A year on, I am not sure that I can say it gets any easier. I keep finding the glitter everywhere, in a strangers mannerisms to a hydrangea in a flower shop. Those first six months I spent desperately vacuuming, afraid of what would happen if I allowed myself to feel the detrimental loss of your presence.

Until I realised that the glitter is what keeps you close, a constant reminder of the love I have for you. Those reminders mean everything to me.

I crave the feeling I get when I read a book you would’ve loved, or listen to Take That. These reminders make me realise that this love does have somewhere to go, to my memories of you.

They feel like one of your warm hugs.

They say everything happens for a reason, but a much as I try, I can’t seem to find a reason why your time on this earth had to be cut short. I cry for the life you lived, and the one you didn’t. Desperately craving sleep in the hopes I can see you in my dreams.

It feels chilling that three hundred and sixty-five days have passed without you present, here on this earth. Even more chilling, that I have a lifetime to go. Because the more time that passes with you not here, is a growing reminder of all you will be missed from. Christmases, graduations, weddings, births.

And each day I miss you just that little bit more. But I never want to miss you more than I remember you. So I keep you alive in my mind, and the mind of anyone who will listen. As painful as it may be.

But as long as this pain persists, I will endure it because it means that you were here and that is what matters. I would embrace the pain in every moment, of every lifetime for the simple souvenir of your all-encompassing and ceaseless love.

Grief is perhaps the last and final translation of love. And I have the honour of translating this last act of love for the rest of my life.

Change feels again possible after a long summer of contented comfort. Soft-eyed September brings a gentle pull, not to hurry us into productivity but to remind us of our true potential. One unlocked by the crisp silky skies and the golden afternoons.

With four months left of the year, there is an intimacy in choosing to lock down habits and routines that will prove your commitment to future you is greater than your attachment to past you.

It’s the blossoming belief in yourself that soars like the birds migrating for the winter. The joy in your undoubting assumption of your dedication to yourself and your life. Creating space for new beginnings to take over old cycles, because nothing changes if nothing changes.

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September is a permutation portal.

And your only competition is your potential.

Shape your days to best allow you to reach the goals you have set of the rest of the year. Wake up early, take time for yourself, listen to your mind & soul, do things that make you happy.

Becoming takes time, you are not behind.

You must expect good things and positivity to meet you everywhere. And if you overthink, overthink endless blessings and the best possible outcomes. Because your mind shapes your reality and “What we think we become” - Buddha.

So take September first as the day you decide you deserve better, this is where becoming the best version of you begins. In a deep routed faith in yourself and your potential.

You owe it to yourself to become everything you have ever dreamed of becoming.

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Without further ado, in no particular order…

1. Aveeno Skin Relief Body Oil Spray (€20)

Potentially my favourite skincare purchase I have ever made. Not only does it instantly nourish my skin, it creates this ‘I’ve been sunbathing all day and just got ready for dinner’ glow. As someone who hates feeling sticky or greasy, I love that it feels so lovely to wear. I will be repurchasing the s e c o n d my bottle runs out.

2. The Crescent City series by Sarah J Mass (read on the best thing I own: my Kindle)

With book six of ACOTAR coming out in October, I felt it was finally time to ready The Crescent City series in order to have a holistic view of the SJM universe. Generally, I had not heard amazing things about this series which is why, 3 years ago when I read TOG and ACOTAR, it wasn’t my next stop. Oh how wrong I was… This series had me c a p t i v a t e d from start to finish. A new world I had the pleasure of being immersed in for a whole month.

3. All Of Me by Narciso Rodriguez (€60)

I had a sample of this perfume a few months ago that quickly became my prized possession, walking down the street I’d be stopped to be asked what scent I was wearing and it gave me a complex like no other. I knew I had to make a purchase and develop my complex, but generously, it was my birthday gift from my mum! I have worn it everyday since getting it, and never had more compliments.

4. ASOS Design White Satin Trousers (€34….)

With autumn quickly approaching, my style has begun its transitional shift and one piece I have been wearing everyday are these ASOS Design satin trousers. I love how elevated they look while still feeling super comfortable, pair with the Sezane Denim Shirt and you have my hyper-fixation outfit. Its effortless, chic & stylish without trying to be!

5. Saie Beauty Dew Bronze in Swim (€25)

This product has carried me through all seasons this year and only gotten better with time. In July I purchased for the third (yes, third) time and as someone who is lucky enough to try many new products on the market, I keep returning to my Dew Bronze like a toxic ex-boyfriend. It enhances and sits like a second skin, creating the perfectly toned sun-kissed glow. All my friends have since purchased, truly the best liquid bronzer on the market.

6. The Leo Frame Jeans (€250)

Is €250 an obscene amount of money to spend on a pair of jeans? Yes. Would I recommend them to everyone that will listen? Yes.

Indulge my girl maths for just one second: I bought these jeans 117 days ago, and since worn them 117 times (I wish I was kidding…) meaning that my cost per wear is currently standing at €2,14… In my opinion, a steal. These jeans are the best fitting jeans I have ever owned, ones I reach to every single day and will continue to until there are holes in the knees. Yes €250 is a lot of money for a pair of jeans, but I would buy them 10x over and I think that says everything.

7. Redken Extreme Length Shampoo and Conditioner (€56)

One of my most asked questions is how I grew my hair, and similarly to many of these products, if you give me a second of your time I would take an hour talking about how incredible the Redken Extreme Length duo are. Single handedly, they have carried the weight of my hair growth journey and I have repurchased four times due to their sheer capability. If you want your hair to grow, get these.

8. Huda Beauty Lip Contour Stain in Cinnamon (€25)

I fear I have saved the best until last… If you want a lip stain you can apply first thing, and that will still be there 12 hours later when you come to take your makeup off, the Huda Beauty Lip Contour is a must. My personal preference of shade is Cinnamon, simple because darker toned pinks/reds suit my complexion the best, but the perfect true pink shade is Rosewood. I bought this in New York when it came out and have used it every single day. Truly I couldn’t recommend more.

august favourites

Loyalty is true to my core, and if I love a product I LOVE a product, which is why giving recommendations is no small task for me. This list of products are my ride-or-dies and I hope that if you’re looking for some new bits for September, you can find inspiration here.

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Because of this, I pride myself on having a list of some of the deepest, most romantic fantasy book recommendations (to fill the void that is my love life)…

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I know I can’t be the only one struggling so I thought I could compile them into a list for my fellow (single) lover girls:

1. The Crescent City series by Sarah J. Maas

   • House of Earth and Blood

   • House of Sky and Breath

   • House of Flame and Shadow

2. The Crowns of Nyaxia series by Carissa Broadbent

   • The Serpent and the Wings of Night

   • The Ashes and the Star-Cursed King

3. ACOTAR series by Sarah J. Maas

   • A Court of Thorns and Roses

   • A Court of Mist and Fury

   • A Court of Wings and Ruin

   • A Court of Frost and Starlight

   • A Court of Silver Flames

4. The Gods and Monsters series by Amber V. Nicole

   • The Book of Azrael

   • The Throne of Broken Gods

   • The Dawn of the Cursed Queen

   • The Wrath of the Fallen.

5. The Empyrean series by Rebecca Yarros

   • Fourth Wing

   • Iron Flame

   • Onyx Storm

6. The Kindred’s Curse series by Penn Cole

   • Spark of the Everflame

   • Glow of the Everflame

   • Heat of the Everflame

7. The Crimson Moth duology by Kristen Ciccarelli

   • Heatless Hunter/The Crimson Moth

   • Rebel Witch

8. The Zodiac Academy series by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti

   • The Awakening

   • Ruthless Fae

   • The Reckoning

   • Shadow Princess

   • Cursed Fates

   • Fated Throne

   • Heartless Sky

   • Sorrow and Starlight

   • Restless Stars

There are a million more recommendations I could make, but 8 series feels like a good start… I’d love to know any romantasy series you would recommend to help me forget about the dire state of my dating life.

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But for now, the books I read will only help me increase my standards until I find the person that has trekked across universes to find me.

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If you want see what I am reading in real time you can follow me on Fable, but for now, let’s get into January:

1. Children of Fallen Gods (The War of Lost Hearts #2), Carissa Broadbent

   • 2.5*: One of my favourite fantasy series is Broadbent’s Crowns of Nyaxia duology, so when I was recommended The War of Lost Hearts series I was immediately excited, but very quickly let down. Book one, Daughter of No Worlds, was better than Children of Fallen Gods, but the story lacked vital world-building and a depth to the characters that so many fantasy books create so well. Maybe I am a little snobbish, but when there are so many good fantasy series out there… I am not going to waste my time on one that doesn’t live up.

2. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

   • 4*: A truly beautiful tale, with an even more beautiful meaning between the lines. The Alchemist is a story of the journey of an Andalusian shepherd, who travels to find hidden treasure but on the way finds something arguably more valuable… himself. The themes of self-discovery and community makes this such a lovely book to read, especially at the start of a year. I couldn’t recommend it enough.

3. Animal Farm, George Orwell

   • 3*: Animal Farm is a really interesting novel, based upon the Soviet Union. Throughout the book, we get an insight into communism and how this unfolds within a make-believe society made up of farm animals. While this isn’t a ground-breaking story, my recommendation comes from a place of intrigue and fascination. Not just from the fictional political nature, but from the real-world struggles Orwell overcame to be able to publish.

4. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley

   • 4.5*: Written in 1932, Brave New World is a pioneering story which feels 20 years old, not 94 years old. Huxley was unbelievably ahead of his time curating this story which encapsulates what humans need to be a part of a functioning and efficient society. The portrayal of the world in his writing creates a complete picture in one’s mind, and my favourite chapter was the penultimate one. I truly couldn’t recommend enough.

5. Everything I Know About Love, Dolly Alderton

   • 3*: In 2023, I tried to read this book but couldn’t get past the first 50 pages. I have more of a back-bone now but even still I really struggled. While I am glad to have read this story, and did ultimately enjoy it, I found Alderton to be quite a dislikable character in her early 20’s and struggled to connect to her, which made the story drag quite considerably. I liked her honesty throughout the book, and could relate to her on certain themes, I have heard from friends that the audiobook is better than reading it so maybe give that a go first…

6. Transit, Rachel Cusk

   • 2.5*: I can appreciate the essence of what Cusk is trying to portray in that transitions are delicate and subconscious, coming to fruition at moments you would least expect, but overall I found the story to be quite mundane. Again, I understand Cusk’s intention to present the reader with the same feelings as the protagonist, personally I just felt it was too monotonous.

7. Days at the Morisaki Bookshop, Satoshi Yagisawa

   • 4*: This novel combined two of my favourite things: Japanese authors and stories about book shops. The novel revolves around the Morisaki Bookshop which becomes home to the protagonist who is trying to rebuild her life. I love the settings of bookshops because I think they offer such beautiful themes of community, perspective and immersion. Days at the Morisaki Bookshop is an absolutely wonderful book, I couldn’t recommend enough.

8. Hot Milk, Deborah Levy

   • 3*: My final book of January and I felt similarly to how I did after finishing Transit. It is a story set in multiple different locations, of which Levy does a wonderful job of illustrating, offering a lovely visualisation. The main theme, I would say, was that of the power of the mind and the influence mindset can have on one’s life. If you have read either Transit or Hot Milk and enjoyed it, I would recommend the other to you, but it neither have been books I would be rushing to endorse.

Of the eight books I would recommend you to read: The Alchemist, Brave New World and Days at the Morisaki Bookshop. If you want to hear me talk through all of these, I have my book review video here & I can’t wait to do one each month!

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I’d love to hear the books you have read so far in 2026, and if you have any recommendations for me, I’d love to hear them! <3

The year is 2021. It is January. I am sat in my bleak, dark university room, dreaming that one day I will be out of this city, surrounded by people so aligned with me I feel our souls are tied, and working a job that provides me with security I have always craved.

Five years later, those dreams are my reality. And they have been for some time.

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What happens, though, when you can acknowledge that you are living the life you once dreamt of, but something doesn’t feel right. You don’t feel fulfilled. You dont feel secure. You dont feel happy. And to admit this feels utterly ungrateful and incredibly insensitive, because these days are not only ones you dreamt of, but days dreamt of by many others.

Growing up as someone who always set high expectations for themselves, now translates into never feeling satisfied or good enough, but ‘maybe you dont notice your progress, because you’re always raising your bar.’

For a long time, my career had been my identity. How many followers I have, my engagement rate, the brand deals in my inbox. And I have known for a long time now that social media doesn’t fulfil me the way it once did, but it is so integrated into my (perceived) identity, I didn’t know what to do with these thoughts.

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So I just pushed them down and hoped they would pass.

But, as we all know, feelings like that do not ‘just pass,’ they appear, violently, in other ways until you finally have to confront yourself with what is actually happening deep down, as well as your true feelings. That’s what 2024 was for me:

Constant unhappiness, diminishing self-worth and daily break-downs.

Fast-forward to January 2025. I decided it was time for change. Change to my mindset. Because: what a privilege to be tired from work I once dreamt of, to be overwhelmed by the growth I once craved, to be challenged by the life I created purposefully.

Mindset, beyond any doubt, changes everything. To see the world, stresses or unfortunate events, positively, completely changes your perception of them. Because the energy you put out is the energy you get back—so to be positive is to receive positivity.

Going into 2026, I want to remember that these are the days I dreamt of, to notice my progress, to see the world with positive eyes.

Because if you can’t change it, you must change the way you think about it.

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Due to this, the amount of time I spent reading was unnecessarily significant, but lucky for you this means I have the most comprehensive list for the “I need a book recommendation” question that inevitably pops up at this time of the year.

Out of the 60 books I read, I thought I could give you one recommendation for each month of 2026, and if reading a book a month is one of your resolutions this is the perfect read for you…

1. January

   • The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides creates excitement and thrill during the long, dark nights. Potentially my all-time favourite thriller, with great protagonists, and an even greater twist… It’ll have you hooked, the perfect way to get into your reading journey for the new year.

2. February

   • Yellowface by R. F. Kuang written in the first person follows a struggling author and her journey to get published. It contains twists, thrill and a riveting story that you can’t help but dive in to.

3. March

   • I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman is a fascinating novel set in a dystopian world where we follow the protagonist as they move through their life. The profound message runs quietly between the lines and will make you stop and question.

4. April

   • The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd presents a novel perfect for the change in weather and season. A coming-of-age story that incorporates loss, family and navigating an interracial landscape in 1960’s America. A truly beautiful and heart-warming story.

5. May

   • Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom is such a profound book, there are not words to quite articulate how much of an impact it has. A true story and memoir of sociology professor Morrie Schwartz, who presents the most important messages he has learnt throughout his life.

6. June

   • Tomorrow, Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin combines themes of friendship, identity and failure to create the intricate story that pieces together two complex protagonists. A story about love, sacrifice and creating something from your heart.

7. July

   • Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors is one of my top books from 2025 so it felt right for my birthday month this should be the choice. Mellors an artist when it comes to articulating the nuances of sisterhood and family, it is a story that will not only stay with you, but make you think.

8. August

   • The Unmaking of June Farrow by Adrienne Young has the perfect combination of family, love, magic and unknown. So beautifully written, I found myself trying to find the missing pieces between the lines and is one of my favourite mystery books.

9. September

   • Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi feels like the perfect cosy read for the beginning of autumn. As you probably know by now, I love a book with a meaning, and I believe this has the perfect combination of story and message. It is heart-warming, thought provoking and will leave its mark on you.

10. October

    • If Cats Disappeared from the World by Genki Kawamura portrays what it means to love, to lose and to accept. 2025 is the year I really discovered Japanese authors and fell in love with the significant nature of the themes they include, this novel is the perfect example of this.

11. November

    • Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt is a beautiful story portraying serendipity and coincidence, in the most heart-felt way. You fall in love with the characters and their lives whilst being deeply invested in the novel.

12. December

    • The Midnight Library by Matt Haig perfectly compliments the reset, goal planning & reflection that occurs in December. This is my most gifted book because I truly believe that wherever you are in your life or in the world, this book will leave a lasting, deep impact on your soul and mindset.

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I deliberately didn’t include any fantasy or romantasy in these recommendations as I know they aren’t for everyone… But (because it’s my favourite genre) 36 out of the 60 books I read were fantasy. Whether you dream of attending Basgiath College or are wanting to explore the genre, here are my fantasy recommendations for you:

First Timer:

• The Empyrean Series by Rebecca Yarros

  • Fourth Wing

  • Iron Flame

• Dire Bound by Sable Sorenson

• Fae & Alchemy Series by Callie Hart

  • Quicksilver

  • Brimstone

Fantasy Lover:

• Alchemised by SenLinYu

• Zodiac Academy Series by Caroline Peckham & Susanne Valenti

• Crowns of Nyxia Series by Carissa Broadbent

  • The Serpent and the Wings of Night

  • The Ashes & the Star-Cursed King

• From Blood and Ash Series by Jennifer L. Armentrout

The same way people see months as colours or feelings, at this point, I see months as books. These books just inherently feel like each month.

My 2026 goal is 75 books (clearly I don’t want to have a life), so I would love to know if you have any recommendations similar to these! I love a novel with a deep message or an enemies to lovers romantasy (the perfect combination if you ask me.)

Happy reading <3

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Platonically, I am incredibly lucky. I truly feel I have found my people. People that brighten my day, encourage me, reciprocate my love. When I spend time with them, I genuinely feel a physical expansion of my heart, like a profound love being emitted and received.

Experiencing a love like this, it is all-consuming and unconditional.

My female friendships taught me how I want to be loved, and not only this, but how I can be loved. They see me for everything I am, and accept each flaw and each failing. Receiving this has made me love myself more.

That is what I believe to be true love.

It is a magical feeling to be seen without performing, to be loved without conditions, to be understood without explaining. My female friendships are so intensely intricate, they are blueprint for what I now look for romantically.

On one hand, this is a beautiful thing, we are constantly encouraged to “increase our standards” and not to “settle for less.” However, when you love so radically, the chance of being able to find a soul like your own feels increasingly slim.

In a world that values casual sex and noncommittal relationships, where is the yearning we were promised in our fairy tales? Once upon a time, I believed I would walk outside and my Prince Charming would be stood in front of my door. The person perfectly crafted for me.

But then I grew up, and Hinge was invented…

In spite of this, I don’t feel (too) disheartened. I believe that out of 8 billion people on earth, one person will have a soul to the likes of my own… Surely?

Because people who love passionately are meant to be loved passionately. And the love I have received has given me the confidence to wait for the right soul.

A soul like my own.

I was miserable, insecure, constantly needing more.

When the clock struck 12, I had an epiphany, the change I needed to make wasn’t radical, it was the exact opposite. I needed to slow down. I needed to live in the present. I needed to find out who I was and what truly mattered to me.

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I desperately wanted to enjoy each day.

I knew I couldn’t add days to my life, so I found a way to add life to my days.

This year I have spent more time alone than ever before, grounded myself in routine and being at home. I have romanticised the rain and grey, journaled most days, read 57 (+) books, all in an effort to ‘find myself’.

What I have found, is that all of the above has brought me closer to my inner child. To what I enjoyed while growing up. And honouring this has been the best therapy.

This time last year I had all the same goals and dreams as I do now, however, my mind was in such disarray that the pathways I believed would lead me to these were completely warped. I was a flower, waiting to bloom but in a darkened room. In 2025, I opened the windows.

Taking time to be grounded and present in my life has created the space for such growth and transformation. I have come a full circle this year, realigned myself with who I am and where my values lie. I am in the exact same position as I was this time last year, the only difference is me…

Not only do I now know what I want, I can accept what isn’t right for me. I can listen to myself, have confidence in my actions and decisions.

All this is to say that I hope this years love lasts, that I can preserve all the gratitude and enlightenment that has knocked on my door, because in order to love who you are, you have to love the experiences that have shaped you.

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But is it only cool when you film yourself doing something embarrassing, or are people truly embracing the good, the bad, and the cringe?

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When I think of cringe, what comes to mind is the age old story of the girl you went to school with ‘trying’ to become and influencer… (the story is mine, and the influencer is me.)

Growing up, I so desperately wanted to be a part of the ‘popular’ group, to be cool and to fit in. I really did care what people thought, however I knew confidence wasn’t a personality trait but a learnt behaviour, a belief system.

Although I was young, I knew if I conditioned this belief, the confidence would come and, with this, the ability to own my choices, decisions and actions.

When I decided I wanted to take social media seriously, I knew it would be another defining moment in my confidence journey. I had just begun university, was meeting lots of new people and my boyfriend at the time told me it was ‘too cringe.’ I would hear of people I went to school with talking about how much I’d changed, or how self-absorbed I must be.

Of course, none of the people that spoke about me took even a moment to continue to know to me after high-school. And what they failed to understand is that they knew a past version of me that no longer existed, and talked about me without truly knowing my values or visions.

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If I had never ‘made a fool of’ or ‘embarrassed’ myself by posting on social media, I never would be where I am today, living in my dream city, doing my dream job.

Because here’s the thing: between you and your goals is an o c e a n of cringe.

And living your life in the shadow of other peoples opinions means that your life isn’t yours. Take the trip, quit the job, wear the dress, post the video. The more often you do it, the less it’ll bother you.

As I have gotten older and explored my embarrassment, the more confident I have become. I surround myself with people who know what they believe and what they want out of life. I travel, meeting new people with different outlooks and opinions. I work on myself figuring out what I truly care about and who I want to be.

Everyday I have become happier with my decisions and who I am as a person. I have honoured the girl I used to be by conditioning my confidence and my growth has been a beautiful thing. If I had allowed other peoples opinions to be my limitations, I may still be in my home town, unsure of myself or my place in the world.

Embarrassment is an unexplored emotion, go out there, make a fool of yourself, and find out who you are along the way.

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At the end of the day, do it or don’t do it, time will pass anyway.

Screen time is a topic that is currently taking precedent in my conversations with friends: “It’s rotting our brains,” “I feel like I am addicted to it,” “I waste so much time, it’s just endless…”

A week ago I gave myself an intervention, my screen time has reach record highs. Over 10 hours, with 4 of those being spent on social media. I was astonished and knew it couldn’t continue.

10 hours a day × 365 days a year = 3,650 hours a year.

If I continued on I’d be spending roughly 152 full days of the year on my phone. That’s about five months of my waking life absorbed by a screen, doing god-knows nothing.

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My intervention came in rigid rules I instilled upon my settings, and during this time, my roommate also had her own internal crisis and bought a Brick (a glorified NFT tag) but a physical barrier to our screens, for which, we have coined the phrase:

“I can’t, I’m bricked”

And so far this has been helping, my screen time has been reduced from 10 hours to 3-4 (not ideal although we’re getting somewhere). But a heavier question has been playing on my mind:

What am I searching for while I am scrolling?

Am I desperately trying to fill a void of loneliness? Am I trying to escape the responsibilities that feel too overwhelming? Am I trying to find the fulfilment I am so clearly lacking? Or, am I just bored?

It could be all, or it could be none. But what I do know is that something isn’t aligning, something is absent. To feel although I must escape from reality for over 10 hours of the day, to lose sight of what I truly love to do with my time, what I am passionate about.

Because how long has it been since I have felt bored or filled my day with people, places, hobbies and nature. Desired deep dopamine instead of a quick fix in the form of a 7 second TikTok.

I am not yet out of the trenches of my enslavement to my phone: I constantly pick it up, miss scrolling on TikTok, try to use Instagram on my laptop when it hits 7pm and my hour limit has run out.

Nevertheless, I am slowly regaining autonomy in my life, allowing myself to feel boredom, to begin to relearn what I love to do and spend my time on. Taking time to introspect on what hole I am trying to fill with a screen, and curating a (screen-less) dopamine menu for those times I do want a hit.

Sometimes you need to take it back to basics, time in nature, enough rest, real food and less screen time…

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Recently the dialogue of my journal has consisted of exasperation towards the world for presenting me with adversity that I believe continues to ‘harden’ me. It’s not that I want to portray this tough, hyper-independent persona, though it sometimes seems the world has another agenda.

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But, in spite of all of this, I still feel too soft: I get disappointed easily, I love others so radically they wonder why, I cry at books and I give to people expecting nothing in return.

Taking some distance from these thoughts has encouraged me to take another stance, because what a shame it is to mistake softness for weakness.

To be soft is to be strong.

There is an exquisite power in staying soft.

As a woman, gentleness is usually presented as a fatal flaw, we are encouraged to take on a more masculine mentality to avoid being taken advantage of, being stepped on, being overlooked. But our softness is our superpower. There is such strength in the quiet nuances of our femininity.

And refrain from misconstruing that this equates to not setting boundaries, because for me, it is the exact opposite. The boundaries we set allow our softness to sprout and your gentleness to grow.

Our femininity is knowing ourselves well enough to say no, taking rest in a hectic world. It’s staying true to ourselves and not apologising or compromising for it.

Haruki Murakami once said “the world is an inherently unfair place,” and as each day passes I am reminded of this. One of the most valuable things we can do with this information is to embrace it. Embrace the unfairness, the pain, the adversity. To not grow hard or to allow the world to ‘toughen you up’ simply as it is easier…

“Because being soft doesn’t mean being weak. It means you have the courage to stay gentle in a hard world.”

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We’ve reached the stage where a boy dog could provide you with more love than a human man, and giving out your number has become mindless swiping.

The realisation that I now can never say: “We were childhood sweethearts” or “We met during university,” is one that I know will pilfer a little joy from discussions about my future husband. But for those of us who met their exes young, sometimes you just have to say: this isn’t how I want to be loved for the rest of my life and then move on.

You can always tell how much someone respects and loves themselves by how quickly they remove themself from situations that don’t make them happy, dont make them inspired or motivated. Many relationships are no longer working because women are becoming the men they want.

When asked, men may explain that single women have to be less fickle, focus less on aesthetics or height, when according to Match’s 2025 “Singles In America” survey: 48% of people said that kindness and empathy were their important traits.

Have we reached a time where kindness and empathy are 'important traits’ to look for in a potential partner, and not just human decency?

According to a 2024 study commissioned by Tinder, 94% of women say they think the current dating environment is more difficult than ever. Women find encouragement and elation from within their tight-knit female circles. Feeling a declining need to look elsewhere, especially to the male gender.

There is a soft rebellion in the not needing of anyone, in the not waiting around, in the history of almost’s you removed yourself from because something felt like it was missing. A power in having autonomy in modern love and on learning to leave.

Dating in your 20s is withdrawing when external love doesn’t feel quite right, but finding a solitude in turning to the love we carry within us. For ourselves, for our friends, for our family. Knowing that if I can love the way I do, the love I am looking for exists and if it is right, it will find its way to me.

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In the 90’s, my mum booked a ‘round the world’ ticket, landed in Australia and stayed for 10 years. She would call home every Sunday from the phone at the end of the road, but aside from this she would write letters to send via Airmail.

There is a special sort of love in taking the time to write down your schedule, the friends you have seen, the way a comment at work made you feel. It is one that has been slowly lost with the rise of technology and ease of communicating through memes. I do believe that slow, ordinary sort of love still lives within us.

A love that encourages us to bake bread instead of buying it, to drop by instead of calling, or to gift a book you know they’ll love.

To receive this type of love establishes an intimacy that comes from being understood. The feeling of being cherished, of being seen. I am fortunate enough to feel this love from a few people, one being, my best friend. It’s cliché to say “she knows me better than I know myself,” but she does.

She knows how I slept by the way I say “Good morning.” She knows the ratio of avocado to cracker on my hyper-fixation breakfast. She knows the last time I wore the skirt I am looking for.

Her love language is also writing letters. An art that is not lost on her. An art I appreciate deeply.

Love does not have to be grand gestures or great gifts, I believe true love, deep love, is found in subtleties such as letter writing, of wanting to share your life with someone.

Recently my aunt passed away. She was my guiding light, my biggest inspiration. I haven’t even begun to process my grief, but whilst going through some of her things I found a letter she had written one of her best friends. It was nothing special, just her discussing the weather, what she had eaten for dinner and the shows she was watching.

For me, reading this wasn’t necessarily an insight into her life, it was an insight into her love. Her love was one so deep you felt it from across the world. One you were grateful to feel for even a day, never mind the 23 years I was lucky enough to get.

The way she loved was so profound in its nuances because she always knew how to make people feel seen. She would send cards because they would remind her of you and books she knew you’d love.

So, if you take anything from this it is that you should write them a letter, the first person that springs to mind. It doesn’t have to be a declaration, simply start with what you had for breakfast.

Making someone feel cherished and understood is no small feat but it can be achieved easier than you may believe.

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Sometimes I pause, thinking of all the choices I could have made, the paths I could have taken. The lives I could have lived, the feelings I could have felt. I believe in all of these possible lives I could have felt infatuation, intricacies, animosity and anguish.

Portuguese has a word that perfectly articulates this feeling: “Saudade”, a deep emotional state of longing for something that never was, or could have been. Be it love, time, or life unlived.

So what is it to believe you have made the right choices, in fact how does one define ‘right?’ Because you can have anything, but you can’t have everything. So instead of us focusing on our regrets, on our possibilities, maybe we should focus on our definitives. What we know to be true.

I know that the city I live in brings me delight each day as I walk out my door. I know that the people I surround myself with bring me inspiration each day through the simplicity of our conversation. I know the hobbies I fill my time with bring me a deep rooted sense of self, healing a part of me I didn’t realise I needed to cherish.

The special kind of serendipity that means we are at this exact moment in space and time, brings me a sense of comfort that no well-intended monologue could ever begin to provide. How could any of the choices we made be misguided or incorrect when they have lead us to this exact moment?

Hollywood knows this also, creating captivating and provocative pieces of cinema to capture this specific conclusion, be it in “Sleepless in Seattle”, “Sliding Doors” or “Serendipity” itself.

I believe deeply that the cost of never taking a risk is spending your life wishing you had. Perhaps this is why the more risks I take, the less likely I would be to pick up a book in The Midnight Library.

That longing of a life to yearn for fades, because I have the autonomy and confidence in myself, making choices that serve me and the life I dream of, whilst not living in the regret that thoroughly dims potential.

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