The furniture consignment shop was a treasure trove of chaise lounges, chinoiserie, and ottomans. Surely, I’d have my pick of the litter of whatever that something would be.

As I walked through the front door, breezing past a stack of mid-century modern dining chairs, I stopped dead in my tracks, incredulous at what I saw. A piece of a furniture I know. Or rather, I knew.

There she stood, the Pulaski Bombe Chest of Drawers - Hand Painted French Provincial Furniture Dresser.

Beyond startled, as I hadn’t seen her in well over a decade. I had a near-identical chest growing up. The only difference with this one was it was larger. But the details, the delicately painted flowers, the curved feet - exactly the same. It’s a beautiful piece of suburban middle-class existence.

I snapped a pic and sent it to my mom, who was equally as delighted to see this old friend. My dad always told me what a beautiful piece of furniture it was, how unique and special. And because it was mine, I was in turn beautiful, unique, and special.

Just seeing this piece of furniture brought me a sense of comfort. Its peach and green trimmings, wrought iron handles - I saw the dresser and was immediately transported back. It felt like me. It was me. I missed that feeling.

The top of the dresser space, which couldn’t have been more than 2x4 feet, held my entire life. I poured into my dresser like my own art project. I meticulously planned and organized every trinket, bauble, and picture frame just so. Nearly every spot was occupied, leaving a maze of dust around jewelry boxes.

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It held a metal flower-shaped earring holder. A bottle of Pink Fresh & Clean Body Mist was ever present in the top left corner. A blue and white wooden jewelry box from my great aunt, who always seemed to understand my affinity for trinkets, served as the centerpiece of my altar.

And oh, the picture frames. I recall one in particular - a purple, zebra print, fuzzy picture frame from Limited Too. Photos would be swapped out as the years went by, when I could no longer stand looking at photos of myself in braces or friendships would fizzle out.

I’m a sit-on-the-floor phone talker, and spent hours tracing my fingers along the bottom of the dresser.

I was always just a spritz away from smelling like a down comforter.

The scent of Lysol was ever present on a Sunday morning. I cleaned, I dusted, I scrubbed, I polished until it shone like the Chrysler Building (Annie references are appreciated around these parts). I took extra care to dust the indents of the corners, using my nail to remove anything stuck in the crevices.

Overtime, the imprints of hairspray bottoms made their marks. Make-up stains from failed attempts at a smokey-eye or a red lip. The history of my exploration into becoming a woman was left stained on that dresser.

The top drawer held all of my secrets. My 50 State Quarters collection. Folded notes passed earlier in class. My dad called my childhood best friend and I “junk collectors” growing up, and my drawers were truly a testament to that nickname.

But many of those secrets shall remain secrets. I want them to.

I find that my Philly apartment, affectionally called the “apartment of artifacts,” to be a much larger representation of my childhood chest of drawers. My memories, knick-knacks, failures, candelabras, pillows, victories, all strewn about. Some things never change.

I find so often when I write, from when I was 10 years old to now, one single theme persists: a never-ending quest of self-discovery (no other writer has ever had to face these emotions). When I saw that dresser in the consignment shop, I knew who I was. I remembered who I am. Whether that’s for the best, or for the worst.

I remembered the girl who sang “On My Own,” time and time again, perhaps relating to Eponine a little too much at times. The girl who choreographed dances to every song on Now! That’s What I Call Music Volume 5 ("Jumpin', Jumpin'“ was a personal favorite). The girl who tried, and tried, and tried.

As I stared at this piece of furniture, I was forced to ask myself, “Well, where are you now?”.

Things often have a way of finding themselves back to us. Or they don’t. Material items can hold our truths, our memories, our fears, our hopes. We often believe we’re searching for new things, when what we’re actually searching for is a way back to ourselves. The objects we keep remind us of the people we’ve always been.

As fate would have it, a top drawer of my current dresser, which I had bought from of a friend years ago, broke. Unable to be repaired, I set that drawer out to pasture (the Philly sidewalk on trash day). My dresser now resembles a 7-year-old who just lost their front tooth, an empty space now waiting to be filled, but instead of gums, old t-shirts and camis are exposed.

I’m tempted to return to Home Furnishings Consignment to see if the dresser is still available for purchase. Who knows, it might be nice to be reminded who I am every day, rather than once in a blue moon.

The snap of the plastic cassette case opening was like a portal, transporting me from my suburban bedroom to a pulsating dance floor. Neon lights flickered behind my eyes as Britney Spears’ breathy vocals wrapped around me. I collected the cassettes and CDs like baseball cards.

If you were born post-2005, you might not be familiar with the cultural phenomenon that was the NOW series. Allow me to explain briefly.

NOW That's What I Call Music (or simply NOW) is a series of compilation albums by various artists, which originally began in the UK in the 80s. The albums feature popular songs across genres, from pop to rap to country and indie. Think of them as a mixtape or a musical time capsule. And if you think NOW no longer exists (like I did) you’d be wrong, as they are now on Volume 88. 

I will never part with these bad boys.

Back in my day, we would drool over the latest NOW commercial, savoring those five-second clips of a song featured on that album. We would eagerly wait for a trip to Sam Goody or FYE when a new CD dropped. NOW was the zeitgeist. I hate using this phrase, but you really had to be there.

The first NOW album included absolute bangers such as:

• As Long as You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys

• Together Again by Janet Jackson

• All My Life by K-Ci and JoJo

• Say You’ll Be There by the Spice Girls

• Barbie Girl by Aqua

• It also included the scandalously titled Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground, which I never listened to until years later because I was a good Catholic girl!

I would be in my room for hours with my boombox, playing the same songs over and over again, digesting and dissecting every lyric, beat drop, and melody. I assume my parents didn’t carefully examine the contents of the cassette tape* because there’s no chance I would have been allowed to listen to a handful of those songs.

*Side note: Have you seen the TikTok of kids trying to figure out how to get a CD out of its case? I’m not poking fun at them (entirely); I simply felt like a fossil seeing that. Anyways.

Of that first NOW album, one song in particular stuck out to me then and still does - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger. 

We’re all familiar with the angsty, rebellious track, which seems to live now on your local adult-easy-listening radio station. Even though I had no idea what this song meant as a kid, I couldn’t get enough of it. As an adult, however, I understand it all too well. So, let’s get into the song’s background.

Quelle surprise - Harvey Danger is not a singer's name as I thought it was. But it’s the name of the band, which consisted of lead singer Sean Nelson, drummer Evan Sult, bass guitarist Aaron Huffman, and guitarist Jeff Lin. Jeff and Aaron were student journalists together at the University of Washington’s student newspaper and took the name "Harvey Danger" from a phrase graffitied on the office's wall.

As for the song’s title - “Flagpole Sitta” - it had always perplexed me. It begged the question: “What, or who is a flagpole sitta?”

For far too long, I thought “sitta” was a form of writing, perhaps something similar to a sonnet or a ballad. However, according to my hours (read: seconds) of research, the title refers to the 1920s trend of Flagpole Sitting, where people would climb up flagpoles for fun (kooky!). The band was also inspired to spell "sitter" as "sitta" by N.W.A’s Straight Outta Compton. Fun facts abound!

The song touches on the subjects of non-conformity, media manipulation, paranoia, and rebellion. Sean Nelson’s voice is simply too perfect for this song. It’s not so much about how his vocals sound but how he delivers the lyrics. Angry, direct, and powerful, but softened at just the right moments.

The lyrics scandalized and disturbed me. I actually think it’s my first recollection of being disturbed by something (the first of many). Specifically, these lines:

Put me in the hospital for nerves, and then they had to commit me

You told them all I was crazy

They cut off my legs; now I'm an amputee; God damn you

My favorite section of lyrics, however, is:

I wanna publish 'zines, and rage against machines
I wanna pierce my tongue
It doesn't hurt, it feels fine
The trivial sublime
I'd like to turn off time
And kill my mind

I interpret this as wanting to do so much in life and wanting to make a change but also feeling apathetic to absolutely everything. Everything matters, and yet nothing does. And everyone is boring.

But perhaps the most famous of the lyrics are those that introduce the chorus:

I’m not sick, but I’m not well.

These seven words encapsulate the theme of the song perfectly. Our protagonist proclaims that while he might be physically ok, he is mentally unwell. He’s trying to maintain his sanity while living in a crazy world. I’m sure we’ve all had similar feelings, haven't we?

There is something very ironic about a song that’s about anti-conformity becoming a staple song of the 90s. Our singer sits upon the flagpole, an observer of society but not an active participant. And yet, with this song becoming a massive hit, it became part of society.

The band has since broken up, but the message and lyrics still live on. And a song like this feels more important than ever before. I think I’ll listen to the rest of Harvey Danger’s discography tonight.

Photo by wrightkitchen

I am a marketer’s best dream. In the words of one soon-to-be-on-screen-Glinda Ariana Grande, “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it”. I will consume everything and anything - just as long as it’s in a TikTok that’s quick enough to catch my attention. I just made a trip to Targét to purchase chicken sausage, mustard and cottage cheese because I saw someone on TikTok do it (updates to come on that one).

I think I’ve experienced every TikTok trend that has existed since the dawn of the app - from “hot girl walks” (which, if my Internet history serves me correctly, was the genesis for the topic of today’s post), to the now omnipresent “girl dinner”. And while it might be annoying and unnecessary to assign every aesthetic and trend a name, I do have the app to thank for giving a name to the comforting global coffeehouse aesthetic.

On this here little newsletter, we’ve previously explored the Espresso Martini Girl and the Supermarket aesthetic. Today, we’re exploring a new aesthetic.

Meet the Tomato Girl.

Who is the Tomato Girl, you might ask? Her name is Francesca, and she grows Roma tomatoes in her not overly-manicured garden, while wearing a cream linen dress. She hand embroiders the napkins she gives guests at her monthly dinner parties. She adorns silk head scarves, traverses across Italian villas, and just might even have a cigarette while on her second bottle of Chianti. She is a gorgeous garden goddess.

It’s chic nona. It’s la dolce vita. It’s Tomato Girl Summer.

The results of a '“Tomato Girl Summer” Instagram search

My friend Priyanka, who is a fabulous content creator and works at a major American fashion retailer, shared on her Instagram story that while at work, she and her team discussed TGS (this is what Tomato Girl Summer will henceforth be known as). And it was just last week that I received a promotional email from another large fashion retailer which read, “Did you hear? It’s Tomato Girl Summer.”

But is it?!

In Internet time, TGS may already be over before I even hit publish. As of few days ago, a new “trend” came across our screens: blueberry milk nails, which is simply painting your nails a very light shade of blue. In fact, the OPI color associated with the trend is not called blueberry milk, but rather It’s A Boy!. Go figure.

On a side note, I was uncertain if blueberry milk was a real beverage. And if it was, it was something I absolutely want to taste. I’m happy to report that I found a recipe for the concoction and even made some (it was actually delicious).

All this to say - of all of the trends we’ve seen come and go online, I haven’t seen quite reaction like people have had to this one. And the main reason?

It’s the incessant need to label and name every. single. thing.

“There is no such thing as blueberry milk nails, it’s just light blue nails!!!” proclaimed several TikToks.

Why must every piece of clothing, every meal, every movement have a name?

My attempt at making blueberry milk

I recently attended the 2023 Social Media Day PHL, an annual event that brings together Philadelphia-based communication professionals for a day of social media enlightenment. In between conversations presented by Canva and REC Philly, I went to a seminar given by the head of IBM’s social, Brandi Boatner. The topic she spoke about was de-influencing, the new wave of content creators encouraging followers to perhaps not buy or use a product, or are casually using a product in a video without explicitly promoting it.

While discussing what is a trend vs. what is not a trend, she specifically mentioned the Coastal Cowgirl. It’s exactly what the name evokes - think a California sun-kissed blonde wearing airy fabrics, cowboy boots, a knitted cowboy hat, while listening to this playlist. Can’t you just smell the salty air and Sun Bum tanning oil now? Fast-fashion brand Princess Polly has an entire section of their website dedicated to the trend (we won’t get into the implications of fast fashions here now, but it’s important to mention).

The coastal cowgirl is dreamy, carefree, and breezy. But she is also manufactured, carefully calculated, and mass-produced.

Did anyone ask for a blueberry milk nails, Tomato Girls or Costal Cowgirls? I’m going to go out on a crazy limb here and say probably not.

It’s exhausting - the need to label everything, to keep up with the lifestyles that are being sold to us. And you can’t help but to notice that almost all of these trends are mainly being created and sold to women. It might seem unnecessary and trivial to talk about something like TikTok trends, but not when there’s an impact financially and on self-worth.

I’m including myself here when I say this - but why do we buy into this time and time again, especially when these trends come and go so quickly? Perhaps it’s the lack of identity that we might feel within ourselves, or the thought that if we just bought this one piece of clothing, we’ll finally be the idealized versions of ourselves.

There is a differentiation between feeling inspired by something, whether it be art, décor, fashion, or anything else, and attempting to acquire a particular style that is visually appealing... or tailored for one's social feed. Whether the purchase is made with the sole intention of sharing on social media or for personal enjoyment, the influence is undoubtedly present.

Pursuing an aesthetic that can never be fully attained has both its financial and psychological drawbacks.

And yet, I’ll still paint my nails a shade of blueberry milk.

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Thank you so much for reading! If you want even more social media chitchat, check out my interview with CanvasRebel here.

Imagine waking up to this view every morning…

Is anyone having a better summer than Grimace, the large, purple McDonald’s - thing? The only other thing having a better summer is Kylie Minogue’s Padam Padam, but I digress…

In early June, McDonald’s announced that they would introduce a shake in honor of the big purple guy’s 52nd birthday. They also announced a rollout of Grimace merch and even a video game. He also took over the McDonald’s Twitter, TikTok and Instagram, incorporating a Gritty-esque style of irreverent commentary.

And if you’ve spent any amount of time on Twitter, you probably already know that Grimace has been dubbed a queer icon. So here we have the following formula: Pride Month + Grimace’s birthday = seemingly a match made in heaven.

Before we dive too deep, why don’t we take a look at some Grimace facts, courtesy of McDonald’s Wiki:

• He was first introduced as Evil Grimace, a thief who stole milkshakes.

• He hails from Grimace Island.

• He also has an Irish uncle, named O'Grimacey, who is a green version of a Grimace associated with the Shamrock Shake.

So as you can see, Grimace has deep lore.

But today we’re not asking the age old question “What is Grimace?”. No - instead we’re asking when and should a brand hop onto an online trend that they didn’t create, but involves them.

Me and the girls

As we mentioned before, McDonald’s debuted a purple shake in honor of Grimace’s birthday. It was innocent enough - a berry-flavored beverage, paying homage to a symbol of Americana, a fast-food mascot.

But soon, the youths took over, and thus began the Grimace shake trend on TikTok.

@minionlover123456Very berry #grimace #grimaceshake

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The videos begin with someone saying something along the lines of, “Hey guys, I’m here trying out the new Grimace milkshake,” followed by a hard cut of them on the ground with the milkshake smashed next to them. Other videos are like a horror movie, as if drinking the milkshake will lead to your demise.

And I have to say, after scrolling countless Grimace shake videos, some of them are really, really good.

Ok so first of all, I live for this. I live for teens taking something from a brand and running amok with it (disclaimer: I live for this FOR THE MOST PART). So for this short period of time, social media owns Grimace, thereby also owning - McDonald’s? It is amusing to see teenagers essentially hold control over a massive corporation’s next move, isn’t it?

You just have to picture it - meeting after meeting and millions of dollars poured into this campaign, only for the shakes to be incorporated into a version of Sinister.

McDonald’s current Twitter page

So, when the Internet takes over like this, where does a brand go? How far should they take it?

It certainly depends on the tone and response of an online challenge or trend, but brands shouldn’t run away from them. Brands should consider participating in TikTok trends when it aligns with their target audience, brand image, and overall marketing. And like, also to be cool, right?

In my humble opinion, and in this case, McDonald’s should hop onto it. And do so ASAP. Have an employee don the suit and smash that shake to the ground! McDonald’s did just acknowledge the trend on Twitter and posted this TikTok, but they can still take it a step further.

There is a very fine line of time between when a trend like this begins, and when a big corporation decides to hop on it. If a brand chooses to take part too late, it simply won’t work as well, and in fact could backfire. Obviously there’s a great deal of consideration when posting for a massive brand, but timing is truly everything. It’s also important to note that when a brand takes part in an online trend, it typically always effectively ends the lifespan of a meme.

A delicate dance, indeed.

Let’s think long term now. Memes come and go, and they come and go quickly. Will Grimace still be our beloved plum-colored being a year from now, or will the public simply be over him? Only time will tell.

So what are our takeaways here:

• Teenagers have and will take over.

• Listen to and trust your social team.

• You can’t predict or exactly plan for an online response, but you can pivot.

And finally, shout out to all of the social media managers out there making the magic happen. And to the McDonald’s workers making those shakes, we appreciate you 🥲.

Who would have thought we’d have this purple menace to thank for this social media lesson? Now to get me one of them shakes…

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Lady Gaga put her Oscar-nominated acting chops to use recently… in a Nurtec® ODT commercial, which you can view here.

The day started off like any other, until I received a text from my friend Erin, who informed me that Gaga was the new spokesperson for the drug company her mom works for.

“Hmm, that’s… interesting,” I thought. The triple-threat woman has been very vocal and open about her health struggles, so this did make sense for a brand partnership.

And yet…

I immediately opened up Instagram to see for myself.

What I saw next was a shock to the system.

We see a still image of Gaga from the Chromatica Ball, followed by the FTC-mandated side effects of the drug, accompanied by the brand-approved caption.

It’s also worth noting that a previous spokesperson for the medication was Khloe Kardashian.

Now I want to clarify that I am very pro and for girlies getting the bag, whether it turns us into capitalist monsters or not. But still I ask the question - What. Is. Going. On.

Naturally, I ran to the comments. Many fans expressed their confusion and disappointment.

It’s bizarre to see a celebrity of Gaga’s stature doing a sponsored post like this. Perhaps even more surprising is an artist like Gaga with a massive LGBTQ+ fan base not throwing up even a story for Pride. We’ve of course been inundated with Haus Labs post after post, but the lack of authenticity and connection we once associated with the pop star has diminished so much.

I was listening to the latest episode of the Comments by Celebs podcast, where they discussed which celebrities do a good job of establishing themselves as a personality online, so when sponsored posts do go up, it feels more natural and less, icky, shall we say. Their example of a celebrity who does this well is Sofia Richie, and I feel that Jessica Chastain does this well. Their example of a celebrity who doesn’t do this well? Sydney Sweeney. Unfortunately, I may have to add Gaga into this category now, especially as of recent.

So my questions are as followed:

1.) How much was she paid?

2. ) What footage did they use for this commercial? Was it from an actual Chromatica Ball?

3.) Are we getting a concert video?

4. ) Is she that strapped for cash?

At least her team isn’t deleting comments?

*** please note I am just being ridiculous and do not take most of this seriously ***

I wrote a little something on my main blog here about the end of 2022, and thought I’d bring it over to ye olde Substack as well.

For most, I would venture to say that the promise of January’s return after the holiday season is pretty unwelcome. And I am no exception to this feeling, as my birthday is in January as well. I feel almost doubly hit with feelings of ennui, languor, and apathy. It’s giving Victorian era woman on her chaise lounge, bored of mundane life. It’s giving one of my favorite paintings by Elin Danielson-Gambogi. It’s giving something alright.

Last year I shared a post about my 2021, which I consider to have been a year of growth and healing. The theme for 2022? Well, to be completely honest with you, not too much has changed. I feel like didn’t experience a huge awakening of some sort or major catastrophic event (thank god). The only thing I can say with certainty though is that I really liked this year. I know – not the most compelling or groundbreaking prose. It’s just so much better when you’re tormented!

It was a good year. A fine year, in fact. I was able to travel to places like Lake Tahoe, turned 30, worked with brands I love, booked new photography jobs, yada yada. With of course the endless pursuit of wanting “more” in life, I have to say that I am content. I’m actually really happy. And there’s so much I’m looking forward to (like welcoming some new babiessss soon!!), while being serene in the current moment that I’m in.

I came across a post on writer/reporter Rachel Syme‘s Instagram the other day, which was of her “in” list of 2023. She inspired me to make my own (below), and also jot down a few New Years Resolutions:

• Wake up at 6:30.

• Continue learning French, and starting taking Italian lessons again.

• Cut back on alcohol.

• Work on how I feel about myself in photos – to love how I look.

• I’m currently fixated on learning about Dante’s The Divine Comedy, and I anticipate that I’ll continue to be fixated on it for months to come. Watch this space.

• Start doing more interviews.

• Keep showing and sharing my love for Philly, but going beyond that.

What’s on your ‘in’ list for 2023? I encourage you to make your own, it was quite fun.

And that’s all I’ve got for now! I hope you’ll consider this my 2022 appreciation letter, and my well wishes to you for a beautiful, healthy, abundant and incredible 2023. There is a tradition in Spain and Latin America of eating 12 grapes at midnight (las doce uvas de la suerte), to welcome luck and abundance into the new year. So whether you have grapes in front of you at midnight or not, consider everything that you’re going to bring with you and let go of this year. I hope you get absolutely everything you want this year, and then some.

Thank you for reading and for your continued support for this little Internet corner. Catch you in 2023. Oh, and book yourself a massage. You’ve earned it.

Yesterday I saw my all-time favorite musical, Les Misérables, which was a very wonderful surprise from my friend Katie. The Victor Hugo novel turned Boublil-Schönberg euphonious masterpiece is something I consider to be the greatest musical ever written. My criteria for this esteemed ranking is the following: it has something for everyone (romance, comedy [albeit it brief], religion, class warfare, a battle, a protagonist to root for, etc). Not to mention a gorgeously written score (I’m still in my “to love another person is to see the face of God” feels). But I digress.

Ok before I actually really go into this post, I need to digress some more. If the current Les Miz tour is coming to (please read the following in a car salesman type of voice) a town near you, you MUST see it. And this is coming from someone who has seen the show 10+ times - I can’t remember the last time I was so moved and in awe of a production. Even if you don’t like musicals, I’m still making you go!

While this is a photo of Hugh Jackman as Valjean, let it be known that this is Colm Wilkinson stan account

To give an extremely brief explanation of Les Miz (the musical not the novel), main character Jean Valjean is jailed for 19 years after stealing a loaf of bread for his starving nephew, and subsequently trying to escape several times. The musical follows the rest of his life as he tries to vindicate himself and make right with God, to whom he had promised he would turn his life around after being given a second chance by a kindly bishop. And although he begins this new, “honest” life, he is still hunted literally and figuratively by Javert, a police inspector who believes the law is the end-all-be-all. Before you click away and onto something much more riveting, I promise this post is not about to get preachy or sanctimonious.

I’ve seen Les Misérables more times than I can count and even sang the role of Madame Thénardier in a high school production (will provide photos if asked). So I’d like to think I’m pretty well-versed on the show. But after seeing yesterday’s performance, I saw the show - or rather Jean Valjean - in an entirely new light.

Les Miz is often looked at as a redemption story, a man trying to right his wrongs. But Valjean was initially sentenced for trying to do something noble by any means necessary - trying to feed a starving child. And that needs no redemption.

Or perhaps he is trying to redeem himself for the actions he commits while he’s on parole (stealing again for example). But still we have to go back to the beginning of why he is where he is - for being poor and stealing that loaf of bread for a child.

I suppose throughout all of these years, I’ve looked at the character of Jean Valjean as a redeemed, godly man who was once immoral. But the man never needed to be redeemed.

He is hardened and angered from his near two-decades in prison, and understandably so! You feel bad for the guy! And at the end of the day (pun intended), he had been failed time and time again. Again I say, he doesn’t need to be redeemed! He didn’t do anything that bad! Perhaps I’m looking at it entirely wrong, or maybe you’re thinking “DUH Camille”. But this is the first time I’m realizing, Les Miz isn’t all about redemption - it’s about being a victim of circumstance.

So I left Les Miz a.) extremely grateful to have seen that production on its closing night and b.) wondering how many other characters in film, TV, books, musicals, etc I need to reconnect with who I thought I knew so well (and that also Valjean was lowkey hot).

I’ve also left wondering, how many times have I asked God/the universe “If you give me this, I promise I will do this in exchange.”? Is that really being redeemed? Am I losing my religion more than I already have?

I’m sure I could expand upon all of this into something bigger critiquing current day politics and religion, but I think I’ll leave it at that. And as always, your thoughts are beyond welcomed.

Last week for the pop culture girls was a busy one, and it seems as if there is no reprieve is in sight. I’m still catching my breath from it all (well, from that and after seeing Harry Edward Styles this weekend at MSG, but I digress…). I’d like to congratulate and thank everyone who made last week a fun one on the Internet. Great work by all involved.

This issue of the newsletter will be more of a thinking exercise, dear reader, as I’d love to get you thinking and spark a dialogue on the topics below. And to also be a bit snarky, of course.

Let’s do a quick reap of everything that has occurred, shall we?

• HRM Queen Elizabeth ll passed away. RIP girli pop.

• Despite much speculation, Trisha Paytas did not go into labor yet, and therefor the Queen was not reincarnated into her baby. Fingers remained cross though.

• Don’t Worry Darling and spit-gate. Need I say more, other than that we are indeed worried?

• Lea Michele began her run as Fanny Brice in Broadway’s Funny Girl. A mere few days later, she tested positive for COVID and the people’s Fanny Julie Benko returned in the role. Takeaway is this production is cursed.

• NYFW

And that’s just scraping the surface.

@taylamaree_2002Oh shoot #fyp #foryou #trishapaytas #queenelizabeth #trishapaytaspregnant

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To briefly touch on my experience seeing Harry, other than it being euphoric, I left Madison Square Garden thinking that there is not an ounce of creativity amongst us the fandom, myself included, when it comes to style. I saw at least five others with the same pants as myself, as we all tried to embody the bubbly, colorful, 70s aesthetic Mr. Styles is known for.

The tweet below has also had me thinking for the past 24 hours, and indeed does have me worried. We must prevent this!

Now I’m not a hardcore Kar-Jenner gal (I generally save that part of my brain for Broadway news), but I do keep myself informed. Kim’s Interview Magazine cover and feature was released last week, to very little fuss. When I first saw it, I thought to myself, “Well this is a flop,” and I wasn’t alone in those thoughts. I saw many “this is the Kardashian decline” sentiments, and I don’t disagree. It feels as if the family’s attempts at capturing the public’s attention are more and more dull, uninteresting, and not innovative. We’ve been force fed the same content for years now - do we care anymore?

The cover in question

My favorite moment of NYFW so far was the Fendi Baguette show (video below), with a cameo by supermodel Linda Evangelista. You might recall that Evangelista recently opened up about a cosmetic procedure that she said left her “disfigured.” A giant of the 90s supermodel heyday, Evangelista had not made a runway appearance in over a decade. This was indeed a massive moment of this fall’s Fashion Week.

@declanchanThe is going down in the history book of fashion @fendi

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Shows I’ve recently watched:

• Nathan Fielder’s The Rehearsal

• Blackbird on Apple TV+, starring Taron Egerton

• House of the Dragon. This past Sunday’s episode 🥵

What are you currently watching?

And finally, here’s a photo from a recent event of of my friend Whitney Ullman and I with Tre, Dorinda, and Dolores (because why not?).

As a quick recap of questions to discuss:

• Is Harry Styles receiving the Justin Timberlake treatment, and therefor destined to a terrible fate?

• Are we bored of the Kar-Jenners, and in turn are they over?

• What was your favorite NYFW moment?

• Is the Funny Girl production cursed?

• What shows are you watching?

Thank you as always for reading, and share your thoughts!

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On my walk outside, I pass a window which shows my reflection. Have I lost some weight? There’s no way. I’m not sure I’ve ever not looked at myself when passing a reflective surface, whether it’s to admire myself or fully embrace the self-loathing on my bad days.

My colleague and I will go outside in the back of the building for a moment of reprieve in the summer heat. It's there I often wonder why the people across the street still have an autumn wreath hanging on their door. And why I’m still doing this.

Anyway, in this current moment, I can barely finish this one. My brand of choice is American Spirits, the yellow pack, but they don't taste as delicious as when you're having one drunk (my other favorite numbing agent). The Wellbutrin®, vitamins, vegetables, and “hot girl walks” can only do so much to alleviate the omnipresent anxiety. The multiple hours I spend on my phone certainly doesn’t help, that I can admit. But some things are too difficult to give up cold turkey.

I throw out the half-smoked cigarette into a puddle in front me. Where has this puddle come from, I wonder, as it hasn't rained in days. I look at myself again in the reflection of the murky puddle, already littered with other cigarette butts. What am I doing? I ask myself.

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And that’s on vulnerability. I know this is a bit different than what you might expect from this newsletter, but I hope you enjoyed some brief ramblings.

I figured we could do a little check-in and chat about some social media stuff. Shall we?

Next week I’m off to Lake Tahoe for a girls trip. I feel lucky to still be close to 11 people from college, so close that we’re willing to fly across the country for nearly a week together. If you have any recommendations for this area, send ‘em my way! We’ll also be spending a night in Reno. My knowledge of this city only extends to that of what was on Reno 911, so if there’s anything to check out there please let me know!

Me in Reno for less than 24 hours

And then me in Lake Tahoe

Lady Gaga’s highly anticipated Chromatica Ball kicked off this past Sunday in Düsseldorf, Germany. Did I watch a Twitch live stream of the concert at the bar this weekend? You bet. Do I have understanding friends who tolerate me? Consider me #blessed. Was I absolutely stunned that she opened with Bad Romance? Yes! That rah-rah lady keeps us on her toes (although this fan has an interesting theory as to why she opened with that song).

I’ll be seeing the show next month and cannot wait to reunite with Mother Monster. My vision for my outfit is slowly coming together in my brain. I’m sure it will be a case where it seems like a “slay” in my head, but the execution will be less than stellar and poorly constructed (it will be my LaLa Ri moment). Stay tuned!

Let’s chat about BeReal…

Much like the “Little Miss” memes, the BeReal memes have taken over my Twitter and Instagram feed. And I’m not mad about either! The success of the Little Miss and American Girl Doll memes is that they are so personalized (or at least appear to be, because at the end of the day we all have much of the same sense of humor, wants, needs and interests). “We need an American Girl Doll” who survived the rapture) or “Little Miss Needs her Diet Coke” = immediate reposting. Of course, the shelf-life of a meme doesn’t last for very long, but for now we’re having fun.

It me!

But back to BeReal. If you’re not familiar with the app, it really wants to promote capturing the moment in the now. Each day at an unexpected time, every user will receive a notification simultaneously that it’s time to BeReal. Users then have 2 minutes to photograph what they are doing in that exact moment. The photos last on your feed for about 24 hours, until it’s time to BeReal again the next day. If you miss the 2 minute mark, your post will show that you’re X amount of minutes late. If you do multiple attempts to capture your BeReal, it shows how many photos you took. It also shows if you’ve screenshot someone else’s post. That’s the basic summary of it.

During the week, the feed is typically filled with photos of myself and friends at work, whether that be at the office, the hospital or at home. But it’s fun! I love seeing what my pals are up to! My only gripe with the app is when the BeReal notification doesn’t occur when I’m doing something I consider to be cool. It’s also a fun time when you’re in a public setting and the notification goes off, and suddenly everyone is shouting “IT’S TIME TO BEREAL.” We are all zombies, huh?

My exclusive access to the mind of Gen Z - my teenage cousins - tell me that they feel that BeReal is already on the way out (although it’s just hitting the mainstream now, they’ve probably been at it for months). They can assure me that TikTok is still cool. But because I, a 30-year-old, am now writing about both of these apps, I’m sure I’m making them significantly less in vogue.

I recently attended a virtual social media conference, where I asked the question, “Should brands be on BeReal?” The speaker responded that brands should “watch, wait and listen” to see how users even begin using the app. Rachel Karten, a writer of one of my favorite newsletters Link in Bio, wrote about if and when brands hop onto BeReal. Definitely check out that piece.

To end this week’s newsletter, are some of my favorite BeReal memes below. Talk soon! xo

Thanks for reading and subscribing to Why Don’t You Cry About It? And if you haven’t yet, whatcha waiting for? Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support this little corner of the internet. You can also find more on my public blog here.

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Consider this a reprieve from the madness of this world. Or at least, I hope it is for you. I feel silly writing a newsletter this week, but truthfully I just needed to let out a giggle via writing.

So, this past Friday, my girlfriends and I gathered at a friend’s apartment to be together and commiserate. To provide some level of comfort to us, we decided to partake in one of our favorite activates - watching music videos and live performances after a few bottles of wine.

It was only natural that we began with Harry Styles performances, which then led us into Coldplay’s 2016 Super Bowl performance which featured Beyoncé and Bruno Mars (the only crime about that performance was it was done during the day instead of at night. Time zones, man).

I then had my opportunity to perform Lady Gaga’s 2017 Super Bowl performance, aka the greatest Super Bowl performance in the halftime show’s history. No, I will not be taking questions or opinions. If you’d ever like a mediocre reenactment of this performance, I’m your gal!

The algorithm then took us to Madonna’s 2012 Super Bowl performance. The Queen of Pop began the show with Vogue. One thing I thought was interesting, or at least refreshing, was that her performance consisted of nearly full songs, other than the short song snippets we’ve grown accustomed to.

We then transition to Music… which is when the madness begins…

Around the 4:21 mark, you’ll hear an unmistakable “yeah,” followed by a “woo!”.

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

It is revealed that uncle/nephew duo Redfoo and SkyBlu of LMFAO have taken the stage during Super Bowl 46’s halftime show

The gasps that we let out.

The show also featured Nicki Minaj, M.I.A, and *shudders* CeeLo Green, but I just really want to focus on the LMFAO of it all. You’ll also notice a cherub of a man doing flips on a tightrope, and I would like to hear his story one day, as well.

Back to LMFAO. Party Rock Anthem came out in 2011, and yes it was a whole moment, BUT WHY. Madge sits on Redfoo’s shoulders, and she later inexplicably lifts his red cape. Nothing made sense. Who was in rehearsal approving this? I’m really sorry to also report that they proceeded to shuffle in unison as Sexy and I Know It played. Just watch for yourself and let me know what you think.

Just a few months after this performance, the duo announced that they would be on an indefinite hiatus. They really just came in, performed at the damn Super Bowl and dipped, huh?

Madonna is one of the biggest stars to ever exist, so therefor I ask…

Why did she dedicate a full, whole minute to promoting Party Rock Anthem??? On arguably the world’s biggest stage? When she has an entire legendary discography to choose from?

How did this collaboration come to be? Whose idea was this?

Perhaps some questions are better left unanswered.

• Scroll

• Ad

• Reel of someone I don’t follow

• Where are the photos?

• Another ad

• Who is that?

• I already saw this on TikTok

• Another ad

• WHO IS THAT?!

• Closes app

And thus describes today’s experience on Instagram.

“Is Instagram over?”

It’s the question I’ve been asking myself recently. Whenever I’ve been doing my bi-hourly scroll on the app, I feel more devoid of inspiration and just actually caring, more so than the usual dread social media brings. To be totally honest, I feel like an old-head using Instagram in the way that I do now, and it feels as if Instagram is the new Facebook (@ Meta).

A prophecy perhaps!

Where’s the drama! Where’s the pizzazz! The joie de vivre! Or at least, the illusion that once was (this won’t be a post about the inauthenticity of social media).

Obviously there are also the old standards as to why it’s losing its luster, such as comparing oneself to others, mentally and emotionally draining, feeling frustrated with engagement/performance, etc… but it’s fallen quite a bit as platform.

Ever since the Zuck took over the once photo-only sharing app (and don’t get me started about the current head of Instagram), it’s been molded into an advertising, money-making machine - for example, so many of my notifications now are from Sephora proclaiming that an item is now on sale. This all shouldn’t come as a surprise. The app did also continue its trend of stealing features from other social apps, with TikTok being the latest (how long until it includes some sort of BeReal feature?).

All this to say - it’s not fun anymore. And this isn’t a dig at any creators, because so many of my favorite creators make fantastic content on Instagram, but rather the direction the app is taking. I personally don’t even feel the desire to create content for Instagram anymore. When I say this, I mean my personal account, not for any brand accounts I work on. Which leads me to saying, these changes in Instagram have affected how I approach social strategy in my job.

I recently tweeted the reasons why I’m currently not liking Instagram, which includes the following:

• Suggested Reels (I can’t see myself getting behind reels when we have TikTok, especially when I just repurpose a TikTok as a Reel).

• Posts from ppl I don't follow because I liked similar content (this is what I use the explore page for).

• The onslaught of ads/sponsored posts (not people doing them, but sponsored posts thru Insta).

• Suggested products I might like.

I also asked on my Instagram story if people feel similarly, and here are some of the responses below:

So, I ask - what are your current thoughts on Instagram? Do you see yourself staying here?

That’s enough ranting for today, mmmmm g’bye

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If you lived in the Philadelphia-area in the mid-aughts, there was only one place to go during formal or prom season. That place was the King of Prussia Mall’s Jessica McClintock store.

In this hallowed place, one (one being your 2006 high school self) would scour the store for well over an hour, possibly elbowing a girl from a neighboring high school as you both reached for the same dress. Walking into the store, I can remember the colors gold and white, bright lighting and carpeted floor. It was like the gates of heaven opening.

I may have been in college when, while paying a visit to the KOP Mall after several years, I realized that the once popular and sought-after store was no longer there and was replaced. A sign of the times.

If you’re feeling particularly nostalgic, you can peruse the Jessica McClintok graveyard that is Poshmark

A Jessica McClintock dress was the ultimate statement of glamor and elegance; it was a status symbol. It was the Versace of middle-class America, a brand that anyone would clamor to wear for a school dance. Because the dresses’ designs were so recognizable, wearing one was akin to the Abercrombie & Fitch moose symbol stitched onto a hoodie. You wanted people to know that you were wearing a JM garment. And while not as a strong symbol of the early-to-mid-2000s as a Juicy velour tracksuit, they were held in a similar regard.

Simply put, you couldn’t tell us nothing while wearing a McClintok dress.

Dresses came in sage green satin with an embellishment at the décolletage. Taffeta in shades of blue. Light pink silk with a dainty black bow. Deep purple chiffon with rhinestones. Looking back, they had no business mixing brown with blue and pink so much.

And then there was this dress.

The polka-dotted, tulle underskirt-ed, formal dress completed with a black ribbon around the waist. A moment of silence.

Image found on Poshmark

As there was with any formal type dance, rituals were held. We would confirm amongst each other, sometimes via Facebook groups, that no one else purchased the same dress - God forbid. The evening of the dance, we would gather at a friend’s home, Canon digital cameras in hand for photos. Our hair would be sprayed and formed into stiff banana curls, or up-dos with two tendrils placed just so. We posed and giggled as our parents snapped away.

I can’t quite recall how the brand allure came to be. Perhaps it was seen on Laguna Beach? The high school seniors wore Jessica McClintok gowns to prom, which then trickled down to us lowly lowerclassmen? It had already been a well-established, prom dress label in the 80s and 90s. It’s very possible that by the time I reached high school, both myself and the brand experienced a re-birth.

My then-boyfriend Greg and I at my Soph dance. I felt beautiful in this dress. And Greg’s tie matched perfectly ❤️

It’s been well over a decade since the heyday of the brand, and it has since gone through a rebrand, now offering perfumes, eyewear, and home decor. But as I looked through old Facebook albums, the memories of the dress I wore to that Soph dance still linger. Despite what the style of dress may look like in 2022, we were stars of the red carpet in 2006.

So, if you still have a Jessica McClintok dress, I hope you preserve it as you would a wedding gown. Hold onto her tightly, and never let her go.

I leave you with an honorable mention.

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You're really gonna like today's interview, I can promise you that.

Welcome writer and author Casey Dexter!

How did I come to track down the illustrious author? Casey is a fellow Delta Gamma sister (ITB) and college colleague, as we went to Penn State together and were in the same pledge class.

Casey has just released her debut novel, Industry Friends, which highlights the "chaotic, uncertain, humbling, and lonely experience of being a 20-something." The novel also takes us to the behind-the-scenes of television, which is something Ms. Dexter has plenty of experience of, as you'll read below.

Casey has been a lifelong writer, starting early in high school as copy editor of her yearbook. She's since continued as a student of the Upright Citizens Brigade in NYC where she's taken sketch comedy writing classes. She's published several satirical articles on digital comedy platforms Slackjaw and Points in Case and has been featured in a print literary magazine for her creative non-fiction work.

I'm so grateful to Casey for taking the time to chat with her during her busy week (she threw a fabulous launch party just this past weekend), and I cannot wait to devour this book. Enjoy Casey's interview below!

Purchase Industry Friends here

Firstly, congratulations on the release of your debut novel, Industry Friends! I have so many questions for you, but my first would have to be what inspired you or drove you to begin writing a novel.

Thank you! I’ve always loved having creative side projects in addition to my full time job, and before I started the book I just had this feeling that I was ready for a new challenge. Pre-pandemic, I was taking sketch comedy writing classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) in NYC and really loved it. I looked forward to class every week and was excited to share my sketches (SNL table-read style) with my smart, funny, and collaborative classmates. I’m big on having hobbies outside of work that make you think in a totally different way. Unfortunately, classes stopped when the pandemic hit, and I felt like I’d lost a really important outlet. I contemplated grad school, writing a pilot script, moving to LA, everything - the works! My friend, Chloe Cullen, told me about a book program she was doing, and I instantly knew that’s what I wanted to do. Thinking of the story was actually the easy part! I had gone through some career-related experiences that I felt were seldom talked about, and I knew I wanted to shed light on the unhealthy worship of a “dream job.

You've had an incredible career working in late night television, from Conan to Seth Meyers, to also being an NBC Page. How have those experiences inspired your novel? 

For the longest time I was obsessed with pop culture and television and knew that was what I wanted to do as a career. Every time I set foot in a new studio, whether it was for shows like Conan, SNL, or the Today Show, it felt like a religious experience. It was a privilege to contribute to the success of shows that I’d grown up idolizing.

However, those jobs have a non-glamorous side too, and by twenty-five I started to feel really burnt out. I loved working in TV so much, but it completely dominated my life. I struggled finding ways to balance being a young, fun person in the city with a demanding career and dwindling physical/mental health because I wasn’t sleeping enough. (Of course, this is just my experience-- I know people who are still in television and can balance it all, and I am jealous of them!)

Those combined experiences of incredible highs and unforeseen lows definitely served as the inspiration for my novel. I wanted to show a peek behind the curtain of how cool, yet tough, working in TV can be. The podcasts, books, TV shows, and films I had turned to when starting my career failed me after I’d gotten a “foot in the door.” They all taught me how to work hard and pursue my passion, but none of them addressed what to do when I was dissatisfied. They didn’t explain how I would know when it was time to leave. In fact, I noticed most stories stopped once the main character reached their goal. But what happens after? What if their goal wasn’t what they expected? 

I wanted to show the “aftermath” in my novel, because I think it’s important for people to know that there is life on the other side of tough decisions or letdowns. Plus, I feel like a lot of people have these realizations in their 20’s and feel embarrassed- even though it’s not their fault. We are allowed to change our minds or admit we feel disappointed by something.

Could you share a bit about what your writing process is like? When you experience writer's block or were stuck on writing a chapter, how do you/did you deal with that? 

I wrote my book entirely out of order! I’m not sure if that’s recommended… I just tried to think about what I felt excited by that day, and that’s the chapter that I would write. Writer’s block is so tough, and so I really wanted to make sure I felt energized by whatever I was writing or editing in the moment.

My program, The Creator Institute, was also really helpful. I could always reach out to my editors or fellow writers for inspiration. They also hosted zoom sessions where all we would do was write, but it felt nice to have “company” and a dedicated time to writing. I woke up early several mornings a week and committed to an hour of writing before work. And then also committed to an hour of writing after work. Just sticking to those little blocks of time, no matter how productive, really helped me turn my chapters into a story.

At the end of the day, I definitely still look back at my book and think of all the things I want to change but just didn’t think of in the moment. It’s natural. It doesn’t make it any easier to realize you overlooked a potentially good idea, but I think that’s all part of the creative process. You just try to bring whatever you missed into your next creative endeavor.

We are allowed to change our minds or admit we feel disappointed by something.

Did you have people in your life that you would turn to when writing this novel? What advice helped you throughout your writing process?  

Absolutely! Even though the actual writing of my book was done alone, it was an incredibly collaborative process. I had weekly zoom meetings with my editor who was so helpful and great. He understood early on what I was trying to do (despite me submitting chapters out of order) and really helped me shape my story arc and heighten the tension. 

I also sought advice from my friend, Chloe, who is a really talented writer, on deadlines, first drafts, copyediting, etc. Because she did the program first, she was my guiding light on what to expect.

Lastly, I turned to my industry friends, who shared their anecdotes, thoughts, and reactions to working in television, and that really helped me when I felt like my plot was lagging.

My final question for you... One thing I'll always remember about you is your love for Conan O'Brien. What is your all-time favorite Conan bit or joke?

LOL Conan is the best!!! My opinion of him hasn’t changed in all the years I’ve been a fan-- he is truly the most genuine man in television. My first internship ever was at Conan and it really set the bar high. It was the best job I ever had in the industry--and I pit cheese plates in the dressing rooms!! (among other things). It just goes to show how an amazing work environment can lead to professional happiness and growth. I was able to experience so much in that summer because of how friendly the staff was and how out of their way they went to make sure I got the full late night TV knowledge.

From his bits with Jordan Schlansky, to his trips to countries like Haiti and Cuba, there are so many good moments, but I think my favorite bit of Conan’s is actually whenever Paul Rudd is a guest. Since 2004 Rudd has been trolling Conan by playing a clip from the 1988 film “Mac and Me” instead of showing a clip from his newest movie. He even did it most recently on Conan’s podcast. It always makes me laugh.

Thank you so much Casey, and congratulations again! Buy Industry Friends today!

Heyyyyy….

Surely it hasn’t been over a month since I last snuck my way into your inbox…

It has been. 42 days to be exact.

To be quite honest with you, nothing has felt particularly exciting to write about. And although it feels like little-to-nothing has happened since we last chatted, quite a bit has happened.

Unfortunately I still do worship at the altar of celebrity, so I figured we’d do a little pop culture round-up while we (aka me) get ourselves in order here. We’re doing it quick and dirty today!

I have absolutely no intentions of seeing Top Gun: Maverick, and the Gaga song was only somewhat exciting to me (don’t tell her I said that, and I blame Bloodpop for it). What I absolutely do have intentions of seeing is Don't Worry Darling.

Mr. Styles… oh Mr. Styles. With your little dance moves and your little bops. I am very much enjoying his new album, Harry’s House, much like most of the Internet is. I have cried no less than three times to Matilda. And I’m certainly not alone in that.

I have had a giggle at the TikToks proclaiming that we’ll lose Music for a Sushi Restaurant to supermarket advertisements, which we surely will. I’ve found myself creating ads to this song in my head, it just works to well. “This week only, two for one strawberries at Acme!” What a fun little exercise.

And if we’ll stay in 1D-related news… 😕 Can we get a pulse check on Liam Payne’s publicist? I just know that they’re not doing well. To catch you up to speed, Liam went on YouTube bro Logan Paul’s podcast and broke a lot of hearts by things he revealed about his time in the band. As sad as it was to hear this, none of it should be surprising. They all experienced an ungodly level of fame at such a young age. And while there are some things Liam said I think are probably false, I do believe that Simon Cowell did initially center the band around him. I’ll need to stop there, because I’ll go on all day.

Drag Race All Stars all winners season has been a breath of fresh. To have Jinx Monsoon and Raja back on our television screens?!? Thank you RuPaul Charles. And if you’re not watching The Pit Stop with Bob, you are missing out.

I’m sad about Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey’s break-up, they were such a hot couple.

I unfortunately don’t watch Stranger Things but I’m very happy to have Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) consistently on the FYP.

I used to think it was ~cool~ to write about social media trends on my ~cool~ little blog, but now it’s making me feel like more of an out-of-touch millennial than ever before?? Anyway, are you on BeReal? I’ve dabbled in it, and am forcing my friends to, as well. Rachel Karten wrote about how brands might be using the new social media platform, which is really aimed at true online authenticity (although that will never, ever happen).

Obligatory Playbill-against-the-stage-photo, which was taken after the show, because my friend Katie and I did something we have never done before - showed up to a show late.

I recently saw Michael R. Jackson’s Tony-nominated show A Strange Loop, which follows Usher, a queer, Black man writing a musical about a Black, queer writer writing a musical about a Black, queer writer, etc. It’s a brilliant and moving work of musical theater. What a joy - a privilege, really - it is to watch and experience a piece of art or story through the lens of someone else, that wasn’t made for someone like me, a white woman. Perhaps someone should tell Hanna Rosin that?

Speaking of, Fire Island was a pure delight of a movie. Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers have made several appearances on this here newsletter, and if I haven’t already bugged you to listen to Las Culturistas, this is me bugging you. Parasocial relationships conversations aside, yada, yada, yada, it really is so exciting to see two individuals you genuinely admire and appreciate doing so well in their artform. Ding dong!

And what an incredible moment in cinema this is:

Last night friends and I caught a live show of one of our favorite podcasts, Sexy Unique Podcast with Philly’s own Carey O’Donnell and Lara Marie Schoenhals. They recapped season 4, episode 12 of Vanderpump Rules, “Leis Liquor and Lies.” You know, the episode before when Jax steals the sunglasses. It’s actually incredible how far this show has fallen, as re-watching this episode transported us back to the show’s glory days

Now I am now comedienne or improv expert (like, by no means at all), so it is truly like watching a masterclass in comedy with Carey and Lara. Their flow is so effortless, their timing is perfection.

And finally, does anyone want to buy me this $75 candle? It’s for research purposes.

If you would like to chat about any or all of the above topics, you know where to find me! And you can also find me online elsewhere.

Spoiler alerts for the musical Spring Awakening lie ahead

If you have a musical theater lover in your life, you may want to steer clear of them next week, as it will be a time full of suppressed emotion bubbling to the surface. The Spring Awakening documentary, Spring Awakening: Those You've Known, premieres on HBO on May 3 (the same day we’re getting a new Gaga song, so blessed). The special features the original cast and creative team, as they chronicle “their whirlwind journey back to the stage,” fifteen-years later.

Now if you’re not a musical theater person, hear me when I say this is the musical for you. The score, written by Duncan Sheik of “Barely Breathing” fame, is as close to rock, musical theater perfection as you can get. I recall countless nights lying in bed, Walkman in hand, with Spring Awakening on repeat.

The musical is based on the 1891 German play Spring Awakening by Frank Wedekind, and is a coming-of-age story full of teen angst, as well as innocence.

For those quiet, shy kids who had an affinity for theater, Spring Awakening was our way of rebelling. I can only image that similar feelings were felt when Rent premiered in 1996. We saw ourselves on stage, as we ourselves began to question our own faith and peers. It was our secret, as we assumed our parents didn’t know what the show was about. “It’s a musical, how edgy could it be?” we imagined them saying. Little did they know.

I had torn out this photo from a Teen Vogue issue and taped it to my closet wall. I stared at it often.

With song titles such as “The Bitch of Living” and “Totally Fucked” we felt defiant, mature listening to it. Those songs were our anthems. And the first time I heard “Touch Me” I understood everything. I understood (or at least at that time, I thought I did) love, desire, lust. And the haunting melody and lyrics of Those You’ve Known still lingers.

I believe Spring Awakening was my first Broadway experience (either that or Legally Blonde). I don’t think my mom realized that at 15-years-old I would be seeing t*ts and ass on stage. But boy, did I. The production itself was almost like an act of defiance. The band was on the stage! They cursed and gave the middle finger! Audience members could sit on stage! We saw two men kiss! Perhaps it was the nearly 10 years of Catholic school that had left my body when I entered the theater that day or my limited life experience, but I couldn’t get enough of it.

And the cast. Jonathan Groff and John Gallagher Jr. were rock stars. And Lea Michele was the person every theater girl wanted to be. We had our poor Moritz Stiefel, nervous, unsure, and confused about the act of growing up. And Melchior and Wendla, acting on their impulses, whether they knew what they were doing or not. Both representing the different aspects and feelings of growing up.

This Tony Performance was life-changing

Spring Awakening was a constant during my teenage years. At my sixteenth birthday party, the DJ played “My Junk” and my best friend Katie and I slithered around the dance floor, attempting to do the show’s chorography. We would later go on to perform “The Dark I Know Well” (which is arguably the show’s darkest song) at a SCHOOL FUNDRAISER. I still cannot believe we did that.

We and other friends would also randomly burst out in song dialogue:

“No, I love you Hänschen, as I have never loved anyone.”

“And so you should.”

When I briefly went to Temple University for a semester I took an acting class, which was a ray of light during a very depressive spell. For our final project, we could perform a scene from any play, musical or movie of our choosing. I suggested to my partner that we do a particularly delicate scene, where the character of Melchior hits Wendla with a switch. I’m pretty sure we got an A. Darren, if you’re out there, you’re a good sport and I owe you a drink.

As I mentioned earlier, I, and my friends who loved the show, were around the same age as the musical’s characters. As Melchior says in “The Mirror-Blue Night,”

But there's nowhere to hide
From the ghost in my mind.
It's cold in these bones
Of a man and a child.

Many of us who discovered this musical when it first came out were just entering high school, when life was as confusing as it could ever get. And for those around my age, I think that’s why Spring Awakening holds such a special place for us. We discovered ourselves through this show.

As I’m typing this I’m listening to the entire soundtrack, something I haven’t done in a very long time. And now I remember why - it always makes me cry. Crying because I love this musical so very much, and crying because of how much it impacted a younger me. Everything that was puzzling to me during that time made sense because of that show.

Spring Awakening gave me the answers.

And all shall know the wonder
I will sing the song of purple summer

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“What makes a pop song great?”

It’s the question that has eluded the world’s greatest scholars and philosophers for centuries. Perhaps it’s the catchiness of the beat, or the sticky, sweet lyrics but there certainly is a formula that makes a pop song great.

But which one is the greatest?

Something deep within me decided that it was my responsibility to explore what the greatest pop song ever written was. It’s possible I was on my umpteenth listen of “I Don’t Do Drugs” by Doja Cat and Ariana Grande which sparked the idea (side note: Doja Cat is the next big pop star that we’ve been waiting for).

By definition, pop music is popular music, and can span across different genres. When we think of pop music, we think of female-fronted songs and boy band singles. And while we don’t have the time today to fully dive into the history of pop music (The book Season of the Witch: How the Occult Saved Rock and Roll does an excellent job explaining this), we’ll briefly touch on it.

So the journey begins. I tried to put my personal biases aside (sorry Gaga). I considered the greats - Mariah, Britney, Whitney, Janet, Madonna. I thought about every cassette and album I’ve ever listened to, from the complimentary Dream Street album that came when you purchased *NSYNC’s Celebrity in 2001, to Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 7 which I played on a heavy rotation.

I’ve listened to far too many Now That’s What I Call Music! CDs on a stereo that looked like this.

I also laid out criteria, which included the following:

• Level of legendary status

• Power to make everyone excited and rush to the dance floor

• Mainstream plays and popularity

• Impact on mainstream culture

In an effort to further better navigate these waters, I turned to social media where I asked “What do you think the best pop song ever written is?” and I thank all who contributed. I encouraged people to consider not what their favorite song is, but the best (I made a playlist of the songs, plus some additional ones that needed to be included).

Below is a selection of some of those responses:

• Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen

• Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

• Crazy in Love - Beyoncé

• Firework - Katy Perry

• Call Your Girlfriend - Robyn

• Style - Taylor Swift

• Blank Space - Taylor Swift

• I Knew U Were Trouble - Taylor Swift

• Ray of Light - Madonna

• In Your Room - The Bangles

• Toxic - Britney Spears

• …Baby One More Time - Britney Spears

• What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction

• Beat It, PYT, Billie Jean - Michael Jackson

• Life on Mars - David Bowie

• Timber - Pitbull ft. Kesha

• TikTok - Kesha

• Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

• Rain On Me - Lady Gaga

• Emotions - Mariah Carey

• Super Bass - Nicki Minaj

• Closer - The Chainsmokers and Halsey

• Bye Bye Bye - *NSYNC

• Yeah - Usher ft. Lil Jon & Ludacris

• We Found Love - Rihanna

• Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus

• Sorry - Justin Bieber

• Into You - Ariana Grande

So I listened, and I thought, and I thought some more. And suddenly, the answer came to me.

The greatest pop song ever written is…

“Gimme”More by Britney Jean Spears

“It’s Britney, bitch.”

You can hear the intro now, can’t you? All it took was three words to change the course of music forever. It takes that simple, beautiful, wonderful phrase to send a party into a tizzy, guests fighting to make their way to the dance floor.

“Gimme More” is the lead single off of Spears’ 2007 album, Blackout. The song was released during a particularly tumultuous point in Spears’ life and career. She had already experienced an ungodly level success early on in her career, but 2005-2007 left us with uncertainty.

The public had gone four years without a new album from Spears, and paparazzi stalking was becoming more of a serious issue. If we can put aside the invasion of privacy, her personal life being heavily publicized and scrutinized - and the fact that she had recently given birth - it was the perfect time to release new music.

What she delivered was pop excellence. The word “iconic” is thrown around far too much these days, but the opening line of “It’s Britney, bitch” is truly iconic. It is forever cemented into pop culture, and forever remains a fan favorite. The song references the public spectacle her life had become (Cameras are flashin' while we're dirty dancin', they keep watching), and the beat was infectious. And while the first live performance of the single did not go over well (to say the least) is it not something that we’ll remember forever, for better or for worse?

After an already incredible career, Spears still managed to surprise us with “Gimme More”. As the song’s producer Danja proclaimed at the end of the song, “Bet you didn't see this one coming.”

To explore the impact and importance of “Gimme More” and Blackout further, I suggest listening to this episode of the podcast It’s Britney, Bitch!, hosted by Spears historians T. Kyle and Bradley Stern.

As I mentioned earlier, while I didn’t have the proper amount of time to go into the history of pop music and the extent of Britney’s illustrious career, I do hope I’ve pleaded my case as to why it’s the greatest pop song ever written.

So, what do you think? I look forward to hearing your thoughts, whether you agree or disagree. Shoot me a DM. 😉

Long live Britney.

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I know, I know. What could be a more overdone topic than Coachella? Each spring, our disdain and contempt for the Palm Springs music festival known as ‘chella finds its way back into the conversation.

My friend Grace and I once spent a day in 2016 acting on social media as if we were at Coachella, pointing at random NYC street objects (a street light, a trash can, a crumpled up newspaper), which we then turned into a band name. For example, we would speak in our best Valley girl voices and say into the camera, “Checking in from ‘chella! We’re so excited to see Lamp Post’s set, but first we have V.I.P for Crumpled Paper.” It was funny to us, and maybe three other people who watched our Instagram stories.

I don’t want to totally shit on the festival here, but it opens itself up to criticism and online cringe. It’s part of the experience, both as an attendee I would imagine, and as an online spectator.

The Coachellas of yore

The first weekend of the music festival kicked off this past weekend, and we had our first glimpses of what it was like. In between TikToks of Harry Styles’ set and him introducing Shania Twain, another moment began to garner attention - Revolve Festival. Every hyper-online reporter surely will be writing about this today (I’m looking at you Taylor Lorenz), and while I am no reporter, I would love if you would indulge me as I share my two cents.

Over the weekend, TikToks began rolling out about the apparently ill-fated 2022 Revolve Festival, with it being compared to Fyre Fest levels of disaster. The popular clothing company once again hosted its annual event, which is planned around Coachella. Influencers are invited to attend and document their experience and promote the brand, while experiencing lavish parties tailor-made for social media, free clothing and other perks. While not my belief, to be invited by the brand to this event or to achieve Revolve Ambassador status is considered to be one of the pinnacles of “making it” as an influencer, as the brand has been the darling of content creators everywhere.

It wasn’t long however that we began to see that this year’s event was less than stellar, as Joseph Kapsch began reporting. Attendees were stranded and left in the hot desert sun, while - allegedly - clamoring over who was most famous and should therefor be saved first (it’s giving Titanic).

In a sense, Coachella and Revolve go hand-in-hand - overpriced, and they both give off the illusion of being exclusive. And when we’re speaking about Revolve here, I’m not so much talking about the clothing, but rather how they work with influencers and market themselves.

In order to better understand this as a whole, I encourage you to view the TikToks I’m linking below.

Alyssa Amoroso, aka publyssity, shared in a TikTok about her experience at a 2019 Revolve Festival. Another influencer named Meghan Rienks attended a previous Revolve Festival, and posted a TikTok with a comment comparing the brand as Shein for mean, rich girls.

Another TikToker posed a question I and I think many others often have, “Are we over influencer culture?”

“It’s the same girls doing the same poses in the same places in the same outfits. It’s fucking boring.”

It’s hard to disagree with that. And if you go to the one minute and three second mark of this TikTok, you’ll see that statement in motion.

Now, before it comes across that I’m on my high horse over here… yes, I own a Revolve item or two or three (I loved my 30th birthday dress). Yes, I do #sponcon (I promote my Parade discount code [code milliephanatic for 20% off], we can roast me). And YES - if I see a gorgeous backdrop, you can absolutely bet I’m asking my friends to take a photo of me. I am not excluding or absolving myself from this conversation, as I am actively contributing to it. And if I had the opportunity to go to Coachella? Put glitter on my face, give me a brimmed hat, and get me onto the next flight.

The pillars of Coachella photo backdrops - the Ferris wheel and the rainbow tower, Spectra

Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to speak to several college classes about having a career in PR/marketing, as well as a bit of my ~ influencing ~ hustle. Throughout my experience in speaking with these classes of Gen Z-ers, I’m continually amazed in the amount of young people who want to pursue influencing or content creation as a full-time career (although this shouldn’t come to a surprise to me). And please don’t read that as me judging their choices, as that’s not at all the case. I’m also in fear that with their extensive knowledge that Gen Z will take my job, but that’s another story…

So my question is - what is the future of influencing?

It’s the conversation we’ve had over and over again, as everything has become too curated and people are too much of a walking advertisement. Instagram has been reduced to an online shopping platform now, and trends are made for a single Instagram post. We’ve talked briefly before about the lifespan of trends today (shout out to the OG House of Sunny Hockney Dress). Nothing feels unique, special or exciting anymore. And again, I need to make it clear that I contribute to this on a near daily basis.

There’s a type of influencer I like to call the “copy-and-paste influencer.” One who simply copies and pastes whatever press release they receive as their Instagram caption, without a touch of originality to it. Of course this is the purpose of the press release - to provide accurate information and details, and I regularly include information directly from press releases on my blog. But it’s understood that a content creator would - and should - add their own personality. I fear for the copy-and-paste influencer, as authenticity, genuineness, and originality is something online audiences crave more and more.

Between the desire for more authenticity and the uptick in video content, that’s where the future of influencing is headed and already is. Past that though, I have no idea.

My final thoughts…There’s nothing more in this world that I love than a big, old PR flop, and previously I would gobble up every online take by any Tom, Dick or Harry like it was a Thanksgiving feast. But guess what - even I’m growing bored of that.

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The desire for celebrity public bedlam is somewhat - ok, very - sick and perverse. Is it the need to see someone presenting the picture of perfection display some type of flaw, or to be able to say, “Celebrities - they’re just like us!”? Perhaps they are the clowns performing in the circus that is fame, and we are the audience, waiting in eagerness to point and laugh. Whatever the answer is, here we are - yet another newsletter about celebrities. Onward!

Before we get into the actual award show, I would like to take a minute to discuss the sacred duty that is red carpet coverage.

The presence of Joan Rivers has never been missed so deeply as it has been than this past award season. Never have I so longingly ached for the acknowledgement that an outfit is objectively bad. Not every outfit is “slaying” or “boots the house down.” Sorry, but it’s simply the facts! There are terrible 👏 fashion 👏 choices👏 being 👏 made!

And now for the verbiage that’s being used… Not every celebrity is iconic and legendary. Someone stars in one hit movie or has two chart-topping songs? A legend does not make. The word “legend” is reserved for the likes of Aretha Franklin, Judy Garland, Patsy Cline, King Arthur, and Beowulf. As someone who often speaks in hyperbole (some might say exclusively talks in this way), it might feel hypocritical for me to say these things. And yet, I just did!

I will say, my new favorite thing to say now is “What story is your gorgeous ensemble telling us?” à la Laverne Cox.

My favorite looks of the evening:

Japanese Breakfast, Lil Nas X, Saweetie, Lady Gaga, and Doja Cat (my favorite look). Photos from The Cut

Billie Eilish’s tribute to Taylor Hawkins as she sang “Happier Than Ever” was especially poignant. I will go on record and say that this was my Song of the Year.

Gaga was doing a lot of hand-under-chin work, as nearly every time the camera panned over to her, she was locked in that position.

Screenshot from the New York Times

Finally, I’ll end with that I finally understand the BTS obsession. For me, that was the performance of the night.

On a serious note, congratulations to all of the winners and nominees. As someone who at somewhat attempted a career at music, it sure as hell isn’t easy, and therefor I commend you.

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Before we begin - may I suggest putting on Cinema - Skrillex remix to really get us in the proper headspace?

Once upon a time, many moons and listens to Avicii’s Wake Up Me ago, I experienced a style conundrum, an identity crisis. A preppy, punk pickle, if you will. You see, circa 2012-2014 I was an unrecognizable person. I touched on this slightly in one of my past pieces - wanting to fit in with the preppy aesthetic of the sorority I had newly joined, while still fantasizing about the “edgy girl” I had planned on becoming in college.

Before we go further, let’s first explore what the lay man’s “style” during this time was…

I’m not sure if the style of this time period has been giving an official name yet, as we have with the “indie sleaze/twee” movement of 2008-2011. If we haven’t, may I suggest that it includes “preppy” in the name? Because it certainly played a large role these years. I hate to add to the indie sleaze/vibe shift/whatever discourse, as it’s been beaten to death. But I WOULD like to put it on the table that it’s possible that 2012-2014 trends could one day make a comeback. And hopefully it’s when I’m six feet under.

In chronological order - 1.) Required business casual for a sorority event, a flex 2.) Interning in New York City for a summer 3.) A Tobi skater skirt that I wore to death 4.) A Lilly Pulitzer dress that was too short on me

Back to my style quandary. In order to illustrate this better, I’ll refer to two major style bloggers of the time - Rachel Lynch and Sarah Vickers. One ran a blog titled ihateblonde, the other one named Classy Girls Wear Pearls (another muse during this time was Rosie Londoner, but that’s a deep dive for another day). Both of these blogs are still in existence*.

*Let’s do a quick sidebar - In the ever-changing landscape that is social media/blogging/content creating, both of these ladies managed to continue their online presence (presences?). And for that, I tip my hat to them. Viva la style blog!

Rachel was - and still is - an edgy New Yorker, donning over-sized sunglasses, knee-high stockings and colorful fur jackets. She was the festival-going, city-dwelling, bleach-blonde, what-I-perceived-to-be-punk side of myself that I desperately wanted to unleash.

We find the polar opposite in Sarah Vickers, a New England argyle-wearing prepster who runs a successful clothing business alongside alongside her fellow influencer husband Kiel James Patrick. I hate to admit just how obsessed I was with this couple, but I hung onto every one of their Instagram posts.

My two muses during this time, Sarah Vickers and Rachel Lynch

How could I look effortlessly put together, yet like a carefree bon vivant at the same time?

I think this question encapsulates how it felt to be in your early 20s around this time. We were beginning to learn how to create an online presence (the blogs were popping off, Instagram was the new, shiny toy), while at the same time applying to internships.

All this to say, I was in style - and personal identity - limbo. And I remained in limbo, with my personal style to show for it.

Chevron prints reigned supreme and Stella & Dot necklaces adorned my neck. I carried a Lilly Pulitzer tumbler with my sorority’s print on it. Half of my clothing at the time had anchors on it. Weekends were spent in high-low dresses, bandage skirts and Jeffrey Campbell Lita shoes. Hunter Harris, one of my favorite writers, captured the spirit of this era perfectly in her piece titled Put This Dress In The Smithsonian. And this 2013 Guest of a Guest article will transport you back in time immediately.

While the trends mentioned above lasted a year+, trends now last, what, a millisecond (we’ll save the fast fashion discussion for another day)? Early 2000s style came back, was beaten to death, and went back into the coffin. How long will it take until the same happens with indie/twee style revival, before it’s even really begun?

It’s near impossible to consider what trend from 2012-2014 could eventually resurrect itself. Other eras had at least some element of cool. What could possibly come back?

Just please don’t let it be sock buns.

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