There’s something that’s been on my mind this year. I turn 50 in November and this has provided a hugely valuable focusing point for me in all areas of my life and career.

Changes have been made. And will continue to be made.

That’s a good thing. (If you also read my personal substack Women on the Verge, you’ll know I talk about evolution and letting go of patterns and habits that no longer serve your identity.)

One of those decisions is that Lead with Intention is evolving.

Here’s what’s driving it.

After years of coaching, facilitating and working with senior leaders across sectors, two very distinct patterns have emerged in my practice. The challenges facing senior communications leaders (my prior profession), including invisibility, the late seat at the table (or non-existent seat!), the trap of being the trusted executor rather than the trusted adviser, are specific, structural and deserve dedicated, serious attention.

And separately, the patterns I’m seeing in ambitious professional women navigating midlife, seniority and visibility are just as distinct and need their own space entirely.

Lead with Intention has been serving a broad leadership audience.

What I know now is that broad isn’t where I do my best work.

So from this point, Lead with Intention is becoming a Substack specifically for senior communications leaders. Directors of Comms, Heads of Communications, and those on the cusp of that level who are navigating the shift from trusted executor to genuine strategic adviser.

That’s the work I know most deeply. It’s where I have the most to say. And it’s where I want to put my energy. This will be about quality thought leadership, structure and systems thinking and challenging coaching reflections for those on that journey.

We’ll be going deep. Not broad. And I’m excited.

For the senior women in my audience, feeling lost, invisible and at a structural disadvantage in a corporate world that was never built for us, something is coming that’s built specifically for you. I’m not abandoning that work. I’m giving it the dedicated space it deserves and I’ll share more about this on my TikTok and Instagram channels, on LinkedIn and on my personal substack.

If comms leadership is your world, I’m glad you’re here and I think what’s coming will be worth your time. (This Substack will provide deeper work, in addition to my weekly email newsletter for comms professionals.)

If it isn’t, no hard feelings at all. This probably isn’t your publication anymore and I’d rather you knew that than kept receiving content that doesn’t speak to your situation.

On the paid subscription: I’m moving Lead with Intention to free for the foreseeable future. If you’re a current paid subscriber, I’ll be in touch separately about a refund.

It may become a paid Substack again in the future, but that decision can wait.

The first repositioned edition will land in the next few weeks, after a well deserved break at Easter. Less frequent, longer form.

Thanks for being here and thanks for over 3 years of Lead with Intention v1.0!

Here’s to the next,

Louise

Today I want to explore one of the problems I’m seeing many of my coaching clients (all leaders in their fields) dealing with.

“Louise, I don’t have time to think anymore.”

Let me explain why this is happening and why it’s so dangerous (oh and what you can do about it!)

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This is one of the most common conversations I have in my leadership coaching practice and it goes a little something like this:

“I just don’t have time to think. Conservatively I have about 5 meetings a day and the rest of the time I’m either frantically responding to emails, dealing with team issues or inbound requests from stakeholders. I have all this important work to do in my role, but I end up postponing it or doing it in the evenings and at weekends. I feel burnt out and not fulfilled and I’m worried I’m not coming across as strategic. What can I do about this Louise?”

Here’s what I tell them…

Meetings have become a proxy for “trust” at work

Somewhere along the line, meetings became our default way of working with others (the pandemic is just one of those factors.)

And what I think is really happening is that we stopped trusting others to work in an asynchronous way. That something couldn’t be “trusted” unless it was done in full sight of others. That “invisible” meant “not happening.”

This is largely the fault of out-dated leadership modes, where visibility is another word for control and therefore, a lack of it can’t be trusted in the eyes of those who still believe this. Combine this with the increasing stakes and risks of modern working life (and we are living and working through some of the biggest right now), and meetings start to become a real comfort blanket.

NOT for the people that have to attend them. But for the leaders who insist on them.

So we end up scurrying from meeting to meeting and call to call, context shifting, re-arranging our faces, being “present” and then not having time to pee before the next one. Exhausting.

Is it any wonder your strategic capabilities are taking a hit as a result?

Meetings are also YOUR proxy for being VALUABLE

You may not want to hear this, but I need to say it out loud. We often think that being in all these meetings is necessary because that’s how we’ll show our value.

But how valuable is turning up to every meeting, even when:

• You don’t have a particular reason for being there?

• A member of your team could go instead (and gain that exposure for themselves)?

• You have nothing of value to add?

• You recognise it doesn’t need to be a meeting?

• You are only attending because the “right people” are in the room?

Try this checklist out for some of your meetings and sit honestly with the answers…

I’m not saying all meetings are bad or lack purpose. And of course, visibility is an important facet of your professional development and success.

But in the RIGHT meetings and in the right ways, for the right reasons.

Too many pointless meetings just to “check in”, “catch up” or go around the room for an hour while everyone shares their to-do list with a group that isn’t listening and couldn’t care less is a one-way ticket to boredom, stagnation, frustration and more.

As a leader you NEED time to THINK.

And we’re in short supply of this in our corporate world. Most of the leaders I coach are in their leadership position because they, uniquely, have a set of experience, expertise, skill and strengths that is sorely needed for the success of the business or organisation they work for.

Therefore, as leaders, we are often set strategic tasks that require time, focus and deep thinking, so we can apply our skill, insight and expertise to them, and solve problems to shift the organisation forward.

And then our calendars fill up with meetings and there is no time to think.

So we can’t apply ourselves in this way and end up being far more reactive and tacticcal than our role (and our experience) demands.

We use our emails (other people’s) as our to do list. And our meeting schedule as an indicator of the importance of a particular task or topic.

These are false indicators and we need to recognise them as such.

And let’s talk about the impact of AI

Ok just for a second. I’m no expert! BUT I want you to think about the type of skills and leadership strengths that will be required of us and seen as valuable in the world of AI.

Critical thinking skills. Judgement. Discernment. Horizon scanning. Empathy. Curiousity.

It’s hard to focus on those when you’re 5 meetings and 57 emails deep every day isn’t it?

So we know that time to think is a critical enabler - for leaders of today AND tomorrow.

But how can you get more time to actually THINK?

(Below for paid subscribers, is the exact list of questions I run through with my coaching clients when we are working on freeing up their time for more strategic impact in their leadership role.)

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It’s also been a really busy and fulfilling week of coaching and I want to share something with you today that came out of a coaching session I ran this week, because I think it might land for a lot of you.

And it’s something I really grappled with in my own corporate career.

I was working with a senior leader. Brilliant. Experienced. Genuinely good at their job.

And they said something that I hear, in various forms, at least once a week:

“I keep being brought in too late. By the time I’m in the room, the decision is already made.”

AND

“I don’t feel as if the CEO really sees me as a strategic advisor. I know I’m helpful, but how can I go beyond that to be trusted counsel?”

Sound familiar?

It certainly rang a lot of bells for me. As a Director of Communications, this was often how I felt.

At its heart, this is about whether, when you do get into the room, you sound like an adviser or like someone who is there to take notes and take action based on what the CEO tells you to do.

If you want the former, let’s dig in. Starting with the million dollar question.

What do CEOs ACTUALLY need from us as advisors?

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I was prompted to write this by considering a piece of advice that is often shared in my former profession of Communications and PR. And it’s one of those really well-meaning pieces of advice that I think can get twisted along the way.

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No, I haven’t gone all “Shutter Island” on you (IYKYK), so don’t worry. My scalpel is safely tucked away…

We’re going to be exploring a growth mindset. What it is, why you need one and how to start cultivating one.

But first! How are you getting on with some of those leadership rules worth breaking from my guest poster this week ? I’d love to know which ones resonated for you, so do leave a comment and let us know!

So what is a growth mindset?

Put simply, it’s this belief:

“It’s not difficult because I’m not capable. It’s because this is NEW.”

And...

“I can’t do this...YET.” (But I will learn and know how to do it in the future.)

It’s the belief that your abilities, skills and expertise aren’t fixed or frozen in time, but that you are capable of learning and developing and mastering them over time, evolving and growing constantly.

Why am i talking about this today? It’s because having a growth mindset is one of the things that employers are looking for as they hire senior Communications leaders, according to the latest market report from recruiter Ellwood Atfield.

And even if you don’t work in Communications (and I know many of you don’t), I’d still bet that this is on the list for any organisation or company looking for their next leaders.

Growth mindset stems from work done by pyschologist Carol Dweck (here’s her TED talk on it) and I use it often in my coaching and in workshops and public speaking.

Why is having a growth mindset so important in your career?

Here’s why.

Read more

I know Lee because we both used to work as Directors of Communications in the NHS. And because we both eventually realised that some of the “norms” we were expected to a) respect and b) blindly follow, weren’t actually what “effective leadership” meant to us. The old-fashioned “command and control” culture for one!

Lee has a lot to offer us in terms of challenging our pre-conceptions (and the cultural and corporate conditioning that goes on to shape them in the first place) around career, management and leadership. So give her a follow and subscribe to her substack if you’re interested in learning more.

Today, Lee shares her take on the leadership rules you DO NOT have to follow (even if you think you do.) This is a free guest post, so please do share your thoughts and share this if it resonates!

I’ll be back on Thursday with more authentic and effective leadership advice that may just touch on breaking some of these rules too!

Louise

Over to Lee…

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The leadership rules you don’t have to follow

For a long time, I thought I had to become a completely different person to lead.

I worked in complex organisations, with layer upon layer of hierarchy, and I saw similarities in those rising to the top – it became my silent rulebook of ‘how to get ahead’.

If I wanted to be taken seriously, especially as a young woman… an introvert… the most senior specialist in my field… I had to fight against all my natural urges.

I believed I had to be harder, louder, faster, more confident. Basically, less me! It was exhausting.

The unspoken rule: you can’t be yourself and succeed.

It took its toll. I may have had the job title and pay packet as a reward for my performance, but I felt increasingly uncomfortable. I’d replay conversations and scenarios. I felt lost. I didn’t know who I was, far less what type of leader I wanted to be.

It wasn’t an overnight shift, but the more I questioned the so-called rules I was following, the more my actions met my values. I leant into my quiet confidence, I brought my personality into work with me, I pushed back against the BS and I proved that I could still be successful (and more respected).

Our view of how we need to be at work is shaped by so much – what we saw growing up, the people we work with, the portrayal of leaders in the media. We’ve absorbed the idea that strong, great leadership comes with sharp elbows, a dominant personality and a dash of arrogance in lieu of confidence.

I’ve come to realise that’s a myth.

Most of the leaders I work with aren’t struggling with skill or knowledge (although they might think they are). They’re struggling with the invisible rules they think they must follow.

These rules are fears dressed up as professionalism. Fear of rejection, of failure, of being judged, exposed, seen.

Unlearning isn’t about being rebellious. Nor is it self-improvement. It’s about reclaiming your agency – choosing who you are as a leader, rather than copying who seems to win. I encourage this through tiny experiments, the sort of adaptations that are low risk but help you shift into the way you want to be.

And let’s be honest not every organisation is psychologically safe. Some systems reward performance over authenticity. Unlearning there isn’t about dramatic change. It’s about conscious choice. Sometimes that means tiny shifts. Sometimes it means building leverage. Sometimes it means deciding the environment is the problem - not you.

Let me share five leadership rules you might have inherited and what can change for you when you question them:

Rule 1: “If I’m not the loudest, then I’m not leading.”

We’ve all been in those meetings where most of the conversation is based on people speaking to be seen, rather than anything of substance.

We think showing presence is in our volume. Authority is in how long we hold the floor. Confidence is getting in there first.

So, we talk more than is needed. We overprepare. And always fill the silence because we worry what it says if we don’t.

But normally the loudest voice isn’t the most useful one. Quiet leadership isn’t about shrinking away; it’s about choosing when you speak and making it count. Holding the tension to allow others to think. When I did this, people paid attention because they knew I didn’t waste my time or my words.

💭 Ask yourself: Where are you speaking to prove yourself instead of to move something forward?

🧪 Mini experiment: What would happen if you spoke 10 or 20% less in your next meeting?

Rule 2: “If I don’t know, I’ll be exposed.”

This one isn’t just saved for the workplace, it often shows up in other areas of our lives too. The voice that says, “I must have the answer”, “doubt is weakness”, “uncertainty = incompetence”.

We put our self-preservation armour on. We perform certainty. We pretend we’re further along than we are. We suffer in silence, fearing the threat of being labelled a fraud.

What you become is reactive.

Strategic thinking requires curiosity. It welcomes the unknown.

💭 Ask yourself: Where are you performing certainty instead of practising curiosity?

🧪 Mini experiment: What would happen if you said: “I’m not sure yet, can we think this through?” instead of rushing to an answer?

Rule 3: “Busy means valuable.”

Are you even a leader if you’re not taking part in a pissing contest around whose diary is the busiest?

Back-to-back meetings. Taking work home. Always available. It’s a status symbol for some.

We’ve internalised the idea that we have to stay busy to show the value-add.

But it often means we’re working in the weeds and giving very strong signals to our teams that we don’t trust them. Plus, our chaos is catching!

Busyness isn’t leadership. It’s fast track to exhaustion!

Strategic leadership requires space. And quiet leaders can thrive with space.

💭 Ask yourself: Where are you performing busyness instead of practicing leadership?

🧪 Mini experiment: What would happen if you blocked one hour in your diary to think this week? Protect the boundary and notice what happens.

Rule 4: “If I’m clear and direct, I’ll be disliked.”

How many times have you softened a message, over-explained or apologised for asking someone to do their job?

We do it, because we think we must be agreeable to others if we’re to be accepted.

But our lack of clarity creates ambiguity and confusion.

You can be nice and still make hard decisions. Boundaries don’t need to have sharp edges.

💭 Ask yourself: where can you be clearer in one sentence, than careful in several?

🧪 Mini experiment: What would happen if you didn’t apologise when you next ask someone to do something for you?

Rule 5: “To succeed, I have to become someone else.”

This sits quietly underneath all the other rules. It’s telling you that you’re not enough as you are.

You end up copying others. Editing yourself. Performing as someone else. Like I did. It becomes a costume you put on and in time you forget who’s inside.

But we know connection – with our staff, our clients, our communities – can only come when we’re ourselves.

💭 Ask yourself: What part of you have you edited – or muted – at work?

🧪 Mini experiment: If you stopped performing for one day, what would change? Pick one thing and try it for a day.

Unlearning isn’t about rejecting authority, being disrespectful or misbehaving. It’s about noticing the rules you’ve absorbed and deciding if they still serve you. If you discover the only way to lead as yourself is to go elsewhere - that’s data too.

Leadership – like unlearning – isn’t passive, it’s intentional.

You don’t have to act like an arse or leave your personality at home.

You do have to decide who you want to be.

Leadership stops feeling like a performance when you stop following someone else’s rulebook.

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About Lee Griffith and (Un)Learning

Lee Griffith is the founder of sunday skies and an (un)learning coach for people who care a lot. She helps purpose-led leaders, founders and change-makers unlearn the invisible rules shaping how they work and live, so they can reclaim their agency and build a business and life that feel like them. Join the (un)learning community and get her free 30-Day FLIP – filled with unlearning prompts and experiments – at https://unlearninglife.substack.com/welcome

And if you’re an international reader, I’d love to know what your favourite local holiday is and why - because I’m curious nosy. Reply and let me know, and I’ll celebrate them all ;)

Ok, let’s get to it. You saw the headline today right? You wondered, has Louise possibly drunk TOO MUCH coffee and it’s gone to her head? Well no. And yes.

I want to get real today.

One of the things I see most often in my leadership coaching practice is this.

The helpful trap

Ambitious, senior, highly expert and capable people, not getting promoted into the leadership role they want and deserve.

Because they’ve inadvertently crawled into a trap of their own making.

They’re so helpful, so amenable, so indispensable where they are, that their employer doesn’t want to promote them, lest they lose one of their hardest working soldiers.

How on earth could they fill the gap when you’re doing the work of at least three people, uncomplainingly, and with such a high level of competence and commitment?

Sound familiar?

If you’re nodding your head, you’re in the right place.

Why does this keep happening?

It’s happening, because you’ve been conditioned to believe that your value lives in what you deliver, not who you are. And in how busy and helpful you make yourself, so that you’re seen as indispensable.

And because organisations have designed themselves around people exactly like you. Extremely competent, reliable, willing to carry more than your fair share without making a fuss about it.

You learned early that the way to prove your worth was through output. Through being the person who could be counted on. Through solving problems before anyone even knew they existed. Through making yourself indispensable.

And it worked. For a while.

You got promoted. You got recognition. You got told you were “so good at what you do.” And every time that happened, you doubled down. More output. More responsibility. More proof.

But here’s what nobody told you…

The skills that get you noticed as a high performer are not the same skills that get you seen as a leader.

Being brilliant at execution may make you indispensable.

At the level you’re already at.

Until someone comes along who can work even harder, even faster, with even more functional skill. (Hey, did someone mention AI?)

And it also means you won’t get promoted if there’s a “useful-shaped” hole you are already filling.

Because organisations don’t promote people who are too useful where they are. They promote people they can’t afford not to promote. People who’ve made it clear (through their behaviour, their boundaries, their strategic focus) that their value isn’t contingent on how much they produce.

And the worst part? Because you’re so busy, so helpful and because you’ve mistaken these things for being valuable, you can’t see what’s happening until it’s too late.

If you’ve just recognised yourself in every paragraph above, keep reading…

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But joy, music, expression, inclusion and belonging? That I very much understand. Did you love it? Let me know how it resonated for you.

This week, I need to talk about something that comes up all the time in my coaching sessions with aspiring and new leaders.

“Louise, I really need to learn how to delegate. I’m overwhelmed and overloaded but I can’t seem to hand things off to my team, so I’m drowning instead.”

Delegation. The easiest, hardest thing there is.

I bet when you moved into a manager position, someone spoke to you about delegating didn’t they?

“You’ll need to learn how to delegate in this role.”

“Delegation is a key skill all managers need to have.”

“If you don’t delegate, you’ll never deliver on everything we’re holding you responsible for.”

So you know it’s something that is a) going to help you be more effective b) is a sign that you’re managing well and c) is likely going to benefit your team as it gives them more autonomy and challenge to stretch themselves.

In fact, here’s an eye-opening stat: CEOs who delegate effectively generate on average 33% more revenue for their companies.

So we know that delegation leads to better outcomes.

And of course it does, because delegation is a leadership skill.

So why do we find delegating so hard?

One word.

TRUST.

Yes - that old chestnut again. The biggest single thing that keeps teams from performing is - as we know - lack of trust. (Shout out to Lencioni’s 5 Dysfunctions of Teams once again!)

Multiple things are really happening here.

• You don’t trust your team to do it.

• You don’t trust your team to do it well.

• You don’t trust your team to do it the way you would do it.

• You don’t trust your team to do it in a way that you would feel comfortable presenting to your manager.

• You don’t trust yourself to delegate effectively WITHOUT becoming a micro manager.

• You don’t trust yourself to know what to do IF you’re delegating effectively to your team.

That’s a lot of lack of trust.

How do you feel about this list? Did you nod? Shake your head? Wince?

At which part? Or all of it?

In a nutshell, we don’t delegate because the trust isn’t there - not just in our team, but crucially in ourselves. As you know by now, I believe that leadership starts with self-awareness and knowing what’s at the root of your inability or unwillingess to delegate is the very best starting point.

So sit with that list and identify what is holding you back from delegating.

Then let’s get to the science bit…

How can you delegate effectively?

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When will it stop raining?

I hate to be so very British about it and make complaining about the weather my entire personality, but here I am, doing that exact thing…

Answers on a postcard please (or email replies) as to when we can expect to see the sun. Fun story, when I lived in San Francisco, a doctor there told me I had some of the lowest Vitamin D levels he had seen for a while, but then said with a smile, “But then again, so do most British people I see.” Ahem.

Onto today’s topic. The one thing that we all dread as managers, but the one thing we cannot avoid (well we can, but as we’ll find out, that helps no-one).

Giving feedback

Yes, I know, you don’t want to talk about it. But we must. Giving good quality feedback is one of the most important gifts we can offer as a manager.

But we often avoid it don’t we? And here’s why.

It feels risky, like we might hurt the other person or damage the relationship.

But when we avoid it, we are merely storing up problems for the future. It’s a short-term vs a long-term payoff thing.

Why feedback feels so personal (even when it isn’t)

In theory, feedback is about behaviour and performance. In practice, it often feels like a judgement on someone as a person. It feels…personal.

So we avoid it, because we don’t want to be THAT manager. The one that sends someone to the toilets in floods of tears. You may also have your own experiences of receiving poor quality, personal, damaging feedback from your own managers that is shaping your feelings about it now.

But when we avoid giving feedback (where it is needed), we can end up compensating instead: fixing work late, stepping in quietly, or carrying risk we shouldn’t be carrying.

Worse, we are also preventing the person we manage from learning, improving and growing. From being at their best.

That’s not kindness.

It’s avoidance dressed up as care.

Instead I want you to re-frame what “care” means from you as a manager…

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First off, let’s get the important news out of the way first. Yes, I did get Harry Styles tickets (for Amsterdam and London!) I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I turn 50 this year and I am intentionally looking for joy whenever I can find it. Especially right now.

What are some ways you’re looking for joy this year? Reply and share your thoughts, I’d love to hear them!

Ok, today we are continuing our series on building better, stronger, high performing teams. Last week, I shared a blueprint for a really effective team culture off site for my paid subscribers, and I hope you found it valuable. Let me know how you use it if you have one of these sessions planned with your team.

Don’t forget, paid subsccribers get access to ALL of my leadership and careers resources, including this blueprint. I’ve curated some of the most valuable into one place as your starting point: Your Leadership Toolkit.

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Today we’re talking about one of those things that as managers, we often take for granted. But we shouldn’t. Because they can either help or harm our leadership credibility and integrity. And they hold the key to building one of the most important components (TRUST) in a high performing team.

One to ones with your team

Let’s get real for a second. Do you ENJOY holding one to ones with your team members? Do you think they enjoy them with you?

BE HONEST. I don’t think you do. And chances are, they don’t either.

I used to dread mine as both as a manager and a line report.

I saw them as a necessary evil, so it’s no surprise they never went as well as they could. Part of this was what I bet you struggle with too (lack of time, overwhelm), but part of it runs much deeper.

I often had trust issues with my line manager for example, (yes it all comes back to trust), so that showed in our interactions. Of course it did.

One to ones are a leadership tool in theory. In practice? Not so much.

In theory, 1:1s exist to support performance, development and alignment. In practice, they often drift into rushed status updates, reactive problem‑solving, or the first meeting to be cancelled when diaries get tight.

And yet, your relationship with your manager is the most important relationship at work. When it’s strong, people feel trusted, supported and motivated. When it’s weak or inconsistent, engagement drops fast.

Gallup research shows that employees who have regular, meaningful 1:1s with their manager are significantly more engaged at work. That’s not because the meetings are perfect, it’s because leadership is relational, and 1:1s are where that relationship is either built or quietly damaged.

Why most 1:1s miss the mark

Most managers don’t intend to run ineffective 1:1s. But a few common patterns quietly undermine them.

Meetings get cancelled because things feel “busy”. Conversations default to task updates (what I call “sharing your to do list” and something to be avoided at all costs) rather than thinking. Managers do most of the talking. Feedback is softened, delayed, or avoided altogether.

The result is predictable. Some people think they’re doing brilliantly when they’re missing the mark. Others quietly do excellent work and slowly fade from view.

Neither outcome builds an effective team.

So here’s the first thing you need to do, to improve yours as a manager…

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This week, I have been working in London for a couple of days and let me tell you, the excitement levels were HIGH. Including a police raid on the (very respectable) hotel I was staying in. It wasn’t me guv, honest…

Apparently, 2026 is the year of ANALOGUE i.e. getting offline and back out into the real world. I’m taking this to heart and have had a wonderful few days of coaching leaders, networking, dinners, lunches and delightful alcohol free drinks at the counter in bars (When I lived in the States, I LOVED sitting at the counter and still seek this out wherever I can.)

And if more face to face engagement is high on your agenda this year too, I’m here to help.

Let’s talk team offsites.

I know, I know, even the mere mentioning of this phrase has probably made you shudder.

I get it.

I’ve been in far too many really awful (I mean truly terrible - once we had to tour a submarine) team offsites. I’ve also been in plenty which were great fun in the moment, but translated to ZERO in terms of meaningful progress or momentum once the day was done. In other words, a very nice day out. And nothing more.

No-one has time for that. Especially not a leader (or a team) struggling with cohesion, communication, trust and performance.

A bad off-site can actually make these problems worse. But a good one? Can be the foundation for a more trusting and aligned culture of high performance.

Want the latter? Of course you do.

Today we’re continuing our mini-series on effective, high performing teams. Go back and catch parts one and two so far if you’re new here (and welcome!).

In today’s paid post, I’m sharing:

1. The coaching approach and thinking behind an effective team culture off site session

2. A blueprint and checklist for creating your own with your team

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But I want to start with something that too many well-meaning leaders get wrong about off sites.

They try and pack too much in.

So what I’m recommending today isn’t a strategy off site. Or a planning session. Or a creative one.

It’s designed to start nurturing a more cohesive and aligned TEAM CULTURE in support of higher performance.

How to approach your team off site like a coach

Remember last week, I talked about the 5 dysfunctions of teams and how lack of trust was number 1 on that list?

That’s what we want to address in this offsite.

So in designing it, I want you to think like a coach.

Your key question (and challenge to yourself) is therefore:

How can I nurture psychological safety so that we bring a sense of openness, curiousity, empathy and exploration to our session? (And therefore our culture.)

And here’s where you’re going to start.

(Don’t forget - paid subscribers also get access to my team offsite blueprint, included below.)

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I’m planning more regular guest posts here in 2026 - these are free and will hopefully help you discover more Substack writers that you love. When I’m thinking about what and who would make a great guest post for Lead with Intention, I always think about this:

“Is this someone who can help us explore leadership “behind the performance” and “through a reflective, thoughtful lens”?

Last year, I was thrilled to introduce Chloe Markham and her thought provoking essay on finding joy in leadership.

And today, I’m so happy that the brilliant Sonya Cullington is sharing her thoughts on the ethics of AI with us. I’ve known Sonya for a while and thoughtful, values-focused leadership is very much where she’s at.

Sonya is a cyberpsychologist and communications specialist, who works with senior teams to help them navigate the world of AI. As Sonya puts it:

“I work with leaders and organisations who know AI matters, but don’t want to rush into decisions that undermine trust, culture, or accountability. My work sits around helping leaders build sound judgement around AI, not tools or hype, but when to use it, when not to, and how to stay answerable for the consequences.

In other words, she is very aligned with the Lead with Intention mission.

Today, Sonya is helping us through the maze of AI ethics. A massive topic for leaders and organisations in 2026 and beyond.

Read her practical and thoughtful advice below, and take a look at her work on the future of a digital NHS.

I’ll be back on Thursday with a blueprint for your team reset in 2026.

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Three questions ethical leaders must ask before moving fast with tech

Sonya Cullington

Most ethical failures don’t start with bad intent.

They start with capable people moving fast, under pressure, assuming someone else

has thought it through.

When leaders talk about ethics and technology, it often drifts into theory. In reality,

ethics shows up much earlier - in the small decisions leaders make before anything

is rolled out.

These aren’t just questions for strategy sessions; they’re for the everyday

moments leaders decide whether to push ahead, pause, or ask one more

question.

Here are three that I think cut through the noise.

1. What problem are we actually trying to solve and for whom?

Technology has a habit of reframing the conversation.

What begins as “what do people need?” quietly becomes “what can this tool do?”

At organisational level, this shows up when something is adopted because it signals

progress, efficiency, or modernity, without a clear line of sight to the problem it’s

meant to fix. The result is often more complexity layered onto existing friction.

At leadership level, it’s the discipline of asking who this helps before asking how

quickly we can deploy it.

Ethics starts with purpose. Without it, speed becomes a substitute for judgment.

2. What judgement are we quietly handing over, and are we prepared to own the

outcome?

Technology doesn’t remove responsibility.

It just makes it easier to lose sight of where it sits.

Tools that draft, rank, summarise, or recommend don’t make decisions on their own.

But over time, it can become unclear which judgments are human, which are

automated, and who is accountable when things don’t land as intended.

At organisational level, this creates distance: the system suggested it.

At leadership level, ethical practice means resisting that distance.

Leaders don’t just approve outcomes. They own them, especially when a tool is

involved.

3. Who might this disadvantage, confuse, or exclude if we get it slightly

wrong?

Ethical risk rarely comes from dramatic failures.

More often, it comes from small assumptions made at speed.

Language choices, defaults, access requirements, and confidence with technology:

minor decisions can have outsized effects on people who already sit at the edges of

systems.

At organisational level, these impacts are easy to miss because they don’t show up

in dashboards.

At leadership level, they show up in whether someone pauses to ask who isn’t in the

room and who will carry the consequences.

Ethical leadership isn’t about predicting every risk.

It’s about noticing the obvious ones before someone else pays for them.

Ethical leadership isn’t about slowing innovation.

It’s about staying answerable, when things move fast, and when they don’t go to

plan.

About Sonya Cullington

I work with leaders and organisations who know AI matters, but don’t want to rush into decisions that undermine trust, culture, or accountability. My work sits around helping leaders build sound judgement around AI, not tools or hype, but when to use it, when not to, and how to stay answerable for the consequences.

Practically, that looks like advisory work with senior teams, leadership sessions, and short engagements that help organisations pause, clarify purpose, surface risk, and make decisions they can explain and stand behind.

I’m a cyberpsychologist and communications specialist, so my focus is always on human behaviour, trust, and how technology actually lands in real organisations.

Ok - if you were here last week (and new followers, welcome!) we kicked off a mini-series on building and leading high performing teams. This is one of the most requested topics from me as a leadership coach, both on social media and in my one to one and group leadership coaching sessions.

I can understand why. When you’re leading a team that lacks engagement, morale and purpose, you’re not going to be leading a team that is fully productive and performs well. And that not only affects your team and the organisation, it feels AWFUL for you as their manager or leader. And may also lead to some uncomfortable conversations with senior stakeholders.

Beyond all of that though, and there’s enough data to back us up here, there’s a more fundamental reason why we as leaders want to lead effective, happy teams.

It feels good. It’s deeply human. It gives purpose and meaning to our days and means we enjoy a challenging role more.

Reason enough in my experience. And by the way, if you’re an old pro here (thank you!), you’ll also know that I made a metric TON of mistakes here as a new leader. So this stuff really matters to me, as I don’t want you to have the same experience me (and my long suffering team members) did.

BUT FIRST!

I’m delighted to welcome another guest poster to this substack next week, who will be sharing her expert insights and possibly asking a few searching questions, about the ethics of AI for leaders. Obviously a hot topic and one I’m invested in myself, so I cannot wait! More next week…

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Onto today’s topic…

Why Trust is the foundation of every high performing team. Ever.

(Next week, we’re going to build on TRUST and talk about how you can start bringing your team together. We’ll build your ideal team offsite for bonding and culture development - don’t miss it!)

Quick storytime. When I was a leader in a PR agency (many years ago), I was a terrible leader. I didn’t have good role models to be fair. And I was new to leadership. I made so many mistakes.

This all came to a head one Christmas. Because I worked so hard and so intensely (like a machine, until the wheels erm fell off…) I never took enough annual leave. So when December rolled around, I had a lot of days to take or I’d lose them.

So I took three days off at the beginning of one week in December. I shopped, I went out, had a few wines, all was good.

Can you guess what happened when I got back to work three days later? Go on, guess…

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And this year, I actually started January ahead of myself, as I developed my own plan for 2026 back in November (if you were following along, I hope you were able to use some of my reflection and planning prompts too.) I enjoyed the process of making this plan so much - it covers more than my career and business, but extends to life, home, relationships, wellbeing, aaaaalll the things - that I made a template version of it available to anyone that might want it. Ideal if you’re a woman in midlife (because that’s what I am!), but useful for anyone wanting some coaching prompts and structure for 2026.

Buy my 2026 planner here.

I have LOTS of plans for this Substack in 2026, so I hope you’ll stick with me and thanks for being here! I ALWAYS want to hear from you, so do let me know what you’d like to see more of (or less of!) this year from me. And if you’d like more Lives, masterclasses etc.

TODAY we are diving into one of the most requested topics from this Substack and also in my coaching practice.

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How to lead a high performing team

As leaders, this can sometimes be the bit we take for granted. OR we confuse managing a team with leading one. OR we become accidental micro-managers.

Truth time. I was terrible at this in the earlier stages of my leadership journey. I made all the mistakes and learnt some hard lessons.

The good news? I can share those insights with you and what I learnt along the way.

And here’s where you need to start, if you’re struggling with leading a new team, or you have change on your team, or you know you and your team just aren’t in the right place. Or all three.

This first step may surprise you, but skip it and you’ll never become the trusted, credible and EFFECTIVE leader of a high performing team…

This is a paid for post with qualified coaching advice contained below. If you’d like to support this newsletter and get actionable advice for your career, then please upgrade here.

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You’ll read it on New Year’s Day. Perhaps through a haze!! And hey, who would blame you after 2025, am I right?

So I’ll keep it simple.

In my work as a leadership and careers coach, and following more than 20 years spent in corporate leadership, I hope I know a thing or two about good leadership. I mean, that’s what it’s all about for me. I learnt the lessons later in my professional life that I should have learnt as a new manager, and once I clasped these to my heart (and my brain), I knew that my second career needed to be one where I shared these insights and lessons with others.

Hence my career pivot into coaching and this substack.

But of course it turns out that our learning is never done. And it shouldn’t be.

Your growth mindset exists for a reason, and the most effective leaders? They grasp this, explore it and emerge better for it.

This year, I learnt a LOT about leadership, even as a leadership coach. And I hope that by sharing my reflections, you might take something valuable away too.

What’s next in 2026

As a reminder, paid subscribers (thank you!), get access to all my posts and leadership coaching via this Substack, PLUS what is now a giant repository of coaching advice, tools, tips and frameworks that will help you become a more effective leader.

In January, we’ll be exploring just what it takes to lead a team well. From the science behind high-performing teams, to the traps you can fall into even as a well-meaning manager, you’ll end the month clearer, more focused and more effective as a team leader. Your team will thank you for it. And so will your career.

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Read on for my own leadership lessons from 2025 and what you can learn from these too.

Let’s start with perhaps the most fundamental, and most important lesson, that you will never stop learning.

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I’m currently working on what i’m tentatively calling the High Performing Leaders approach, which is a structured way of shaping your leadership approach, building a high performing team and being seen as the leader I know you can be.

I hope this will be a series of articles, podcasts and videos right here on Substack - which will be available for paid subscribers and supplemented with masterclasses too.

So look out for that in the new year and let me know if that sounds what you need right now?

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Today though, I want to do two things.

Firstly, to congratulate you. You’ve made it this far. Towards the end of another year.

Take a moment - please - to reflect on everything you’ve learnt, achieved and enjoyed (yes, enjoyed!) in 2025 in your career.

And I know you’re tired. Feeling overwhelmed. Racing towards end of year deadlines, with perhaps not that much left in the tank. Perhaps there’s been an “urgent organisational change” dropped in your lap? Talk about timing...

I see you, because I used to be you. And as a leader, I wish someone had asked me, just once, how I was feeling and what I needed at this time of year.

So I’m asking you. Feel free to reply and share, or not, just know your work is seen and valued.

BUT - next year, I want that value to burn even brighter. For you and your career.

And for you to start embodying the authentic, grounded, credible leadership that your organisation needs from us.

If you’re ready to do that work, feel free to schedule a free call with me to chat about what coaching looks like for you in 2026, mapped to your goals. (It’s also a great time to ask your org for funding, as we complete annual appraisals and develop our leadership goals in a new budget cycle...)

Secondly, ask yourself these challenging (but necessary) questions before the end of this year…

Take a few moments to yourself over the next week or so, to reflect on the coaching prompts I give you below.

They’re powerful, challenging, maybe even confronting. But necessary if you want to make a change in 2026.

As James Baldwin once said: “Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

These prompts will help with that.

Here’s the first (the rest are unlocked for paid subscribers)

• How will you feel on Dec 31st 2026 IF nothing has changed in your career or leadership impact? And is that acceptable to you?

I’ll be back after Christmas with those exciting plans for 2026 and lots more leadership insight for you.

Stay well, relax, reset, reflect and enjoy!

Louise

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Today I’m sharing 25 leadership lessons, insights and coaching prompts from my coaching work in 2025. I’ve coached more than a hundred brilliant senior professionals this year - in all professions and around the globe.

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What they have in common (and why I know they’re going to rock their careers in 2026) is:

• A commitment to ongoing development

• A willingness to embrace their growth mindset (especially when it feels a little uncomfortable)

• They are self-aware and ready to reflect on themselves (their strengths AND their blind spots) in order to make faster progress towards their professional goals

(I’m currently accepting new coaching clients from mid-January onwards, so if you think 2026 is your year, then please do let me know. Reply here or book a free call to meet me and chat.)

Keep reading for my full list of 25 leadership lessons from 2025, but for free subscribers, I’m sharing the first 5.

25 leadership lessons from 2025

Here are the themes that came up again and again in my coaching sessions this year. Use them as reflections, prompts, or starting points for your 2026 planning and leadership development. Notice which ones feel uncomfortable (that’s usually where the growth is!)

1. Your leadership brand is formed long before you need it.

Most leaders only think about visibility after they’re overlooked. Your brand is shaped in the quiet moments: how you prepare, how you influence, how you communicate when no one’s watching.
Prompt: What three words would people genuinely use to describe how you lead today?

2. Stop waiting to feel ready. Lead now.

Almost every client this year told me, “I’ll feel more confident when…” You won’t. Confidence arrives through action, not preparation.
Prompt: Where are you delaying action while you wait for permission or certainty?

3. Your calendar reveals your true priorities.

You can say you’re strategic, but if your diary is full of firefighting and favours, you’re not.
Prompt: What’s one recurring meeting you need to decline, delegate, or redesign for 2026?

4. Influence is built through clarity, not volume.

The leaders who landed their points in rooms full of executives this year weren’t louder, they were clearer. They structured their thinking, simplified their message, and knew the “so what.”
Prompt: How can you make your next key message 50% shorter but twice as clear?

5. Being “quietly competent” is a career trap.

This was the theme of 2025. Quiet competence keeps teams running but careers stuck. Competence is the baseline; visibility is the differentiator.
Prompt: Where do you need to be more deliberate about being seen?

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I know December is a funny month at work. We’re often shuttling between end of year performance reviews and conversations that start with “let’s hold off on that until the new year” and in between all of that, we somehow also need to find the time for gift shopping, Secret Santas, school plays, carol concerts, family what’s app discussions arguments about what method of brining is best for the turkey.

It’s a LOT.

And yes, at the same time, I have also asked you - over the course of the last few weeks - to start planning ahead with more intention for 2026. Creating your vision, shaping your goals and removing some of the roadblocks that might be getting in the way of you becoming the leader you know (and I know) you can be.

That’s because January comes around quickly and with it, 2026 will already be underway. So if you can do some of this thinking now (or even over the festive break), then you’ll start the year with renewed clarity, purpose, commitment and motivation.

I know this works. And I know that January you will thank December you for finding some quiet space to explore what a successful 2026 in your career looks like for you and why and what you want your leadership presence to be. (By the way, if you are looking for an hour of that space with some expert questions to help guide you, then founding members to this Substack also receive a 60 min coaching session with me.)

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Today though - we are going to talk about taking everything you’ve pulled together so far in your 2026 career and leadership development plan, and NAILING your objectives.

Because let’s be honest - most of us are TERRIBLE at setting meaningful objectives that matter not just to us, but to the organisation we work for (and I include self-employed people here!).

In my corporate career, I used to get so caught up in “being strategic” with my goals that I often forgot to make them meaningful, tangible and measurable. Some go the opposite way and make their goals so tactical that that they will fail to be seen (or evaluated as) strategic.

I was also particularly guilty of “hitting the target but missing the point” where I achieved some beautiful sounding goals that ticked the boxes on paper, but didn’t make a ton of difference to the business I was working in. Sound familiar?

So let’s talk about goal setting in a way that really works. For you, for your team, for your manager, for your organisation and crucially, for your leadership development.

For paid subscribers, I’m also sharing a set of goals and target activities that are designed to support your leadership development specifically.

Turn meaningful goals into quarterly progress with OKRs

Forget SMART goals (very useful at the start of your career, but not when you get into the context and scale of your goals at a more senior level.) One of the most useful tools I’ve found for making career goals actually happen is the OKR framework: Objectives and Key Results.

I know OKRs get mentioned a lot in tech and corporate strategy, but stay with me. When you strip away the jargon, they’re simply a smart way to turn a big ambition into something you can measure and move towards.

Here’s the essence:

Your Objective is the direction of travel: the thing you’re working towards.
It’s broad, qualitative, and should feel motivating.

Your Key Results are the proof points. They’re specific outcomes that tell you whether you’re genuinely making progress. Not tasks. Not intentions. Evidence. (And I’m all about providing the evidence!)

What I love about OKRs is that they force you to answer a question most of us avoid when setting career goals:

“How will I actually know if I’ve succeeded?”

And crucially - how will other people?

Instead of vague ideas like “be more visible” or “develop strategic influence,” OKRs push you to define what visible or influential looks like.

They also work brilliantly when you break them into quarters. A year-long goal can feel abstract and heavy; a 90-day version feels far more manageable. For example:

• Instead of “I need to raise my profile internally,”
  you might set a quarterly Key Result like
  “Present at two cross-functional leadership meetings by the end of the quarter.”

• Instead of “I want to progress towards a senior role,”
  a Key Result might become
  “Complete three targeted conversations with directors about my development path.”

The shift is subtle but powerful: you move from hoping to progressing. From a wishlist to a plan.

OKRs bring your career development out of the clouds and onto your calendar, which is exactly where progress happens.

Read on as a paid subscriber for my list of OKRs designed to help you become the leader you know you can be in 2026.

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So this week - we are diving into part three of our series on how to plan for your most successful 2026 yet in your career.

Missed it so far? Catch up on part one - your 2025 in review and part two - creating your 2026 vision here, then let’s dig into the really meaty stuff.

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We’re going to actually start making a plan.

And this by the way, is the part where most people quietly stall - turning a bold vision into a plan that feels doable on a Tuesday afternoon in February.

This edition is your bridge between big goals and real-life, sustainable action. And it’s where I am focusing a lot of my coaching sessions with clients right now, as we examine and identify the habits, practices and commitment required to turn a hopeful vision into grounded reality for your career development.

One of the biggest mistakes I see aspiring and new leaders make at this stage of annual planning is jumping straight into long lists of goals - usually far too many, with no hierarchy, no behavioural anchors, and no connection to how their working life actually operates day to day.

This edition is intentionally different.

We’re going to slow the pace, raise the standards, and create a plan that reflects the leader you’re becoming, not the one who’s been firefighting her way through 2025.

Let’s turn your 2026 vision into a structure that supports you, stretches you, and still feels manageable. (And if you want more accountability for that, I’m here for you as a coach.)

Read on for exactly how you’re going to do it.

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Today we are continuing with our series on planning for your most successful 2026 in your career.

Last week, I asked you to start reviewing and reflecting on 20205 so far. Many of you may be going through end of year reviews and appraisals right now, so I hope that post was a valuable starting point for those conversations.

Importantly, I also asked you to reflect on your leadership behaviours as well as your achievements and goals. As we progress as leaders in our career, the gift of self-reflection and self-awareness is one that gives us more and more if we take the time for it. That’s also why successful leaders work with a coach - we offer the time, space and freedom (plus all the right questions) to help you reflect on and identify the habits and behaviours that will help you be at your best as a leader.

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This week, our series on 2026 planning continues with what I actually think is a critical part of the puzzle and one we often neglect.

What’s your VISION for 2026 as a leader?

This is the bit that quietly determines whether your goals actually happen, or whether they stay as good intentions you revisit in another year’s time.

This next section is for paid subscribers, and it’s where we shift from reflection into real, practical vision-building, the kind that genuinely changes how you lead. Let’s get into it.

Because here’s the truth too many of us don’t want to admit…

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