It is the night before the lunar eclipse, and I have been ruminating deeply in my soul around Desi’s absence, as well as Porter’s. I am met with the full spectrum of human emotions while simultaneously connecting with my higher self, trying to understand the greater purpose of what the Universe is offering me in this moment of my human life.

Every day has been a constant internal battle—not wanting to surrender to what I am being asked to accept, while also knowing, both logically and spiritually, why things are playing out the way they are. Everything is DIVINE TIMING, always. No matter how tragic or horrible things may seem, there is always a timing that aligns with what is meant to happen.

I write this article as a love letter to my dogs as I reflect on the last two years, with the eclipse happening tomorrow. I brought home Desi’s ashes yesterday, and I thought I was ready to completely break down—to finally come to the realization that she really is gone. That her physical body has become tiny, fine particles of ash, returning to Gaia.

Surprisingly, I had no emotional reaction yesterday. However, that doesn’t mean I escaped it. Sadness and depression decided to make a visit today, banging on the door and demanding to be let in. I sat in meditation with my drum and asked to connect with Desi’s higher self. She appeared with Porter and another dog, Parker, who is an Elder guide.

Parker is my partner’s former Labrador Retriever who crossed over six years ago, and he has become such a precious guide to my dogs and me. I first connected with Parker almost two years ago through getting to know my partner. Parker started showing up in my meditations as a way to communicate with my partner and relay guidance from the other side. It has been a strange experience for my partner to comprehend and accept. However, I truly believe it has brought subtle healing and peace that continues to work on a subconscious level.

Although I was able to see Desi and Porter, I called upon Parker for guidance in accepting the heartbreaking reality that my dogs are no longer with me on the physical plane. He conveyed how much love my dogs had—and still have—for me as their mom, caretaker, protector, and for the deep kinship they feel toward my unwavering loyalty to the animal kingdom. For a moment, I allowed myself to surrender into the love they were radiating toward me from the other side. It was exactly what my soul needed—to release the emotions my human body has been holding onto and to be infused with the divine love they continue to offer me. To know that I did enough. That I was enough. That they are always close by.

I asked Parker, “What can I do to get through each day and not want to give up?” He conveyed that as difficult as this reality feels right now, I can conquer it. I will conquer the overwhelming darkness and loneliness that has settled over my life. He showed me myself as a little girl—an Earth and animal warrior who fights for justice for the natural world. A little girl carrying a beautiful shield and aura of kindness, forged from Valyrian steel, capable of overcoming the darkness that can consume us if we allow it. Since my two dogs have left, I have felt like I no longer know who I am.

All of the time, energy, and love I poured into caring for them is now in my own hands, waiting for me to create a new identity, new routines, new hobbies, and new ways of being. I am overwhelmed by that, and I am scared of it. So I have decided to take it one day at a time and begin exploring interests I have always wanted to pursue.

I purchased a mountain bike and will be taking up mountain biking as a physical hobby that allows me to experience nature in a completely different way. I have learned to ride an electric longboard, and it has become another way for me to get outside, quiet my mind, trust myself, and move my body differently. I have also found my way back to reading books again, allowing myself to escape reality for a little while.

This is my promise to my dogs moving forward:

I will now put my time and energy into this new chapter of rediscovering myself—one that challenges me and pushes me beyond my comfort zone on every level. After fourteen years of sharing my life with two dogs, this is a freedom I have never known before. A freedom I have yet to explore, understand, and become comfortable with. This is a new identity evolving into something that I believe will become radically magical and deeply rewarding to my soul. My dogs shared with me a love so vast and all-encompassing that, even after crossing over, they continue reminding me not to forget my own essence. To remember what I am capable of creating, offering, and becoming.

Now begins a beautiful and soulful chapter in my life story.

I have been reflecting deeply on no longer having Desi’s physical presence in my life and how that has impacted me as life continues to move forward. One of the hardest parts of this human experience is that life keeps going while you’re grieving a soul-crushing goodbye. Even so, I struggle with the word loss when it comes to Desi. She chose to go, and I honored her decision to leave. I can’t say that I lost her—but I did lose the feeling of my whole heart when her physical presence disappeared.

I have moments where I feel angry that life simply continues and that no one else feels what I feel. I imagine many pet parents can relate to that. Of course, I don’t expect anyone else to carry my grief, because no one else shared the relationship that Desi and I had. But I do believe that those who have loved animals understand the unspoken bond we form with them. When they pass, the grief is difficult to explain because it is such a visceral, deeply rooted experience. It reminds us just how connected we are to Gaia, to other sentient beings, and to how fleeting life truly is in the grand scheme of things.

I truly believe animals are here alongside us to help evolve our consciousness, and that certain animals enter our lives to help us grow in deeply personal ways. Desi came into my life with grace and playfulness, and she left this reality still wanting to make sure I wasn’t alone.

Yesterday, while sitting beside a river, I was able to visit with her. She greeted me with overwhelming joy, covering my face with kisses just as she used to. She appeared as her younger self, vibrant and full of life. Porter was there too, and the two of them ran off together into the trees. I also spent time with my paternal grandparents, whom I often visit when I need guidance from the other side.

My grandmother shared that, although Desi was ready to leave this earthly life, she has remained close by, making sure I am okay. She told me Desi is in her life review while gently adjusting to the idea that she can let go, perhaps because she may return again during this lifetime. Since Desi passed, hummingbirds have appeared to me almost every day. I know, in my heart, that it’s her. Hummingbirds symbolize joy, resilience, and playfulness, and I believe she is reminding me that she is still with me in spirit.

One thing I have noticed is that I can still feel Desi’s presence around me. My experience with Porter was different. He seemed to accept more quickly that he could leave, visiting me less often but with a quiet reassurance. He gives me a deep sense of trust that our paths will cross again in this lifetime. Desi, on the other hand, feels like a younger soul who is still deeply devoted to making sure I’m okay without her physical presence.

Realizing this only deepens my love for her. My heart trembles at the thought of how profoundly she loved—and still loves—me. This experience has helped my heart move forward, even if only in a small way, because it reminds me that my purpose here still matters.

To be completely honest, if it were up to me, I would have checked out of this earthly life the moment she left. I know that sounds heavy, but it is the depth of my truth. I also know that I am here for the animals. Without them, I don’t know that I would have found a reason to stay.

This may sound morbid, but to me it isn’t. It feels like clarity. I believe my purpose is to speak for the animals—to help communicate what they cannot always express to the humans who are ready to deepen their consciousness. I see myself as a bridge between their world and ours. As much as there are days when I wish I could be with them instead, I know there are still animals who need someone to advocate for them, to listen to them, and to help others understand them.

So, for now, I wait for my next assignment while continuing to navigate this dense human reality—working a 9-to-5, paying the bills, and carrying my grief alongside my purpose.

I feel like I have no arms now. When Porter passed, it felt like I still had one arm since I was still able to care for Desi. Now that she is gone, I literally feel like I have no arms and am completely naked without my own dogs to care for. It has been a surreal experience to process her absence in comparison to Porter’s and how different both transitions were. Some things were similar, but the mark that each left on me is different in the depths of their love for me. Both loved me deeply, to the core of my soul, in two different ways.

Porter was my knight, my guardian in this lifetime. His purpose was to have my six (my back) no matter what, even though he was terrified of little kids. He fulfilled that role with such devotion and even took on the loving responsibility of having Desi’s back as well. He admired her and respected her role as the oldest, even though he was bigger than her. Desi was my sidekick. She had been everywhere with me. As my hearing dog, which added an extra layer of being my ears in this hearing world, she was my sidekick who joined in on everything that I experienced from age 25 until now.

Lately, as I am processing her physical absence, I am reminded in the small moments, as I recall certain memories or nuances about her being, of how much love she had for me. I knew that she loved me, but I hadn’t recognized how much she truly loved me until after she was gone. It is this feeling of just a massive, awning-like feeling in the air that I can feel enveloped around me. It hangs in the air, surrounding me and protecting me while I am feeling all of this from her.

I recall anytime I got home from traveling without her, she would greet me with such excitement and lick my face all over, telling me how much she missed me. I miss when she used to get excited for her dinner and would have her happy dance and whine while I was making it. That slowly stopped in the last couple of years, which breaks my heart as it comes with aging.

One of the best things about her was when she was younger. After dinner, she would grab one of her stuffed animals and keep it in her mouth and prance around the house, making whining sounds, inviting me to play with her or follow her around with her toy. She was very well known for obsessively asking for pets and touches when she demanded them. She would use her paw to paw at you or grip your arm with her nails, forcing you to touch her and give her affection. She did it in a way that was assertively sweet, where you couldn’t say no.

Some of my best memories are from when I had divorced my ex-husband and I was single, living out in the Hill Country of Texas in this 100-year-old house, and it was just her and me. We were both blond gals living our best single lives. It was such newfound freedom at the time. We watched numerous, endlessly beautiful, colorful Texas sunsets from that porch. She would lay there and just watch the property for rabbits, birds, roadrunners, and deer as she hung out.

She had a favorite spot on top of the couch where she could perch like a cat and stare out the window, watching the world go by. She absolutely loved doing her in-home sound work when I had my processors unplugged. She had her side of the bed that was hers and hers only, and we would spend weekend mornings just snuggling for a couple of hours before I’d make coffee and sit outside.

She was a true Texas dog and yet became such an awesome traveling companion. She had the pleasure of living in four different states and traveling through many more states, and she even made a pit stop in Canada. I can only imagine the smells she picked up along those places, the energetic frequencies she tapped into from those places, and the sense of wonder she carried with her as we did it together.

I really do not know how I am going to fill this void of emptiness from the deep bond and love we shared over time. I know I do not have to fill it. It is only human to want to fill the void rather than have it be empty, and maybe this is my experience—to be okay with sitting with the emptiness for a while. Who knows what might help support that or expand it in time.

I know I will have another dog down the road. That is a given and a calling that I am sure of. However, in the meantime, I am learning to embody the absence of a beautiful soul who not only changed my life but saved me in many ways since she showed up in my life—in ways I cannot explain.

She left me at a time when she knew I was strong enough to be okay without her, as much as I do not want to admit that because I never wanted to let her go. But I knew it was a time for a change of the guard. She did an exceptionally soulful job with her time here on Earth, and I am truly and deeply forever changed by her presence and impact.

Tomorrow, Desi makes her departure from this earthly realm to join the White Lions during the Lion’s Gate Portal. I really do not know what to make of it all, except that it is TIME.

Any pet parent or person who is surrounded by animals knows “the look.” When I tell people that Desi gave me the look, some are astounded and do not know what to make of it. Real animal people know exactly what “the look” is. No explanation is needed. This is where the connection between humans and animals truly comes in. It’s a knowing, no different than when a human is ready to go on their deathbed. If you’ve experienced it, you know. If you haven’t, words will never fully explain it.

Desi’s timely integration back to the Creator is becoming one of the most colorfully bittersweet experiences of a final chapter I have yet to experience. She gave me “the look” on Wednesday, and I knew that Saturday was when she wanted to go. Being that it is one of the most powerful days of the year—and my favorite day of the year, no less—it felt divinely aligned in how she wanted to let me know and set up the portal for her transition. It is a time of incredible liminal space between realms, where the height of magic happens if we know how to tap into it and utilize it.

The last couple of days, as I have been preparing myself emotionally and setting up the energetic space for what is about to happen, I have been met with such overwhelming relief and gratitude that she has arrived at this place in this moment in time. Not to say that I am not incredibly devastated by her physical presence no longer being here—because I am. However, I know with certainty and absolute conviction that she is ready now. One thing that I am deeply grateful to both of my dogs for is the ease with which I have been able to accept and surrender to the ending of their physical lives because I know there is much more beyond this reality than we can see, and they are never really gone.

For those who are not familiar with the Lion’s Gate, it occurs on August 8th every year, symbolizing infinity (8/8). It is the alchemical alignment of the Sirius star and the Sun, creating one of the most energetically powerful days of the year. The portal reaches its peak at 8:00 AM and 8:00 PM, offering an opportunity to create the next reality and version of yourself that you want to step into. The White Lions are from the Lyrian civilization, a civilization that has been lost for eons and is now making center stage in our lifetime to remind us to have big, bold visions for ourselves and collectively. Lions are a symbol of true, authentic leadership—following your true north and expanding into your own personal power that has nothing to do with ego.

I follow Sabrina, who puts out amazing astrology work through Rewilding with Sabrina—embodied astrology practices and information that applies to our practical lives. She mentioned that on Saturday our souls may be going deeper into the underworld, offering us the opportunity to gain more depth in our feminine side—an aliveness, creativity, and fertility that are raw and ready to bloom as the antidote to our cruel and ugly collective world right now. As I was listening to this yesterday, I felt validated in my decision to physically let Desi go on Saturday, as she truly embodies the feminine part of myself. She has been my radical and powerful feminine side, displaying this beautiful balance of love, fierceness, and resilience that I have been learning from since I was 25.

Those of you who know me know that I see my reality as a spiritual practice that is deeply interconnected with the Universe. Seeing Desi’s departure as a spiritual experience is what is helping me continue to accept and surrender to the human experience. As much as it shatters my heart to not have her around anymore after 14 years, I know in my soul that it is time for the next step of my soul’s evolution, whatever comes next.

To those reading this blog who know Desi, please do me a favor and offer up a prayer into the world tomorrow as she quietly passes back into Gaia’s loving embrace. She will be merging with the source codes of the White Lions as we all continue trying to create a greater future for humanity and expand more love and kindness into the world.

Give your animals love, and know they are all warriors for Gaia.

Writing from a place of emotional tenderness as each day unfolds. I wanted to hop on here and share some of my deepest feelings as I navigate nearing the final chapter with my beautiful first love, Desi. All may seem well to those who see her out and about on her short walks and greetings, but behind the scenes, her spirit is worn.

I have arrived at a place where I am faced with the utterly heartbreaking reality that, soon enough, she will cross the threshold and join Porter in the spiritual realm.

Through all the changes we have been through over the last couple of months, she has been my true rock and warrior, simply flowing with the chaos that has completely turned my life upside down and, somehow, back up again with a different lens on life. I have always felt misunderstood and not fully accepted for who I truly am at the soul level. I also know that becoming who we have always been is a lifelong journey, especially while living on Planet Earth during these times.

Desi entered my life at the perfect moment, when I was halfway through my twenties and undergoing profound psychological and spiritual awakenings. Looking back now and realizing how deeply she has been there for me, I feel gifted with the opportunity to give her the peace her body and spirit need when it is time. Right now, I am working on accepting that I will be okay without her physically beside me during these moments of uncertainty.

Experiencing a fast death with Porter last year, and now a slow and present ending with Desi, has shown me the different ways grief finds us. Both are extraordinarily painful in their own ways. At the same time, I am forever grateful that I have been given this time to soak in and savor every remaining moment with her.

Another aspect of this journey that I realize isn’t talked about enough, normalized, or free from judgment is the sacrifice of giving up our own needs and wants because of our dogs and their transition through life. I know many dog guardians can resonate with this, especially those who view their dog as their soulmate, their person, their fur baby, or their family. I would die for my dog if it meant saving her life. That is the type of commitment and connection I have with Desi. Call me crazy, but that is simply who I am.

I came into this life knowing I would be an animal warrior and advocate above almost anything else. A lot of people have a hard time understanding that, but that is okay. It isn’t for everyone, and we are all here to walk our own journey.

At this point in my life, Desi is my priority. She remains at the top, overriding my own needs and wants because I owe it to her to give her the soul ending she deserves after giving me so much of herself.

This experience is asking me to look into the face of the finality of physicality and prepare for the shadow of a new loneliness when it comes to claim her life.

This is what I am preparing for.

Another initiation into the darkness.

I have been in a whirlwind of changes since April, and it continues even now. This has been the epitome of the very true statement: “Change is the only constant.” This rings so true for many of us collectively as of late, and to be honest, I am completely and utterly exhausted and burnt out from all of the change itself.

It has pushed me out of my comfort zone, challenged my own belief systems, brought up old patterns I thought I had worked through, and led me down a dark hole within my soul once again to uncover deeper layers of healing that I never saw coming.

I was sure I knew what I wanted to do and accomplish with my career, with Liminal Communication, with my dogs, and with my path. Yet all of that has seemingly gone out the window. Not to say things can’t change or look different tomorrow—because they usually do. This is the piece that has thrown me for a loop. I am slowly realizing that nothing is permanent, and that I can allow things to process and flow through me as each day comes. Everything can change, and there is no danger or harm in that.

As I settle into my new routine and reality back in Colorado, I am sitting with myself and gaining clarity about what my path looks like moving forward. My website, Liminal Communication, is undergoing a restructuring as I continue to discover what I truly want to offer the world. I am in the midst of feeling unanchored, yet I have a faint sense of how I want to offer earth-based tools within a spiritual framework.

What I mean by that is combining my service dog behavioral skills, emergency management experience, and natural ability to create space, understanding, and connection for both people and their animals. I am working toward offering consulting services for animal organizations and businesses to develop or update Emergency Operations Plans, evacuation strategies, communication systems, and partnerships with key resources and stakeholders. Alongside that, I will continue offering dog training and canine nervous system regulation services, while also being present for people whose beloved pets are nearing the end of their lives and who need spiritual support during that transition.

A vision came to me three years ago. In it, I opened the backseat of my car and saw two large black bins with yellow lids. One was labeled “Earth,” and the other was labeled “Spirit.” That vision told me it would be my path to offer both in some way. Now, I find myself at a choice point, exploring how I can weave these two realities together in service to others.

It is ironic how we, as individuals, often undergo massive changes and feel incredibly lost on our path and purpose in life. Yet it is often within those very moments that we discover the true power of alchemy and transformation. When we slow down, pay attention, and trust what is unfolding, we can begin to loosen our grip on the fear that stares us in the face and laughs at us.

I trust that my services will come together in a way that is coherent, meaningful, and in service to the planet. After all, as long as my soul’s purpose is to be there for the animals, that is what matters most to my deepest calling.

This full moon in Sagittarius has been a revealing of much—shedding, completing, and letting go of deeper layers than I could have possibly imagined. Funny how, when you remove yourself from your constant reality, sit with yourself, and truly reflect, you meet versions of yourself you hadn’t noticed day in and day out for a very long time. Last night, I opened my journal to make notes of reflections, and the first page I turned to had a picture of Porter. I held his picture in my hands and meditated, and then the tears came. Uncontrollable, can’t-keep-it-in tears came pouring out. His picture opened a part of me I hadn’t touched in a very long time.

First, it was the memory of losing him for a whole year to my ex-husband, who was very toxic and abusive. That day, I made the choice to leave him, and I was going to take both dogs, Desi and Porter. But unfortunately, Porter was legally my ex’s dog at the time, so I was left with no choice. I remember saying goodbye to him outside in the snow on a dreary day in Michigan, not knowing if I would ever see him again. I was scared for him and for the life he would have without the love and care he deserved. I left that day carrying a grief I didn’t know how to process.

Now, to experience the death of a dog is its own kind of grief. But losing a dog while they are still alive, and knowing they are with someone who isn’t capable of properly caring for them, is another kind of loss entirely. You live with the unknown every day while trying to continue on with your life. For a whole year, I drank myself into numbness so I wouldn’t think about him or what I was feeling inside. I hid behind the appearance that I was happy to be out of that abusive relationship, living in the beautiful countryside with Desi, back at the job I loved, and slowly caring less about what people thought of me. But underneath it all, I was carrying the memory of leaving him behind and questioning whether I had failed him somehow.

Then, exactly a year later, I got news from my ex’s sister that he was in the hospital and no longer capable of taking care of Porter. She was going to find him a new home unless I wanted him. My heart came back to life the moment she asked me. This was my opportunity to finally give him the life he deserved—and the beginning of my path toward consciously healing parts of myself I had buried for a long time. It took five volunteer transports through different rescue groups and shelters collaborating together to get him out of Michigan and back home to Texas. The day we reunited was the day something inside me softened. My family felt whole again—Porter, Desi, and me. That was all I ever needed. Even now, with him gone, I still feel that completeness because his spirit remains with me.

I bring this memory up because, in sitting with it last night, I moved through all the fear, shame, guilt, and regret I carried during that time. Even after he returned to me, I still judged myself for having to make that impossible choice. But later, I realized he never held it against me. He understood. And somehow, the universe knew we would find each other again in this life. This is why I felt such a deep soulmate bond with him—because of everything we went through together. We found each other again, and I was able to fulfill the life I always wanted to give him. That was the soul contract we made with each other before coming into this life.

I share this as a way for others to know that no matter what hard choices we make for ourselves that may affect the lives of our furry loved ones, they still love us no matter what. They understand on a deep soul level what their purpose is alongside us in this life. This can be hard for the human mind to accept or understand, but our souls know the destiny of our paths with our animals. Trust that, and trust your animals—they will guide the way.

Since I have been in Texas for the last week and reflecting upon my journey this past year—moving from Colorado to Washington, back to Colorado, and now temporarily to Texas—I have come to appreciate this beautiful transition and the different realms each place has to offer. It had been over three years since I made the trip home to Texas, where I was born and spent most of my twenties (the hardest decade of my life). Now, being back as a different person has brought deep inner awareness that I have made a home in every place I have lived because home is within myself, along with my pups.

I once thought home was a specific place, but the reality is that while each place brings out core memories, experiences, and feelings, home is actually how I feel in the moment within that place—where I am consciously within myself, where I can find inner peace despite my outer circumstances. What has made it all the more peaceful is that my pups have been with me along the way, through every place I have called home for a period of time.

Granted, there have been many places. Home is truly where you feel most like yourself—where you come to know your own inner desires, where you can see beauty through the chaos of the external world, where family may reside, where you lost and found yourself again, and where you thought you would never leave, only to realize it was simply a snapshot in your story that was never meant to last forever.

There were many times in my life when I lived in places where I thought I was going to die there, doing the same thing over and over. It was a cyclical loop playing repeatedly, never seeing a way out, and my external reality only reflected the negative side of life because I was in the throes of it all.

Over time, as I began making different choices, I saw changes happen slowly but surely. That is the most important thing I urge everyone to remember: YOU HAVE A CHOICE. No matter how repetitive your days may feel or how much you find yourself going through the same motions day after day, you have the ability to make a different choice. One small choice can change the course of your entire day and make it no longer predictable.

The more you do that, the more magical your life becomes because you no longer know what comes next—except for the fact that you made a different choice, without expectation of what will unfold afterward. The intention becomes simply creating a different outcome each day. The same goes for a place you may be tired of living in. Every place has its own reality, and you contribute to creating that reality.

Looking back now at my twenties—a time when I hated my life and where I lived in Texas—I can now see how much I have grown and hold deep appreciation for how much this place taught me. Along with that, coming back here with Desi at 14 years old brings humbling feelings as I watch her revel in the Texas heat and spirit. She is truly a Texas dog, born and raised here.

I know there is a deeper reason beyond the surface as to why I have returned to my home state—not only to complete a cycle of paternal lineage awareness, but also to gift her the opportunity to come home for herself in a way I cannot fully describe.

There is so much awareness happening simultaneously throughout this stay, but it has also strengthened my belief that everything is deeply interconnected. What is happening to you is also happening to your animal in its own unique way; you just may not see it immediately. However, the longer you sit with it, remain present, and observe your animal as they begin to relax their own nervous system, you begin to recognize the subtle yet profound reason they are there beside you in that moment in time.

There is always something unfolding for them at the same time something is unfolding for you.

Remember: life is happening FOR you, not TO you.

I recently moved back to Colorado from Washington, and in the midst of all of that, so many minute changes, as well as long-standing, building, can’t-unsee realities, have revealed themselves over this last week. While I am making Colorado home again, I have traveled back to my roots in Texas for the next few weeks to focus on some introspective questions and reflections of my own that have affected my current situation in Colorado and beyond.

Through all of this, Desi has remained my steady companion during this particularly unstable and unknown season of the future, and yet she is unwavering in the eye of it all. She turned 14 years old last week—an age that I honestly never thought I would see happen. I feel a twinge of guilt for even thinking that in the first place, but in my own human brain, when I think about the amount of emotional, mental, and energetic baggage we unintentionally place on our dogs, I am amazed at their resilience and perseverance to keep going. To face all the changes and unknowns in their own path with such presence and trust. They are true masters of surrendering to it all. They are true reflectors of what it means to go with the flow, adapt to change, and trust the unseen that has yet to reveal itself.

However, I also believe we can create that same reality with other humans by letting go of the expectations we place on the other person. If we allow ourselves to accept and love another person unconditionally, we begin to release the need for things to unfold a certain way. In doing so, we open ourselves up to the surprise of what might happen next.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person will change, but it does change the outcome of the situation because you are no longer framing it to look a certain way or forcing a specific outcome. You begin to trust the unknown and allow the universe to choose what the highest potential outcome is for you to learn at this particular time.

At this point in my life, I look at Desi and am met with humble gratitude because she has reflected back to me the resilience I always had within myself. She mirrored what I needed the most: the most unconditional and nonjudgmental way of being through all the seasons of change. This has allowed me to continue expanding and growing into more evolved versions of my higher self as time goes on.

It has also allowed me to practice the awareness of being unconditional and nonjudgmental toward others because we are all facing different seasons for different reasons at particular times. All we truly need is space to be held, seen, and acknowledged so that we feel safe enough to simply be. Especially in the presence of our own loving animals.

Be kind to yourself always, because this human journey isn’t easy, but your animal companion somehow makes the journey worth experiencing alongside them.

We arrived at the aquamation facility in Denver, held and provided by a wonderful man named John, who has dedicated his life and passion to helping his clients through this type of transition. His space feels like a safe haven for those who choose to say goodbye to their pet before the aquamation process. He has a room that reveals the energy of holding the container for the magic of death arriving to claim the lives of our furry loved ones, but in a way so gentle you would never suspect it. I came with tokens representing all the elements, a candle, and pictures of Porter, Desi, and me, and I made a spiritually soothing playlist that represented a graceful ending for his closing ceremony. I invited a very select few people I trusted to be part of this private ceremony—my partner and a dear friend—and then the vet arrived to provide her services.

The minute we arrived at John’s place, Porter began to scour the perimeter of the house, checking every room and corner before deciding it was to his liking. He then made his way over to John and nudged under his arm with his muzzle. This was the first time I had ever seen Porter so comfortable asserting himself with a man he had never met before, especially since he had been wary of men all his life. This was an indication to me that Porter was absolving all of his own physical fears in real time as his end approached. This was the true reveal I began to see unfold in the midst of transitioning into the liminal space. As I began to set up the space and brought his dog bed into the middle of the circle surrounded by us, and as the vet entered, Porter immediately settled onto the bed and looked up at her, hinting that he was finally ready. My heart simultaneously shattered into a million pieces while at the same time it smiled, knowing he was going to have his peace.

The vet talked me through the process, and I began to open up the space in my heart energetically for what was about to take place. The playlist softly played in the background, full of Kundalini yoga chants made for raising the vibration of our souls and his. As the vet began to inject the drugs into his system, I cried my eyes out, holding his paw and whispering in his ear that I would see him again in this lifetime. I knew in my heart that Porter and I had lived many lifetimes across the cosmos; I would never lose my connection with him. This was a deep truth I knew to the core of my own soul, and I still believe he will find his way back to me again in this life, in another form. As he took his final breath, I surrendered, free-falling into this liminal freedom I hadn’t experienced before. It was like a weight completely dissolved in a matter of seconds, but his energy stayed in a subtle way until the very next day when I closed the portal 24 hours later.

The next day, I closed the portal exactly 24 hours later in meditation with my drum. I was able to see him cross to the other side, and he was utterly happy and free. He saw me and thanked me for freeing him of the physical pain he was in leading up to his passing. This whole experience of planning the ritual, holding the space for him, opening and closing the liminal portal, and experiencing the devastating physical loss of his body was something I intentionally planned for myself to go through—to be initiated into the circle of life and death, and to have deep respect for something much greater than what we can experience or explain in our current reality. My connection to Porter solidified and deeply rooted my faith in the unknown, providing the magic I needed in that moment and beyond.

I share this personal and private part of my experience as a way to let others know that we all have our moments and experiences with our furry loved ones crossing over in many different ways and forms. We may think it’s our imagination, but it is not. When we set an intention in the moment of what is happening, we create what our souls crave—the deep connection and love we have with our pets. We are here because of them. They were here because they were tied to us in some way. They are all in our lives for a reason at a specific time. Remember that and hold true to the fact that you can always connect with them from beyond this realm

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I am taken back by all the years of memories with her. She came into my life serendipitously through an old relationship connection about 12 years ago and has taught me so much about myself, while also deepening my connection with animals in general. When I was younger, I had dreams of having my own hearing dog to help me with my deafness, and Desi showed up at a time in my life when I was so lost about who I was and my place in the world.

Over the years, she has slowly shown me a path—one where I could utilize my own personal experiences, especially as someone with a disability, to share relatable moments with others, and also help them forge a deeper connection with their animals. The deepest gift Desi has given me has been teaching me how to be sweet and soft with myself. She carries a presence of pure sweetness that I’ve come to realize is the medicine I needed, especially during our early years together (I was in my 20s when I got her). This is the part of myself that she has helped heal on my journey as I’ve evolved on this planet.

Coming from a more masculine aspect in many areas of my life, she reminds me to bring in the feminine—to nurture—while also showing me that you can still be fierce as a feminine force when necessary. One of my hidden fears, as she ages and gets closer to the edge of death, is that I’ll lose that part of myself. But that isn’t true. That is just my fear speaking, in the midst of anticipatory grief that tries to take over my sense of logic and perception of the future.

I accept the fact that I will lose the physical sweetness she offers every day, but I will never lose the sweetness she showed me. I’ve had years to integrate it within my own psyche—facing some of my darkest shadows, shining a light on them, and offering them love and tenderness.

After all, fear is just pain that hasn’t yet been shown love and non-judgement.

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He has always been a spirit guide of mine in my meditations, but now he is appearing in my physical reality. I see particles moving when I look in his direction, and I see his eyes looking straight and deeply into my soul. At this time, the veil feels incredibly thin, and more people are beginning to access their own abilities—to listen to their inner guidance and spirit guides, and to discern what is truly their own reality versus what is being externalized in the matrix.

That being said, I share this experience of my wolf spirit guide as a reminder that we are all walking toward the light in the midst of darkness. Theo reminds me that even in the deep holes of grief, madness, and destruction that we are witnessing unfold on our beautiful planet, we must continue to walk toward the light within ourselves—trusting that things often get worse before they get better. The medicine is rooted in the darkness, and we have the power within us to alchemize it.

His eyes represent a direct line to healing—blue like calm, cool waters that soothe our nervous system and auric field, creating a ripple effect throughout our bodies and allowing us to surrender to the knowing that everything is going to be okay. While the external world moves through its own cycles of chaos, it is incredibly important that we remain centered within ourselves, creating a stable field of consciousness, leading by example, and supporting our own healing journey in whatever way that looks like.

I have been walking alone in the darkness, living among the trees of the PNW this past year. To witness this white wolf appearing as I begin to slowly make my way back to Colorado truly feels like a sign of a new beginning. Life in Washington has been quiet, life-altering, and lonely—in the way my soul needed in order to grieve my beloved soulmate dog. With that in mind, this time has allowed me to feel the full depths of grief in the hands of the forest itself, knowing I would use this space to learn the medicine of the darkness and allow it to propel my growth as I return. I have never once forgotten or accepted that Porter has left me. In the physical body, he is not here, but in the spirit, he is always near. He shows up in the form of a big yellow and black butterfly or a hummingbird.

Theo remains nearby as a reminder that we have the ability to tap into the realm of the animal kingdom—especially those of us who share deep kinship with our animals. This connection is not separate from us, but an extension of our own inner knowing. And maybe, in remembering this, we begin to trust that the love we share with them never truly leaves—it simply finds new ways to reach us, guide us, and walk beside us

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I sat in meditation, connecting with her spirit along with my special ancestor guide that I run to when I need guidance. My pup, Desi, faced me with an energy of tired sweetness: I am ready anytime, but it is you who is not ready yet.

I turned to my ancestor and cried into her arms, realizing the brutal truth I couldn’t ignore or deny any longer.

I know our pets come into our lives with a mission that is particular to us and our realities. Animals are not afraid of death, and they accept their fate when the time comes. However, that is not to deny the fact that they do not want to leave us at all.

I know Desi doesn’t want to leave me, and I have made sure to communicate with her that I will be okay, despite the internal dialogue I have with my own human self that I cannot live without her. My soul and human self are at odds at this time and, unfortunately, will be. This is the struggle many of us pet parents will endure.

I was guided to take her to the vet to pursue something more for Desi’s pain—and perhaps more time and hope with her—as I accepted that I was not ready. Luckily, she was given something stronger and has gotten more of her old spirit back online since this last week. This is not to say this will last forever, but it is more time and a gift to still be in her presence.

I realized that she represents the love and affection that I felt I never received as a young girl, and the thought of her leaving terrifies me, as my human self feels I won’t have that love anymore.

Experiencing a liminal threshold with our pets can create a reality where you come face to face with your own shadows and selves that you didn’t know you were denying or hiding from.

I have learned in my relationships with my pups the liminal language of seeing things for what they are and accepting them as they are—this can help move the grief and stagnant energy through. It does not take away the pain of them leaving you or absolve the hole in your heart once their physical presence is gone. But it does ease the bondage of your own human self weighing down this heavy burden of not being able to let go or heal a small part of ourselves.

Dogs can be our greatest teachers if we learn to sit and listen to what they show us. They are always communicating with us through their body language, nervous system regulation, movement, facial expressions, displays of behavior, and love.

Do me a favor when you have time—sit with your pet and just be in their presence. Take notice of what arises in your heart as you sit in their energy field

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Anticipatory grief is where you prepare with all your might, logically understanding the process and how it should go — making plans for the last day, talking to people who have gone through similar experiences — but knowing deep down that you are still alone in this because nobody has the same relationship you have with your pet. That is the worst feeling of it all.

Empathy and holding space for the sacredness of a pet’s life do wonders for many, and I am here for it. But I am also here to reveal a deep but hard truth — it will not ease the piercing pain of their absence when the time comes. It will not make people know or understand the depth or magic in the relationship you had with your pet.

It is unfortunate; however, the beautiful side of all this is that your relationship with your pet was one of a kind, and that is what makes this planet glow — honoring those who revel in the throes of nurturing a life with another who is not human. This is the full definition of multidimensionality. This is the opportunity where we humans can expand our multidimensionality and see the colors of it all

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I have spoken to several pet parents who have shared their own experiences of what has helped them get through each passing day after their pet is gone. One person mentioned that they pretend their dog still gets up in the morning with them. They go into the kitchen, close the doors since it’s early and they don’t want to wake the rest of the house, make breakfast and coffee, and just sit together. She continues this daily ritual as a way to honor her pet’s energetic presence that is still around. Another person shared that they visualize their pet walking with them on walks and hold gratitude for the memories of all the walks they had together. Some people set up altars with their pet’s hair, collars, pictures, urns, and other items that contain the energy of that particular pet. Others visit the favorite places their pet loved spending time in and sit in silence, reminiscing over those precious memories. One might even start a nonprofit or a business in the name of their pet and the impact they had on them.

The point is, we all honor our pets—whether we realize it consciously or unconsciously—because they live in each and every one of us. They are not separate from us, and they never were. Just as we honor Mother Earth and nature, we are all interconnected; the same goes for our pets. One key takeaway I want to leave you with is this: every time you think of them, you are honoring them in the spirit of their own essence and how they impacted you. The actual ritual or act of doing is beautiful, but the thought of them and the love you hold is just as powerful in honoring them—quietly and profoundly

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I was first drawn to the word liminal and its profound meaning during my Nature and Forest Therapy Certificate program over a year ago. The unique frequency that liminality carries speaks a truth at the core — a sacred threshold between what was and what is coming.

Throughout my life, I have been no stranger to otherworldly dimensions and initiations that call us to evolve. In navigating the complex and beautiful relationships between humans and animals, liminality always makes itself known. Being present in the more-than-human world opens mirrors deep within ourselves, helping us face and understand our own inner landscapes.

This work is not for the faint of heart — it is for those souls who wish to dive deeply into their own depths alongside their animal companions. The animals we hold dear are our guides, offering lessons we are here to receive. They walk with us on our paths, helping us confront our own darkness, expand our awareness beyond ordinary perception, and move beyond self-imposed limitations through the language of connection.

Communication is key to a fluid and reciprocal relationship — it is as much about offering what we have to give as it is about learning from them. Our animals are here for a reason. We owe it to them to honor their way of communicating and being, especially during these challenging times for our collective

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