a random ❤️ just to let someone know they’re on your mind means so much more. I personally avoid saying things like, “They wouldn’t want you to be sad,” or, “At least they were here for…” When people said that to me, I’d smile politely, but internally I’d be thinking, “I know… but I also don’t want them to be gone.” Or, “I know… but there are still so many moments I wish they were here to see.”

Most importantly, you don’t need the perfect words. Just showing up and letting someone know they’re not alone is enough.

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What about the people who showed up for you?

SK: Looking back, I can’t fully put into words what the Rye Brook community did for me. During the hardest chapter of my life, this town wrapped its arms around my family. My friends showed up in ways I’ll never forget, neighbors became family, and the support we received carried us through an unimaginable time. I truly don’t know how we would have gotten through it without the support of everyone here.

How has losing your parents changed the way you parent your own daughters?

SK: It’s made me much more intentional. When I think back on my own childhood, it isn’t the big moments I remember most. It’s the in-between moments: running errands, talking about life, cooking together, listening to music. Those are the memories that stuck with me, and I try to create as many of those moments as I can with my girls.

I also take way too many pictures, both of them and with them. They’re constantly telling me to stop.

Once Upon a BAKyard Jams

What is the story behind BAKyard Jams?

SK: BAKyard Jams actually started as a Color War event. I wanted to create something fun that brought the community together while honoring my parents and staying connected to something that defined so much of my childhood: camp.

The first year, I pulled it together in just six weeks, and about 100 people came. The second year, we had over 200. The response was so overwhelming that I realized it had the potential to become something much bigger.

I also realized trying to wrangle 200 adults over 40 into a giant game of tug-of-war without someone getting hurt wasn’t exactly sustainable!

Music has always been a huge part of my life and something that instantly makes me think of my parents, so transforming Color War for a Cause into BAKyard Jams, a concert for a cause, felt like the most natural evolution. BAK stands for Bob and Karen, my parents.

How did you choose the cause you wanted to support?

SK: Choosing SCOPE as our beneficiary was another easy decision. My parents gave me the magical gift of 12 summers at sleepaway camp. Knowing we could help send children who commit to staying in school to camp while also opening the door to future college scholarships felt like the perfect way to honor them.

You have a full-time job, three kids, a thriving social life... and you’re planning this event. What does a day in the life of Shana look like? How do you do it all?

SK: Honestly… I ask myself that question all the time! I’m a huge believer in time blocking. My mornings are when I work out. My afternoons are dedicated to real estate, whether that’s creating marketing campaigns, planning client events, putting together listing presentations, or searching for homes for my buyers. At night, BAKyard Jams comes alive. That’s when the sponsorship emails, spreadsheets, and planning happen.

What should people expect from BAKyard Jam this year?

SK: Expect a really fun night! We’re kicking things off with one of my favorite local bands, Color TV. They’re incredibly talented and happen to play a lot of my favorite jams, including plenty of Grateful Dead. Then Fresh Kids of Bel Air take the stage. They’re an amazing ‘90s band that knows how to bring the party. We’ll end the night with a full-blown dance party led by DJ Mitch Please. Everyone raves about him, and I’m pinching myself that we get to have him as part of BAKyard Jams.

Can’t wait! Also, what are you wearing?

SK: Right now, I’m deciding between a denim romper or my favorite satin, lace-trimmed skort with a boxy T-shirt. My style is always comfort first. I’m obsessed with sneakers. You will rarely find me in anything with a heel. For BAKyard Jams, though, I have one rule: if I can’t dance in it, I’m not wearing it!

That said, I am the last person you should ask for fashion advice or what the latest trend is. My most frequently sent text is: “Are you by your phone? I have to leave in 15 minutes and have no idea if this outfit works.”

Being a Jam-Band Girlie

Where did your love of live music begin?

SK: My parents! I grew up listening to The Beatles, Billy Joel, and music from the 50’s and 60’s. In middle school, I discovered Joni Mitchell, Janis Joplin, Queen, Simon & Garfunkel, and the Grateful Dead. I found Phish in high school. I remember going to Sam Ash and buying stacks of CDs, unfolding the cover to read the lyrics while listening to the music on repeat. Plus, I went to theater camp, so my days were filled with music from morning to night.

You’re also a theater kid.

SK: When I was five years old, my parents got me tickets to see Peter Pan on Broadway for Hanukkah. I spent the entire show nudging my mom, saying, “I want to do that. I want to sing on stage.” I took voice lessons and began doing community theater all over Westchester. I spent the next nine summers at Stagedoor Manor, a theater camp in the Catskills. I performed through middle and high school, but stopped when I got to college.

Recently, I started taking voice lessons again. There’s something really special about reconnecting with something that made you so happy as a kid. I don’t care if I’m ever good. It just makes me happy; and at this point in life, that’s reason enough.

How many concerts do you think you’ve seen over the year?

SK: This was fun to count. I’d say I’ve probably been to close to 20 concerts over the last year. Living next to The Cap [The Capitol Theater] makes it easy!

What were the best ones?

SK: My favorite recent shows are Phish and JRAD. I get completely lost in the music and lights. I think about my parents a lot, and I feel most connected to them when I’m at a show.

Which artists are on repeat right now?

SK: Making playlists is my all-time favorite thing. My playlists are a little all over the place, and I love it that way. Lately it’s been Phish, Grateful Dead, Billy Joel, The Avett Brothers, Tedeschi Trucks Band, Lord Huron, mixed with Broadway. I’m telling you—they’re scattered!

Life & Friendship

Living in a close-knit community has so many upsides, but it also comes with everyone knowing everyone. How do you navigate that?

SK: I actually think authenticity solves most of it. People are always going to have opinions, but I’ve learned I can’t control that. I can control how I show up. If you’re kind, genuine, and celebrate other people’s successes, it usually comes back around.

If someone moved to Rye Brook tomorrow and knew no one, what would you tell them?

SK: Explore! There are so many amazing things right at your fingertips. Go for walks in Pine Ridge. You’ll instantly meet people. Check out the restaurants within 10 minutes of town. I’ve met people just by eating at the bar. I love Polpo, Eastend, Aurora, and 1881 Kitchen.

Also, say yes to things, even if they’re outside your comfort zone. Rye Brook is such a welcoming community. If you’re invited somewhere, don’t be shy. You’ll meet great people. Before you know it, you’ll start recognizing familiar faces everywhere you go.

One thing every Westchester family should do this summer?

SK: Go to Rye Beach and the boardwalk for live music! It’s one of my favorite summer traditions.

What’s something you’ve learned about yourself over the past few years that surprised you?

SK: One of the biggest surprises has been realizing how much energy I used to spend worrying about things that either didn’t really matter or I couldn’t control. I overanalyzed everything, cared way too much about what people thought, and I still laugh when I come across an Instagram meme that perfectly describes my old anxious brain.

I’ve learned to stay present. I spend less time glued to my phone, less time worrying about what’s next, and more time paying attention to what’s happening right in front of me. The past is over, the future isn’t promised, and all we really have is today.

If there’s an experience I want to have with my girls, we make it happen. If there’s a concert I want to see, I buy the ticket. And if I see a way to make a difference, I organize the fundraiser.

We get one shot at this life. I’d rather fill mine with meaningful experiences, the people I love, and opportunities to give back than spend it waiting for the “perfect” time.

Easy!

If Shana’s story inspired you or you’re excited about BAKyard Jams, tap the 🤍 at the bottom—it really means a lot.

xx,
LL

Reader Perks

Need a little beauty or wellness prep before BAKyard Jams? Here are a few exclusive Chef’s Kiss reader perks:

🤌 The Beauty Loft: Use code LAUREN10 (or mention my name) for 20% off a Brazilian lymphatic drainage massage or facial through August. Read my full review of this body-sculpting treatment here.

🤌 Basilica Studios: Mention my name for 20% off your first facial.

🤌 Pause Studio: Mention Chef’s Kiss for 30% off a single service or 15% off a package. (I go for the infrared sauna, cold plunge, and cryotherapy.)

🤌 Melissa Wood Health: Use code LAURENLEV5 for 66% off your subscription. I recently started streaming her workouts and love how efficient they are.

🤌 Vivrelle: Use code LAURENLEVINSON for your first month free of designer bag rentals. I rented a gorgeous Chanel bag for Las Vegas, and it was 10/10.

🤌 Glamsquad: Use code LAURENLEV for $20 off. (Yes—they just launched in Westchester and Connecticut. More details coming soon.)

🤌 Cured Nutrition: Use code LAURENLEVINSON for 15% off CBD gummies.

Read More

The number one question I'm asked by friends is: Where do I get a lymphatic drainage massage? Followed by: Does it actually work?

(If I’m being honest, I didn’t have a go-to spot! I like to think of myself as your local beauty expert, and while I know exactly where to go for facial sculpting, body contouring was something I had yet to tackle.)

My mission was clear: go into full journalist/guinea pig mode and find the best Brazilian lymphatic drainage massage within driving distance of Westchester.

First, I knew it had to be Brazilian lymphatic drainage, not just a regular lymphatic massage. (Yes, there’s a difference, and we’ll get to that.) I also wanted the real deal: modern technology, tried-and-tested techniques, and someone with magic hands.

All roads pointed to The Beauty Loft in Westport, Connecticut. After seeing local wellness influencers I trust (Lana Powers and Penny Goffman) rave about their appointments on Instagram, I booked one for myself.

There are places much closer to home. There are even masseuses who’ll come to your house. But if I were going to write about it, I wanted to try the place everyone swears by.

The Beauty Loft was founded by licensed esthetician Sofia Guerrero, who has spent more than a decade in the beauty and wellness industry. The mom of two launched The Beauty Loft after the birth of her first son during the pandemic. Her goal: build a business that would allow her to keep doing what she loves while being present for her family. What began as a small side hustle quickly grew into the thriving Westport studio she runs today.

“The greatest gift was that I didn’t have to choose between my career and my family,” she told me. “I was able to build a business while being present for both of my sons during their early years.”

That nurturing spirit feels woven into every part of The Beauty Loft, from the personalized treatments to the post-service snack (I happily polished off the entire bowl of nuts).

“Throughout my career, I realized there was a growing need for a space that combined results-driven treatments with genuine care and relaxation,” she told me. That vision became The Beauty Loft. “I wanted to create more than a spa. I wanted to create a sanctuary where people leave feeling lighter, restored, and truly cared for.”

Sign. Me. Up.

Thanks to Summer Fridays, I booked an Express Lymphatic Drainage treatment—a 60-minute session designed to boost circulation and reduce puffiness—with Jenny (who was fabulous and super knowledgeable about the lymphatic system).

My timing was strategic. I had two 40th birthday parties that weekend, including one where I planned to wear a fitted all-white outfit. My cycle had just ended, and I was ready to shed the hormonal bloat and water weight.

So off I drove from Rye Brook to Westport... in an hour of Friday traffic. (If you know me, you know I don’t exactly love driving.) But it was totally worth it. Let’s dive in.

The treatment room, the cupping machine in action (press play!), and a stunning “before” and “after” of my sculpted stomach.

The Appointment

Prepare to strip down to your birthday suit. You’re given a disposable thong and a strapless-style bra to wear during the treatment. It’s probably not for anyone who’s especially modest, since your therapist is working around your stomach, hips, and thighs.

Everything after is completely customized for each person. The devices, tools, and focus areas were chosen specifically for me and my needs on that day. According to Sofia, no two treatments are truly alike.

My appointment kicked off with me standing on one of those viral vibration plates for 10 minutes in front of a full-body red light panel.

“The vibration plate activates the muscles and encourages circulation and lymphatic movement,” Sofia explained. “It helps prepare the body before treatment and continues to encourage healthy fluid movement afterward.”

Next, you’re taken to the treatment room, which is a soothing palette of creamy neutrals with glam brass accents. There’s a plush bed that can be adjusted to provide extra lumbar support.

Jenny immediately placed a red LED light device over my stomach (which felt soothing and warming) while she got to work on my legs. Apparently, the legs—especially around the knees—are one of the top places we hold onto water weight.

She used a mix of her hands, a wooden tool, and a cupping machine, which glided over skin with a suction sensation (though not a painful one). This method involves moving excess fluid towards the lymph nodes to help rid your body of toxins. Massage strokes are always towards the heart, be it up the legs or down the face.

“If you go down the leg instead of up, then you’re not bringing it anywhere and accumulating fluid where it’s not supposed to be,” Jenny clarified. The only exception is the belly, where you can move in all directions, typically clockwise, to lymphatically drain correctly.

After she finished one leg, she instructed me to hold both in the air while lying on my back. The leg she worked on felt shockingly lighter.

Next, she tackled the place I store the most bloat and puff: my belly. First, she used a cavitation machine on it for about five minutes. This non-invasive body contouring device helps to warm up the fat cells before they’re broken down through massage. The wand itself feels relaxing, but because it creates ultrasonic waves inside the body, you’ll probably hear a high-pitched sound in your ears during this part. This is caused by the ultrasonic waves traveling through tissue in the body, vibrating off your skull, and creating an internal ringing sound (can’t make this stuff up). I found it tolerable and worth it to get results in this stubborn area.

Even the eucalyptus-infused oil she used is made specifically for the lymphatic system and is meant to be absorbed. Every minute of our hour together was used strategically with smart technology and high-end products. This wasn’t just a deep massage.

My Results

So... did it work?

Ding, ding, ding.

The changes weren’t dramatic enough that someone would’ve stopped me on the street to ask what I’d done, but I noticed them immediately. My skin looked tighter against my muscles, making everything appear just a bit more toned, especially my legs. There was less bloating around my stomach, and my waist looked more defined.

What surprised me most was how I felt. It’s hard to explain until you’ve experienced it, but my body genuinely felt lighter afterward. You don’t realize how much fluid you’re carrying around until some of it is actually drained away.

“Most clients notice an immediate reduction in bloating, less water retention, and a more sculpted appearance after just one session,” says Sofia. “They often tell me they feel lighter, their clothes fit better, and they have more energy.”

The timing couldn’t have been better. That Friday night, I wore a dress that I almost always wear with Spanx... and didn’t even think about putting them on. The next night, I slipped into an all-white outfit (arguably the least forgiving color there is) and felt noticeably more snatched and confident.

I was also a little... concerned... about going out two nights in a row in my middle-aged era, but I rallied without a problem. Maybe it was the iced coffee. Maybe it was the post-treatment energy boost.

What makes lymphatic drainage so different from a typical massage is how it supports the body’s natural function, improves circulation, reduces inflammation, and enhances overall wellness, Sofia told me. The aesthetic perks are a major draw, but there’s more to the story, as this treatment offers deeper health benefits.

Don’t expect the benefits to last forever. Think a few days to about a week, depending on your body and lifestyle. And the more often you do it, the more you’ll keep it up. Consider it like a workout class: you wouldn’t do one barre class, for instance, and expect to have a newly toned body; but with consistency, you might.

If you have an event, photoshoot, or are simply feeling especially puffy (from travel, hormones, or one too many spicy margaritas), it's the treatment to book.

My one regret was booking the express treatment. Next time, I’m splurging on the longer appointment that includes facial sculpting. For the record, I’d totally sit in an hour of Friday traffic to do it again.

The Science Behind the Sculpting

Of course, I had questions. Lots of them. So after my treatment, I grilled Sofia on everything from why Brazilian lymphatic drainage actually works to ways to how to make results last longer.

What exactly is a lymphatic drainage massage, and how is it different from a traditional massage?

Sofia Guerrero: Lymphatic drainage is a gentle, rhythmic massage designed to stimulate the lymphatic system, which helps move excess fluid, reduce inflammation, and support the body’s natural detoxification process. Unlike a traditional massage, which focuses on muscles and tension, lymphatic drainage works with the body’s circulatory and immune systems. Clients often leave feeling lighter, less puffy, and more energized.

Brazilian lymphatic drainage has become incredibly popular on social media. How does it differ from traditional lymphatic drainage, if at all?

SG: Traditional lymphatic drainage is a very gentle medical technique primarily focused on reducing swelling and supporting the lymphatic system. Brazilian lymphatic drainage takes those same principles but combines them with more sculpting techniques to create immediate contouring and definition.

What are the biggest misconceptions people have about lymphatic drainage massages?

SG: One of the biggest misconceptions is that it’s only for post-surgical recovery or that it’s just a temporary cosmetic treatment. While it’s incredible for both, it’s also an important wellness treatment. A healthy lymphatic system supports circulation, reduces inflammation, helps the immune system function efficiently, and promotes overall well-being. Another misconception is that it’s painful. In reality, it should be relaxing and restorative.

Where do women in their 40s tend to retain the most water and inflammation? Are there certain areas you see over and over again?

SG: The abdomen is by far the most common area, especially as hormones begin to shift. I also frequently see water retention in the legs, ankles, arms, and face. Many women in their 40s notice that inflammation increases even when they’re eating well and exercising, and that’s often where lymphatic drainage can make a significant difference.

You use several different modalities, including red light therapy, radio frequency, cupping, and wooden tools. What does each one do, and why do you combine them?

SG: During the session, I combine manual Brazilian lymphatic drainage with techniques such as cupping, wooden tools, or radio frequency. Red light helps reduce inflammation and supports cellular repair; radio frequency stimulates collagen and skin tightening; cupping improves circulation and tissue mobility; and wooden tools assist with sculpting and lymphatic flow. Combining these therapies allows us to achieve results that are both therapeutic and aesthetic.

Beyond reducing bloating, what are some of the other benefits of lymphatic drainage that people may not realize?

SG: Many people are surprised that they sleep better, experience less muscle soreness, recover faster after workouts, feel more energized, and even notice healthier-looking skin. Because the lymphatic system plays such an important role in overall health, supporting it often creates benefits throughout the entire body, not just aesthetically.

How long do the results typically last?

SG: That depends on the individual and their lifestyle. While one treatment provides beautiful results, consistency delivers longer-lasting improvements in circulation, inflammation, and overall body contour. Many clients enjoy the visible sculpting effects for several days, while the wellness benefits often continue even longer. Staying hydrated, eating well, exercising, and maintaining regular treatments all help extend the results.

What can people do at home to maintain their results between appointments?

SG: Hydration is one of the most important things you can do. I also recommend daily movement, dry brushing, deep breathing, eating anti-inflammatory foods, and avoiding excessive sodium and alcohol when possible. Small daily habits make a huge difference in supporting the lymphatic system.

If someone is interested but on a budget, how often should they book treatments to see benefits?

SG: Ideally, I recommend starting with a few closer together if possible, especially if someone is dealing with significant inflammation or water retention. After that, many clients maintain their results with one session every three to four weeks. Even one treatment per month can make a noticeable difference.

Are there any people who should avoid lymphatic drainage massages or speak with their doctor before booking one?

SG: Yes. Anyone with an active infection, fever, untreated blood clots, severe heart conditions, uncontrolled kidney disease, or certain cancers should consult their physician before receiving treatment. Safety always comes first, which is why every client completes a thorough consultation before we begin.

What is one thing you wish more women knew about lymphatic drainage and body sculpting?

SG: I wish more women understood that body sculpting isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about helping your body function at its best. When your lymphatic system is working efficiently, you feel better, move better, and often look better naturally. My goal has never been perfection. It’s helping women feel confident, healthy, and connected to their bodies.

Anything else we should know?

SG: I always remind clients that lymphatic health isn’t just a trend; it’s an investment in your long-term wellness. Whether someone comes to us for post-surgical recovery, body sculpting, reducing inflammation, or simply to feel better, my hope is that they leave not only looking refreshed but feeling healthier, calmer, and more connected to themselves. That’s what The Beauty Loft is all about.

Tell me:

Have you tried Brazilian lymphatic drainage? I’d love to know if you noticed a difference.

Leave a comment

If you learned something or felt inspired, tap the heart at the bottom—it helps more than you know. 🤍

xx,
LL

More Chef’s Kiss community perks:

🤌 Mention my name at Basilica Studios to receive 20% off your first facial.

🤌 Mention Chef’s Kiss to receive 30% off a single service or 15% off a package at Pause Studio, where I go for infrared sauna, cold plunge, and cryotherapy.

🤌 Use the code “LAURENLEV5” for 66% off subscriptions to Melissa Wood Health.

🤌 Use the code "CHEFSKISS" for 10% off your order at Mrs. Push, a.k.a. my favorite online shop for keepsake jewelry.

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Even though we all start calling it “summer” once Memorial Day hits—breaking out the little white dresses and planning pool days—the official first day doesn’t arrive until the summer solstice. And that just so happens to be today.

Since it’s also the halfway point of the year (and around my half-birthday), it feels like the perfect time to check in.

Back in December, I shared three goals for 2026: wear more slim-fitting pants, stop caring so much what other people think of me, and try to feel as hot as possible in my 40s.

I’d give myself a solid B+.

One of my goals was to feel confident and comfortable in my own skin. A few months later, I interviewed Penny Goffman about her viral “45&HOT” philosophy, and the advice stuck with me. Being “hot” has very little to do with looking a certain way. It’s about setting boundaries, doing what makes you feel good, and wearing what you want.

That also leads us to my goal of bringing back skinny jeans. We’re still working on this one. I recently found a pair of soft, cream barrel jeans that I’m obsessed with. They’re baggy and somehow super flattering when paired with a fitted top. For now, the looser silhouettes are staying.

For my last goal of “Not Giving AF If People Like Me (for the Most Part),” well, that’s always a work in progress. I’ve talked many friends off the ledge this year (we call it “trickle-down therapy”) when they’ve felt sensitive about being left out or convinced someone was mad at them. My advice is usually the same: give people the benefit of the doubt (assume they’re trying their best), and remember that most things aren’t personal. That mindset works about 80% of the time. The other 20%, I’m right there with them. If you care, you care. This spring, I shared three specific techniques I use to get out of my own head when it comes to relationships.

Listen, I’m still working on taking my own advice. Progress, not perfection. Looking back, all three goals were really pointing toward the same thing: letting go a little and doing what feels right for me.

That’s exactly the energy I want to bring into summer.

This summer isn’t about accomplishing more. It’s about loosening my grip. Less overscheduling and pressure to optimize every hour of every day. More ease and spontaneity. Trust that the important things will get done when they’re supposed to.

Let’s get into some specific summer goals.

🤌 Air-Dry Hair Sundays

I would not describe my beauty routine as effortless.

I shower twice a day. My nails are always done. My body hair is practically non-existent thanks to years of laser appointments. I get Botox every few months. My skincare routine has enough steps to qualify as a hobby.

My hair is usually “done.” By that, I mean blown out sleek with a Dyson, curled with a Beachwaver, and glossy (thanks to this hair oil).

Lately, though, I’ve been embracing my natural texture. According to the internet, it’s somewhere in the 2A/2B family. Since the weather warmed up, I’ve been letting it air dry more often.

This probably sounds like a very small thing. For me, it’s symbolic. It’s a reminder that not everything needs to be polished. However it dries, it dries. Some days it’s beachy. Other times it’s frizzy. Either way, I’m trying to resist the urge to fix it. The best part: Every time I give it a break, my hair feels healthier and glossier when I do blow it out.

Quick Air-Dry Tutorial

I find less is more. If I use too much product, my hair feels greasy and weighed down. Also, the more you touch it, brush it, and fuss with it, the less likely your natural waves are to form.

The first step is using a wide-tooth comb in the shower to work through any knots. Find your part while your hair is still soaking wet. Then, as soon as you get out of the shower, apply a frizz-fighting product. I swear by this hair oil. It’s pricey, but it works for everything from air-drying to blow-dry prep. It smells like France and never leaves my hair feeling heavy.

Next, scrunch your hair with a special towel like this one to remove excess water and encourage the waves to form. The hardest part is waiting. Trust the process. If frizz starts to appear, add another drop of oil and a light mist of hairspray. As the day goes on, the texture settles, the waves relax, and everything tends to look better.

🤌 Going With the Flow

The hair thing is really a metaphor.

A few years ago, I was talking to my coach, Leah, about a J.Crew bag sitting in my closet. It was filled with returns I needed to make, and every time I saw it, I felt stressed. The return required driving to a store to avoid shipping fees, and I couldn’t seem to find the time. Leah’s advice was simple: let the bag sit there.

The return would happen eventually. It didn’t need to consume mental energy every day until then. Be okay with having something on your to-do list that’s not crossed off.

That advice has stayed with me.

The “J.Crew bag” can be anything. The moving boxes you still haven’t unpacked… three years later. Renewing TSA PreCheck (my current “J.Crew” bag situation). Booking a haircut. Organizing photos on your phone. The task that’s hanging over your head because you haven’t found the right moment to tackle it.

This summer, I want to remember that it’s just a J.Crew bag. When the time comes, I’ll handle it. (This is us Type A folks trying to be a little more Type B).

🤌 Slowing the F Down

Those “Maycember” memes were no joke. June has been just as packed. Let’s make July and August our slowest months yet.

I’m talking lazy pool days that spill into family barbeques. It’s the best feeling when we’re not overscheduled and can simply ask, “What do we feel like doing today?” Nine times out of ten, I’ll choose to hang by a body of water.

We need more white space for impromptu tennis dates, long walks where you can simply wander, afternoon naps, outdoor concerts, and the moments that happen when we’re not rushing from one thing to the next.

I’m not the first person to advocate for the screen-free boredom we experienced in the ‘90s. It’s about being present and allowing our minds to drift. (This is also when some of my most creative Substack ideas seem to appear.)

That’s the summer I’m trying to create.

I’d love to hear from you: What’s your version of the J.Crew bag?

Leave a comment

xx,
Lauren

P.S. Tap the ❤️ if you're also trying to create a slower, more intentional summer.

P.P.S. Happy Father’s Day to all of the dads celebrating today. After a bagel brunch with the grandparents and cousins, I sent my hard-working husband off for a much-deserved spa day at Pause Greenwich. If you’ve been wanting to try Pause’s infrared saunas, cryotherapy, LED bed, or float tank, Chef’s Kiss readers have an exclusive discount waiting for you. Find all the details here.

My husband said he’s never seen someone go from a 0 to a 10 overnight (re: my seemingly “sudden” interest in basketball). But it’s always been in there. Let’s go back in time: I was the dance team captain my junior and senior years of high school, when we followed our boys all the way to a state championship.

Then I attended Syracuse University during the Carmelo Anthony era and was lucky enough to be in the Dome when the Orange won the NCAA Championship (I was up there visiting campus with my mom to determine if I wanted to attend next year. Fun fact: during the game, my mom said, “If Syracuse wins tonight, you’ll go there. If they lose, it’s off to BU.” Well, we know how that turned out.)

After college, I admittedly ignored basketball for quite a while. Like decades. That is, until recently. It doesn’t hurt that I have a bit of a girl crush on Ali Marks Brunson (Jalen’s Jewish wife and high school sweetheart, who happens to live nearby in Scarsdale and be a fitness instructor… but you knew all of that already, right?).

After working in the city yesterday, soaking up that electric New York energy, and watching the Knicks pull off their epic comeback last night, I’m prouder than ever to be a New Yorker. And I can’t get enough of the courtside fashion. A moment for Taylor Swift’s “Stevie Knicks” tee (and blue mani) and Timothée Chalamet’s Chrome Hearts tracksuit.

Back to us. The Knicks are still playing, which means we need stylish ways to support our favorite team. I combed the internet for the chicest clothing, accessories, and beauty finds to help you show your team spirit. My advice? Grab them quickly—many are already selling out.

Danielle and Jodie Snyder, the sisters behind jewelry company Dannijo, are back with their newest brand: DannijoPro. And I am obsessed. They’ve taken iconic fashion girl pieces, such as a cropped denim jacket or white button-down shirt, and remade them into trend-forward fan gear. Get on the waitlist now for this dream cap, and then add these pieces to your cart ASAP because they’re almost gone.

Clockwise:

🤌 Predicting you’ll receive endless compliments on this letterman pullover. No notes.

🤌 For a simple look with unexpected details in the back (there are sporty patches!), try this collegiate crewneck.

🤌 This lightweight, raw-hem, crystal-embellished denim jacket is chic enough to wear with leather pants or relaxed enough for sweats. It’s also giving major Taylor Swift vibes, as I could totally see her in this.

Terez designer Zara Tisch is on fire with her athleisure Knicks collection. While most are unfortunately sold out, there are still sizes left in these three pieces.

Left to right:

🤌 We New Yorkers sure do love to wear black, such as this long-sleeve top with technicolor graphics to jazz it up.

🤌 Diehards need this limited-edition bomber jacket that has a gold “2026 Finals Eastern Conference Champions” patch on the sleeve.

🤌 This oversized tie-dye crewneck is so comfy, you may want to sleep in it (for good luck, of course).

A cozy night on the couch with wine, popcorn, and stylish sweats is pretty much my ideal plan for watching Game 5. That said, I'd happily wear any of these soft pants in public.

Left to right:

🤌 Another DannijoPro win. The fitted leg keeps things flattering, while the tie-dye detail gives these sweats a festive Knicks-inspired twist.

🤌 Surprise! Everyone's favorite Rag & Bone Miramar jeans now come with a spirited orange-and-blue side stripe. (Considering the brand was founded in NYC, I'm not saying it's a Knicks nod, but I'm not not saying it, either.)

🤌 Let your pants do the talking with these cheeky sweats. They’re unisex, so you can buy one for the hubs, too.

A swipe of orange lipstick, a blue manicure, or a game-day-ready accessory offers a subtle nod to our beloved team.

Clockwise:

🤌 Bobbi Brown knows how to create flattering makeup, and this tangerine balm leaves skin with that just-back-from-vacation glow.

🤌 A preppy Polo cap that can go from poolside to courtside.

🤌 Buy this Super Smalls necklace for your daughter…and yourself.

🤌 Rebecca Minkoff turned a basketball into a handbag, and somehow it works.

🤌 Another Super Smalls accessory you’ll want for a mommy-daughter matching moment.

🤌 This designer eyeshadow palette makes a compelling case for colorful game-day glam.

🤌 I’m a longtime BYOP (bring your own polish) kind of gal. This lacquer brand has “cleaner” ingredients and actually lasts (been a fan for years). Take this duo (orange and blue) to your favorite local nail artist to serve up a vibrant design.

These orange-and-blue sneakers add just the right amount of Knicks flair to everything from denim to dresses.

Top to bottom:

🤌 Lightweight and effortless kicks. Just do it.

🤌 Always been a fan of this sustainable, stylish brand. These sneakers will pair well with a little white dress.

🤌 The vintage-inspired silhouette and subtle orange accents make these an easy everyday sneaker.

Couldn't fit everything into one post. Shop the rest of my Knicks picks here.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Game 5 outfit to plan. How are we feeling about Saturday? 🏀🧡💙

xx,
LL

This week, we’re waking up to sunshine and high 70s, and it finally feels like summer in New York. (Fact-check technicality: summer doesn’t start until June 21, but let’s go with the vibe shift.)

So I’m calling it: it’s officially time to break out the white outfits.

Now, none of us probably follow the old rule about only wearing white between Memorial Day and Labor Day anymore. White dresses and cream denim styled with rich browns, suede, and even black leather have been fall staples for years. Still, there’s always a little voice in the back of my head that whispers the second Memorial Day passes: Now. Go. And out come the little white looks.

This season, I’m especially drawn to white dresses that don’t feel remotely bridal. Think crisp poplin skirts, sexy linen frocks, and strategically placed sheer panels. I’m also loving the wave of white denim featuring bohemian eyelet cutouts. And it’s hard to resist a romantic white blouse with a tiny ruffle here or a delicate bow there.

So I am sharing the white pieces I can’t stop thinking about this season. And if you have school-age children, as I do, don’t forget to grab a bottle of this spray, too. Trust me.

Dresses: The Shorties

As a 5-foot-1.5-inch woman (that half inch matters!), I love showing a little leg. Bonus points if it’s a Pilates-toned, slightly bronzed leg. This trio speaks directly to my heart.

Left to right:

🤌 I keep coming back to this linen dress as she’s perfect: a flattering square neckline (without dipping too low), a subtle A-line shape, and the prettiest scalloped lace hem.

🤌 Spoiler: I already bought this one. It has a similar feel to the first dress — delicate lace detailing at the hem and crisp white linen — but at a much friendlier price point. Plus, it has the magic two words: adjustable strap.

🤌 This sexy lace-cutout dress is for anyone who wants to show a little skin without showing too much skin. The cinched waist and flattering A-line shape make it incredibly easy to wear.

Dresses: Midis and Maxis

Sometimes I just want a long, slightly bohemian dress that feels equal parts lounge-y and sexy. These dresses all have such distinct personalities (can you guess which one is already hanging in my closet?).

Left to right:

🤌 OK, fine. It’s this one! You truly can’t beat the price point for how chic it is. There are so many details working for it: sweetheart neckline, unique zig-zag drop waist, and subtle ruffle at the bottom. I had to have her.

🤌 The shirred bodice on this cotton maxi looks far more expensive than it is (shh, it’s GAP!). And because the back is smocked, it won’t feel too restrictive after a questionable amount of burrata at dinner.

🤌 This breezy eyelet cotton dress says, “I’m hosting a barbecue, I threw this on, and somehow still look fabulous.” Again, love the smocking; it just makes everything fit better.

🤌 Here’s our date night stunner. It’s as if Belle from Beauty & the Beast went cottage-core (if we’re still using that term).

The “It” White Jeans of Summer

White jeans with lace and eyelet cutouts are anything but basic. You can pretty much style them with anything — more lace on top or a simple tee — and somehow the outfit always looks stylish.

Left to right:

🤌 If I had to narrow it down to one pair, these would be it. The lace paneling wrapping around the column leg is stunning. Just note: they’re high-waisted with a structured, rigid fit.

🤌 The eyelet details, scalloped hem, and subtle flare that show off your shoes make these jeans worth the splurge.

🤌 Very similar to the last pair, but in these jeans, the cutouts go up the leg, creating the flattering illusion of a slimmer silhouette. The best part is they have stretch.

🤌 Pamela (remember Pamela?) loves the Reformation Cary Jeans, and now they come with fresh white cutouts for summer. They’re edgy and 100% fashion girlie.

Flirty White Tops

Finally, let’s talk about tops. You could wear a t-shirt, but instead, elevate your summer style with a romantic, fun top.

Left to right:

🤌 I have a feeling this is one of those button-front blouses that looks good on everyone. It’s not too low-cut, not too boxy, and has exactly the right amount of whimsy.

🤌 This cotton top is beautifully crafted, from the scalloped hem to the strategically placed lace cutouts and delicate ruffle cinch. This may also be hanging in my closet (don’t tell Michael…).

🤌 And here’s the more affordable version with the perfect little bow. The top’s vibe is romantic, yet not too precious or fussy.

Extra credit: I found even more white looks here, including all-white matching sets, such as the most perfect (and perfectly priced!) crochet top and skirt.

So… are we still pretending white jeans aren’t terrifying? (I blame the stains on having kids, but we all know they didn’t cause the red wine one.)

Leave a comment

xx,
Lauren

P.S. If you found a new white outfit or enjoyed the looks here, tap the ❤️ at the bottom before you go. It truly helps support this newsletter.

Penny Goffman is hot. I’ll tell you. She’ll tell you. Or you can just go to her Instagram and see for yourself. The 46-year-old Canadian-born, Greenwich, CT, mom and entrepreneur emotes confidence and comfort in her own skin. As she likes to say, she is “46 and HOT.”

When I am feeling “blah,” her Instagram page is one of my favorite places to go for a feel-good, love life boost. According to Penny, her content is her life. There’s no performative aspect. She’s often posting in real time, and she’s one of those people who comes off exactly the same in real life as she does on the small screen in your palm.

It’s fun to follow along. One minute, she’s on Instagram in the morning (#nofilter), showing off her washboard abs and glowing skin post-workout. The next, she’s posting from a family vacation in St. Barth with her teenage daughter and son. You’ll find her rocking a blazer and heels, hosting a women’s power lunch for her events and marketing business, THATPENNY | CONNECT. And sometimes, she’s just silly with girlfriends getting a lymphatic drainage massage or enjoying a night out on Greenwich Ave.

No matter what she’s up to, Penny is unapologetically herself. It’s refreshing to watch someone own that so fully.

We met through HeyMama around 2020, when she was the Head of Community, and I was a member. (HeyMama was a digital membership-based mom group that was acquired and absorbed by Luminary in early 2025.) While she loved the job, its ending allowed her to embrace a major life transformation.

“In 2024, I went through an evolution, personally and professionally,” Penny explains. “I was feeling gaps and voids in various areas of my life, and one of them was in-person connection with women in my own backyard. I was invited to Swim Week in Miami, but I was not included in the wonderful events in Fairfield County. I stopped nurturing relationships in my local community. I knew that had to change, and I flipped it all around.”

As the story goes, she left HeyMama, launched THATPENNY | CONNECT, threw an epic 45th birthday (themed “45&HOT”), and fully stepped into her next chapter. Here, we get into friendship reciprocity, having a spicy marriage, navigating ambition and motherhood, and what it actually means to feel “hot” in your 40s.

Being 45 Years Old and Hot

Let’s start with “45&HOT” — what is it and how did it come to be?

Penny Goffman: I turned 45 in 2024, during that year of evolution. Turning 45 became an obsession directly after I turned 44. It felt significant, but not in a cry-myself-to-sleep, I’m-getting-old way. It was the opposite. More of, I feel amazing, sexy, hot, vibrant, and full of life. Like this was something to celebrate.

Of course, what else would I do but plan an event, a birthday party to mark the occasion? A friend had suggested I go with the typical “45 and Fabulous,” but that felt cheesy and not “on brand.” How I actually felt was “45&HOT” in the MILF kind of way.

In true form, I branded the whole event, promoted the concept, and photographed everything. Women took notice, and my DMs lit up. They wanted to know more about being HOT and my openness to calling myself that without worrying about others’ opinions.

What does “46 and hot” look like now?

PG: Not much different. If anything, the mere introduction of this concept has fueled me to elevate the vibe and “MOM&HOT” energy. My kids find it confusing, if I’m honest. A mother calling herself and promoting women to feel HOT (i.e., feel their best) is not typical, and sometimes they wish I were typical.

“46&HOT” (and incoming 47) has actually provided me with greater motivation to feel my best and elevate in every aspect of my life. There’s no going backward from here!

You always say you “date your husband.” What’s the secret to keeping that energy alive?

PG: The biggest secret is what I preach for all relationships: connection. When I feel disconnected from my hubby, it doesn’t feel right. That usually happens when our schedules are particularly hectic. Sometimes we’re ships passing in the night, but I’ll always come back to putting in the work.

For us, that’s date night. Any Saturday night that we don’t have a commitment, we go for dinner. The not-so-sexy part is that sometimes we’re so busy, I keep a running text of all the fun things I can’t wait to update him on.

The sexy part is that date night begins before we even leave the house. It’s the fun music in our room. The candle burning while we get ready. The styled looks we both pick out to feel attractive. The kisses we steal while showering. The foreplay and connection begin well before the restaurant. That time together is for us to feel deeply rooted in each other physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Living Life & Setting Boundaries

You juggle a lot — career, kids, a thriving social life, date nights — Has that always come naturally to you?

PG: It goes back to the question I get often: how do you do it all? I’m not going to start with the whole “there’s no such thing as balance in motherhood and career.” We’ve heard that many times, and while there’s truth to it, we all get it by now.

I’m pretty type A, so executive functioning is a strength, and honestly, if it wasn’t, then I probably wouldn’t be able to be at a gala one moment and my child’s doctor appointment the next. My life would be a mess.

To have lunch packed for the kiddos while still making time to apply my makeup, fold laundry, and create a proposal, I need efficient systems in place. It’s never perfect, but it’s fulfilling AF (I can say that here!).

You’re always out, but also very intentional. How do you protect your time?

PG: Weekly, a new connection, friend of a friend, or someone wanting to “collab” asks me for lunch or coffee, and 95 percent of the time, I kindly decline. The request is such a beautiful thing, and I greatly appreciate the thought, kindness, and intention.

Between workouts, emails, client meetings, visits to event spaces, and after-school rush, my day is packed. So the coffee or lunch meeting brings me a twinge of anxiety. The day feels like it’s gotten away from me, and I personally have trouble getting laser focused after a two-hour lunch. Of course, there are exceptions, and sometimes I just want to unwind with my girls over a cappuccino or martini.

How do I decline? I genuinely adore most people (it’s true), and it’s never personal. I often suggest we give each other a call instead. I love catching up or connecting with a fabulous woman while I’m walking the dog. Two for one!

As a connector and community builder, you have a front row seat to the Greenwich and suburban social scene. How would you describe it?

PG: Love this question because I’m truly obsessed! I will shout from the rooftops that Greenwich and the surrounding Fairfield County area are filled with powerful, highly educated, uber-successful women. Many moms are building families alongside impactful careers and philanthropic endeavors. I’m constantly surrounded by the most impressive community of creative and empowered women.

What kinds of conversations or energy do you avoid, and how do you handle them in the moment?

PG: Over the last three years, I’ve become more devoted to meditation and kabbalistic teachings. One kabbalistic lesson that has profoundly impacted me is the idea of gossiping about another individual.

Negative gossip is a temporary high and creates an illusion of connection within the group. I’m not perfect when it comes to this, but I want to live in a space of peace, clear of bringing others (and, by default, myself) down.

Important to note, I may have a challenge with a friend and confide in someone for advice. That’s completely different in my books. The intention is not to bash someone, but to work through it and move forward.

What do you do when you’re stuck in a bash session?

PG: My advice: when you’re in a group, and there’s a lot of bad mouthing, stay silent. People notice. They observe who is doing the talking and who is disengaged. They’ll stop and get quiet pretty quickly, because your silence makes them realize they shouldn’t have started in the first place. Sometimes less is more.

You also told me it takes a lot for you to drop someone. What actually crosses that line, and how do you handle it?

PG: Truth. My biggest challenge in friendships has been reciprocation. Conflict has never stemmed from a scandal, “mean girl” drama, or a blowout argument. It’s been when I feel I am pouring into a friend’s cup for years and don’t feel that same love or support in return.

I’m persistent AF (there I go again). If a friend is rarely making plans with me, I’ll text them even more to check in. My belief has always been to show love and receive love, but it doesn’t always happen that way.

Several months ago, I had an honest conversation with a friend and expressed that for the last two years, I’d been the only one initiating plans. She agreed and then replied with, “Well, that’s who you are. You’re the planner in the friendship.” Not. Good. Enough. Nope. There may have been a time in my life when I accepted that, but not anymore.

Once I hit the wall, it’s done. I stop initiating. If you’ve always been the initiator and you stop completely, the friendship naturally fizzles without any drama. But don’t be lurking on my Instagram (that’s a topic for a whole other interview!).

You’ve said your content is your life. What does that mean in practice (and on social media)?

PG: I’m not an influencer, even though I may have influence. I don’t profit directly from social media. For most of us building brands, social media is a marketing tool, but the way we use it can be vastly different. I’m never going to stage a scene at a restaurant with perfectly curated food, but I am going to share a mom’s night out with friends, a martini, authentic conversations, events I host, and incredible women with inspiring stories. I’ll always cheerlead for brands I genuinely support and share their impact.

The Great Connector of Greenwich

You’ve had a few distinct chapters — owning a mobile fashion boutique, working at HeyMama, and now running THATPENNY | CONNECT. What did each phase teach you?

PG: There has always been one main thread: connecting women and building community. For over a decade, I’ve worked in the women’s space, but the vessel has looked different. Each phase brought me closer to this mission. What started as styling women and hosting shopping parties evolved into leading and connecting women. Each chapter has been a stepping stone to exactly where I am today.

Tell us more about THATPENNY | CONNECT, and what makes one of your events successful?

PG: My north star is to “connect women, leaders, and brands.” I do that by creating meaningful in-person experiences that bring powerful women, bold leaders, and standout brands into the same room. I produce, curate, and host events that build community, trust, and visibility. It has been over a year, and I’m incredibly proud of what I’ve built and where it’s heading.

Key to success? Energy.

How has motherhood shaped the way you work, especially when it comes to flexibility and ambition?

PG: Sometimes I wish I weren’t professionally ambitious. Over the last decade, there have been moments when I’ve wondered if being a full-time stay-at-home mom would be less complicated. My life would be simpler if I weren’t so darn ambitious. My role would be more clear cut with less juggling and more downtime.

But I always come back to this: it’s not who I am. I’d be incredibly bored, uninspired, and eventually resentful, and that’s not good for my family either. I don’t know if my kids appreciate what I’ve built over the last decade, but I do believe that one day — likely in their 20s — it will click, and they’ll be proud of their mom.

How to Optimize Yourself

You talk about “optimizing yourself” — what does that look like day-to-day?

PG: It’s all about consistency. I’m of the mindset that we are adults, we choose what we prioritize, and the rest is an excuse (mostly). My morning routine — hydration and supplements, meditation, juicing, coffee, workout — is basically the same whether I’m at home, have an event, or traveling in Europe with my family. The same generally goes for my evening routine. All of it is in an effort to elevate myself with a clear mind, strong focus, and a full cup of energy.

There are exceptions because being overly rigid is suffocating, too. As I’ve mentioned, I love a martini, and on those evenings, I’m not optimized, but it doesn’t derail me. I can jump off the optimize train for a moment and get right back on. The beauty is that it’s my choice.

Where does your energy come from?

PG: Energy is both physical and spiritual. There’s the kind you need through calories and protein to have a great workout, carry kids, and stay awake mid-afternoon. Then there’s a more intangible energy — the vibrancy you bring to a room, how people feel when you walk in, the aura you give off at an event. It’s something people can’t quite put their finger on, but they certainly feel it.

Optimizing myself gives me the physical energy for my schedule, but it’s the spiritual energy that feels most unique to me.

How would you describe your personal style, and what do you intentionally ignore trend-wise?

PG: I fully ignore trends. I’m a 100 percent believer that you should dress for yourself — what looks good on you and makes you feel confident. When everyone was wearing crazy baggy jeans, it was a no-go for me, and I was happily still styling my favorite pair of skinnies with boots. My body would drown in the oversized look, so why would I wear something that makes me feel self-conscious just because it’s trending?

My personal style is sexy with sophistication. Blazers and stilettos are my best friends, but there might be some cleavage from my blouse underneath. Style is absolutely a form of self-expression for me.

What’s something people assume about you that’s completely wrong?

PG: People assume I’m a party girl, but actually, I’m usually one of the first to leave a party. I never drink at home; it’s been several years since I have. I do enjoy a dirty martini, savored at a restaurant, but I’ll always prioritize a good night’s sleep. I love to have fun, but once I hit my wall, I’m out.

A Day in the Life of Penny

Walk us through a typical day of eating, drinking, and moving. Be specific!

I’ve never done one of these because we’re all so different, but a typical weekday looks something like this:

6–6:20 a.m.: Alarm

6:20–7 a.m.: Wash up, straight into workout clothes, meditate, supplements, and plenty of water (never cold). I take a synbiotic, collagen, and inulin fiber.

7 a.m.: Start waking the kiddos — yes, even my 17-year-old. I love seeing their sleepy faces peacefully in bed, and I know it’s fleeting. I love opening their blinds and ensuring their first moments awake are peaceful.

7–8:15 a.m.: Green juice while making breakfast, packing lunches, and usually throwing in a load of laundry. Small coffee for sips while bringing the kids to school.

8:15 a.m.: House is quiet and peaceful, and I sit for a proper coffee while checking emails.

9–10 a.m.: Workout and creatine post-workout. Favorite workouts: boxing, zumba, strength training, Melissa Wood Health.

[If you’d like to try Melissa Wood Health for $5 a month, use the code “LAUREN66.”]

10:30 a.m.: Brunch. Sometimes I have fruit before my workout as it’s easy to digest on an empty stomach, but I always have a mid-morning brunch. This is a bigger meal for me that is always protein focused.

I do not label brunch as typical breakfast food. Protein is protein, and I could easily include salmon, grilled chicken, or tuna in my large brunch bowl. I eat plenty of protein and fiber to keep me full for hours. When women go for dinner and say, “I haven’t eaten all day,” yep, that’s not me.

10:30 a.m.–3 p.m.: This is the time devoted to work hours, and every day is different. It might be a full day of strictly focusing on laptop work, it might be a shower and straight into an event, or brand meetings (video and in-person).

3 p.m.: The after-school rush begins, and I often grab an apple for the road. I don’t eat chips or processed snacks. An apple has good fiber, and it’s easy enough to take with me.

5–6 p.m.: Rather than snack all afternoon, I prefer to have an earlier dinner, which takes planning. It means that by 5 p.m., I need to have dinner generally prepared or mapped out. I try to be mindful and ensure I’m getting proper nutrition. I’m not scared of carbs; I eat the good kind like sweet potatoes.

6–9 p.m.: You know the drill — kids, kids, kids — and lots of cleaning up and organizing for the next day. This could also be the time I’m heading out to an event, dinner, or gala (hosting or attending).

9:30 p.m.: Tea with more inulin fiber and legs up the wall to help circulation. Add on a red light mask. It’s the perfect combination of habit stacking. This is also when I do a social media check for comments, DMs, and requests.

10 p.m.: La-la land, good night! Sleep is life.

If you enjoyed hearing Penny’s story and perspective, tap the ❤️ at the bottom — it helps more people discover my content.

Even better, reply to this email or leave a comment: Do you feel more confident in your 40s than you did in your 20s? I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts.

Leave a comment

xx,
LL

Guy Friend was hot. Over six feet. Lush, dark hair. Sexy, thick eyebrows. Great smile. Excellent dancer. We loved to go out dancing and even crashed a wedding after-party once (around the time Wedding Crashers came out). We were pretty good friends. And we seemed to have some chemistry. It was innocent. A few drinks, and we’d make out… in public. I had a crush.

One night, he brought a friend, and I did, too. Our friends hit it off. We invited them back to my house after a night of fun. It felt like this might actually become something. Maybe in my multi-room basement, we’d make out some more… and possibly confess our feelings for each other?

We sent the boys downstairs to get comfortable, and we ventured upstairs. I don’t remember exactly what we were doing. Spritzing on perfume? Touching up our makeup? Grabbing snacks?

By the time we went down to the basement, the back door was open.

They had left.

No text. No explanation. He stopped calling. Our friendship fizzled.

It haunted me.

What did I get wrong? What signals did I miss? I created a script in my head, filling in the blanks as to why our relationship could only exist casually, in public. At the very least, I wanted to know why I scared him off. Years later, I got answers via Facebook.

He’s currently happily married… to a very hot man. They have a baby together.

So why am I talking about my college-era crush?

Even though I am far removed from that stage (and just celebrated my ninth wedding anniversary!), the lesson has followed me into every phase of my life. A cranky coworker. A mom friend who leaves you out of a group dinner. A college friend who slowly stops putting in effort. The list is endless, depending on what triggers you.

It’s easy to spiral and even easier to get caught up in it.

The takeaway: don’t craft stories in your head. Especially if you have a very active imagination and Main Character Energy (I do x2). Often, the answer—even if you never get one—has absolutely nothing to do with you. Try not to take things personally.

We all know this logic. Of course! But knowing it and actually doing it are two different things.

I have to actively hush that voice in my head. Gentle, constant reminders to myself: it’s not about me. As Mel Robbins says, “Let them.”

Clearly, I am not a therapist, coach, or certified to give professional advice. But I do have three techniques that help me:

🤌 Assume Good Intentions

I picked this up from Brené Brown (big fan of Dare to Lead). She says, “My life is better when I assume that people are doing their best.” Instead of jumping straight to the worst-case scenario, I try to pause and consider a more generous explanation.

What if everyone were doing their best? What if no one was intentionally trying to hurt you? How would you rewrite the story looping in your head?

🤌 It’s Not Your Problem

This is something I worked on with Leah Wiseman Fink when she was coaching me a few years ago. The core idea: what other people think of you is none of your business. Yes, really! When I perceive someone doesn’t like me, I say to myself, “It’s not my problem.”

People are usually thinking about themselves—not you. If someone doesn’t like you (or you think they don’t), don’t give it your energy. Catch the thought and throw it away. Then, see number one above.

🤌 Tune Down the Noise, Tune Up Your Inner Voice

When I start to spiral, I take a beat and mentally turn down the noise, whether it’s gossip, overanalyzing, or paying too much attention to what everyone else is doing. (Sometimes this also means deleting Instagram for a few days.)

Then I check in with myself. Do I feel fulfilled? Do I have things on my calendar that I’m looking forward to? Am I generally happy with the direction of my life?

Usually, the answer is yes, yes, and yes. And if it’s not, it helps me get clear on where I actually want to put my energy and work on.

Instead of orbiting around other people, I travel back to Planet Lauren and allow everything else to orbit around me.

And if someone doesn’t want to date you (Guy Friend), invite you to their 40th birthday, offer you a job, or just save a seat for you at the table—even though it feels like it—it probably has nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally.

Go back to your planet.

If this resonated, tap the ❤️ at the bottom. It helps more people discover my work and means a lot to me.

Or, even better, leave a comment. I’d love to know: what helps you not take things personally?

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Forward this to a friend who needs to hear it. Adulthood is hard. We have big feelings, too.

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xx,
LL

Mother’s Day, to me, is about taking a moment to breathe and remember why we do this. The mental load. The always-on group texts (and thank god for the mom squad, or I’d miss every dance dress rehearsal). The 3 a.m. wake-ups. Sleeping with one eye open. Totally exhausted. Completely fulfilled.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So in true Chef’s Kiss fashion, we are celebrating Mother’s Day in style this year (with some beauty mixed in, of course). Treat yourself, your best friend, or your own mother to a piece of keepsake jewelry, an elevated pair of pajamas, or a spa day. Plus, more gifts I truly love.

Buy It

🤌 The French Girl Fragrance

I’ve been wearing Chanel N°5 L’Eau de toilette since it launched in 2016 (a.k.a., everyone’s favorite year). Back then, I was a beauty editor invited to visit Grasse with the Chanel Beauty team to see how the fragrance is made, from flower harvest to final blend. I fell in love with this lighter, fresher take on the iconic Chanel N°5. Airy citrus notes of lemon, mandarin, and orange blend with soft florals like rose, jasmine, and ylang-ylang, then dry down clean and musky. It’s sexy, light, and makes the perfect Mother’s Day gift.

🤌 The Charm Necklace

Since spotting these 1970s-inspired, deco-inspired gold initial beads, I can’t stop thinking about them. I’m already planning a stack with my family’s initials. They are the perfect balance of slightly chunky, but still delicate enough to layer.

🤌 The Outfit-Making Earrings

Let’s take two Mother’s Day clichés — pearls and orchids — and give them a modern twist. These statement earrings do exactly that. I’m envisioning them styled with a white linen dress or an easy summer set. Plus, they’re more lightweight than they look.

🤌 The Perfectly Priced Summer Bag

We millennials sure do love a crossbody bag. A few of my friends already own this bag, and I get it. The milk chocolate brown is softer than black (better with creams, whites, and pastels), and the woven texture feels very on trend. Gold-toned tassel caps and a polished buckle make it look far more expensive than it is. No notes.

🤌 The “It” Candle of Summer

This candle is already on its way to me, so I can bring the essence of my favorite hobby into my home. Lindsay Silberman has done it again, creating Racquet Club, a fresh-scented candle. Think: iced cucumber towel meets morning dew and white musk. It’s a little citrusy, a bit botanical, and slightly woodsy.

🤌 The Tennis Bag You’ll Bring Everywhere

It took me years to find a tennis bag I actually loved. I own this bag in black and also love the white-and-green version — it’s so quintessentially “tennis.” It converts from tote to backpack, has plenty of pockets, and is surprisingly roomy (I’ve used mine as a carry-on with a laptop). Lightweight, functional, and polished.

🤌 The Skin-Plumping Balm

After Julie Leffell raved about this skin balm in our viral interview, I’ve been fully influenced. As the story goes, a French pharmacist packed it with 68 active ingredients meant to smooth, plump, and nourish skin. Julie confirmed it’s evening out her skin tone, and I need to try it, like, yesterday.

🤌 The Beyond-the-Bed Pajamas

Of course, I love GAP pajamas (I love GAP everything). Zac Posen is on fire as the brand’s fashion director, and this embroidered pajama look is so chic, I’d probably wear it out of the house. It looks like Dôen but at a fraction of the price. I’d go for the full set: top, shorts, and pants.

Experience It

🤌 A Skin-Sculpting Facial

A cool, dark room. A plush, warm bed. Magic hands sculpting my face, draining puffiness while releasing tension. This is exactly how I’d treat myself for Mother’s Day. The result: expensive-looking skin.

Trust me and book a buccal facial at Basilica Studios (which just moved to a fancy new location in Scarsdale, New York) or an LED gua sha facial at Ora Space (in downtown NYC). You won’t regret it.

Chef’s Kiss Exclusive Perk: Mention my name when booking to receive 20% off your first facial at Basilica Studios.

🤌 An Hour to Yourself at the Sauna

After testing the most popular treatments at Pause Greenwich, I can confirm my favorite is the infrared sauna and cold plunge contrast therapy. Switching between warm and glowy to icy and refreshed gave me that relaxed, post-beach vacation high. Plus, the rooms are big enough for two, so you can go with your mom, sister, or a friend.

Chef’s Kiss Exclusive Perk: Mention Chef’s Kiss to receive 30% off a single service or 15% off a package at Pause Greenwich.

🤌 A Coaching Session

For my 40th birthday, I bought myself a coaching session with Leah Wiseman Fink. After working together for a few years, we took a break (according to Leah, I was doing great and coaching myself). She was the person I wanted to spend an hour with on my milestone birthday. Perhaps unconventional, but to me, a coaching session is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. There’s nothing like feeling seen and supported while getting clarity on your goals.

🤌 An At-Home Workout Subscription

I did not want to like, let alone love, Melissa Wood Health. I already stream P.volve (a deep dive for another day), and it just felt like another thing to do (and pay for). Many women I know swear by Melissa’s toning workouts for sculpting their abs and getting them moving daily. Then I tried it. Now I’m fully converted.

The workouts are around 20 minutes long, and they’re incredibly effective. Whether it’s bodyweight or incorporating ankle weights, bands, or hand weights, I feel the burn the next day (in a good way). I’ve noticed I feel tighter and stronger after doing it consistently for a few months.

I also appreciate how seamless the experience is. You log in, and there are seven new workouts each week. In other apps, I find myself scrolling endlessly just to pick one. Fewer options work better for me. That said, you still have access to the full archive. Melissa also offers excellent meditations, and that’s coming from someone who struggles with slowing down.

Chef’s Kiss Exclusive Perk: Use the code “LAUREN66” to get your first month of MWH for just $5 (normally $15). Register here.

🤌 An Aesthetic Treatment

One of my career highlights was working for Allergan Aesthetics to create content around Botox and fillers. I loved learning all about these skin-smoothing and plumping aesthetic treatments. A plastic surgeon once told me, “Botox makes you happy.” I agree. (I just got mine done by the wonderful Dr. Amy Wechsler in NYC.)

If you’re curious about injectables, many of my friends go to JECT, a high-end med spa with locations in Westchester and NYC. While I haven’t done Botox there (I’m loyal to Dr. W), I have had many facials there (love Lizz!) as well as Aquagold.

Chef’s Kiss Exclusive Perk: Drop my name at JECT for 20% off your first treatment.

So, what are we buying for Mother’s Day this year?

Leave a comment

xx,

Lauren

P.S. If you found this post helpful or inspiring, tap the ❤️ at the bottom before you go. It helps more than you know.

I never created a push present. This is a gift moms receive after a baby is born, often a piece of jewelry tied to initials, a birthstone, or something deeply personal.

Which is off-brand for someone who loves a celebration and personalized presents.

I can pull the trigger on costume jewelry without hesitation (like this necklace Michael bought me from the Valentine’s Day guide). When it comes to investment pieces, I often get cold feet. The decisions feel more monumental (will this be too trendy in five years?), and the price point is obviously steeper. Somewhere between birthing two girls, two years apart, I just… never made one.

(And in full transparency: I designed my own engagement ring and still never made a wedding band. I just wear a simple gold one. So maybe this is on-brand.)

When Melissa Mor slid into my Instagram DMs, it felt like a sign. And I finally made a belated push present just in time for Mother’s Day. Melissa is the founder of Mrs. Push, a jewelry e-commerce site focused on push presents and unique gifts for mothers. Melissa curates the brands and jewelry featured, and there’s also the option to create a custom piece.

We worked together on creating a delicate two-heart birthstone necklace featuring peridot (for August, my husband’s birthday month) and blue topaz (for the December birthday trio: me, Gigi, and Madeleine). Melissa calmed my worries (the green really isn’t too green; it’s a neutral) and was on top of the details (she suggested we place the peridot on the left side since my husband came into my life before my daughters). And she ensured it was the ideal length to layer with my other necklaces over a Zoom call.

That level of nuance is my love language. I knew I was in very good hands.

After we designed it, I started dreaming about all the ways I’d wear it. Since it has arrived, it’s even more delicate and special than I envisioned. And yes, the green stone somehow works with everything.

There’s a reason Melissa has these instincts when it comes to style.

Before launching Mrs. Push, she worked as a luxury fashion buyer. The Queens, NY, native attended the Fashion Institute of Technology with one goal: become a buyer. After graduating, she famously turned down a role in fashion merchandising at NET-A-PORTER to spend a summer in Israel.

Back on U.S. soil, she launched her career in the ‘burbs, working as a buyer for two high-end boutiques. One is Angela’s in Rye, New York; the other is the now-closed Dighton Rhode in Greenwich, CT (which she describes as “Barney’s on steroids”). She even oversaw social media for everyone’s favorite local boutique, Lester’s.

During the height of early-aughts fashion, she spent a decade immersed in that world. It was when New York Fashion Week still took over Bryant Park, and influencers weren’t part of the equation. The people attending fashion shows were mainly buyers and insiders. It was cool and exclusive. Melissa found herself everywhere from Paris Fashion Week to meeting Mary-Kate and Ashley at The Row showroom. (I was the Fashion News Editor at ELLE.com around this time and know how incredible it was to be part of that era.)

These days, her life looks different. She lives in Atlanta with her three kids (4, 8, and 11), in the tight-knit Sandy Springs community. And like many of us in the Chef’s Kiss community, motherhood changed her career.

After relocating to Atlanta during the pandemic, two things happened: the world shifted even further to e-commerce, and people liked how she styled her kids. She recalls a mom tapping her on the shoulder at the pool to ask where she found her daughter’s one-shoulder swimsuit. Melissa felt an itch to start a mommy-and-me business.

Eventually, that itch was scratched when she launched Mrs. Push in 2022. But I’ll let her tell you that story in her own words… Plus, she shares exactly what to buy this spring according to a buyer. I, for one, am taking notes!

[A quick note: “push present” may not reflect every path to motherhood, but the sentiment does. All mamas deserve something meaningful to mark it.]

That Early Aughts Fashion Career

You started at the Fashion Institute of Technology, interned at Intermix, and built your career across buying and social. What were you chasing in those early years—and how did it shape what you do now?

Melissa Mor: I was just chasing fashion. I loved the highs of Fashion Week, seeing celebrities, and being in that runway world. It was everything I ever wanted. And in a way, those exact dreams I had as a kid came true.

But what was always at the core was the curation—finding the best of the best in everything I do and sharing it. So when I became passionate about push presents, it felt like a natural evolution.

You famously turned down NET-A-PORTER early on to spend a summer in Israel. Did that decision shape how you think about risk now?

MM: I followed my gut. It was something I questioned at first, wondering if I had made the right decision, but what actually unfolded was better than I could have imagined.

Right out of college, I was working for a small business that truly valued what I brought to the table. Once I earned her trust, my boss sent me all on my own to Paris Fashion Week and market appointments. I was 22 years old, sitting in Balenciaga’s Paris showroom, curating a collection for our clientele. That kind of opportunity would have taken years in a corporate setting. I would have been behind spreadsheets at the start of my career.

I’ve carried that instinct with me ever since. I had been thinking about starting a business for a while, but once I had that “aha” moment, I knew in my gut this was it.

What was that buyer era really like? Equal parts glamorous and chaotic? And we need the Olsen twins story…

MM: It was so fun. It was a mix of glamorous and total chaos. One day sitting front row at a runway show, the next opening boxes, steaming, and taking rolling racks of designer goodies to clients’ homes.

Fashion Week will never get old. I’ll always love seeing celebs—I manifest it everywhere. Last time I was in LA, I had a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills on my flight!

So yes, meeting the Olsen twins… I was on a buying appointment at their The Row showroom in Chelsea. Ashley was super hands-on, sitting on the floor opening boxes and talking with the team. She was more reserved.

Mary-Kate, on the other hand, was so friendly. I will literally never forget her coming up to me and introducing herself, saying, “Hi, I’m Mary-Kate, how’s The Row selling for you?” And I’m like, of course I know who you are. But she was super sweet and chatty. One of my career highlights for sure.

You also spent time running social at Lester’s. How did that prepare you for building your own brand?

MM: I was always into watching how brands grow on social. I learned a lot at Lester’s, being their social and e-commerce manager. It literally was the perfect learning curve for me before I started my business.

I worked directly with the owners, and they were so meticulous about every piece of content put out. I’ve taken that with me now—being an owner, I’m pretty meticulous, maybe even crazy, about the grid.

Reimagining the Modern Mom Gift

How did becoming a mom and moving to Atlanta shift your career path, ultimately leading to Mrs. Push?

MM: Once I had my first (almost 11 years ago), I shifted from buying to e-commerce and social for the same brand. It allowed me to work from home more, no travel required, etc. I always knew I wanted to start an online business, but I wasn’t sure what it would be. Even after my first two kids, I never said, “Oh, let me start a push present business.” It happened super organically and exactly at the right moment.

We had just moved to Atlanta, and I was pregnant with baby number three when I had that “aha” moment.

For anyone new to it, what is Mrs. Push? And how did the name come to be?

MM: Mrs. Push is an online destination for push presents and family jewelry. The name is actually a funny story. When my oldest was about 8 months old, I stayed at a hotel with my husband and mother-in-law. We weren’t happy with our rooms, so I called the front desk to see if they had anything else available. When I was hanging up, they said, “Bye, Mrs. Push.”

I never got push presents with any of my babies because my husband and I couldn’t find the right one. So I’m postpartum here, and when they called me Mrs. Push, we all laughed because it was like they knew I was spiraling about what to get for a push present. Since then, my husband and mother-in-law would call me Mrs. Push anytime I need to negotiate.

When it was time to come up with a business name, it was obvious there was only ever one name.

And my career in buying taught me everything about curating. It’s what I love to do, to find the best of the best and share it with people. I love to scour my favorite sites and learn about new brands and designers, and that’s exactly what I do now with jewelry.

You’ve built a business around celebrating motherhood through jewelry. What is a modern push present today? And do you need to be a new mom to receive one?

MM: There are so many options or ideas for modern push presents. For me, it’s something you’ll wear every day and always look back and remember those special motherhood moments. That could be an eternity band, kids’ initials, birthstones, etc.

You absolutely don’t need to be a new mom to receive one. We just made two birthstone bands for a mom of college kids! She wanted to feel closer to her kids while they’re away at school. She did a 50/50 band. Half diamond and half blue topaz representing her son and daughter. One ring is for herself, and one she gifted to her daughter.

What jewelry trends for moms are you loving? And which ones do you secretly wish would go away?

MM: I love that birthstones are so popular right now. They can scream mom jewelry, but can also be super subtle.

And what I wish would go away… I’ve never publicly said this before. I’m not a fan of “mama” necklaces. We sell them because people love them, but personally, I don’t love anything that says “mom” or “mama.” You won’t catch me in one unless it’s for content.

You’ve mentioned you love working with dads on these gifts. What do they get right?

MM: I love dads (lol). They are so easy to work with. They often know exactly what they want or want a few options. They really care about quality and product warranty.

Your Instagram looks effortless (love the butter yellow theme). What’s something about running a business that people don’t see? What has been harder than expected?

MM: Running any business is crazy. First of all, it took me years to get the Instagram feed to such a great place (but I don’t do it alone, shoutout to my social team).

I’ve had my fair share of lost shipments. One package got lost three days before Christmas. I was a nervous wreck. Thankfully, my designer recreated the bracelet on short notice and overnight.

What to Buy According to a Buyer

What jewelry are you wearing on repeat right now?

MM: I feel like I need to perfect my neck stack. I mix our pieces with designer jewelry.

Bracelets: this pavé bracelet with my kids’ initials on my left hand, not their full names, and I have two love bangles and a Van Cleef Alhambra on the other.

Rings: birthstone bands for my two girls (that will be theirs one day), a rainbow sapphire for my 4-year-old, and a garnet for my 8-year-old. And a thin diamond pavé ring as my wedding band.

Necklaces: a custom Mrs. Push medallion with my three kids’ names and birthstones. Our whole family, including my husband, signed our names on the back. (It was a Hanukah gift I designed two years ago.)

What are the jewelry essentials we should all have on hand?

MM: I love the stacking trays you can get on Amazon—they are great for earrings and rings, and I like necklace stands like these.

For cleaning jewelry, I have this, and I try to do it once a week. The kids love to help out with this machine, too.

This multi-necklace clasp allows you to get the perfect layered look.

[Editor’s note: Melissa recommended this for me during our Zoom when she saw all of my twisted, layered chains. You know it’s already in my cart.]

What should we all be asking for this Mother’s Day?

MM: That depends—did you get a push present?

We love our Mini Mini Letter bracelet and necklace. They are super easy, dainty, and a great price point.

Also, if you’re a girl mom, invest in a mommy-and-me set. Even if kids are older, we can do them in a longer length.

And finally, a Child Silhouette necklace. The only way to freeze time! For this necklace, you send us a side profile photo, and we make it into a forever keepsake, solid gold necklace.

What pieces are worth investing in for spring/summer?

MM: Seems like this summer is the summer of the (head) scarf. But beyond the trend, they also make great tops and even artwork hung in the home.

I love anything bright blue and turquoise, and this one just looks and feels happy.

Also appreciate a good summer bag or beach bag. This one is such a cool and special shape, and not one you’ll see everywhere.

Love this budget-friendly one from Cos. It’s clean, no logo, and looks very high end. Giving The Row vibes. I have this from last season, slightly different shape, and use it all the time.

Oh, I also love everything Pucci and Missoni. I just love the bright colors and prints. So fun and they’ll last forever. This one is so cute with the chain neck detail.

I love easy summer dresses that you can just throw on and go, like this J.Crew style, which I’d wear in both colors.

[Editor’s note: I bought this in navy for my recent Palm Beach trip and wore it as a cover-up; it’s so cute and lightweight.]

What are the under-the-radar pieces you love?

MM: I love a kitten heel thong sandal like this pair—it elevates a casual look without being super dressy.

For summer, I love anything turquoise. Sequin is a costume jewelry brand, and I have their double-layer turquoise necklace. It just elevates any outfit.

[Editor’s note: envisioning a chic summer outfit here: the J.Crew dress, Cos bag with the Hermès scarf tied on the handle, the Reformation kitten heels, and this turquoise necklace. Done.]

What is next for Mrs. Push?

MM: More signature pieces, more custom, and really growing the concierge side of Mrs. Push. That’s actually how 2026 has organically started for me. There were more and more people reaching out for custom projects, and I’m here for it. Custom doesn’t have to feel intimidating or scary, and it doesn’t have to cost more. It just means it has your own personal spin.

Tell me: did you create a push present, or are you still overdue?
Comment “done” or “overdue”… and if you’re overdue, what are you getting? 👀

Leave a comment

Chef’s Kiss readers get a little something extra at Mrs. Push this Mother’s Day. Use code “CHEFSKISS” for 10% off. And mentioning Chef’s Kiss for additional insider perks:

• A complimentary custom session with Melissa (highly recommend)

• A silhouette artwork (digital printable) with any Child Silhouette necklace

• A travel jewelry case with any jewelry purchase

If you learned something or felt inspired, tap the heart at the bottom—it helps more than you know. 🤍

xx,
Lauren

I am not, by nature, a particularly chill person.

Between work, kids, schedules, and the general mental load of modern life, my nervous system tends to operate somewhere between productive buzz and constant overdrive. Which is probably why treatments that promise to calm the body — cryotherapy, infrared saunas, float tanks — appeal to me.

When I heard about Pause Studio, a wellness space offering all of those therapies under one sleek roof in Greenwich, CT, it called my name. So I booked an evening to try out some of the most-popular treatments. The space itself is clean and calming. Think: mood lighting and people quietly slipping between treatments in robes.

Pause is also easy to root for, as it’s owned by three local moms: Jasmyn Pizzimbono, Carey Wunsch, and Kristina Gabelli. The trio is building something that feels as much like a community space as a wellness one. What I love about some of the Pause spaces, especially the IV drip area and sauna/cryo rooms, is that they’re large enough for two. I would absolutely go back with a girlfriend for a spa catch-up (who’s coming?) or a low-key date. A friend of mine already went with her husband and raved about it.

Within a few hours of my spa night, I had stepped into a subzero cryotherapy chamber, cocooned myself in a glowing LED bed, alternated between a 164-degree infrared sauna and an icy plunge pool, and floated in a magnesium-filled sensory deprivation tank.

I took copious notes. Let’s discuss what it all actually feels like and which treatments are worth trying.

❄️ Cryotherapy Chamber

What It Is

Cryotherapy exposes your body to extremely cold temperatures for a short burst of time (usually 2–3 minutes). The idea is that the cold triggers a rush of endorphins and reduces inflammation.

What It’s Like

You strip down to basically your birthday suit and step into what looks like a giant refrigerator.

Pause outfits you with protective gear: ankle socks, slippers, a towel wrap, ear warmers, and two pairs of gloves (one fitted, one leather). The idea is to “protect the most sensitive areas.”

I chose my soundtrack: Backstreet Boys (because I had FOMO about the Sphere show happening that weekend — the good news is I finally bought tickets to see my guys in Vegas this summer). And I stepped into the icy chamber.

Inside, everything glows blue and misty like a scene from Frozen. When you breathe out, you can see little puffs of cold air.

I stayed in for two minutes at the lowest setting. Totally manageable. I don’t love being cold, but it just felt like standing in a very icy room.

Then I stepped out.

And immediately felt this rush of energy and happiness that honestly surprised me.

The Benefits

Cryotherapy is said to:

• reduce inflammation

• speed muscle recovery

• boost mood through an endorphin rush

• increase mental clarity

One of the owners even mentioned it has anecdotally been used to help with postpartum depression.

My Verdict

I didn’t expect to love this. But the mental clarity and mood boost were real. I felt weirdly euphoric and focused afterward. It honestly feels like the ideal thing to do before making a big life decision (take the job? buy the house?) when everything suddenly seems a little clearer.

🔴 LED Light Therapy Bed

What It Is

It looks like a tanning bed, but instead of UV rays, it uses therapeutic LED light. Different colors target specific concerns. I chose red light, which is known for helping with inflammation, pain, and skin health.

What It’s Like

You lie inside the glowing pod wearing goggles, and let the light do its thing. It feels more like the warmth of a summer afternoon than a sauna (re: you’re not hot and sweaty).

After a few minutes, it felt like I was lying inside a warm, glowing cocoon. The session lasted 10 minutes, which honestly felt too short. I could have easily stayed for 30.

The Benefits

Red LED therapy may help with:

• reducing inflammation

• boosting collagen

• improving skin tone

• easing muscle soreness

My Verdict

This one felt both relaxing and productive, like you’re resting but also doing something good for your body. My skin felt warm and glowy afterward. I’ve mentioned this before: when it comes to whether LED therapy works, it comes down to consistency. Every dermatologist I’ve ever interviewed on this agrees that if you do it religiously (say four times a week for 3-10 minutes), you should experience results.

🔥 Infrared Sauna + Cold Plunge (Contrast Therapy)

What It Is

Contrast therapy alternates between heat and cold to stimulate circulation and relax the nervous system. At Pause, you can book a private room featuring an infrared sauna and an icy plunge tub. As mentioned, both are roomy enough to fit two people.

What It’s Like

The infrared sauna was spacious and pristine, with the temperature set to sweltering 164 degrees. I sat there listening to more Backstreet Boys ballads while reading my Kindle.

After about 10 minutes, I stepped into the plunge tub. It was icy and numbing at first, but after the heat of the sauna, it actually felt… amazing. I’ve done many sauna sessions and historically have had trouble getting into cold plunge pools. I hate that truly freezing feeling.

What I learned: it’s really delightful to do it after sweating in the sauna and way more manageable. While I didn’t dunk my head, I was able to get shoulder deep and stay there for a minute or so.

For the rest of my time, it was:

Back to the sauna.
Back to the plunge.

Each round relaxed me more.

The Benefits

Contrast therapy can:

• improve circulation

• reduce stress

• improve sleep

• boost recovery

My Verdict

Typically, I get bored in saunas and can’t wait to get out. But alternating between the heat and cold kept me in this perfect equilibrium. Not too hot, not too cold.

The best benefit for me was feeling seriously slowed down. It was like my nervous system just unlocked. I experienced a lazy, happy tiredness — not exhaustion like I’ve been out with my kids all day or haven’t slept enough — but rather that “vacation-level calm.” It feels like: you’ve been on the beach all day, and now it’s time to nap and shower. Also, my skin looked noticeably glowy and sculpted afterward. The skin of my thighs felt taut and toned.

🌊 Float Tank (Sensory Deprivation)

What It Is

A float tank contains warm water filled with magnesium salt (similar to the Dead Sea), so your body effortlessly floats.

The goal is deep relaxation and meditation.

What It’s Like

It looks like a giant egg-shaped pod with body-temperature salt water and a top that you can close. (If you’re at all claustrophobic, leave it open.) You can either go in naked or wearing a bathing suit. As our resident guinea pig, I tried it both ways and found swimwear to be more comfortable as it kept me warm. You’re also provided with a shower cap (wear it — my colorist warned me that magnesium salt can mess with hair color) and earplugs.

At first, it felt slippery and slightly strange inside the chamber. Be careful not to get salt in your eyes. I’m naturally squirmy and don’t have a great meditation practice. I can imagine if you do, this is the ideal place to meditate. Before I got in, one of the Pause staff members — a lovely man (who looked like a Josh but I didn’t catch his name) — explained that if you’re not sure how quiet your mind, think about the things you’re grateful for.

So I focused on that… my delicious little daughters, our Chef’s Kiss community, being given the time and space to try these healing treatments…

And before I knew it, I settled in. Quieted my mind. And the floating sensation was incredible. Low-fi beats played in the background.

Worth noting: You need to shower immediately after this (there’s one in the room), so plan it around a hair wash day. Pause supplies Le Labo shampoo, conditioner, and body wash so you’ll walk out smelling amazing.

The Benefits

Float therapy may help with:

• deep relaxation

• stress reduction

• improved sleep

• muscle recovery

My Verdict

It took a few minutes to get comfortable, but once I did, I felt completely mellow and detoxed. I basically floated out of the building, ready for bed.

This is a treatment I would want to try again, potentially not coupled with anything else. You really need to give yourself enough time to do it: float for up to 45 minutes and then shower. This is one of those that could be a savior if you need a real reset. Floating in that water is unlike anything I’ve experienced in all my extensive spa days.

I’m still not a chill person. But for a few hours at Pause, I got pretty close.

After reading about all of these therapies, which one would you be most excited to try?

Leave a comment

And if you do choose to book a treatment at Pause, mention Chef’s Kiss to receive 30% off a single service or 15% off a package.

xx,
Lauren

Ever since we ditched skinny jeans in favor of wider, looser, and more “interpretative” styles, I lost a bit of my denim swagger. Skinnies worked for me. Thanks to years of dance, my legs are toned, and I appreciate the sculpting effect of stretchy denim (it’s also why I’ll never give up leggings, no matter how “millennial” I look).

I’ve found some pairs that work—booty-hugging flares, cropped wide-leg styles, comfy barrels—but I still need guidance on what’s actually on-trend and flattering. Enter: my most stylish friends.

Thank god for these women who know their denim. They’re the types who will go to the farthest corners of the internet or indie boutiques to source the perfect cuts, washes, and fabrics. And they genuinely live in jeans. (Once it hits the 70s, I personally switch to dresses for most of the season.) Not this trio. Even on balmy summer nights, they’re in denim.

To help us curate the Chef’s Kiss spring denim guide, meet my crew—Pamela, Jessica, and Alex—who have specially served up jeans ready for your shopping carts.

Meet: Pamela — The Fashion Girlie

Pamela (not Pam) works in fashion. She’s a VP of wholesale, and you can tell. I bet if CBK were around today, she’d approve: lots of fitted black (from bodysuits to turtlenecks) tucked into flawless denim. Like Carolyn, Pamela’s long hair dries in effortless, fashion-girl waves.

When I asked what she was packing for a recent Caribbean vacation, her answer: jeans (obvi). She’s someone who chooses denim over breezy dresses or shorts, even in the warmest of weather. For that didn’t-try-too-hard-but-still-cool vibe, try her edit below. Bonus points for adding a studded belt and a designer baseball cap.

From Pamela:

“Reformation’s Cary High Rise Slouchy Wide Leg Jeans anchors the lineup with its clean, elongated silhouette. On my 5’2” frame, the raw hem became an intentional styling choice after I trimmed them, and the subtle stud detailing gives them a versatility that moves easily from casual to polished.”

“Levi's Ribcage Straight Ankle Jeans are the workhorses of my closet. The dark wash is endlessly wearable, the ankle length hits exactly where I like, and the ultra‑high rise paired with a no‑stretch fabric creates that structured, vintage rigidity I never tire of.”

“Rag & Bone Sofie Raw Hem High Waist Crop Wide Leg offers a softer counterpoint: still high‑waisted but slightly less so, fitted through the thigh before breaking into a wide leg, and finished with a pre‑cut ankle‑skimming hem that feels intentionally undone. They have just enough give to stay comfortable without losing shape.”

“Toteme Classic Cut is the lone lower‑rise option of the group. While the lower waistline makes wearing a belt more of a challenge for me, the impeccable fit and clean, straight leg more than make up for it, even in a no‑stretch fabric.”

Meet: Jessica — The Leggy One

Jessica and I met when we were both new moms on the Upper West Side. When men walked by us, they did a double-take because Jessica actually looks like a model. She’s not the kind of pretty you want to hate on; she’s the one you want to be best friends and go to brunch with. (And she’s 5’10”, in case you were wondering.)

I’d describe her style as selectively trendy (she has the latest Bottega bag, but she’s not making a big fuss over it), and now that she’s living in Miami, it has a bit more spice. Also, Jessica is an excellent writer, and she has her own Substack, The Wall, where she shares unfiltered essays on motherhood and modern life.

From Jessica:

“These Citizen of Humanity drawstring pants are what happens if your favorite sweatpants and blue jeans had a baby. These are my current go-tos, the pair I always want to turn to. Clocking in with 100% regenerative cotton, they offer the perfect wide-leg and low-rise slouch for the comfiest fit and feel. Just like sweats, the drawstring allows you to adjust the jeans to be tighter or looser depending on your desired fit for the day. They are definitely casual—I’ve worn them to playdates and running errands—but I've also dressed them up for a low-key night out.”

“This one is for the tall girls! At 5'10", it can be incredibly hard for me to find straight-leg jeans long enough to wear with heels. With a 34-inch inseam, this Frame straight trouser pair gets the job done. The high-rise waist, slightly loose fit, and trouser-style pockets give these jeans an elevated feel, making them a perfect choice for a night out. Containing a high amount of stretch, the denim relaxes into a fit tailored to flatter your body without losing its shape.”

Meet: Alex — The Polished Perfectionist

Alex is my favorite person to text nonstop about shopping. Seriously, we spend hours (days!) sending selfies of our hauls, helping each other decide what to keep and return. The woman truly loves jeans. And she’s amazing at finding them, whether from Bloomie’s or an indie boutique in Vermont. She’s helped me find so many on-trend, comfortable pairs I actually live in.

By day, Alex works in email marketing; by night, she’s everywhere from her son’s hockey games to swanky dinners in the most flattering fits. Her style leans preppy, luxe, and intentional; think: the perfect cashmere sweater or fitted tank. And jeans. Always jeans. Trust her on this.

From Alex:

“I’ve always loved a boyfriend jean, and these high-rise Denimist ones get it so right. They’re fitted and flattering through the butt but still relaxed enough that they’re actually comfortable on the waist, even sitting all day. At this point, comfort is everything for me, and these hit that while still looking put together. They have almost an old-school Levi’s feel, and the denim itself is just such great quality. I also love how easy they are to dress up or down. They just work for anything.”

“I’ve been really into Rails denim lately. This wide-leg style hits that sweet spot of a great price point while still feeling elevated. I love the dark wash on these for going out, and the fit is so good. They’re high-rise and flattering through the waist and hips, with a wide leg that feels modern but not overly exaggerated. The length is perfect with a slight heel, which makes them feel more polished. They’re also incredibly comfortable, which is always key for me, and an easy go-to when I want something that looks put together but still feels effortless.”

Extra Credit

A few more spring denim finds I either own or am coveting right now:

🤌 This Guerlain denim lipstick case is beyond chic. Plus, it has a secret mirror for touch-ups.

🤌 Charlotte Tilbury makes some of my favorite eyeshadow palettes, including this icy set featuring matte and shimmery blues.

🤌 I’ve ‘grammed about this La Ligne denim dress before and now sharing it here. I bought it two years ago and still love it (true investment piece!). The A-line cut creates a nipped waist, and the denim feels substantial but not heavy.

🤌 This new GAP midi dress (well, maxi on me) is the newest addition to my closet. The drop waist and smocked back hug all the right spots in the right way.

🤌 I snagged this collarless Veronica Beard denim jacket last fall, and can’t wait to break it out this spring. The brown buttons are gorgeous in person, and it’s currently 44% off.

🤌 My one pair of Margaux ballet flats live up to the hype: they’re really that comfortable. Dreaming about styling this denim pair with a little white dress or cream slacks.

🤌 Polo Ralph Lauren makes actually affordable designer bags, and this little acid-wash bag is giving grown-up Y2K vibes in the best way.

🤌 This bleached blue Anine Bing baseball cap is similar to the Celine one we all want for a fraction of the price.

Since we are crowd-sourcing here, I’d genuinely love to hear what your favorite jeans are (including the brand, style, and wash—please!).

Leave a comment

Shop everything from this post here.

xx,
Lauren

P.S. If you found this post helpful, tap the ❤️ at the bottom of the post before you go. It helps more than you know.

In case you missed it…

Let’s define the quintessential going-out top together:

• This is a top, not a tee. Pants are involved. Usually jeans. Often dark wash. Not mad about leather pants.

• It is dressier than a work blouse, sexier than a sweater, and designed almost exclusively to be worn with heels to dinner, drinks, or a party.

• It’s slightly impractical for daytime. You would not wear this to a children’s birthday party. Think: silk, satin, lace, or something that vaguely signals “going to a lounge.”

• As soon as you put it on, you feel vibey and may want to add a “getting ready” soundtrack like Hilary Duff, Miley Cyrus, or (my favorite) the Backstreet Boys.

Our goal is not to revive the going-out tops of our college days (just watch a few episodes of Tell Me Lies and you’ll cringe at our early-aughts fashion choices). Rather, the 2026 version has evolved along with us. Modern going-out tops need to fit our lifestyles. For instance, many of us (myself included) need serious bra support after those breastfeeding years. And no judgment if you’d rather keep your upper arms covered with slimming sleeves. That said, I’m all for a sexy AF going-out top for a 40-something—a bare shoulder, a little cleavage, a slice up the upper abs—you do you.

After a handful of friends recently texted for my help sourcing spring going-out tops, I’m sharing my findings here. The task: keep the price point attainable (there are picks from Target and Gap) alongside more luxe selects. My cousin already bought one, sent me a photo (she looks hot!), and texted her husband to plan a date night because she “finally has an outfit to wear.”

So I present: a curated collection of going-out tops, all receiving the Chef’s Kiss stamp of approval. I combed through dozens and narrowed it down to the ones I’d actually wear.

The Sexy, Lacy Black Edit

My late grandfather owned a lace factory, so I will always have a soft spot for the peek-a-boo fabric.

From left to right:

1. Show Some Shoulder

This sheer off-the-shoulder top screams date night (it’s also the one my cousin just bought, and she can confirm it’s a keeper). While not technically lace, the dotted mesh gives the same sexy vibe. Also perfect for a 40th birthday party.

2. The On-Trend One

Western-inspired styles are trending this spring, and the fringe on this lace top feels especially fresh. The longer length taps into the Y2K comeback—just style it over jeans or pants that are fitted at the hips.

3. Perfect Dinner Top

IMO, this silk-and-velvet top is near perfect: not too low-cut, not too fitted, yet still seductive. It’s feminine with a little edge. Pair it with black jeans and a belt like one for a didn’t-try-too-hard dinner look.

4. Carolyn Would Approve

The pop of lace along the side of this fitted turtleneck is subtle yet suggestive. If you’ve been watching Love Story and fallen into a CBK style rabbit hole (hi, me), this is a modern take on her signature black turtleneck.

The Summer-Ready Collection

What these tops all have in common: they pair perfectly with white pants. Can Memorial Day come any sooner? In all seriousness, cream jeans and slacks deserve a spot in your wardrobe year-round.

Left to right:

1. Bridgerton Meets Britney

Bring on the Texas tuxedo. This denim corset top (it’s from Gap!) creates a seriously cinched waist and looks fantastic with the matching jeans. I also love it styled with a white maxi skirt for a softer, romantic vibe.

2. Chocolate Moment

Brown was the “it girl” color of fall, and it’s sticking around for spring. This top is near perfect: 100 percent silk means it feels decadent against skin, and bra straps fit underneath easily.

3. Remember Halters?

I own a knit top in a similar terracotta shade, and it’s one of my most-worn pieces. This rust-colored top looks especially chic with white pants and even better with a summer tan.

4. The $20 Steal

This Target top looks exactly like a Reformation one I own that was significantly pricier. The twist detail and off-the-shoulder neckline create a flattering shape, and the sky-blue shade is a fun option if you usually live in neutrals.

The Sweet Ones

If you’re feeling French and flirty, something a little more delicate may be your vibe. And if you’re stuck in a black-top-and-jeans rut, these tops help break you out of it.

Left to right:

1. Flirty Little Top

Tiny puff sleeves. A subtle peplum ruffle. Crisp 100 percent cotton poplin. Dare I admit I have a crush on this little white top?

2. Bohemian Dreams

Whether you throw this lace bell-sleeve top over a bathing suit with denim cutoffs or dress it up with slacks, it offers an effortlessly polished look. I predict it’s one of those pieces you’ll reach for more than you expect.

3. Def Leopard

This is one of those tops that creates an instantly flattering, feminine shape. The subtle waist seams and cropped cut create a naturally cinched silhouette that pairs perfectly with high-waisted jeans. And two more important details: puff sleeves.

4. Pretty in Mauve

Of course I’m drawn to this ruched top in the loveliest mauve shade—it’s serving hot ballerina. The double sheer layers ripple where you want coverage and stay sleek everywhere else.

Discover even more going-out tops here, including an Isabel Marant-inspired blouse.

Be honest: are you still wearing going-out tops or did we retire them after 2012? As we’ve established, I’m firmly in the pro going-out top camp, but I’m curious where everyone else lands.

Leave a comment

xx,
Lauren

P.S. If you liked even one top (or were a tiny bit amused), tap the ❤️ at the bottom of the post before you go. It helps more than you know.

In case you missed it…

I met Julie Leffell on… Facebook.

Michael and I had just bought our first home last summer, and I was searching for an interior decorator. I went to my favorite place to crowdsource recommendations: Facebook groups. (Specifically, Facebook mom groups — where you can get a recommendation for literally anything.)

Julie runs a wildly popular group called My Mom Friend. It has more than 10,000 members and, in my humble opinion, it’s the best mom network on Meta. You can find anything there — from baby nurses to brutally honest resort reviews to another mom whose kid has the exact same picky-eating phase. Naturally, I went there to shop around for interior decorator names.

Which brings us back to how Lauren met Julie.

Even though we have tons of mutual friends, we had never actually met until I searched “interior decorator” in the My Mom Friend search bar. Among the recommendations, Julie chimed in, explaining that she’s a photographer for interior designers and offered to share suggestions.

I thought: That’s who I want to talk to.

At the time, I was in full investigative-journalist mode, trying to find the right decorator (there was a spreadsheet involved… about 12 names deep… but that’s a story for another day). So I messaged Julie, and she responded right away. Before long, we had a lunch date on the calendar. (We both live in Westchester, a few towns apart.)

Over sushi tacos, Julie opened her Rolodex of interior designers. She shared tips on how to work with them and told me about her own career journey.

After graduating from law school, she began her career as a corporate lawyer. Then, it’s a story you may know well — she had a baby (today she has three daughters who are 3, 5, and 8 years old) — and it changed everything. Leaving a baby for a job you’re not passionate about hits differently.

Julie eventually became a coach (which makes total sense once you meet her — she asks thoughtful questions and actually listens to the answers). But she missed collaborating with colleagues in person and felt a pull toward something more creative.

So she pivoted again. This time into a very specific niche: photographing interiors for designers. And it’s a happily ever after as she finally found the balance, flexibility, and artistic outlet she had been searching for.

But I’ll let her tell you this story in her own words.

And stay tuned until the end, because she’s also sharing her tips for making your home more photogenic, why she doesn’t get worked up about Facebook mom-group drama, and the chic staples she’s wearing this spring.

Make the Career Shift from Corporate to Creative

What initially made you want to be a lawyer?
Julie Leffell: When I chose law as a career path, I had a clear vision of what I wanted to do: be a litigator. My dream job was to work in a District Attorney’s office as a prosecutor. That version of law felt dynamic and purposeful to me. But landing a big corporate law job was much easier than securing a position in a DA’s office.

Why did you leave law?
JL: My reason for leaving law is simple: I hated going to work every single day. The days felt long and unexciting. I respect the work deeply, but I knew in my gut that I could not continue doing something that did not energize me.

Leaving was not simple. Financially, it was an adjustment. Psychologically, it was harder. Law had been the plan for so long. It was part of how I defined myself. Stepping away felt destabilizing.

How did you step back?
JL: I did not make a dramatic exit. I made a “soft leave.” I moved to another firm and worked on the administrative side in legal personnel. It felt safer.

Shortly after switching to a non-practicing legal role, my first daughter was born. Learning to navigate the balance between work and motherhood was a transition in itself. Someone once asked me: What are you prioritizing with your career: money, passion, or flexibility?

I had given up a much larger salary, I still did not feel passionate, and there was more flexibility, but not enough. I still had to miss certain milestones. After a few years in this new role, I didn’t feel totally aligned with what I was doing.

Did leaving the law job affect your identity?
JL: I do not struggle with the identity of “former lawyer” because I am still, and will always be, a lawyer. While I retired and no longer maintain my license, I still think like a lawyer. The difference is that now people are far more excited to hear about my latest photoshoot than about a deal I worked on for six months that never signed.

What drew you to coaching?
JL: A colleague connected me with a career coach who was working with lawyers at the firm. During one of our sessions, she looked at me and said, very directly, that I should be coaching.

I took a leap to chase passion. I left my job and enrolled in a coaching certification program. I coached expectant parents on how to transition out of their roles, take parental leave thoughtfully, and return with intention. It was incredibly fulfilling work.

But coaching wasn’t “the one”...
JL: Slowly, I began to feel something familiar — the same quiet restlessness and disconnection from work. During a coaching certification program, something unexpected happened. Without planning to say it, I heard myself admit that I wanted to focus on photography, not coaching. It surprised me. Once I said it out loud, it started to feel real. Looking back, it made total sense.

Tell us more.
JL: In high school, I took my first photography course and fell completely in love. Around the time I left my corporate law job, I bought a digital camera. I was experimenting and having fun. I photographed my daughter, my friends, and moments from our travels. My friends asked me to bring my camera when we got together. At first, I did it for free, but eventually I started charging. I loved feeling like an artist again.

Why interior design photography?
JL: Most family shoots happen on weekends, and that was the time I wanted to protect for my own family. Family photography requires moving quickly and working within a kind of beautiful chaos. I wanted more control over light, composition, and environment. I wanted the time and space to perfect a frame, to study the way shadows move across a room, to adjust a chair by an inch, and edit the shot until it felt just right. I have always had a strong appreciation for interior design.

Did you find balance doing this?
JL: At the beginning of my photography career, I packed my schedule. I was shooting four to five days a week and staying up all night editing. I said yes to every new client because I wasn’t sure when the next one would come. Now I’m in a different phase. I’ve been able to raise my rates and become more selective with my clients.

My kids need me more right now than ever, so I try to limit shoots to one or two days a week. I can block off days in advance. I can take a week off without guilt. I can leave early on Halloween to go trick-or-treating.

Advice for anyone who is considering a career shift?
JL: My advice would be to be patient. Find something you love and keep doing it. Sometimes you have to work for free in the beginning to build a portfolio and show people what you’re capable of. Nothing happened overnight for me. It took time, consistency, and a lot of hard work. The most important thing was trusting that if I kept going, I would get where I was meant to be.

Home Design Tips from Someone Who Sees it All

Since you see so many beautiful homes, what design trends are you loving right now?
JL: I am loving muted colors and a renewed focus on detail. Slowly, we’ve been layering in colors — not bright, punchy hues, but soft, muted tones. They feel serene and rich. There’s something timeless about a color that feels intentional rather than loud.

I’m also loving the emphasis on little details. I’m all about moldings and trim. Those elements add depth and elegance to a space in a way that furniture alone cannot. I would rather spend less on kitchen counter stools and invest in beautiful switch plates or thoughtfully designed hardware.

Which local designers are you loving?
JL: I work with so many talented local designers that it would be impossible to choose just a few. If you’re looking for inspiration, browse my Instagram, where I showcase many of the designers that I shoot for. One of my favorite games to play is for you to send me three inspiration photos, and I’ll tell you which designer you should be hiring. [Editor’s note: Julie and I played this game when I was in the market for an interior designer. She’s good.]

Remember sidebars in print magazines? Let’s pretend this is one of them, but in digital format.

Julie’s 5 Secrets to a More Photogenic Home

If you’re looking to photograph your home, here are five things that make an immediate difference:

1. Keep Your Lines Straight
Hold your camera or iPhone so the lens is parallel to the wall you’re photographing. If you tilt up or down, your vertical lines will lean. Straight lines instantly make a space feel more polished.

2. Use Fresh Flowers
Fresh flowers elevate a room immediately. I’m not a fan of faux arrangements. Choose one variety in a single color and place it in a great vase (my market always has delphiniums or snapdragons, which are so easy!). Simple always photographs better than overworked.

3. Add Real Life to Shelves
If shelves are bare, a space can feel cold. A designer once told me to fill my shelves with old books instead of spacing decorative objects out. It changed everything. Books and collected objects create warmth and dimension. A home should feel lived in and personal.

4. Turn Off Overhead Lights
Natural light is the best light. Shoot the room when the light is beautiful and turn off overhead fixtures. Mixing warm interior lighting with daylight creates color inconsistencies and flattens the space.

5. Embrace Negative Space
Not every wall needs art. Too much styling makes a room feel busy. Some of my favorite images include open wall space. A home evolves, and that restraint is beautiful.

Building a Beloved Facebook Mom Group

We both unapologetically love Facebook groups. Why are you a fan?
JL: Facebook groups are everything. They are still the single best place to get information. On Facebook, there’s accountability. You can see who someone is. You can tell if they seem real.

There is also truly a group for everything. Finding people who care deeply about the exact same niche topic you do is exhilarating.

What inspired you to start “My Mom Friend”?
JL: I needed a better way to crowdsource information as a new parent. I was seeing fake profiles, self-promotion, and a surprising amount of judgment. I wanted a community where you had to know someone to get in. That one small requirement created accountability. It ensured members were real and conversations felt thoughtful and respectful.

What success and inspiring stories have emerged from this group?
JL: Some of the most inspiring moments are when a parent posts something vulnerable and feels like they’re the only person going through it. Within minutes, dozens of women respond, saying they’ve been there, too.

There are IRL opportunities, too, right?
JL: One of my favorite initiatives has been our Virtual Villages — new mom support groups for moms with babies the same age, run by a parent coach for six weeks. Many of these groups stay together long after the sessions end. I see photos of them out to dinner or celebrating birthdays more than six years later.

How do you handle monitoring drama or conflicts?
JL: Being part of the group is a choice. If someone doesn’t feel aligned with how I run it, it’s okay for them to leave. I have clear rules, and I enforce them consistently. Not everyone loves that, but structure is what keeps the group productive and respectful. The goal is to maintain a space that feels useful, safe, and intentional for the majority of members.

Her Style and Favorite Local Spots

Where do you go shopping?
JL: My favorite places to thrift are the Greenwich Hospital Auxiliary Thrift Shop and The Antiques and Artisan Gallery in Stamford. I love the hunt at both stores, and my house is filled with finds. My most recent is a set of vintage glasses that now live on a shelf in my living room. There’s something so satisfying about discovering a little treasure no one else noticed.

Favorite spot to eat?
JL: The Kneaded Bread is my favorite quick lunch spot, whether I’m eating there or grabbing something to go. The bread is amazing, but I’m obsessed with their salads — and their tuna is next-level good. [Editor’s note: the curry chicken salad is also next level.]

Are there ways you connect with Jewish culture or community locally that feel especially meaningful?
JL: The best way I’ve connected to Jewish life in Westchester has been by hosting Shabbat dinners. Instead of getting a babysitter on a Friday night, invite another family over and host. It turns a regular night into something more meaningful and grounding.

If cooking feels intimidating, order in. The point is not the menu. It’s the ritual. Light the candles, eat challah, pour grape juice, and pause together. It’s simple, beautiful, and easy to do. It has been one of the most natural ways to build community and end the week with intention.

What fashion and accessories pieces are you loving right now?

🤌 Ponytail pins: I stick these gold pins into my pony or bun when I’m feeling lazy but want to look like I tried.

🤌 Hermès Calvi wallet: This was a gift from an interior designer, Emily Shron of Shron Interior Designs. Her fashion is as chic as her designs. I bring this everywhere. It’s the perfect size and shape.

🤌 The perfect white tee: I’ve been on a never-ending hunt for the perfect white tee and finally found it. I’m a big jeans and white tee girl. [Editor’s note: I am buying this.]

What are your three can’t-live-without beauty or wellness products?

🤌 Prescription strength retinol: Because we’re getting older, and I’m trying to slow that down.

🤌 Le Labo perfume: It’s pricey, but if I had a dollar for every time someone sniffed me and told me I smelled amazing, it would have paid for itself.

🤌 Le Balm: I’ve been obsessively slathering this all over my face at night, and it’s evening out my skin tone. It’s really so nice, and the smell is not overpowering.

What part of Julie’s story resonated with you most? Hit reply or drop it in the comments — I’d love to hear.

xx,
LL

P.S. Tapping the little heart at the bottom of this post lets me know you liked it.

When it comes to winter blues (or should we say “the blahs”), my mantra is always: I went to Syracuse University — I can handle this. Back then, we went everywhere, from class to the bars, trekking through brutal weather without letting it stop us. It was two decades ago, but I still try to channel that energy as my Q1 life strategy.

This year feels…different. We didn’t go away for February break, and we’ve been stuck inside thanks to snowstorm after snowstorm (Monday in the ‘burbs looked like Arendelle). Even with consistent self-care habits, it’s hard not to feel slightly off.

I’m not pretending to have this perfectly figured out. (And if you think you have true seasonal affective disorder, please seek professional support.) But sometimes a little retail therapy, a subtle routine shift, or simply lighting a beautiful candle can be an instant mood booster.

For me, nothing beats sitting at a bar with a sparkly friend catching up or taking a slow, intentional reformer Pilates class. But when you’re home during a blizzard, you work with what you’ve got. Here’s how I’m surviving — and attempting to thrive — through this atypically long winter.

Morning Routine

I wish I could tell you I wake up, meditate, drink lemon water, and step into direct sunlight. I don’t. And I’m not going to do a full morning routine breakdown (maybe another time… maybe when I’ve made more progress).

Instead, here are a few small shifts that help.

My husband is two weeks into a cleanse. I haven’t joined him, but it has inspired me to start my day with a protein-forward smoothie. I’m probably not going to eat my body weight in protein (but never say never), yet increasing it — in a way that doesn’t involve more eggs — has genuinely improved how I feel.

I’m extremely particular about protein powder. It must be:

• Vegan (no whey for me)

• Actually tastes good

• Blend easily

• Leave me energized, not bloated

I’ve been loving this vanilla cinnamon powder, which has 20 grams of plant-based protein and helps to boost your metabolism. The brand’s founder, Allie Egan, is a friend, so I know how particular she is about ingredients. All that aside, it’s absolutely delicious (I love cinnamon!) and tastes incredible mixed with unsweetened almond milk, almond butter, a banana, blueberries, and ice.

On mornings when I didn’t sleep enough or my skin looks dull, I break out the face oil. Chanel’s jasmine oil is exactly as chic as it sounds. The jasmine is harvested from Chanel’s farm in Grasse (which I visited in everyone’s favorite year, 2016, on a press trip). It adds a subtle glow without feeling greasy, and you can mix it with moisturizer.

Afterward, I run this ice-cold sculpting tool over my skin. It has two sides to contour and sculpt, which we know I love. As soon as I do this ritual — even if it’s for one minute — I feel more awake and refreshed.

Daytime Quick Fix

Between Zoom calls, I am absolutely the person misting her face. I keep one on every desk, including my office in the city. After trying countless sprays, this is my favorite. It feels soothing, smells subtly botanical, and instantly lifts my spirits.

If my makeup fades, I’ll tap a few drops of this stunning, rose-gold highlighter onto my cheekbones. The bottle is tiny enough to fit in my bag, and it adds that subtle je ne sais quoi sheen — not glitter, just glow. (It also makes me look slightly tanner, which in February is helpful.) Then I swipe on this sheer peony-pink lipstick for that “your lips but better” look.

Movement is non-negotiable. A midday sanity walk does more for my headspace than any guided meditation. After work, I’ve been loving reformer classes at New York Pilates in NYC. The slow, intentional movement calms my nervous system and gently reactivates those post-childbearing abs.

On WFH days, I’ll stream Peloton or Pvolve, which I’ve been doing for years. I recently got a subscription to Melissa Wood Health and am already loving the spicy 20-minute, low-impact workouts incorporating ankle weights. If you want to try it with me, use code “LAUREN66” to stream the workouts for $5 per month (usually $14.95 per month).

Evening Ritual

Mood lighting does it for me. I turn on warm lamps and light a candle. Since we’ve established I love jasmine, it’s no surprise I gravitate toward this sophisticated jasmine-and-damask-rose candle to illuminate my bedroom. I’m essentially trying to make my house smell like France.

Piping hot showers are my guilty pleasure (yes, I know — not ideal for skin). So I make sure to apply body butter immediately after. Lately, I’ve been loving this body butter that goes on thick and instantly melts into a serum-like texture. I could laundry list the ingredients (olive tree stem cells, sea algae), but the TL;DR is that it helps smooth and firm skin (even crepiness and sun damage). Plus, it has the sensorial experience of smelling like lavender, geranium, and cedarwood.

Then, it’s time to put my phone on “do not disturb” so I can do some LED light therapy — either with my beloved gua sha or this mask — and consume some content. The last TV shows I loved were Heated Rivalry and Tell Me Lies (which brings us back to where we started: ‘Cuse. It’s super nostalgic for all of us who attended college in the early aughts).

Okay, your turn. What’s the one thing you do that instantly shifts your energy? Whether it’s a product, a routine, or a tiny luxury, please drop it in the comments so we can survive winter together.

Leave a comment

xx,
LL

P.S. If this resonated, tap the little heart at the bottom. It helps more than you know.

Dr. Carniciu is a board-certified oculofacial plastic surgeon, meaning if you’re considering under-eye or eyelid surgery (a.k.a. a bleph), lasers, or anything involving the delicate eye area, she’s exactly who you want to see. What I love most about her page is her honesty. Whether she’s explaining why we’re all removing our eye makeup incorrectly or breaking down whether someone truly needs filler or lasers, her no-BS, science-backed approach speaks directly to my blunt New Yorker heart.

The first time I met her in person, I genuinely thought she was 25 (she’s 36, for the record). Her skin was luminous, her eye area smooth. I immediately thought: whatever she’s doing, I want in. I personally know people who trust her with their Botox, filler, and laser treatments. They look incredible.

When I started dreaming up my Chef’s Kiss interview wish list, she was always at the top. It’s partly self-fulfilling. If we’re being honest, a few dermatologists have told me I could benefit from an upper bleph, so eye aesthetics have long been on my radar. I also can’t look away from a good bleph before-and-after on Instagram (anyone else following Danielle Bernstein’s journey?).

During my years as an Editorial Director at Allergan Aesthetics, I became fascinated by the science behind neurotoxins, fillers, and the entire aesthetic ecosystem. Calling this an interest feels understated. It’s a full-blown obsession. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to ask her all of my eye surgery questions (such as, why does Anne Hathaway look so darn good?).

I was honored when Dr. Carniciu carved out time from her busy schedule (she has offices in Westchester and NYC) to talk all things eyes. We covered everything from the buzzy treatment she’s not a fan of (hint: it involves using your own blood) to exactly how she prepped her skin for her recent wedding.

The Eye Expert

What exactly does an oculoplastic surgeon do — and what don’t you do?

Dr. Anaïs Carniciu: I’m an oculoplastic surgeon, which means my entire practice is focused on the eyes, eyelids, brows, and upper face. I perform eyelid and brow surgery and offer non-surgical treatments such as Botox, select fillers, and laser-based skin treatments when they truly make sense.

What I don’t do is general plastic surgery of the body or trend-driven treatments. I’m very intentional about keeping my scope narrow. The eye area is incredibly delicate. Millimeters matter. Safety matters. I believe patients are best served by someone who works in this space all day, every day.

Why the eyes?

AC: I was drawn to this field because it combines aesthetics with an extremely high level of precision. The eyes are the focal point of the face, and even small changes can dramatically affect how someone looks and feels.

I also appreciate how subtle the work is when it’s done well. The goal is never to change someone’s identity. It’s to help them look refreshed, rested, and like the best version of themselves.

From Blephs to Botox

In simple terms, what is an upper bleph?

AC: An upper blepharoplasty removes excess skin and sometimes a small amount of fat from the upper eyelids. Over time, that skin can droop and make the eyes look heavy or tired. Surgery helps open the eye area and create a more refreshed appearance.

And a lower blepharoplasty?

AC: A lower blepharoplasty addresses under-eye bags or puffiness. Modern lower eyelid surgery focuses on repositioning and smoothing rather than aggressively removing fat, so the results look natural and balanced.

The benefits are subtle but meaningful. You look less tired and more refreshed. Scars are typically hidden in natural creases or inside the eyelid and are very difficult to see once healed.

When it comes to under-eye filler, you told me, “I dissolve more filler than I inject.” What are you seeing?

AC: The under-eye area is one of the most overtreated regions of the face. I often see patients who have lingering filler that was placed too superficially or layered repeatedly over time. This can lead to puffiness, a bluish hue, or heaviness that doesn’t resolve.

In many cases, dissolving old filler restores the natural anatomy and immediately improves the appearance. Some patients may benefit from a very small amount of carefully placed filler afterward, but others are much better candidates for surgical correction.

What about Botox? What can and can’t it do around the eyes?

AC: Botox is excellent for softening crow’s feet, relaxing tension around the eyes, and subtly lifting the brows. It can make people look more rested and relaxed, and also plays a preventative role.

What it can’t do is remove excess skin, correct significant hooding, or fix under-eye bags. Botox works best when it’s used honestly and strategically, not as a replacement for surgery when surgery is the better option.

What is an eyebrow lift? And when is it the right option over an upper bleph?

AC: A brow lift restores the eyebrows to a more youthful position. In many patients, brow descent is actually the main reason the upper lids feel heavy.

I often perform a subtle lateral brow lift, sometimes referred to as a ponytail lift. It mimics the effect of pulling your hair back and opens the eyes without changing someone’s expression or making the brows look overdone.

What genuinely works when it comes to lasers around the eyes?

AC: Lasers can be very effective for improving fine lines, crepey texture, and pigmentation around the eyes. They won’t remove bags or excess skin, but in the right patient, they can significantly improve skin quality.

I like lasers as part of a thoughtful plan, either for early aging changes or as a refinement after surgery.

PRP is everywhere right now. What’s your take on using it under the eyes?

AC: PRP (platelet-rich plasma) is derived from your own blood and is often marketed as regenerative, but in my experience and based on available evidence, results under the eyes tend to be underwhelming and short lived.

I’m very intentional about offering treatments that are evidence based and durable. Patients are investing in themselves, and I want them to feel confident they’re getting real value from their care. If I wouldn’t do something for myself or recommend it to close friends or family, I don’t offer it.

Is there a “right” age for any of this?

AC: There’s no specific age. It depends on anatomy, genetics, and goals. Some patients benefit from preventative care in their 30s, while others are best served by surgical solutions later on.

Any other aesthetic advice you want to share?

AC: Be cautious of trends, especially around the eyes. Overfilling and overcorrecting can actually age people. Subtle, anatomy respecting treatments always stand the test of time.

Beauty Rituals

What makeup and skincare advice do you wish we all knew?

AC: The skin around the eyes is thinner and more fragile than anywhere else on the face. Being gentle with products, application, and removal makes a bigger difference than most people realize.

Why are you against waterproof mascara?

AC: Waterproof mascara requires more rubbing and heavier removers to take off. Over time, that repeated traction contributes to lash loss and eyelid skin laxity. For everyday wear, it’s simply too harsh for the eye area.

How should we correctly remove eye makeup?

AC: Apply a gentle remover, let it sit for several seconds, and wipe softly. No scrubbing. Patience is protective when it comes to the eyes.

Try Bioderma Sensibio Micellar Water, which is gentle and effective without tugging or irritation.

What are your go-to makeup products for around or near the eyes?

AC: These are my favorites that I frequently recommend to patients for their formulation and ease of removal:

🤌 Mascara: Maybelline Lash Sensational Sky High (Washable)
It provides incredible length, but unlike waterproof formulas, it doesn’t require aggressive scrubbing to remove, which protects the delicate eyelid skin from mechanical irritation and premature aging.

🤌 Brows: Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz
This is a cult favorite for a reason. The ultra-slim pencil allows for precise, hair-like strokes that look completely natural, and the formula stays put without being difficult to take off at the end of the night.

🤌 Concealer: Monika Blunder Blunder Cover
This is a fantastic “all-in-one” product. It’s gentle for the under-eye area while providing enough pigment to neutralize dark circles without caking.

🤌 Blush: Westman Atelier Baby Cheeks Blush Stick
A clean, creamy formula that melts into the skin. Looks natural and easy to apply.

🤌 Complexion: Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter
I love this for a healthy, blurred glow that doesn’t look like heavy foundation.

Favorite skincare? You have your own line…

AC: NY Eye & Face is a medical grade skincare line I developed in collaboration with medical chemists. The goal was to cut out the middleman and unnecessary luxury packaging and focus instead on ingredient driven formulations that actually deliver results. These are products I use myself and recommend to my closest friends and family. They are available in office or can be shipped by calling the practice.

🤌 Eye cream: NY Eye & Face Peptide Eye Cream
Formulated to support thin under-eye skin with targeted peptides focused on firmness, hydration, and long-term skin health.

🤌 Moisturizer (post-procedure and daily): NY Eye & Face Lipid Cream
A medical-grade barrier repair cream designed to calm, hydrate, and restore delicate eye and facial skin, especially after procedures.

🤌 Tinted sunscreen: NY Eye & Face Tinted Mineral SPF
A physical sunscreen that protects while subtly brightening the face and under-eye area.

🤌 Clear sunscreen: NY Eye & Face Clear Mineral SPF
Ideal for sensitive or post-procedure skin with elegant, non-irritating mineral protection.

What daily habits affect the eye area more than people realize?

AC: Sleep, hydration, allergy control, and treating dry eye disease make a tremendous difference. Chronic eye rubbing, often from allergies, is one of the most overlooked contributors to premature aging around the eyes.

Practice What You Preach

You recently got married. Did you do any special treatments beforehand?

AC: I focused on consistency rather than anything aggressive. I stuck to conservative Botox, which means using smaller doses to soften expression lines while maintaining natural movement in the brows.

When it came to skincare, I prioritized medical-grade hydration and antioxidants — specifically a vitamin C serum every morning and a high-quality hyaluronic acid to keep the skin barrier plump and resilient. I also prioritized rest and avoided experimenting with anything new close to the date.

Your face looks amazing. What are you doing to your own skin?

AC: I’m very conservative and believe you should still look like yourself, just well-rested. My personal maintenance includes:

🤌 Botox: I do small “maintenance” sprinkles every four months to prevent deep lines from forming.

🤌 Diligent skincare: I never skip my evening retinoid or my daily mineral SPF 50. Consistency is more effective than any single procedure.

🤌 Conservative filler: I use filler in the lips, chin, and temples maybe once a year or even less frequently. “Conservative” here means restoring lost volume to maintain structural balance, rather than “augmenting” or changing the fundamental shape of my features.

🤌 BroadBand Light (BBL): I do this 2–3 times a year. BBL is a high-intensity light therapy that targets pigment (sun spots) and redness. It essentially “cleans up” accumulated sun damage and boosts collagen to keep the skin tone even and bright.

Anything else we should know?

AC: I want patients to feel informed and cared for, not sold to. My philosophy is simple. Offer treatments that truly work, say no when something doesn’t make sense, and respect the trust people place in you when it comes to their eyes and face.

So… which type of beauty or aesthetics expert should we interview next?

Leave a comment

xx,
Lauren

P.S. If you found the advice helpful in this post, please heart the button at the bottom, leave a comment, or send me a message with what resonated.

Last week, I walked into Ora Space’s downtown NYC location a hot mess. Sure, I looked fine — polished, in fact — wearing my favorite brown leather pants, cream cardigan, and a fur vest. Internally, I was stressed (2026 has already been…a lot), puffy, sleep-deprived, and nursing a tension headache above my left eye.

I was there to test Ora Space’s new 50-minute LED gua sha facial, and I left feeling (and looking!) like a different person. Post-facial Lauren was glistening with moisture, sculpted, relaxed, and pain-free.

Let’s rewind.

This was my first visit to Ora Space, a NYC wellness studio that sits at the intersection of an acupuncture clinic and a modern spa. There are two locations, NoHo and the Upper East Side, and I would be thrilled if they opened one in Westchester or lower Connecticut. I’m already plotting my return.

Kimberly Ross, a Harvard Business School grad and mom to two young girls (ages two and four), founded Ora after experiencing the healing benefits of acupuncture. I’ve been down the acupuncture rabbit hole since my fertility days and still go regularly (story for another time). Since launching in 2020, Ora has expanded beyond acupuncture to include cupping, facials, and wellness treatments. Most recently, it launched its first product: an LED gua sha tool.

Here’s where I come in.

I was invited to test the tool at home and then experience it in a professional facial at Ora. Through all my years in beauty editorial, I can honestly say I’ve never seen a tool like this — one that combines LED light therapy and gua sha in a single device.

LED is a gentle light therapy that uses red and near-infrared wavelengths to calm inflammation, boost collagen, and make a complexion appear brighter, smoother, and glowier.

Gua sha is a smooth tool (often stone) used to glide over the face to de-puff, move fluid out, and subtly sculpt.

The LED gua sha tool combines these two concepts in a sculpting tool that delivers light-therapy benefits. It also vibrates, adding another layer of lymphatic stimulation. Kimberly designed it with busy women in mind. “It’s the one thing you can use if you don’t have much time,” she said. The tool shuts off after 10 minutes, so you know exactly when you’re done.

After being handed a signature turmeric tea and taking in the space (modern, neutral, soft lighting), I was whisked away by my esthetician, Cynthia. A cushioned treatment table flanked by thoughtful design elements (a chic mirror, pretty hooks, etc.) made the room feel calming and serene rather than clinical.

The real star of the show was the facial.

Cynthia was knowledgeable about all things skincare and pressure points as she is also a licensed acupuncturist. After coating my skin with Ora’s toning gel, which provides the ideal amount of slip for the tool, she got to work using the LED gua sha on me for 20 blissful minutes. She started at the back of my neck to stimulate lymph nodes, then moved up through my hairline (offering a natural brow lift), jawline, face, and décolleté. It was rhythmic, methodical, and deeply relaxing.

As we know, I’m pretty deep in the funnel when it comes to facial massages. I love warm, magic hands working every inch of my face. This felt different — in a good way. The vibration, the smooth and textured sides of the tool, and the gentle warmth from the LED created a soothing, effective treatment that lifted, brightened, and calmed my skin all at once.

Then came the slugging.

After the sculpting, Cynthia layered on serious hydration. And it wasn’t just my face — she layered it down my neck, chest, and out to my hands. First, she applied a nourishing sheet mask, with a beaded eye pillow on top, followed by a hyaluronic acid serum, face mist, cream, and oil. Calling myself “buttered up” was an understatement. My skin looked glassy and glossed.

All of the puffiness? Drained. Tension headache? Gone (I hadn’t taken a single painkiller). Eyes brighter. Smile lines softened. Skin dewy as ever. (Mind you, this was during the week in NYC when the weather was in the single digits with wind chill.) It felt amazing to give my skin and nervous system what it craved. I watched my editor friends walk out of their treatments — one by one — glowing, shoulders noticeably dropped.

If you can’t make it to Ora Space for the facial, or you’re more of an at-home beauty aficionado, the LED gua sha tool is available to buy. It comes with a charging station and a chic little travel pouch.

To answer your next question: Is LED worth it or total BS? From the dermatologists I’ve interviewed over the years, the takeaway is consistent: it works if you actually do it. Think three to 10 minutes, most nights of the week. For me, the LED gua sha is something I’ll actually keep using.

What should I try next? A few of you have mentioned full-body lymphatic drainage…

Leave a comment

xx,
Lauren

In my head, Leah Wiseman Fink is Tina Fey. Not the actress, but rather her character, Ms. Sharon Norbury in Mean Girls — the calm, sharp adult who walks into chaos and somehow makes everyone act normal. When my friends, from New York to Florida, open up about adult group dynamics and mom cliques, it feels like we’re all living different versions of the same storyline. I picture Leah coming in as the friendship mama bear to gently set us straight.

Leah has the authority to speak to the topic of interpersonal relationships. She’s a successful NYC coach, and for several years, she was my coach. I initially hired her for career guidance, but it soon stretched far beyond the workplace. Back then, I had just finished breastfeeding, with a one-year-old and a three-year-old, and was still new to the suburbs. Well, let’s clarify — after a decade and a half in the city, I moved back to my hometown. It was new…it was old.

At times, it felt like I was in middle school again (which is especially meta when you’re literally back in the town where you had your locker). My hormones were raging post-weaning, I was overwhelmed, and I needed help managing the big feelings. Enter scene: Leah.

The work we did was transformative. There were affirmations (I know it sounds woo-woo, but it worked), she taught me to loosen my grip on perfectionism, and she cheered me on until I could hear my own voice again. Eventually, she pointed out that I was coaching myself. It was all clicking.

Last year, she expanded beyond one-to-one coaching and launched The Spark Society, an invite-only women’s community in NYC. “I built it to get the right people in the room — not to create a huge group, but to help people meet and form real relationships,” Leah says. It works. I recently met another “Sparkler,” a magazine editor who also moved back to her hometown (how perfect?), and our first lunch went so well we grabbed coffee after (hi Maura!).

Somewhere along the way, I went from being the person asking everyone else how to handle friendship drama… to being the person people come to. Recently, Leah and I sat down to revisit the lessons she taught me — many that I still rely on today. If you’ve ever spiraled over a group chat, a party invite, or a “wait, are we still friends?” moment, this is for you.

When the Group Chat Blows Up

Lauren: How relatable is this Ashley Tisdale essay that broke the internet?

Leah: You might be surprised by my answer because I’m not on her side! She was blaming the group for being mean when she was the one who felt like she wasn’t the right fit and pulled herself out. People hanging out together without everyone is perfectly healthy. Talking shit, on the other hand, is a sign of mean girl behavior. Sometimes relationships, especially group ones, just run their course.

Lauren: We’ve all been there — part of a tight-knit group chat that is so on… until it’s not. What do you do when the group chat blows up?

Leah: When a group chat breaks up, it can be really painful. We put a lot into them. Who’s the first person you tell when won an award or your kid throws up all over you? Often it’s a group chat. It can be a huge loss when the group chat dissolves.

Lauren: What can be hard is when there’s a subgroup that still exists. People should hang out without you — I believe that — but when you’re the one on the outside (the Ashley Tisdale), you can feel it.

Learning Not to Take It Personally

Leah: It goes back to not caring what people think or do, which you and I both know is a huge practice.

Lauren: Who would’ve thought three years later we’d be co-creating a Substack post, and I’d be the inspiration? I’m dead.

Leah: You’re actually better at this than Ashley Tisdale. Our healthiest selves can separate our true selves from an invitation. We want to be included (that’s human), but not everyone is good at dealing with those feelings when they come up.

Lauren: Mainly, you taught me this very important statement: if someone doesn’t like me, it’s not my problem (I was even featured in your Substack about this!).

Leah: Someone wrote me back from that Substack and was like, “But everyone likes you.” They don’t! Not everybody likes me.

Lauren: That was like hearing there’s no Tooth Fairy.

Leah: It’s almost training yourself to not care. In our more tired and vulnerable moments, we may care more. We’re human after all. But we have to remember that our own energy, including the energy to care, is finite.

Lauren: When those thoughts creep in, and you’re trying to strengthen the “not caring” muscle, what can you do?

Leah: Catch the thought, visualize throwing it out, and replace it with what’s true. Remind yourself: I have tons of friends and more offers than I have time for. Replace negative, toxic thoughts with positive, accurate ones.

The Joy of Having No Plans

Lauren: My biggest change in 2026 is how much I’m enjoying not having plans. On New Year’s Eve, we canceled our attendance at a party after a long travel day (we were spent). In the past, I’d have major FOMO (not be in the photos!) and push us to go out. But we had a party the next day, and I wanted to conserve my energy. I enjoyed it so much more.

Leah: That’s another practice. You know we’re our best selves when we’re setting boundaries and conserving our energy. We can show up better for one-on-one friendships, the group, our families (both immediate and extended), and work.

Lauren: Sometimes it’s easier said than done.

Leah: There will be times — whether it’s due to human nature or feeling worn down — when we just want attention. Even when we’re our best and healthiest selves, we slip up. There’s a party, dinner, or vacation that you’re left out of and feel like, “ugh.”

Making Friends As an Adult

Lauren: When I wrote my New Year’s post about not caring what people think, I was clear that there are exceptions. It’s not about never caring; it’s about not obsessing. When it comes to female dynamics, what are you hearing from your coaching clients?

Leah: Let’s talk about the positives first. I’ve experienced that in tough moments, the way women rally for each other can be incredibly beautiful. Especially in the city, where many of us don’t have family nearby, we create our own villages — bringing meals, helping with kids, and showing up so no one feels alone. When my kids were babies, we had weekly Friday happy hours, and for years, I’ve hosted a Sunday Night Dinner. You really can build a village if you want to.

Lauren: What are some things that people complain about?

Leah: Loneliness is a big one. People want friends who feel like family, but don’t know where to start. If it doesn’t come naturally, it can feel really hard. And that brings us back to group dynamics. Maybe you find a group, it works for a while… and then it doesn’t.

Friendship Is Fluid

Lauren: How do we get better at managing expectations with friends?

Leah: Each of your friends doesn’t have to be for everything. Some friends are fun to dress up with and go out on a Saturday night, others you call when you have a problem, and some are great for work advice. Don’t try to make every friend everything.

Lauren: One of the lessons you taught me is that friendship is fluid. Before moving to the suburbs, I had the same friends forever, from high school through college and work.

Leah: Friendships also have seasons. I’ve had friends for decades, and there are times we’re incredibly close, and times we’re not — often because of life or location. The key is not overanalyzing or clinging too tightly and letting friendships be fluid. If they change in a certain season, let them be what they are. If they come back, that’s a beautiful thing. And if they don’t, you have other things to spend your time and energy on.

Lauren: Another Leah-ism is that when you drift away from a friend and then come back together, that can be the 2.0 or 3.0 version of a friendship. The expectations and trust may be different, but it’s still a great version. Long-term friendships can evolve.

You Don’t Have to Like Everyone

Leah: The first thing is the realization and admission to yourself that you don’t like everyone, and therefore, not everyone has to like you. That’s it. The end.

Lauren: There’s the red, yellow, green scale. Part of me doesn’t want to share it, but I think we have to.

Leah: The red, yellow, green technique is an internal scale for how much you actually like someone. Green means you really like them and want to invest time and energy there. Red is when you get the “ick.” And that’s okay; being honest about it helps you handle it when the feeling is mutual. Yellow is the middle ground: an acquaintance you’re happy to see at drop-off or the coffee shop. The goal is to avoid over-investing in reds and yellows, and to make sure you’re fully showing up for your greens.

Lauren: It comes down to not obsessing over which micro-group chats you’re not in and focusing on the greens.

Leah: The only thing you can control is putting your love, attention, and friendship eggs in the baskets of the greens.

Find the People Who Make You Feel Sparkly

Lauren: It connects to your idea of surrounding yourself with people who make you feel sparkly.

Leah: “Sparkly” really is such a good word. [Yes, reader, it partially inspired the name Spark Society.] It’s about paying attention to how you actually feel after an interaction. When you’re deciding if someone is red, yellow, or green, ask yourself: Do I feel sparkly, happy, and light around this person?

Lauren: For me, feeling sparkly means being myself — funny, silly, a little quirky. If I’m watching what I say too carefully around someone, I know I’m not feeling like my relaxed, sparkly self. That realization made it much easier to let things go. I love the way you taught me to frame it: find where you feel sparkly and stay there.

Leah: Lately, I’ve been noticing this, too: Some friends just make you feel calm. You can be hyped up or upset, and after a few minutes in each other’s presence, they steady you. That’s something worth paying attention to.

Lauren: You make me feel calm. On our first coaching call, you said, “I’m going to take the anxious energy out of the room,” and you did. I’ve needed you in my life ever since.

Leah: I have no real evidence, but I do think there’s something about energy and pheremones, like how we regulate each other. You can feel it if you pay attention.

Most Things Aren’t About You

Lauren: You also told me this gem: everyone is always thinking about themselves.

Leah: When we assume someone is mad at us or that we’ve done something wrong, it’s often not true. Most people are busy, wrapped up in their own lives and worries. Even when they leave you out or don’t respond, it’s usually not personal — you may just not be on their radar. That goes both ways.

Lauren: It’s hard not to have Main Character Energy. But there is also “good” Main Character Energy, like when I’m so involved in my own life and what I’m doing that I’m not paying attention to whether I’m in other people’s storylines. And knowing ultimately, as you always say, the right friendships will fall into place. How do you trust The Universe?

Leah: It’s trusting The Universe and just knowing that sometimes there’s nothing you can do. Putting more pressure on a relationship definitely doens’t make it go faster or make you closer. The best thing we can do is just let things be. Put in the effort, spend the time, and then just sit back and watch how it all plays out. Or go on a walk.

Lauren: Why is that pause so important?

Leah: Because you’re not trying to control what’s happening or other people. You’re not trying to make anyone like you or be someone you’re not. You’re just being exactly who you are and letting things unfold.

Lauren: And find those people who make you feel sparkly!

Leah: Always.

P.S. Leah is quietly opening a small number of 1:1 coaching spots this spring. If you want to learn more about working together, reach out here.

P.P.S. If you’re reading this, you’re a green. 💚 (Obviously.)

Have a friend who needs to hear this advice? Share this newsletter with them. And if this resonated, please heart the button below. My inbox and DMs are always open.

Then I had kids, and the holiday took on an entirely new meaning.

Now Valentine’s Day is about planning a Mommy-and-me celebration for my four-year-old and her friends (this year: cookie decorating), helping my kindergartener create cards for her class, and, if I’m lucky, squeezing in a date night. Watching the holiday through their eyes is pure joy — they’re genuinely thrilled by hearts, pink things, and the simple idea of celebrating love.

One thing I’ll always appreciate about old-school magazines is a themed gift guide. So this year, I’m leaning in by making a proper moment out of Valentine’s Day and sharing my personal wish list.

To earn a Chef’s Kiss, each gift had to meet a few standards:

• Something I already own and love, or am actively lusting after

• Lean into the Valentine’s Day vibe (hearts, reds, pinks)

• Created by a Jewish founder I admire or a brand I genuinely like and trust

The 2026 Chef’s Kiss Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

🤌 I wear these Alexa Leigh gold hoops so often, I’m ready to buy a second pair. They’re lightweight and go with everything from an athleisure tracksuit to a dress. If you’re reading this, Michael, I’ve had my eye on this customizable letter necklace for years.

🤌 My girls are obsessed with kids’ accessories brand, Super Smalls, created by a former magazine accessories editor turned designer, Maria Dueñas Jacobs. The gems are so chic, I’ve been known to borrow them from my daughters. Don’t be surprised if you see me around town with this lip balm beading kit or this heart-shaped bag.

🤌 For my daughters’ various festivities, I need a sweater that’s a vibe like this cozy cardigan (you need to see the buttons!) or this heart-textured cardigan.

🤌 Everyone’s favorite sweater set comes in baby pink (pants and top), and it’s selling fast, so nab it while you can. Also digging this pointelle lounge set featuring a long-sleeve top and soft pants in the same ‘90s bubble gum hue.

🤌 LoveShackFancy’s Rebecca Hessel Cohen knows how to make the whimsical print of Valentine’s Day dreams, including this 100-percent cotton, kiss-print bathrobe and headband. The best part: you can match with your mini.

🤌 A red-hot Jonathan Adler mahjong set — need I say more?

🤌 I own a gold heart pendant on a leather cord, similar to this Jennifer Fisher one, and it’s my favorite layering piece.

🤌 Don’t show up empty-handed to your kids’ Valentine’s Day soiree — nab a mini cupcake Love Box from Baked by Melissa, created by Melissa Ben-Ishay.

🤌 Through the years, I’ve collected my fair share of Rebecca Minkoff pouches that I use both as a clutch and an inner bag organizer.

🤌 Everyone’s favorite preppy little Polo bag in a luxe, suede ruby hue.

🤌 If you’re into wearing neutrals (you know who you are), this workout top and leggings feature a subtle pink piping — a thoughtful detail by Terez designer, Zara Terez Tisch.

🤌 Designer shoes, such as these burgundy Tory Burch smoking slippers, or these Stuart Weitman dusty pink pumps, are the perfect indulgent gift to give yourself.

🤌 Finally frame your fall family photos in this Michael Aram stunner.

🤌 You know how fussy I am with lip products, and I can confidently say this trio of GOOP balms hit both the hydration and sheer color notes.

🤌 I’m a BYOP (Bring Your Own Polish) kinda salon girl, especially for pedis — it’s more hygienic, and I find it lasts longer. Once you try this glossy, long-lasting Chanel red, you’ll never go back.

🤌 Currently testing this LED face mask and loving the subtle, skin-brightening results.

🤌 Last December, I got my first Hotel Lobby candle by editor-turned-entrepreneur, Lindsay Silberman, and the scent inspired by NYC’s Fifth Avenue is high on my need-it list.

🤌 Another beauty category I’m picky about is fragrance. This gorgeous hair fragrance offers a trifecta of heat protection, shine, and scent (a mix of vanilla and jasmine).

🤌 When I’m wearing perfume, it’s typically a mix of Glossier You (the genius fragrance created by Emily Weiss that changes depending on who’s wearing it) or Chanel No. 5 L’eau (the lighter version of the iconic scent).

Sending this newsletter with extra love this week.

Tell me: what’s on your Valentine’s Day gift wish list?

xx, Lauren

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