So if you don’t know the, what is it, the TLDR, is that how you say it, of this situation is a very, very prominent astrologer been around for ages, Steven Forrest, was on a podcast that I believe is hosted by [00:01:00] some dear friends, at the very least to their dear friends. I think they’re, like, even closer to, like, mentees.

And one of the hosts is Black, and this person, Steven Forrest, decided to, in a moment of what we call over-familiarity chose to use the N-word on the podcast in the form of a joke. And if you’re listening to this via audio, I am in fact using air quotes around the idea of using the N-word as a joke.

But this is what this person claims. Obvious- well, obviously we know about it because the podcast was published, which is a, a whole ‘nother conversation. But this podcast was published and went public, and the public listens to it because the public, at least the astrological public, listens to Steven Forrest.

Very, very prolific writer and speaker, and actually a headliner or [00:02:00] was slated to be a headliner for the upcoming, um, major astrological conference that according to what I’ve read, has sold out for the first time in advance, which is a big deal, and really kinda shows where we’re at. Um, I just w- just wanna write another note.

Um Sorry, my desk was shaking ‘cause I’m writing another note. I’m really trying to keep this podcast, like, intentional and thoughtful and not run too many tangents. I’m really good at a rabbit trail, so I’m trying to keep it really tight. But there has been obviously outcry about this person that is very, very respected in the astrological world.

Did I mention that they are a white, cisgendered, heterosexual male, older male? Z- upper class at the very least, [00:03:00] not a middle class individual, someone who has some cash in the bank, someone who probably has a savings account. And so yeah, like, this is, this is a person that is, had used this word in public, recorded, and has since, as people have responded with a lot of hurt, a lot of disappointment, a lot of frustration, a lot of confusion emotionally, you know, to have someone who has mentored so many a diverse group of astrologers have been mentored by this person, and yet they use this incredibly violent word so flippantly in the presence of someone who’s Black, in the presence of someone who respects him, and that person probably felt like they’re on the spot.

For anybody who’s questioning h- why this Black man [00:04:00] responded the way that he did in the moment, um, you’ve probably never been called the N-word. I’m just gonna say that and leave that there. It is a very jarring, shocking experience to be called that or have someone, e- especially a white person, particularly a non-Black person, use the N-word in front of you.

It is a very violent, shocking experience to live through. And you react or you react in a way when, when that happens in a way that’s akin to someone slapping you in the face. Like, you don’t even know how to react. You can’t even believe that it’s real, what’s occurring. Again, why it got published, I don’t know.

Why it didn’t get edited out, I have no idea. But here we are, and we have this opportunity to address something, address an incident that is not only [00:05:00] really, really important to be occurring in the astrological community, but is just a general really good- learning opportunity for allies and how we carry ourselves.

And I say we because while I am a lesbian, Black woman, um, I’m also cisgendered. I’m also, ... I don’t know. There’s some other things. I, I’m, I, I speak English. I’m a, I’m a, a citizen, a born citizen of the United States. There are other privileges that I hold that I have to keep in check in order to be an ally to the communities that are marginalized even in ways that I am not.

So that’s why I say we. When I say the word ally, I include myself. So this is a learning opportunity for us as [00:06:00] allies. Anyone who cares about other people who are different from them this is a really important moment. And I want to say, first and foremost, because I do wanna talk about the allyship piece first, this is an incident that actually rhymes with the KevOnStage incident with the LGBTQIA+ community that happened a couple months ago.

I think it’s really important to pull this in because there’s a really important contrast that happens as far as how these two individuals handled backlash in a moment of weakness, I guess, is one of the better ways of putting it, in a moment of when their, when their behaviors did not align with their stated values.

I want to just go on and say first and foremost that I’m not necessarily here to demonize Steven Forrest because I don’t know him [00:07:00] and his work to that extent. I, yes, I am familiar. I have read a couple books of his. Um, to be really, really honest, his work, while insightful at times, was also felt a little bit reductive.

And so I’m just gonna say that and take that as you will. But as a Black woman, I would read his work and be like, “Eh,” you know, here and there. So a, a, a, an experience that is not That is not unique when I’m encountering really a- any work written by, you know, s- the, the majoritized minority, to be really frank.

So it’s something that is, is to be navigated. I’m ex- I’m, I’m used to navigating that. The tension between my values of liberation, and abolition, and inclusion, and [00:08:00] intersectionality when I’m encountering work written by majoritized minority people, I am not surprised when they don’t always jive.

And so that, I’m just gonna put that there. But this was obviously not good, and there is really no room to defend what happened. And so any s- anywhere where anyone’s coming to his defense, I think is also included in what I’m about to say as far as how allies operate. Okay. Allies are people who value whose values result in more inclusion, more equality, more equity more trust, [00:09:00] and most importantly, greater accountability It is inevitable that an ally will cause harm to the marginalized people in their world that they care about.

And the closer those people are to you, the more intimate your relationship is with those marginalized people as an ally, the higher the risk and the likelihood of you causing harm to that person at some point in your relationship with them. This is human nature. This is being born and raised in a white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal society, imperialistic society.

This is just [00:10:00] basic relationship knowledge. I say that and I wanna make the point that a lot of times white people or m- or allies believe that they are

Impeachable or unimpeachable, excuse me, unimpeachable. That they’re, that, that the, the closeness of marginalized people to them, the closer relationships they have with marginalized people means that they are less likely to cause harm because they have, because they, they have proximity. The phrase I’m not racist, just ask my Black friend is really common is a common retort when an ally, so-called ally is called out for causing harm because this wrong thinking is so prolific.

But this, that [00:11:00] wrong thinking is not just applicable to allies and the people that they care about. This is just humans. The people closest to you end up experiencing the worst of you more often than not, and so it’s really important then to accept that as true and to use that as a guiding light to how you approach your relationships with marginalized folks.

When that inevitable moment happens, however, not to say that using the N-word in front of a Black person is inevitable, that is absolutely not. That’s, that’s another topic. But we’re... I’m not talking about the level of injury, I’m just talking about the, the opportunity for injury, which is great. But when that inevitably happens, that harm, what separates the ally [00:12:00] from everybody else is not perfection, is not perfect behavior, ‘cause perfect behavior doesn’t exist.

The split occurs around accountability People with privilege, people of privilege must choose accountability, must choose responsibility when they cause harm because we live in a society that will not necessarily hold them ca- accountable dependably when they make such harms In this particular case, one of the things a lot of people were calling for is a OAC, I believe, the UAC, I can’t remember.

I’m really bad with names and acronyms. But this big conference, this big astrological conference that’s happening that Steven Forrest is [00:13:00] headlining, people are calling on this organization to de-platform him. Fine. I get that, and I think that would be a really great move if that organization did that.

But the fact of the matter is, institutions are really, really, really, really bad at stepping in and holding privileged people accountable for causing harm Allies, someone who calls themself an ally, someone who believes themselves to be a friend to marginalized people, must account for the privilege that they have by choosing accountability.

In this particular case, that would look like one of, h- one of the ways that could look is Steven Forrest choosing not to [00:14:00] speak at this place, to come out himself and say, “Listen, I injured the community with my behavior. I should not be platformed this year because that type of behavior is not acceptable.

It’s not acceptable from me or from anyone else. And to show people that I am truly seeking reparation, I am seeking repair, I am taking accountability for my behaviors, I am giving up my place as a platformed person. Uh, let me platform this person that I harmed because I’m sure they have some things to say.

Let me platform someone else.” I wanna say something very clearly that, yes, the astrological community in the United States, in the West there are a lot of white folks. Y- you would never be able to sell out a conference like that this particular type of [00:15:00] conference, just from minoritized astrologers necessarily.

But you could fill the main stage with minoritized astrologers easily. You could easily fill every single speaking opportunity with a marginalized, minoritized astrologer, with queer astrologers, with Black astrologers, brown astrologers, disabled astrologers people from all over the world, non-English-speaking astrologers.

You could have ... There are so, there are enough of us to fill every single speaking spot, and that’s the important part. We need everybody, right? Like, y- no one is asking for less white people to be astrologers or less [00:16:00] white people to use their platforms and speak on these subjects, but we are asking for privileged people who claim to be allies to hold themselves accountable to their own values, understanding that how they carry themselves Impacts the entire community.

So just like their harm, just like Steven Forest’s harm that he caused, excuse me, harm that he caused to one man during the recording of that podcast flowed out once that r- podcast was published and made public and listened to by the collective, just like that harm was proliferated through that person’s behavior, the healing and the repair can also be proliferated [00:17:00] through someone’s accountability and responsibility of their behavior.

So I really wanna make that point. On the other side, and this is more of an astrology point, a lot of people have been talking about the sun and Leo opposing Pluto and Aquarius, and the Saturn and Aries placement, and all these different things, but I wanna talk about something as we’re experiencing a Chiron return to Taurus.

The, the sign that Chiron was, was discovered in. That’s what I’m trying to say. Taurus is a sign that, that Chiron was discovered in, in 1971. I believe it was ‘71 or ‘77, one of the two. And so it’s back there for I believe the first time. The millennial generation, a lot of the millennial generation was born with Chiron in [00:18:00] Gemini, and I wanna say that in particular because people talk about how sensitive millennials are around rhetoric and words, what we say to each other, how we communicate to each other.

We’re often judged, particularly by boomers, for how, how seriously we take the words that we use to describe ourselves and each other. And I just wanna point out that as a generation with Chiron in Gemini, we were born that way. We’re supposed to be this way. We are supposed to find the healing that- that is inside the healing of the wound around words and communication.

Gemini being ruled by Mercury, we’re talking about how we [00:19:00] communicate with each other. And to have an elder use such violent language, you betcha. In a Chiron return moment, and I haven’t taken the time to figure out necessarily if there is a aspect that’s made or what that aspect looks like for, for various house placements and, and, um, planets.

But I will say that it’s just significant in and of itself that our generation drew the line where another generation didn’t see a line. That’s not necessarily their wound. Some did, I’m not saying everybody did not, because there are people who did. There are boomers who stood up and said this was wrong.

Black folks, white folks, men, women, everybody. There were [00:20:00] people who stood up and said this was wrong. So this is not about being too old to understand that saying the N word is bad. That is not a argument here. It is, so I just wanted to point that out. People were talking about the astrology of the moment, which is very applicable, but I think we also need to include this truth that many, many in our generation have Chiron and Gemini, and we are going to have our, the wound in us is activated by the words that we hear and say.

And the healing also is there. And so we will be those individuals who will rise up when violence comes in the form of words and language to find healing in that moment. And [00:21:00] healing oftentimes comes from s- using our words to say that what was done was harmful, and violent, and wounding, and we demand accountability and responsibility so that we can create a opportunity for healing.

Now, one of the opportunities for healing that I wanna talk about as I close that is already occurring, and that I think is so amazing, and one of the things that I also feel I can attribute to the sun and Leo, and Pluto and Aquarius, that opposition, is the shifting of what the astrology community looks like to itself.

For so long, at these conferences, and, and the podcasts, and the books published, and, and the people breaking into mainstream have been white, have been straight, have been [00:22:00] older, have been American, or Canadian, or British, or some Western identity. And that has been the case for a really long time. And since all this stuff with Steven Forrest has gone down, the

It’s almost like a dam has burst, and through it is flowing so many minoritized intuitive voices that have existed. And because of the limitations of our patriarchal, white supremacist, capitalist, imperialist society, they have not been able to gain the type of platforming that they really deserve.

And that has ... And this incident has allowed whatever that barrier was to [00:23:00] break. And coming out is just all these people, this, like, community of people that I have known in passing, or I’ve never ever, ever heard of at all, or ... I, I mean, I wanna say, this is not, this is not a, a rabbit trail, but this is just a personal story, that I personally have spent so, so much time, too much time looking for Black and brown astrologers, for queer astrologers, for decolonized astrologers, for intersectional astrologers out there.

To ... And not just individuals, but, like- Research, books events, t- opportunities to learn from these individuals. Because as a black person who is very curious and h- and has a background in, in, like investigative journalism and oral history [00:24:00] and curation and that kind of thing, I understand that if I only read books and, and listen to podcasts and listen to YouTube classes and lectures and all this from one type of person, I’m only gonna get one piece of the puzzle when it comes to understanding any topic.

And astrology’s no different. And so me as a cur- as a curious person, I have a lot of placements in my 9th house I want to know, like, what this is really about, particularly from people who look like me, and particularly from people who value the things I value, because I see astrology as a tool for liberation.

I see it as a tool to heal the wounds and the barriers that have been built up over the [00:25:00] centuries that have caused people to not understand who they are in full. And so this opportunity, this moment where I am meeting dozens and dozens of folks, of different astrologers from all over the country, all over the world, who look like me and don’t, who have experiences that I’ve never even dreamed of having, it’s bringing me so much life.

It’s bringing me so much joy. And I hate that sometimes this is how the world works, but sometimes this is how the world works. We know this. As astrologers, we know this. As people who study history, we know this. As people who are in the service community and, and in the care, in the care services and, and care for people through sociology or astrology or [00:26:00] psychology or any of these spaces, we understand that some of the greatest healing and some of the greatest discovery and opportunity come out of wound, out of harm, out of chaos.

And and that is just the way life works sometimes. And it is a welcome moment for me. It is a moment of joy for me to be able to be introduced to so many new voices. Some- and some are not new. Some have been around for years, for decades, but just have never been able to get the opportunity to have their voice heard because the same structures and, and systemic isms that plague so many institutions and so many different communities also had a hold on the as- astrological community.[00:27:00]

And so the fact that that hold is breaking This is a beautiful day. This is a beautiful new day. This is a, a, an opportunity to celebrate. This is even, I feel, an opportunity for Steven Forrest to celebrate because he’s been doing this for a long-ass time, and he could afford to step back. He could afford to be in the audience for once, to not be the expert in the room.

I see that as an, an incredible opportunity as someone who has given so much to the as- the astrology, you know, to astrologers for decades, to finally get to be a student again, you know? To finally, like, just sit back and listen. And so I, I invite Steven Forrest to do that. I invite him to step down. I invite him to take [00:28:00] accountability for the choice that he made, that he knows is wrong because he, quote-unquote, apologized, so there is some sense of, like, what I did was not okay.

And so then to make repair, because apology is only half of the job of repair. Step down. Step down from this year’s conference. Let someone else take that place. Let someone else be heard. Let someone else be the expert in the room. Now’s the time. This is the moment for that to happen, and, and to choose against that would be standing in the way of opportunity for the whole community to be lifted up, and to see themselves, and to stretch themselves, and to confront themselves, all the things that we claim this work is about That [00:29:00] nobody’s exempt from it and nobody has done it long enough to not need to do it anymore.

And I think there’s a lot of people I’ve heard of on Facebook, it’s, it’s a hell hole over there. It’s a dumpster fire. There are a lot of people who believe that they don’t need to do... They’re done self-reflecting, that now they can just coast, and it’s really obvious that that’s not true. We all, this is a lifelong thing, and too many of us have gotten way too comfortable in the plateau that we’re at.

And it’s moments like this where seasoned, older voices carrying older standards and older stories and older ideas, it’s time for them to step back and to allow space for the new voices and the new [00:30:00]stories to come forth. I mean, this Aries moment, the whole, you know, the planet procession that we were talking about a couple months ago in Aries, it’s about new stories.

I talked about this on a, on another podcast. It is, it’s a new story. This is a new chapter, and so let’s, let’s lean into it. The Steven Forrests have given more than enough Take that as you will. That is a very, very full sentence I just said. They have given us plenty. They have given us plenty to examine, to critique, to learn from, all of those things.

It’s time for new voices. Frankly, it’s time for some new mistakes You know, instead of the same old racism mistake. Oh my God, it’s so old. Can we, can we just all ha- why haven’t we all agreed yet that we’re not using that word [00:31:00] anymore? That white people... No, we don’t do it. There was never a right time to do it, and today is not that day either.

We gotta get in some new trouble. We gotta have some different things going on so we can continue to grow and be better and, and, and be more available to provide wisdom to each other and to the world. So with that, I think I covered everything on my list. I think I kept it cute, and I really care about you all.

I, I’m, I’m so grateful that y’all listen to my podcast. I’d love to have you on as guests. Anybody who’s listening who has some things to say about the intersection of, of, um, history and astrology and human relations, [00:32:00] and all the ways, the ways that we relate to each other identity, I would love to talk to you.

In the meantime, have a beautiful day, a beautiful week, and I will see you next time. Bye.

Welcome back to Courtney Has Podcast! In this episode, I give a little life update regarding what I’ve been upto lately! I also chat about KevOnStage and his journey in understanding the true relationship between is educational for everyone who desires to become better allies to marginalized groups in their communities. Finally I talk about the importance of balancing our need for online connection while still being discerning about the integrity of social media content.

Want to be on the podcast? Shoot me an email at hello@courtneynapier.com or leave a comment!

Have a gorgeous week!

Still, I stand beside my analysis and I feel this Pisces placement makes it stronger. Pisces is an incredibly generous sign and has values as strong as their intuition. While they do not move with the same gravitas as Leos, they are still quite effective leaders. James Baldwin once said, “I can’t believe what you say because I see what you do.” This is a great description of a Pisces. They aren’t the loudest in the room, but the way they live out their values speaks volumes. During this nodal cycle, we can all pursue a more intuitive and value-based way of living out the theme of the house where Pisces resides in your chart.

Get more from Courtney in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

But only moments after the scientists began their dig, they noticed bones showing themselves beneath the sand’s surface. The lead archeologist halted use of more invasive instruments and instructed her crew to delicately uncover the human remains. Soon it was apparent that the ancient remains belonged to a child. Somberness enveloped the site and crew as they slowly and silently uncovered the body. The lead archeologist explained through tears that finding ancient children’s remains was common due to the high infant and child mortality rate during this time in history.

Watching the scene, I began to reflect on the technological, cultural, and even spiritual advances between then and now that have exponentially diminished. From vaccines and public education, to prenatal care and the concept of ACES and PACES, Our children should be safer than they’ve ever been.

And yet…

In 2020, life expectancy in the United States dropped for the first time in the modern era. Then, in 2021, it dropped again. While these numbers include Americans of all ages, contributing factors did include the rise in gun violence—the number one killer of American children. For the last 10 years, there has been an increasing anti-vaccine movement that has culminated in the current US Secretary of Health and Human Services has rolled back the infant vaccination schedule that had protected children and their families for generations, and we have a growing Measles outbreak moving across our country for the first time in decades. And I would be remiss not to mention the release of not only the Epstein Files, but the need for their release due to the refusal to listen to survivors. 1 in 4 children in the US are food insecure. Suicide rates are rising among younger children of all genders, races, and economic status.

If we’ve developed so many ways to increase the wellbeing of our children over the centuries, then why are they still experiencing such suffering?

While the news media reels from the disclosures pouring from the declassifyed Epstein Files, Black Americans and historians of the Antebellum South are finding themselves vasilating between exhaustion and wanting to riot. America has never been a safe place for children. The combination of chattel slavery, anti-Black racism, anti-Indigenous racism, and misogyny all codified in our patriarchal government and economized by capitalism makes children the least protected group in this country. All children were treated as property, not just Black enslaved children. Indigenous children, were ripped from their families, sent to boarding schools where their heads were shaved and their names were taken, and then given to white families to “raise as proper Americans.” White poor children were forced to work in the fields during our agrarian area, and then forced to work in factories with the Industrial Revolution. Immigrants were surveiled by the Americanisation Movement and forced to give up cultural names, foods, and familial practices by social workers and doctors. American Christianity failed to take Jesus’s declaration seriously when he said, “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” From the Catholic Church to the Southern Baptist Convention to Hillsong Church, children could never take their safety as a given, nor could they depend on anyone to believe them when harm was done. Homophobia played a special role in the violence so many children experienced—the same men who were taking advantage of them shouted from the pulpits that such desires and behavior was a sure fire way to burn in Hell. Too often adults feared the lie of damnation more than the truths revealed by abused young people. And many spiritual leaders were more enthusiastic about the profitability of “protecting the unborn,” a euphemistic catchphrase that materialized into stripping away agency and protection from one group of voters and concentrating that power into the hands of another, no accountability for their participation attached.

The United States is not in a novel crisis. This country has once again been exposed as the predator it has always been. Most Americans are not predatory, most are indeed prey. Still, our institutions have created protected spaces and judicial maneuvers for individuals who create the most harm simply because they have money, power, and access to more money and power. The same people who were vulnerable then are vulnerable now; a caste of second-class, underresourced, heavily surveiled citizens that has expanded exponentially over the decades like the Great Pacific Garbage Patch…all because the children of our society are more akin to political fodder and forced laborers than the future of humankind and those to whom we are most responsible.

However, we are not hopeless.

In fact, more and more communities across the are building visions for the future that center our young. Movements for universal health care, free college, universal pre-K and childcare, tighter regulations around substances allowed in food, water, and soil, maternal and paternal leave, affordable housing regulations, universal basic income, and more have been adopted by municipalities and states all over the country. Black, Indigenous, and immigrant communities are educating their children in their language and history. Healers and mental health professionals are equiping us with strategies and skills for reconnecting to our bodies, understanding our identity on our terms, healing our relationship with the inner child, and restoring self-love and self-trust for those who had been disempowered by oppressive systems. Positive and safe online and in-person affinity groups are replacing the missing gathering spaces that many left behind when they chose their safety and survival over churches, sports teams, jobs, and even family. Also, there are many workplaces, houses of worship, education spaces, and families who are repairing past harm and transforming their policies and methodologies to be safer spaces for young people.

Ultimately, the changes that have begun and those that are to come happen because more and more people choose to, somehow, reject the lie that children are inferior beings or the property of adults. Children, like elders, represent a stage of human development all of us will pass through. And, thanks to technology, humans are surviving this stage of development in greater numbers than in Ancient Khemet/Egypt. We were all children once, and our childhood experiences and relationships shape the adults we became in incalculable ways. Having enough to eat, space and time to play, a thorough and diverse education, support for their physical, mental, and spiritual health, space for self-expression and curiosity, and protection from harmful adults that follows them through their entire lives is the best societal and national life insurance any of us can invest in.

As I’ve grown into who I am, I feel as if I am less “mature” according to those early standards. I’m less agreeable and have firmer boundaries. I speak a little louder, use curse words, and I’m less tolerant of mistreatment. My idea of dressing professionally has moved away from ultra-modest suits, shapewear, and heels. Now I lead workshops and make apperances wearing flowy dresses with expressive patterns and my Converse sneakers. I realized just last year, at 37 years old, that I was no longer the person I was when entered into my marriage at 23. And, in order to be true to myself, I needed to separate from my former partner (someone I still care for very much). I have come out as a lesbian and I’m now in a relationship that I could have never dreamt of as a child. I would have been rejected by my community and told I was going to hell…and I would have cared. I’ve only recently discovered what I really want out of life, outgrowing the desires others had assigned to me.

On November 25th, a study was published in Nature Communications that has set the internet ablaze. After studying over four thousand brain scans, researchers have announced that there are 5 distinct brain phases:

• Childhood – from birth to age nine

• Adolescence – from nine to 32

• Adulthood – from 32 to 66

• Early ageing – from 66 to 83

• Late ageing – from 83 onwards

Yes, you read that correctly. Adolescence lasts from 9 to 32 years old. It’s fairly common knowledge that our prefrontal cortex isn’t fully developed until our late twenties, but researchers have expanded this understanding further to say that our brains are not considered “adult” until our early 30s. It’s also worth noting that wisdom traditions like Astrology and Human Design reveal a similarly timed path to adulthood marked by Saturn’s 30-year journey back to the position it was in at one’s birth.

I shared a post about the news in my Instagram stories the day it was released. Two different girlfriends of mine replied with, “This explains so much about men.”

Could it be possible, though, that this speaks less to differences in the maturity of men and women, and more about how society shapes our ideas about mature behaviors in men and women based on its own, capitalistic and patriarchical ends? What if the obedient, reliable, docile, young women that are lauded by society for their “maturity” are actually behaving immaturely. What if the maturity is actually that “No fucks” phenomenon that so many women describe experiencing when they turn 40. What if the obsession with material success and sexual prowess young men are taught to strive for is actually the exploitation of their immature mental state? What if the tenderness young fathers display with their children is the result of a more mature brain, or the man that decides to go to therapy because they have ignored the painful emotions long enough, is the sign of maturity in men. Or even pain in their body…

What if the mature man is the man who knows they need care, and mature woman is the woman who knows that they are so much more than an appliance of care?

The 5 Brain Phases identified through this landmark study invites us to place the idea of “maturity” under review. It calls us to look closer to the behavioral standards our society has placed upon us and critique both their historical formation and their present usefulness. As we imagine the new world we wish to build post-capitalism, post-colonialism, post-patriarchy, how must we also re-imagine adolescence, adulthood, and the new standard of maturity? While I have used binary language referring to gender for the purpose of responding to my friends’ prompts, the ideology of gender binary is hinderance to re-imagining adulthood for the future. For centuries, adulthood was synonymous with reproduction and puberty. Now we know that capacity to reproduce is just the tip of the iceberg, and that a healthy society needs more from its adults than babies. Society needs wisdom, unique perspectives, vulnerability, empathy, creativity, present and aware adults. We need adults who understand their intersectional identities, acknowledge both their frailties and their strengths, and can regulate their nervous systems instead of stuffing down hard or confusing feelings. We need adults who know they need others, that they can’t build the life they want or the world they want on their own. They aren’t just building for others, but they embrace building with others. We aren’t rugged individuals in competition finite resources, but a species whos greatest skill is cooperation to experience the abundance nature provides—and that we ARE nature.

Did you hear about this new study and the 5 Phases of the brain? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Read more

The revolution isn’t abstract. It’s personal. It’s impacting us and those we love on a day to day basis. And it requires each of us to step into our unique role.

That’s why Andrea Berg created Revolutionary — a 2-month initiation into Human Design, Astrology, and Inner Child healing.

This isn’t just a course. It’s a movement for culture-builders, visionaries, healers, and leaders who are ready to show up differently — with clarity, purpose, and a sustainable way of leading.

What you’ll receive:
✨ Live guidance with Andrea
✨ 8 teaching modules + integration practices
✨ A revolutionary community
✨ Bonuses like Cosmic Tea tickets + HD Fundamentals

Revolutionary has already had it’s first live guidance session, but it’s still not too late to join in on the journey. I’ll see you there!

Get more from Courtney in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

I recently came across a reel where a man was complaining that women “protecting their energy” and “seeking pleasure” are actually selfish and leaving relationships at the first hint of difficulty or struggle. I also saw a clip of “The View” from when Candace Cameron Bure was still on the show. Sex and relationship expert Shan Boodram was the guest and she was explaining the joys of a “pleasure-based relationship.” Cameron took immediate defense.

Then, like divine intervention, I came across a word: compersion

Compersion: (especially among polyamorous people) a feeling of happiness caused by another person's happiness, especially by seeing one's romantic or sexual partner interacting positively with another one of their partner.

Dr. Marie Thouin is a leading expert and scholar on compersion and has authored the first-ever scholarly book on the subject. She explains that while the word was first coined in 1995 by the former San Francisco-based polyamorous group called Kerista community, the concept itself is much older:

Buddhists had long considered sympathetic joy (referred to as mudita in Sanskrit) to be one of the four qualities of the enlightened person—the other three being loving kindness (metta), compassion (karuna), and equanimity (upeksha). According to this tradition, mudita remedies the illusory separateness between self and others and can therefore be a powerful vehicle on the path to liberation.

With my background in Christian ministry and biblical studies, I was immediately reminded of the Romans 5:15 where the Apostle Paul tells believers that loving others looks like, among other actions, “rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn.” Paul is not simply encouraging believers to congratulate another for their accomplishments, but to find joy in another’s joy, experience pleasure in another’s pleasure, and to receive the gift of witness another’s blessing as a blessing for oneself.

The Apostle Paul, like Buddha before him, understood that humans are interconnected beings and pleasure does not happen in a vacuum. Think of the parent watching her young child go to the playground, and that child is invited into a game of hopscotch by other children they just met. The parent’s heart swells with pleasure. Or when a grandparent gives their grandbaby a taste of ice cream for the first time. The grandparent’s cheeks will ache from the broad smile that stretches their face as the baby’s eyes sparkle with wonder and glee.

This is what real human pleasure looks like. It’s not just about what someone else can do for you (even though that is an important part of pleasure), it’s also about facilitating the desires of others and witnessing others experiencing pleasure. The reality, however, is that it’s significantly harder to enter into compersion when you’ve been deprived (or you’ve deprived yourself) of your own desires, and harder still when you have no idea what those desires are. This is why self care, protecting your energy, therapy, and the resulting radical self-awareness, self-love, self-trust are so important. When are desires are met, it’s easier to experience the equally satisfying pleasure of witnessing someone else receive what they desire.

Your capacity for compersion is also a great barometer for how full your pleasure cup is. The rules of our current society suggest that if you don’t have enough of something, the only way to get more is to take it from someone else. It doesn’t work that way. Our interconnectedness prevents us from experiencing real pleasure and fulfillment from depriving others; depravity will continue demanding more depravity until there’s nothing left for anyone.

If you’re struggling to find joy in another’s joy, than you don’t have enough joy in your life. Prentis Hemphill shares an incredible enouragement in their interview with The Embodiment Institute that can be repurposed as a gentle way seek and learn from the parts of you who know what you desire and begin to fill your cup.

I can absolutely believe it’s been three years since I’ve written a post for Substack. And it’s not just because I haven’t been able to get into my account because I sent all the emails straight to trash.

I have been going through deep transformation.

I have been practicing what I preach.

I have been, as my lover describes, opening the closets and junk drawers of my mind and seeing what parts of me I have hidden from myself.

Shame has to be one of the most powerful emotions. It is the first cousin of fear, a gateway drug to self-loathing.

For some of us, shame was taught to us as a state of being. It’s not any particular thing about our humanity, it’s the very fact of being human that ought to press our bellies against the pavement and our teeth in the dirt. It’s as if learning to walk upright was a cruel evolutionary joke.

No.

Read more

During Women’s History Month, I continue to be surprised by what I learn. Regarding activists and movement workers, women were there from the beginning—A LOT OF WOMEN. We’ve also been living with the same societal struggles fueled by supremacist delusion for generations.

In 1993, Coretta Scott King released a revised edition of her autobiography, My Life with Martin Luther King, Jr. The book featured a new foreword by King explicitly written to her new desired audience, young people:

“Struggle is a never ending process. Freedom is never really won. You earn it and win it in every generation. That is what we have not taught young people, or older ones for that matter. You do not finally win a state of freedom that is protected forever. It doesn't work that way.”

I remember reading these words for the first time and feeling a sobering relief. The thought of fighting for justice for a lifetime, just for the work to be backed against the ropes in my children’s lifetime, felt depressing. But I also felt this grounding sensation in my legs and feet. I felt Mrs. Coretta place her hands upon my shoulders, capture my eyes with her diamond gaze and gifts me the piece of wisdom makes every heartbreak she has survived worth it. The truth is the comfort and the armor. Velvet and steel. A weapon and a cape.

We are living in a pressure cooker moment in history, but it is not the first and will not be the last. Just as the forces of love and justice are always with us, so are the forces of fear and domination. The struggle is permanent. This tension is permanent. But the suffering comes primarily from the resistance to this truth. The suffering comes from the denial that the struggle is a part of our work, our calling, as a people.

It also comes from the opposite affliction. The delirium that results from trying to solve every problem and defeat every injustice. The delusion of saviorism. The mythology of “once and for all.” In 1973, Kwame Ture (nèe Stokely Carmichael) spoke to journalist Ellis Haizlip on his show SOUL! on this subject of the generational struggle for freedom:

“If all this generation, my generation can do, is to move from here to here, let's do that perfectly. Let's lay a perfect foundation so that the children who come after us will be able to carry on the struggle that much further. We're not going to win this struggle today. We're not going to win it tomorrow.

This is a struggle. This is a long struggle. We're fighting the way we're fighting a struggle that has been taking place for 500 years and even way beyond that. We're just a small part of that struggle, a very small part, and we cannot see ourselves as the most important part. What our generation is no more important than my father's generation, which is no more important than my grandfather's generation, and all these generations have struggled and raised fierce struggles.

I mean, anytime people get real smart and say, we're not going anywhere, I say, hey man, think about your grandfather. He was a slave. White boy was whooping him every day. Now look where you are. See how we're moving. Don't get upset. Let's just take our time, take our patience, understand that we have to find what our mission is.

What the mission of this generation is, and do that, and do it perfect, properly, correctly, thoroughly, and completely. And then the others are going to take care of the rest. Let's leave some for the children.”

Both King and Ture gave their entire lives to the struggle for liberation, and the wisdom they insisted we gain from their labor is that every generation will have their freedom struggle. Liberation is a lifestyle we must all learn to lead in order to both experience the personal benefit of freedom in this life and to build a foundation for the next generation’s struggle.

What I am interested in right now is learning how to develop a life-long, sustainable liberation lifestyle. I want to cultivate habits, rituals, and relationships with myself and others that build upon the foundation left for me by King, Ture and so many other freedom fighters, while preparing the land “for the children.” This lifestyle contains as much purpose as joy, as much shadow as light, and as much risk as reward. The sustainable liberation lifestyle demands that cultivate a radical self love and self trust as I live authentically and out-loud for the children to see. I want them to see my triumphs and failures so they can learn from both. I also don’t want to become a victim of the struggle, if I can help it. Sustainability means approaching my liberation journey with beauty, wellness, hope, humor, and a lot of love.

Building a sustainable liberation lifestyle is what I believe I am here to do, and what I am here to help others do, as well. The insights I have received and continue to learn are for the community as much as they are for my personal walk (I am a 4/6 profile in Human Design, after all). So stick around and lets grow together.

In community,

Good morning, Sacred Ones! I am currently on vacation in Spain on a lovely cruise. I wrote this essay a few weeks ago as I reflected on the most recent Ally Is A Verb workshop. I find it fitting as a watch the ocean pass by my window to share this essay. I use the analogy of a ship upon the water to illuminate why understanding our sacred identity contributes to our sense of groundedness and well-being.

Read more

Finally, what would you like to do?Share in the comments about the types of offerings you would enjoy!

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me about Sacred Identity®! I look forward to co-developing a generative space to tap into the magic of our identities and mine the joy of collective liberation work.

The Ally Is A Verb Workshop is just 10 DAYS AWAY!!! I will be sending out a special invitation email later today and would greatly appreciate it if you shared it with your network! Remember, Pay-What-You-Can registration is available, and folx 21 and under can attend for free!

While I feel it’s important to compensate people for their labor, I am not doing this workshop to make money. We are in a very crucial moment in our history where those with the inclination for justice must be brought into the struggle. As a coach, I have found that many white-identifying people are inclined to justice but don’t have a blueprint they feel confident about following. Ally Is A Verb is about illuminating the historical blueprint through uplifting the narratives of white-identifying allies throughout time. There is deep need for this knowledge and I am desperate to bring it to everyone who wants it!

By the way…in 2023, I want to start doing this workshop in person! If you would like me to come to your area, please let me know in the comments!

Have a wonderful August! See you soon!

However, information suppression happens on an individual level and a systemic level. Individuals who are aware of the harm of white supremacy or patriarchy (whether said individual perpetuates that harm themselves or they are observing our harmful systems) also possess the choice to accept this information, actively reject it, or passively reject it by ignoring it. These behaviors — the suppression, rejection, or ignoring of the knowledge of harm — is all about power. It is about maintaining the dominance of white men and their allies, or conversely, maintaining the underclass status of marginalized people to protect one’s position.

After the leaked draft of the US Supreme Court’s decision to reverse Roe V. Wade was released in the press, these concepts came to me. I realized several things as I grappled with what could be a generation-defining decision; most important is that we need to have a long conversation as a country about the ethics of unplanned parenthood.

Unfortunately, the Religious Right has done a great job sloganeering the phrase “planned parenthood” as a way to demonize the work of the organization of the same name. It is, however, imperative that families in the United States plan for parenthood. Americans are having children later in life primarily because it takes today’s adults much longer to feel ready to have children than previous generations. The costs of food, housing, medical care, childcare, education, and transportation are all nearly unreachable without a financial plan. Minimum wage earners have not seen an increase in their wages for decades, and women and gender-expansive people are overrepresented in these low-wage industries. Then there is the racist neglect and violence which jeopardizes the well-being of Black birthing people and their babies in the US medical system, which affects them more than any other racial group. Also, financial resources for low-income people are quickly deteriorating, as Medicaid, food stamps, subsidized childcare, and public housing have shrinking budgets and active political support. Speaking of political power, gerrymandering, voter ID laws, and voter roll purging are just some of the recent measures taken to diminish the political power of poor and marginalized people.

What, then, is the advantage to the dominant class to ignore (or accept) all of these realities to force birthing people into unplanned parenthood? It all comes down to labor. The value of a desperate, poor, undereducated labor force cannot be overstated. Forcing people into unplanned parenthood is, in this country, a near-guaranteed addition of workers into our society’s underclass. This wave of new, desperate laborers includes those that become enslaved in our prisons, forced to work sometimes dangerous jobs for impossibly low wages. Finally, consider the individuals who join the military or even commit their bodies to hazardous forms of sport and entertainment to get out of their impoverished and systemically neglected situations. In short, the children of families forced into unplanned parenthood too often become the consumable class. America’s systems use our bodies and labor as fuel.

The perpetuation of the consumable class by the consumer class (or “middle” class) and the capitalist class (or the Elites) is proof enough that the information is there regarding how America’s death-dealing systems impact marginalized people. It only makes sense, then, that the consumer and capitalist classes must choose to, at the very least, ignore this information to remain dominant. This determined, willful ignorance is not neutral but a tool of oppression.

With my whole heart, I believe that if you are reading this, you desire to be part of the solution. I also think that if you have read my essay to this point, you now perceive the realities of our oppressive society. The next step is to do the same for your community, the people you see in the real world, and online every day. They need to be reminded that the systems are currently deadly towards Black and brown people in order to be passable for them. They need to understand that we all deserve better — it is our collective birthright to be able to meet our basic human needs. They need to embody the fact that anything attempting to explain oppression, exploitation, and inequity besides white supremacy is not only false but violent.

This work of awakening your heart and then the hearts of others is slow and consistent work. As long as these systems endure, the need for awakening and re-humanizing will continue. But, I promise you that the more people engage in this work, the more empowered and creative we will become, manifesting into Dr. Rosales Meza’s beautiful concept, a “renaissance of liberation.”

What’s Happening in Sacred Identity?

The Legacy of White Allyship Workshop is BACK!

Mark Your Calendars! Ally Is A Verb: Legacy of White Allyship (formerly “Know Better Do Better”) Workshop returns August 12th and 13th! We will feature new co-conspirators and special guests. We will also provide *special swag bags* for all attendees. Use the promo code EARLYBIRD and get $25 your registration fee!

Care for yourselves this month! Sacred Identity Newsletter will be back in June!

Share Sacred Identity Newsletter

Give a gift subscription

Donate Subscriptions

Subscribe now

Taking up space is a sacred practice of reclaiming our place in the collective family of humanity. 

Colonialism is taking space. It begins with the lie that one can own space, an abundance concept with no limits. Colonialism then created the supporting lies of domination, hierarchy, and segregation. It separates people fro…

Read more