Happy September 1st!

Yesterday I was in the biggest funk. I’m mid divorce but also career pivoting into Reiki and life coaching and yesterday the world felt a little heavy around me. The financial pressures, the pressure, single parenting all weekend all whilst being due on quite frankly got to me - and that’s okay. I accepted it and I allowed myself to feel it.

I did what usually works for me which was switch off, have a long bath and turn inward. I also had my friend over for reiki and we had a lovely dinner and I had an early night and journaled.

And today? I feel SO much better. My cycle started overnight which to me always holds spiritual significance. What a lovely ‘coincidence’ it started on the 1st of a brand new month too. Cough Cough there are no coincidences!

I also woke up to a new coaching call that was booked over night. A sign that my life, is indeed, going in the right direction.

So it made me think how I can pour all of this lovely energy I’m feeling into the world and my community on Instagram and Substack. So here’s my challenge to you - the person in the thick of rebuilding from separation, divorce or betrayal who might feel stuck or low right now.

Subscribe now

For the whole of September, I want us to reclaim a little bit of ourselves every single day.

Not reinvent ourselves or ‘fix’ ourselves. And definitely not pretend we’re suddenly fine. Just little things that make us feel more grounded, more connected to ourselves and slowly, a little more excited about life again.

Your home. Your energy. Your self-worth. Your identity. Your future.

30 tiny challenges. One month. No pressure to do every single one.

Just come as you are and see what changes. So let’s go!

WEEK 1 - Your space
Make your home feel like somewhere you actually want to be.

Things like:

• Clear one area that’s been irritating you

• Change your bedding

• Buy yourself some flowers

• Have a candle/bath/early night

• Get rid of something that belongs to your old life

• Create one little corner that’s completely yours

• Sunday reset your space

Your home is literally your sanctuary. It’s where you need to feel safe, warm and comforted during this heavy chapter of your life. Change your surroundings, you change your energy.

WEEK 2 - Your energy
What is draining you that doesn’t need to?

Tiny challenges:

• One thing you say no to

• One boundary

• Unfollow/mute something that makes you feel shit

• Spend an hour without your phone

• Go outside alone

• Do something that makes you laugh

• Have a proper slow morning/evening guilt free

• Ask yourself “What do I actually need today?”

Turning inward allows you to really come back to yourself and identify what it is you need to move forward.

WEEK 3 - You
Start rebuilding the relationship with yourself.

Write down 3 things you like about yourself that have absolutely nothing to do with being a mum/wife/partner.

Do something you’re proud of yourself for.

Wear something that makes you feel good, sexy, empowered

Write down something you’ve survived that you never thought you would.

Ask “Who was I before I started making myself smaller?”

Do something completely alone that you would normally wait for someone else to do.

Write yourself a letter from the woman you are becoming.

WEEK 4 - Your life again

This is my favourite bit.

What do you actually want now?

• Make one plan you’re genuinely excited about

• Try something new

• Write down 5 things you’d love to do in the next year

• Book something you’ve been putting off

• Spend an hour imagining your life with no consideration of what anyone else wants

• Say yes to something that excites you

• Write: “If I stopped being scared of starting again, I would…”

• Choose one thing to carry forward into October

And at the end of the month sit and reflect…

What has changed in you this month?

And that’s it! No 5am starts or outrageous tasks or challenges. Just small, achievable actions and changes to make your world feel yours again.

Separation and divorce are incredibly hard to navigate. And betrayal trauma adds another deep, painful layer to it too. But one of my motto’s is nothing changes if nothing changes. So let’s change something together.

If you take part in this I would love to know!

Subscribe now

We have a 2-2-3 arrangement and for the most part it works well for us. Backstory - our boys are 2 and 1 years old. Yes very young. And we separated last August due to my ex’s betrayal.

Anyway I started noticing a little change in my eldest.

Read more

If this is your weekend with an empty house I wanted to write to you.

I know how strange these weekends can feel. They can be both a gift and something you dread all at once. One minute you can’t wait for a bit of peace. The next you’re sat in the silence wondering what your children are doing, whether they’re okay and wishing you could just give them one more cuddle before bed. At times I know how empty it feels and it’s something nobody really prepares you for.

People talk about co-parenting schedules and splitting weekends as though it’s just another practical arrangement to get used to. They don’t tell you about the drive home after you’ve dropped them off. Or the quiet house that somehow feels louder than it ever did before. Or the (ridiculous) guilt that creeps in the second you start enjoying yourself because a part of you wonders how could you possibly enjoy time without them and that then makes you a bad mother(!? - see how ridiculous this sounds).

But I’ve had those weekends too.

Weekends where I wandered around the house with no real idea what to do with myself. Laps around the kitchen looking for something to do. Weekends where I kept thinking I should be making the most of the time but ended up doing very little because my heart just wasn’t in it back then.

For a long time I thought I needed to fill every spare minute. I’d make plans, keep busy and try to outrun that quiet void because sitting with it felt just a bit too much.

But then it got easier the more I leant into it.

The goal was never to become someone who loved being away from her children. The goal was to become someone who could still enjoy her own life while they weren’t with her. Because I, and you, are still humans living life for the first time. And as we all know, life can suddenly end. Sorry to be morbid, but it can.

There’s a really important difference.

Loving your child-free weekend doesn’t mean you love your children any less. It doesn’t mean you’ve stopped missing them or that you’ve accepted this is how you always wanted life to be. It simply means you’re allowing yourself to live instead of waiting for life to begin again when they come home. This took me a long time to understand. I’m now a year on and I still miss my boys. I always will. But I’ve stopped believing that every child-free weekend has to feel heavy to prove how much I love them. See where I’m going with this?

So now, sometimes I go for a long walk with the dogs if I have them. Sometimes I’ll read a book or watch something in bed with a coffee and have a much needed, lazy morning. Sometimes I’ll catch up with friends and have one too many wines because they’re the real soul mates in life, am I right? Sometimes I’ll do absolutely nothing at all and actually enjoy the rest. I do what my body and mind tells me to do. I listen to my thoughts then I act. All you need to do is listen.

NONE of those things make me a less devoted mum. If anything I think they make me a better one because my boys deserve a mum who knows how to look after herself too. Who prioritises her rest, her wellbeing and to be quite frank, her happiness when it comes to HER one life.

It always comes down to remembering what can you control? What can’t you control? You can’t control your kids being away at their dads. You can control how you spend this time. It’s okay to sit with the silence for a while. Allow yourself to be sad. Name it out loud. But then do something for you.

So if you’re spending another child-free weekend alone and you’re feeling that familiar ache please don’t put pressure on yourself to ‘make the most of it.’

You don’t have to reinvent your life by Monday morning. You don’t even have to heal this weekend. You don’t have to prove how strong you are.

Just let this weekend be whatever you need it to be.

Maybe that’s a walk. Maybe it’s a nap. Maybe it’s crying in the bath. Maybe it’s laughing with a friend over a wine. Whatever it is just let it be enough. And if you find yourself smiling for a moment don’t bloody ruin it with guilt.

Your children don’t need a mother who spends every moment they’re away feeling miserable. They need a mother who’s slowly finding her way back to herself and lives a fulfilled life - 24/7, not just 50% of the time.

I promise you that’s something they’ll benefit from for the rest of their lives.

Love,

Laura-May

Happy Monday!

I hope you had a lovely, restful weekend, whatever you got up to.

Last week I shared that I took my two little boys (1 and 2) swimming... with their dad.

It’s something I’ve wanted to write about because co-parenting after betrayal is a topic we don’t talk about enough.

Before I get into it, I want to acknowledge that every co-parenting relationship is different. Especially when infidelity has been involved.

This isn’t me saying everyone should be able to do this. Some people are at the beginning of their separation. Some are dealing with ongoing conflict. Some simply aren’t in a position where this would be healthy or possible.

There’s no right timeline and there certainly isn’t one right way to co-parent.

I’m sharing this because I think it’s important that we also talk about what’s possible when the time is right. Not to make anyone feel behind, but to offer another perspective.

So... why did we go swimming?

Our boys are one and two, which means taking them swimming alone just isn’t realistic. They both need constant supervision and my eldest, Maddox, isn’t particularly confident in deeper water yet, so it’s something we’ve been wanting to do more regularly.

I’ll also be completely honest...

I find solo parenting all weekend exhausting.

They’re at ages where someone always needs something. Snacks are a full-time job, someone is usually climbing on the furniture and between teething, toddler emotions and keeping them alive, it can sometimes feel beyond relentless.

So if there’s genuine help available for something like this, I’m not too proud to accept it.

It was actually my ex who suggested we go. We’ve always said that regardless of how our marriage ended, we’d try to put the boys first wherever we could.

For context, we separated last August after discovering his affair and it has taken me until now to get to a place where spending time together like this doesn’t send my nervous system into overdrive. I’m in a place where the pain of what happened no longer rules my life - far from it. I have very much adopted the”let go of what was, embrace what is and look forward to what will be” mentality. This has not come easy but I have got there.

What I haven’t mentioned yet is that we didn’t just go swimming but decided to take the boys for something to eat as it was 5.30pm. And of course, we ate ourselves. So an hour together turned into an afternoon.

Up until now, I’ve just told you what we did. But that’s not really why I wanted to write this.

What I actually want to talk about is how it felt, and that’s something that’s far too personal for Instagram or for the whole internet to read. I also have to be mindful that my openness doesn’t just affect me. Another person is involved too and I want to be respectful of that.

So if you’re navigating co-parenting after betrayal or you’re simply curious about what this stage of healing can actually look like, this next part is for you.

Below, I share the thoughts I had before we got there, the moments that caught me off guard, why we ended up going for food afterwards and the one realisation I had on the drive home that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

Read more

Good morning! I got home from a week away with the boys last week and if I’m honest I think I’m only just beginning to recover.

I’d been SO looking forward to this holiday for months as it was my first holiday this year with my boys - we did have a family one planned back in May but of course, we separated last year.. Anyway, this holiday was for a family wedding, another holiday we’d originally planned to go as a family before our lives changed dramatically. It was also back to the country where we married in 2020. Yep - lot’s of emotions!

There was a tiny part of me that wondered whether it would feel bittersweet or weird or hard, but it didn’t in the way I expected. Instead it actually felt liberating. Full of laughter, full of chaos and full of moments that reminded me how quickly these boys of mine are growing up. Cue the tears.

BUT - It was also completely exhausting.

Not because I was doing it all alone. I was incredibly lucky that my sister was nothing short of amazing. She became a second mum to the boys all week, jumping in without hesitation and making everything feel that little bit lighter. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her. Leisha I LOVE YOU.

The exhaustion came from something every parent of toddlers will understand. Two little boys under three don’t exactly switch into “holiday mode”. They still wake between 6.30am - 7am (no complaints!), they still need entertaining, they rarely sit still at meal times and still decide the best place for a nap is a moving pram being pushed around for miles in the heat. Miles.

Parenting doesn’t stop because the scenery changes.

If anything it becomes even more full on.

Despite all of that, I wouldn’t change a thing. Watching them experience somewhere new, seeing the excitement on their faces and making memories with my family made every tired moment worth it. It was one of those weeks I’ll look back on for years to come and we had such gorgeous photos I’m able to print and frame forever.

And then we got home.

Have you ever noticed how holidays seem to create this strange emotional whiplash?

You unpack the suitcases, put the washing machine on for what feels like the tenth time, open your laptop and suddenly your brain is back in reality. For me, that’s when the overthinking started creeping in.

I found myself lying awake thinking about money, work and the future. Wondering whether I’d always be able to provide for the boys. Wondering whether I’d made the right decisions. Wondering what the next few years would look like. Full blown spiral mode.

It’s funny how quickly your mind can go from making beautiful memories to imagining worst-case scenarios.

A year ago those thoughts would’ve completely consumed me. I would’ve sat with them for days, convincing myself they were facts rather than fears.

This time was different.

The thoughts still came but I recognised them for what they were: a wobble. Not a sign that I’d gone backwards. Not proof that I wasn’t healing. Just a reminder that I’m human and bad days are NORMAL.

I think that’s one of the biggest misconceptions about healing after divorce. We somehow expect ourselves to reach a point where we never feel anxious, never have a bad day and never question anything again.

That isn’t what healing has looked like for me.

Healing has looked like learning what to do when those days inevitably arrive.

For me, it’s the basics. The things I used to dismiss because they sounded too simple. Going to the gym even when I don’t feel like it. Eating proper meals instead of surviving on convenience. Getting outside. Journalling instead of letting every thought bounce around my head. Calling a friend. Going to bed a little earlier.

None of those things magically solve the problem.

But together, they stop one difficult evening becoming one difficult week. And I felt SO much better the next day. Not because my worries were magically solved, but because I know I’ll be okay. I know things will work out. I can only do my best.

That’s probably the biggest lesson I’ve learnt this year. Bad days are still part of my life. I don’t think they’ll ever disappear completely.

The difference now is that I don’t unpack and live there anymore.

I know how to find my way back.

So if you’ve had a wobble recently, if you’ve found yourself spiralling after thinking you were doing really well, please don’t assume you’ve gone backwards.

You haven’t.

Healing isn’t measured by never falling. It’s measured by how gently you pick yourself back up.

Laura x

The other day I found myself sitting in the garden whilst the boys played and I had one of those strange moments where you zoom out and look at your life from the outside.

Not in a sad way so there were no tears. Not in a dramatic way either. Just a moment of reflection where you really just sit and look at what’s happened to your life.

Because if you’d asked me just last year what my life would look like now, I don’t think I would’ve got a single thing right. Literally not one thing. My life has taken a total 360 in every single area.

So firstly, I thought I’d still be married. I thought we’d be planning this year’s holidays together, talking about nursery, arguing over shoes being left out. You know those arguments. The mundane maritual ones. But mainly, I thought we’d be raising my boys under one roof. I thought I knew what the future looked like - like I think most of us do.

We assume that if we’re a good person, if we work hard enough, love hard enough and do all the things we’re supposed to do, life will more or less follow the plan.

Then it comes and spanks you in the bum and laughs in your face.

I think one of the hardest things about separation isn’t just losing the relationship itself. It’s losing the future you built in your mind. The version of your life you thought you were heading towards. The family traditions you always imagined would stay. The milestones. The ordinary little moments you never even thought to appreciate because you assumed they’d always be there. Like playing in the garden on a Sunday afternoon.

People talk a lot about grieving a person, but nobody really talks about grieving a future. I know that was my experience when I first found out about the betrayal last August.

But for a long time, I think that’s what I was grieving most. Not just what had happened, but what wasn’t going to happen.

The life I thought I’d have.

And for months and months and months I couldn’t imagine feeling genuinely happy again. Not because I wanted my marriage back, but because everything felt unfamiliar. Every single routine had changed. Every single plan had changed. Even my identity had totally changed. I wasn’t just navigating betrayal and separation. I was trying to work out who I was on the other side of it - BUT this is what I find most exciting as I continue to build but more on that later.

What I didn’t realise at the time was that healing wasn’t going to come from recreating my old life. It was going to come from building a brand new one. From scratch.

Slowly.

Painfully at times. One tiny decision at a time.

The first coffee on my own.

The first weekend without the boys that didn’t completely break me.

The first time I laughed and ACTUALLY laughed.

The first time I caught myself looking forward to something.

None of those moments felt particularly significant at the time, but looking back, that’s where rebuilding happened. Not in one big breakthrough. In hundreds of small moments.

I still have days where I feel really down and sad about how things turned out, obviously! I’m only 10 months in. And I think that will always be true to some extent. Two things can coexist. I can be grateful for the life I’m building whilst still feeling sadness for the life I lost which absolutely doesn’t make me weak or behind in ‘healing’.

But these days I spend less time wishing things had been different and more time appreciating what is.

Like my boys.

My friends.

The community that’s grown from one of the hardest seasons of my life.

The version of me that’s emerged from it all. A version I never expected to become.

So if you’d told me a year ago that I’d be here writing this, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. I’d have laughing in your face and said yeahhhh right.

But maybe that’s the point. Sometimes the life you end up with looks nothing like the one you planned. That doesn’t automatically make it worse. Just different. And I’ll be trying my hardest that my new different life can be just as beautiful as the one I’ve lost.

So stay tuned! I’ll continue to overshare on the internet as I know it helps others go through betrayal and divorce. Let’s do it together!

Laura x

I genuinely started this month with good intentions. A good mindset. Doing and thinking everything I was ‘meant to’ to keep moving forward in my life (mid divorce, healing from betrayal, co-parenting after heartbreak).

But of course, the universe had other plans.

This week my baby turned 1. Rewind to last year, on June 2nd 2025 at 7.20pm, we welcomed our second baby. 10 weeks later, my marriage ended.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I am doing very well all thing’s considering. I’m in a good place mentally, rebuilding one step at time and knee deep in any holistic healing that helps. As well as helping others on their journey too.

But this week has been hard. This milestone in particular, has been hard. Throw in ANOTHER sickness bug and I feel at my limit again. Single parenting sick children is a challenge both mentally, physically and emotionally. No question. When there’s no one to tap in to take over at 10pm or 5.30am. No one to change sicky sheets (ugh), no one to walk the dogs or keep the house running. I’m exhausted.

Our custody is 50/50, but due to me being freelance and trying to build my career back up post maternity, I am flexible. I’m thankful I am flexible but it tends to be a thankless job being the default parent, even after separation. Nursery collections, missed meetings, delayed work, I’ve had it all this week.

I also had to make the decision to cancel his party tomorrow as it obviously not worth the risk to others to catch what he has.

Gutted.

But! But But But. It’s not the end of the world is it? It’s been rescheduled. He will be okay and life goes on.

So what’s this article actually about you ask?

Realism.

It’s about the realism of going through a divorce, dealing with REALLY tough milestones like birthdays, what co-parenting looks like for us during birthdays and how I’m handling it. It’s been a tough week. No sugar coating in this one guys. I’ve spiralled more than I cared to, worried about the future, finances, my Instagram, career, everything! Which is SO not like me!

Let’s start with birthdays and co-parenting.

We’d agreed to do birthday’s together where possible due to their very young ages (1 and 2). For my son’s 2nd birthday back in February, we took him to a soft play and nandos, totally civil and fine. Of course, some thoughts and feelings to process after like ‘wow this is what I remember a family of 4 felt like’ but I quickly remind myself it’s okay to feel this grief, there is no going back and just be kind to myself.

Back to this week. So his birthday was on Tuesday and my ex works so we had agreed last month to take him after when he finished somewhere. I mistakenly agreed for my baby to stay at his dads on the night of his birthday but I was no longer comfortable with that thought. I’m his mum and it’s his 1st birthday. Why should I not be allowed to tuck him in? It just didn’t sit right. I know it’s 50/50 but that was tough. Too tough. And it naturally caused an argument.

Look, I’m not perfect. I don’t claim to be. It’s OKAY to be emotional towards these things. This shit is HARD. We ended up agreeing to me helping with bed time at his which quickly changed anyway to the boys staying with him due to sickness and not moving them round and my ex coming over instead. So he did after work and I went to bed as I felt horrendous. Not the best birthdays but at least he knew no different!

So the party. This is where it gets sticky.

Co-parenting after betrayal isn’t just about calendars and handovers. It’s about navigating grief, resentment, boundaries, guilt and the in-between of trying to do the right thing for your kids but without damaging more of your mental health.

And this is what people rarely talk about.

The rest of this piece is behind a paywall, not to be cryptic or dramatic but because some parts of healing, co-parenting and rebuilding after betrayal feel safer shared in a smaller space.

Writing honestly has become part of my healing, but I’m also learning where boundaries matter now too when oversharing on the big old internet.

Thank you to everyone who supports my writing here. It genuinely helps me continue rebuilding this chapter of my life.

Read more

Good morning lovely people.

It’s been a heatwave this weekend in the UK and it’s been glorious! I’ve had my two young boys for the majority of the weekend other than Saturday night until Sunday evening when they were with their Dad. So it’s been MANIC.

My house is a tip. I feel like I’ve walked 10 marathons trying to keep two small children fed, hydrated, entertained and protected from the heat. But my heart is also very full!

There are moments now even amongst the chaos where I stop and realise that we are okay. Not perfect (because no family is perfect). Not healed completely. But doing really well.

If you’re new here, I’m nearly a year into my separation after discovering my husbands affair. And alongside the grief, shock and rebuilding that comes after betrayal, there’s also been the reality of learning how to co-parent.

Since starting my Instagram (@lifewithlauramay) in January, co-parenting after betrayal is an area of high-interest amongst my followers going through this. And I’m not surprised.

How do you raise children with someone who hurt you deeply?
How do you communicate with someone you no longer trust?
How do you stay calm when your nervous system still reacts to them?
How do you protect your peace while still trying to create stability for your children?

It’s hard. But doable.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about co-parenting after betrayal is that there’s a right way to do it. But every relationship, every separation and every family dynamic is different. There is no blueprint in this one.

What works for one person may feel impossible for another. And that’s important to remember, especially online where people often speak in absolutes. But there are certain things I’ve learned this past year that have genuinely helped me emotionally and I wanted to share them today in case they help someone else too.

The first is this:

Co-parenting only truly works when both people are willing to make it work.

That is a hill I will die on.

Both people have to be willing to communicate respectfully, prioritise the children emotionally and put aside resentment enough to create some level of consistency and peace. Sadly, that isn’t always the reality. And one of the hardest lessons after separation is accepting that you cannot force another adult to communicate well, parent well or behave how you wish they would.

I consider myself one of the lucky one’s where we both really want to show up well together for the sake of our children and still raise them together, in a positive way whenever we’re around each other. It hasn’t always been this way though, we’ve had our fair share of blocks of barriers from both parties.

So read this part very carefully…

You cannot heal someone else’s emotional immaturity.
You cannot make someone take accountability.
And you cannot carry the entire emotional responsibility for co-parenting alone.

That realisation was painful for me at first because I think when you’ve been betrayed, you desperately want things to make sense again. You want cooperation. Stability. Reassurance. But this isn’t something that can’t be RUSHED.

Over time I’ve realised that trying to control another person’s behaviour only drains the little emotional energy you have left. What you can control is your side.

Your boundaries. Your reactions. The environment you create for your children. The way you speak around them. The peace you protect inside your own home. And all of this comes with HEALING from betrayal.

But another thing I’ve learned is that healing and co-parenting are not the same thing.

You do not need to be fully healed in order to co-parent effectively.

You can still be grieving and show up for your children. You can still feel angry and choose to communicate calmly. You can still be heartbroken and create emotional safety in your home. Two things can absolutely co-exist at once.

I also think people underestimate how triggering co-parenting after betrayal can actually feel too. Which is where you need an enormous amount of grace and patience for yourself.

Sometimes a text message can ruin your entire mood. A handover can spike your anxiety. A simple interaction can bring all the hurt flooding back.

All these things means your nervous system remembers the pain. Which is where all the little regulation practises I teach and advise come in.

At times for me personally, one thing that’s helped massively is reducing unnecessary communication which is needed to detach (I go into trauma bonds in other articles to follow along), but again, this can change sometimes too. On a whole, I advise people to…

1. Keep conversations child-focused

2. Not discuss the relationship

3. Not revisiting old arguments

4. Not look for emotional validation from someone who hurt you

The less emotionally entangled things are, the calmer you’ll feel afterwards. Although the term ‘protecting your peace’ has become a buzz phrase online, it is very true. It becomes essential after betrayal.

Something else I really want to say - especially for anyone struggling today - is that

Your children do not need perfection.

They do not need a parent who never cries, never struggles or never feels overwhelmed. They need emotional safety. Consistency. Love. Presence. And snacks (lol).

And if you are navigating severe heartbreak while still showing up every day for your children, you are already doing far better than you probably give yourself credit for. I forgot this SO many times myself, and it’s such a powerful reminder.

If you’re in the thick of it right now and can’t imagine ever losing that heavy resentment towards your ex-partner, I promise you can. It just takes time, patience and healing.

The pain won’t always feel this loud. Your nervous system won’t always feel this exhausted. And one day, you’ll realise you’re no longer just surviving it, you’re rebuilding from it too.

And if nobody has told you recently - I’m proud of you for surviving it.

Laura x

So after a really lovely 4 days with the boys I dropped them to their Dad’s on Saturday evening. I had no kid-free weekend plans which I did intentionally after being away last weekend. I was craving solitude. Quiet. Slow.

I had a take-away and a glass (or 2) of wine and watched the new Dutton Ranch series (Beth and Rip forever xo). Then I very unexpectedly came on my period mid-cycle. This has never happened to me before. I have always been regularly after coming off any contraception years and years and years ago so this actually really took me by surprise.

After a few internet searches and research it obviously clicked that wow, I am still very postpartum - 11 months to be exact. And it’s not something I ever really give myself credit for. I think because life has been so emotionally consuming in other ways (dealing with betrayal, losing my marriage when I was 10 weeks postpartum and going through divorce proceedings) I have almost forgotten that my body has still been recovering this entire time.

And I know I can’t be the only woman who does this.

What followed was a quiet moment of reflection that probably would not have happened if my body didn’t forced me to slow down.

In the rest of this piece I want to talk honestly about postpartum recovery, infidelity and divorce and the way women learn to function through exhaustion without noticing it.

I also share the small things I did afterwards that helped me reconnect with myself again instead of simply pushing through. If you are navigating motherhood and rebuilding and emotional overwhelm all at once I think this conversation might resonate with you more than you expect.

Read more

I am finally coming up for air after one of the single most stressful, emotional weekends since my separation began and boy did my body feel it.

And that’s the thing about going through a divorce - weekends like this can appear out of nowhere and make you feel like you’ve undone all of your progress. Like you’ve been pulled backwards emotionally after working so hard to move forward.

But I promise you haven’t.

Moments like these don’t erase your growth. They reveal the parts of you that still need care, release and compassion - mainly self compassion too. To take a minute and see how far you’ve come and rest.

Sometimes the hard days are part of what allows you to let go more deeply, process what’s still sitting in the body and move forward with even more strength and self-awareness afterwards. And that’s exactly what happened to me this weekend.

So what happened?

Why is the rest behind a paywall?

Because not every part of my life is something I want to unpack publicly on social media or the internet. Some experiences deserve a little more privacy, protection and space to be shared honestly and intentionally.

Inside the full piece I’m sharing:
• what triggered the emotional build-up
• how it showed up physically in my body (and the EXACT spiritual meaning behind it!)
• what a nervous system crash can actually feel like after divorce and emotional stress
• the tools I used to regulate and reset
• and the mindset shift that stopped me believing I’d ‘gone backwards’

(finally getting some Vitamin d today!)

Read more

Hello guys,

As you know I’ve been in Jersey this weekend so now it’s straight back into the reality of single parenting and navigating divorce life.

One thing I’ve always been really open about is how hard I’ve tried to keep things amicable with the boys’ dad. More than anything I wanted us to co-parent well. Not for appearances or to prove anything to anyone but because I genuinely believe children deserve peace, stability and two parents who can communicate respectfully.

But recently I’ve realised that protecting my own wellbeing has to come into that equation too. So for the time being I’ve had to put some boundaries in place.

I think one of the biggest pressures on any co-parenting relationship is the financial reality that comes with divorce and separation. Co-parenting only truly works when both people are willing to communicate respectfully, act fairly and do the right thing even when emotions are high.

Sadly money has a way of changing people.

I’ve spoken to so many women whose partners have walked away and left them carrying the emotional and financial weight of rebuilding a life for their children. Some gave up careers to raise families only to find themselves trying to survive while navigating heartbreak at the same time.

And whilst every situation is different I’ve learned there are some boundaries you have to put in place not out of bitterness but out of self preservation.

In this post I’m sharing:

• The boundaries I’ve had to introduce
• What I’ve learned about co-parenting during divorce
• The emotional impact financial stress has on parenting dynamics
• Why protecting your peace is sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for your children

It’s a long one guys. A personal one.

Read more

Offt what a call.

For context, we are using a service called Amicable to help us come to a financial agreement to take to the court. I believe the full service has cost my ex £6,000 but this is substantially cheaper than using solicitors and going to court - I didn’t realise that every case goes to the court for sign off (I mean why would I know that, this is my first and last divorce rodeo).

Anyway, they have been great. They require full financial transparency from both parties and look at ‘the marital’ pot, earnings, housing requirement and so on. And of course, ensure the children are put first and have everything they need - by both parents.

A bit about me…

As you know from following me, I’ve been freelance marketing for 3 years whilst having my children and separated last August following the discovery of his affair, when i was 10 weeks post partum. Anyway, my ex owns his own company. I look after the boys every tuesday and friday too - effectively shortening my working abilities to 3 days per week (unless we put them into nursery full time which was never, ever wanted or planned. But neither was any of this!) so until they both attend school I wish to continue doing this if I can (unless I get super busy and can warrant putting them in another day).

The STICKY bit - finances.

Read more

Silence.

Like, what is the point in spending half an hour cooking… for one person?

I was always the main cook of the household - like most mums (not to belittle the men ok!) but it does tend to fall on the mum to cook the dinners - which I didn’t mind! I enjoyed cooking. I enjoyed looking at new things to try so mealtimes didn’t feel monotomous.

But after my separation I lost ALL passion for it. And this is normal.

Because you’re not cooking for a family anymore. You’re not thinking about what everyone else wants. There’s no routine around it. No shared mealtimes. No one to sit down with at the end of it.

And somehow something that used to feel so normal can suddenly feel really heavy.

I think this is one of those small moments that actually carries a lot more underneath it than we realise. It’s not just about food. It’s about the life you had, the role you played, the way your days used to flow without you having to think about it.

When that changes even the simplest things can then feel unfamiliar.

Cooking used to have meaning. It was part of caring for other people. Part of your identity. And when that’s gone it can feel like you’re left with something that doesn’t really fit anymore.

So you stand there at the fridge knowing you should probably eat something decent but feeling completely unmotivated to do it.

And then sometimes you don’t or you pick at something quick and easy and tell yourself it doesn’t really matter.

Subscribe now

What I’ve started to understand is that it only feels pointless because so much of what you did before was for other people. You were used to thinking about everyone else first. You were used to being needed in that way.

No one really teaches you how to take that same care and turn it back towards yourself - this is the REAL self-care. So of course it feels strange. Of course it feels a bit empty at first. You’re learning to do something in a different WAY. Now read this part again and let that sink in.

It can be as simple as choosing one meal and deciding that you’re going to make it properly. Not because you have to, not because you’re trying to prove anything, but because you’re starting to rebuild that sense of care again - and nutrition is VITAL.

So I’m bringing it back to basics. Good but simple meals that don’t take much effort but still feel like I’m looking after myself properly and feeling my body and mind what it needs.

One of the things I’ve been making a lot is a chicken loaded wrap. It’s quick, filling and nutritional without being overwhelming to make - plus WASTAGE - a lot of these ingredients you can use throughout the week on so many different meals (recipe at the end)

It’s not really about the recipe though. It’s about the act of doing something for yourself and following it through. It’s about sitting down and actually eating it rather than rushing or skipping it altogether. It’s about starting to create small moments in your day that feel a bit more stable - for yourself and not other other people.

These are the things that slowly rebuild you even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

If this part of things has felt harder than you expected, you’re not the only one. It’s such a small detail on the surface but it carries a lot emotionally.

And if you’re in this chapter of trying to find your feet again, I share more about this kind of thing here. The small routines, the mindset shifts and the practical ways to start feeling like yourself again after separation and betrayal.

You don’t have to rush it. Just start where you are.

Laura x

• season chicken with cajun

• cut a sweet potato into cubes and season with cajun

• chop up some pepper and leave to the side

• airfry the cubes for 20 mins at 200

• Fry the chicken then add in frozen masala sauce (I keep mine in those ice trays!)

• when these are nearly finished, place your wrap in the microwave for 10 seconds then spread some tzatkiki on, add your chicken and cubes of sweet potato and peppers with any salad you like

• ENJOY x

It sounds good and it feels fair. It’s the kind of thing you say and both agree on because of course you want things to be equal and children should absolutely see their parents equally to build and nurture relationships after divorce.

But the reality of it is something else entirely.

This week really brought that home for me and slapped right across the face (theoretically speaking).

Read more

It’s for the women who are holding it together on the outside but feel like everything has changed underneath.

The ones navigating co-parenting, betrayal, grief or just a life that didn’t go how they imagined.

If that’s you you’re in the right place.

What this space is

I share the parts I don’t always say out loud on Instagram.

The full stories.
The messy middle.
The thoughts that come after the post ends.

Things like:

• What really happens after the good co-parenting day falls apart

• The conversations I wish I handled differently

• The days I feel like I’m failing (and how I move through them)

• Rebuilding your identity when everything feels unfamiliar

• How astrology and believing in the universe’s plan is what has helped heal me and accept what’s happened and look to the future

What you’ll get

As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:

• Deeper, honest articles (1–2 times a week)

• Personal reflections I don’t share publicly

• A space that feels real, not polished

• Guides

Why this isn’t free

I’ll always share openly on Instagram.

But this space is slower.
More intentional.
More honest.

It’s for the women who want more than a post they scroll past, they want something that actually sits with them and HELPS them move through such a horrific time in your life - being cheated on by the person you loved.

If you’re rebuilding your life in any way…

You don’t have to do it perfectly.
And you definitely don’t have to do it alone.

I’m right here - and after just 7 months into mine I already feel happiness and excitement for my future being I honestly feel ALIGNED.

- Laura x