Living between two bodies of water on a narrow isthmus has its perks, but climate change has brought its share of challenges. Last December, a charming cluster of a full moon, high tide and a storm surge teamed up to flood the property. Normally, by then, the bay is frozen solid, but each year that freeze seems to arrive a little later. Since my beach cottage sits on stilts, there was no real damage. Or so I thought. Spring revealed that the little garden I had slowly started to build over the previous two years had succumbed to salt water.

📸 Lisa Mac

And so, the third annual pilgrimage to my favourite nursery began. It’s always a lovely drive down the coast and lunch at a delicious seafood restaurant with my sister. In this season of life, my rituals always involve something delightful. Core memories are a huge part of my mental health.

For those who have been following along, this chapter of life has me leaning into consuming less. Obviously, due to the circumstances, I rolled out looking like I was landscaping a small botanical garden. I completely own it. I needed plants that would bring texture, foliage, structure, but also a joyful explosion of colour. The annuals would bring the delight for the summer, and the perennials would be the foundation for many seasons to come.

📸 Lisa Mac

After decades in the city, I am drawn towards places that invite me to slow down. I also prefer an aesthetic that’s less manicured…lower maintenance, no weed killer, more of a windswept, beachy vibe. Beauty that asks nothing of me except, “stay a while.” I want to enjoy my property without it consuming all of my time. It doesn’t need to look a specific way for anybody else but me. I will let somethings run a bit wild and not worry one bit if it doesn’t look impressive. I like to spend time wandering in my garden, checking on growth, watering and weeding, but not for hours a day. I want it to continue to be a pleasure and not slowly morph into an obligation.

I am currently on sabbatical from a profession that demanded constant vigilance and precision. Now I’m finding joy in things that unfold at their own pace: flowers blooming, herbs growing, tides changing, fogs rolling and seasons changing. I am realizing that my future does not need to look like my past. Decisions that I made in my early twenties served their purpose, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind. One of the biggest threads running through this new chapter of my life is wanting to build something sustainable without making myself miserable maintaining it. I want a simple life that I love. How hard can that be to design?!?!

This whole annuals and perennials project had me thinking about my life, how I need to enjoy today as well as build for tomorrow. Annuals give me the beauty now, but I’ll have to repeat the work, whereas perennials are asking me to think longer term.

What do I want to grow for a season?

What do I want to plant for the long term?

What am I no longer willing to spend my life maintaining?

Pleasure versus responsibility. Today versus next year. “Enjoy the summer” versus “invest for the future”. It is a constant balancing act to find MY sweet spot. Peace, for me, comes with being in the moment the most that I can, but I still need to build for a future that I will be happy I did. Each plant or flower became part of a bigger question: Does this add to the life I am building?

VEGETABLE GARDEN

Since I have been back in the country, I really enjoy growing vegetables. Not a huge, traditional undertaking, but lettuce, tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, lettuce, peas and green beans. And lettuce. The land told me how was I going to be able to do this, and I listened. I didn’t argue or try to negotiate. Part sand and part rock were not ideal growing conditions, so, I opted for raised garden beds. That helps my veggies grow while also protecting my back. Win win!

📸 Lisa Mac

HERBS

A few plants that I did grow in the city were herbs. Basil, rosemary, thyme. Their smell and beauty enticed me as much as their taste. I keep them year round, inside and out, as part of my lifestyle and part of the landscape. This habit followed me home. They are not disposable annuals. Some things are worth carrying forward.

📸Lisa Mac

ANNUALS

I can’t get enough of annuals, but I try to control myself. It does sound like a bigger problem than it is.

📸Lisa Mac

PERENNIALS

Some of what I had already planted didn’t get touched by the salt water so they are quietly returning, season after season, stronger and fuller. These are choices that I made a few years ago when I first purchased the property, and that make me smile every spring when they return a little more established, a bit more abundant. Every perennial is becoming a chapter in this new life, a continuity I chose.

📸Lisa Mac

WHAT DIDN’T SURVIVE

I had been slowly reorganizing the landscape since I bought this property five years ago. I wasn’t here full-time at the beginning and it was a rental, so it wasn’t grandiose, but it was taking shape. I still remember which plants were in the original plan.

📸Lisa Mac

FOR ANOTHER SEASON

I planted blueberries this summer. I’ve eaten a few but they won’t be plentiful. That’s part of the process. One morning, a few years from now, I will walk outside and pick berries from a bush I planted when I was still planning this season. And I will remember… I was making an investment in a future that I was dreaming about.

📸Lisa Mac

WHAT GROWS HERE

The flood, the land constitution, my preferences, the weather… all of these have an effect on what survives or what thrives. Almost like my move from the city. My move wasn’t about becoming an entirely different person. It was about figuring out what still belonged in the life that I am building now. Some things didn’t withstand the transition. Some things had to be moved elsewhere. Some losses weren’t my fault, they were simply due to the conditions. And yet, every season I notice what is happening and I adjust. A little burst of colour, a little more structure, a lot more life.

My garden will become a record of time. This place has conditions, just like my life. I am slowly discovering what grows here. Because some things are temporary, while others stay. Some things didn’t make it, or needed to be moved. Some things needed to be pruned so they could grow stronger. Some plants didn’t appear because their roots were silently growing. And some things surprised me by thriving exactly where they were planted.

If I had to describe my property in one word it is OASIS. For me, the birds, the chipmunks, the bees, the hummingbirds. I can live my life while helping nature as well. It’s a bit rugged, a little windswept, wildly colourful, whimsical and completely peaceful.

It’s me.

Thanks for reading,

Lisa 🌿

P.S. The traditional ending with a song!

DANDELION

by Ella Langley

No stranger to a dirt road or a country muddy river bank

If you’re picking me, you oughta know I wasn’t made for a fancy crystal vase

A mason jar and old blue jeans

From my roots to my boots

I’ll always be

A dandelion

Born to live free, ridin’ on a breeze

on a summer night

tucked back in the weeds, guess that’s just me

In a bed of red roses, I’m the one growin’ up on the wilder side

So if you’re tired of thorns,

I’m a little more dandelion

📸 Lisa Mac

When I decided to leave Montreal after more than three decades of calling it home, this wasn’t an overnight decision. It took months to dismantle the very full life that I had built there. I had to declutter and prepare the house for sale, find someone to take over my dental practice and say good-bye to friends and my band in a meaningful way. There were moments of doubt, anxiety. and panic. But humming beneath those emotions was a quiet certainty that I was doing the right thing for both me and my son. I was following my North Star. Some days there were clouds. Other days, fog. But that star shone brightly enough to keep me on course.

The people in my circle had opinions. It’s one thing when an outside change pushes you into a new life, but it’s another thing completely when that trigger comes from within. They had difficulty understanding why I would leave everything behind to start again. This was not helpful because in my moments of weakness, I believed them. Their doubts were quietly influencing me. I am grateful to have a strong sense of self or else I would still be stuck in that successful but misaligned life.

This was not the first time that I had stood at a crossroads and wondered whether to trust my inner compass. I had wrestled with leaving my marriage years before. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t what I wanted. As difficult as that dissolution was, it was the right decision. Having walked through difficult transitions before didn’t mean that this decision-making process got any easier or that the discomfort was any less. But it did teach me that being sad does not mean that I am making the wrong decision. So, I did what I needed to do and bought a necklace with a North Star, a constant reminder when my mind started fabricating scenarios even though my body already knew what direction to go. When uncertainty arose, questions lingered, people questioned, or sleepless nights added up, I would hold the charm and exhale.

Leaving had been on my mind for some time. Sitting in traffic one morning made the decision crystal clear (you can read about that here), but the final catalyst came from my fourteen-year-old son at the end of our summer vacation three years ago. I was dreading going back to the city and my child at dinner one night said, “Mom, I want to finish high school here. I don’t want to go back to Montreal.” When I asked him what he loved so much about my hometown, he couldn’t answer. He just simply said, “I like the way I feel here.” As children, we tend to listen to our instincts more, before society teaches us not to.

If I’m being honest, I knew what he meant. I left home at eighteen to go to university. I didn’t have a choice and it was a wonderful experience. But my soul always felt more at ease where I grew up. After trying on different masks over the years, it is here that I can completely be myself. I like the way I feel here, too. I guess there was a part of me that had always been homesick, even while building a beautiful life somewhere else.

I would love to be able to say that my life is completely redesigned, but I’m still figuring things out. I've traded certainty for alignment. My city life gave me status, income and identity. My country life gives me time, creativity, peace, and freedom. There are people I miss, especially my band members and that whole sphere of life. We often confuse grief with regret when they are not the same thing. My North Star never promised me an easier life… it simply promised me my own.

Nearly three years later, I’m still wearing that necklace. I haven’t taken it off once, even though I’m not usually someone who sleeps with jewellery. It has become so much more than a necklace. It now looks a little more weathered, a little more rugged… carrying just the right amount of wild. It’s a reminder to trust the quiet voice beneath the noise. A reminder that although my mind may imagine dozens of different futures, I will always know how to find my way home.

Lisa 🌟

P.S. And now for a snippet of a song that accompanies every piece because my life has always been lived with a musical soundtrack.

COUNTRY ROADS

by John Denver

I hear her voice, in the mornin’ hour she calls me

The radio reminds me of my home far away

And drivin’ down the road, I get a feelin’

That I should’ve been home yesterday, yesterday

Country roads, take me home

To the place I belong

West Virginia, mountain mama

Take me home, country roads

I can still smell the exhaust fumes, picture the sea of cars, hear the horns and the low rumble of construction. The sky was impeccably blue, a perfect summer day beginning, but I wouldn’t be part of it. I would be late for work again and spend the rest of the day trying to make up for lost time while still needing to be professional, precise, composed and get the job done. While smiling. The near constant pit of anxiety in my stomach flared wider. My nervous system was pedal to the metal but my car was only inching forward.

I don’t remember the catalyst, but in the blink of an eye, everything slowed down. My hands unclenched the steering wheel, my heart rate slowed and I could feel the blood rushing in my ears. And then, just one simple thought:

I do not want to live this way anymore. I am done.

My nervous system had finally decided it was time to line up with my soul.

“This way, Darling. It won’t be swift, it certainly won’t be defined by fun, but it will be the ride of your life.”

There was no magical path offered, no exit ramp with flashing lights, no subsequent vision. It was just a feeling so deep it felt tattooed on my soul.

A moment of clarity is all very Hollywood but the aftermath is anything but. Real life is much messier. Three AM wake-ups, staring at the ceiling, and the questions…. the never-ending questions!

But if I didn’t want to live this way anymore, how did I want to live exactly? Was my life objectively bad? No. From the outside, for all intents and purposes, I was very successful, balanced. But I have never been someone who worried about what other people saw or thought. I had always marched to the beat of my own drum but now, apparently, I wanted to start a whole new band.

Why now? Why after so many years of performing a life instead of inhabiting it?

The pandemic had certainly opened my eyes to many realities.

I lived in a city of two million people yet my neighbours barely spoke to us. I had grown up in a small town of ten thousand that was the very definition of community so this discrepancy didn’t sit with what my soul craved for.

I had recently passed the big 5-0, although this felt more like re-aligning than a mid-life, blow up your life, crisis. Since my son had been born, I was working less hours, so my maniacal pace had become somewhat normal. But there was still a lot of recovery time needed. And I wanted to be doing other things….photography, singing in my band, reading, gardening, staring at the moon.

My son was getting older and had opinions. He had spent more time in my hometown during the pandemic and was questioning this big city lifestyle.

This would not be a fast process. Untangling a life that was full and layered didn’t happen in a week. Or twenty. Hello discomfort, my new friend.

Many people believe courage is chasing more, faster, higher, louder. But I’m discovering that it also takes courage to choose less….less noise, less striving, less proving, less optimizing. And trusting that less will eventually be more when the dust finally settles….more time, more meaning, more presence. More life.

I am still waiting for the dust to settle, but every day my soul feels a little closer to home.

Lisa

P.S.

Some people pair wine and food. I pair stories with songs.

(To be clear, I also pair wine with food.)

TRUSTFALL

P!nk 2023

Are we runnin’ out of time?

Are we hidin’ from the light?

Are we just too scared to fight

For what we want tonight?

Close your eyes and leave it all behind

Go where love is on our side

It’s a trustfall, baby

It’s a trustfall, baby

First, I told her that my advice to my younger self is based on ME. My genetics, my quirks, my experiences, my character, my baggage, the way that I see the world. What would her daughter find helpful in there? Secondly, we live in a very different world than the one we were in when we were eighteen. Cellphones, social media and influencers did not exist. Third, there is so much to take into consideration. Before I could continue, she proceeded to tell me that I was the only one complicating this delightful project.

“Just have fun with it,” she pleaded. “Please!!??!”

Well, that took all the pressure off….

If it isn’t HELL YES, it’s HELL NO.

Dear eighteen-year-old Lisa,

I have learned many things in my decades on this earth, but for me, the most important realization is that there are many “layers” to living a happy and fulfilled life. The good news is that it all begins with what you, and only you, consider a happy and fulfilled life. The bad news is that it is up to you, and only you, to figure it out. So, how do you get to the crux of that?!? It can be confusing; there are so many people and self-help gurus telling you what should be important and what success looks like. However, those “layers” that you need for happiness are different from everyone else, so be gentle and patient with yourself as you figure it out. It takes time and experience to discover the right pieces to create the specific puzzle of YOUR life.

I’ve put together a TOP TWENTY-FIVE of little nuggets of advice for you. They have been gathered over the years from hundreds of conversations, thousands of pages of reading and countless life experiences. One of the books that I keep coming back to is Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star. It’s filled with questionnaires and thoughtful prompts to help you discover what you really want out of this one wild and precious life. Because there is no self-help author that can tell you exactly how to live and love your life….that depends firmly on you.

A RECIPE FOR BUILDING YOUR HAPPIEST LIFE

1. Find three hobbies: one to make you money, one to keep you in shape, one to keep you creative.

2. Worry about your character, not your reputation. Your character is who you are, your reputation is who people think you are. And people will think many things about you….that is none of your business.

3. Your female friendships will be an extremely important foundation to whatever kind of life that you choose to build…nurture them. Avoid the ones that are all about the drama.

4. Real love flows freely. It won’t always be smooth sailing but you should be on the same team. Trust your gut.

5. Learn about finances early and how to build wealth so that it compounds silently in the background of living. This isn’t about being rich…it’s about having options. Money is freedom and it gives you choices. Consequently, be independent, set up your own accounts. At the same time, don’t live from a scarcity mindset because it will follow you forever and colour everything that you do. You need to find the balance between saving and living a life that brings you joy.

6. Learn about nutrition. Real food is better than supplements any day. Protein and fibre are your friends.

7. Lift weights. You will not look like a body builder but those muscles will help you age more comfortably.

8. Clutter creeps up on you. Consume mindfully.

9. Pick up some good habits that become second nature (drink water, get eight hours of sleep) and avoid the bad ones (don’t smoke, don’t gossip, don’t do drugs).

10. Laughter really is good medicine. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

11. Repeat after me: you are allowed to change your mind.

12. You will make mistakes, everyone does. Take the time to be upset, to process and learn from it. But don’t unpack and stay in that place….move forward.

13. Happiness starts with you. Period. Not with your job, friends or relationships. Don’t assign anyone or anything that much power over your life. And don’t worry about what other people are doing. Live on your own timeline and ignore the noise.

14. There is no one place to arrive at and you will never have it all figured out. Life is a moving target.

15. That being said, life is easier with a positive attitude and a propensity for gratitude. Lean into seeing the glass half full.

16. Stand up for what you believe in. Find your unique voice and use it to help the voiceless.

17. Spend time in nature and with animals.

18. Therapy is an amazing tool for getting to the core of who you really are.

19. Travel. Planes, trains and automobiles.

20. Move your body everyday. Don’t complicate it, even if it’s just a walk.

21. Be bored not boring, there’s a difference. Read.

22. Always choose kindness and honesty and you will have very few regrets.

23. Life is short and it will go by more quickly than you can even imagine….so have very few regrets.

24. No one knows how to live your life better than you. Take the time to get to know yourself, really know yourself. What do you value? How do you like to spend your days? Being alone is the best way to find a meaningful connection to yourself.

25. The magic isn’t outside of you….YOU ARE THE MAGIC! You probably won’t understand that yet and it may take some time to get there, but never forget it. Just be authentically you. Your people will find you more easily.

After I wrote the letter, I got to wondering if I had actually had that list when I was eighteen, would it have made a difference? When I am seventy-five years old, what recommendations would I make for my fifty year old self? I came to the conclusion that life can only be lived forward and understood backwards….you really are the only person who knows what your best life looks like. Isn’t that an amazing thought?!

I’m curious to read what you would tell your younger selves….

Let me know!

My tradition of adding some lyrics of a favourite song:

Livin’ on Borrowed Time

by Breaking Rust

I don’t give a damn who don’t like me

Made my peace, my soul set free

We’re all just sparks in a stormy sky

Burning out bright before we die

So raise that glass, let it hit just right

Here’s to the truth and the dirt and the light

Yeah, we’re all just livin’

On borrowed time

Translation: my place of happiness

A cozy corner in my new home by the water 📸 Lisa Mac

If you had told me ten years ago that I would be where I am now, I would have laughed out loud. Very loudly. I’m currently sitting in what is known as the “messy middle” or the “liminal space”. I’m not exactly who I was or doing what I trained extensively to do, but I haven’t yet figured out who I am now or what I want to do with my time in this new chapter. I’m not working at the moment, but I’m not retired. I’m being rebooted. For the first time in an extremely long time, I have space in my days. As a creative working in a high stress environment for three decades, this has been world changing. It feels like I am waking up…. the phrase “asleep at the wheel” comes to mind. I was driving very competently. It’s just that my destination had changed and I wasn’t made aware, and the car was moving way too fast to take in any of the sights. It was the complete opposite of “it’s not about the destination, but the journey”. The journey had become a checklist and I just wanted it to be over. Are we there yet????

The catalyst for change came from the unlikeliest of places….my backseat driver, so to speak. It was my teenaged son (I have been a single mom since he was two years old) who had pushed for the move. After spending considerably more time in my hometown during Covid, located about a thousand kilometres away from the metropolis where we lived, he was charmed by the slower pace of life, the welcoming community and the proximity to nature. I had already bought a property there (you can read about that here) that I had been renting out, so we had a pied-à-terre. He gently suggested that he would like to finish high school where I studied. He had been studying in french and he wanted to do some in english. There was too much drama with these city kids and he wanted to experience a country life. Cue the violins….

Obviously, if I had been completely fulfilled in the life that I had been living, this would not have happened. It was not an easy ask…..sell our home, leave my practice, say goodbye to friends and family, leave my band. But my soul yelled a resounding “yes”! And a new adventure began.

This is literally skimming the surface of the past few years. But this is what this space is becoming for me…a place to put thoughts on a page. A way to look back on what happened so I can process and move forward. A space where I can discover Lisa 2.0. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I am leaning into that being ok.

Substack has been a welcome companion in this transitory period. As the months go by and the algorithm understands me more and more, I am surrounded by numerous souls navigating these same waters. Two years ago, I barely knew what this site was about and now I follow people who are helping me build healthy habits, declutter, simplify, look critically at finances; I have connected with women bringing other creatives together through retreats, parents becoming empty-nesters, courageous humans jumping into a new life. As my son would say, “I’m vibin’!”.

I love to read and write, but i am not an author. I am not dreaming of an online business. What am I doing, you may ask? Looking for my community, a tribe that resembles “moi”. A group of people having similar experiences, that have a willingness to laugh and who are looking toward their next chapter with delight and trepidation in equal measure. I’ve been asleep for awhile….it’s time to wake up and design a life that I really enjoy living. It’s time to LIVE.

If you find yourself in a similar place, I would love for you to reach out. Join my virtual road trip and we can enjoy the sights together….I finally have the time.

📸 Lisa Mac

P.S.

With my fierce love of music, I have decided that I will always attach a song title that goes with the theme of my post. Just because I can!

Sleeping at the Wheel

by Rob Thomas

“So come on, come on, it’s all we got,

Our hands are full but our lives are not,

The loose affiliation with the real,

We’re sleeping at the wheel.”

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a small town nestled between the mountains and the ocean, a ten minute drive to a stunning beach. Parking at this beach was minimal, so my dad had to drive us under a wooden railway overpass to access the other side of the peninsula. Oh, how I loved the smell of those old railroad ties mixed with the salt air, and as I peered out from the backseat, this is the side of the tracks that held the most interest for me. There were a scattering of colourful beach shacks, camping trailers and a bay full of herons, ducks and geese. No waves on this side, but it was teeming with life.

Just to the right, after emerging from under the rustic overpass, was a cozy, yellow A-frame. It had the largest piece of land, but it was tucked into a corner which we couldn’t access. Privacy and peace with a capital P. I distinctly remember telling my mom that I would like to live there one day, a nine year old’s whimsical dream. However, she, and the universe, took notice.

University, and then life, took me to various places far away from my hometown. When I first left at eighteen, I was scared and heart-broken. But with time, friendships and experiences, my loneliness lessened and the world beckoned. I would venture home once, maybe twice a year.

Fast forward thirty years and a lot of life had happened. Between a divorce and a life-altering pandemic, my soul was looking for a new way of being, somewhere different than the bustling city that had been my chosen home for the last twenty plus years. Around this time, I had joined Instagram to be able to monitor my teenaged son’s new account. Being an avid amateur photographer, I fell in like with the platform and posted my pictures regularly.

On a random day in April, I posted a photo from my childhood beach. I captioned it with these words: even after all my travels, this is still my favourite place in the world. The place that my soul felt the most at home. Now, I was not a viral sensation on this site and it wasn’t my goal. I just liked having my ideas and photos collected in one place, a virtual file-folder of some of my thoughts and images.

The next day at work, my secretary interrupted my session with a patient to tell me that my mother was on the phone. This never happened and as panic ripped through me, I hurried to take the call. My mom began with some pleasantries which calmed my nerves but then left room for irritation. Why would she bother me at work for no particular reason? Well, apparently, the owners of the little A-frame on my favourite beach were selling their oasis. They had remembered a conversation with my mom forty years ago where she had told them that if they ever considered selling to give her call, that she had a daughter that might be interested. Well, they were selling and I had first dibs. Remembering my Instagram post from the day before, cold shivers ran down my body.

This couldn’t be just a coincidence, could it?

Was the Universe telling me something? And if so, what?

Needless to say, I bought the little A-frame. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was the first step I took in creating a whole new life by the water, the Universe gently guiding my way. It all started with a small yearning murmured in the backseat of my parents’ car, forty years ago. Needless to say, I believe.