Where the heck have I been? Yeah, life has been lifing big time. The mechanics of my divorce (after being separated for eight years I might add) have been shockingly spirit killing. My ex has refused to sign a decree that stipulates he pay child support for the life of his disabled child. Even knowing that he has bizarre Ayn Randian philosophies and priorities that are sometimes appalling, I am struggling to understand what possible reasoning is at work here. Well, I should say that I am having trouble coming up with a reason that doesn’t make him a selfish asshole. He flounced off to find a lawyer, so things have been stalled for three weeks.

I am finding some refuge in my journal, experimenting with different types of interactive elements and using lots of watercolor. I’ll post more images of my summer art explorations at the end of the post!

Tomorrow I am going to start a new side quest, I am going to take some graphic design classes at the local community college. In considering ways I could generate income, while also being a full time caregiver, doing contract design work emerged as a possibility. 1 When I graduated from art school, photoshop was brand new and we did all of our photography in the darkroom. I don’t speak the current language of digital design. I know that analog is in right now, but even things done by hand need to be scanned and submitted with parameters I just don’t completely understand.

The classes are reasonable and I love learning, so this seems like a good way to expand my options. I am taking two classes, Career Exploration in Visual Communication and Basic Illustration.2 This course of study is considered professional and not academic, so I am sure to learn a lot more about actually making money than I did in art school.

I’ll add more images next post! I don’t want to overwhelm anyone! This might be a record number of self-portraits for me. Maybe my emotional state is leading to more navel gazing?3

I hope everyone else is having a less stressful end to summer, and if not, I am here for it, feel free to reach out if you need and ear (or an eye I guess?).

Love, Laura

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Thank you google. “As users on Reddit agree, navel-gazing happens when a story slows down because a character spends too much time trapped in their own head with long, boring thoughts.” I think that about sums it up

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Dearest Readers,

Happy solstice and welcome to the second half of 2026. As always, I hope this note finds you well. Welcome to the new folks, I appreciate you giving my posts a read and I hope you find a sense of connection here.

I have always loved to dance, although I am not that good at it. I have tried my hand at ballet, tap, ballroom, and modern dance, but nothing compares to being in a dark club, with the music thumping in your bones. Your soul expands to fill the room, then contracts until you are just your body and the music, finally set free.

All of that was so much easier before full adulthood hit. Still, I think it could be possible. I just need a mid-afternoon old lady nightclub with good air conditioning and no smoking…

We had a first taste of scorching Texas summer heat this week. I hid out inside and tried to keep a bandaid covering the biopsy scar on my sweaty décolletage. My fridge died last weekend and I am still waiting for my appointment with the repair guru. You would all be proud of me, I did quite a bit of adulting. I restarted my ADHD medication this past week. While I feel like it gave me increased motivation, it was largely unfocused. That is the next skill I need to work on. I appreciate that my friends let me rapid fire text blurt ideas at them without commenting.

Ya’ll, I am in a book…that is crazy town. The book sat on my desk for a week before I could open it and read my chapter. Am I the only one who walks around, trying their hardest to blend, to be low maintenance, to not take up too much space, while a little voice inside is screaming “LOOK AT ME!!” See me hurting, see me lonely, see me trying to find myself, to make a happier life. But also, nothing to see here….move along…

Anyway….I leave you with this emo photo of me and my friend Stephanie. In high school, she and I spent many weekends in the all ages clubs dancing. And I made you a little mix of what we would have been dancing to back in those days.

Take care of yourselves.

Love, Laura

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As always I hope my note finds you well and enjoying your days. I am still riding the struggle bus, but I am finding ways to lift my spirits. I think it is time to let my true whimsical nature be reflected in my house deco. I just ordered a frog shower curtain and a rug that looks like moss for the guest bathroom. Also, this might have to be my summer of craft. Diamond painting anyone? Maybe some latch hook? Let me know what your favorite craft escapes are when the world seems too heavy.

I finished my 100 day project! Well, I finished the quilt top, which was a lot, so I feel good about it. All hand done! I can’t wait to move on to the next steps.

My book club is about to celebrate its first anniversary, and pick the next twelve books. I had members send me books they were interested in reading, and compiled a spreadsheet for consideration. It has been an enjoyable project and there are definitely books on the list I will read even if they don’t become official club selections. Let me know if you are interested in the pdf and I will send it over.

We read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Unkindness of Ravens, and They Both Die at the End for book club. I thought they were all ok, both the Unkindness of Ravens and They Both Die at the End are the first in a series, but I don’t know if I would read on in either one. Tithe was an enjoyable break, I love reading about Holly Black’s dark fairies. I would love to see that world, it sounds visually delightful (and possibly terrifying).

Speaking of terrifying, Salvage the Bones was a really difficult read for me. I think this is actually a sign of successful writing, but I was so anxious on behalf of the characters that I almost had to stop reading. I keep reading that Ward’s novel, Sing, Unburied, Sing, the next in the series, is the best book of the 21st century, so clearly I needed to read first to prepare for the second.

Emma Staub has been a favorite of mine since I read All Adults Here, and This Time Tomorrow. My number finally came up in the library system and I am so excited to read it. I haven’t gotten very far, but so far we’ve got an aging boy bands (and fans) on a cruise ship. I will report back.

Are you reading anything good?

Not long after I moved to Austin, one of my neighbors interviewed me for a book she was putting together about PTSD. The interview was about my personal issues, but also about the mural I painted for the women’s shelter. That book is releasing this weekend, in conjunction with an art exhibit at La Pena Gallery in Austin.

I don’t know where one can purchase this book in the wild, but let me know if you are interested and I will get back to you. Of course I was feeling so much less vulnerable about when I was interviewed a year and a half ago, and now I am a bit self-conscious about it.

I was planning to do ICAD, I did one on the first day, and then things got hectic. I will definitely return to it. I have a lovely stack of pristine 4”x6” note cards waiting, and I am really inspired by what I am seeing from all of you who are participating.

Take care, Laura

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I hope all is well with all you, despite the madness happening in the world. I admit that I haven’t been staying up to date with news as well as it feels like I should.

I have really continued to struggle with my mood. I was already in a tough place and my ex dropped a bunch of bombs on me, and that didn’t help a bit. Gosh I love my kids, but their dad has not made my life better or easier in any way. And now he is leaving them to move in with a new love interest.

In many way he abandoned the younger one long ago, but the older one…This comes right as he turns 18 and prepares to transition to a more adult life. It would break my heart, but I’d let my son go with with his dad. My ex has a lot more freedom to support him since he doesn’t have the responsibility of caregiving my younger son, but he doesn’t want to go.

To say that I’m a big ball of rage, distress, and overwhelm would be an understatement. I’m having a lot of trouble getting past it (ie: stuffing it into the deep dark recesses of my mind so I can function as an adult).

I have been trying to get some of it out in my journal, but I haven’t been able to really cut loose. I am constantly working back into the pages from past weeks, but I thought I would share a glimpse into my illustrated journal in progress.

There have been quite a few Star Wars related prompts this month. That is one of my favorite things to draw, so that has cheered me up. I am hoping I can convince Augie to go with me to see the new movie next week.

I like the way my pages are coming out, but I feel like I am going through the motions. All I really want to do is curl up with the dogs and sleep.

Apologies for the blah post, but I am still here, taking it as it comes, optimistic that things will improve with time. I hope all is well with you.

Love, Laura

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Regulars know that I choose my post titles from the lyrics of the song that is on when I start writing (I have a large and diverse playlist). I try to just type on with no context, but today was the first time that I almost cheated. There were very few lyrics in this particular song that didn’t seem potentially offensive. The verse I chose is growing on me though, I might start self-identifying as thicker than a snicker.

You know who isn’t thicker than a snicker? My new foster dog! She is soooo skinny and has lost most of her hair due to a bad case of mange. She is the sweetest girl though. Very snuggly and loving. I am not sure she has ever lived inside before, she definitely isn’t potty trained.

The extreme lap action has put a crimp in my 100-day project progress. I finished all of my hexagons, and I purchased my batting and backing fabric. I still need to finish assembling my quilt top, hopefully I can find a safe place to sit this week to work on it (I am terrified of over-affectionate dogs leaping onto scissors or pins).

I went to my closest quilt store last weekend because they were having a birthday sale and I loved looking at all the beautiful fabrics and the quilts hanging on the walls! They offer all kinds of cool classes there too.

I had a small taste of anonymous fame this week. Some of you might remember that I painted a giant sunflower on a canvas for the Forensic Nursing waiting room at the women’s shelter. There was an article in the Austin Chronicle this week about the shelter, and the unfortunate way they are being affected by budget cuts that target services for women in Texas.

I dropped the painting off right before the new building opened, and have never had a chance to see it hanging on the wall. It wasn’t actually attributed to me, but one of my neighbors actually recognized it and texted me to say she thought one of my paintings was in the Chronicle. Sure enough there is!

I hope everything is well with all of you. I am your biggest fan, call on me for a pep talk whenever needed.

Love, Laura

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Please excuse my extended absence, I fell in a bit of a hole there but I am climbing my way back out.

The puppies moved on to their big kid fosters, away from mama. I miss them, but it is nice to have less house chaos. Two of them have found their forever families. The mama is still here with us. She is looking so much better. Her fur is shiny and soft and you can’t see any of her ribs. I am about to get a new medical foster. She was literally starving and bald from mange when she was found. It was touch and go, but she is almost well enough to leave the vet. I will introduce you when she arrives. Her name is Quinn.

My 100 day hexi quilt is coming right along. My plan is to make a quilt top that is 15 x 20 (hexis). I have been working on chains of 15, and I have completed 19/20! My closest quilt shop is having a sale this weekend, so I plan to go over later and look at the backing fabrics and the batting options. I have a metal/magnetic wall in my house that has been really helpful for keeping these organized!

I have been enjoying seeing all the 100 day projects on substack and instagram. So many inspiring things. Anyone else been seeing all the pictures of people who are collecting squares of paper and things from their daily lives? Instead of silently coveting theirs, I decided to start my own. I am calling it the Daily Detritus Files. I will share some photos in my next post. I have been trying to devise some kind of round robin exchange, where we could pass our journals around and they would come back with detritus from other worlds. Wouldn’t that be fascinating? Reach out if you are interested!

So, I have been struggling mental health-wise, and I know I am not alone. I am ok, feeling better. I have gotten through some of the things that I was really worrying about (having my kids evaluated by the school district, taxes), but I still have to do some things I am dreading. Fortunately I have my emotional support cat, my drawing friends, my dog walking posse, spotify, and my video games to keep me even. I am having an especially challenging stretch of co-parenting, which coincides with my oldest turning 18 (next week!).

There has been something freeing about losing a complete set of parents. It doesn’t take away the pain or the grief, but I think it is changing me in a good way.

Thank you all for being a silent source of strength. I hope everything is going well. I am here if anyone needs to reach out.

Love, Laura

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P.S. Template, what?? Has anyone made a template? I need to look into this!

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Pardon the weeklong hiatus, my house has been invaded by the cutest agents of chaos. Also, everyone needs to help me to practice saying “no.” Seriously, they are so adorable, but paralyzing.

I marked another square off my bingo card this week and went to vote early. I frequently allow myself to believe that I can wait until voting day and that everything will go according to plan and I will make it to the polls. My brain is a liar, that almost never works out. When my neighbors texted and asked me to meet them at the polling place, I peeled the puppies off of my lap and ran to join.

What am I reading you ask? I usually try to sneak a book from my TBR list in between my book club books. So I am reading The Correspondent, by Virginia Evans. Some people I have talked to have struggled with the format (the entire book is a series of letters to and from the protagonist), but I really like it. Disclaimer though, I have always been obsessed with letter, the post office, etc. I need to hurry up and get started on our next book club pic, Lawn Boy, by Jonathan Evison. The mom’s at my son’s homeschool coop are starting their own book club, and although I don’t really think I have time to add this to my life, I would like an opportunity to get to know them. I suspect they are my people. They are reading Parable of the Sower, by Octavia E. Butler.

I have been wildly successful (I just wanted an excuse to use this phrase) in getting my illustrated journal going again. I have been drawing almost daily, and resisting getting bogged down in pages that feel unfinished.

On a related note, the 100-day project starts tomorrow!!! I am still wavering. On the one hand I am afraid to lost the momentum I have in my illustrated journal by picking something that moves my attention in another direction. On the other hand ADHD and the desire to learn all the things. Here are the three (maybe four)1 things I am considering today:

• Give myself a challenge like “draw 20 minutes in journal daily for 100 days”

• Carve 100 pink erasers into stamps

• Spend 100 days working on animation on my ipad in flip-a-clip or procreate

Who has already chosen their project? What is it? How can be support/encourage/follow along?? Feel free to link your substack in the comments if you are joining in.

I am running terribly late, but I am thinking of you all and hope to hear from everyone.

Love, Laura

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1

Every time this rolls around, I am pulled towards doing 100 small abstract watercolor or gouache paintings.

There were some long days last week, but the time still flew by. The olympics gave me some warm fuzzies. I am sure this is completely inaccurate, but from the outside, there is a purity to it that makes me feel better about the world. We also had that other big sportsing event. Am I the only one amazed at how fast the NFL has become progressive? I am not a football fan, so I might have missed the in between steps, but it seems like just yesterday that Colin Kaepernick was black balled for taking a knee during the national anthem. The times have made me bitter and untrusting.

I am finally starting to get my illustrated journal mojo back. I am behind with my pics, but I have week one and two to share. I haven’t quite found the best logistics for painting during the week. It is a combo of cat interference and not having the room to leave things out and ready. It is a work in progress. I am still using prompts from Amy Cowen at Illustrated Life.

Let’s talk stickers. My step-mom didn’t understand why I would put stickers on my car. Over the years, whenever a trade in happened, she would give me the mom look and say “Now, we don’t have to put stickers on this one right?” Of course we did! I had a good set on my Toyota when I sent it on to its next family. I didn’t want to just replace them with the same stickers, but there are some things I am trying to say with the stickers I choose, and that hasn’t really changed.

All that to say that I was moving slow on restarting my sticker collection. On Friday, when I slid into a parking space at the UU church to pick up my son at his progressive homeschool coop (next to every other hybrid car in the area), he requested that I please put some distinguishing stickers on the car so he could find it! This will evolve of course, but here is what I have so far.

I feel like I am doing a lot of fidgeting with my stuff. My clothes, my car, my house. I am nudging things closer and closer to feeling like me. It is good that I am taking baby steps, since I feel like I am still trying to figure out who I am.

I haven’t been inspired to make any new digital mix tapes, but I ‘ll share my mix from February 2025. I think it is still a good listen.

Need an ear, a pep talk, a sticker, a postcard, a spot on the couch? I am here for it.

Love, Laura

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Take it easy, try to cool down girl….last week I found myself trying to calm my rage multiple times a day. This can’t be healthy, mentally or physically. I feel like I shouldn’t complain, as a white american, I have a lot of privilege. As a disabled/neurodivergent, queer woman (who can easily pass under the radar) I have only experienced a moment of what BIPOC and Trans folks have experienced their whole lives. As an empath, as a survivor of sexual assault and abuse, this timeline is overwhelmingly triggering. I know this isn’t the time to bury my head in the sand, but the overpowering need to save all the people is tearing my heart into bits. I don’t think Sesame Street and Free to Be You & Me prepared me for this level.

I was able to find a little relief in continuing through Birbfest. I am sad that the month is over. I don’t love every collage I made, but there are some that really speak to me.1. I haven’t made any decisions about the 100 day project, but I still have time. I have been enjoying reading about what all of you are considering. I am going to the art supply store this afternoon, maybe I will see something that inspires a project.

Our next book club meeting is next week and I admit that I have not started the book. I am still putting through Heartwood, by Amity Gaige. I am really enjoying it, but unfortunately it is not “Impossible to put down,”2 like the cover suggests (or I would be finished!)

If anyone else is having a hard time, I want to say again that finding community is a great action to take. My Sunday drawing group, my dog walking posse, and my book club are what keep me going. Don’t feel like you have to be local to reach out. I credit for changing my life when she invited me into her drawing group, and she did it from across the country. I am here if anyone needs me.

Love, Laura

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I don’t have much to post about this morning. We had a very wintery (for Texas) event this weekend and my brain took the opportunity to do nothing. Well, not nothing, I watched TV and ate too many snacks. We went out to walk Saturday morning, but not since! The windchill earlier was 8 degrees. The dogs would probably have enjoyed it (see above video with cutie Gordo), but too cold for me! I miss seeing my neighbors.

I watched one of the Oscar nominated films yesterday, One Battle After Another. I think Titanic had a negative impact on me in my formative years, because I just can’t watch Leonardo DiCaprio without cringing. I did enjoy Sean Penn in his role as the truly messed up Colonel Lockjaw. Apparently the film is also shot in VistaVision, which sent me down a little educational rabbit hole. 1

Let’s talk briefly about the 100 day project. (If you aren’t familiar with it, learn all the details here). Who is planning to participate this year? The start date is February 22. Since one of the things I want to do this year is get back into my illustrated journal, I am hesitant to participate unless I can come up with something meaningful that is connected. Because the collages are kind of mess intensive, I tend to do them in batches so I can clean up in between. It makes it logistically tricky for a daily activity meant to be done fairly quickly. Are you thinking about it? Have you decided on a project?

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A word to the wise before I leave you. If you need new car insurance, be very careful about looking online, and providing any contact information. I did a quick search, to see what the average rates were, and I have been getting cold calls from various companies for DAYS. I am not going to say that I made my choice based on who didn’t call, but it might have played a role.

Take care of your hearts and minds.

Love, Laura

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I hope everyone had a good weekend. I actually got quite a few things done around the house, including some furniture assembly. I am typing in a new desk chair that is wide enough to sit criss cross, or share with a cat friend. My previous chair was a wooden kitchen chair, and I am amazing at how much more comfortable computing is with just a little padding. Plus, it swivels!

We are having another cold snap here in the south. It is lovely in the afternoons, but the mornings are cold. My Monday gift to you is a picture of my neighbor Betty wearing her winter finery. Her snood really helped lift my early morning spirits. My dogs looked no where near as fashionable (nor did I).

Community check-in: Is today the most depressing day of the year?

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Apparently today is Blue Monday1, some kind of made up holiday for retailers to sell us things they think we think will make us happy. I must not be the target audience, since I actually had to look it up when I saw it on this weeks journaling prompts. My mind first went to New Order’s Blue Monday. As soon as I looked at the lyrics I realized I had used them in my journal before, but I must have stopped there.

In all honesty, if I don’t count in my reaction to the absolutely terrifying things going on in the country, my mood is pretty good. What tends to happen is I wake up fine, but the more I see the news, the more my mood trends downward. I am relying heavily on my friends and my pets to keep me stable.

I am still trying to squeeze in a few books from my TBR list in between book club assignments. This week I am reading Heartwood, by Amity Gaige. The protagonist is an unusually tall female park ranger in Maine, who is searching for a woman who has gone missing while hiking the Appalachian Trail.2. I am enjoying it so far.

I have a few new birbs to share with you all.

Thank you all for reading along. Just having you all like the posts gives me an inspiring sense of community. I hope everyone is well.

Love, Laura

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I don’t know if you have caught on that my post titles are always song lyrics, and more specifically the song that comes on at random when I am beginning my posts. Sometimes the randomizer gods give me really appropriate words.

We made it to the halfway point of January. If you haven’t kicked all your 2026 goals in to action, don’t despair, January one is a kind of an imaginary construct, and I have read it quite a few substack posts in the last few weeks that suggest February one is a better date for a restart. Either way, the pressure is off.

We had a great book club meeting this week, and while feeling were mixed on our book, for the most part we all thought it was worth the read. Due to some returning insomnia, I had time to read a non-assigned text this week. One of the authors that I love recommended this book. I thought it was Maggie Steifvater, but now I can’t find any evidence to support that. Anyway, I got it from the library, and despite my fears that it might have…romance…I opened it up and got reading.

Ya’ll, it was really good. I was immediately drawn in to the story and had a lot of trouble putting it down. Aspiring writers and academics, might find more of a toe hold, because the book focuses on a group of friends who meet in the Lit department of a university, but my guess is that the appeal is universal.

We are 15 birds into birbfest and there are lots of good ones left to come! I am having a lot of fun with this project (you can probably tell).

I am trying not to ignore my illustrated journal (darn you audhd hyperfocus), it has been a bit tricky. This is going to sound silly, but I am convinced that part of the problem is that I haven’t managed to find a furniture deployment that gives me the right place (a comfortable place) to draw in my sketchbook.

Since my step-mom died I have had a little extra cash, so I have been working on making my house into more of my home. The previous owners updated the house on their own and to their specifications, and it has a lot of their personality. In many ways it has a masculine feel, in other ways it seems painfully neutral. There is so much greige. I haven’t managed to completely overwhelm it with chaos and whimsy. During the holiday sales I bought some rugs and a bright yellow chair from ikea. The knobs and pulls in the kitchen are especially manly, and kind of hard of the hands since they are hard and angular. One day I will have something more interesting, with a better hand feel.

I hope this post finds all of you well. These are really hard times and I find myself retreating into my own head, focusing on interior design and not nazis. Please join me in distraction land if you need a break!

Love, Laura

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I am writing to you wrapped in fleece and flannel, on an unusually cold day for Texas. This has been the most variable weather stretch I can remember. Can I admit something? I secretly enjoy it. Summer here is just miserable. Day after day after day of scorching temps and blinding sun. I find it really depressing. But, being Texan, I don’t have much stamina, or wardrobe, for extended wintry weather. Going through all four seasons every two weeks is keeping it fresh for me.

I know that some of you really enjoy the crazy eye collages, so I wanted to update you on how things are going for Birbfest. I felt like I struggled with the first few, but now I am in the groove of it and I am having a lot of fun. The restraints of the challenge, and those I set for myself in choosing substrate and size, are teaching me some new things.

I am still working on my 2026 bingo board. Does anyone else make these? I’d welcome some suggestions for the blank squares if anyone has any.

I did bite the bullet and trade in my car on Friday. Why is that process so overwhelming? Even coming from a privileged place economically (thank you Jodi), it still took forever and was so stressful. But I am the proud new owner of an urban gray Honda CRV hybrid! My neighbor Pam says her name is Vera. I’ll share a pic of my new steed in my next post.

We have our monthly book club meeting on Tuesday. I am still struggling in the back half of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer. Our book for February is The Library Book, by Susan Orlean. I have been looking forward to it. I have not started War and Peace, but it is there, taunting me…

I am too terrified/depressed/ashamed to really touch on what is happening these days in this country, I am sure you are all also overwhelmed by the horror. Big hugs to all who need them, and silent solidarity to everyone else. It is getting harder and harder to imagine a way out of this mess.

Community is what we have, so always feel free to share your triumphs and struggles here, we are in this together.

Love, Laura

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I got derailed a bit in my post timing, but not to worry, I am still marching on. I am having fun participating in Birbfest 20261, in my weird collage way. I do miss drawing the birds though. Fortunately, “bird” is a prompt for this week’s illustrated journal!

On a related but different topic, I am struggling changing from a rectangular to a square format for these. I decided to go square, because in my mind the end result of these is a 4”x4” zine I can hand out.

Someone referenced designing a personal curriculum during one of our drawing sessions. I am a person who loves to learn all the things, so what if I could somehow get control of that energy and create a lesson plan that could keep me focused? Of course this appeals to my educator’s soul, but can I get my adhd brain to follow through.

One of my learning units this year will focus on tarot. There is so much to love there. Art, self reflection, a little magic, maybe a ritual, some research. To help me stay organized I bought a writual planner. They have several option, but I bought an undated version, so I can go at my own pace. It comes with stickers that match the cards, so you can record your pulls, and a space to reflect. I haven’t had a quiet moment to start with the book, but I am excited about it.

When I was organizing my thoughts to write this post, I wondered if there was a virtual tarot out there. Well of course there is, and for the purpose of scientific inquiry I had to try it out. I have a phone meeting this morning with the finance guy that is helping me with my stepmom’s estate, and I am nervous about it. A little insight could only help. These cards are from a deck called Tarot of the Velvet Moon.

The first card the internet sent me was the high priestess. A little thrill went through me, I am all about “intuition, mystery, subconscious wisdom, and the divine feminine (according to the website).” Not sure that things not being what they seem is what I want to hear.

I tried one other site (for science!) and this time the internet sent me the X of Swords. Ya’ll…science is not helping my peace of mind…

Are you interested in tarot? What role does it play in your life? In your creative process?

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Wish me luck everyone, I am off to my phone call.

Love, Laura

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My New Year’s Eve was quiet, maybe even a bit boring, which is just how I like it. We had a drawing group meetup early in the day, then I just hung out with kids and dogs. My oldest had just spent a week with his dad. Must have been action packed because he came home, ate, showered, and passed out before dinner.

Augie had celebratory fries from Jack in the box, while I splurged on fancy Korean chicken wings done “gangham style.” I was up past midnight, but mainly because I was reading and comforting my big fluffy foster dog who is not a fan of fireworks.

I started birbfest today. I decided to do a series of collages similar to my ICAD project.

One of the many areas I want to focus on this year is fiber arts. I have been working on my knitting and I finished my first scarf! It is definitely not perfect, but I’m proud of myself.

I also want to work on my crochet skills, especially amigurami. I have so many cool crochet creatures that I want to make. I still have quilt goals too. I have been thinking about starting with a hexagon quilt, since I can do it by hand, plus I have lots and lots of fabric scraps.

What about you? Anyone have some projects they want to work on this year? Did you start one today?

I hope everyone is having a peaceful first day.

Love, Laura

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We are having a few days of winter here in Texas, which has made for some chilly walks. Never fear, the dog posse has been pounding the pavement anyway. One of the things I want to focus on this year is taking better care of myself. I walk with my dogs and neighbors every morning, which gives me a false sense of righteousness I think. I had some labs done recently and my cholesterol numbers were scary. I blame some of that on heredity and an overabundance of stress/cortisol, but whatever the cause, it isn’t healthy.

I am not sure what improving my numbers looks like. Probably some improvements in food choices, more sleeping, more exercise, medication. The first baby step will be finding a local doctor. My health insurance situation is somewhat up in the air right now, which is complicating things. Most parents of disabled kids are walking around right now in a dead panic, hoping desperately that they live forever. My body clearly hasn’t gotten the message.

I feel uncomfortable mentioning my weight out loud, there is a ban in my house on any discussions of the type, unless it relates to a medical issue. Co-parenting has complicated this for my older kid, but it is important that my boys don’t walk around worrying about their weight like I did. My grandmother was soooo worried about my “girlish figure,” so I thought I was way out of the normal range. In cleaning some things out of my parent’s house I found a picture of me from early high school. I’m sorry, but no one should have been harassing this girl about her weight.1

All of that being said, would I be happy to lose a few pounds in the healthy living process? Yes I would.

I think it is appropriate to focus on the things that went really right this year, and starting a book club is one of them. We didn’t choose a December book this year, we had a holiday potluck instead. It was a really great gathering. People brought delicious food and it was nice to have more opportunities to connect.

I spent more of december reading a novel called Alchemised, by SenLinYu. It took me a lot longer to read than I expected.2 I would definitely recommend it if you have the stamina for a long read. I have moved on to reading The Dead Will Tell, by Linda Castillo (the 6th book in the Kate Burkholder series), as a quick palette cleanser before I move on to January’s book club read. This month we are taking on Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer.3

Did anyone else get some reading done over the holidays? Any recommendations? Are you in a book club? Would you ever start one?

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Thank you to anyone joining me for my 5 day posting challenge! So far so good! See you tomorrow!

Love, Laura

3

Somehow, a group of 18 women, picked 10 books for year that are almost all authored by men. I think next year we might be more intentional about this.

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We have made it to the last few days of the year, and wow what a year it has been. My life in the last decade has not been without challenges, but 2025 managed to shake me to the core. I doubt that I’m the only one looking towards the restart of the new year with unreasonable expectations. I’m trying to be careful and temper hope (what kind of dark chore is that??). I know rationally that flipping a calendar page doesn’t mean waking up on the first to butterflies and unicorns, but a part of me is really going to be heartbroken when that doesn’t happen.

I never make hard and fast resolutions, but I do have hopes for the year. Make more art, take better care of myself, get discovered and become financially secure. My therapist would tell me that all of that is worthless without a lot more thought about what success would look like, and what steps I need to take to get there. That’s a lot and my brain isn’t having it. So baby steps.

One of my hopes is to re-establish some of the routines that I successfully put in the place in the past. Quite of few of those fell by the wayside this past year, and that is unfortunate. Because getting back to posting regularly on substack is one of those routines, I am going to jumpstart my brain by posting everyday, for five days.

One of the habits I miss the most is the daily creative outlet of my illustrated journal. I used to spend hours drawing and painting each week. In the last few months I have rarely even opened my sketchbook between the Sunday meetings of my drawing posse. I know we can’t step in the same river twice, and all that stuff, but I am going to return to the drawing challenge that got me started, #Birbfest.

Because I love to gamify all the things, you might see a birbfest zine at the end of January. I don’t know if I can pull this off, but you could see some birbfest related collages. If you are still on instagram, I suggest following the tag to see all the great bird art created by participants.

At the request of some of the drawing gals, I put together a calendar featuring the collages that I made during ICAD this year. I have to say, minted did a really good job printing it, because it looks legit.

Sending love to all who are navigating this awful timeline. Our power is in community, so reach out if you need to connect. Do you have your own goals/hopes/resolutions for 2026? How can I support you?

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See you tomorrow!

Love, Laura

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I am grieving, my kids are grieving (I think), and the world doesn’t miss a beat. Could the headlines be any more triggering? Jeez. I wake up each day determined to get back to my creative practice, and then I am hit with cold, cruel, burst of reality that freezes that part of my brain. I’m hurting, and so many others are hurting too. It is a damn difficult time to be an empath.

My dirty dishes are piled up in the kitchen because I haven’t unloaded the clean ones, the litter boxes and waiting to be scooped, and the dust bunnies are running the asylum. You know what though, it is ok. It’s ok if your house is experiencing the same thing. It is ok if you need to take care of your heart by watching another episode of Portrait Artist of the Year, or taking a nap, or redesigning your island in Animal Crossing. I am trying to be gentle with myself for self-medicating with shopping. I mean I really did need that tube of Monte Amiata Natural Sienna.1

I woke up on the morning of my step-mom’s “Celebration of Life” (thrown by her friends) and chopped all of my hair off. I needed a change. I have to say, I love it. It helped me feel a lot more confident going into a room full of people I knew would be staring at me and Augie. Despite feeling sassy as heck, it was a more challenging situation than I expected. We made it about an hour before Augie was done (and so was I, but I was keeping that hidden inside), then we fled back to Austin.

I have a lot I want to write about the experience of losing a mother, but I am not quite ready to sort it all out. I wanted to post today, right now, before I managed to restart my daily habit, to clean the house, to get it all back together, because we don’t have to be succeeding to connect to people. I feel like I am doing a lot better with my encouraging self talk these days. I hope you are too.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

Love, Laura

1

I want to try a minimal palette watercolor challenge. After reading a bunch of posts by artists, most seemed to settle on between 3-6 colors for the challenge. The color grouping I am going to try first is: Hansa Yellow Medium, Quinacridone Rose, Ultramarine Blue, Cerulean Blue Chromium, Monte Amiata Natural Sienna, and Transparent Red Oxide.

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Dear Readers,

My words have been sparse these past weeks, because my head and heart have been wrapped up with my step-mom’s illness. She did pass away yesterday, so I wanted to share a few of my thoughts.

Getting old is hard. While your own body betrays you by sprouting strange growths, lumps bumps, bulges, and spots, time sneaks up and steals the people who have anchored your existence. I lost my dad two years ago, and it feel like yesterday, and now my step-mom has gone. I feel untethered, orphaned, sad, terrified, angry and overwhelmed.

I am not going to look back and sugar coat things. Jodi and I had a difficult relationship when she married into my family. I was 13 years old, hormonal, pre-traumatized by my actual mom, and absolutely did not need another old lady bossing me around. Jodi was a lawyer, a former judge, and one of the first women to attend UT Law. She didn’t have kids of her own and wasn’t prepared to take any crap from me.

Over time we were able to move past that. She was a fabulous grandmother, and has loved, supported, and accepted my kids in ways that much of the rest of my family has struggled to do. I think she was probably the only person in the world to love Augie as much as I do, and I know he is feeling her loss as much as I am.

When she called to tell me she was choosing hospice, instead of continuing to fight leukemia, I was verbally supportive, but I was hurt and angry. Didn’t she know we needed her? That I can’t do all this on my own? That didn’t stop me from advocating for her at the hospital, or from working to make her passing as painless and peaceful as possible, but it made it more challenging. In true Jodi fashion, once she set her mind on something it came to be. She stopped treatment Saturday, and Wednesday she was gone.

I am trying to fortify myself to face the monumental adulting I must undertake this week. The hits keep coming. A member of the dog posse is in the hospital with pneumonia, life is busy, and I just want to hide under the covers and avoid everything. My youngest has been dragged through alllll of it, and I’m worried that he is traumatized.

So I am off to bed, to try to escape for a while, so I can get up tomorrow and keep trucking. I know the only way to get to the other side is to plow on through, even though I can feel the resistance in every level.

I hope all of you are doing ok, and coping with the daily disasters happening in the world.

Take care of yourselves.

Love, Laura

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Thanks for being here over this long summer of discontent. I guess it is officially fall, but it still feels a lot like summer in Texas. In the mornings we get glimpses of what fall weather could be, but the heat sets in and the afternoons are warm enough to roast you.

I don’t feel like I am doing enough to fight the destruction of democracy, to take care of my kids, my friends my family, to take care of myself. But I wake up each morning and keep doing the things and hope that it all gets better, or at least easier. As we libs say, “The horrors persist, but so do I.”

I just got back from spending a week in a hotel in glamorous Temple, Tx. My stepmom is there for her leukemia treatment. As is common with leukemia patients, she caught an infection and got stuck in the hospital. They are thinking it was meningitis. Fortunately she is released and back to her long term hotel suite.

I missed the September meeting of my book club, but I deputized two of my neighbors to take over for me. Sounds like it went well. Our book for the October meeting is On Earth We’re briefly Gorgeous, by Ocean Vuong. We spoke about changing our name to something more interesting than NSC (North Shoal Creek) Book Club, and someone suggested we call ourselves the book posse. My brain immediately translated that to book possum, and I have been dreaming of creating a logo for us that includes a screaming possum.

Over the last few weeks I read The Teller of Small Fortunes, which was a nice cozy fantasy book, and Gone Missing, the fourth installment of my Amish murder mystery series. I am currently reading One Of Us Is Lying.

I can’t believe it is almost October! Did september fly by? It seemed so horrible, I guess I am glad it is almost done!

I usually like October, it is sometimes cooler. Halloween! My birthday (mixed feelings at this age, but there is usually cake, so…).

• Do you decorate your house for halloween? If so, what is your favorite thing to put out? Do you wear a costume?

• Are you a tv watcher? Are there any new fall shows you recommend? Augie and I are doing a rewatch of Call the Midwife.

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As usual, I am hoping everyone is doing well. I know times are really challenging and I am thinking of you all. If you don’t have a local community, reach out to me and the rest of your online community. My life is hectic, but I always have time for you.

Love, Laura

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