It wasn’t a meet-cute at all, I met him on social media. He’d requested me, and I added him back. (The pinnacle of romance in 2025)

I’ve never been the type to add people I don’t know, much happier with just the people I care about, but this one felt different, maybe it was fate, or maybe I was bored.

We didn’t talk for a week or so, but once we did, we clicked instantly. He was easy to talk to, he never made me feel stupid, he was so different from any other guy I’ve spoken to.

As the months passed, I felt like I could tell him anything without being scared he’d use it against me.

But I knew it wouldn’t work, because he’s 450 miles away.

Maybe 450 miles isn’t much to others but as a broke teenager with no form of transportation, it felt like another planet.

I knew it wouldn’t last he himself said “Where he’s at in his life he can’t do long distance” yet I let myself fall for him anyway.

It was safe, he was safe. My previous relationship was with a horrible man that still impacts me to this day, so it was easier to convince myself I was interested in someone hundreds of miles away, feeling like I was a real person again.

My whole like I’ve felt like I was worth less as a person if I didn’t have someone to crush and obsess over. The thought is always in the back of my head, I can’t get rid of it, so I over-romanticised someone I’d never be with, let alone meet.

I told myself it was better, it was okay because I won’t actually fall for him as nothing could ever happen, but every time we talked I fell harder and harder.

Calling all night.

iPhone 8ball.

Drunk confessions.

Paragraphs he’ll never read.

Where had the line gone? Was I falling in love?

Four months in

Would you even care if I left, would my silence be a blessing or a curse, would it be noticed at all?

You act like it doesn’t matter, but I see how you are, your pride, your pain, the words you say so casually that keep me up at night thinking of a future beyond where we are together.

But I know how it goes, I know what you think, and I know that future is just an image in my head. An image that consumes my thoughts while you don’t even think of me,

Maybe I’m too optimistic, maybe I’m just lying to myself.

Hoping for a happy ending.

I wish you’d notice, but I know you.

-

Seven months in

I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately, I got scared went you started reciprocating how I’ve been feeling so I pushed you away and tried to distance myself.

But it doesn’t feel right, I miss you, I miss so much about you, you make me happy in a way that doesn’t feel possible nor real.

I don’t deserve your kindness and I understand if the once reciprocation has faded but I would hate you to think it wasn’t anything.

I’m scared, I’ve always been scared, from the start worried that it was just a game to you, something you joked about with your friends.

And it might be, and that’s fine if it is, I just want you to be happy, if it was though I’d rather not talk as much because I can’t do another 6 months of this.

I wrote paragraphs upon paragraphs about him, paragraphs I could never send because it wasn’t fair to push my issues onto him. No matter how much I believed I could do long distance, he’d told me he couldn’t therefore, it wasn’t fair to try and ‘convince’ him.

So I pushed my feelings down, I’d rather have him as a friend than not have him at all.

To this day, ten months later, they aren’t as strong as before but still there, and I’m scared they’ll always be.

Maybe in another life.

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My whole life I’ve struggled with friendships, from a group in my youth that constantly bullied and spoke behind each other’s backs to people that I constantly feel like they are just putting up with me.

I can’t help the feeling that everyone around me actually hates me.

Putting my whole self into friendships just to be treated like a last minute thought, a second thought, the final thought.

Going out of my way to be there, both physically and mentally, no matter how tired or drained I am the second they need me I’m there.

Maybe it’s because I want them to like me, if I drop everything for them, are always there to hear them vent they will have to like me, right?

But the lingering feeling is always there, they just don’t care.

‘I think your a good person but if I have something I want to tell someone your not my first person to go to’

I knew that but it being confirmed hurt more than I could ever imagine, I try so hard to be better, to make them feel like I’m someone they can go to but nothing seems to work. In the end there’s always someone they’re closer to.

Just because they’re your best friend doesn’t mean you’re theirs.

I want to be better, to have someone that thinks of me the same way I think of them, someone I don’t have to give my whole soul and energy to without getting anything in return.

I hate that I’m complaining though, because I do have so much love in my life, I’m surrounded by people who do care, people who want the best for me but it hurts knowing my best friend don’t even like me.    

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• Turtles all the way down by John Green

• The Wave by Todd Strasser

What I wanted to watch

• Supergirl (2026)

• Leviticus (2026)

Books

The wave

This was such an interesting read, I loved seeing how easily people can be manipulated by a group mentality, even if it’s originally a good idea.

Seeing the different perspectives was really cool, I enjoyed the format as well.

I recommend this book, and I’ve heard the movie is good, so I plan on watching it soon.

Another Day

This is the second book from the series Everyday. I’ve written about Everyday before, It was a really interesting concept and I couldn’t form a solid opinion on it.

I felt the same about this book, it was the same story but from the other character, Rhiannon’s, perspective. I couldn’t help but feel bad for her, she was in such a horrible relationship with such a horrible man, and personally I believe she should have had some time to herself rather than getting with ‘A’ straight away because she barely knew herself.

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Movies

Limitless (2011) - Directed by Neil Burger

I watched this movie in my English class. We watched it after reading ‘Flowers for Algernon’ as my teacher wanted us to see how differently each character acted with the advanced intelligence and how it changed them.

A ballad of songbirds and snakes (2023) - Directed by Francis Lawrence

I love this movie so much, I’ve watched it a few times. The first time I watched it was in the theatres, and I absolutely loved it.

I decided to rewatch it for my birthday and it made my day.

Books

This book has been on my bookshelf for almost a year now, yet I haven’t read it. On a whim, I watched the movie a few weeks ago, and I loved it.

If you’ve read any of my articles, you know I like to read a book first before watching its movie adaptation, but this time I switched it up to motivate myself to finally read it.

I didn’t care too much for the romance and storyline about finding the missing billionaire, what I most enjoyed was the OCD representation. We need more OCD representation in literature, and even more, we need more representation of different types of OCD because it’s so much more than being ‘clean and organised’. I’m very excited to read this book and learn more about the characters.

I don’t know too much about this book other than it’s a social experiment that went too far. I’m looking forward to reading it and most likely psychoanalyse it.

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Movies

Supergirl (2026) - Directed by Craig Gillespie

When an unexpected and ruthless adversary strikes too close to home, Kara Zor-El, aka Supergirl, reluctantly joins forces with an unlikely companion on an epic, interstellar journey of vengeance and justice.

Leviticus (2026) - Directed by Adrian Chiarella

Two teenage boys must escape a violent entity that takes the form of the person they desire most — each other.

Wish me luck!!

No matter how much I hope and pray to find that special someone, it will never happen, I’m just too much.

I’ve tried so hard, I’m always trying, every day, just trying to stay alive, but how do you explain that to someone without them leaving?

How do you explain that you were meant to be dead 2 years ago, that you’ve passed the date you set, and now you’re stuck and unprepared? How do you explain that even when you’re happy, and everything’s going well, there’s a voice in the back of your head telling you ‘it’s going to get bad again, so why not end the pain now?’

No one wants to hear that, they don’t understand that what they saw before, the happy, overly clingy girl is a mask and behind that is just a girl who wants to be loved so badly, yet she can’t even love herself.

They always leave, it’s too much, and I don’t blame them.

I’m exhausted too, left feeling dirty because once again I shared too much with someone and once again they left.

So I say I’m done with romance, I’ll focus on myself, I’ll get better, I’ll be healthy. But I know it’s a lie because who am I if I’m not chasing after someone? I’m nothing without it. I don’t know how to describe the feeling, but I just feel worthless when I’m not in love, an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and sorrow.

Over romanticising every conversation, day dreaming about a future together, always thinking about them and hoping they are too.

It’s an indescribable high, and I can’t get enough.

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Will these feelings ever truly go away? Everyone says it will get better, but it’s been there, always in the back of your mind, for longer than it hasn’t. It’s been almost a decade now, yet you haven’t even been alive for two.

Plagued by insomnia even longer than the feelings, every night up till the sun wakes up, thinking about what life could be if you were ‘normal.’ Such a strange word, normal, conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural. Something you haven’t felt in a long time, maybe you never felt it to begin with.

A part of you always knew you were different, emotions so big, every good moment overshadowed by the knowledge that it will never last. You’re just too emotional, too unstable.

It’s not your fault, it’s your brain, it’s wired differently, you’ll tell yourself that every time you have a moment alone.

You’ve tried so hard, but will it ever be enough? You’ve heard what people say about you, maybe not you specifically, but about people like you. “People with that are just crazy!” even those like you say it.

National Library of Medicine says that during adulthood, “you will have a reduced quality of life and reduced life expectancy, you may never manage to fully participate in society.”

Your life expectancy is 20 years less than others. So what’s the point? You’re miserable now, and statistically you’ll be miserable then.

But maybe it will get better, that’s what you tell yourself as you finally fall asleep.

It will get better, there’s a 50% rate of recovery, maybe you’ll be one.

you can be better,

I can be better.

If you need help please reach out to your local hotlines, there’s so much more to life than becoming another statistics.

You are important and deserve to be happy.

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I’d read love stories, watch romantic films, listen to love songs, and it only made me want it more, to feel what others felt. They would make me happy, smiling and giggling as I watched the character pine and finally get together, but once I was left alone with my thoughts, I couldn’t help but realise how lonely I am.

I’ve heard it a million times, ‘you’ll find that special someone when you least expect it’ The more I hear it, the less I believe it.

I know it’s stupid, I’m young, I have years to fall in love, to find the person I dream of, yet I feel so incredibly unlovable. Every time I let someone get too close, show my true colours and personality, show them who I am behind the facade I’ve built for years, they leave, and I’m left feeling disgusted that I showed them the real me.

Maybe one day I’ll find it, maybe I’ll meet someone in a bookstore, or in an art class, and we’ll talk for hours about nothing at all, but for now I’ll stick to the movies.

ᯓ‎𝄞 ˎˊ˗

The way that I am by Abby Powledge

I know it’s over by Jeff Buckley

(You) on my arm by Leith Ross

Steady by Bella Kay

What’s wrong with me? by Olivia Rodrigo, Robert Smith

ᯓ‎𝄞 ˎˊ˗

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The past few months, while being hellish at times, have also been filled with so much love, and because of that, I’m grateful. It’s a reminder that even when things are hard, there will be a way out. Of course, everything that’s been causing me grief is nowhere near gone, a constant reminder in the back of my head that will never go away, but at least I’m myself again.

While I was gone, I consumed a massive amount of media, some good, some bad, but a few stood out.

Books that were turned into Movies

Project Hail Mary

Like many people I watched Project Hail Mary and fell in love with it. My first thought when leaving the theatre was ‘I must read the book’, and I’m happy to say it didn’t disappoint.

It’s such a beautiful story, the writing flows like poetry. Being able to read more about the science behind astrophage, the Hail Mary and the world they are living in was amazing.

Every character is so complex, a depth to them the movie wasn’t able to capture. Even with characters like Ava Stratt, the ‘antagonist’ there is so much more to them and their actions that I’ll never be able to form a solid opinion on them.

This isn’t a diss to the movie, though. The movie itself was so beautiful, clearly a passion project. It turned out amazing, and I can’t recommend it enough.

The Long Walk

Possibly my favourite book of the year, and definitely my favourite movie of the year. I don’t think I’ve talked about it here but I’m a massive fan of Stephen King, specifically the movie adaptation of his books, Some of his writing is not my favourite because of the outdated language and commentary on women but I can’t help but be amazed by his creativity and work ethic.

The long walk is such an incredible story and concept, on the outside it sounds so simple, 100 boy walk until there is one left, yet I was hooked.

All the characters were incredible, each and every one had a complex background and story, and I enjoyed learning about them.

I recommended watching the movie first, it was so beautiful, the cinematography, the acting, everything was so amazing. Each time I rewatched the long walk, I’d notice something new that made me love it just that much more.

If you enjoy the movie but were left wanting more, then you must read the book as well. It has double the amount of characters, some that I was honestly so heartbroken to not have in the movie, but I digress (I’m looking at you, Scramm, Mike and Joe). As well as that, you get so much more lore about the long walk itself and a deep look into the mental and psychological effects of it.

I could talk about the book for hours, but overall, if you take anything away from this watch The Long Walk.

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♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.

Music

Me vs Your Friends by The Flat Stanleys

Hanging Out To Dry by Florence Road

Downfall by Noah Kahan

MENTHOL* by Jean Dawson, Mac DeMarco

Pepper by Butthole Surfers

STOP by Bella Kay

♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.

Movies

Wildhood (2021) - Directed by Bretten Hannam

Link and his brother flee their abusive father and embark on a journey where Link discovers his sexuality and rediscovers his Mi’kmaw heritage.

This was such a beautiful movie, in all honesty, I originally watched it for Joshua Odjick but quickly fell in love with all the other characters and the story.

Bones and All (2022) - Directed by Luca Guadagnino

Abandoned by her father, a young woman embarks on a thousand-mile odyssey through the backroads of America where she meets a disenfranchised drifter.

But despite their best efforts, all roads lead back to their terrifying pasts and to a final stand that will determine whether their love can survive their otherness.

I dream of finding a love like Maren and Lee’s, they loved each other so much they accepted every flaw, every darkness, every piece of each other, bones and all.

Love Untangled (2025) - Directed by Namkoong Sun

Straighten my hair, straight to your heart!

A lovestruck teen plans to win the school heartthrob by going from curly to straight hair — until a new transfer student changes everything.

This movie is for every teenage girl with curly/wavy hair who thought the only way you could be pretty was to straighten it. I loved it so much, it made my heart ache.

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★★★★★

I will NEVER shut up about this book. It’s my favourite book in the entire world; it is truly a masterpiece.

This book changed how I write. Before reading More Than This, I normally wrote romance and angst, but after reading this, it showed me the love I have for sci-fi and post-apocalyptic themes. It was like entering a new world.

I’ve always enjoyed science, but this book just intensified that feeling. I instantly wanted to know more about the technological side of More Than This and ended up writing a report on it.

*spoilers ahead

What are the coffins, and how are the people in ‘More Than This’ alive?

The novel ‘More Than This’ follows a teenage boy named Seth Wearing who died by drowning himself and ends up waking up in a version of his childhood hometown that is now abandoned. As he spends more time in this distorted version of reality, he discovers that everything has reverted back to just before his family moved away.

Seth concludes that this must be his personal hell, but later discovers that, in actuality, humanity has instead entered an alternate, online reality to escape ecological collapse in the ‘real’ world. Seth's death was his disconnecting from the simulation. His death and disconnection force him to confront his mental health and troubles as a young gay man who was outed against his will to his whole community; he is also forced to confront the death of his younger brother, which was why his family entered the simulation during its trial stage.

While exploring the disconnected world, Seth meets other teenagers, Tomasz and Regine, who also died and were disconnected from the simulation. Together, they attempt to avoid the Driver, a machine built to maintain anomalies in the real world while humans were in the simulation, which included capturing rogue people and putting them back in the simulation. While they’re trying to avoid capture, Seth is also coming to terms with his place in the world and what the circumstances were that brought him to his eventual suicide.

In the novel ‘More Than This’, there’s a technology called Coffins. The name of this technology was given by Seth, as well as the majority of information about the technology; therefore, the reader will never know the full extent of it. The coffin's purpose is to keep people's bodies alive and functioning while their consciousness is living in an artificial world.

This article will focus on the social impact of coffins and there ability to keep people alive while they live in a parallel universe.

The article will decipher the social and economic applications of the coffins and the world manufactured by the coffins. The article will discuss the limitations that coffins present within both the real and artificial world.

The effect of coffins and virtual reality on the economy is massive. When the technology was in its trial stages, people were wary of the virtual world, unsure how it worked, but the concept was intriguing; people were curious how the technology would work, and the drawbacks if people were to connect their consciousness to a virtual reality.

The organisation that created the coffins was called The Link. The Link is brought up by a council member, so the reader can assume The Link was either created by the council or by an organisation working with the council.

Through the novel, Seth has dreams which are discovered to be memories; he had dreams from both the simulation and before. In one of these memories, a woman from the council speaks to Seth’s family. She described The Link as a second chance, “you can’t stop a human from acting like a human, of course, but compared to what we have now, it’s paradise. A paradise of second chances,”

The existence of The Link begs the question: what are the limitations?, Would the person's body disintegrate from being idle for years on end? And how ethical is The Link?

As time progresses, it is shown that The Link has become very popular, this is shown when the three go to the jail and discover it is full of coffins, each and every one containing a living, breathing person.

The technology was made for people who want a second chance. In More Than This, Seth’s parents enter The Link because of their grief. in the authentic world, Seth’s little brother was kidnapped by an escaped convict and murdered. The Wearings were unable to move past this incident and entered The Link during its trial stage so they could get their son back.

This is a large limitation, running away from the issue isn’t a way to live, it will always catch up, the longer an issue is avoided the worse it becomes. an artificial world where you can change the outcome isn’t a solution.

Especially since The Link is developed in a way so the people in the coffins have no recollection of entering The Link, they don’t ever realise they are in an artificial world, meaning they don’t have the choice to leave, which is extremely unethical.

“Lethe is a subtle process, one with amazing properties. But it has to work with what's already in you. It can’t erase memories as big and important as what’s just happened-’ ‘- but what it can do is give you an alternate outcome”

It is clear that the development of The Link had a clear purpose of a second chance world, but it becomes less of a choice. It is never specifically said, but it is implied that there was a natural disaster and ecological collapse in the real world that forced everyone into a coffin. This technology was no longer a choice but rather a requirement. People were forced into an artificial world against their will when the collapse started, and were forced to return if disconnected, even if they wanted to stay in the authentic world, they no longer had a choice.

★★★★☆

* spoilers included

This was really cute and fun to read, I finished it in 4 hours and loved it so much, their dynamic was so good and I loved that it wasn't one of those enemies to lovers where 'they always loved each other' and 'I pretend to hate you because I was scared of my feeling' and instead they truly did hate each other, but over time they realised there reasons were shallow and stupid.

It was a really cute book with some really important and powerful scenes, it was so much more than just a romance book.

I loved the fake dating trope and how they were together when they were slowly starting to realise they liked one another was so cute but frustrating because one would do something that was flirty and the other would just think 'Wow good acting' and that was the end of that scene.

I loved them so much thought and I definitely think more people should read this just check the triggers before you do.

★★★★★

I love literally all the characters in this book so much.
I have always loved the movies and decided to finally read the books and omg I loved this book so much, I love all the little details that James Dashner adds and I love how it's formatted.

I love Gally's character so much and am so upset that they didn't keep him going through the turning in the movies because it gives his character so much more depth, and more of a legitimate reason for his hatred for Thomas, I will always love him and defend Gally I don't care I'm am Gally apologist.

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I wanted to create a place where I could share my writing and thoughts on everything that interested me and hopefully find like-minded people in the process. Never did I think I’d get over 160 subscribers who read my silly rants and reviews, so this is a thank you, thank you for reading my rants, and thank you for following along!!

It's been a year of this substack, so here are some of my 5-star reviews from 2024!!

Books

I didn’t read much in 2024, nowhere near meeting my 85 books goal with only 19 books, but despite that, I found many 5 stars and favourite books in those 19.

I loved this book so much!!, ‘I hope this doesn’t find you’ was my first 5 stars of 2024.

It was so cute, Ann Liang is one of my favourite authors, I’ve yet to read a bad book from her and she writes Academic Rivals to Lovers so well (which will always be SO much better than Enemies to Lovers). I loved the protagonist so much, Sadie was such a relatable character.

If you’re a people please who dreams of telling everyone who exploits it and your kindness to fuck off and get a life, you’ll love Sadie.

The way this book was formatted and written was so fun and I loved it!!

It’s Patrick Ness of course I loved this. I read this while on a mini road trip to the beach and it was so nice.

I loved the characters so much in this book and really liked that Patrick Ness included a few paragraphs about the ‘Indie kids’ and what they were doing each chapter.

It’s Spider-Man obviously I loved it.

The artwork and comic panels in this were so beautiful, the spider man in this was Yu Onomae something I really liked about his character was he a rock climber.

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE BOOK EVER.

READ IT.

Others

live, love, MICO.

He’s such an incredible artist and I am so jealous of the people who are seeing him on tour RIGHT NOW.

I loved this album so much, so beautiful.

‘From my rotten body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity’ - Edvard Munch.

LOVED THIS MOVIE. I am a huge Jason Todd fan so watching a movie specifically about him was so fun
It was emotional, the animation was amazing, and will forever have such a special place in my heart (I need to rewatch it so badly.)

Jason Todd is such an interesting character I love love love his storyline (he deserved better) and how well he and Dick contrast each other, especially with how they were as Robin (And even more so, how the different types of training and how Bruce treated them influenced how they were as Robin and in correlation how they were as adults)

He’s my second favourite Robin and I love him so dearly.

I DON’T CARE IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS CRINGE I LOVED BLUE BEETLE.

It was so silly, I really enjoyed the plot and the characters, It made me wanna read some Blue Beetle comics as well so I may make another post about that some time!!

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Books

this book was honestly insane. I didn’t expect to like it this much and throughout this whole month the friend I read this book for and I have been talking about it nonstop.

The Main character, ‘The Underground Man,’ is insufferable in the best way. He’s such an interesting character, and I want to study his brain.

As much as I loved seeing his perspective and overall bluntness when talking I know if I knew someone like him I would absolutely hate him but reading about his self-centred, self-preservation traits is so interesting.

THATS ALL.

I’m so sorry.

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This was on my October tbr but i didn’t get to it so hopefully I’ll finish it this November.

synopsis

18-year-old Bel has lived her whole life in the shadow of her mom’s mysterious disappearance. Sixteen years ago, Rachel Price vanished and young Bel was the only witness, but she has no memory of it. Rachel is gone, long presumed dead, and Bel wishes everyone would just move on.

But the case is dragged up from the past when the Price family agree to a true crime documentary. Bel can’t wait for filming to end, for life to go back to normal. And then the impossible happens. Rachel Price reappears, and life will never be normal again.

Rachel has an unbelievable story about what happened to her. Unbelievable, because Bel isn’t sure it’s real. If Rachel is lying, then where has she been all this time? And – could she be dangerous? With the cameras still rolling, Bel must uncover the truth about her mother, and find out why Rachel Price really came back from the dead . . .

I’m currently in the middle of this book and it’s so good I can’t wait to finish it!!

synopsis

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway—a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them, this is a game in which only one can be left standing, and the circus is but the stage for a remarkable battle of imagination and will. Despite themselves, however, Celia and Marco tumble headfirst into love—a deep, magical love that makes the lights flicker and the room grow warm whenever they so much as brush hands.

True love or not, the game must play out, and the fates of everyone involved, from the cast of extraordinary circus performers to the patrons, hang in the balance, suspended as precariously as the daring acrobats overhead.

synopsis

On a cold Sunday evening in early 1957, Sarah Dewhurst waited with her father in the parking lot of the Chevron gas station for the dragon he’d hired to help on the farm…
Sarah Dewhurst and her father, outcasts in their little town of Frome, Washington, are forced to hire a dragon to work their farm, something only the poorest of the poor ever have to resort to.
The dragon, Kazimir, has more to him than meets the eye, though. Sarah can’t help but be curious about him, an animal who supposedly doesn’t have a soul, but who is seemingly intent on keeping her safe.
Because the dragon knows something she doesn’t. He has arrived at the farm with a prophecy on his mind. A prophecy that involves a deadly assassin, a cult of dragon worshippers, two FBI agents in hot pursuit—and somehow, Sarah Dewhurst herself.

One of my best friends had been recommending this book for a while so I’m going to read it and surprise her, I’m around 50 pages in and it’s so good so far!

synopsis

Dostoevsky’s most revolutionary novel, Notes from Underground marks the dividing line between nineteenth- and twentieth-century fiction, and between the visions of self each century embodied. One of the most remarkable characters in literature, the unnamed narrator is a former official who has defiantly withdrawn into an underground existence. In complete retreat from society, he scrawls a passionate, obsessive, self-contradictory narrative that serves as a devastating attack on social utopianism and an assertion of man’s essentially irrational nature.

I'm aware 4 books is quite ambush as I've been in a reading slump for a while so my main goal is 'The Night Circus' and 'Note from Underground' if I finish those I'll be happy.

Movies

I don’t really have any movie preferences this month, I’m planning on watching whatever I like and I’ll update y’all in part 2!!

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love ya xx

It only happens in the movies by Holly Bourne

The reappearance of Rachel Price by Holly Jackson

What I Wanted To Watch

The Nightmare Before Christmas

The Truman Show

like always these reviews may contain spoilers

What I Read

★★★☆☆

I finished this book near the start of the month and it was honestly really good, I gave it 3 out of 5 stars on Goodreads and I have so many opinions.

I think that Audrey and Harry’s relationship was really cute, mainly when they were in the cinema and Harry was safe being himself without pressure from others.

TW - talk about SA skip over this if you don’t want to read that (spoilers as well)

the fact that Audrey kept saying Harry cheated on her at the end really pissed me off and frankly just wasn’t true at all.

Like honestly what the fuck, Harry was sexually assaulted, he was drunk, stoned and said he couldn’t remember anything about that night because he was so intoxicated and out of it.

Harry didn’t consent, he was raped, HE DIDN’T CHEAT.

I won’t be rating this book as I’m still in the middle of it, but so far it’s amazing and I can’t wait to finish it.

What I Watched

I watched so many movies this month, and I'm so happy about it.

★★★☆☆

I hate to say this but this movie was extremely underwhelming, going into this I had high expectations because of all the love and praise this movie has got.

But unfortunately, it didn’t do it for me, don’t get me wrong it was a good movie, I loved the concept but not so much the execution.

★★★★☆

I watched this because of a short clip on tik tok and to be honest it was worth it.

★★★★★

I absolutely loved this movie, when looking at reviews after watching it I was honestly so shocked, it’s given an average 3-star rating on letterboxes.

it was such a silly movie, my best advice when watching it is don’t take it too seriously and you’ll have a good time, it made me laugh so much it was so silly but also made me cry which I wasn’t expecting.

It was just soo good.

If you don’t already know from my profile pic and previous posts I’m a huge DC fan, I’m truly obsessed with it and all the characters, I purely watched Blue Beetle fully because it’s Tim Drake’s (my fav Robin) favourite superhero but honestly, it was so worth it, I loved it.

I don’t know how many times I have to say it but I loved it so much go watch it already!!

★★★★☆

INSANE but so good.

★★★★☆

If your tik tok has been anything like mine lately this movie and the song from it has been ALL over my fyp.

I think it was appropriately hyped it was actually a really sweet relationship and the song was soo good.

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I’ve loved Halloween since I was younger, it’s always been my favourite holiday so what better way to bring back ‘anticipated reviews’ than with the best month!!

Books

Before you say anything I’m aware that this book isn’t scary or spooky, which is this month's theme, but I’m currently in the middle of this book and decided to add it.

synopsis

Bad boys turned good, kisses in the rain, climbing through bedroom windows... It only happens in the movies.

When Audrey meets Harry, it’s the start of a truly cinematic romance – or is it? Audrey knows that Harry is every movie cliché rolled into one.

But she still chooses to let him into her heart

Now onto the theme (I just searched my Goodreads to see what I already have)

This book is the only Holly Jackson book I haven’t read so it’s only fitting I read it now.

synopsis

18-year-old Bel has lived her whole life in the shadow of her mom’s mysterious disappearance. Sixteen years ago, Rachel Price vanished and young Bel was the only witness, but she has no memory of it. Rachel is gone, long presumed dead, and Bel wishes everyone would just move on.

But the case is dragged up from the past when the Price family agree to a true crime documentary. Bel can’t wait for filming to end, for life to go back to normal. And then the impossible happens. Rachel Price reappears, and life will never be normal again.

Rachel has an unbelievable story about what happened to her. Unbelievable, because Bel isn’t sure it’s real. If Rachel is lying, then where has she been all this time? And – could she be dangerous? With the cameras still rolling, Bel must uncover the truth about her mother, and find out why Rachel Price really came back from the dead . . .

Movies

It feels only far to rewatch this movie during October and December, (even though it def a Halloween movie)

synopsis

Enter an extraordinary world filled with magic and wonder, where every holiday has its own special land. This is the heartfelt tale of Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town and all things that go bump in the night.

psychological horror

synopsis

Every second of every day, from the moment he was born, for the last thirty years, Truman Burbank has been the unwitting star of the longest running, most popular documentary-soap opera in history. The picture-perfect town of Seahaven that he calls home is actually a gigantic soundstage. Truman’s friends and family - everyone he meets, in fact - are actors. He lives every moment under the unblinking gaze of thousands of hidden TV cameras.

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Thanks for reading!!

(wish me luck)

Like many people my age (or really just anyone) I feel stuck, I don’t know what to do with my life and if I’m being honest it’s a horrible feeling.

Ever since I was young I never had a clear idea of what I wanted to do, it was constantly changing yet the one thing that stayed the same was every dream job I had was in the realm of creativity.

From wanting to be a fashion designer to an author and artist, it’s hard, it feels unattainable and I hate it.

I hate most of all that I know how hard it is to survive as an artist and author (freelancer)

yet there is nothing else I’d rather do. (and really nothing else that interested me)

-

Right now my plan is just to try, take one day at a time.

Anyway enough of that here are some music recs

1. Cassie by Mariae Cassandra

2. Drywall by Paris Paloma

3. Perfume by Del Water Gap

4. American Teenager by Ethel Cain

5. Wolves Without Teeth by Of Monsters and Men

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what I WANTED to read

The Red Pyramid - Rick Riordan

Not here to be liked - Michelle Quach

what I DID read

Lord of the Files - William Golding

I have wanted to read this book for so long and was able to get my teacher to let me use it in an assignment so I could finally read it.

I liked it but it honestly really confused me, it was probably because I read while not having slept in almost 24 hours and zoning out mid-page, so I’ll definitely reread soon (not just for school but for fun cos pretty good tho)

ok but I literally didn’t read anything else, I have another 700 - 800 page book to read for school so that is taking up my time as well as the reading slump I’m STILL in.

what I WANTED to watch

Kiki's Delivery Service

Madame Web

When You Finish Saving the World

what I DID watch

Kiki's Delivery Service

I was watching this when I was writing part one of ‘anticipated reviews’ and really liked it, I knew I would since I have loved every studio ghibli movie I’ve watched so far.

so cute, Jiji is an icon.

Ride the Cyclone

This is my favourite thing in the whole world, I love this musical so much and this is my like 5th time rewatching this month.

I will be writing separate posts on the character or just the musical in general so I won’t go into too much detail but I love it so much.

I really recommend this musical and think if you like star kids (amazing musical btw) you’ll love this.

I didn’t watch many movies this month rather catching up on a few series, I still think I’ll watch the others just when I have time because I’m actually so excited to watch ‘When You Finish Saving the World.’

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*contains spoilers

Romance, Young Adult, LGBT, Contemporary, Queer

This was really cute and fun to read, I finished it in 4 hours and loved it so much, their dynamic was so good and I loved that it wasn't one of those enemies to lovers where 'they always loved each other' and 'I pretend to hate you because I was scared of my feeling' and instead they actually did hate each other, but I feel like over time they realised there reasons were a bit shallow and stupid.
It was a really cute book with some really important and powerful scenes, it was so much more than just a romance book.
I also loved the fake dating trope and how they were together when they were slowly starting to realise they liked one another was so cute but frustrating because one of them would lowkey flirty with the other but instead of realising they might be flirting for real they’re just like 'Wow good acting my dude'
I loved them so much thought and I definitely think more people should read this it’s so cute.

Mystery, Thriller, Young Adult, Mystery Thriller, Fiction

I loved this book so much, I finished it in 4 hours and I loved the character and plot, my only problem was the fact that it was in the span of 8 hours which can make it seem a little rushed when introducing facts important to the plot, I think this could of been a good duology with the second book having more detail on what happened to everyone after everything happened and all the secrets came out.

This was the first Holly Jackson book I read and I ended up loving her writing so much I read the whole ‘good girls guide to murder’ series, I really recommend her when you need something thrilling but isn’t to difficult to read.

I hated Oliver so much very happy he died, that man needed to go the whole time I was praying for him to die. Holly Jackson write irritating, shitty men so well.

I LOVE THIS BOOK,

I love them so much and I loved the movie so much too.

I finished the book when I was in the car and I was so close to sobbing,

Poe was definitely one of my favourite characters and even though I knew he died because I watched the movie I still sobbed when he did.

This was written so well thought I couldn’t put it down, I loved the two’s relationship, it gave such doomed by the narrative.

I also loved how informative this book was, I love it when books or movies cover important causes because it informs the reader and sheds more light on it.

Music

Five Seconds Flat is such an amazing album, it’s by Lizzy McAlpine.

I love Lizzy’s music so much, it’s incredibly well written and has been all I listen to when in class.

Reckless driving >>>

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In truth I’ve been in the middle for this book for a while, I hope to finally finish it and the series this month since I really do enjoy it.

The Red Pyramid is a 2010 fantasy-adventure novel based on Egyptian mythology written by Rick Riordan. It is the first novel in The Kane Chronicles series.

The book follows the Kane siblings, Carter and Sadie, as they discover they are descended from both the pharaohs and magicians of ancient Egypt. As a result, they are able to both host gods and wield magic. The duo unknowingly hosts the Egyptian gods Horus and Isis, while their father is taken as a host by Osiris who is captured by Set. They are thrown into an adventure to rescue their father, while simultaneously trying to save the world from destruction. The novel is written as though it is a transcription of an audio recording by siblings Carter and Sadie Kane, alternately narrated in first-person by the siblings.

Eliza Quan is the perfect candidate for editor in chief of her school paper. That is, until ex-jock Len DiMartile decides on a whim to run against her. Suddenly her vast qualifications mean squat because inexperienced Len—who is tall, handsome, and male—just seems more like a leader.
When Eliza’s frustration spills out in a viral essay, she finds herself inspiring a feminist movement she never meant to start, caught between those who believe she’s a gender equality champion and others who think she’s simply crying misogyny.
Amid this growing tension, the school asks Eliza and Len to work side by side to demonstrate civility. But as they get to know one another, Eliza feels increasingly trapped by a horrifying realization—she just might be falling for the face of the patriarchy himself.

I found this book when looking for academic rivals to lovers (one of my favourite tropes) so I think i’ll enjoy it.

Movies

Kiki's Delivery Service is a 1989 Japanese animated fantasy film written, produced, and directed by Hayao Miyazaki, based on the 1985 novel of the same name by Eiko Kadono. It was animated by Studio Ghibli for Tokuma Shoten, Yamato Transport and the Nippon Television Network, and stars the voices of Minami Takayama, Rei Sakuma and Kappei Yamaguchi. The story follows Kiki, a young witch who moves to the port city of Koriko with her cat Jiji and starts a flying courier service.

I really think I’ll enjoy this movie because I’ve loved every Studio Ghibli movie I’ve watched so fair.

HER WEB CONNECTS THEM ALL.

Forced to confront revelations about her past, paramedic Cassandra Webb forges a relationship with three young women destined for powerful futures…if they can all survive a deadly present.

I don’t think i’m going to like this since everyone I know whose watched it hasn’t but I still want to watch it because I love Isabela Merced who plays Anya Corazon.

This this the last movie I want to watch,

Evelyn and her oblivious son Ziggy seek out replacements for each other. As Evelyn tries to parent an unassuming teenager at her shelter, Ziggy fumbles through his pursuit of a brilliant young woman at school.

I love Finn Wolfhard (and the whole ‘it’ cast) so I thought I should watch this.

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OH MY GOD, the last few chapters omg.
You don't even know how happy I was when the 2.0’s showed up (the 2.0's were my favourites and made my rating a bit higher for this book I loved Tank so much and Adam being a little shit cos he knows he's hot gave me life), I was actually laughing out loud at some part, but there was also some ick that I could have done without, Moses and Alix's relationship was very Stockholm syndrome and I'm sorry but I couldn't get over the fact that 1. the author wrote about her pissing in the cage and 2. that the guy was still into her after realising she did that like ok pookie you do you.

(ALSO WHY HAVE NONE OF THE REVIEWS I'VE READ MENTIONED THIS, WAS THE BOOK I HAD JUST A WEIRD VERSION AND EVERYONE ELSE WAS BLESSED NOT TO HAVE TO READ THAT.)

Honestly, I wasn't a big fan of Alix either and just kind of tolerated some of the dumb shit she did (if she just put the USB in the computer like she was told to, boom the extra 100 pages gone, also the fact that Tank could of die cos she was a dumbass, no way I'd forgive her if Tank died.)
The 2.0's povs were my favourites but I enjoyed Alix's pov more when Jonah was there, he gave me so much life, he was amazing and I was so upset that she left without him, she should have taken him with her not leave him with the shitty dad. Jonah was one of the best characters.
Overall I know I did hate on this book a lot but it was still a decent read, it was entertaining and very fast-paced with good parts that shocked me and made me enjoy the book just a bit more. I did really like the concept I think it just could have been done differently and I would have loved it. e.g. no romance it just felt very forced and the story still could have worked (the whole arc of her trying to find them again) without them being in love as well.
If you couldn't tell I just really didn't like the romance in this, it wasn't cute or anything like that it was forced and weird because let's be honest I don't know anyone who would fall in love with someone who stalked and then kidnapped them, THATS NOT ROMANTIC ITS CREEPY (to me at least if that your thing go off girly.

Don't get me wrong I have loved books from both Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli but this series just didn't do it for me.

The series as a whole wasn’t bad but there were just parts that ruined it for me

my problem with it was it gave me such a cheating trope vibe the whole time for both books (WHICH I DESPISE) I was terrified in the first book that Ben was going to cheat on Arthur with his ex that he was still hung up on and in the second book I was terrified Arthur and Ben would cheat on their at the time partners with each other, which sadly in a way they did (Arthur and Ben) not physically cheating because if they did I would of DNF this series but rather it was emotional cheating.

the main characters, Arthur and Ben meet one day in a New York City post office and end up dating for a little bit before breaking up because Arthur had to go back home to Georgia and long distance wasn’t working for them. then a year or two later Arthur is back in New York and they meet up again while they are both in either relationships or almost relationships and they begin to fall for each other, this would have been fine if after realising they ending whatever relationships they had instead of leading on people who didn’t deserve that.

It was a very cute concept with the meet cute and then second chance romance but the other guys shouldn’t of been there, those guys’ only purpose was to delay them getting back together to make the story longer and more complicated.

the only other reason I liked this series was Ben’s best friend Dylan and his girlfriend Samantha, I Honestly loved them together and really want a book just for them, honestly, Dylan and Samantha were one of the only reasons I kept reading and their whole relationship throughout both books was so sweet and their end made me happy cry.

‘sunsets are proof that endings can often be beautiful too’ - Beau Taplin

It's a good movie I really did like it and think that it’s just such a vibe, like Cher’s such an icon and I love her style but I can't get over the fact she fell for and ended up dating (maybe?) her ex step brother, like yes I know they are not actually related but no I hate it and it grosses me out, once someone is given a title of family even if not blood related it makes all romance GONE, the movie was so good before that arc and it wasn’t needed like are you serious Cher doesn’t want to date anyone until her (ex) STEPBROTHER moves back in and then she falls for him and even worse an 19 - 22 year old a man, (idk his exacted age but that’s the age range I found when searching) an adult in collage dates a 14 to 15 year old girl in HIGHSCHOOL, Cher was a child while Josh (the ex step brother) was an adult, Cher was a girl who like most girl gets a crush on somebody older in there life, like a girl getting a crush their older brother best friend this is something that just tends to happen to girls (or at least younger me with my brother friends) but nothing every happens with that, it’s just a crush, Cher had a crush on a older guy who should of set bounders with her since she is a child.

overall Josh is a creep, date someone your own age loser x

if you’ve read or watched any of this please comment your opinions on them, I’d love to read other opinions on these.

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Share Liddyy’s Recs

tasy, Magical Realism, Young Adult, Contemporary

This book is absolutely amazing and I always recommend this book when asked for something that is entertaining, and magical, with such a good romance.

I FLEW through this book and am in the process of rereading it which has made my love for it has only grow.

The romance doesn’t feel forced at all and is one of my favourite tropes; academic rivals to lovers, but it’s not only a romance book it’s go a fantasy aspect too, in my opinion, it’s the perfect amount of fantasy and realism which is something I love when I just want to relax and not have to use my brain.

I will always recommend this book, it’s written so well and the main character is so relatable (for me at least) so many times I was wondering if Ann Liang had stolen my journal and turned it into an incredible novel.

Paranormal, Fantasy, Young Adult, Magical Realism, Science Fiction, Romance

My opinion might be a bit controversial because I know this book is definitely not for everyone, it covers some important topics and shows how obsessive people can become as well as toxic relationships.

in no way am I supporting and excusing toxic relationships and the behaviour of the main character, rather I enjoyed this book because it explored those topics but you could tell (or at least I could) that the author and at times the main character knew what was happening was wrong and instead of them trying to water it down and make it seem okay the reader was shown raw and borderline stalker behaviour.

to me it wasn’t glorifying these topics but rather sharing light on things that happen in the real world (quite a lot too), it’s important to have some form of exposure to toxic relationships, toxic people and obsessives behaviour because it can help show what to look out for and avoid, but of course only read what you want, if you just want to read happy stories that’s fine, reading is different for everyone just do what makes you happy

I loved how different each person was and how the book explored so many different topics, this book has such a good story concept as well, with the main character being in a different body every day and I will definitely continue this series.

Young Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Mental Health, Realistic Fiction, Mental Illness

OMG, I loved this book so much. I can't say everything I want to about this book because it would be too long so I’ll just say a little.

When I first got into reading in early 2023 I read ‘All the Bright Places’ and instantly fell in love, I’d been obsessed with the movie for a while and ended up borrowing the book from my school library because my English class had required reading, I vividly remember just picking it up because I like the movie in like 2020 and the cover looked nice and still to this day it’s one of my favourites, I instantly fell in love with the first few chapter and bought my own copy as soon as possible.

I love Finch so much, his chapters were definitely my favourite and I enjoyed how the whole book was written.

still to this day I think about it and I think I’ll have to reread it soon.

DC Comics, Young Adult, Superheroes, Adventure, Graphic Novels, Action, Survival

I love comics so much and have been really into DC and their comics, ‘Green Arrow Stranded’ is such a good comic, the whole time reading it I was in awe and it made me want to learn about his character and read more of his comics (and watch any movies/shows)

The art style in this comic is gorgeous I was in awe the whole time (I’m always in awe when reading tbh) This comic really reminded me of a more simplified version of Hatchet which is a book I read in middle school and loved.

I recommend this comic to everyone even if you don’t know anything about DC because it’s so easy to understand.

I liked it, it had a really good concept and plot but I personally found it hard to get into, it may have been because I read it during a reading slump.

Even though it confused me a bit I still recommend it and my try to reread it sometime this year.

*spoilers in the next paragraph

A few things I wish I saw in this book were more done with the tapes and I wish the two's stories intercepted more because it seemed more like two stories about two random people (that interacted maybe once or twice) rather than a story about a father and daughter and how their lives are different yet the same when there were the same age.

Read a thousand books and your words will flow like a river - Virginia Woolf

rather than a large description for the last 2 books you get songs that remind me of those books.

The hunger games - Suzanne Collins

• not strong enough - boy genius

• Doomsday - Lizzy McAlpine

• In the woods somewhere - Hozier

• Waiting room - Phoebe Bridgers

The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt

I’m currently in the middle of reading ‘The Goldfinch’ but omg I’m obsessed it’s so amazing and written so beautifully, when I finish this I’ll post a full review but for now I’m posting my favourite song from the playlist someone made for reading the goldfinch.

• Theo Decker - Victory Kicks

• Everybody wants to rule the world - Tear for Fears

• Francis Forever - Mitski

• Resale - The Aubreys

Music - current favs and honourable mentions

Everything Everywhere by Noah Kahan with Gracie Abram

A kiss by THE DRIVER ERA

Sunday Morning by No Doubt

Jackie and Wilson by Hozier

Album of the week!

this album is amazing and was realised today (14/2) so it fits to be the album of the week, I’ve been obsessed with EPIC for a while, the music is just so amazing and Jorge’s writing is exquisite I can’t describe how much I love it.

EPIC is a musical retelling of the Odyssey by Homer. I really recommend listening to all the albums (it’s still in the works but still worth listening to) even if you don’t know anything about Odysseus and don’t plan on reading the Odyssey because as far as I can tell (haven’t read it yet) it’s still understandable and the songs go hard.

listening and loving EPIC now just gives me even more of a reason to read the Iliad and Odyssey since I’ve been putting it off for sooo long.