Nonfiction publishers tend to drop new books right before the holidays and New Year. Here are some of the most exciting nonfiction books coming out this September through November.

September 1

Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best by

I loved Duckworth’s first book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. She returns with a book about how much our surroundings influence personality and performance. Duckworth’s work as a researcher and psychologist gives her plenty of ammunition to load up her books with compelling insights.

Profits, Prophets, Coaches, and Kings: (When) Do Leaders Matter? by Jared Diamond

Diamond’s earlier book Guns, Germs, and Steel sold millions of copies and won a Pulitzer in 1998. Now Diamond turns his focus to leadership, trying to determine whether the actions of individuals shape history as much as we think.

53 Days: How Hitler Dismantled a Democracy by Timothy W. Ryback

Adolf Hitler converted Germany’s constitutional democracy into an authoritarian state in a mere 53 days. This book unearths how he did it—offering a cautionary tale for all of us who want to preserve humanity and decency in the world today.

The Castle: Adventures in a World of Unraveling Men by

It’s been 11 years since Ronson’s last book. You may know him from books like The Psychopath Test and The Men Who Stare at Goats. In The Castle, he investigates what happens when men fall into conspiracies and toxicity. One of my favorite writers, Patrick Radden Keefe, said this of Ronson’s new book: “Fantastic and intensely of-the-moment…It’s a dogged feat of investigation from one of our greatest non-fiction storytellers.”

September 8

Plot Twist: Life, Craft, and the Messy First Draft: A Memoir on Writing by Harlan Coben

Coben has been writing mysteries and thrillers for decades and has 100 million books in print. And now, he’s pulling back the covers on his writing process in this book that’s described as 1/2 memoir, 1/2 storytelling masterclass.

→ See a list of my favorite writing advice books here

September 15

Protocols: An Operating Manual for the Human Body by Andrew Huberman

I didn’t even know Huberman’s name until a year or two ago, then it seemed like he was suddenly everywhere. His podcast Huberman Lab has become the world’s leading health podcast, and now he’s coming out with his first book on how to improve physical and mental health.

The Perilous Fight by Colin Kaepernick

Kaepernick’s life changed forever when he took a knee during the national anthem of an NFL game on September 1, 2016. I’m not going to dive into the politics of that decision in this post, but I admire anyone willing to take a principled stand like that. In this memoir, Kaepernick explores what led him to that decision, along with his experience growing up as a Black man in America.

Live Laugh Love: The Secret History of White Christian Women and the World They Made by Kristin Kobes Du Mez

Du Mez’s earlier book Jesus and John Wayne is a hard-hitting book about masculinity and militarism in the American church. It’s one of the books that helped me understand why religion is now closely connected with politics. Her new book dives into the evangelical view of femininity, consumerism, and prosperity.

Simplify: Do 50 Percent More with 50 Percent Less by Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz

VandeHei, Allen, and Schwartz co-founded the media company Axios, which gained a fast following with short and impactful articles. The founders call their writing style “smart brevity” and wrote a book of the same name to help business leaders communicate simply and powerfully. Now the trio is back with a book about how to eliminate distractions and identify important tasks that will move the needle.

Subscribe now

September 29

The American Way of Killing by Malcolm Gladwell

Gladwell conducted a six-part series on gun violence in his podcast Revisionist History. Now he’s expanding that research into an entire book about what sets America’s lethal violence apart from other nations (and what can be done about it).

The Steps by Sylvester Stallone

When I first watched the movie Rocky as a teenager, I didn’t realize that Stallone wrote the script himself. I became much more interested in Stallone and his work after I learned that. In The Steps, he unpacks his difficult upbringing and what eventually helped him break through in Hollywood. I just rewatched the Rocky and Creed movie series to prepare for reading this memoir. (Yep, I’m a total nerd.) Btw, there’s also an interesting movie coming out in November about the making of Rocky. Trailer below.

September 30

Work with the Best: How to Get the Life You Want by Helping Those Who Have It by

Jay’s earlier book You Can Just Do Things is full of advice on how to live a “permissionless life.” This follow-up book goes deeper into how to partner with incredible people. Jay is the perfect guy to write this book because he landed jobs with entrepreneurs like Alex Hormozi and Noah Kagan by helping them—not submitting an application. To support Jay’s launch and get cool bonuses, check out his Kickstarter.

October 6

Blockers: Rebels in the Deep State by Michael Lewis

Lewis brought readers into the secret worlds of FTX, Major League Baseball, Wall Street, subprime mortgages, and high-frequency trading. Now he’s invaded the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) to get the inside scoop from public servants about what happened in Trump’s and Musk’s task force.

The New Dark Ages: The Death of Reading and the Dawn of the Post-Literate Society by

Marriott is one of my favorite writers on Substack. He’s a thoughtful journalist who’s not afraid to take contrarian opinions or totally nerd out on his passion areas (like literature and the arts). Marriott’s debut book explores how the decline of literacy could impact our world.

Once Upon a Trainwreck: The Fall and Rise of a Child Star by

Growing up, one of my favorite shows was the Disney comedy Even Stevens. The show introduced the world to goofy young Shia LaBeouf, and Christy Carlson Romano played Shia’s older sister Ren, one of my childhood crushes. But what I didn’t know at the time was Romano’s life behind the camera included exploitation, bullying, and addiction. Similar to Jennette McCurdy’s breakout memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died, this promises to be a sad yet enlightening read about the costs of childhood fame.

October 13

Vibe: The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World by

Ever wonder why you click with certain people but not with others? Adam Grant wondered that too, so he did what Grant does better than anyone: researched the crap out of that question, then distilled his insights into a relatable book. I’ve read all of Grant’s work, and it’s all amazing, so I already pre-ordered Vibe.

November 10

Look at Me by Dustin Hoffman

Hoffman has been a Hollywood star for nearly 60 years. Chances are, you’ve seen him in films like Rain Man, The Graduate, Hook, or Kramer vs. Kramer. His characters have told countless stories on the big screen, but this November, he’s sharing more about his own story in what his publisher calls “an intimate memoir about art, ambition, family, friendship, love, aging, and the mysteries of a creative life.”

The Law of the Sublime by Robert Greene

Greene is known for his prodigious research and thick tomes on topics like power, war, seduction, and human nature. This book sounds like it will be the most philosophical of his work: trying to nail down the squishy concept of personal meaning and connection with the universe.

I included an affiliate link from Bookshop.org for each book. If you purchase a book, you’ll support me and local bookstores. (Win-win!)

What other nonfiction releases are you excited about? Let me know in the comments!

Trying to teach a colleague how to set up an Excel spreadsheet, reconcile a bank account, or store inventory properly in your stockroom?

It’s easy to fall into one of two negative extremes when teaching people new tasks:

1. Holding their hand for too long and not trusting them to take over the task

2. Pushing them into the deep end too fast without providing adequate support

After eight years in learning & development (L&D), I’ve found a simple but effective model to strike the right balance between supporting team members and not micromanaging a task for too long.

I call the model “Shadow/Steer/Solo.” Here’s how it works:

1. Shadow: First, let the other person watch you perform the task. Talk them through the basics while executing a real-world example.

2. Steer: Now, let them take the steering wheel and perform the task. Stick around to watch them and provide feedback.

3. Solo: Once you’ve watched the team member execute the task correctly once or twice, you can step away and trust that they’ll perform the work at a high level.

Occasionally, you’ll witness this training model in action somewhere like a restaurant.

For example, my wife and I recently visited the kitschy, witchy town of Salem, Massachusetts just before Halloween. One night we ate at a Mediterranean restaurant, and after the host seated us, two servers came over to take our order. The first server stumbled over his words as he made small talk.

Another server lurked behind him and stepped in to help when we asked a couple of questions about the menu that the first server didn’t know. This second server exhibited the smooth conversational skills that come with years of speaking to strangers every night.

The second server was training the first one, and they were apparently in the “Steer” stage of Shadow/Steer/Solo.

Restaurants have used training models like this successfully for years. But regardless of your company’s industry, you can use a similar model to train your team members.

This model's power is its simplicity. The leaders I’ve coached have found it to be memorable, intuitive, and easy to use.

The next time you’re trying to teach someone how to do something like fill out an expense report, create a project plan, or write a sales outreach email, give the Shadow/Steer/Solo model a spin.

Do you know how long it takes the average person to feel uncomfortable with silence?

Four seconds.

That’s what three Dutch researchers found back in 2010. Four seconds was enough to “make one feel distressed, afraid, hurt, and rejected.”

Many inexperienced communicators and leaders rush to fill those awkward silences with something — anything—to make themselves feel less uncomfortable.

After reading about this four-second threshold years ago, I began to court the limits of my discomfort and embrace silence. As a learning & development (L&D) director, I’ve now gotten to practice the skill of silence hundreds of times in the virtual meetings and trainings I facilitate.

My colleagues now joke that I love awkward silences and can sit in them for longer than anyone else. And they’re not wrong.

I use the opportunity to take a sip of water, think about what I’m going to say next, and look at the faces on my Zoom screen to try to read their emotions. The silence is a gift.

The Benefits of Silence

I’ve learned that silence offers numerous benefits, including the following:

1. Silence offers necessary space for people to think.

“Silence is a great canvas for your thoughts. That vacuum helps turn all of your inputs into output. That lack of interruption helps you flow.” -Derek Sivers

Many times, I’ve had to stop myself from breaking the awkward silence — only to be pleasantly surprised a few seconds later when someone shares a fresh insight I had never considered. Those extra few seconds can be the difference between a bad idea and a good idea.

If you’re discussing a complex topic, people need time to think. But too often (especially at work), we don’t give people that necessary time.

By holding a few more seconds of silence, you can unlock better insights in those around you. Remember, silence is not a bad thing. Silence is the noise thinking makes.

2. In virtual meetings, silence allows attendees to unmute their mics.

“An expert on speaking also knows when not to.” -Archimedes

How many times have you been on a virtual call and noticed that someone unmuted their mic right as the facilitator began talking again?

Unfortunately, I see that happen all the time. It’s a signal that the group probably missed out on a key insight just because the facilitator couldn’t wait long enough.

Whenever you lead a meeting, try to mentally account for the fact that it takes people at least a few seconds to come up with what they want to say and another few seconds to unmute their mic (if it’s a virtual meeting). Rather than caving at the four-second mark like most mortals, challenge yourself to hold out for eight to ten seconds. If no one talks after ten seconds, they may truly have nothing to say.

3. You can use the awkwardness of silence to your advantage.

“Silence is the ultimate weapon of power.” -Charles de Gaulle

Now that I know most people feel awkward after four seconds of silence, I use silence as a tool to get people to speak up. I can out-wait anyone, so if I’m facilitating a meeting, I let the silence work to my advantage until someone speaks up.

This often helps flush out ideas from people who don’t normally speak up — including some introverts who decide they’ll fill the void if no one else will.

How to Lean into Silence

These practical tips have helped me embrace silence as a meeting tool:

• As a facilitator, the language you use implies whether you expect people will speak up. Avoid prompts like “Does anyone have anything to say?” which indicate you’re unsure if anyone wants to speak up.

• Instead, imply that multiple people will want to share, like “Who wants to share their idea first?” or “Who has thoughts they want to share?” (Sales reps call this type of language “assuming the sale.”) That sets the expectation for the group, and people tend to live up to that expectation.

• When waiting for others to share, mute your mic. Doing so signals that you’re not planning to speak until others have spoken.

• Take a sip of your coffee or water. This type of action also subtly reinforces that you’re okay with waiting for a while.

• Call out the awkwardness. On calls, I often joke that I’m comfortable sitting in the discomfort. I tell people I’ll outwait them, and they know I mean it, so they speak up. You can do the same.

The next time you lead a discussion, tap into the power of silence. It will help unlock the group’s best ideas and encourage more people to speak up.

Silence is a superpower — if you know how to use it.

I’ve collected thousands of quotes over the past 10+ years.

Here are the best ones I’ve found about hard work...

“I will prepare and some day my chance will come.” -Abraham Lincoln

“People don’t reach their potential on accident. The secret to success can be found in people’s daily agendas.” -John Maxwell

“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” -Jerzy Gregorek

“Let us run the risk of wearing out rather than rusting out.” -Teddy Roosevelt

“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On!’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” -Calvin Coolidge

“I’ve never really viewed myself as particularly talented. Where I excel is ridiculous, sickening work ethic.” -Will Smith

“Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.” -Louis Pasteur

”We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” -Aristotle

“I’m convinced that about half of what separates the most successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.” -Steve Jobs

“Everyone who strives to reach his potential must pay a price—in time, effort, resources, and opportunities missed. Many people fail to pay the price that their potential demands.” -John Maxwell

“Victory awaits him who has everything in order—luck, people call it.” -Roald Amundsen

“From my experience, the most common trait you will consistently observe in accomplished people is an obsession with completion. Once a project falls into their horizon, they crave almost compulsively, to finish it.” -Cal Newport

“Be very suspicious of shortcuts, in life and in art.” -Ryan Holiday

“Champions aren’t made in the ring, they are merely recognized there.” -Joe Frazier

“Doing the work is what makes you look like an overnight success ten years later.” -Kathleen Shannon and Emily Thompson

“Luck is a word people who are lazy use to describe people who are hustling.” -Jon Acuff

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” -Attributed to Robert Louis Stevenson

“Far and away, the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” -Teddy Roosevelt

“Hard work is a talent because hard work means that you keep going, you keep fighting, you know how not to quit under pressure even if you fail.” -Garry Kasparov

“Dreams are lovely but they are dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It’s hard work that makes things happen. It’s hard work that creates change.” -Shonda Rhimes

“If I miss one day of practice, I notice it. If I miss two days, the critics notice it. If I miss three days, the audience notices it.” -Attributed to multiple pianists, including Franz Liszt and Ignacy Jan Paderewski

“If people knew how hard I worked to achieve my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful after all.” -Michelangelo

“Everything worthwhile is uphill.” -John Maxwell

“All of your dreams are on the other side of pain and difficulty.” -Will Smith

“Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have lies in this: when I have a subject in hand, I study it profoundly.” -Alexander Hamilton

“Nobody said being great would be easy.” -Wayne Gretzky

“The greatest breakthroughs are missed because they look like really hard work.” -Kevin Kelly

“The plain fact remains that men the world over possess amounts of resource, which only very exceptional individuals push to their extremes of use.” -William James

“The more you sweat, the less you bleed.” -Idea from General Norman Schwarzkopf

Subscribe now

“There are a lot of people out there who are happy to give ten percent, but I don’t know any of them. I don’t know their names because they don’t have any books.” -David Sedaris

“There are no easy paths that are also worthwhile.” -Joel Primus

“Do not whine...do not complain. Work harder. Spend more time alone.” -Joan Didion

“There’s no talent here, this is hard work. This is an obsession. Talent does not exist, we are all equal as human beings. You could be anyone if you put in the time. You will reach the top, and that is that. I am not talented, I am obsessed.” -Conor McGregor

“Work like there is someone working 24 hours a day to take it all away from you.” -Mark Cuban

“Everyone who’s ever taken a shower has an idea. It’s the person who gets out of the shower, dries off, and does something about it who makes a difference.” -Norman Bushnell

“Ideas are cheap...The difference between a great work and an idea for a great work is all the sweat, time, effort, and agony that go into engaging that idea and turning it into something real. That difference is not trivial. If great work were easy to produce, a lot more people would do it.” -Ryan Holiday

“Lots of people want to be the noun (writer, entrepreneur, etc.) without doing the verb (writing, inventing, etc.).” -Austin Kleon

“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time.” -Joe Girardi

“The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things you got it on me in nine categories. But if we get on the treadmill together, there’s two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple, right?” -Will Smith

“The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses—behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.” -Muhammad Ali

“Write your own part. It is the only way I’ve gotten anywhere. It’s much harder work, but sometimes you have to take destiny into your own hands.” -Mindy Kaling

“When people say God blessed me with a beautiful jump shot it really pisses me off. I tell those people, ‘Don’t undermine the work I’ve put in every day.’ Not some days. Every day. Ask anyone who has been on a team with me who shoots the most. Go back to Seattle and Milwaukee, and ask them. The answer is me.” -Ray Allen

“When we sit down day after day and keep grinding, something mysterious starts to happen. A process is set into motion by which, inevitably and infallibly, heaven comes to our aid. Unseen forces enlist in our cause; serendipity reinforces our purpose.” -Steven Pressfield

“You know what I did after I wrote my first novel? I shut up and wrote twenty-three more.” -Michael Connelly

“Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.” -John Wooden

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it—but all that had gone before.” -Jacob Riis

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” -Teddy Roosevelt

A decade ago, I was tasked with converting some of our company’s oldest, stubbornest clients to upgrade from our old “1.0” software-as-a-service (SaaS) product to what my colleagues and I jokingly called the “new hotness” — our “2.0” product.

There was no question—the 2.0 product was WAY better than 1.0. The user interface was better. The software was faster. And it could do countless things the old product couldn’t do.

But as I began talking to my clients about the new hotness, they didn’t seem as stoked about it as I was. I heard many demoralizing responses:

• “Do we really have to move to 2.0?”

• “I don’t want to have to learn something new.”

• “I’ve built all my processes and Excel macros around the old software. I don’t care if the new one is better. The old one works.”

My company had a vested interest in getting all clients onto the 2.0 product. The old version was buggy, and we didn’t want to waste resources troubleshooting and updating both versions. Plus, we knew the 2.0 version could do many things 1.0 couldn’t, and we planned to “sunset” the old version soon.

Around this time, my boss Scott asked the customer service reps what script we were using to convince clients to move to the new hotness.

For many of us, our email outreach to clients looked something like this:

“Dear client, we’re excited to announce that we’ve released the 2.0 version of our product. We’d like to move you over to this new version so you can benefit from all of its new features. We’ll also be sunsetting the 1.0 product soon, so we need to move your team over to 2.0. Let me know when would be the best time for me to train you and your team on the new product.”

Scott read our email drafts, then gave us a lesson I won’t soon forget.

“Our clients won’t make this switch if you send an email like that,” he said. “They don’t care what is better or easier for us. They only care about what’s better for them. Every time you send someone a message, you need to realize they’re going to ask themselves one question: ‘What’s in it for me?’”

Scott explained that WIIFM is the driving motivation behind any action someone takes.

• No prospect will sign a deal just because it’ll help you hit your quarterly sales quota.

• No client will switch to the 2.0 version just because you want to deprecate the 1.0 version.

• No employee will fill out their health insurance form just because HR needs to mark their name off a list of outstanding paperwork.

At our core, we’re all self-interested creatures. Doing something new requires effort, and each of us is only willing to expend effort if we expect to get some benefit that’s worth more than the energy we put in.

Understanding this concept helped me reframe the emails I sent to clients to focus more on their needs rather than my needs.

Let’s look again at the old version of the email to see what was wrong. But this time, we’ll read it through the lens of what the client may be thinking:

Notice how much of the language is phrased from my perspective (or my company’s) rather than the client’s perspective. Instead of leading with how the client would benefit, I’ve led with “me, me, me.”

But with a few slight tweaks, we can completely shift the tone of the email to make it clear how the client can benefit from this change.

Writing the email from the perspective of WIIFM creates an email that looks more like this:

“Dear client, we’re excited to announce the release of our 2.0 product. This new software comes at no extra cost to you, and it will allow you to build custom reports, automate your 10-Q and 10-K filings, and determine whether your investment portfolio is in compliance on a daily basis.

My clients who have been using 2.0 for a few months tell me the new system has saved their team 5–10 hours every month on their month-end close process. I’d love to set up some time with you next week to get you set up on the 2.0 system. Does sometime next Tuesday or Wednesday between 2–5pm MT work for you?

Any client who receives that email will clearly understand how they can benefit. The time and energy it takes to switch to the new platform will seem worthwhile based on the benefits they’ll receive.

And sure enough, after leaning into WIIFM, within a couple of months, every last one of my clients switched over to the 2.0 version — even the ones who initially didn’t want to switch.

This WIIFM concept has dynamically changed my approach to both external and internal communication.

Now, even when I send internal emails to other employees — announcing a new company training, explaining a process change, or requesting people fill out a survey — I view my communication through the lens of the person receiving the email:

What’s in it for me? How will I benefit from this?

If you begin asking that question before sending any email or request, your communication will instantly become more persuasive.

Most of us know Will Arnett as the voice behind goofy characters like Lego Batman, BoJack Horseman, and Mr. Perkins in Despicable Me.

If you’re anything like me, you probably wouldn’t expect philosophical wisdom to flow from the mouth of Lego Batman.

But Will Arnett is much deeper than his comedic work implies. When he appeared on an episode of the podcast Armchair Expert, Arnett offered this brilliant Stoic wisdom:

“You just get what you put out there. If I’m thinking about the lack of something, I get more ‘lack of’…

If you say, ‘Things are gonna be hard for me,’ then guess what? Things are gonna be hard for you…

My starting point is: I’m happy no matter what. I create my own weather. So as long as I’m happy no matter what, everything else is just kinda noise…How you feel is a direct result of what you think about. The only thing you can control is what you think about.”

“I create my own weather.” I love that.

Arnett’s life has not been free of difficulty. He battled alcoholism for years, struggled through two divorces (including one to Amy Poehler in 2016), and has dealt with several career setbacks.

And yet, he has found that his own mental forecast each day matters more than the meteorologist’s forecast. He uses meditation, relentless optimism, and focused attention to choose joy, even during difficult circumstances.

Hearing Arnett’s view on life reminds me of the work of Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist who survived several Nazi concentration camps and relayed his experiences in the book Man’s Search for Meaning.

Frankl says that one of the things that got him through the concentration camps was his determination to maintain a positive attitude.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” -Viktor Frankl

Frankl explained that we choose how we respond to others: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Example stimuli: You lose your job. Your partner walks out on you. You fail an important exam. Your best friend betrays you. Your car is stolen.

In any of these situations, the majority of humans would immediately connect the stimulus (horrible event) to a given response (horrible attitude). Anger. Confusion. Frustration. Sadness. Helplessness.

Our brains effortlessly make that connection, but Will Arnett and Viktor Frankl say our circumstances do not — or at least should not — define our behavior.

It’s our CHOICE how to respond to those situations.
There is a gap between stimulus and response.
We get to choose how to fill that gap.

“Remind yourself that the only thing you can truly control is you — and your reaction to what the world throws at you.” -Patrick M. Regan

It’s not easy to override our default response to difficult situations. When someone cuts us off in traffic, our pre-programmed human response is anger or frustration. When a key client leaves us for a competitor, it’s easy to immediately worry about the loss of revenue or bemoan the fact that the client never should have left.

To take advantage of the stimulus/response gap  (to create our own weather),  we need to become much more self-aware. We need to discipline ourselves to distinguish between what is within our control and what is not. We need to develop the character, patience, and optimism to recognize that all is not lost.

There are a multitude of things that can help us develop this meteorological mental toughness:

• Journaling

• Meditation

• Reading philosophy

• Opening ourselves to feedback and advice

• Reminding ourselves what’s within our control

Regardless of what’s happening around you today (political turmoil, civil unrest, job insecurity, etc.), you can choose how to respond. You can decide how much joy you will exhibit, how much stress you will carry with you, and how you will show up in the world today.

You can choose whether you’ll have a good day or a bad day.
You can choose your own weather.

What’s your mental forecast for today:  sunny or rainy?

I’ve trained hundreds of managers across 15 countries.

If you’re a new or aspiring manager, I have some good news for you: every new manager struggles with the same few things, so if you know those issues when you start, you’ll have a huge leg up.

Here are three secrets I wish every leader knew when they began managing their first team:

Secret #1: You shouldn’t lead the same way your boss did

It’s natural to think you need to copy the style of whatever boss(es) you had previously. But what worked for your boss almost certainly won’t work for you because you’re a different person than they are.

For example, maybe your past boss was someone who made a lot of snap judgment decisions and acted quickly. That may have worked for them, but if you’re a slow processor who prefers to evaluate decisions from every angle, you’ll never be successful if you try to copy their style.

Or if your prior manager was an assertive, top-down leader who often told the team exactly what to do, don’t feel like you need to copy their style — especially if you like to discuss ideas and build consensus before making a decision.

The only style that will never work for you is one that doesn’t align with who you are as a person. You have to find a way to lead that’s connected to your personality, your values, and your communication style.

I’ve known excellent leaders who are quiet and others who are loud. Ones who dive deep into the weeds and others who operate at a high level. Ones who are extroverted and others who are introverted.

There is no “one way” to lead. There is only your way.

And I can’t tell you what that way is because you’ll have to figure it out as you go. That’s one of the ongoing challenges of being a leader, but it’s also one of the best parts. Leadership is a process of self-exploration. The better you know yourself as a person, the better you’ll be able to lead others.

Secret #2: Everyone feels like an impostor

Nearly every leader I’ve ever trained feels like they were the wrong choice for the role. Whether they were hired directly into a managerial role from outside the company or promoted internally, most managers feel insecure.

“No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’” -Tom Hanks

When I lead workshops with new managers, we talk a lot about impostor syndrome. And whenever the topic comes up and each manager hears that all of the others also feel like a fraud, I see everyone visibly take a breath and relax. Just knowing that other leaders feel the same way makes everyone more comfortable.

So if you recently stepped into a manager role, just know that any feelings of inadequacy you have are normal. Then remind yourself that you were selected for this role for a reason. Upper management saw leadership potential in you. You were the right pick.

One of the best ways to battle impostor syndrome is to save a record of your successes. Find a way to remind yourself how awesome you are.

Personally, I keep an email folder called “Gas in the tank,” and it’s full of reminders of projects I’ve done well, kudos I’ve received from colleagues, and anything else that can boost my confidence whenever I’m feeling discouraged.

Secret #3: You can delegate way more than just tasks

Every new manager knows they’re theoretically supposed to delegate work, but most don’t know what exactly to delegate.

There are three types of work you can delegate as a leader:

1. Tasks: Individual action items or projects

2. Decisions: The judgment call on what to do in a situation

3. Meetings: Attending a group discussion and offering insight

The majority of new managers only think of option #1 when delegating work. And yes, delegating tasks is important, but it’s not the only thing you should be passing over to your team.

In addition to delegating action items and projects, you should look for decisions and meetings you can delegate.

Specifically, I train managers to use the “80% rule”: If a team member can handle a task, decision, or meeting at least 80% as well as you can, you should consider delegating it to them.

That means that if your presence in a cross-department meeting only makes the discussion 10% better and one of your teammates already attends the meeting, consider bowing out and telling them they can speak on behalf of your team.

Or, if the team needs to decide how to handle a difficult client situation and you have one or two tenured team members whom you trust, consider letting them make the judgment call.

Making decisions and handling meetings are great ways for team members to learn new things and develop leadership abilities. Look for opportunities where you can allow your team to step up and take over something.

When done correctly, delegation is a superpower. It removes work from your plate while training and developing your team members.

If you recently became a new manager or you’re aspiring to become one soon, use these three secrets to speed up your learning curve:

1. You shouldn’t lead the same way your manager did.

2. Everyone feels like an impostor.

3. You can delegate way more than just decisions.

Best of luck! I’m sure you’ll do great.

For years, I came across brilliant quotes, stories, data, and ideas that I figured I’d want to reference later, but I had no way to save them.

Months (or years) later, I’d sit down to write an article or prepare a speech, and I drove myself crazy because I knew I had heard the perfect example to include, but I couldn’t find it ANYWHERE.

So frustrating.

This is how I lived for many years, and it drove me nuts. But then, I stumbled across a helpful process called “commonplacing” that forever resolved my issue.

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, I’ll give you an overview of the basics. And if you’re already familiar with commonplacing, we can compare notes on which tactics have been most helpful.

What Is Commonplacing?

Commonplacing is the act of compiling knowledge for future reference. Countless people throughout history have created commonplace books to catalog the knowledge they’ve learned from life experience, books, mentors, and peers.

While many people use a physical book for this practice, any cataloging system can serve the same purpose: 3x5 cards, Evernote, Notion, etc.

“Scholars, amateur scientists, aspiring men of letters — just about anyone with intellectual ambition in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries was likely to keep a commonplace book. In its most customary form, ‘commonplacing,’ as it was called, involved transcribing interesting or inspirational passages from one’s reading, assembling a personalized encyclopedia of quotations.” -Steven Johnson

Who Has Used Commonplacing in the Past?

Many people throughout history have used commonplace books. The practice was widespread in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, and savvy writers and thinkers still use commonplacing today.

Marcus Aurelius (121–180 AD) kept a commonplace book that was effectively turned into the book Meditations, a core text of Stoic philosophy.

Erasmus (1466–1536) is known as the father of modern commonplacing, popularizing the concept in his book De Copia in 1512. He subdivided his book into categories of virtues and vices, like piety and fidelity.

John Locke (1632–1704) wrote an entire book about the practice: A New Method of Making Common-Place-Books. According to author Nicholas Basbanes, “Locke gave specific advice on how to arrange material by subject and category, using such key topics as love, politics, or religion. Commonplace books, it must be stressed, are not journals, which are chronological and introspective.”

Thomas Jefferson (1743–1826) kept two separate commonplace books: one for legal notes and another for literary ones. He recorded entries in English, Latin, and Greek, primarily noting favorite quotes from books he read.

E.M. Forster (1879–1970) used his commonplace book to record quotes, comments on what he was reading at the time, interesting tidbits he overheard in others’ conversations, and ideas for future novels.

Ronald Reagan (1911–2004) used a notecard system to record stories and jokes to use in speeches. “He had all this stuff he had stored up all these years — all these stories, all these anecdotes,” said Reagan’s speechwriter Ken Khachigan. “He had the Reagan library in his own little file system.”

Ryan Holiday, author of bestsellers like Ego Is The Enemy and Perennial Seller, is a famous modern proponent of commonplacing and has written about his process in blog posts.

Steven Johnson has written 11 books across a wide variety of topics, including psychology, science, and technology. Years ago, I had the chance to meet Johnson and hear him speak. He credited his prolific writing to commonplacing, saying that he records random notes and musings in a 100,000-word Google Doc.

How Can You Create a Commonplace Book?

I adapted my commonplace book from a system used by Ryan Holiday, who adapted his from bestselling author Robert Greene.

I started off using 3x5 notecards for my system, then eventually navigated over to using Obsidian. But for the purposes of this post, I’m focusing on the 3x5 card process because it’s the easiest way to understand and visualize the process.

The entire setup for my commonplace book (pictured above) cost about $20. I bought a few packages of 3x5 cards and two batches of index card dividers, then turned an old Beats by Dre headphones box into my storage container.

I use white notecards for quotes (the most common notes I save), yellow for stories, pink for ideas, and orange for research/data.

In the top left corner of each card, I label each card with a category (like “Hard Work” or “Writing”), then sort the cards by category with the 3x5 notecard dividers.

For example, when I read the book How Will You Measure Your Life?, I stumbled across this gem that I wanted to remember later:

“If you want to help other people, be a manager. If done well, management is among the most noble of professions.” -Christensen, Allworth, & Dillon

After stumbling across this quote, I wrote it on a white 3x5 card and labeled it with the category “Leadership/Management,” then filed it away in that section of my box.

Later, when I was looking for the right quote to open the first chapter of my book for new managers, I just grabbed the stack of cards about leadership and quickly found this quote. It was a perfect fit.

Why Should You Care About Commonplacing?

If you’re a teacher, author, pastor, politician, speechwriter, trainer, journalist, or any other role who frequently has to tell stories, present lectures, build presentations, or write articles, you need a way to catalog the ideas you find.

After using a commonplace book for the better part of a decade, I’ve seen time and again how necessary it is to record these ideas. Doing so allows me to access hundreds of quotes and stories I otherwise would have forgotten.

Rather than poring through marginalia in old books to find useful quotes, I have my primary notes about a topic in a common place. When I’m writing articles, this process eliminates hours of research and helps me write much faster.

For some articles, my commonplace book has cut my writing time in half. Same for some of the talks and presentations I’ve given.

Creating a commonplace book has revolutionized my writing, thinking, and speaking. I’m confident it will help you too. Give it a shot and let me know how it goes!

I’ve collected quotes for many years. My database now contains thousands of them, and every month I add the best ones I find in books, articles, newsletters, TED talks, YouTube videos, podcasts, etc.

Here are the best quotes I found this month:

“All the water in the world cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. All the negativity in the world cannot sink a person unless it gets inside the mind.” -Mary Pickford

“An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.” -Evan Esar

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Self-pity feels like medicine and works like poison.” -Shane Parrish

“There are two types of people: Those who want to know more and those who want to defend what they already know.” -Morgan Housel

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.” -Voltaire

“In crisis, it’s often only after you take the first step that the path emerges.” -

“Blind faith will blind you.” -Rabbi Sydney Mintz

“We hurt in proportion with how much we care...Grief helps us recognize how much we love.” -Sarah Hill

“Most people live in a very restricted circle of their potential being. They make use of a very small portion of their possible consciousness, and of their soul’s resources in general, much like a man who, out of his whole organism, should get into a habit of using and moving only his little finger.” -William James

“Perseverance is a great substitute for talent.” -Steve Martin

“A good manager makes sure everyone knows what they have to do, then makes sure they’ve done it—that’s the black-and-white part of being a leader.” -Will Guidara

“A leader’s role isn’t only to motivate and uplift; sometimes it’s to earn the trust of your team by being human with them.” -Will Guidara

“Reading books is a workout for the attention span. The more you read, the easier it is to read, and the more you’re rewarded with new understanding. Eventually the process is more pleasurable than it is challenging. But as with physical exercise, the converse is true as well: The less you read, the more difficult it is to read, and the rockier the path to acquiring knowledge.” -Rose Horowitch

“Writing is hard because the writer is learning. If AI eliminates the challenge, it also eliminates the learning.” -Rose Horowitch

“If you can describe people’s problems better than they can, they’ll subconsciously believe that you have the solution. The pain is the pitch.” -

“When you ignore a problem that is small enough to handle, it often grows into a problem too big to manage.” -James Clear

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” -Neale Donald Walsch

“If you can’t say what makes you different, your customer can’t either.” -Kieran Drew

“It’s better to be different and judged than normal and forgotten.” -Kieran Drew

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” -Maya Angelou

“The future belongs to those who can spread ideas.” -Guy Kawasaki

“If you think someone is normal, you don’t know them very well. Normalcy is a fiction. Your job is to discover their weird genius.” -Kevin Kelly

“There’s so many people working so hard but achieving so little.” -Andy Grove

“You waste years by not being able to waste hours.” -Amos Tversky

“When we hear something critical about ourselves, we typically have one of two instinctive responses: Reject it completely or accept it immediately as stated. In my experience, neither is optimal. To be good at receiving feedback, you need to look past binary responses.” -

“If you’re not failing all the time, you’re not creating a situation where you can get super lucky.” -Ira Glass

“Judge talent at its best but character at its worst.” -Lord Acton

Read more of my favorite quotes:

I read 70+ books per year, and I’ve been doing that for the past decade. Each year of reading has brought new favorites that I share near and far with friends, family, and online readers.

In an earlier post, I shared the 30 best fiction books I’ve read in the past decade. Since then, I’ve wanted to expand that list to my 100 favorites of all time, including some absolute faves I read much longer than 10 years ago.

This list contains a bit of everything: new novels and classic literature, standard prose and graphic novels, YA fiction and mature books, and bestsellers alongside books you’ve never heard of.

Reading recs are inherently subjective, so I know you’ll disagree with some of the books I’ve included. (Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.) But I also know several on this list will catch your eye and join your TBR list.

Here’s my Top 100 list, alphabetized by author’s last name. I included a 3-4 sentence summary for each one.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

For years, I pre-judged this book,  thinking I wasn’t part of the target market for a coming-of-age story about four sisters. I was 100 percent wrong. Alcott’s classic about Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy Marsh is meaningful, fun, and inspiring.

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood

I appreciated The Handmaid’s Tale even more when I learned that Atwood tried to ensure every crazy event in the book was derived from real events from prior totalitarian regimes. That makes the storyline even crazier (and more depressing). Follow along as the handmaid Offred rebels against the oppressive patriarchal regime of the Republic of Gilead.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Remarkably, it took me until my mid-30s to read Austen. Now I know why her books have a prominent place on nearly every Top 100 list ever written. (And yeah, I’m now a fan of Mr. Darcy.) Pride and Prejudice delves into social classes, outdated gender roles, family, vanity, gossip, and psychology.

The Compound by S.A. Bodeen

This was one of my favorites I stumbled upon during my young adult (YA) fiction binge years ago. It follows a boy named Eli who’s lived underground for six years. His family has sheltered to avoid some unknown, horrible thing, but you’re left wondering what that is for the majority of this fast-paced read.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Fahrenheit 451 is one of the first books that taught me classic literature can be fun. I was immediately sucked into Bradbury’s dystopian world that turns the role of “firefighter” on its head. In the bleak world of this story, the government has banned all books, and society’s firefighters are government agents tasked with burning any books they discover.

Red Rising (#1) by Pierce Brown

Just like everyone else in the country, I jumped on the YA bandwagon after reading books like The Hunger Games. Red Rising was the best series I found to scratch that itch, and the first book of the series is one of the most unputdownable books of all time. I’m usually able to predict where a book is headed, but this one fooled me multiple times.

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

Bulgakov’s classic novel served as a scathing critique of the political and religious oppression in Stalinist Russia. The devil comes to earth and wreaks havoc in Russia alongside his motley crew, which includes a black cat, a tall man with broken glasses, and a hitman. I’m still trying to process the allegorical layers of this book because there’s so much to unpack.

If On a Winter's Night, A Traveler by Italo Calvino

Speaking of tons to unpack, this book is a mind trip. I read it with a book club, and I’m thankful I did because it’s one of the most complex books I’ve read. In this postmodern narrative, Calvino weaves 10 separate storylines together to explore how reading shapes our lives.

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

This "non-fiction novel" is arguably the most famous true crime novel of all time. But rather than reporting the mere facts of the case, Capote injects a unique blend of subjectivity and emotion into this true story about the brutal killing of four people in Holcomb, Kansas. Capote’s writing format influenced many future nonfiction authors.

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

Mostly because I didn’t enjoy reading in junior high and high school, I didn’t read this book until I was an adult. It still packed a wallop. The plot centers around precocious Ender Wiggin, who’s enrolled in a military school and pitted against fellow students and otherworldly foes in this fast-paced sci-fi novel.

Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Carroll’s story is weird, entertaining, and creative. It’s also super short: 110 pages. I mainly read this because it’s on the Top 200 list I’m working through, but I enjoyed it enough that I pressed on and also read the sequel Through the Looking-Glass.

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

Authors like Chuck Palahniuk recommend using a “clock” to drive your story forward and build suspense. This book’s title serves that purpose: As one character after another bites the dust, you know how close you are to the ultimate conclusion. The book’s final reveal remains one of my favorites in fiction.

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

The year is 2045, and the world has been ravaged by poverty, climate change, and war. The majority of humanity copes with the world’s destitution by immersing themselves in the virtual reality of the OASIS — the brainchild of computer scientist James Halliday. Halliday has decided to bequeath his fortune to whoever can find the Easter egg hidden inside the OASIS, and teenage gamer Wade Watts thinks he’s up to the challenge.

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The Alchemist follows the story of a young shepherd boy who yearns to travel the world and become rich. The lessons he learns on his journey show him that he may very well be focused on the wrong things in life. Just like many readers, I found Coelho’s book to be inspiring, magical, and well-written.

The Hunger Games (#1) by Suzanne Collins

This series kicked off my multi-year reading binge of YA fiction when I was in grad school. Collins’s conclusions of books leave something to be desired, but she sure knows how to craft a cliffhanger at the end of a chapter. After reading this series, bow-shooting badass Katniss Everdeen became one of my favorite fictional characters.

Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

In this short book with tons of depth, sailor Charles Marlow joins an ivory trading firm, where he keeps hearing stories about a powerful and enigmatic man named Kurtz. Marlow’s obsession with Kurtz grows until he finally meets the man. That fateful meeting occurs much later in the book than I expected, and the story’s conclusion brilliantly connects back to the story’s title in multiple ways.

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

I'm guessing you've watched the movie but never read the book. If so, check out the book because it's a fun way to re-live this larger-than-life story. Plus, Crichton is enough of a nerd to make the science believable. (He began his career as a doctor.)

Pines (Wayward Pines I) by Blake Crouch

It’s hard to express exactly how good (and underrated) this book really is. Two federal agents go missing in Wayward Pines, Idaho, and the Secret Service agent who’s sent to find them realizes a lot is going on behind the scenes in this spooky town. I flew through this book and immediately read the rest of the trilogy.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

Growing up, I watched the old Gene Wilder movie multiple times, but reading the book gave me the chance to experience the joy anew when Charlie unwraps the chocolate bar containing that glorious golden ticket. Dahl is one of the best children’s authors of all time, and this book is a must-read for both kids and adults. It’ll help you rediscover your childlike wonder and whimsy.

The Maze Runner (#1) by James Dashner

Sixteen-year-old Thomas wakes up in a maze, surrounded by a bunch of boys whose memories are gone. The rest of the trilogy follows Thomas as he tries to discover where he came from and what happened to his society. Dashner also wrote multiple prequels to this story, and I enjoy some of them as much as the original trilogy (which is quite rare).

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

I debated whether I wanted to read this because I already knew the story, but I’m glad I did. It’s a quick read (~100 pages), well worth an hour or two of your time. Dickens’s visceral storytelling will induce you to hate Scrooge before his conversion and make you want to hug him afterward. A Christmas Carol is so iconic because it captures the powers of gratitude, selflessness, and kindness—all qualities we could use more in the world today.

Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens

Similar to some of its classic lit peers, Oliver Twist can be slow at times, but it’s also packed with social criticism and depth. Dickens is brilliant at creating memorable characters like Fagin and the Artful Dodger. Having experienced poverty and child labor himself growing up, Dickens was able to write about those topics from personal experience, and they became themes in much of his work.

Dungeon Crawler Carl by Matt Dinniman

What a fun ride! After disaster strikes the planet, Carl & his ex-girlfriend’s cat Princess Donut struggle to survive while the universe watches on intergalactic TV. Thanks to my friends Rob and Ashlie for recommending the audiobook version. The narrator Jeff Hays is 10/10.

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

Doerr rocketed to popularity with his Pulitzer-winning novel All the Light We Cannot See. The story depicts a fragile WWII-era friendship between a blind French girl and a young German boy. It’s one of the most beautifully written books I’ve ever read.

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr

Cloud Cuckoo Land swirls through the lives of five fictional characters throughout history, from 15th-century Constantinople to present-day Idaho and not-so-distant interstellar space. (I grew up in Idaho, and I don’t often see my state reflected in literature, so that made me smile.) Doerr artfully connects all five threads in this heartfelt and thought-provoking story.

Room by Emma Donoghue

Donoghue’s disturbing novel will stick with you. The protagonist and her son are kept in an 11’ x 11’ room for seven years. The room functions as their entire world until they finally get a glimpse of a different life.

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Dostoyevsky’s work deserves a spot on any list of top novels. The most memorable thing about Crime and Punishment is the sense of guilt that haunts the protagonist Raskolnikov. The book explores the psychological burden that follows every action we take.

Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

I’ve never read anything else like Rebecca. The entire novel swirls around the absence of a person: the deceased and mysterious Rebecca de Winter. When a new woman marries de Winter’s husband, she quickly realizes that everything in the de Winter mansion still revolves around Rebecca. Throughout the entire novel, the reader and protagonist breathlessly wonder...who was this Rebecca??

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

Simply put: my favorite novel and the most epic revenge story of all time. It’s girthy but so worth the time that I’ve actually read it twice. Everyman Edmond Dantès is condemned to prison for a crime he didn’t commit—a plan masterminded by two men Dantès thought were friends. When Dantès emerges from prison, he cannot wait to enact his vengeance.

The Circle by Dave Eggers

Eggers erects a Black Mirror-esque world in which a social media company slowly dominates every aspect of life. As the tentacles of the billion-dollar behemoth wrap around more aspects of their users' lives, the reader begins to wonder: Is this book maybe a little too real? The book made me a huge fan of Eggers, prompting me to check out his other work as well.

The Shards by Bret Easton Ellis

Ellis weaves elements from his own life (he’s the protagonist) into a fictionalized story about a serial killer terrorizing Los Angeles. Throughout the book, I wondered what was true and what wasn’t, which was a fun and unusual sensation. (Note: This book contains quite a bit of explicit content. No surprise, given that it’s written by the same guy who penned American Psycho.)

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Great Gatsby relays the emptiness of fortune and the pangs of love better than any novel I’ve found. It’s also a lurid portrayal of the Roaring Twenties that will make you want to suit up and talk your way into one of Gatsby’s lavish parties. At roughly 200 pages, this is a quick read and one of my top 10 favorites of all time.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Every one of Flynn’s books is dark and twisted, and this one is my favorite. A woman named Amy Dunne disappears, and passages from her diary indicate her husband Nick may not be the gentleman he seems. Not only is this book an incredible psychological thriller, it’s also told in a unique storytelling technique that inspired emulation from multiple other authors.

Limitless (fka The Dark Fields) by Alan Glynn

Copywriter Eddie Spinola starts taking an experimental drug called MDT-48 that turns him into a cerebral superhero. Once his brain starts firing on all cylinders, he begins making tons of money as a day trader. But then, he realizes that MDT-48 has a few dangerous side effects that propel him on a roller coaster for the rest of the story. (Btw, the 2011 movie adaptation starring Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro has one of the biggest differences between book versus movie ending I can remember.)

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

Such a fascinating premise: A group of boys turns Darwinian after getting marooned on a small island. Their time away from their mommies and daddies originally seems fun, but things turn violent after factions divide the group. This 1954 book seems to have spawned many other stories of children placed in horrible situations, such as the 1999 book Battle Royale (and its 2008 American copycat The Hunger Games), along with TV series like The Wilds (2020–2022).

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

Taking another wild guess here: you’ve probably seen the movie but not read the book. The Princess Bride is a fun romp through piracy, romance, intrigue, murder, and revenge. You’ll leave the book with an even deeper love for Westley, Buttercup, and gang.

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing (The Carls #1) by Hank Green

Green’s book is one of the deepest, most thought-provoking novels I’ve read in years. He wrestles with soooo many big topics like social media, technology, fame, and equality, while telling a killer story along the way. Thanks to my buddy Alex for this recommendation.

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

This is one of the only books from my high school required reading that made the list. It’s an influential story that’s inspired many other works, and it’s also an incisive investigation of hypocrisy, gossip, and public shaming. I wish I could have appreciated the book’s full meaning when I read it as a teen.

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway

I read this book back in 2018 while gearing up for a trip to Spain, and it was a great precursor for the trip. Hemingway's classic novel tells the story of a group of American and British expats who vacation to Spain to take in the sights and watch the Running of the Bulls. The group fragments as tensions arise among the vacationers.

The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith

If you love suspense and you’ve never read Patricia Highsmith, stop reading my article and go pick up this novel. Tom Ripley is many things: con man…genius…sociopath. After Tom reconnects with his old friend Dickie in Europe, Tom decides he’s too jealous of Dickie’s life to go back to his own boring old life in America, so he comes up with a unique way to live the life he’s always wanted.

Subscribe now

The Odyssey by Homer

Like many people, I had read excerpts of this novel previously, but never the full thing. To prepare for Christopher Nolan’s new movie, I read it, and it did not disappoint. I was impressed by the number of memorable scenes: the Cyclops, the Sirens, the bow-and-arrow challenge, Odysseus’s revenge on the suitors, etc.

Wool (Silo #1) by Hugh Howey

This story takes place in a dystopian universe where thousands of people live underground in a massive silo, and they're not allowed to talk about what's outside the silo. If they do, the punishment is to be sent out to die in the toxic atmosphere that surrounds the silo. When I first started reading Wool, I thought I knew where the story was going, but I was proven wrong several times. (I love that!)

Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

Although Les Misérables is massive and took me forever to read, it became one of my top 10 novels of all time. The biggest reason is that it contains several of the best examples of unconditional love I’ve ever read. It’s also a great primer on the June Rebellion of 1832 in Paris, shortly after the French Revolution.

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Huxley paints a dystopian world of genetic engineering and social stratification. My friends Tim and Whitney recommended this book to me, and when I heard they even named their dog after the author, I thought, "Wow, that book must be really damn good." It was.

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro

Definitely a slow burn, but such a great book. The protagonist is a butler (Stevens) who served his boss honorably for 30+ years. He's also an unreliable narrator, which was my favorite aspect of the book. As Stevens looks back on his career, he begins questioning whether the boss he served was such a great man after all.

The Will of the Many (Hierarchy #1) by James Islington

I’m not normally a big fantasy guy. While I’ve read classics like LOTR, Narnia, etc., I rarely read many modern fantasy series. But dang, this book may make me reassess! What pulled me in was the dystopian social hierarchy and magical system Islington creates in his fantasy world.

Bad Cree by Jessica Johns

My book club read this novel in 2024, and it became my hidden gem of that year. After a vivid nightmare, the protagonist awakens with a dead crow in her hand, and she realizes that her dreams are impacting her reality. Bad Cree is a gripping story of love, loss, friendship, and sisterhood.

The Green Mile by Stephen King

King originally released The Green Mile as a serial novel in six segments, but you can now purchase it as a single book. You'll find some of King's most emotional scenes and memorable characters in this book, including several inspiring acts of kindness. It quickly became one of my top 10 novels.

Misery by Stephen King

Author Paul Sheldon comes face-to-face with his biggest fan in this creepy novel. When Sheldon’s car crashes in the middle of nowhere, a woman named Annie Wilkes nurses him back to health. But then Wilkes decides to hold Sheldon hostage until he writes a new story about her favorite character from his books: Misery Chastain.

11/22/63 by Stephen King

I don’t enjoy many time travel stories because they tend to be confusing and overly sentimental, so when a couple of my friends recommended Stephen King’s time travel book 11/22/63, I was skeptical. Thankfully, King proved me wrong with a brilliant story that’s packed with compelling characters and hateable villains. What made me love this book is that it’s so much more than a “go back in time to prevent a bad thing” story. It’s a tale about love, loss, nostalgia, and sacrifice.

The Dead Zone by Stephen King

I’ve now read 32 of King’s books, and The Dead Zone is one of his best. I was amazed by his ability to foreshadow plotlines early in the book, then deftly connect back to them later in the story. Protagonist Johnny Smith develops the ability to see the future of any person he touches, and he doesn’t like what he sees when he comes into contact with ambitious politician Greg Stillson.

It by Stephen King

This 1,100-page monster of a book contains one of the most iconic villains in pop culture: Pennywise the Clown. Pennywise is horrifying, but so is the town of Derry, Maine, where the story is set. The plot revolves around a group of seven kids haunted by Pennywise who return to Derry as adults (28 years later) to try to take him down.

The Walking Dead (#1) by Robert Kirkman

The Walking Dead TV series is one of my all-time favorites, so I naturally wanted to check out the graphic novels. The series is quite long, but I’ve now finished almost the entire thing because the storyline has been so propulsive and fun. The books have been awesome, and they’ve kept me on my toes because there are some big differences between the graphic novels and the TV version.

The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz

Washed-up writer Jake Bonner is working as a professor when he meets brilliant and arrogant student Evan Parker. Parker tells Bonner the plot of a story he’s writing, then dies before he can publish it. So Bonner takes things into his own hands, only to discover there’s a dark underbelly to Parker’s story.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Easily one of the most heartbreaking books I’ve ever read. I assume you’re familiar with this story by now and have likely at least watched the award-winning movie, but even so, you should read the book. It’s a powerful depiction of racism in 1930s America with a few sprinkles of optimism and hope mixed in.

Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin

One recent Halloween, I decided to read the classic horror book Rosemary’s Baby. Levin’s foreshadowing and storytelling were so dazzling that I immediately ordered two of his other books: The Stepford Wives and A Kiss Before Dying. Together, those three books cemented Levin as one of my favorite authors of all time.

The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin

Walter and Joanna Eberhart move to the beautiful town of Stepford, where every family seems picture-perfect: young, gorgeous, and deeply in love. But when Joanna’s friends begin acting strange, she starts to wonder if there’s something ominous hiding behind the town’s peaceful veneer. The Stepford Wives is a well-written, unnerving story with a surprising conclusion.

A Kiss Before Dying by Ira Levin

The storytelling mechanism used in this book makes it one of the most interesting novels I've ever read. As a little teaser, here's what Stephen King has to say about it: “[The novel's] real screeching bombshell is neatly tucked away about one hundred pages into the story. If you should happen upon this moment while thumbing randomly through the book, it means nothing to you. If you have read everything faithfully up to that point, it means...everything."

The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis

Theologian and Chronicles of Narnia author C.S. Lewis penned this fascinating allegory about a dead man exploring the afterlife. I first read this book back in 2009, then re-read it a decade later, and it was every bit as good the second time. The Great Divorce offers one of the most interesting takes on heaven and hell you’ll ever read.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Chronicles of Narnia #1) by C.S. Lewis

In this classic story, siblings Peter, Edmund, Susan, and Lucy discover that their caretaker’s old wardrobe contains way more than just dust. They stumble into the magical world of Narnia, where snow covers the earth, winter is everlasting, and good battles evil. As with many fantasy stories, this one is fun for both kids and adults.

The Giver by Lois Lowry

Similar to many of my favorite novels, The Giver is set in a dystopian community. Citizens generally do what they’re told and don’t ask questions—that is, except for 12-year-old Jonas. Jonas begins to unravel the community's dark secrets and takes on an impossible challenge.

Bird Box by Josh Malerman

Bird Box is one of the best thrillers I’ve read. Malerman does an amazing job building suspense around an unseen entity that causes millions of people across the world to kill themselves. Scattered survivors live in fear, cowering behind blindfolds and shuttered windows.

Atonement by Ian McEwan

This is one of the most modern books on the Top 200 Books list I've been chipping through. It's a haunting story of a young 13-year-old girl who makes a mistake that she regrets for the rest of her life. McEwan explores love, war, sadness, social classes, and forgiveness in this unforgettable book.

The Housemaid by Freida McFadden

Twisty, mysterious, and fun—this book is for people who love thrillers with dark plotlines. Movie adaptations always polarize readers, but I thought the 2025 adaptation was well-cast and did justice to the source material. As always, if you haven’t seen the movie, read the book first. But the movie is worth a watch too.

The Chain by Adrian McKinty

As soon as I read the synopsis of this book, I immediately wanted to buy it: a woman named Rachel gets a phone call saying her daughter has been kidnapped. In addition to paying a $25,000 ransom, Rachel must select and kidnap another kid to keep “The Chain” going. The request is the ultimate test of a mother’s love, and Rachel learns that her love goes deep.

The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

Michaelides’s rookie novel is a thriller about a woman who murders her husband, then refuses to speak for six years. This book kept me guessing until the end. Apparently, it did the same for thousands of other readers too because The Silent Patient spent months on the bestseller list.

V for Vendetta by Alan Moore and David Lloyd

The illustrations for V for Vendetta are amazing, and the storytelling is up there with any book I’ve ever read. The book’s political undertones sound oddly similar to some events that have happened in America in the past several years. Alan Moore’s work helped convert me to reading more graphic novels.

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons

This graphic novel not only ascended to the heights of pop culture but also to literary greatness. It’s on countless “Top Books” lists, including the Uber-List of the Top 200 Books I compiled. Watchmen is a masterfully written and illustrated story about what happens when power gets into the wrong hands.

Death Note: Black Edition, Vol. 1 by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata

A teenager finds a random black notebook that he learns has the power to kill anyone in the world. When I first heard that synopsis, I thought this graphic novel sounded interesting but perhaps corny. Then I read it and realized it's way deeper than the summary implies. It delves into the nature of good and evil, capital punishment, and even game theory.

1984 by George Orwell

Orwell’s classic novel lives up to the hype. It was also the origin of the phrase “Big Brother,” the name Orwell gave to the fictional dictator in Oceania. Just like any good dystopian fiction, 1984 holds up a magnifying glass to our present day, questioning any form of government surveillance, censorship, and propaganda.

Animal Farm by George Orwell

Orwell certainly spooked the American public about the perils of Communism. Not only did he deliver the dystopian gem 1984, but he also wrote the allegorical classic Animal Farm. If you’re like most people, you read this novel in school. If you didn’t, it’s worth the read.

Akira 1 by Katsuhiro Otomo

I sometimes unfairly judge things I don't understand. For years, I did that with manga (Japanese comics and graphic novels). Then my brother Trevor recommended this book, and I decided to give it a shot. Akira shattered my ignorance and gave me a deeper appreciation for this art form.

Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

I knew Palahniuk was dark, but holy crap, this book is intense! Regardless, I tend to enjoy dark books, so Fight Club was my jam. Palahniuk did a great job of jealously protecting the book’s secret until the end.

The Street by Ann Petry

The Street was published back in 1946, and few of my bookish friends seem to have heard of it. Petry offers a view into the experience of a poor, Black, single mom trying to make her way in Harlem. The story is simultaneously poignant yet page-turning, gritty yet beautiful, and depressing yet somehow still hopeful. This was also the first novel by an African-American woman to sell over one million copies.

Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield

In this epic novel, Pressfield tells how King Leonidas led 300 Spartans against the massive Persian army in the Battle of Thermopylae. Pressfield’s imagery is so realistic that West Point, the U.S. Naval Academy, and the Marine Corps assign Gates of Fire to their young cadets. This book is one of my top ten favorite novels of all time.

The Prestige by Christopher Priest

You’re probably familiar with the movie (starring Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson, and Michael Caine), but I’m guessing you’re not familiar with the book. As with most book/movie duos, the story is a bit different, but both are fulfilling in their own way. If you’re a fan of the movie, a lover of magic, or simply a connoisseur of fiction, you’ll enjoy the story of this battle between dueling magicians who fight for supremacy in 1800s England.

The Name of the Wind (Kingkiller Chronicle #1) by Patrick Rothfuss

I’m immensely grateful to my friends Cris, Cary, and Alex for recommending this book. The Name of the Wind was mind-blowingly good. It’s the first book in The Kingkiller Chronicle trilogy, but Rothfuss has been slow-pedaling the third book of the series for over a decade.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (HP #1) by J.K. Rowling

Having never read the Harry Potter books as a child, my Aunt Shannon recommended them to me when I was in college, and I asked, “Isn’t that just a kids’ series?” Shannon (rightfully) put me in my place. I gave them a shot, and they became my favorite series I’ve ever read. I’ve now turned many other adults onto Harry Potter because it’s exceptionally well-written and one of the best-plotted series I’ve ever seen.

Holes by Louis Sachar

This is another “kids book” that is so much more than a kids book. Regardless of the intended audience, I love well-told stories, and Sachar’s book about the “cursed” boy Stanley Yelnats hits the mark. Stanley and the other boys at Camp Green Lake detention center are required to dig holes all day, and when he figures out the camp warden is looking for something special, Stanley foils the plot.

What Makes Sammy Run? by Budd Schulberg

Schulberg’s 1941 novel What Makes Sammy Run? follows the budding career of Sammy Glick, a ruthlessly ambitious kid trying to become a Hollywood star. You won’t always like Sammy, but you’ll always find him entertaining. Schulberg’s writing is poignant, and the book became one of my all-time favorites.

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab

Addie LaRue is a heart-wrenchingly beautiful, modern-day Faustian story about a girl who makes a deal to live forever. The catch? Everyone she meets immediately forgets her…until she meets a guy named Henry Strauss.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

This book was much different than I expected. Shelley’s portrayal of the monster as a humane and loving creature was meaningful and moving in a way few monster stories can achieve. As soon as I finished the book, I kicked myself for not having read it sooner.

Maus I by Art Spiegelman

Art Spiegelman tells the story of the Holocaust in graphic novel form, using mice as Jews and cats as Germans. This true story follows Art's parents living through the horrors of Nazi rule. Maus is the most inventive retelling of WWII you'll ever read.

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

Told from the perspective of a dog named Enzo, this book is a tale of family, heartbreak, hard work, and redemption. I love when writers come up with new ways to tell stories, and Stein’s decision to tell this story from the dog’s perspective was clever. The book is a tear-jerker, but it’s worth the read.

East of Eden by John Steinbeck

East of Eden was my introduction to Steinbeck. It felt like a slog in some sections (it’s ~650 pages), but it’s also beautifully written and worth the time if you can maintain patience. I read this in a book club, which helped me process the book’s layers and historical context with friends.

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

“Jekyll and Hyde” is such a popular concept these days that I didn’t realize how late in the book Stevenson reveals the truth about those two characters. It was fun to read the story with today’s knowledge and consider how shocked UK readers must have been in 1886 when they read Stevenson’s epic reveal. I also love short books, and this one is ~120 pages.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

Stoker uses journal entries, letters, and newspaper clippings to tell this iconic story. The local peasants of Transylvania are leery of Count Dracula, who owns a creepy castle atop a hill. And when English lawyer Jonathan Harker stays in the castle, he realizes there’s good cause for the peasants’ concerns.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

This book came out in 2004 and became an international sensation shortly thereafter, but it took me a long time to hear about it. I’m glad I finally did because I’m a sucker for dark academia fiction, and this is one of the best books in that genre. It's a story about a group of college students who follow a charismatic liberal arts professor to dangerous places—in both mind and body.

The Queen’s Gambit by Walter Tevis

You're probably familiar with the Netflix series based on this book (if not, go watch it). I grew up playing competitive chess, so this one was especially fun and nostalgic for me. I loved the strong female protagonist and her titanic struggle against the male-dominated field of chess (and her inner demons).

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

Bilbo Baggins gets more than he bargained for when he opens his door to find a wizard and a collection of dwarves. He leaves his slow-paced life in the Shire to set out on a mythical quest with his new retinue, kicking off arguably the most famous fantasy series of all time. I loved the characters and the entire epic world that Tolkien paints. Read this one first, and if you like it, you should definitely read the entire Lord of the Rings series (next up on the list).

The Fellowship of the Ring (LOTR #1) by J.R.R. Tolkien

I often struggle with the long, mythical names of places and characters in fantasy books, so it takes an exceptional series to get me interested. This one did the trick. It took me about 100 pages until I really started to get into the story, but then I was hooked.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

Count Alexander Rostov is sentenced to stay in a Moscow hotel for the rest of his life, and nearly the entire novel takes place within the hotel’s four walls. Despite his challenging situation, Rostov’s wit, charm, and indefatigable spirit inject hope and energy into this book. The fact that Towles could overcome such a severe limitation and craft a compelling story within a single building shows off his writing prowess.

Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc by Mark Twain

Did you know Mark Twain was obsessed with the story of Joan of Arc and spent 12 years researching her life? In this biographical novel, Twain puts you right into the action of Joan’s life from the perspective of her page and secretary, Sieur Louis de Conté. I didn’t know much about Joan’s story before this, and it helped me understand how inspiring and heroic she really was.

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

Vonnegut’s novels are nothing if not inventive and weird. Few people are brave enough or absurd enough to write an anti-war novel infused with a sci-fi story about a man traveling through time and meeting creatures from another planet. And yet, that’s exactly what Vonnegut did in Slaughterhouse-Five. (Btw, if you’re looking for amazing writing tips, check out his little-known writing advice book Pity the Reader.)

The Martian by Andy Weir

This book put Weir on the map, and he’s been a literary superstar ever since. His protagonist Mark Watney is one of the funnest and funniest characters you’ll ever find. Even though The Martian contains some intense science, Weir makes every page readable and interesting.

Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir

Weir provides another science-y and whimsical romp through space in Project Hail Mary. When the book begins, Ryland Grace finds himself on a spaceship light-years away from Earth. His two fellow astronauts are dead, and Ryland doesn't remember who he is or why he's there.

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells

H.G. Wells broke new literary ground with this book, which popularized the concept of time travel and became the first modern-day science fiction novel. He explores fascinating questions about the potential future of humanity as the gap between the rich and the poor expands. I loved this prescient book.

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead

Whitehead reimagines the Underground Railroad as an actual, physical railroad. Even though it’s a work of fiction, you can feel the truth of the story and characters on every page. From the courageous protagonist Cora to the brutal plantation owner Terrance Randall, it's a glimpse into life as a slave in the pre-Civil War American South.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

The youthful Dorian Gray sells his soul for eternal youth, but his portrait continues to age, revealing Gray’s physical (and moral) deterioration. But the book is also a story of forbidden love in a society that disallowed homosexuality. Tragically, Wilde’s novel was even used in court as evidence against him in an indecency lawsuit.

The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak

Zusak introduces the most unique narrator in fictional history: Death. Death tells the story of a young foster girl named Liesel who resorts to stealing books because she loves them so much. (I can relate.) This story is set in Nazi Germany in 1939, and it carries all of the emotional heft you’d expect from a story in that setting.

For each book above, I included an affiliate link from Bookshop.org. (If you purchase a book, you’ll support me and local bookstores. Win-win!)

What am I missing? What should I check out next? Leave a comment below.

*This article originally appeared as a guest post on , one of my favorite apps.

Looking for more book recs? You’ll enjoy these:

I’ve collected thousands of quotes over the past 10+ years.

Here are the best ones I’ve found about taking action, including insights from top thought leaders in entrepreneurship, productivity, philosophy, and habit formation...

“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears. Clarity doesn’t come before action. It comes from action.” -Rumi

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” -Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it.” -Steve Jobs

“Nothing happens until after you commit.” -Dan Sullivan

“Don’t be afraid to act. Be afraid of living a life that seems more like a resume than an adventure.” -Noah Kagan

“In crisis, it’s often only after you take the first step that the path emerges.” -Simone Stolzoff

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” -Leonardo da Vinci

“The world is a very malleable place. If you know what you want and you go for it with maximum energy and drive and passion, the world will often reconfigure itself around you much more quickly and easily than you would think.” -Marc Andreessen

"We're taught that you need a publisher to write a book, a studio to make a movie, or a gatekeeper to deem you worthy. But the truth is, the tools to create and share have never been more accessible. The only permission you need is your own." -Austin Kleon

“Many a false step was made by standing still.” -Fortune cookie

“Inspiration unused is merely entertainment. To get new results, you need to take new actions.” -David Bach

“Your entire life can change with one year of focused daily effort.” -Sahil Bloom

“Life rewards action, not intelligence. Unfortunately, the smarter you are, the better the excuses. You can analyze forever, or you can take action.” -Giacomo Falcone

“We are the prison guards of the jail that we’re complaining about.” -Chris Williamson

“Working on a problem reduces the fear of it. It’s hard to fear a problem when you are making progress on it—even if progress is imperfect and slow. Action relieves anxiety.” -James Clear

“I got my start by giving myself a start.” -Madam CJ Walker

"Most decisions should probably be made with somewhere around 70% of the information you wish you had. If you wait for 90%, in most cases, you're probably being slow…If you're good at course correcting, being wrong may be less costly than you think, whereas being slow is going to be expensive for sure." -Jeff Bezos

“Anxiety feeds on idleness. You’re feeling stuck and anxious because you’re not doing anything. When you take action, you starve the anxiety of the oxygen it needs to survive.” -Sahil Bloom

“Most people never pick up the phone, most people never ask. And that’s what separates, sometimes, the people that do things from the people that just dream about them. You gotta act. And you gotta be willing to fail.” -Steve Jobs

“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.” -Paulo Coelho

“I’ve realized that the key to being successful is not how good your ideas are. It’s how good you are at being able to find quick, cheap, and easy ways to try your ideas.” -Marc Randolph

“An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.” -Friedrich Engels

“In a world overflowing with information, the true challenge is not gathering more insights but deciding to take that first, crucial step.” -Pat Flynn

“You are never stuck. That’s a lie you tell yourself. You can leave a job, a relationship, a living situation, a date, an interview, or a conversation anytime you want to.” -Mel Robbins

“There is usually an inverse relationship between how much something is on your mind and how much it’s getting done.” -David Allen

Subscribe now

“Whenever you are stuck searching for the optimal plan, remember: Getting started changes everything.” -James Clear

“Actions produce information. If you’re stuck on a problem or a decision, just do anything. If it turns out to be wrong, you can adjust, and you’ll reach the right path much faster than if you wait for certainty.” -Giacomo Falcone

“Even 30 minutes spent actually doing the thing today are more valuable than hundreds of purely hypothetical hours in the future.” -Oliver Burkeman

“There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny.” -Steven Pressfield

“Stress primarily comes from not taking action over something that you can have some control over.” -Jeff Bezos

“Initium est dimidium facti” (Once you’ve started, you’re halfway there.) -Old Latin proverb

“Action expresses priorities.” -Gandhi

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

“Your business heroes are average people who took a lot of action.” -Justin Welsh

“When you’re coming up, you kind of have this sense that somebody at some point will be like, ‘Now it’s your turn.' And it doesn’t ever happen like that...There’s no man behind the curtain who goes, ‘ok, your turn now.’ You have to make your own turn. You have to will it into existence.” -Greta Gerwig

“Most people have been brainwashed into believing that their job is to copyedit the world, not to design it.” -Seth Godin

“The wise does at once what the fool does at last.” -Jewish proverb

“Just start. You’re trying to map out the whole nine innings. Just throw the first pitch.” -Ryan Holiday

“A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.” -General George Patton

“At the end of the day we are accountable to ourselves—our success is a result of what we do.” -Catherine Pulsifer

“With movement comes clarity.” -Thaddeus Bradley

"People think they'll do something later. They think they'll have more time in the future than they do today, as if later is a magical time when everything will happen. Forget the whole notion of the future. There is only today. If you want to do something, do it now. If you don't want to do it now, then you don't want to do it at all, so let it go." -Derek Sivers

“Five years from now you will wish you had started today.” -Kevin Kelly

“Lots of people want to be the noun (writer, entrepreneur, etc.) without doing the verb (writing, inventing, etc.).” -Austin Kleon

“Talk depletes us. Talking and doing fight for the same resources.” -Ryan Holiday

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” -George Eliot

“I didn’t think I’d regret trying and failing, and I suspected I would always be haunted by a decision to not try at all.” -Jeff Bezos

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.” -Andrew Carnegie

“Better to take a risk, try something, and distill the answer from experience rather than from navel-gazing. Action leads to insight more often than insight leads to action.” -Chip and Dan Heath

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.” -Henry David Thoreau

Read More Awesome Quotes:

I frequently get calls from friends who want to chat about work challenges. And I’m perpetually amazed by how often my friends’ struggles come back to one thing: a hesitancy to share feedback.

One entrepreneur I know (“Greg”) was having issues with his business partner. I asked Greg how his partner responded when Greg expressed those concerns. But Greg hadn’t said anything, so the problem persisted.

Another friend felt he was being micromanaged, so he was thinking about jumping ship to another company. I asked how his manager responded when he shared he was feeling that way. He hadn’t said anything yet. He was just quietly filling out job applications.

Now, let me just say…I get it. Feedback is tough. Only psychopaths enjoy giving someone a difficult message that could ruin their day.

But the problem is that many people seemingly prefer to wallow in misery rather than have an honest, candid conversation with someone. And that tendency to avoid tough conversations often leads people to unnecessarily hate their jobs, leave jobs prematurely, or blow up at loved ones when work stress bubbles over.

The solution isn’t to avoid tough feedback conversations — it’s to get better at having them.

In my job, I get to nerd out on this stuff. For eight years, I’ve run employee experience and learning & development (L&D) for various companies, and I love studying how people tick — reading about leadership and psychology, chatting about company culture, etc.

From everything I’ve read, heard, and personally experienced, the best model for delivering feedback is something called the SBI Model, developed by the Center for Creative Leadership.

It’s simple, it’s easy to remember, and it’s effective. Here’s a quick breakdown of how to share feedback using the SBI Model:

• Situation: What was the context or timing? When did this happen?

• Behavior: What did the person do or say?

• Impact: How did their behavior impact others (e.g., their colleagues, the company, clients)?

Before we dive into exactly what feedback sounds like using the SBI Model, let’s recap a few of the biggest mistakes people often make when sharing tough messages:

• Not saying anything: Honestly, this is the biggest one. Giving feedback takes courage.

• Not being specific enough: “Your performance has been low,” “You haven’t closed many cases,” “You’re below quota,” etc.

• Jumping to conclusions: “You’re not trying hard enough,” “You don’t seem to care enough about this,” etc.

• Assigning labels: “You’re lazy,” “You’re a terrible teammate,” etc.

• Sugarcoating the message: “You missed quota this month, but I still think you’re doing well.”

• Sandwiching the tough message between two positive messages: “You exhibited great energy on that call. I think you could have done a better job with the product demo, but you ended the call well by recapping the next steps.”

Using the SBI model can help you avoid many of these mistakes. It keeps you focused on what matters most in the message you need to deliver.

Let’s look at two example situations and run them through the SBI model.

What SBI Looks Like in Practice

Example #1 — Your direct report Tom interrupted a new hire multiple times during a recent team meeting

In a situation like this, there are a few potential traps you need to avoid:

• The first trap is to mentally justify what Tom did (thinking it wasn’t really that bad) and not say anything. This is the worst trap because it completely lets Tom off the hook, meaning he’ll probably do it again.

• Another trap some managers fall into is blasting out their message to the entire team rather than just telling Tom. For example, some people would rather take the easy way out by starting the next team meeting with a reminder that no one should interrupt each other. This strategy fails in two key ways. First, it doesn’t hold Tom accountable. And second, it could also cause others in the group to think they’re the problem when they haven’t done anything wrong.

• Not being specific enough with the feedback you need to share.

Here’s what talking to Tom would sound like using the SBI model:

Example #2 — Your colleague Mary conducted a prospect call poorly

Here are a few potential traps you need to avoid in this situation:

• Giving generalized feedback like “That didn’t go well” or “I wish you had prepared for the call better”

• Jumping to advice too quickly (what Mary should do in the future) rather than explaining what exactly went poorly

• Not contextualizing why the little things are so important (i.e., getting the small stuff wrong can make prospects think you’ll also get the big stuff wrong)

As you can see from the two examples above, these feedback conversations don’t need to take long. Theoretically, sharing feedback with the SBI model should only take a minute or two.

When delivering feedback, most people tend to talk too much, and the more you say, the more likely you are to sugarcoat the message or use unnecessary “hedging” language that lets the other person off the hook.

Don’t do that. Just state your piece, then shut up. Deliver the message succinctly and candidly using the SBI model: Situation, Behavior, Impact.

Explain what you observed and why it’s important. Then ask the person if what you said resonates with them.

Give the SBI model a shot, and you’ll notice an immediate improvement in your tough conversations.

I’ve been working in Learning & Development (L&D) for eight years. Essentially, my job is to find ways to get information into people’s brains.

When I first started in L&D, I discovered that people have a lot of opinions about how they learn best, but very few of those opinions are grounded in reality.

“A great deal of what we think we know about how to learn is taken on faith and based on intuition but does not hold up under empirical research.” -Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel

It turns out that there is a lot of research about what works and what doesn’t, but the answers are buried in research papers and obscure books.

The best myth-busting book I’ve found is called Make It Stick by Peter Brown, Henry Roediger III, and Mark McDaniel. The book summarizes years of data behind how people learn, including the five takeaways below:

1. You don’t have a “learning style.”

“The popular notion that you learn better when you receive instruction in a form consistent with your preferred learning style, for example as an auditory or visual learner, is not supported by the empirical research.” -Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel

This is the most common learning myth. Since the time you were a child, you’ve probably been told that everyone learns in a different way, and people learn better when the mode of teaching matches their preferred style.

But that theory has not been validated by research.

Cognitive psychologists Harold Pashler, Mark McDaniel, Doug Rohrer, and Bob Bjork conducted a study in 2008 to determine whether there’s sufficient evidence for the learning styles theory.

Their research uncovered several studies that outrightly contradicted the theory and virtually no studies that supported it.

They found that people learn best when the style of instruction matches the subject being taught. Geometry should be taught visually, poetry should be taught verbally, and so on.

Functionally, everyone learns the same way. The best teachers recognize how to teach their topics and use whatever teaching mechanisms best support the subject at hand.

People indeed have preferences for how to learn, but those preferences don’t line up with how people actually learn.

This means that if you’ve always considered yourself to “not be a reader” and think you don’t learn that way, you’re probably wrong. If you think that you learn best kinesthetically (e.g. doing something physically with your body), that’s probably because everyone learns that way for the subject you’re trying to learn. It’s impossible to learn archery by sitting in a classroom. You can’t learn to dance by reading a book. Ensure that the teaching mechanism lines up with the material that you are trying to learn.

The learning styles myth is predicated on the idea that people learn best by doing something they enjoy — something that comes easy.

In fact, the opposite is often true, which brings us to our second takeaway about how we learn…

2. Experiencing difficulty can help you learn better.

“[S]ome difficulties that require more effort and slow down apparent gains…will feel less productive at the time but will more than compensate for that by making the learning stronger, precise, and enduring…our judgments of what learning strategies work best for us are often mistaken, colored by illusions of mastery.”
-Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel

Did you know that when written text is slightly out of focus, readers remember more of the material? The brain is forced to perform more work, so the information sticks better.

Similarly, if a professor’s lecture strays from the order of material presented in the textbook, students have higher recall of the information. The students are forced to discern the key insights and connect those to what they remember from the textbook.

We assume that what comes easily will stick in our brains more readily than things that come difficult, but the opposite is often true.

This is another reason why the learning styles theory is so inaccurate. If you have a preferred way to learn, it’s probably best to do the exact opposite! Experiencing difficulty while learning helps our brains approach the material from a different perspective. The authors of Make It Stick call this “desirable difficulty.”

Desirable difficulty is one of the reasons cited for why many dyslexics have gone on to build incredible businesses. Richard Branson (entrepreneur and philanthropist), Barbara Corcoran (real estate mogul), and Charles Schwab (investor and financial executive) have all credited dyslexia for playing a role in their success. The additional effort they had to expend to learn made their knowledge more robust.

“There are still many dyslexics out there, especially young people, who feel held back by their condition. I used my dyslexia to my advantage and learned to delegate those tasks I wasn’t so good it. This freed me up to look at the bigger picture, and is one of the main reasons I have been able to expand the Virgin brand into so many different areas.” -Richard Branson

When you’re learning something new, be patient. Expect difficulty. Difficulty is a sign that your brain is wrestling with something foreign, exploring how it fits into your existing assumptions and mental models.

3. Self-quizzing is better than re-reading.

“One of the best habits a learner can instill in herself is regular self-quizzing to recalibrate her understanding of what she does and does not know.” -Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel

I can remember situations back in college when I re-read a portion of a textbook several times until I was very familiar with the text. I got to the point where my eyes would scan the beginning of a paragraph, and I’d think to myself, “Oh yeah, I remember that. I’m gonna nail this test.” Then I’d skip that paragraph and go on to the next.

Unfortunately, I didn’t realize a few things about how our brains learn:

Awareness ≠ Understanding
Familiarity ≠ Fluency
Recognition ≠ Knowledge

My familiarity with the text did little to help me recall that information later. When it came time for the test on that material, I was often surprised that I couldn’t remember information that “I knew so well.”

What I should have done was quiz myself more frequently on the material. Self-quizzing identifies places of hidden ignorance. It also helps our brains get better at retrieving the information we have stored:

“[R]ecalling what you have learned causes your brain to reconsolidate the memory, which strengthens its connections to what you already know and makes it easier for you to recall in the future. In effect, retrieval — testing — interrupts forgetting.” -Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel

The next time you’re trying to learn something new, look for an opportunity to test yourself on what you’ve learned. Rather than reading and re-reading the material to develop familiarity, look for a way to gauge your places of hidden ignorance.

Subscribe now

4. “Massed practice” is ineffective.

“Massed practice gives us the warm sensation of mastery because we’re looping information through short-term memory without having to reconstruct the learning from long-term memory. But just as with rereading as a study strategy, the fluency gained through massed practice is transitory, and our sense of mastery is illusory.” -Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel

Years ago, I advised my company’s client services team to batch similar work for new hires so they could learn how to solve one type of problem before moving on to the next type of problem. I was inclined to educate new hires through massed practice — repetition of a single task until that task is mastered.

Then I read Make It Stick and realized I had given crappy advice. Massed practice is not how people learn best.

To explain why massed practice doesn’t work, let’s look at an example from the world of baseball…

Let’s say you are a hitting coach who wants to improve your team’s batting average. You’re not sure how best to do this, so you divide your batters into two groups to run an experiment. As part of the experiment, every hitter will get 45 practice pitches.

The batters in the first group will get 15 fastballs in a row, then 15 curveballs in a row, then 15 changeups in a row.

The batters in the second group will get 45 random pitches. They don’t know what’s coming.

Which group do you think will become better hitters?

Before answering that question, I’ll tell you who will enjoy batting practice more: the first group! They know what is coming. They will crush pitches during batting practice because they know what to expect. But that doesn’t make them perform any better during a game because real life doesn’t work like that.

The second group (the one that received 45 random pitches) will become better hitters. Their practice mimicked what they’ll face in a real game-time situation.

The Cal Poly baseball team actually tried the experiment above for six weeks. Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel share the team’s conclusion:

“Those who had practiced on the randomly interspersed pitches now displayed markedly better hitting relative to those who had practiced on one type of pitch thrown over and over.”

Massed practice is ineffective because it doesn’t mimic real life. Real life is messy. It doesn’t comport to tidy rules.

Pitchers don’t throw 15 changeups in a row. Changeups are only effective because they are unexpected. They catch hitters off balance. No pitcher in a game-time situation would throw that many of the same pitch in a row.

Similarly, client services teams don’t get 45 of the same cases in a row. Sales reps don’t face the same objection 45 times in a row.

When you’re learning something new, it’s best to practice different tasks back-to-back rather than batching similar tasks together. Create an environment similar to the one you’ll face when performing that task later. Don’t inflate your ego with the illusion of mastery by hammering 15 curveballs in a row.

5. Reflection is a powerful learning tool.

“Reflection can involve several cognitive activities that lead to stronger learning: retrieving knowledge and earlier training from memory, connecting these to new experiences, and visualizing and mentally rehearsing what you might do differently next time.” -Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel

What feels more productive after you’ve finished reading a book: beginning to read the next book in your stack or taking notes on the book you just finished?

To me, it always feels more productive to move on to the next new thing. But our brains often need time to reflect upon what we have learned.

Reflection helps us establish new mental models and form new connections between disparate facts.

“The learning benefits from the various cognitive activities that are engaged during reflection (retrieval, elaboration, generation) have been well established through empirical studies.” -Brown, Roediger, and McDaniel

Once you’ve finished learning something new, take the time to jot down a few notes about that topic. Write notes in the margins of your books. Journal about the TED talk you just watched. Talk to a friend about the Coursera class you just completed. Harness the power of reflection to retain new knowledge.

There are many myths about how we learn.

If you’ve committed to becoming a lifelong learner, it’s imperative to understand how your brain actually retains knowledge.

Rather than falling for popular learning myths, remember these five takeaways:

1. You don’t have a “learning style.”

2. Experiencing difficulty can help you learn better.

3. Self-quizzing is better than re-reading.

4. “Massed practice” is ineffective.

5. Reflection is a powerful learning tool.

Keep learning, my friends.

I’m a bit weird.

When I go to the grocery store, I obsess over which path of picking up groceries will require the fewest steps, and I get annoyed if I choose a suboptimal path.

When I run errands around town, I mentally map out my route to ensure I won’t have to unnecessarily double back on any roads.

When my wife tells me she’s ready to leave the house to go on a walk, I sometimes get frustrated if she’s not ready to go once my shoes are on. (Definitely not my best quality.)

These tendencies are partially connected to my impatience, but they’re more firmly rooted in my relentless desire to not waste a second of precious life. (If this sounds unhealthy, that’s probably because it is.)

Several years ago, I realized that I was applying this same relentless efficiency to some of my relationships.

I’d be in a 1-on-1 with one of my direct reports, and if they weren’t coming to the point fast enough, I’d interrupt and skip to address whatever I knew they were asking about.

Or someone would come to me with a difficult life problem, and I’d suggest solutions rather than listening and letting them come to their own (often much better) solution.

Around this time, I realized that I could no longer let efficiency be the driving force of every aspect of my life.

Efficiency is a worthwhile, reasonable aspiration when trying to solve process problems (writing software code, building a spreadsheet, designing an assembly line, etc.). But it’s the wrong driving force when dealing with people.

Human relationships don’t function on the continuum of efficient versus inefficient. They function in the realm of effective versus ineffective.

First, a quick definition of terms:

• Efficient = “Doing something in a good, careful and complete way with no waste of time, money or energy”

• Effective = “Producing the result that is wanted or intended; producing a successful result”

The former is optimization: you’re squeezing the juice out of a process to make it better, faster, or cheaper. But squeezing humans doesn’t lead to a positive outcome. It leads to unempathetic conversations and damaged relationships.

The latter is prioritization: you’re putting people first and ensuring that something is done the right way — not necessarily the fastest way. Humans aren’t robots, and we screw up things when we treat them as such.

There are plenty of situations when we’re called to make something more efficient:

• Automating an Excel spreadsheet with formulas, conditional formatting, and dependent cell referencing

• Simplifying software code to speed up processing time and make it easier to debug and maintain

• Cutting out unnecessary steps from a cumbersome process

• Empowering people to make decisions rather than requiring approval

But here are some of the mistakes I’ve made when I’ve applied efficiency in the wrong situations:

• Not inviting some stakeholders to meetings because I thought they’d slow down the process (even though they’d probably help us reach a better decision)

• Cutting off a 1-on-1 to head to another meeting even though the person just brought up a big topic that warrants discussion

• Shipping a project too quickly because I wanted to move on to the next thing

• Multitasking by checking email or Slack messages during a meeting

Subscribe now

3 Ways to Be More Effective with People

Lately, I’ve been trying to prioritize effectiveness instead of efficiency in my interactions with others. These tactics have been helpful in that effort:

1. Recognize that some moments are supposed to move slowly

Several times, I’ve had team members cry during a 1-on-1. One person was heading toward a possible divorce, another had a family member with a medical issue, and a third was feeling really burnt out.

In situations like these, speed is not your friend. These situations are built for sitting in silence together—just being there for someone. They’re not meant to be rushed. These are the kinds of situations when I now just sit there and let the meeting run long, even if it will make me late for my next appointment.

Many situations call for slowness, not speed. Take time to recognize those moments.

2. When possible, avoid booking another meeting right after a 1-on-1

I used to book all of my meetings back-to-back because it felt more efficient. But I kept running into situations where a team member would bring up something significant at the end of a 1-on-1, and I’d have to decide whether to cut them off so I could show up to my next meeting on time.

It was a double bind because I’d either have to short-change the person in front of me or the person in my next meeting, and neither felt like the right thing to do.

Now, I often try to give myself a little wiggle room in the calendar between 1-on-1s. I’m sacrificing a bit of efficiency to do this, but it feels like a good tradeoff.

3. Remember that the most effective path often ends up also being faster in the long term

This is one of the mental tricks I use on myself. Because my brain is hard-wired for efficiency, I sometimes have to remind myself that optimizing for effectiveness (the best way to do things) also ends up resulting in long-term efficiency (the fastest way to do things).

I realized this earlier in my career when I was rolling out a new communication process at my company. My tendency is to ship projects quickly and move on to the next thing, but one executive encouraged me to slow down and roll out the process piecemeal: one element in March, another in April, etc.

At first, I thought to myself, “That’s way too freaking slow! We can’t wait four months to roll this out!” But it turned out that doing it the slow way helped the company adopt the process change at an appropriate pace. By moving more slowly, we actually got faster adoption. (Funny how that works, huh?)

This is the power of effectiveness.

If you apply efficiency to the wrong situations, you’ll damage relationships and often generate worse results.

Processes can and should be streamlined for efficiency. People shouldn’t.

To get the most out of your people, you have to want the most for them. That means treating everyone in a humane, caring, and empathetic way—putting their needs and emotions first and ensuring they get the support they need.

People need to be cared for, loved, appreciated, and respected — all of which take time. In every relationship, focus on quality and authenticity rather than quantity and productivity.

Today I turn 39. Each birthday, I reflect on what life has taught me. (Read my prior lists here: ages 35, 36, 37, and 38.)

This year’s lessons loosely cluster around a few core themes:

1. Growth Mindset: Anyone can learn anything. You are malleable—but only if you choose to be.

2. High Agency: You can choose whether to take action or be acted upon.

3. Stoicism: Control what you can control. Don’t waste time worrying about the rest.

4. Learn, Curate, Simplify, & Share: Spotlight the best stuff you’re learning so others can learn too.

5. Candid & Kind: Speak up. And when conflict arises, assume positive intent.

Without further ado, here are the 39 biggest lessons I learned this past year:

Growth Mindset → You Can Learn Anything

Don’t get jealous—learn. I sometimes look at others and think, “Dang, look what he has accomplished…and he’s younger than me!” That type of comparison is destructive when it pushes me toward jealousy, bitterness, or excuses. But I’ve learned it can also be constructive if it leads me to deeper introspection and learning, like “Strategy X worked for them. Maybe I should try that.” The key is to focus on learning, not jealousy.

Believe in your ability to solve problems. Don’t hide behind excuses like “I’m not a math guy” or “I’m not a creative person.” Each of us is given a different default setting for how easy it is to acquire particular skills, but everything is ultimately learnable.

“Optimism is not the belief that there are no problems. Optimism is a belief that we can fix the problems.” -Shawn Achor

Spend time with living trees (nature) and dead trees (books). You’ll immediately become happier and more relaxed. (Shout-out to for this framing.)

Exhibit mental liquidity. Be willing to defend your passions but equally willing to listen to others. Aim for strong opinions, loosely held. (HT: Morgan Housel)

Choose truth over being right. Egocentric people care about being right, but lifelong learners care about getting it right. Be the latter.

“There are two types of people: Those who want to know more and those who want to defend what they already know.” -Morgan Housel

High Agency → Take Action

When you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself, “What would a high agency person do in this situation?” Doing so can change your mental frame and help you begin generating potential solutions.

One of the best ways to accomplish something is to lower the bar for getting started. When I tell myself I should start writing the next chapter of my book, I hesitate to do anything because it seems daunting. But when I tell myself I want to open my writing platform and “just play around a bit,” I end up writing a chapter. To accomplish more, lower the barrier to entry.

Don’t get constipated with learning. Consuming information (books, articles, YouTube videos, etc.) is great. But there comes a point when you need to ACT. Decide today to take imperfect action with what you know so far. Never use learning as a delaying technique for doing the real work.

“Your entire life will change when you stop gathering information and start acting on the information you already have.” -Sahil Bloom

Just make a decision—any decision. It’s tempting to wait until you have full information before making a decision, but that’s often the worst thing you can do. Instead, choose a path and start walking down it. Often, you can iterate later anyway.

“Actions produce information. If you’re stuck on a problem or a decision, just do anything. If it turns out to be wrong, you can adjust, and you’ll reach the right path much faster than if you wait for certainty.” -

Action eases anxiety. Most of the time when I’m feeling nervous about something, I realize I’m only anxious because there’s some action I could take that I haven’t yet (e.g., practice a speech, study for a quiz, do more research). As soon as I act, I feel better.

You can just do things. Rather than waiting for a gatekeeper or authority figure to tell you what’s possible, pursue what you want. Or, as puts it, take permissionless action.

“Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is, everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.” -Steve Jobs

Live with a maniacal sense of urgency. Tomorrow is better than next week, and today is better than tomorrow. If a task will take five minutes or less, just tackle it now.

“Urgency is the best predictor of personal success.” -Shane Parrish

Be a nonfungible human. Own your weirdness. It’s not only the best way to be remembered, it’s also the only way to live a truly authentic life.

“I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.” -Paul McCartney

Commit to the bit. Life is more fun when you lean into the crazy moments. Two examples: If you’re singing karaoke, stand on a chair and belt it out. Or if you’re playing games with your nieces or nephews, go all-in on the imaginary world they’re creating, just like a kid would. Think like an improv comedian: commit to the bit. Don’t hide the fullest parts of yourself.

Clarity = Speed. In work and life, the greater clarity you have, the faster you’ll be able to move. This is especially true in leadership. If your team knows what’s expected of them (e.g., clear job descriptions, defined expectations), they’ll move much faster.

Stoicism → Control What You Can Control

Choose optimism. When I was 17, I met two bankers at a community event. One told me he had a boring, stuffy job pushing papers. The other told me she had the best job in the world: she got to help people buy their first homes. I looked them up on LinkedIn afterward, and they both had the exact same job. Perspective is everything.

“I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” -Martha Washington

Realize that you’ve always held the key. Most of the time when I struggle to complete something, the issue is internal—not external. I am my own biggest problem. The issue is my own lack of courage, initiative, or creativity. I hold the key.

“We are the prison guards of the jail that we’re complaining about.” -Chris Williamson

Don’t complain. Find a way. It’s easy to wallow when life doesn’t go the way you want. When that happens, give yourself five minutes to wallow, then get back to work. It’s possible that the challenge you’re facing just opened up a new opportunity for growth or a new vector of attack you can use.

"There are those who see what should be, and complain that they do not get their due. And then there are those who see what is, and figure out how to use it to their advantage. Or at the least, overcome it." -James Islington (The Will of the Many)

Everything comes back to Intention and Obstacle. Screenwriter Aaron Sorkin says Intention and Obstacle drive every memorable movie: someone wants something, and something is standing in their way. But that’s how life works too. In life, gain clarity on what you want and what challenges you’ll have to overcome to get there. Be honest.

Seek out intimidating foes. Winners become winners by training against difficult opponents. That’s not just true in athletics; it’s also true in life. Volunteer for the tough project at work. Challenge yourself with a home improvement project beyond your current skills. Sign up for a Spartan Race, even if you aren’t sure you can finish.

“The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.” -Rainer Maria Rilke

Live with centered ambition. It’s okay to have massive career goals, but you shouldn’t let those goals drown out more important aspects of life: family, friends, etc. Set massive goals but draw constraints for yourself of what you are (and aren’t) willing to sacrifice to achieve them. (HT: Barrett Brooks)

Subscribe now

Learn, Curate, Simplify, & Share

Writing and speaking are just forms of public thinking. They’re downstream from many, many hours of thoughtful preparation. That means making a great speech is more about private preparation than public eloquence. If you’ve put in the time to brainstorm, outline, and prepare, the end product will be solid.

“All good public speaking is based on good private thinking.” -Scott Berkun

…And your private thinking is a result of what you choose to consume. That means one of the most important things that will govern your life as an entrepreneur, artist, writer, pastor, teacher, leader, or musician is the books, podcasts, movies, and social media accounts you allow into your brain.

“Almost every idea you have is downstream from what you consume...The person who creates better information flows gets better thoughts.” -James Clear

Breathe in, breathe out. Consuming and creating are both necessary for anyone who wants to put a mark on the world. Consuming is like breathing in: you inhale good ideas from others through the books you read, the podcasts you listen to, and the conversations you have with thought-provoking people. But then, you must breathe out: exhale the lessons you’ve learned by sharing them with others.

Speak more about failures than successes. Stories about wins tend to be boring. (It’s hard to cheer for someone who’s tooting their own horn.) Your most powerful and engaging stories will be the ones you earn through your mistakes. They’re humanizing and will make others want to root for you.

Quantity → Quality. Many creators debate whether quantity or quality is paramount, but that argument is a false dichotomy. Often, the best way to create something of quality is to create a lot of stuff.

The specific is the universal. The surest way to connect with a crowd is to tell a personal story, and the best way to inspire someone to donate is to talk about a single person in need. To appeal to the masses, find the most specific example you can.

Think small to go big. In a world of social media and mass marketing, it’s tempting to think the best way to sell something is to blast it out to the masses. But the best way to drive an initiative is often to start with one-on-one conversations. Focus on individuals, not the masses.

Candid & Kind

When sharing feedback: heart first, mouth second. People can always tell whether your heart is in the right place. If it is, you’ve won half the battle already. And the more you care, the harder you can go with your message.

In an argument, the more you can empathetically feel why someone else is frustrated, the more you can tamp down your own frustration toward them. If two people are upset with each other, they’re usually coming at a problem from different angles. Once you understand their angle and can feel what they’re feeling, it’s easier to empathize and begin finding common ground instead of getting mad at them.

Disagree without being disagreeable. Doing so is the highest bar for communication. If you can do that, everyone will want to work with you: colleagues, clients, etc.

Say what others refuse to say. Ask the question that others are scared to ask. Speak truth and avoid political games.

“The easiest way to be interesting is to be honest.” -Scott Berkun

Tough conversations are worth the stress. Most relationship issues derive from a hesitancy to say something that needs to be said. Feedback is often one minute of scary for months of benefit.

“Conflict avoidance slowly rots your whole life, and many people are about eight awkward discussions from a much-improved existence.” -Sasha Chapin

Ladder up to vulnerability. Small talk sucks, but too often, we get stuck in it because no one is willing to make the first move by saying something honest and vulnerable—something that breaks the script. Something that leads to a real conversation. Wouldn’t it be cool if you could be that person?

“Connection starts the moment someone decides to stop protecting themselves and make it safe for others to do the same.” -Francesca Tighinean

Misc.

Don’t pinch pennies while flushing nickels. Too many people try to save money on small things while not realizing the bigger picture.

Give others skin in the game. People care most about a task when they have ownership over it. This is one of the most important lessons in leadership.

“Good leaders give their teams a reason why they might want to do things that they want done. Make sure your vision and your goals are not just yours, but theirs too.” -Prakash Iyer

Use time to buy money until you can use money to buy time. Early in a career, it’s natural to work more hours to make more money. But as soon as you’re able, flip that dichotomy: spend money to buy back time (e.g., paying for food delivery, hiring a neighborhood kid to mow your yard). Use your time leverage to invest minutes in the things you care about most, like spending time with family and friends, pursuing a hobby, or developing a new skill.

Flip the arrow of money. For almost my entire life, I’ve viewed a job as a necessary means to make money. But I’m trying to reverse that mindset: to make enough money to pursue the type of work I most enjoy—the work I feel called to do.

“Is the purpose of work to make money? Or is the purpose of money to be able to do one’s work?” -Jim Collins (What to Make of a Life)

Remember that emotion guides decisions, and rationality justifies them later. Don’t forget that people buy out of emotion—and this applies to not only products but also things like ideas and worldviews. The best way to convince someone is often to speak to their heart, not their head.

Those are the 39 top lessons I’ve learned this year.

What has life taught you recently? I’d love to hear about it. Drop me a comment below.

Read More Life Lessons:

I’ve collected thousands of quotes over the past 10+ years.

Here are the best ones I’ve found about building habits...

“Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.” -Gustave Flaubert

“Amateurs have a goal. Professionals have a process.” -Shane Parrish

“Almost every result you get is a lagging measure of the habits that precede them. So, your physical fitness is a lagging measure of your training habits. Your bank account is a lagging measure of your financial habits. Your productivity is a lagging measure of your prioritization habits.” -James Clear

“Routines are a godsend when it comes to doing something hard.” -Angela Duckworth

“Be boring. (It’s the only way to get work done.)” -Austin Kleon

“We must make automatic and habitual, as early as possible, as many useful actions as we can...The more of the details of our daily life we can hand over to the effortless custody of automatism, the more our higher powers of mind will be set free for their own proper work.” -William James

“Behaviors that get immediately awarded get repeated, and behaviors that get immediately punished get avoided.” -James Clear

“Commit to your habits to make them rituals. If it’s not important, never do it. If it’s important, do it every day.” -Derek Sivers

“Decide what you want or ought to do with the day, then always do it at exactly the same moment every day, and passion will give you no trouble.” -W.H. Auden

“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” -Jerzy Gregorek

“One of the best rules I’ve heard as a writer is that the way to write a book is by producing ‘two crappy pages a day.’” -Ryan Holiday

“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.” -Octavia Butler

“People do not decide their futures. They decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.” -F.M. Alexander

“People don’t reach their potential on accident. The secret to success can be found in people’s daily agendas.” -John Maxwell

“Protect the process and the results will take care of themselves.” -Dan Brown

“The difference between an amateur and a professional is in their habits. An amateur has amateur habits. A professional has professional habits.” -Steven Pressfield

“The purpose of a habit is to remove that action from self-negotiation. You no longer expend energy deciding whether to do it. You just do it. Good habits can range from telling the truth, to flossing.” -Kevin Kelly

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” -Aristotle

“We don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems.” -James Clear

“What we do on some great occasion will probably depend on what we already are; and what we are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline.” -H.P. Liddon

“You absolutely need habits to function. You cannot solve every problem in life as if it is the first time it’s thrown at you.” -Naval Ravikant

“You need ritual, not inspiration. Every day, no matter what, you must practice. Your practice ritual is your highest priority—an unbreakable commitment. Stubbornly protect this time against the demands of the world. Once you get momentum, never stop. It’s easy to continue, but if you stop, it’s hard to start again. Never miss a day.” -Derek Sivers

“Creativity is a habit, and the best creativity is the result of good work habits.” -Twyla Tharp

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.” -John Maxwell

“I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.” -W. Somerset Maugham

“If you want to predict where you’ll end up in life, all you have to do is follow the curve of tiny gains or tiny losses, and see how your daily choices will compound ten or twenty years down the line. Are you spending less than you earn each month? Are you making it into the gym each week? Are you reading books and learning something new each day? Tiny battles like these are the ones that will define your future self. Time magnifies the margin between success and failure. It will multiply whatever you feed it. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy.” -James Clear

Unlike most people, I didn’t get addicted to reading because it’s fun (even though it is). I got hooked when I realized books could help me improve many aspects of my life.

Countless times, I’ve read about a topic one day, only to have that knowledge immediately help me solve a problem a day or two later. That immediate feedback loop is invigorating, and it’s kept me coming back for more.

That’s one of the biggest reasons why I read much more nonfiction than fiction. I love learning new principles I can apply to my life and work. But the only way to harness those kinds of meaningful insights is to read deeply, which is the purpose of this post.

Here are 10 tactics to get more out of what you read:

1. Read with a pen in your hand

"A great reader respects the book by NOT respecting the book." -Ryan Holiday

I used to treat my books no differently than a library book. It felt wrong to deflower the pages with my scribbles, so each margin remained milky white. But then I heard that many of the top readers throughout history took copious margin notes, so I gave it a shot. My reading comprehension skyrocketed. Writing in the book helps you fully immerse yourself in the text and signals to your brain what’s important.

2. Use the book’s back cover to create a one-page cheat sheet

“Never read without taking extracts.” -Pliny the Elder

After I started underlining books and writing in the margins, I took it a step further. Now, for the past decade, I’ve also been writing notes in the back cover. I jot down my top takeaways, along with their respective page numbers (as depicted below). This creates a powerful one-page cheat sheet I can reference later whenever I want to refresh my memory about that book. Now, whenever I want a two-minute refresher on a book, I just pull it off the shelf and open the back cover. Voilà!

3. Write timelines to put events in context

"That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of the lessons that history has to teach us." -Aldous Huxley

In many nonfiction books like biographies and historical books, it’s helpful to write a short timeline in the back cover so you can keep track of what happened when. This can also help you memorize a few important dates, in case you want to reference those later. (For example, in the picture above, you can see that I boxed a few of the critical dates I want to remember in the timeline.)

4. Argue with the author

"Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who'll argue with you." -John Wooden

As an intellectually independent and curious person, it should be uncommon for you to agree with every single thing an author says. Approach everything with healthy skepticism and critical thinking. When you find yourself disagreeing with an author’s point, jot a note in the margins. Engage in literary discourse with the author through your marginalia.

5. Choose at least one idea to put into practice immediately

“Action without information is chaos, but information without action is a waste. The key to unlocking our full potential lies in finding the perfect balance between the two.” -Pat Flynn

Effective reading is like breathing: you must breathe in and breathe out. You inhale ideas and exhale action. Just like in real life, it doesn’t work to only inhale and never exhale. You must enact what you learn so it doesn’t leave you bloated with unapplied knowledge and facts. Pick at least one practical idea from each book that you can immediately apply in your life.

6. Don’t read while lying down

“…the feel and appearance of a book when combined with a literate person in a straight chair can create a spiritual condition of priceless depth and meaning. This form of meditation…may be the greatest treasure at the core of our civilization.” -Kurt Vonnegut

In college, I fell asleep every time I read my assigned books. My persistent napping convinced me that books must be boring. Like an idiot, it took me years to realize that I was only falling asleep because I was reading while laying on my bed. After I kicked that habit and began reading at my desk, I stopped napping. (Btw, sitting at a desk also helps enable better note-taking. Win-win.)

7. Physical books > e-Books

“Though many people find they can read faster on a device, the distractions, like social media scrolling, advertisements, and email notifications, often hinder memory retention. Physical books provide an immersive experience, resulting in readers who absorb and recall the content more effectively.” -Heather Rose Artushin MSW, LISW-CP

As a big Barnes & Noble fan, I remember excitedly buying the Nook Color e-reader as soon as it launched. I joyfully downloaded a few books and pounded through them, thankful to have avoided adding more tomes to my already-cramped bookshelves. But shortly afterward, a couple of friends asked me what I had been reading lately, and I realized that I couldn’t remember a lick of what I had read. Sure enough, a 2024 article in Psychology Today cites research that indicates reading comprehension is 6-8 times better when reading physical books compared to e-books. If you’re hoping to remember what you read, trust paper.

8. Summarize what you’re reading

"While we teach, we learn." -Seneca

Almost every day, my wife and I discuss what we’re each reading. I’ve noticed that my first synopsis of whatever I’m reading is often clumsy and disorganized. It takes me a while to distill the book’s themes and takeaways in my own head, so the ideas come out jumbled. But then, a few days later, friends or colleagues will ask me what I’m reading, and each successive synopsis gets more crisp. This act of discussing and synthesizing book takeaways is helpful for the learning process. Look for more opportunities to discuss what you’re reading to crystallize your takeaways.

9. Save quotes and stories in a commonplace book

“Scholars, amateur scientists, aspiring men of letters — just about anyone with intellectual ambition in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries was likely to keep a commonplace book. In its most customary form, ‘commonplacing,’ as it was called, involved transcribing interesting or inspirational passages from one’s reading, assembling a personalized encyclopedia of quotations.” -Steven Johnson

A commonplace book is a collection of ideas, quotations, or anything else you want to reference later. You can collect such information in a journal, second brain app, or even a box of notecards. Especially if you’re someone who frequently creates presentations, speeches, articles, books, sermons, lessons, or anything else that depends on saved knowledge, I highly recommend starting a commonplace book.

10. Experiment with new genres

"It is well to read everything of something, and something of everything." -Joseph Brodsky

It’s healthy to peruse other genres beyond your favorite genre. Doing so helps you develop a well-rounded perspective on the world—and it also can help you make connections between disparate worlds. More times than I can count, I’ve accidentally stumbled across the same person or event in multiple books around the same time, and the experience gave me a fuller understanding of that topic.

Example: President Lyndon B. Johnson came up in a book I read about social justice (because he signed the 1964 Civil Rights Act), then he also popped up in a U.S. history book, then I read an entire biography about him, then he came up again in a historical novel. The result was a latticework of information about LBJ that helped me understand him from multiple angles.

It’s okay if you don’t remember a bunch of facts after finishing a book. After all, the purpose of reading isn’t memorization, it’s osmosis. The concepts later ooze out of you in unexpected ways—taking the form of ideas, philosophical perspectives, or even changes in character.

The ten practices above will improve this osmosis process while also aiding your overall reading comprehension. Give them a shot to see which tips help you most!

*This post was originally published on .

I’ve collected quotes for many years. My database now contains thousands of them, and every month I add the best ones I find in books, articles, newsletters, TED talks, YouTube videos, podcasts, etc.

Btw, many of this month’s quotes come from ’s awesome book You Can Just Do Things. If you haven’t checked it out yet, you should!

Here are the best quotes I found this month:

“We read to know we are not alone.” -William Nicholson

“Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is, everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.” -Steve Jobs

“Only while sleeping one makes no mistakes. Making mistakes is the privilege of the active — of those who can correct their mistakes and put them right.” -Ingvar Kamprad

“As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” -Rumi

“Violent consistency is the only path to quality.” -

“People who get an unusual amount of work done are maniacal about removing things from their lives that others tolerate.” -Shane Parrish

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which more than anything will affect a successful outcome.” -William James

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” -Voltaire

“There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.” -Mark Twain

“All good public speaking is based on good private thinking.” -

“If you love ideas, speaking and writing are natural consequences. You know about history’s great thinkers because they either spoke or they wrote.” -Scott Berkun

“Optimism is not the belief that there are no problems. Optimism is a belief that we can fix the problems.” -Shawn Achor

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill (HT: )

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” -Attributed to Epictetus

“It is better to surround yourself with people who are better than you, so you can learn from them.” -Warren Buffett

“We’re taught that you need a publisher to write a book, a studio to make a movie, or a gatekeeper to deem you worthy. But the truth is, the tools to create and share have never been more accessible. The only permission you need is your own.” -

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” -Bobby Kennedy

“Tactics are many, principles are few. The person who understands principles can choose their own methods.” -Attributed to Harrington Emerson

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” -Judy Garland

“The Mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” -John Milton

“We work on ourselves in order to help others, and also we help others in order to work on ourselves.” -Pema Chodron

“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.” -Laurie Buchanan

“Writing is humanity distilled into ink.” -Unknown

“This feels hard because it is hard, not because you’re failing.” -Dr. Becky Kennedy

“If busyness is your drug, rest will feel like stress.” -Ian Simpkins

“On the days you only have 40%, and you give 40%. You gave 100%.” -Jim Kwik

“Winners quit all the time. They just quit the right stuff at the right time.” -Seth Godin

“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” -Benjamin Franklin

“The world is a very malleable place. If you know what you want and you go for it with maximum energy and drive and passion, the world will often reconfigure itself around you much more quickly and easily than you would think.” -Marc Andreessen

“War and Christianity are not compatible.” -Leo Tolstoy

“I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.” -Paul McCartney

“An idea is not worth much until it is shared. It is the sharing of ideas that propels society forward.” -Sir Ken Robinson

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” -Leonardo da Vinci

“There is no such thing as a quantum leap. There is only dogged persistence—and in the end, you make it look like a quantum leap.” -James Dyson

“Quality beats quantity, but the path to quality is paved with quantity.” -Jay Yang

“Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.” -Pablo Picasso

“Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we resort to to hide them.” -François de La Rochefoucauld

“Money’s greatest intrinsic value—and this can’t be overstated—is its ability to give you control over your time.” -Morgan Housel

“Part of what is happening when you spend 7 hours reading a book, is you spend 7 hours with your mind on the topics in the book, grappling with them, drawing connections, having thoughts you would not otherwise have had. And so without that process of grappling, without those hours inside that book, it doesn’t get inside you. It doesn’t impress itself upon you. It doesn’t change you. What reading and writing and processing information is supposed to do is change you.” -

Read more of my favorite quotes:

Because I worked in HR for years, I’ve heard about a lot of employee performance issues.

Needless to say, I wasn’t surprised several years ago when company executive Randy came to talk to me about a problem he was having with one of his new team members, Chris. (Both names are pseudonyms.)

Chris had only been at our company for one month but had already racked up an impressive list of detractors. Ten different people across multiple departments had complained about Chris’s attitude and lack of professionalism, and Randy was reaching his boiling point.

However, Chris had a unique skill set and everyone knew he’d be a tough person to replace, which led to Randy’s dilemma…

Should he fire Chris?

After all, Chris seemed like a nice enough guy. He was a bit awkward at times, but he was smart and technically proficient. He had a solid resume and an impressive list of accomplishments. Plus, it had taken us months of interviews to finally land someone like Chris. No one wanted to start another exhausting job search after we had just concluded the last one.

So Randy was wondering the same thing every other manager wonders in this situation, “Should I give this guy more time to turn things around? Or should I cut the cord right now?”

When Randy came to me with this question, I tried to suppress my immediate reaction to give advice. (I used to thrust my advice upon everyone, but I eventually realized that’s a horrible idea, so I now try to follow the coaching model rather than telling people what to do.)

So I asked Randy a question suggested in Jim Collins’s book Good to Great:

Knowing what you know now, would you enthusiastically re-hire this person?

Randy thought for two seconds, then looked at me and smiled.

“No,” he said. “I definitely wouldn’t re-hire Chris. He’s good at a lot of things, but he’s not the right fit here. I need to let him go.”

That single question brought Randy helpful clarity, and I’ve seen it bring the same clarity to other leaders multiple times. In fact, it proved to be such a powerful question that the company incorporated it into the performance review process.

We called it the “Duplicate Test” question and required every manager to answer it about each team member as part of their performance review: “Knowing what you know now, would you enthusiastically re-hire this person?”

Answering “No” didn’t result in automatic termination, but it did mean that the manager had to develop an immediate game plan to determine whether the employee was the right fit.

That game plan could be additional job training to see if the employee could turn the corner. (After all, sometimes employee struggles are the result of poor company training or support rather than any fault of the employee.) Or sometimes the manager would share candid feedback with the person and put them on a 30-day plan to improve performance.

But regardless of the next step, we found the answers to that question were always revealing.

This single question forced “nice” managers to confront reality, even if they normally struggled to say anything negative. It’s a much tougher question to dodge than standard questions like “How is this person performing?” or “What are this employee’s strengths and weaknesses?”

So if you’re in Randy’s position right now and you’re trying to decide what to do with a problem performer on your team, ask yourself the one question that has a unique and powerful ability to separate fact from fiction:

I was always better at buying journals than using them.

From the ages of 10 through 25, every time I saw a cool-looking journal at Wal-Mart or Target, I’d snag it with the optimistic intention of starting a journaling habit. After all, I’d always heard that journaling was a good way to self-reflect and that “When I was old someday, I’d be thankful to have those memories” (as the octogenarians at my church frequently told me).

So I figured I could propel myself into the habit by buying a kick-ass journal.

But alas, every time I tried to start journaling, my effort resulted in the same sad output: a notebook that contained 5–10 scribbled pages of boyish enthusiasm followed by 200 blank pages that reminded me how much I sucked at this whole journaling thing.

And so it went.
Journal after journal.
Year after year.

The only thing I had to show for my efforts was a bookshelf of awesome journals filled with not-so-awesome blank pages.

By the time I turned 30, I figured I wasn’t a journaling person.

The Journaling Challenge

Then, about seven years ago, my company ran a wellness challenge incentivizing every employee to practice self-reflection by journaling every day for two months. While discussing the challenge, my friend Christoph mentioned he had started using a system called “bullet journaling” (BuJo).

I learned that bullet journaling had a cult following online. Hundreds of Instagram accounts repped #bujo journaling products while thousands of people posted pictures of the fancy lettering and hand-drawn designs in their journals.

Those concepts didn’t appeal much to me, but something about BuJo did sound appealing. Christoph talked about how the system was flexible and could be tailored to suit many different preferences.

During my previous forays into journaling, one of the biggest issues I had encountered was that I couldn’t figure out a good way to group similar notes together. I’d write down an idea on page 2 of my journal, then think of something else to add onto that idea when I was on page 6. But I didn’t have any good way to string those notes together or find them quickly.

Christoph explained that BuJo had multiple solutions for that problem. He outlined a few of the basics and what had been helpful for him, so I decided to give it a shot.

Bullet Journaling (BuJo) Basics

I learned that the BuJo framework could be broken down into five core components:

1. The Index: A quick reference guide showing which page(s) contain each key topic

2. The Daily Log: Your catch-all log of what happened each day

3. The Monthly Log: Your list of activities going on this month

4. The Future Log: Your list of activities going on beyond this month

5. Collections: Random records of anything you want to track

BuJo creator Ryder Carroll describes BuJo as much more than a journaling practice. He calls it “a mindfulness practice disguised as a productivity system. It helps you organize WHAT you’re doing while keeping you mindful of WHY you’re doing it.”

Carroll provides an excellent overview of his system in this 4-minute video:

Modifying BuJo to Fit Your Needs

As I mentioned, I think the biggest benefit of BuJo is its flexibility. As an example of that flexibility, I don’t even use one of the core components mentioned above: the Future Log. I tried it for a while, but it didn’t work well for my workflow, so I axed it.

I’ve also modified all of the other components to align with my preferred note-taking style and how I get things done. I encourage you to do the same.

Let’s take a quick look at each one of the four core BuJo elements I use and walk through how each can help you organize your thoughts.

#1: The Index

In my previous journals, it was a nightmare to find specific notes later—or, at least, it would have been if I ever wrote more than 20 pages in each journal before quitting. Any time I jotted down a meaningful note that I wanted to reference later, I didn’t have a good way of signaling where it could be found.

Enter the Index. Bullet journalers usually reserve the first 2–4 pages of their notebook for the Index. This section is used to jot down the relevant page number(s) of any important notes, collections, etc.

Here’s a quick peek at the index of one of my past journals:

Now, whenever I want to locate notes from my last meeting with one of my mentors, add another movie to my list of film favorites, or refer back to an idea about the book I’m writing, I can quickly locate the relevant page number.

#2: The Daily Log

The Daily Log is where most of the action happens in the journal. It’s where you write down your random observations, thoughts, events, and memories from the day.

Now, before you can truly understand the power of the Daily Log, you first need to understand the BuJo concept of “signifiers.” A signifier is any little symbol or notation that helps you separate various types of notes.

I use a BUNCH of signifiers because I’ve found them to be a useful way of quickly tracking down the type of entry I want to find at a given point in time.

Unlike most bullet journalers, I put my signifiers in two different columns depending on what type of note they pertain to. I reserve the far-left column for strategic notes (e.g., big-picture ideas, projects, lessons learned) and use the second column for tactical notes (e.g., daily minutiae, gratitudes, new vocabulary words).

Here are the signifiers I use:

You don’t need to understand what all this stuff means. These signifiers are meant for me—not you. But the general principle here is that you can create symbols to indicate the various types of entries you plan to jot down in your journal, then use those symbols to quickly find notes later.

Here’s how it all comes together in a Daily Log page:

There’s a lot going on here, and you don’t have to pay attention to most of it. I’ll just call your attention to a few key things numbered above…

1. Beginning of Daily Log: Near the lower-left corner of the picture, you’ll see a headline that says “1/24/22 Monday.” That’s the format I use to begin each day’s log. I try to start most of my entries with three gratitudes, signified by the up arrows. You’ll also see a little stick figure, which is my signifier for exercise.

2. Standard Note: In the upper-right part of the page, you’ll see my standard type of note. I use an asterisk as my top-level note and a dash as my sub-level note, so all of the indented dashes are basically bullet points of the top idea.

3. Quotes: I love quotes, so I pepper them throughout my journal. The quotes you can see in the picture are from the book I was reading at the time: One Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. (Btw, that book is excellent, so you should check it out.)

4. Weekly Goals: Now that we’ve reviewed a couple of the basic entries I use, direct your attention to the upper-left part of the picture. Every week, I set personal goals for things I’d like to accomplish. I usually try to set goals for books to read, friends to reconnect with, things to learn, etc.

5. Vocab Words: Lastly, in the middle of the left-hand page, you’ll see a weird symbol that looks like a backward pilcrow (¶). That’s the signifier I use to indicate new vocabulary words I stumble across when I’m reading.

In case you couldn’t tell, I put a bunch of random types of notes in my journal—yes, even nerdy vocab words.

Here’s a brief sample of the types of things I record:

• Notes/takeaways from MasterClasses, TED talks, and conferences

• Topics I realize I don’t know much about that I want to investigate further

• Ideas for future articles or books

• Inspirational sayings

• Action items

Whatever is important to YOU should go in your journal. If you want to primarily use it for recording what happened in your day, that’s great. But if you also want to pepper in other notes, ideas, quotes, observations, or anything else, go for it! Make it your own.

The “bullet” part of bullet journaling refers to speed. One of the reasons BuJo is such an easy way to build a journaling habit is because it’s based on jotting down quick thoughts (like bullet points) rather than rambling paragraphs.

Subscribe now

#3: The Monthly Log

The traditional way of writing a Monthly Log in BuJo is to simply record a list of the events going on that month and the action items you want to complete that month.

As with every other aspect of my bullet journal, I’ve modified the standard BuJo format to my needs by making several changes.

My Monthly Log always covers a two-page spread. On the first page, I record a list of everything I have going on that month. It looks like this:

Note: I’ve blurred out some items to protect the confidentiality of a couple of my friends and specific events from that month.

At the start of every month, my Monthly Log begins as a blank list of numbers — one row for each day of the month. Then I gradually fill in a few of the upcoming events and details for the month.

But in addition to adding events in advance, I often add notes to a day’s record afterward to memorialize specific things from that day I may want to remember later. For example, there’s a random note on the 14th for “Walk in the rain” because that ended up being an unexpected highlight of my Monday.

And here’s what the second page of my Monthly Log looks like each month:

This page is based on the “don’t break the chain” productivity concept commonly attributed to Jerry Seinfeld. Here’s how comedian Brad Isaac described the concept:

[Seinfeld] said the way to be a better comic was to create better jokes and the way to create better jokes was to write every day.

He told me to get a big wall calendar that has a whole year on one page and hang it on a prominent wall. The next step was to get a big red magic marker. He said for each day that I do my task of writing, I get to put a big red X over that day.

“After a few days you’ll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You’ll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job is to not break the chain.”

I realized I could track a dozen of the habits I most wanted to build and record X’s for how many days I actually practiced that habit, which would give me visibility into how my habits were developing over time.

My habit list contains everything from getting 7 hours of sleep per night to walking 10,000 steps per day.

Relationships are also super important to me, so on the far-right side of this Monthly Log page, I track the people with whom I got to spend quality time each day.

If you decide to incorporate this type of grid into your journaling practice, your habit list will look very different than mine. That’s great! Use it to track the things that are important to you.

#4: Collections

You can use BuJo Collections to track lists of anything you want. I’ve used Collections to track quarterly goals, topics I want to write about, ideas for book titles, lessons learned from past jobs, and a host of other things.

Here’s an example of what a Collection looks like:

I love reading books about psychology and behavioral economics, so I used this collection to track a list of psychological biases I read about in various books. Someday I’ll probably use this list to write an article about the topic.

And here’s another example of a Collection:

You’ll notice that I ran out of room on the page above. Before I stumbled across the BuJo system, that sort of thing would have really bothered me because I never knew how many pages to allocate to a specific list or topic, so I’d either end up with (A) blank pages in my notebooks or (B) disjointed pages in different parts of my notebook that both referred to the same topic.

But with BuJo’s Index system (described earlier), I don’t have that problem anymore.

When I start a collection, I allocate a single page to it. Once that page fills up, I start writing another page—wherever I am in the journal — and simply add that page number to my Index.

So, for example, when I kick off my annual goal planning at the start of each year, I can rest assured knowing that if I think of additional goals later, I can simply add those new Collection pages to my Index, as shown below:

Collections are one of my favorite parts of the BuJo system. They’re extremely versatile, and thanks to the Index at the beginning of each journal, they’re also really easy to find later.

Applying BuJo to Work

Many of my same BuJo mechanisms carry over to my work notes. For example, I use the same signifiers. (As you may have noticed in my signifiers picture earlier, I draw diamonds to denote action items. I color in the diamond once I complete the action item, which provides a nice little dopamine hit as I complete my work.)

But there are two key elements I incorporate into my work notes, distinct from my personal notes.

The first is that I’ve sometimes found it useful to draw a physical calendar in my work notebook to track my most important daily action items and weekly projects. Here’s a past calendar from June 2022:

And the second thing I’ve tried in work notes is dog-ear a page once I’ve completed all of the action items on that page. I picked up this trick from an old boss of mine (thanks Annie!), and it works like a charm. Since I started doing this, I’ve hardly forgotten a single action item for years.

As you can see in the images below, it’s really easy to tell which pages have uncompleted action items. So I can quickly scan the non-dog-eared pages to see which items are still outstanding and determine whether any of them are high enough priority to tackle that day.

Conclusion

As I’ve tried to express throughout this post, there are a million different ways to modify the BuJo concepts to your personal preferences. The specific mechanisms mentioned in this article have worked really well for me, and you’ll need to find the mechanisms that work best for you and your workflow.

But in general, I’ve been amazed by how useful BuJo has been in my life. It’s helped me reflect more on my life, keep track of what’s going on, and document what I’m doing in ways that make me far more mindful and present than I’ve ever been.

If you have any follow-up questions, don’t hesitate to leave a comment below. Or, if you’ve already been using BuJo or another journaling practice in your own life, please share your tips!

Happy journaling, friends.