It was in August 2024, after I attended my first CMDA conference - the quadrennial Joint Students' and Doctors' Conference - that I made a little vow to myself: I would never miss another conference held in August.

CMDA is the Christian Medical and Dental Association.

Since January 2026, I had already begun making plans for the students' national conference. I started saving for my transport fare sometime in June and looked forward to August with excitement. I had plans to inform my parents about the trip and seek permission to be excused from my campus fellowship for that weekend. I registered before the deadline.

Everything seemed to be falling into place.

But eight days before the conference, I took ill.

I prayed. I exercised faith. I received medical treatment. But I still did not recover fully enough to attend the conference.

I remember sobbing one night when it finally dawned on me that I would not be able to attend. Sitting before God with severe headaches and malaise one afternoon, I quietly prayed:

"Lord, if it pleases You for me not to attend this conference, please give me rest in knowing that this too is Your will, and help me not to sorrow over this disappointment anymore."

It was a quiet prayer, but it worked.

I didn't get well immediately, but something shifted within me. I joyfully accepted the turn of events and began to see the silver lining of God's hope through the dark cloud of my disappointment. I later joined some sessions of the conference virtually and was blessed in no small measure.

Sometimes, God's will disrupts our schedules. His purpose may interrupt our plans.

A door we were certain would open may remain shut. A journey we had carefully prepared for may be delayed. A relationship we thought would work may end. An opportunity we prayed for may pass us by. Something we have laboured for may take longer than we expected - or never happen in the way we imagined.

And sometimes, there is no immediate explanation.

This is one of the difficult parts of walking with God: His sovereignty does not always look like our plans succeeding.

"A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps." (Proverbs 16:9 )

We plan. We prepare. We pray.

And then God, in His wisdom, sometimes leads us somewhere we did not plan to go.

Some Christians have interpreted faith in God as confessing what they desire and always receiving it. But sometimes, faith is surrender.

Sometimes faith is believing God for the mountain to move. And sometimes, it is trusting Him when the mountain remains.

It is the quiet rest we receive when we let go of the plans in our heads and embrace the reality God has provided.

The mountain does not always move - not because God has failed, but because He may have chosen to honor our faith in a different way.

Maybe He did not remove the mountain. But He drilled a tunnel through it.

Maybe He did not change the circumstance. But He is changing you within it.

Maybe the delay is not denial. The closed door is not abandonment.

And the disappointment is not the end of the story.

We often see interruptions where God sees redirection. We see delays where He sees preparation. We see endings where He sees the beginning of something else. We see unanswered prayers where He may be working in ways that are still hidden from us.

When next life happens and you find your hopes dashed, do not be too quick to conclude that the enemy has prevailed or that you have failed.

Stop and consider. Pray and think. Meditate and observe.

Perhaps what looks like a disruption is an invitation to trust.

What feels like a loss is making room for a different kind of gain.

What if God is asking you to release what you planned so that you can receive what He has prepared?

For the believer, disappointment does not have the final word.

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Not that all things are good. Not that every disappointment feels good. Not that every delay makes sense.

But that God is able to take all things - even the things we would never have chosen - and work them according to His purpose for our good.

There is nothing that happens in the believer's life that catches God by surprise.

So when your plans are interrupted, don't immediately assume that God's purpose has been defeated.

Sometimes, the interruption is the purpose.

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Happy New Month!

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With love,

Haske.

God had just made man.

The crown of His creation. The only creature for whom He said, “Let us make...in our image.” The one He gave dominion over His handiwork. The one for whom He stooped and touched clay - his most prized possession.

God had just given the command.

To eat freely of every tree except one. The one tree from which, if they ate, they would surely die.

With all that God put in place, man still fell.

That one suggestion that became a conversation. The conversation that led to consideration. The consideration that birthed compromise.

In a moment, God's perfect plan came crashing like a pack of cards (so it seemed). The one He entrusted with authority had lost it, and everything else crumbled with it. Sin entered creation. Man lost his place. Every other creature was subjected to frustration and began to groan beneath the weight of the Fall. And Satan, the deceiver and accuser, found an opening through man's disobedience.

Amidst this chaos, God still came. Like always, in pursuit of the one He loved.

Adam and Eve have run their race, but the events in that Eden have continued to unfold through human history.

Maybe you're today's Adam. Or you're tomorrow's Eve.

Your life, a shadow of what it was created to be. Broken by shame. Seared by trauma. Buried in despair...

You look nothing like the creature of dominion described in Genesis 1:26.

The first question God asked the first man, He's asking you today:

Where are you?

Not, “What have you done?” or, “Why did you do that?”

He's not asking because He's oblivious of your whereabouts - of course, He's omniscient - but because He wants to confront your hiding. He wants to bring you out from behind the fig leaves you've carefully sewn together. He wants you to stop running and acknowledge where you are.

I know you started fine in ministry but have corrupted your priesthood along the line.

Your solid Christian background positioned you for a great destiny, until that addiction took you off course in college.

That marriage would have worked out, had your flawed character not gotten in the way.

That child you prayed for became a source of sorrow instead of the joy you imagined.

That promising career gradually became a monument to compromises you once swore you would never make.

You know the story. You know where things went wrong. You remember the decisions, the people, the moments, the little compromises that seemed insignificant at the time but eventually became chains.

And now you stand somewhere you never imagined you would be.

Where are you?

Heaven knows your GPS, but you must identify your location by yourself.

Adam never said where he was. He only blamed Eve.

You can blame your upbringing. Blame the people who hurt you. Blame the environment. Blame the opportunity you never had. And perhaps, in some cases, those things truly did wound you.

But healing cannot begin while you are permanently hiding behind them.

Do not go on answering questions God did not ask. Stop explaining your condition by pointing to what someone else did.

Disclose your location to God already. Acknowledge that you are responsible for your failure, regardless of who played a role in it and confess that you are helpless without God.

This isn't an accusation to drown yourself in shame. It is an invitation to step into the light.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9).

God doesn't ask you to hide until you are clean. He asks you to come into the light so He can cleanse you.

Give up your fig leaves.

They may cover your body's nakedness, but they cannot wrap the shame in your soul.

The help you are needing is on the other side of “Where are you?”

Not because God doesn't already know.

He knows. He has always known. But God is calling you to acknowledge what He already sees.

Adam hid, but God came looking.

The prodigal wandered, but the Father watched and waited. Peter denied Him, but Jesus came searching for him again.

The same God who walked into Eden looking for a fallen man is still the God who comes near to broken people.

So stop running away from God.

Come out of hiding. Come messy, shameful, exhausted,

Come with the addiction you haven't conquered, the marriage you have damaged, the ministry you have compromised, the years you have wasted, the wounds you cannot explain, and the sins you are afraid to confess.

He sees the mess you have made with your life and still chooses to pursue you.

But before restoration comes recognition. Before healing comes honesty.

Before you can ask God to change where you are going, you must be willing to tell Him where you are.

“Where are you?”

Don't answer with an excuse. Don't answer with someone else's name. Don't answer with another question.

For once, answer Him:

“Here I am, Lord.”

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With love,

Haske.

“The problem with a living sacrifice is that it can crawl off the altar.”

- Rick Warren.

To the Christian who is in a season where the easiest thing to do is stray from God.

All it takes sometimes is just a thought, or a conversation, a movie, food, a “me-time” or even sleep.

You thought it was a comfort issue. Maybe you are too relaxed. Maybe you’ve made room for slothfulness. Then you discovered that adversity made you stray away too.

Financial challenges plunged you into a tight hustle culture and daily devotion has slowly become another item competing for your already divided attention.

Family distress drove you to the edge and your faith began to feel like another burden you could no longer carry.

Disappointment with people made you question the God who allowed it.

Academic pressure, career uncertainty, unanswered prayers and the weight of responsibilities began to consume the mental space you once gave to God.

Sometimes, it wasn’t even a major tragedy. You were simply tired. Exhausted. Emotionally drained. And somewhere between surviving the day and preparing for the next one, your secret place became a place you stopped visiting.

Maybe you’ve concluded something about yourself - something is wrong with you, and your pursuit of God is hypocritical.

You should know something today: every believer can stray away from God.

How is that possible, you ask?

Scripture itself warns believers about the possibility of drifting:

“Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.” - Hebrews 2:1.

Is that bad news? Maybe. But is there a remedy Surely.

The psalmist, speaking in Psalm 119:112, said:

“I have inclined mine heart to perform thy statutes alway, even unto the end.”

Look at the word incline.

He would commit himself to the task of “bending” or “sloping” his heart (soul, mind and consciousness) towards God and His Word.

The good news is, believers don’t have to do this heart inclination entirely by themselves.

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”

- Philippians 2:13

This is the believer’s remedy.

We expect to get saved and have a jolly ride with no bumps and bends from justification to glory, but if God did that, we may never know the bliss of transformation and the beauty of surrender.

You can pray today and not feel like praying tomorrow.

You may avoid pitfalls today and swim in temptations in another.

Your friends could praise God for you this week and wonder if you know Him some other week.

Your heart can walk away from God.

Not once. Not twice. But many times - as often as you let it.

This is not to endorse laxity. But like they say, “to be forearmed is to be forewarned” - arm yourself with this understanding and train your heart to stay.

•

Bend your knees even when prayer feels like a chore. Sing those hymns that break your heart in contrition before the Lord. Pray in tears, pray under your breath, pray in whispers, pray out loud; fall before the Lord and pray somehow.

Open your Bible app when the physical pages are hard to touch. Play those sermons while you eat, drive, walk, do laundry or just stare into oblivion. Flip through the pages of that good Christian book.

Stroll into church when the zeal to run there has faded. Sit put when the message becomes hard and your cold heart would rather get distracted by sleep or doomscrolling. Attend prayer meetings, Bible studies, vigils, worship sessions; go even if you lack interest in these programs.

Casually say, “pray for me” when you feel your strength waning. Have friends you can call when the enemy has laid siege against you. Seek mentors who can always commend you to God.

•

And when your soul wants anything but God,

And your mind would think nothing but sin,

Or your eyes would only behold evil,

Learn to say, “God help me.”

It may be hushed. It may be quiet. It may be in tears. It may be just a whisper.

But that too is prayer - and God will hear.

Beloved,

Do not let your heart get comfortable with walking away.

Carry your living sacrifice to the altar - EVERYDAY, even if you have to crawl there;

God will accept it.

Remember that your acceptance before God rests not on the strength of your performance, but on the finished work of Christ.

You have a Faithful High Priest, and He will perfect what He has begun in you.

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Until I write you again, may you have grace and have it in abundance.

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With love,

Haske.

I never thought about this question - or its answer - until one Thursday evening during a church meeting when my pastor, by the inspiration of God, shed light on it.

One of God’s many attributes is His omniscience. The dictionary defines omniscience as the capacity to know everything, and omniscient as having total knowledge.

To put it into perspective, consider the weight of that definition.

God knows everything that was, is, and is to come. He knows what happened before the heavens and the earth were created. He knows what will happen after the earth passes away. He knows everyone who will ever exist in history - their lives, family backgrounds, social statuses, struggles, privileges, and destinies, both in time and eternity.

He knows what will happen before it happens. He knows what could have happened but never will. Nothing surprises Him. Nothing catches Him unprepared.

The omniscience of God is a mind-blowing concept.

Now, consider that this unquantifiable attribute of the eternal God makes Him stoop to ask questions of finite humans who do not even know whether they will wake up the next day.

Does it sound condescending to you?

Actually, it seems almost funny to me. It looks like a parent who has hidden some snacks and is asking his toddler where they are.

But you see, it is neither condescending nor funny.

When God asks men questions, He is not searching for information He does not possess. He is not playing mind games, nor is He putting His sovereignty to the test.

God asks questions to bring the condition of our hearts into the light.

Think about the number of times Scripture records God asking questions.

In Genesis, after Adam and Eve sinned and hid themselves among the trees of the garden, God asked Adam, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:9). God certainly knew where Adam was. The question was not about Adam’s location; it was an invitation for Adam to confront what sin had done to his relationship with God.

When Cain killed Abel, God asked him, “Where is Abel your brother?” (Genesis 4:9). Again, God knew. But Cain’s answer exposed the posture of his heart.

Centuries later, God asked Elijah, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:9). Elijah had fled in fear and discouragement, and God’s question became an opportunity for him to express what was happening within him.

In the New Testament, Jesus repeatedly asked questions that exposed the hearts of those around Him. He asked His disciples, “Who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15).

He asked Bartimaeus, “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mark 10:51), even though Jesus knew the man’s need.

He asked Peter three times, “Do you love me?” (John 21:15–17), not because Jesus lacked knowledge of Peter’s heart, but because Peter needed to confront and confess his love after denying Him.

In Revelation, the risen Christ confronts the churches with questions and searching declarations that expose their spiritual condition.

To the church at Laodicea, He says, “Because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold…” (Revelation 3:15–17). The question is not explicitly phrased as “Why are you lukewarm?” but the confrontation serves the same purpose: Christ reveals what the church has become and calls it to repentance.

From Genesis to Revelation, God’s questions have never been about acquiring information. They are about revealing what is already inside us.

In proving our hearts, He exposes our deepest motives and most hidden intentions.

The fear that masks itself as caution.

The pride that disguises itself as confidence.

The lust that looks like ambition.

The bitterness that presents itself as discernment.

The desire for control that masquerades as wisdom.

The shades of us that aren’t readily on display.

Everything - good, bad, and ugly.

And perhaps this is one reason we should not be afraid when God asks us questions.

Sometimes His questions are mirrors.

“Where are you?”

“Where is your brother?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Who do you say that I am?”

“Do you love Me?”

He already knows the answer.

But perhaps He asks because we don’t.

He asks so that, in searching our hearts, we may discover what He already sees. And when He reveals something broken, impure, proud, fearful, or misplaced, He does not expose us merely to condemn us.

He exposes us so that we can surrender.

David understood this when he prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts” (Psalm 139:23).

The God who already knows everything still asks questions.

Not because He needs our answers.

But because sometimes we need to hear ourselves answer.

And when His questions reveal something in us that we cannot fix by ourselves, we can find grace in the One who already knew, and still came looking for us.

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May we have grace to stay sincere and keep our hearts true to the One with whom we have to do.

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With love,

Haske.

Sometimes, the most spiritually unsettling seasons are not the seasons when we are running from God. They are the seasons when we are simply busy.

Life becomes a succession of ordinary responsibilities: classes, assignments, work, family, people who need you, church, ministry, sleep - or the lack of it. Before long, even simple things become difficult to maintain.

As a Christian medical student, this has been especially obvious for me. There are lectures, slides, assessments, people to pray for, responsibilities to fulfil, and the ever-present need to rest. Somewhere in the middle, I have had a quiet fear:

“Am I still finding God the way I used to?”

There are days when my Bible remains closed longer than I would like, prayer feels rushed, and my mind is too crowded to meditate deeply. Sometimes I am so occupied with living that I wonder whether I am still living consciously before God.

Maybe you can relate to this.

It is easy to interpret these seasons as spiritual failure. But perhaps there is something else we need to learn.

God is not only found in extraordinary moments. He is found in ordinary days.

There are seasons when you can spend hours studying the Bible and praying. There are also seasons when you have little time, but offer it to God with your whole heart.

Perhaps grace is not always asking for more time. Sometimes, grace is teaching us to meet God faithfully with the time we have.

“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.”

- Colossians 3:23

What keeps a believer going even when they feel spent and ready to quit? What keeps us praying when prayer feels difficult? What makes us open the Bible again after an exhausting day? What keeps us desiring the salvation of others?

Drive? Determination? Discipline? Passion? I don't think so. It is grace.

Grace, I used to think, was the supernatural provision by which God saves a sinner from the consequences of sin.

But that is not all there is to grace.

Grace is the gentle nudge that pulls you towards the place of prayer.

It is the lingering conviction that tells you to forgive your offender.

It is the desire to know God's Word when entertainment would be easier.

It is the willingness to serve people when nobody is applauding.

It is the strength to begin again after failure.

It is the quiet inclination towards God that you cannot completely explain.

“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”

- Philippians 2:13.

Even the will to do what pleases God is something God graciously works in us.

When you call God Father,

When ordinary air enters your lungs and you wake up to another day,

When you have strength for another assignment or responsibility,

Another opportunity to repent, another chance to love, another reason to hope, another morning to begin again,

That is grace.

Sometimes, grace is fierce - compelling you to do what brings glory to God.

Other times, it is quiet. Not dead. Not absent. Just a flicker of hope that refuses to go out when life gets difficult.

“Who hath despised the day of small things?”

- Zechariah 4:10

Grace is present in the best days:

Healthy. Energetic. Closing deals. Winning souls. Making money. Receiving good news. Watching prayers become answers.

But grace is also present in the worst days:

Temptations abound. Your guard is down and your convictions have failed.

Your body is worn or sick. When your purse is lean.

People desert you.

Your prayers seem ineffective.

When you have little strength left for anything - including the things you once did joyfully for God.

Grace is still there.

The Christian life is sustained not only by spectacular interventions from God, but by His daily mercies.

“It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning.”

- Lamentations 3:22–23.

Not only the mornings when you wake up excited about God.

Not only the mornings after a powerful worship service.

Every morning.

This means that the ordinary Tuesday is not spiritually insignificant.

The quiet room where you pray for ten minutes instead of two hours is not outside His presence.

Whether spiritually alive or barely whispering a prayer, God remains God.

So, believer, keep finding Him.

Find Him on the days when you are excited and when you are exhausted.

Find Him when the Bible study is profound and when you can only hold on to one verse.

Find Him when your prayers feel powerful and when all you can say is, “Lord, help me.”

Find Him in church gatherings and crowded classrooms, in answered prayers and waiting, in winning and enduring.

Don't wait for life to become interesting before you become attentive to God.

Sometimes the miracle is not changed circumstances, but grace to remain faithful in them.

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

- 2 Corinthians 12:9.

You may not always have extraordinary strength, time, or opportunities.

But you will never have an ordinary God.

His grace has never reduced, depreciated, or diminished. It will never run out, and you will never exhaust your need for it.

Because grace is God's riches at Christ's expense.

When tomorrow looks ordinary, don't overlook it. When the day feels repetitive, look again.

When you are tired and your spiritual life does not look the way you wish it did, don't run from God in shame.

Come boldly.

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

- Hebrews 4:16.

Your usual days are just as gracious as your best days.

There is extraordinary grace in ordinary days.

Keep walking with Him daily.

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With grace,

Haske.

God has favourites.

Yes, I am convinced about the unconditional love of God towards everyone, but there are people who hold a special place in God's heart.

He prioritizes them. He thinks of them. He deploys resources for them.

These people are Christians. No, not the random church-goers. I mean, those with purged consciences, broken spirits and contrite hearts.

The people:

whose desires are influenced by the Holy Spirit.

whose ambitions are surrendered at the feet of Christ.

whose weaknesses are masked by God's strength.

whose greatest longing is not self-expression but God-glorification.

The people who cannot live their lives the way they want or how society dictates, but how God's Word prescribes.

See what this passage says, "The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit" (Psalm 34:18).

Again, "To this one will I look: to him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, and who trembles at My word" (Isaiah 66:2).

There is something about a heart that bows before God that continually attracts His attention.

Child of God,

Now, it may look like you're missing out because you cannot do what every other person does. The moment you do, your conscience puts your whole being on fire until you right the wrong.

They lie easily, but the moment you do, you lose peace until you confess the truth.

They fornicate easily, but your mind will not even let you consider flirting.

They steal easily, but your heart will not let you look at somebody else's property more than once.

Sometimes you wonder why everyone else seems comfortable with compromises that leave you restless.

You ask yourself why your heart refuses to settle after what others would call "a small mistake." The answer is not that you are overly sensitive. It is that the Spirit of God is faithfully at work within you.

A conscience that is alive before God is both a gift and a safeguard. It refuses to negotiate with sin. It disturbs your comfort whenever you begin to drift. It draws you back to repentance before your feet wander too far from the narrow path.

Though the conviction may be painful, it is evidence that your Father has not left you to yourself.

In Hebrews 10:22b believers are encouraged to "draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience"

God does not merely forgive His children; He also purifies their consciences so they can walk before Him with sincerity and holiness.

You're not strange. You're not weird. You're not missing out on anything.

If anything, you are being preserved.

Many people celebrate freedoms that eventually become chains. They silence their consciences until they no longer hear its warnings. What once troubled them no longer bothers them. What once produced tears now produces excuses. That is a dangerous place to be.

Someday, you'll be grateful to God for the gift of a lively conscience.

You will thank Him that He refused to let you become comfortable in sin.

You will thank Him for every sleepless night after compromise, every gentle rebuke from His Spirit, every conviction that led you back to the cross instead of deeper into rebellion.

By all means, keep that conscience alive in God.

Guard it. Feed it with God's Word. Respond quickly whenever the Holy Spirit convicts you.

Never become so familiar with sin that it no longer grieves you.

The tenderness of your conscience is not your weakness; it is one of heaven's greatest gifts to the believer.

Satan can do anything with a deadened conscience.

But a conscience that is continually cleansed by the blood of Christ and kept tender before God becomes one of the strongest defenses a believer possesses.

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May God keep us broken and tender in spirit.

May his seal upon our hearts perpetually shield us from hardness. Amen.

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With love,

Haske.

Nicodemus probably had a busy day attending councils, praying long prayers, passing judgments, and teaching the Law. As a prominent leader of the Jewish religion, perhaps the close of the day was the only time he could afford to meet with Jesus.

Or maybe he was simply afraid of being identified with Jesus by the other hostile religious rulers.

Whatever his reasons were, one thing remains undeniable.

Regardless of Nicodemus' position, Jesus declared the truth that every human being, regardless of status, background, or achievement, desperately needs to hear:

"Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3)

What does it mean to be born again?

If you take the term literally, it means to be born another time. Everyone has already experienced a biological birth, that is the natural birth. To be born again means experiencing another birth that transcends this natural realm: the supernatural birth.

A perfect expression of this experience is captured in the word regeneration. When anyone believes in Jesus Christ, God imparts the life of His Spirit into that person. This encounter reaches the deepest part of the human being- the spirit, and transforms him in a way nothing else ever can. John 1:13 describes believers as those who are "born...of God."

According to Ephesians 2:1–9, God quickens you from spiritual death to life when you are born again. The death inherited through the Adamic nature as a result of man's fall - expressed in sinful thoughts, ungodly desires, wicked habits, and rebellious actions, is broken, and a completely new life begins.

This encounter transforms you so thoroughly that the person you were before believing in Jesus is fundamentally different from the person you become afterward. The change may not always be accompanied by dramatic emotions, goosebumps, tears, or an overwhelming sensation. But it is always accompanied by something far deeper, the inward witness of the Holy Spirit and the peace of a conscience cleansed before God.

Why do you need to be born again?

Because without this experience, you cannot see the kingdom of God.

God's kingdom is not limited to a golden city beyond the starry skies. It is first the reign of God in the heart of a man. It is a life joyfully submitted to the lordship of Jesus here on earth before it is fully experienced in eternity.

It is a life that increasingly hates sin and loves righteousness.

A life that no longer depends on public approval for affirmation because its identity is rooted in Christ.

A life governed by truth rather than feelings, by obedience rather than convenience, and by grace rather than self-righteousness.

You need to be born again because God's kingdom is not reserved for good people. It is prepared for God's people.

No amount of morality can replace regeneration. Religious activities cannot substitute for a transformed heart. Church attendance, charitable giving, and sincere intentions, though commendable, cannot produce the new birth. Only Jesus can.

I could go on and on, comparing Scripture with Scripture and trying to explain this glorious reality. But it will remain a theological concept until you personally experience it.

There is no greater hindrance to your regeneration than yourself.

Today, if you will lay aside your pride, stop worrying about what others may think, count the cost, and genuinely believe in Jesus Christ, the course of your life will change forever.

You do not need more positive affirmations.

You do not need better resolutions.

You do not merely need another motivational speech.

You need to be born again.

Support groups may help you fight destructive habits. Therapy may help you understand your wounds. Wise counsel may strengthen your resolve. All of these have their place.

But only the saving power of Jesus Christ can break the dominion of sin and give you a brand-new heart.

Nothing can fill that emptiness within.

Not more parties. Not more money. Not more achievements. Not more relationships. Not more pleasure.

There is a void in the human soul that was created for God, and only Jesus Christ can fill it.

The better life you are searching for is found on the other side of faith in Him.

If, as you read this, you realize that you have never truly surrendered your life to Jesus, or you desire to return to Him with all your heart, you can sincerely pray this prayer - not as a magical formula, but as an expression of genuine faith.

Dear God,

I acknowledge that my life is incomplete without You. I confess that I cannot save myself, and I admit that I am a sinner. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, that He died for my sins, and that He rose again for my justification. Please forgive my sins, cleanse me by His precious blood, and save me. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Give me the grace to walk in this new life and to grow daily in the benefits of Your salvation. Thank You for receiving me as Your child.

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

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Until I write you again, may you find grace to keep basking in this perfect experience.

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With love,

Haske.

Today's newsletter would be incomplete without an apology to my dear readers. I have not written or published a letter in about a week, and that's why you haven't received one from me since last Friday. Even though I always keep a stack of manuscripts for future publishing, I usually incline my heart toward God to know the particular piece to share at a given time.

I resumed my 4th year in medical school recently, and my daily rhythm has changed significantly. Because I vowed never to send a piece whose message my life invalidates, I needed to catch my breath and find stillness for my soul before God.

So, forgive me for making you wait.

I'm back.

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“And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, I believe; help thou mine unbelief”

-Mark 9:24.

When I wrote this piece some time ago, I was in a rough place. The path felt slow and very hard.

It was quiet. I was not alone, but it felt like I was the only person living in a large house.

My prayer life was dwindling. I would pray one day and then go many days without prayer.

My Bible was usually closed. If not for Bible apps that made access easy on my phone, I might have stopped reading completely.

I often avoided God's presence because I felt unworthy. And worship was mostly mechanical.

Week after week, the cycle continued until one day, while I was pounding pepper, the Holy Spirit broke my heart. I quickly rounded off my cooking and ran to Abba.

I wanted to kneel, because kneeling looks more pious but honestly, I couldn't. So I just sat and cried like a baby.

Among the many things I said in prayer that day, I still remember saying something similar to what the father of the epileptic boy in the verse at the top of this letter said:

“Lord, I know what to do to seek you, but I have become very unwilling. Please, make me willing…”

It was not a long prayer, but God said many things to me afterwards and I ill encourage you with some of those words today.

Beloved,

God is not disappointed by your humanity.

Neither is He frightened by your weaknesses.

He knows you more than you know yourself.

When He chose you, He took your imperfections into consideration and loved you, even before the mistakes you would make.

Sometimes, you convince yourself that by doing or not doing certain things, God would love you more.

"If I pray more, God will be more pleased.

If I study more chapters of Scripture, Jesus will be happier with me.

I will do more spiritual things so that heaven will be proud of me."

And so we go, placing ourselves at the center, practicing performative Christianity and plunging our weary souls into an endless cycle of trying to earn God's love.

This mentality is what makes you run from God when your Christian life becomes hard.

It sponsors structure without spirituality.

It makes you believe that to be fit for God, you must leave Him and work on yourself first.

See,

God does not love you because of what you do or do not do. He loves you because of who He is.

Is there really a sacrifice you can offer to God that would be more pleasing to Him than the sinless One His Son, Jesus, offered?

I don't think so.

Let this understanding liberate you.

God does not love you less when you make mistakes.

Jesus does not regret dying for you if you fall into sin.

The Holy Spirit does not leave you when your altar begins to grow cold.

Who falls into a gutter and avoids the bathroom because they don't want to stain the floors?

Or which child gets injured while playing and refuses to go home because they think their mother would be angry at their rough play?

Did you fall into sin?

Have you done what you said you'd never do again?

Do you feel like a lost cause?

Is your heart telling you that God is fed up with you?

This is your call:

Run back to the Father.

There is hope for that dry Bible study life.

There is hope for that dying prayer altar.

There is hope for those broken relationships.

There is hope for that fruitless ministry.

Bring your weary soul - He restores.

Bring your stained garments - He cleanses.

Bring your cracked vessel - He mends.

God is not a policeman waiting for you to break the law so He can arrest you.

He is the loving Father into whose arms you can always run, no matter how far gone you are.

His strength is made perfect in your weakness.

Always remember: when your humanity chooses to "disgrace" you, that is a perfect opportunity for His divinity to "engrace" you.

And if you ever lose your willingness like I once did, please do not be ashamed to say, "Lord, help my unwillingness."

Because the willingness was never yours in the first place - He gave it to you.

If He made you willing the first time, He will do it again and again until you are perfected in Christlikeness.

Learn to always run to God.

He never gives up on you.

“For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

• Hebrews 4:15 & 16.

.

With love,

Haske.

The day Mama died, I had checked her blood pressure grudgingly because she interrupted my breakfast.

My family called her Mama Chari but other people called her "mama usher" or "mama deeper life". She was an old lady whom I never knew so much about. But I remember my mother saying she used to be a "sissy Lagos" in her prime until she encountered Jesus and left her old life. She had an only son who passed many years back. So throughout the decade I knew her, she had neither husband nor child.

Growing up, I believed my mother had 3 best friends and she was one. She was a sweet woman whose laughter lit up the darkest moments, although my mother sometimes complained of her quick temper. She loved my siblings and I like she birthed us herself and particularly cared for my autistic older brother whom she fondly called, "my Willie".

It was a regular Monday morning in July and I was at home for the break after my pre-medical year, awaiting my results before beginning my preclinical studies. Having done some chores, I proceeded to open my mother's small shop and sat to enjoy my breakfast while watching people walking across the street, greeting some and quietly criticizing others for their strange looks - it was an interesting thing to do.

"Ejulaaaa!" as she fondly called my middle name without the 'R', Mama Chari yelled in her usual gayness as she approached the gate.

"Oh, gosh! She's here again...", I mumbled under my breath as I went to welcome her. She settled in as my mother came out to say hello.

"Ejura, cover your food and come check her BP" my mother requested. I grudgingly left my food while faking a smile. Using my parents' sphygmomanometer, I measured her blood pressure and it was awfully high - as usual.

"Have you been using your meds?", I asked while uncuffing her sweaty arm.

"Oh, I guessed it would be this high because the recent headaches have been terrible! I've run out of my medications but I'll get some on my way to the market this morning...", she said, giggling in between her words. I always wondered what made her so happy.

Mama had had hypertension and arthritis for a long time but none of these things ever stole her joy. Having no close family of her own, my family and the local church had become her own people. She had a small stall in front of her one-room apartment where she sold sweets and spices. This small business helped keep worry and loneliness at bay. She was loved by all who knew her and was committed to visitation and follow-up in the local church.

At about noon the same day, my mother returned from "Monday market" and asked me to deliver some goods she bought for Mama to her.

"Sister has a shop but she never goes to the market and only sends others. What a special businesswoman!" my mother exclaimed while sorting out the goods. I delivered the goods to her, she blessed me with kind words and thanked my mother profusely. I hurriedly left because her one room was usually hot, and worse, her room always smelled like garlic.

By 6pm, the weekly Monday Bible Study had begun and as usual, Mama Chari was among the few who were always early to church. She came, dropped her small bag at the back of the auditorium and went to our house to thank my mother. I was already in church, cleaning the chairs and getting set to lead worship. At half past 6pm, I got on stage to lead worship and was having a great time while at it. A few minutes in, I saw my mother walk briskly into the church to call the women's leader. My mother looked panicky and my heart skipped many beats.

What happened? Did my father slump? My father had been sick during that period and I feared there was an emergency. But I managed to keep my cool until the session was over, then I hurried out of the church and headed home.

I went round through the backyard and the sight which greeted me was one I would not forget in a hurry. Mama Chari was lying on the tiled verandah with her lips tilted to the right. The women leader was pricking her thumb while praying under her breath, my sister was performing CPR while Sister Ajibola was praying on top of her soprano voice in between loud sobs. My mother just sat on the floor beside her friend, staring into oblivion and whispering "Jesus, please". It was the first time in my life I had seen my mother this dazed by an emergency. She was always the actively praying woman whose faith, trouble could not dim. But that evening, she sat quietly like a child beside her dying friend.

It took another 15-20 minutes before a vehicle arrived and some men struggled to move Mama into the car. She was big.

I could not return to church. Nobody present at the scene could. Some went to the hospital but my mother and I did not.

"Mama came in to thank me for the stuff I got her earlier today. I briefly excused myself to get dressed for church and when I returned to the parlour, she was sweating profusely. Although she's big and I know she sweats a lot, this one looked rather strange. She asked to use the toilet and I said she could use ours beside the bedroom but she insisted she'd use the visitors' outside. As I walked her out, she started slumping and I couldn't hold her steady...we didn't even reach the restroom before my sister began losing her breath...she loved me so much, she decided to come die in my house!" my mother narrated in tears while we waited.

Three hours later, the brethren who left for the hospital returned without Mama Chari. Before they dropped the news, I already knew. The claws of grief gripped me and I could not resist as I sank into its embrace.

"They said Mama Chari is dead..." I said with a breaking voice. My mother held her head in disbelief and could not cry. Everyone else cried but my mother continued to stare into space.

My father had to lay hands on her and prayed with her until she fell asleep but she repeatedly woke from her sleep that night, saying she saw Mama. It took days for my mother to recover from the initial shock.

Mama's service of songs hosted people in their hundreds. The large church auditorium was filled and canopies had to be used for those outside. Some hung around the street to witness the occasion. Testimonies of a life well spent poured in from neighbours and brethren. Many said they were sure Mama was now resting in heaven.

Her funeral was held in her hometown, in Benue State Nigeria. My mother did not go. But back at home, I watched as she sat quietly and exclaimed "Oh, my sister has gone home!" at intervals. My sisters and I intentionally kept her company so she would not float away in grief, that period.

It was days after Mama Chari's death that my mother began to tell us things about her late friend. She often told my mother that she was the only one who knew so much about her, after God and herself.

"Mama used to say she wanted to die quietly because she didn't want to be a burden to us and the church. She once told me that instead of living till late old age and becoming a vegetable, she'd rather die in the house of God...I don't know but I think Mama's death during the Monday Bible Study was God's answer to her prayer...I always told her not to speak such but she laughed it off...Oh, I miss my sister...", my mother told us one evening. I was shaken.

And just like that, Mama Chari went to be with the Lord on a regular Monday evening at a little above 60years of age. She loved Jesus deeply and served him passionately - she even died in a green pleated skirt which she wore to officiate as an usher that evening. She followed up new converts and visited distressed brethren faithfully. If you ever notice someone's regularity in church meetings drops, ask Mama Chari, she always knew why because she visited them. She loved my autistic older brother and cared for him dearly, she made him feel special, not in some weird way but in a way that affirmed his abilities. Her joyful living, despite hypertension and arthritis made her a reference point for Christian disposition in suffering. Her quiet life yielded much fruit without needing a name or a platform. Mama Chari lived well.

It's been 4 years since she passed but her legacy still speaks to those who witnessed the gracious life she lived.

Writing this, I reminisced and thought, like Mama, God will summon me on a day I least expect.

The day, time or circumstances? I know not.

Whether in a cozy chamber surrounded by family, on a hot tarmac road covered in blood, destitute in a hinterland as a missionary, wearied by disease on a hospital bed...in the best or worst conditions, I cannot exactly choose. But whatever happens, I want to leave this world, standing in God's perfect will.

Many believers long for heaven, yet naturally shrink from death itself. Unless by rapture, I ask, how will you do it?

Death for us is not the end, but the beginning of a better life. It is only a passageway from time to eternity. When we die, we will be more alive in the presence of Jesus than we have ever been.

Live for Jesus every day as though it were your last. Love deeply. Serve faithfully. Spend and be spent, for the gospel's sake. Stop at nothing, in the pursuit of God and the kingdom.

We may never choose how or when we die. But we can choose to die in the Lord.

"...Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!"

- Numbers 23:10.

.

With love,

Haske.

I was raised by parents who truly loved me.

Even as I write this, I can confidently say that my father believes in me more than anyone else - sometimes even more than I believe in myself. And my mother? Oh, she absolutely adores me.

Growing up, however, I was not exactly the most careful child, as Nigerians would call it, a gragra.

I broke things. Plates, cups, pots, trays, shoes, torches, door handles - if it was fragile enough to break, chances were I had broken one before, especially kitchen utensils.

And every time I "manifested" my usual self, I sought their forgiveness, sometimes through tears.

They always forgave me, though forgiveness occasionally came with consequences.

As I gradually outgrew that habit, I began to notice a pattern. It usually went something like this:

I had just broken a plate while doing the dishes. My mother found out and reprimanded me. I felt genuinely sorry and pleaded for forgiveness. She would forgive me, then say something like,

"That's exactly what you said the last time you broke the kettle's handle. Anyway, it's fine... I just hope you don't do it again."

Whenever that happened, I quietly wondered, If I've been forgiven, why keep bringing up what I did before?

As time passed, I realized it was simply a common human tendency.

We hold on to pieces of the past.

Little wonder people often say, "I can forgive, but I cannot forget."

Sometimes, we unconsciously project that same human pattern onto God.

I gave my life to Christ in April 2016, but I wasn't fully convinced of my salvation until August of that same year.

Four months. A whole four months. Why?

Was my justification still in process?

Was heaven experiencing a glitch in delivering my salvation?

Was the Holy Spirit still deciding whether to grant me His witness?

No.

I simply struggled to believe that God had truly taken away my sin after I prayed a simple prayer on what seemed like an ordinary day in an ordinary classroom, especially after all the terrible things I had done.

It all seemed too simple to be true.

Sadly, many professing Christians still struggle to embrace this gift of God's grace.

This is especially true for believers whose lives before Christ were marked by deep and obvious sin: drug or substance addiction, sexual immorality, crime, or anything else that falls within what we would call a "rough" past.

Though they have genuinely trusted in Christ, they still find it difficult to believe that God has completely forgiven them and no longer holds their sins against them.

You believe you are a child of God, yet somehow you never truly feel seen, loved or fathered by Him.

Your profession is theologically sound.

But your experience has not yet caught up with that reality.

There is a persistent heaviness you cannot explain. A quiet sense of uncertainty follows you.

A void lingers in your heart that nothing seems to fill, not even spiritual activities.

You identify with the privilege of being a Christian, yet your inner man remains wrapped in a cloak of shame.

During seasons of intense spiritual activity - prayer, Bible study, vigils, fasting, church services, retreats and outreaches, you feel alive.

Your soul seems full.

But when those moments pass and the noise fades, the old feelings quietly return.

Your sense of spiritual vitality has become tied to activity, and your confidence before God has become tied to performance.

Permit me to offer a diagnosis:

You are wrestling with guilt, shame and rejection.

These are among the oldest consequences of humanity's fall from grace.

The first man ran.

The first woman hid.

Together, they stitched fig leaves together in a desperate attempt to cover themselves.

Humanity has been trying to do the same ever since.

So even though God has forgiven you and reconciled you to Himself through Christ, the enemy of your soul seeks to keep you living as though none of that were true.

He delights in exploiting ignorance, unbelief and lingering condemnation. Even when your theology is sound, he seeks to cripple your experience, because he knows how easily our feelings can overshadow what God has said.

So hear me carefully.

Those accusations may feel real, but they are no longer God's verdict over your life.

The uncertainty.

The shame.

The guilt.

The fear.

They may still whisper to you, but they no longer define you.

The day you bowed before Christ in repentance and faith, God forgave you and cleansed you - fully, freely and finally.

As far as your standing before Him is concerned, your past is no longer held against you.

When the Father looks upon you, He sees the perfect righteousness of His Son credited to your account.

Beloved,

Your forgiveness is not progressive.

Your justification was not partial.

Jesus did not purchase you in instalments.

God redeemed the whole of you.

At once.

Not in bits.

Not in stages.

Right now, even now,

You are forgiven. You are loved. You are fully known. You are accepted in Christ.

This is the truth that breaks the exhausting cycle of performative Christianity.

There was nothing you could ever have done to satisfy God's righteous wrath against your sin.

Christ has already done it.

Why then spend your life trying to earn a love that has already been freely given through Him?

Take comfort in this:

Jesus laboured, and you have entered into His rest.

Leave the past where God has placed it.

It no longer determines your standing before Him.

Keep your eyes fixed ahead.

Do not keep staring behind you; your destination is not in that direction.

As liberating as this truth is, its reality does not usually dawn overnight.

It is born from deep conviction produced by the Scriptures and the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

So return to the Word.

Bury yourself in it until light breaks forth. Do not settle for fleeting emotional highs. Remain there until conviction is formed. Behold Christ until you believe.

Stay there until faith overcomes feelings and your hope rests firmly in God rather than in yourself.

Be encouraged.

I have stood where you now stand.

And if God brought me out, He will bring you out too.

Rest, beloved.

Rest.

Your past is forgiven, and it no longer has the final word over your life.

.

“And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.”

Luke 7:48.

.

With love,

Haske.

Cristiano Ronaldo has over one billion combined followers across his social media handles. But it'll interest you to know that more than half of these people do not know him personally.

Social media algorithms capture their presence but in reality, they are just in the numbers.

When I feel like doing any soccer fanbase shenanigan, I identify as a CR7 fan, which is why I used him as the introductory example to this letter...in my opinion, he's the GOAT in football tho (Messi fans chill, it's not that deep).

Some Christians are like the numbers in Ronaldo's or any other celebrity's fanbase. The algorithm of "Christianity is the world's largest religion with an estimated 2.3 billion believers" captures them because they go to church, bear Christian names, wear crosses, receive sacraments or are just on average, better than their neighbour who practices another religion.

But in real life, and by real life, I do not only mean the life we can see and feel, I mean the life that God judges and appraises, most of these people are not Christians.

Some have mastered the profession of the Christian faith by speaking Christianese, wearing emblems or simply identifying with a popular church or well-known minister.

Others are not bothered by the need to appear saintly so they proudly wear their tag of rebellion. You hear them say things like, "I know a Christian shouldn't do this but...", "I believe in Jesus but..." and all the other "buts".

So in the end, we have fans (those who are captured in the algorithm by their public profession of faith but deny it in their hearts) and followers (those who are part of the number in word and deed).

The difference between the introductory example and the context of this piece is that Ronaldo neither knows nor needs to know every fan personally. Jesus does. He calls His sheep by name.

As I make comparisons between these two groups, I urge you to examine your heart and be sincere with yourself in answering the questions that follow thereafter.

1. Fans know about Jesus, Followers know Jesus.

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: (John 10:27).

If I told you that I had an elder sister who's tall, dark and wears glasses, you'd know about her. But if you bumped into her at a mall someday, you'd most likely not know her.

Fans have heard or read about Jesus - his birth, life, ministry, death & resurrection, his promises, power and provision. They accept these things for some reasons: a religious background, fear of going to hell, the popularity of Christianity...whatever.

But in reality, they do not know Jesus. There's no witness of sonship in their hearts by the Holy Spirit. There is no enduring evidence of repentance or transformed living. They still live the way they've always lived. So long as they appear in church or partake in sacraments, take Sunday pictures and bear Christian names they're fine. These practices are good when they flow from genuine faith, but they cannot replace a living relationship with Christ. They are more concerned about maintaining a religious status quo than pleasing God.

Followers on the other hand, know Jesus. They have definite encounters of transformation with Him. His word shapes their lives and His Spirit works in them to produce good fruit. They are willing to please God at the expense of their own desires or other people's approval.

2. Fans love rewards, Followers love the rewarder.

"Jesus answered them and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye seek me, not because ye saw the miracles, but because ye did eat of the loaves, and were filled.

Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed. (John 6:26-27)"

Imagine a child who only complies with parental instructions because he expects the parents to buy toys and sweets, and another child who obeys them because he honours them. Who do you think the parents will naturally love more? Who do you think will grow into a better adult?

Fans pray only when they're in distress or have a pressing need. They have personal Bible studies only when they're to preach a sermon.

Followers pray in good and bad times, because they cherish fellowship with God. They study their Bibles because it's God's word and they cannot live without it.

One does it because something is promised, another does it because someone is pleased. When rewards are delayed or absent, fans leave: they stop going to church, reduce personal commitments, return to old habits. But because followers have anchored their faith in the rewarder, storms do not alarm them nor do challenges faze them; every trial draws them closer to Jesus because they have made him the center of their worship and not the things he gives.

3. Fans choose convenience, Followers carry crosses.

A cross-less Christianity is a counterfeit Christianity.

Cross-bearing is not a common theme of neo-Christianity. Everything is easy-peasy and God is like a genie who grants wishes regardless of the kind of lives we live.

But biblical Christianity is not so: "Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and TAKE UP HIS CROSS, and follow me. (Matthew 16:24)"

Fans want blessings without commitment. They desire God's presence but do not want to abandon their sins. They hope to get to heaven, but they never allow God's word to prune their lives. They want it soft, they want it easy.

Our redemption came at the cost of unimaginable suffering. Jesus bled, he sweated, he cried, he was stripped naked. How dare we think we could have it any different?

Followers bear the brunt of true Christianity. They get laughed at. They are sidelined. They're "he's doing too much." Sometimes they lose rights and benefits. But they remain joyful because it's a privilege to suffer for Christ.

4. Fans struggle, Followers surrender.

"Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.

But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions. (Matthew 19:21-22)".

Fans are like this rich young ruler. Jesus did not ask him to give up his wealth because poverty was a criterion for making heaven. He did because material possessions had become his idol. For him to freely follow the Lord, he needed to count the cost by destroying this idol.

Fans have idols that they're not willing to surrender. They argue when God speaks. They justify their weaknesses. They mask disobedience with human frailty.

Followers do not always find it easy to part from idols, but they're more willing to be made willing. Maybe not immediately but gradually, they always yield. They depend on God's grace to say yes even when it's hard. They do not consider anything too great to lose for the glory of Christ.

5. Fans carry God along, Followers let God lead.

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. (Romans 8:14)"

Fans make decisions, conclude plans and finalize ambitions before they call God to bless what they've started. They remember God when they're halfway through with their plans, forgetting that God only sponsors what he endorses. If it did not start with Him, it cannot continue in Him.

Followers acknowledge the Lordship of Jesus over their lives and ask for his guidance before venturing into anything. They ask his opinion on their finances, relationships, ministry, business, academic pursuits and so on. Especially in moments of vital decision-making, they would rather remain on a spot than go ahead without hearing God first. For them, God is not an afterthought. He is the Alpha and Omega.

These comparisons are a few out of countless differences that exist between,

Fans—those who merely identify with Christianity and Followers—those who truly belong to Christ.

Where do you fit in?

Which reality do you most resonate with?

Do you really know Jesus or do you just know about Him?

Do you love Jesus because of who he is or because of the things he gives?

Is your commitment to God dependent on your convenience or are you willing to go out of your way to please God?

Have you ever said "yes" to God even when a "no" was easier?

Does God lead you or do you only remember Him when you get stuck?

Remember, it is easy to identify with the Christian faith before men.

But before God, "...The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity. (2 Timothy 2:19)"

Who are you: a fan or a follower of Jesus?

.

With love,

Haske.

Let me help you. Imagine (or even experiment with this physically) that you have a bottle of water, and someone asks for a cup of grape juice. Although you have a generous heart, you cannot possibly grant their request because when you bend that bottle into a cup, the liquid that pours in will be water, not grape juice—unless, of course, you supernaturally recreate what Jesus did in John chapter 2.

This simple illustration holds for many other things.

You can only give what you have. You cannot reproduce something that you are not.

Jesus said, "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good..." (Luke 6:45).

What consistently flows out of a person is first cultivated within.

Today's letter is not a charge. Or an exposition. Or an exhortation.

It is a plea. It is an encouragement, that may sound a bit selfish (for lack of another word).

Today's message is simple:

Start choosing yourself too.

Not last. Not as an afterthought. Not as an addition.

But first. As a responsibility.

The Bible says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:23).

Before God entrusts your hands with many responsibilities, He first calls you to guard your heart.

No matter how well-trained an ass is, if you put it after a cart or plough, its efficiency will reduce. The cart becomes a hindrance and the ass is unable to run well.

You are like that ass.

Highly energetic. Well-groomed. Full of potential.

But if you come after;

After your friends.

After your church members.

After your wife.

After your children.

After your fans.

After your disciples.

After your mentees.

After your followers.

After your unit members.

After the cart- the cart of souls or responsibilities God entrusts you with.

You will be crushed under that weight, sooner or later.

Whatever you do in the remaining part of this year, ensure you carry yourself along - first. Do not be so occupied with other people's lives and destinies that you leave yours lacking.

This is not in any way an endorsement of the worldly "me, myself and I" mantra, but a call to wise, Spirit-controlled self-care.

Are there relationships to break? Is there someone who makes you feel empty after every interaction? Prune your gardens.

Is there a habit to outgrow? Are there sins to repent of? Do you need to make a confession? Examine your heart. Remove the foxes.

Do you need sometime away? What if you need to leave leadership for a while and get your soul healed?

Take that break. Go for that retreat. Catch your breath.

Do not be ashamed to say, "Please help me, my heart is growing cold."

Even Jesus often withdrew Himself into solitary places to pray (Luke 5:16). If the sinless Son of God made room for communion with the Father, none of us is too busy to do the same.

Refuse to merely survive while you help others live.

Fan their flames, but do not let your candle go out.

Remain connected to your Source. Because no matter how dynamic you are, if your pouring out (output) exceeds your being poured into (input) over a long period, you will burn out.

Do not get carried away serving like Martha that you forget to sit at Jesus' feet like Mary.

Paul charged Timothy, "Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them..." (1 Timothy 4:16). Notice that before he could faithfully care for others, he had to watch over himself.

Receive grace for balance: devotion, marriage, family, friendships, ministry, business...

Trust God for grace to put your cart together and fix it after your ass.

A healer himself must first be healthy. A teacher herself, well taught. A saviour, already saved.

Ensure you're not trying to save a generation from the same waters you're drowning in.

Take care of other people, but never leave yourself behind.

This truth is scriptural. And it is God's will for you to flourish while you labour over others.

"Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? thou that preachest a man should not steal, dost thou steal? Thou that sayest a man should not commit adultery, dost thou commit adultery? thou that abhorrest idols, dost thou commit sacrilege?"

- Romans 2:21–22.

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Until I write you again, may you have grace to prioritize the health of your own spiritual life.

.

With love,

Haske.

This is July, 2026 - six months of God's unbroken faithfulness. I think it is something to be grateful for. But if you're honest, gratitude may not come easily. Perhaps your vision board is still half-empty, your prayers seem unanswered, and your heart notices more delays than demonstrations of God's goodness.

Amidst the unfulfilled plans, unanswered prayers, miracle wait-lists, and unexpected interruptions are scattered heavy prints of God's grace toward you. If you take time to reminisce, you would find that God has been kind.

Maybe you think miracles are limited to the "grand" demonstrations of Divine power: lame walking, blind seeing, dumb talking, sudden financial breakthroughs, dead rising again…

And all the others.

But God's kindness is not measured only by extraordinary interventions. More often than not, His miracles are woven quietly into the ordinary rhythms of everyday life. We simply become too familiar with them to notice.

A bed that gives you rest.

A phone that goes both ends.

Air filling your lungs without your permission.

The sunrise that faithfully announces a new day.

The strength to rise from yesterday's disappointments.

Grace for one more day.

•

Eyes that still behold beauty.

Ears that still hear melodies and laughter.

Hands that can still serve.

Feet that still carry you.

•

The smile of a stranger.

A friend's unexpected phone call.

Forgiveness after failure.

Mercies that arrive before the morning alarm.

Another opportunity to begin again.

•

The gift of sleep.

Water that bathes your skin.

Clothes that cover your body.

The meals you didn't have to hunt for.

The rain that brings harvest and petrichor.

•

A Bible you can freely open.

The privilege of prayer.

The Holy Spirit's gentle conviction.

The peace that follows surrender.

The fellowship of people who love Jesus.

The hope of heaven.

You should thank God profusely even on the most ordinary days.

Because everything and everyone he has blessed you with is a privilege.

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

(1 Thessalonians 5:18)

You have something to thank God for. While you pine and worry over the things God has not done, you lose peace and gratitude over the ones he has done.

Look around, look within:

Your soul is saved.

Your heart is beating.

Your brain can think.

Your mind can understand.

There is at least one person on earth who loves you deeply.

That is a miracle.

Quit complaining. Stop murmuring. Today, be grateful for something you have - whether or not you can afford it.

And before you conclude that God has done nothing, take a closer look at the evidence. You'll discover what gratitude has always known: there is a miracle in every detail.

PS:

Take some time at the end of today to write down whatever you're grateful to God for... you'll either end up with a teary eye or a filled page.

.

With gratitude,

Haske.

Most midnights of my life have found my parents praying, sometimes separately but most times together. My father is above 70 and still kneels every day to pray for his children, in-laws and grandchildren; my mother practices the presence of God in a strategy I call, “prayie-walkie” (like a walkie-talkie sorta) where she always has prayers on her lips - doing chores, moving around the house, on the phone, in-between conversations and even when drifting to sleep. During morning devotion those days, my dad asked her to round off the prayers, and she would mention every child, in-law and grandchild without missing a single name, in what sounded like a song (I think she used to rehearse it or something cos it was too smooth).

I cannot begin to talk about the supplications of Christian leaders, mentors and friends over me, many of which are hidden. I am a product of praying parents. I am a fruit of intercessions.

But as great as these prayers are, I do not think they are sufficient.

What happens if my mother forgets to mention my name when praying? I mean, there are 31 people in my family, and the old woman is not omniscient. What happens when my pastor is too occupied with family and ministry to remember my prayer requests? My friends love me, but they have their lives and families to worry about.

No matter how loved you are by someone, they cannot pray for you without ceasing. I know your husband is a praying machine but he sleeps off sometimes, doesn’t he? Even if God gave you your own “Father Nash”, what happens when he dies?

There is only one person who loves you enough to pray for you unceasingly. He is Jesus.

How did you fall into sin but did not forsake the Lord? How did your feet slip and yet you did not fall? You grew weak but did not faint?

How did you run out of air but somehow did not lose your breath? Why did you make those mistakes now and not later? How were you broken but somehow not destroyed?

There is only one answer – Jesus is praying for you.

“But I have prayed for you, that your faith fail not: and when you are converted, strengthen, your brethren”

Luke 22:32.

The reason why life’s challenges hit you but do not shatter you,

The reason why besetting sin did not ruin you,

The reason your mistakes became lessons,

The reason your heart faints but your faith does not fail,

The reason why the things meant to break you, end up building you:

Jesus is praying for you.

On the days when:

You get too busy to pray,

You lose your balance,

You fall into sin,

Satan’s accusations against you have evidence,

You miss church intentionally – for no good reason,

affliction rises a second time,

You have a misunderstanding with your spouse and react unwisely,

Backsliding seems like a better option than abiding:

Jesus is praying for you.

His intercession is constant. His mouth does not get tired. His prayer is quick and alive.

And every prayer Jesus prays for you gets answered by the Father – because the Son of God cannot pray amiss.

You can rest in the prayer of Jesus for you. You can trust that Satan cannot overcome you. You can believe that the flesh will not ruin you.

You can accept that whatever happens or does not happen, in the end, you will win.

Not because you prayed the most, blasted the loudest tongues, fasted the longest, or obeyed the greatest,

But because Jesus was praying for you –

From the day you received salvation, till the day you awoke in translation.

Let this understanding give you rest.

So that you don’t worry when you should worship, panic when you should pray, backslide when you should abide;

So that you do not stake the practice of your Christian faith on what you can do but on what Jesus has done and continues to do.

You will fulfill destiny.

You will overcome that sin.

You will marry well.

Your child will come back.

Your home will not break.

Your ministry will flourish.

Your story will end in praise.

Satan will not see your end.

Because Jesus is praying for you.

Sometimes his intercession will grant your requests immediate answers,

Other times it will provide you with grace for waiting,

Sometimes his intercession will bring you to the limelight,

Other times they will preserve you in obscurity…

But his intercession will never take you outside the will of God.

So, beloved, rest.

Jesus is praying for you.

The temptations that make others drift will confirm you,

The storms that drown others will teach you to swim,

The lack that makes others beg will bring you abundance,

The interruptions that end others will give you a detour;

There is nothing that happens in the believer’s life that can overpower the potency of Jesus’ intercession.

“Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.”

Hebrews 7:25.

May you have faith to believe in the intercession of Jesus for you, and the grace to thrive in the possibilities his prayers afford.

.

With love,

Haske.

Few events in Christian history illustrate the devastating effects of division more clearly than the Great Schism of 1054. For centuries, the Church had stood as one body despite cultural, linguistic, and political differences between the Christian East and West. However, tensions gradually grew over questions of authority, doctrine, and tradition. The Western Church, centered in Rome, increasingly emphasized the authority of the Pope, while the Eastern Church maintained a model of shared leadership among bishops. Disputes over theological expressions, ecclesiastical practices, and political rivalries further widened the gap.

The breaking point came in 1054 when representatives of the Pope and the Patriarch of Constantinople exchanged mutual excommunications. What may have appeared to some as a disagreement between leaders became one of the most significant fractures in the history of Christianity. The once-united Church formally split into what became known as the Roman Catholic Church in the West and the Eastern Orthodox Church in the East.

The consequences were profound and far-reaching. Christian unity was shattered, and mistrust between the two branches deepened over the centuries. Opportunities for cooperation in mission, ministry, and mutual defense were weakened. The division also contributed to political instability and, in some instances, fueled hostility between fellow believers. Perhaps most tragically, the world witnessed Christians who professed the same Lord becoming separated by walls of suspicion and disagreement.

Apostle Paul, speaking to the Corinthian church marvelled at the discord that existed amongst them due to “tags”, rebuked them in love, and emphasized the centrality of Christ as Lord of the Church.

The trend in the Corinthian church hasn’t changed in our times.

It used to be “I am of Paul” or “I am of Apollos” or “I am of Cephas”.

Now, it is:

I am Reformed.

I am Catholic.

I am Pentecostal.

I am Baptist.

I am Adventist.

I am the son of Pastor XYZ,

I am the daughter of Papa PQR...

Much allegiance. Many claims. Still, little to no fruit, a chunk of the church still bearing semblance with the world.

Every sect considers itself better than others.

Reformed say the Pentecostals do not understand God’s sovereignty and are exploitative of spiritual gifts. Catholics say Protestants defy the sacraments and are thus not truly saved.

While I am bothered by the schisms these tags cause, the focus of today’s letter is on their irrelevance.

Who cares if you are an Adventist? Will God hear your prayer because you are evangelical? Does the Holy Spirit help you more because you are Pentecostal? Will you be part of the final resurrection because you identified as reformed?

Of what use are the labels if they only stir divisions among us?

“For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision, but a new creature.”

(Galatians 6:15)

Rather than fighting ourselves on social media, dishonoring ourselves in real life and creating walls of partition in the spirit,

Why not focus on the weightier matter?

To be saved by faith in Jesus Christ and live as a CHRISTIAN.

Jesus didn’t spill his blood to ransom a glorious Evangelical Church. The Holy Ghost was not sent as the comforter for the Pentecostal church. The sacraments were not ordained for the Catholic Church.

The entirety of the Bible, with emphasis on the teaching and practice of the New Testament in doctrine and faith, is given for the Church.

It’s high time we quit labels and became radioactive - emitting the radiations of the Zoe life to the unbelieving, to the end that they might be saved, and releasing toxic power against the enemies of the gospel as we march in our ranks against the hordes of Hell.

Jesus did not suffer that much, only for the redeemed ones to spend a lifetime taking sides when they should have been taking over.

We may disagree on a few things. But we must agree on one thing - knowing God and making him known.

Regardless of our stances, the Bible must form our core, God being true but every man a liar.

Reformed brother, do not attend lectures this week relating with your Pentecostal brother as tho he is inferior.

Catholic sister, do not see your Evangelical sister in the office this week as an infidel.

Baptist, be more Christlike in your banter with Adventist brethren on social media this week.

We should set our differences aside, and focus on becoming more like Jesus while wearing out our lives on the field of souls.

Lest the enemy take advantage of our schisms and make us fail of the grace of God;

Remember, “For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. (James 3:16).”

.

Let us leave labels for Versace and Louis Vuitton.

And become radioactive vessels in the hands of the Living God, turning many to righteousness.

Blessings!

.

With love,

Haske.

“Verse:

Almighty God, the great I am,

Immovable rock omnipotent powerful

Awesome lord,

Victorious warrior, commanding king of kings

Mighty conqueror, and the only time...

The only time I ever saw him run

Was when,

Refrain:

He ran to me

He took me in his arms

Held my head to his chest

Said My son's come home again

Lifted my face

Wiped the tears from my eyes

With forgiveness in his voice he said

Son, do you know I still love you?

He caught me by surprise when God ran

Verse:

The day I left home, I knew I'd broken his heart.

And I wondered then if things could ever be the same. Then one night, I remembered his love for me

And down that dusty road ahead I could see,

It was the only time...

It was the only time I ever saw him run

And then..."

(Song, "When God Ran" by Phillips, Craig and Dean).

.

Many biblical scholars and historians note that in the culture of first-century Judea, an older, respectable Jewish patriarch would not normally run in public.

Running required a man to lift his long robes, exposing part of his legs, which was generally considered undignified for an elder of status.

Wealthy landowners and family patriarchs were expected to walk with composure and dignity. Public running was more associated with children, servants, messengers, soldiers, or people in urgent situations.

Men don't run.

But God ran.

He ran when he chose a virgin to carry a shameful pregnancy.

He ran when he made the second person in the Trinity become the son of an ordinary carpenter.

He ran when he turned his face away from his own son sweating blood in a cold garden at night, and dying naked on a rugged cross the following day.

God has done the most condescending things to bring you back to himself.

Ever since you left home, He's been waiting for you to return.

Each day, he looks on the road, hoping just to see your shadow.

Why have you decided to remain in a wasteland?

Why have you chosen cucumber and garlic over milk and honey?

Are the dainties of Babylon now better than the treasures of Zion?

Jesus was once your exceeding great reward.

You used to feed sumptuously at the Father's table.

You wore the best robes. And bore the finest rings.

But now, I hear that pigs give you leftovers?

Son, come back.

Daughter, return.

The Father is slow to anger and plenteous in redemption.

He will not give you what you deserve;

For punishment, he'll give mercy.

For scolding, he'll give an embrace.

For ostracization, he'll throw a welcome party.

He will restore your privileges in full - nothing missing, nothing broken.

God is patient but you don't have forever to amend. Judgement is coming. And although you are a son, you'll be consumed because there is no coverage for sons who leave the family house.

You don't have to get it all figured out:

"Where do I start?"

"What do I say?"

"How do I recover?"

"I have become a shadow of myself, will things ever be the way they once were?"

"What if I lose this job...?"

"Other Christians will point fingers..."

"My friends will mock me..."

"What if I have to start over from scratch?"

Right there where you are, just turn. Before you take a few steps, you'll be in the Father's arms. He'll clear your doubts and drown your fears in his perfect love.

God too delicately loves you to end up like this.

Please, come back home.

Your space in the Father's house is still vacant, waiting for you to occupy it.

I pray that God prevails upon your unwillingness and tampers with the texture of your heart. May the grip of the Father's love be stronger than the hold of sin over you. I pray you find grace to return, in Jesus' name. Amen.

.

PS: If you feel stuck and don't know what to do, check out the gospel according to Saint Luke chapter 15. Or, you can send me an email.

.

With love,

Haske.

I had a reading childhood, thanks to Deeper Life Bible Church for their emphasis on literature (tracts, Women Mirror, Life magazine, Youth Life, Higher Everyday and so on), my widely read Dad (and some other siblings) and my dear elder sister, Deborah - who got me most of the books I read through childhood.

Amongst the many things I read in those years, there is one image that has lingered. I cannot exactly remember where or when I first saw it but all I remember is that it was a painting of Jesus and the believer walking down a dusty road - the Christian had his Bible in his hand, and Jesus walked beside him in a white robe and brown sandals. At the end of the dusty road was a bright city with many beautiful flowers and sparkling precious stones.

...I did not mean to add this at first, but imagine that painting now, with the song "It's not an easy road, we're travelling to heaven..." playing in the background of your mind...

(Oh, how nostalgic I feel now).

Why am I giving this backstory?

Because it is the inspiration behind this letter.

Thank God for the church. Thank God for the gathering of people who believe the Bible. Thank God for a family whose ties transcend DNA into the spotless blood of God's beloved Son. Glory to God!

But as communal as Christianity is,

At the core, it is largely an individual experience.

This is why,

salvation is a personalized encounter. Whenever you visit Calvary, it is never crowded. Multitudes find rest at the feet of the Cross, but only one man kneels at a time.

The heavenly race is personal.

Brethren will help. Pastors will provide shepherding. Disciplers will guide. But most of the journey is individual.

And because it is personal, it can get lonely sometimes.

Some roads will be so quiet, you'd hear your own heart sounds.

Some paths so lonely, you'd see only a pair of footprints.

Some days so weary, you almost lose your breath.

…

It could be the bereavement road:

When a loved one has passed, and grief bears more weight than grace. And your most colourful days are grey.

.

It could be the poverty road:

When the leanness of your purse could pass for a presentation of anorexia, and for means, you very nearly sell your birthright.

.

It could be the infirmity road:

When medical science has failed, and the healer seems to be out of town. When pain eats so deep, death looks like paradise.

.

It could be the chastisement road:

When you've sinned and the Father uses the rod on you. When God's love seems withdrawn and his wrath is unleashed.

.

It could be the delay road:

When the waiting season has expired but the 'receptionist' still says it isn't your turn; when the promised blessing takes forever to arrive.

.

It could be the "nameless" road:

When the pieces of life's puzzles aren't just coming together. When even you, do not know what you're going through.

.

It could be any road.

One thing is sure, every believer goes this road at some point. The world around you bustles on in endless excitement. But for you, time seems to stop and life spirals in a motionless circle.

Another thing is surer, Jesus walks this road with every believer. Whether the consequences of your choices put you there or you get your share of life's circumstances. Jesus chooses to walk with you regardless of the reason.

Why God takes us through this road differs.

But mostly, it is because this is where He gets our greatest attention.

In the silence of this road, we hear the loudest echoes of His love.

Other voices recede, and His word is quickened in our hearts.

We are most vulnerable and His balm reaches our deepest soul wounds - some of which we never knew we had.

Our devotion is tried and we are rid of subtle idolatry.

We begin to desire God for who he is and not just what He gives.

Believe me when I say, it is easier to write or read about this phase of the Christian walk than it is to experience it.

I have had a little yet not insignificant share of it.

I have interacted with people who have walked here.

And everywhere, the experience is common - it is a quiet road.

But I must tell you,

Only Jesus knows this road: the peculiar bends, turns and bumps.

Trust Him alone to guide you through this path.

Because although we have a common salvation, every believer's encounter on this road is customized.

There are no two Christians with the exact, same walk with God.

If you try to use someone else's shoelaces for your shoes, they may not fit.

So, lean on Jesus - the Author and Finisher of your Faith to lead you on. His hands will deal tenderly with you. And His voice will be all the comfort you need.

Sometimes, He'll send men your way:

A timely phone call,

A timely message,

A timely newsletter,

A timely sermon,

A timely hug,

A timely handshake,

A timely gesture of love;

All speaking, "a word in season to him that is weary".

And as I close off, let me encourage you:

At the end of this road, you will meet an eternally significant reward -

Outpouring of greater anointing for greater exploits.

Fruits of a Christlike temper. More grace and glory.

Eventually,

The trend of compromise stops.

The cycle of besetting sin ends.

The contract gets signed.

The spouse comes along.

The gigs come in.

Your body is healed.

Your marriage is mended.

Your home is restored.

The erring child returns.

The grief goes away, your heart is comforted.

The hope of heaven becomes your greatest compensation;

And Jesus becomes your exceeding great reward.

For you, this "Quiet Roads" season may last some weeks.

Or maybe a year. Oh, maybe a decade. Ah, what if, a lifetime?!

Long or short,

May you have grace to endure hardness when it comes.

And if you ever wonder why there's only a pair of footprints at some point on this dusty road,

Remember that Jesus has carried you in his arms.

He does the walking, you do the trusting.

You will not run out of breath. Your relish for God is preserved. And your hope remains alive.

Strength, beloved, strength.

For your God does go before you.

"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. (Isaiah 43:2)"

.

PS:

When you go through "quiet roads" seasons, do much journaling. Someday, you'll look at those scribblings and be reminded of God's faithfulness. Also, write the vision, because someday, it will help others run.

.

With love,

Haske.

"Remember Lot's wife" is not the only lesson from that story.

Being born and bred in Deeper Life Bible Church gave me access to a wealth of Christian literature, especially during my formative years.

One such wonderful piece of literature is the “Search the Scriptures” booklet which we commonly call, STS. It is the booklet we use for our weekly Sunday school classes.

Back then in the children’s church, our booklets had pictures, drawings and sometimes interesting illustrations which made it more captivating for children to read or listen to their teachers read. I never really knew the worth of this STS booklet until sometime later in early adulthood.

It dawned on me for the first time, that most topics in this book were based on factual (or figurative, in terms of parables) biblical events and the instructive lessons that modern-day believers could learn and apply.

I have learned that the STS booklet is a connection between events we did not see and experiences we still share.

In today’s letter, I will be doing something similar to what the STS does;

Some thousands of years ago, in the early to middle Bronze Age (as historians and scholars assert), there lived two men - an uncle and his nephew, Abraham and Lot.

Abraham was wealthy, and I mean, freaking wealthy. He received instructions from God to leave his hometown for another place which he (God) would subsequently disclose. In his generosity (or maybe, responsibility) he allowed Lot to come along.

This duo headed to a place they had never seen or heard about. In their sojourn, they took breaks along the way. On one of such rests, their servants and herdmen had a rift. It was so terrible that the solution was to separate.

The uncle, being a humble man let his nephew choose first. And yes, he chose the place more pleasant to the eyes. Choices made, separation came.

In the passing of time, trouble arose and the nephew was implicated. His uncle, being a patriarch made a pact with God and a way of escape was promised.

On the day of escape, God sent angels - yes, real angels. They helped Lot & his family get out of the situation and told him to run to the mountains, far enough from trouble.

But (here comes the gist), he refused. Why? He claimed that something dangerous would happen to him in the mountains.

Yes, I know it sounds unreal that a mortal man would argue with angels.

(I’s also surprised at his audacity.)

But yes, angels are cool people, so they let him.

The story of this nephew only got sour after this point. Want to know how sour? His wife became salt (yes, she actually melted away in sulphuric heat); his daughters made him drunk, slept with him and made babies for him...

What could be a sadder end for a man?

I know that by now, you would have several things to say:

How foolish of him! Why did he leave his uncle in the first place? He could have just obeyed the angels!

But hey, before you raise your voice, don’t you think that you and this nephew may have some things in common?

How often does God give you instructions - clear, unmistakable guidance, but you chose to do otherwise?

…

“Stop going out with that guy & receiving his gifts. You’re stringing emotions with someone that’s not meant for you. By the time you want to walk away, emotions may have blinded your discernment.”

“Oh, Lord. Don’t you worry, it’s nothing serious. We don’t have deep conversations like that. We’re just friends, nothing more.”

.

“You’re too passive in this new office. You stay on the fence when controversial matters are raised. Take your stand now and declare your convictions early so that people know what you live for.”

“Ah, God. Please, I don’t want it to look like I’m doing too much. Let me just take things slowly and I’m sure everything will be fine.”

.

“You shouldn’t marry that girl. She’s everything but a Christian. Her values would collide against yours in marriage.”

“Father, please just show me mercy. You know she’s quite a good girl and I’m sure that in marriage, with biblical husbandhood I’ll be able to convince her to truly follow Jesus. Conviction cannot be that hard, right? Show me mercy, Lord.”

...

How many times did God say stop but you chose to slow down?

How many times did He say wait but you kept going?

Has God ever said “Keep still, be silent” but you kept talking?

How often does He give instructions that you tweak to suit your weaknesses?

Aren’t the angels saying, “Flee into the mountains!” But you’re pleading, “Let me go to this small town instead, because...”

Sometimes you pray with tears but they are not tears of penitence or vexation of spirit. They are manipulative expressions of a heart that is set to do only what it wants.

Sometimes we deceive ourselves with “I’m still praying” or “I’m still waiting on God.” When in reality, we’re delaying obedience.

Prayer is indispensable, fasting is important but they are not substitutes for obedience.

God’s instructions are not to be negotiated. His word should not be weighed.

In the meantime, it may not make sense. But is God’s word always supposed to make sense to us?

Every time you choose to do something similar to what God said, or you take action long after He spoke, remember that obedience is not obedience unless it is complete and prompt.

Zoar may be a small city but because God’s instruction was not to go there, you will lack his preservation there. The mountains may seem scary but because God led you there, his grace will cover you.

When God speaks, what he says is perfect - tried, tested, proven and sure. He knows the end from the beginning, and he will never lead you to your fall.

If God is leading you to the mountains, best believe that he’s going to shield you from whatever danger there may be.

Refuse to sabotage your destiny by choosing the path of least resistance.

And if you ever come to a point where it becomes hard to obey God, don’t be afraid of showing your vulnerability.

Tell him how hard it is. Tell him how scared you are. Tell him how unsure you feel.

He will not be angry at you, nor will he be disappointed at your humanity. God loves sincere people.

And in the process, you will find that He will: speak even more reassuringly, send men to help you, strengthen your heart, sustain your courage...do everything necessary to help you until that task is done.

God mobilizes resources to help believers who say, “Lord it’s hard but I am willing to be made willing”.

But he withdraws his presence from those who say, “Lord, this is impossible therefore I will not do it”.

You choose.

I will write to you again.

Until then, may you have the grace not to flee or stop fleeing to Zoar.

.

(PS: See Genesis chapter 19 for the account of this story).

With love,

Haske.

If you knew your worth, you wouldn't worry.

The Gospel according to Saint Matthew chapter 6 verse 30 says that God clothes the grass of the field.

When you read scriptures, apart from seeking rhema, I encourage you to also consider the gravity of language used, in the most literal sense.

Usually, I let my mind imagine some details of scripture as "raw" as it can be.

Now, look at it this way:

Donald Trump develops interest in the Amazon rainforest. And while people are becoming skeptical with "aha! He's prolly found oil there", he travels with a presidential escort to Brazil, is driven down to the Amazon and upon arrival, asks for a watering can.

"Why, Mr. President? We can send for a gardener from the Palácio da Alvorada to do that...in fact why the gardener? We have an irrigator machine nearby!" his secretary asks in confused shock.

"Pete, just get me the can...", the president insists with slight irritation.

And, the can he got. Right there, he waters the grass, sweating under the sun and smiling with boyish joy while at it.

Two weeks later, he's still there. Just watering grass and feeling good.

Does that make sense to you?

It doesn't to me.

I mean, if Donald Trump saw this letter, he may even get offended that I used him to make such a demeaning example.

As rude and unimaginable as that sounds, it is exactly how God cares for ordinary grasses.

He clothes grasses,

He decorates lilies so beautifully, King Solomon would get jealous.

Scripture is replete with the fact that God cares for all his creations - flora and fauna, excluding none.

Recently, I caught something while meditating on the love of God.

Here goes:

God cares for all his creations, but in varying degrees.

In ascending order,

Level 1 - He cares for plants, animals, mountains, water bodies and every other form of non-human life.

Level 2 - He cares for every human being, regardless of race, colour, educational qualifications, social status, religion or family background.

Level 3 - He cares for the church.

Let me put it this way, God cares for every human being equally but he cares for the church especially.

I heard you asking, why?

Because he owns the church twice - first, by creation and then, by redemption.

Also, because for the church, he stooped twice.

This is what I mean by stoop: I imagine (like I usually do when considering scriptures) that when God was to create man, he stooped. He spoke every other creature into existence but for man, he got his hands dirty by moulding clay.

The sovereign God stooped to make man.

Then, man fell by sin.

And instead of discarding man into eternal doom, He brought salvation through Jesus.

Who is Jesus? The Son of God who became the Son of man to make men sons of God.

Divinity stooped into humanity for the salvation of mankind.

Since everyone who believes in Jesus is part of the church, the church is then the people for whom God stooped twice.

You don't stoop for something you do not love.

You don't stoop for someone you do not really care about.

Stooping is a sign of condescension, respect or honour.

Christian,

God owns you twice. God stooped twice for you.

Now, I ask you,

Why do you think so lowly of yourself?

No, not that lowliness of Christlike humility.

I'm talking about that scrawny, raggedy, hungry-looking lowliness.

The one that thinks it would never amount to anything significant.

The one that says because you are not a nepo kid, you will never have the connections needed to make a good living.

The one that concludes that being born in a third-world country amounts to being disadvantaged for life.

Oh, yes. Somebody has said to me before, that if you're born in Nigeria, life has scored you 2-0 on arrival.

(Not me sha. I don win already.)

The one that says "Since you're not the prettiest, handsomest, most articulate or most educated, you'd never stand a chance against the world".

Why have you allowed social class, cultural schism, racial bias, religious differences and all the other junk of worldly wisdom to influence how you think of yourself?

Child of God,

Do you know who your Father is?

Do you know that the Triune God meet to deliberate the plans for your life and destiny?

Have you ever acknowledged the privilege of belonging to Christ?

The patriarchs longed to see the grace you now stand in.

Angels marvel at the redemption you freely sing about.

And Jesus said of the church you belong to that even the gates of hell cannot prevail against it.

Do you realize that a host of angels are always around you? And for context, that one angel can kill 185,000 armed soldiers? (See 2 Kings 19:35)

Do you know that nothing happens in your life by accident?

Do you know?

(Gosh! I could scream...I actually sobbed, when God told me these things).

You are not your family background.

You are not your country's economy.

You are not your academic qualifications.

You are not your bank account balance.

You are not your weaknesses.

You are a child of God.

Saved, washed and justified.

God cares for your spirit, soul and body.

No component of your tripartite nature is considered insignificant by God.

He is concerned by that struggle with sin.

He is touched by the depression you feel.

He is moved by the pain you carry.

No, he is not bothered with care.

He is lovingly invested in bringing you out of every troubled situation for his glory.

You are not too much for God.

He will provide for your body,

He will bring you out of that cycle,

He will meet your needs,

He will answer your prayers, maybe not exactly the way you want, but surely, with answers that'll bring him glory.

Cheer up, beloved.

God will take care of you.

If God gave Jesus for your ransom, what will he ever withhold for the perfecting of your life in this world and the one to come?

You worry too much for someone that Jesus died for.

.

Until I write you again, I hope you come to understand that God has favourites - and you are one.

"But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows." (Luke 12:7)

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With love,

Haske.

I genuinely hope that the title of today’s letter does not make certain of my dear fellow Nigerians question their ethnicity. This is not to shade you, great people of Okrika, Rivers state, Nigeria, Ibale? Daam, I greet you.

If you are conversant with the Nigerian market space, especially clothing and fashion, you should be familiar with Okrika.

Okrika is simply a local term used in describing fairly used clothes. Although a more civilized part of the market now calls it, thrift. But if you’re a real Nigerian you know that thrift is just ironed and packaged okrika. Abi or abin’t?

The season of my Christian life in which I began writing this letter was one where I ardently pursued soul healing after God shone his light on parts of my life that were crooked because my soul was wounded. I got a devotional centered around the healing I sought, and was excited because I felt I was going to find secrets I had never known before. But to my surprise, God wasn’t saying anything new; rather, he was emphasizing something I knew already but had never really understood.

Having read through the devotional one evening, I sat in meditation with my Bible, and these words dropped in my heart:

“You are not a second-hand product”.

That one statement brought so much peace to my heart and a revelation that helped improve my walk with God at the time, and has sustained the pace of my healing and overall spiritual growth.

“The new creation” is one of the greatest themes of the new testament but is one that many Christians do not fully understand, and consequently do not appropriate all the possibilities provided by God through this marvelous reality.

When man fell in the garden of Eden, the spirit, soul and body of humanity permanently lost its original nature made by God. Man was affected in a way so terrible that no word or expression can ever describe. But in simple terms, man was corrupted.

Now, corruption sounds like a social problem in civic education until you see it from God’s perspective;

Corruption is an irreversible damage.

Nothing can fix it. Nothing can change it. Nothing can manage it. The only solution is a total destruction of the corrupted entity and the creation of a new entity.

This recreation is what happens when a person believes in Jesus. The work of regeneration occurring in a man’s spirit at the point of salvation affects him at a level that no other thing or person ever can. It is like demolishing a house, sweeping away all the debris of the demolished structure and erecting a new house.

I could try but the truth is, there is no vocabulary strong enough to describe the transformation that happens at the encounter of salvation.

There is a new spirit.

There is a new heart.

There is a law.

There is a new power.

The man before the encounter looks nothing like the man after the encounter.

Although the man may not feel it;

And the entirety of this man’s life (by this I mean his thoughts, habits, language, association, desires and so on) may not immediately seem to have changed in that instant. But he is new man.

The progressive appropriation of this initial indescribable, eternally significant encounter is where some Christians have a hard time.

You know that you are born again.

Somehow, someday, somewhere, you raised your hand in a revival crusade, or said the sinner’s prayer during family devotion, or wept profusely after watching Passion of the Christ, or woke from a terrible dream about hell and fell on your knees…for some reason, you once made a conscious decision to believe in the Lordship of Jesus and confess Him as Saviour and Lord.

You know.

But your knowing is flawed, because your feelings or current struggle do not seem to agree with the new creation reality.

You dated that guy and sent sultry photos of yourself to spice up your relationship.

You’ve slept with many girls to prove the worthiness of your “manhood”.

You lost your prime to smoking all kinds of pot and sniffing anything that gets high.

You brought so much pain and cracked many relationships by your rebellion and other unloving behaviours.

You never knew what “childlike innocence” meant because an abusive parent, relative or neighbor took it from you before you could even spell your name.

None of these may have been your reality but somehow, you still don’t feel so new.

Maybe it was after that breakup.

Maybe it was after you came out of prison.

Maybe it was after you left home.

Maybe it was after the one you trusted most exposed all your secrets.

You wear a happy face because Christians are supposed to exude the joy of the Lord around but deep within, you feel sad or maybe, just not really joyful.

It feels like there isn’t anything particularly special about you.

Everyone else has a certain glow or spark but you –

You’re just another element in the universe.

I want to tell you,

We have the same story.

I have been in that room before,

In fact, I lived there.

I sang in church but I struggled, hoping to earn God’s love.

I dressed well but I always felt naked.

I dodged some people and places because they held memories of when or how I lost a part of myself.

I loved night because it was dark – I could hide somewhere and float away in fantasies.

And yes, I was already born again at this time.

So, why?

Because a regenerated spirit can be “caught” in a wounded soul and a sick body.

The spirit has been converted. But some scars have not disappeared. And some memories still linger.

You see, if you are already converted, you are a new creature in Christ.

This means you are a new person. There is nothing “old” about you anymore.

But your soul – the seat of emotions, intellect and reason may not quite agree at an instant.

That’s why you still feel dirty.

You go back & forth with that ex.

You get high when life gets you on edge.

Your stomach knots when you see that betrayer.

It’s time for you to make your soul aware – things are not the same anymore.

Jesus did not repair you.

He did not try to fix you.

He did not renovate you.

He recreated you.

And nothing or nobody, not even the devil can do anything to reverse what Jesus has done.

You are no longer your trauma.

You are not your mistakes.

You are not your background.

You are not your past.

YOU ARE NEW.

You are a child of God.

You are the trophy of Christ’s victory.

You are the Lord’s portion.

You are His fruitful field.

There is absolutely nothing second-hand about you.

So, get up from the dust.

Pick up your Bible.

And see the new description on the tag heaven now places on you.

Read it often. Believe it strongly. Confess it loudly.

You may not feel different immediately, but keep at it.

Eventually, your soul will catch up with the newness of your spirit.

And your reality will change forever;

Your habits will change. Your thoughts will change. Your desires will change. Those memories? They’ll hold no water anymore.

Then gradually, but surely, your heart will long for Jesus above anything else; making you more Christlike by the day.

Heads up,

Your history is not your destiny.

And if God does not remove those scars, trust that they will be useful in His testimony of you someday.

Keep going, this is not your end.

God is just starting out with you.

And if ever the accuser whispers the same old lies to you again,

Remember that Jesus bought you with his blood. Then say,

“I am not a second-hand product”

…and ensure you do that with an attitude.

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With love,

Haske.